I know! I bought a duct tape wallet the other day, got it home and found out it was only 20% duct tape. The rest was high fructose corn syrup, Red 40 and maltodextrin.
I don’t need another duct tape wallet (I’m still trying to get the last one out of my pocket since I accidentally made it sticky side out), but I’ll take that chess board.
Ah, yes. And I realize that I read your original comment wrong. That’s what happens when your children are going Lord of the Flies around you while you try to look at dumb shit on the Internet. Back to lurking because obviously, this commenting thing isn’t working out for me.
Just so you guys have some comparison, here’s some good duct-tape craft. Friend of mine did this for the duct-tape prom contests in both 2007 and 2008. Pictured here is the 2007 version.
I had a friend who did duct tape outfits to prom or something… back in the day when we were wee (OK, so about 10 years ago). I thought it was completely kick ass, until he told me how nasty sweaty you get wearing duct tape clothing. I guess I should have figured that for myself, but it just looked so friggin awesome.
Yeah, friend and date had a rough time, too. They had to bring rolls of duct-tape so that when they went to the bathroom, somebody could literally cut them out and then duct-tape them back in. I remember her date was just sweating buckets the whole night.
Thankfully this was for a scholarship contest and not just pure craziness. Sadly though, they didn’t win. Which is ridiculous because those outfits are awesome. They were very popular people at prom that year.
WHAT is the new fascination with duct tape wallets??? And duct tape pens?? My son’s class this year – everyone was making and selling them to their friends. It was SO annoying! They had him convinced to pay $10 for a wallet for me for Mother’s Day – their parents need to be beaten.
There was actually a clip on the news about this recently. On. The. News. As if duct-tape wallets are really the most important thing they could be talking about.
It’s not like making stuff out of duct-tape is a new idea, for fucks sake. This stuff just wanes in and out of popularity and we’re just Alzheimer’s patients who think these trends are “new” every time we see them
The thing that gets me is that this is a suitable craft when you’re a kid with more time than money, and are willing to put up with heavy sweat or linty tape edges to show off your creations. Not really something for grown-ups to make, sell, or buy. The ONLY way I’d buy a duct tape accessory is if kids made them and were selling them for charity. And then I’d still probably just make a donation, unless they had something I thought one of my nieces or nephews would like.
So the target market for duct tape wallets is, say, 8-13 year old boys, right? Really, it’s brilliant marketing for people who have an interest in the interests of 8-13 year old boys.
I think that we have an entire new category here, Lame & Lazy Sellers trying to tie their products to MJ. First the ABC bracelet, now this. Only coleslaw Jesus knows what’s next.
I’d buy it, too. Maybe once I run through my supply of the camo print. Oooh, brilliant idea! Replace the boring silver duct tape holding together the pipes under the bathroom sink with the Hello Kitty print before my boyfriend moves out of his apartment.
OK, I’ve worked with the public long enough to know that the 1st is to block the gov’mint from reading your thoughts, but the other two? What are they?
Second was the Mythbusters lifting a sedan with just duck tape. It held to at least 5ft for half an hour before the fabric part of the tape gave out. Jamie’s standing there in front of it.
The cold, metal skeleton of my chair’s arms presses itself hungrily against the cracked pleather, longing for my hot blood, lusting for my flesh. Only DUCT TAPE keeps that monster at bay! God bless DUCT TAPE!
June 24, 2011 at 2:03 pm
That would be perfect for my husband when he wears the duct-tape chaps I made for him.
June 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Is he still wearing them? Cause you know duct tape never comes off.
June 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm
That’s what he gets for being a bad boy. And she was nice and left them assless.
June 24, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Being assless is what defines them as chaps. Otherwise we’d call them “pants”.
June 24, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Ouch, ouch ouch!
June 24, 2011 at 2:04 pm
It better not be filled with wadded tissues.
June 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm
That would spoil the classic lines.
June 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm
They’re folded neatly.
June 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm
How can wadded tissues be folded neatly?
You people are blowing my mind.
June 24, 2011 at 2:05 pm
They could have at least glued some monster yellow googly eyes on it.
June 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm
And an ironic mustache.
June 24, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Or a removable nose!
June 24, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Even better, multiple noses like Mr. Potato Head!
June 24, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Put a magnet in it, and sell it with little magnet noses that you can swap out at your whim.
June 24, 2011 at 7:07 pm
The magnet would fuck up your credit cards, though.
June 24, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Pssshhh No one carrying that piece of crap would have credit cards!
June 24, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Velcro?
June 25, 2011 at 12:44 pm
all these comments are hilarious!
June 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Oh man, I could be making mad bank off my dad’s Ace Rewards cards selling duct tape wallets.
The hell have I been doing?
June 24, 2011 at 2:21 pm
the real Question you have to ask you yourself is how do i get that that table the wallet is on??
June 24, 2011 at 2:28 pm
http://www.homewetbar.com/Shot-Glass-Checkers-Set-Chess-p-809.html
June 24, 2011 at 2:35 pm
nice!!!
