Easter Mourning
Can’t you just see little Carol’s face on that Easter morning so long ago? I can picture her beaming parents, watching as she popped open the plastic egg and found a dead rotting chicken inside. And as she ran screaming to her bedroom, they sat down and ate all her candy. It was the best Easter ever.
June 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Don’t show this to the duck in the pool!
June 21, 2011 at 1:28 pm
Sorry folks, that’s not a chick. Duck out back shoulda told ya.
June 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm
its a baby duck, yes
June 21, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Get the hoisin sauce.
June 21, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I was hoping somebody had pointed out that it was a duck and not a chicken!
June 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm
This practice run for Lady Gaga’s grammy entrance highlighted some key technical flaws the crew missed in the prototype.
June 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm
The horror!
June 21, 2011 at 3:58 pm
You know what’s really messed up? Someone had to open that thing up and POSE THE DEAD DUCKLING to get those photos.
Just here to add to your nightmares…
June 21, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Can you imagine having that job…and the client telling you she wants it to look cute and cuddly?
June 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Dear God that would have been quite scary as a child, and yet I kind of hope you are right.
June 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm
I disagree.
When I was nine my parents (I think they were pretty hammered most of the year) gave me a series of holiday gifts I still remember fondly to this day:
Birthday – A fetus in a vacuum bag
Valentine’s Day – A dove’s heart in a heart-shaped box
Easter – White chocolate (threw up for days – the worst)
Memorial Day – A dead soldier wrapped in a flag
Fourth of July – A powdered wig made from corpse hair
Labor Day – A UAW member stuffed into a Pinto gas tank
Thanksgiving – A turducken (YUM!)
Christmas – A reindeer head with a clown nose in a box marked “air hockey game”
And I still turned out okay!
June 21, 2011 at 3:14 pm
How exactly does one receive a dead soldier?
June 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm
I don’t know, but you salute when it happens.
July 24, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Do you still have these terrific sounding items? I’d love to see photos.
June 21, 2011 at 9:02 pm
See, my first thought is that the gift was a live duckling. I figure Carol took one look at the egg, realized it wasn’t edible, and disinterestedly tossed it behind the couch to run off in search of candy.
Then everyone totally forgot the whole thing and the duckling stealthily preserved itself over the next month or so.
June 22, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Or it was hidden too well and nobody found it for weeks. In any case, I bet the poor birdie smothered horribley. I wonder if the damage was from the panicked thrashing?
June 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Nothing signifies the Risen Lord like taxidermy.
June 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Love that.
June 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Duck or chicken, I bet poor Carol thought it was chocolate and ate the eye, hoping for an M&M.
June 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm
The webbed feet and bill make me think that is/was a duck, so it should actually be called a duckling. Yeah, I live on a farm, does it show?
June 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Yeah, it’s a duck. My farm didn’t have birds but I can still tell it is/was a duck.
June 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm
It’s true, that was my first thought as well. Not, “Hey, that’s so utterly wrong to give a kid a dead animal for Easter,” not “Hey, that’s so utterly wrong to keep said dead animal and resell it,” but “Hey, that’s so utterly wrong. It’s a duck, not a chicken.”
June 21, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Wrong. As Gramps always told me after his third pint of cinnamon shnapps “sonny boy, if it walks like a duck and quack likes a duck, it’s a chicken”
June 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm
We should see if it floats…
June 21, 2011 at 7:06 pm
We should see if it weighs the same as a witch!
June 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm
If it looks like a dead duck, and it rots like a dead duck, and it’s as quiet as a dead duck, then it’s a dead duck.
June 21, 2011 at 3:50 pm
…with hoisin sauce.
June 21, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I’m sitting here proofreading a cookbook…and I just got to the duck section.
I swear I am not making this up: The first recipe calls for “1 duck, dried inside and out.”
Check!
June 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Papyrus font clashes with the duckling corpse.
Duckling Corpse – is that Tim Burton’s next film?
June 21, 2011 at 1:34 pm
SHHH! Don’t give him any ideas!!
June 21, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Helena Bonham Carter has already been tapped to play the title character. Johnny Depp is in talks to play the grieving child. It will be stop-motioned animated and feature original music by Danny Elfman.
June 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm
So we go from zombie Jesus to zombie chick. Easter will never be the same.
June 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm
My mom did not find it so amusing when I asked her if Jesus was a zombie…
Hey, I was 10 or 11 at the time. Something dies, comes back to life after a few days, has to be a zombie, right?
June 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm
It is as far as I’m concerned. Get the flamethrower and I’ll work on my cardio.
June 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Last year my boyfriend quite seriously told a street preacher he (the preacher) believed in a zombie, because only zombies rise from the dead. The look we were given and the muttered “heathens” was priceless.
June 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I usually tell the religious that I can’t get behind the concept of something that would be pretty damn scary in a movie.
June 21, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Even better–one of the Gospels (too lazy to go look up which one)mentions, in passing, that when Jesus rose from the dead so did a bunch of other people who then wandered around preaching to people! And this only gets a ho-hum mention like it was no big deal to have dead uncle Joe wandering back in to talk theology after his own funeral.
June 21, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Looks more like a memorial to a dead chick named Carol.
June 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm
In light of the missing duck eye your avatar is freaking me out.
June 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm
..he whispered in her ear, “Carrrroolllll, I have a gift for you. I’ll leave it on your pillow and in your dreams.”
February 20, 2012 at 8:56 am
A dead chick called Carol Anne
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlSPC1nwDo4
June 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm
WHO on God’s green earth would give a dead animal to a child as a present?!