June 24, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Does this come in the Bikini Style?
June 24, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Just Thong.
June 24, 2011 at 2:11 pm
If you beat it so hard you need to use duct tape…
June 24, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Oh you don’t even want to know the visuals i just had with that statement LOL
June 24, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 24, 2011 at 3:33 pm
No. Just no.
June 24, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Is THAT what happens when you get one of those 4-hour erections and don’t call the doctor?
June 24, 2011 at 2:12 pm
I’m glad it’s 100% pure duct tape. I hate duct tape made from concentrate.
June 24, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Or that lower quality duct-tape substitute. Blech.
June 24, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I know! I bought a duct tape wallet the other day, got it home and found out it was only 20% duct tape. The rest was high fructose corn syrup, Red 40 and maltodextrin.
June 24, 2011 at 3:01 pm
That’s awful, tiny giraffe! Organic, all-natural duct tape is the only way to go. It’s so much better, for you AND for the environment.
June 24, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I prefer Kale Tape.
June 24, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Plus if it’s hemp duct tape, you could always roll it and smoke it if you got desperate enough.
June 24, 2011 at 2:55 pm
June 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm
It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I realized the word is “duct”,” not “duck”. In my defense, when you say it, it sounds like “duck tape.”
June 24, 2011 at 3:39 pm
“Duck” is not wrong, it’s a brand name.
http://www.duckbrand.com/
Oh Duckitall! I forgot to capitalize “Duck” in my lol.
June 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I don’t need another duct tape wallet (I’m still trying to get the last one out of my pocket since I accidentally made it sticky side out), but I’ll take that chess board.
June 24, 2011 at 2:16 pm
The reason is that anyone and everyone should beat a retreat when a faced with a duct tape wallet.
June 24, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Aaaarctually, the colours are evocative of his jacket in Beat It. The Thriller jacket is red and black. </pedant>
(I will so get downvoted to hell for this but I can’t stand it when SOMEONE IS WRONG ON THE INTERNET! *lol*)
June 24, 2011 at 2:21 pm
These colors are what happened to the red and black when his skin bleach got on his jacket.
June 24, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Actually, he wore the jacket in both videos, so Beat It is correct as well.
June 24, 2011 at 2:34 pm
June 24, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Different jackets…
June 24, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Ah, yes. And I realize that I read your original comment wrong. That’s what happens when your children are going Lord of the Flies around you while you try to look at dumb shit on the Internet. Back to lurking because obviously, this commenting thing isn’t working out for me.
June 24, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Your pedantry is turning me on. Wanna get married and have a bunch of extremely nerdy, detail-oriented babies?
June 24, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Unfortunately, children of pedants tend to rebel and be anti-knowledge-for-knowledge’s-sake. Ask how I know.
June 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Now I’m extra happy that I never had kids because that would just piss me off.
June 24, 2011 at 4:04 pm
He was so adorable when he made “Beat It.” It makes me a little teary seeing this old photo.
Nothing funny here, move along.
June 24, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Until seller mentioned it, I had never noticed what MJ was holding.
June 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm
@clarissawam: wow, If you can’t stand someone beng wrong on the internet, you must get frustrated a lot.
June 24, 2011 at 2:17 pm
The color palette reads more “Miami Vice” than “Thriller” video to me.
June 24, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Lies. Not lays.
June 24, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Just so you guys have some comparison, here’s some good duct-tape craft. Friend of mine did this for the duct-tape prom contests in both 2007 and 2008. Pictured here is the 2007 version.
June 24, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Damn, just picture that smaller.
Better?
June 24, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I had a friend who did duct tape outfits to prom or something… back in the day when we were wee (OK, so about 10 years ago). I thought it was completely kick ass, until he told me how nasty sweaty you get wearing duct tape clothing. I guess I should have figured that for myself, but it just looked so friggin awesome.
June 24, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Yeah, friend and date had a rough time, too. They had to bring rolls of duct-tape so that when they went to the bathroom, somebody could literally cut them out and then duct-tape them back in. I remember her date was just sweating buckets the whole night.
Thankfully this was for a scholarship contest and not just pure craziness. Sadly though, they didn’t win. Which is ridiculous because those outfits are awesome. They were very popular people at prom that year.
June 24, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Her dress is possibly the most awesome prom dress I have seen ever.
June 24, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I like that dress. The tux is good to but the dress is good even on non-duct-tape. If you have to go vintage inspired, that is it!
June 24, 2011 at 6:47 pm
I still can’t get my mind around “good duct tape craft” – I just can’t.
June 25, 2011 at 1:34 am
I call shenanigans. The bottom of that dress is clearly tulle.
June 24, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Brilliant post. Aaaand that’s a wrap.
See you guys tomorrow! Or midnight. Whatever.
June 24, 2011 at 2:23 pm
WHAT is the new fascination with duct tape wallets??? And duct tape pens?? My son’s class this year – everyone was making and selling them to their friends. It was SO annoying! They had him convinced to pay $10 for a wallet for me for Mother’s Day – their parents need to be beaten.
Whew, sorry….a little bitter…..
June 24, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Yes, they do. With a duct tape night stick.
June 24, 2011 at 2:27 pm
There was actually a clip on the news about this recently. On. The. News. As if duct-tape wallets are really the most important thing they could be talking about.
It’s not like making stuff out of duct-tape is a new idea, for fucks sake. This stuff just wanes in and out of popularity and we’re just Alzheimer’s patients who think these trends are “new” every time we see them
June 24, 2011 at 3:05 pm
The thing that gets me is that this is a suitable craft when you’re a kid with more time than money, and are willing to put up with heavy sweat or linty tape edges to show off your creations. Not really something for grown-ups to make, sell, or buy. The ONLY way I’d buy a duct tape accessory is if kids made them and were selling them for charity. And then I’d still probably just make a donation, unless they had something I thought one of my nieces or nephews would like.
June 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm
You just found a less obvious reason for the wallet’s name.
June 24, 2011 at 2:30 pm
June 24, 2011 at 2:51 pm
This explains much….
Where’s his NAMBLA Frequent Shopper card?
June 24, 2011 at 2:39 pm
On the plus side, at least they’re only charging $5.99 and not, you know, $50.
June 24, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Yeah, you’ll have plenty of money left over to buy this. It will go great with your new wallet:
What better piece of jewelry to wear when flouncing?
June 24, 2011 at 6:12 pm
My cat gacks up things that look a little like that, especially when he’s been in the basement hunting spiders.
June 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm
So the target market for duct tape wallets is, say, 8-13 year old boys, right? Really, it’s brilliant marketing for people who have an interest in the interests of 8-13 year old boys.
June 24, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I think that we have an entire new category here, Lame & Lazy Sellers trying to tie their products to MJ. First the ABC bracelet, now this. Only coleslaw Jesus knows what’s next.
June 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm
I spotted Hello Kitty duct tape the other day…a whole new thing for craftards to stock up the supply cabinet with.
June 24, 2011 at 8:44 pm
I must be a craftard, because I’d buy it. I also love the flame print duct tape.
June 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I’d buy it, too. Maybe once I run through my supply of the camo print. Oooh, brilliant idea! Replace the boring silver duct tape holding together the pipes under the bathroom sink with the Hello Kitty print before my boyfriend moves out of his apartment.
June 24, 2011 at 4:05 pm
“If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy”
June 24, 2011 at 4:44 pm
I must say, my fav duct tape project was the sailboat that Adam and Jamie made on “Mythbusters”. It really worked
June 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm
I once saw the back end of an old Chevette that was entirely held together with duct tape. No lie.
June 24, 2011 at 5:40 pm
substitute “Chevette” with “Ford Ranger” and “Back end” with “Floorboards”, and you have the vehicle I drove in high school.
June 24, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Was it an orange Chevette? cuz if it was, it was mine.
June 24, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Is it the MJ Beat It Special because the red duct tape is losing pigmentation on the top left?
June 24, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Out of morbid curiosity, I did a search for “Duct Tape Wallet” on Etsy, and came back with over 1,300 results, including this:
I think the sooner that the aliens come and wipe out humanity, the better.
June 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm
Dave Coulier… And Alanis Morissette went down on this guy in a theater.
June 24, 2011 at 5:34 pm
June 24, 2011 at 6:23 pm
What the friggin’ shit is THAT? It can NOT be made of duct tape…can it? How can they both be upright under the weight – and heat – of that much tape?
Oh, the humanity!
June 24, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Ah, youth! Seriously awesome job, though.
June 25, 2011 at 4:19 am
Is that Kaylee and Mal? That’s awesome!
June 24, 2011 at 5:49 pm
other uses:
June 24, 2011 at 6:51 pm
OK, I’ve worked with the public long enough to know that the 1st is to block the gov’mint from reading your thoughts, but the other two? What are they?
June 25, 2011 at 12:33 am
Second was the Mythbusters lifting a sedan with just duck tape. It held to at least 5ft for half an hour before the fabric part of the tape gave out. Jamie’s standing there in front of it.
June 25, 2011 at 8:41 am
That sounds like the most reasonble use of the 3.
June 26, 2011 at 6:17 am
So duct tape is the new tinfoil ?
June 24, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Duct tape cheeseburger!!
Has anyone made duct tape bacon yet?
June 24, 2011 at 10:41 pm
OK, first & third down, anyone have ideas for the second.
June 24, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I was thinking “beat it” meant it came with a NAMBLA membership card.
June 24, 2011 at 6:27 pm
The cold, metal skeleton of my chair’s arms presses itself hungrily against the cracked pleather, longing for my hot blood, lusting for my flesh. Only DUCT TAPE keeps that monster at bay! God bless DUCT TAPE!