June 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
June 21, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Should be this video. Worked in the preview. Darn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Nn0UkdDArM
June 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm
That is amazing. I laughed so hard.
Is it wrong that I see nothing wrong with that video? That little girl is on the way to being a laid back bad-ass… or a serial killer, either way.
June 21, 2011 at 4:36 pm
That made my whole day.
A future pathologist? Taxidermist? Serial killer?
Mom’s facepalm was priceless.
July 5, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Seriously hilariously messed up.
And after my initial “OMG she’s playing with a dead animal … “, I thought, “Where the hell are this kid’s clothes, and why is she on the front lawn naked?!”
June 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm
I just honestly hope it was SUPPOSED to be dead when they were giving it to the child, and not an “oops” moment, where the only way to console the child was to have it preserved afterward.
June 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm
It’s probably something less traumatic like the duck lived all of 2 weeks and the child was heartbroken when they squeezed it to death (as kids always do) and some father with way too much time preserved it to make her feel better that she killed it.
Or like someone else said, someone really f’ed up hiding the Easter eggs for the hunt.
June 21, 2011 at 1:45 pm
I’d vote for the latter.
June 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Me too.
June 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm
effed up hiding them…or did a REALLY good job?
June 21, 2011 at 2:09 pm
My dad gave me a preserved octopus in a jar when I was 8…He used to work for a company that picked up the medical waste at hospitals (like amputated limbs and such) and one of the guys at the morge gave it to him. Best present ever.
June 21, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I should probably mention that I was a HUGE science geek and I got to assist at a real lab when I was 16.
June 21, 2011 at 4:23 pm
I cringe to think how someone working at a morgue stumbled across a dead, whole octopus.
June 21, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Who said it was whole?
June 21, 2011 at 6:23 pm
You just ruined my entire childhood…..*lol*
It never even occured to me to ask! I’ll give my brain a high five for that one. Wow.
June 21, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Sorry, Nikkipook. But I’d like to ask a question that’s been driving me mad since I read your first post. How did an octopus end up in the morgue??
(And, all things considered, I can understand how that would be the most awesome present for an 8-year-old! Your dad is very cool.)
June 21, 2011 at 2:12 pm
My family. My niece was THRILLED to receive a dead bat preserved in lucite for her 6th birthday this year.
June 21, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Carol’s parents!
Or Carol’s “special” foster parents that wanted to remind her she forgot to feed the ducken.
June 21, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Who on God’s earth would be interested in purchasing a USED mangled dead duck in a plastic egg personalized with someone else’s name?
It’s bad enough the first time. Some things fail even harder when they’re “vintage.”
June 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Since it’s an estate sale, can I also get a taxidermy Carol to go with it?
June 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Hidden for the 2001 Family Easter Egg Hunt
Found at the 2011 Family Easter Egg Hunt
June 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Just think of how much i can save if i just start giving out dead things to people for holidays and birthdays. Eventually they might even pay me to stop giving gifts. This could work.
June 21, 2011 at 1:29 pm
If I still worked at Petco, I could have raided the freezer (or The Farm as I liked to call it) and had exotic gifts for everyone on my shopping list.
June 21, 2011 at 2:08 pm
YES!
June 21, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Good idea! In fact, I just might need to buy this one. My stepmother’s name is Carol, she’s into arty stuff, and her birthday is 2 weeks away!
Just kidding, Carol. Keep me in the will.
June 21, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Does it have tears (it is torn), or tears (it is still crying)?
June 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I can only speak for myself, and I’m like Iron Eyes Cody over here.
June 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm
It probably has fewer tears than Carol did.
June 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm
When Ducks Cry
June 21, 2011 at 4:47 pm
…no one hears them when they’re locked inside a plastic egg.
June 21, 2011 at 1:27 pm
“If you’re really good, it will wake up!”
June 21, 2011 at 6:54 pm
OMG that’s horrible.
Almost as horrible as how much I laughed at that.
June 21, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Call me crazy but I just wanted a milk chocolate rabbit. My parents and the rest of the family were nuts and had they found one of these, that thing could have been in my Easter basket.
June 21, 2011 at 1:27 pm
“chick’s feet and bottom of beak have tears”
I’d be crying too.
June 21, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Who the Christ thought that was a good present? Not for children, not for Easter, not for anybody at any time ever.
June 21, 2011 at 1:28 pm
What the hell is so wrong with a fun-sized Snickers?? Is Easter stepping up its game?
June 21, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Perhaps an attempt at a crossover holiday: Easterween.
June 21, 2011 at 1:33 pm
It makes the Zombie Jesus concept even more fitting.
June 21, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I gave up Catholicism about 30 years ago (not that I was ever that serious a participant), but now that I’ve encountered the idea of Jesus Christ as a zombie (makes a lot of sense), I may rejoin the flock…not the flock of dead baby ducklings. I hope there isn’t such a flock. But I digress.
June 21, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Nightmare before Easter
June 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I thought there could be nothing more horrific in the Easter basket than the Cadbury Cream Egg, I was wrong.
June 21, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Peeps?
June 21, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Not this chick. Not for years.
June 21, 2011 at 7:28 pm
GypseyRoseMe, I wish I could give you more thumgs-up. I also wish I hadn’t worn eyeliner, buecause now my eysight is blurry from laughingso hard.
June 21, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Peeps are only horrific if you eat all but the heads, and line those up carefully back in the box. Even better if they’re eyeless.
June 22, 2011 at 8:28 am
The best way to eat a peep is to microwave it and shovel it into your mouth while it’s still warm and gooey.
…Since they deflate after being microwaved, I guess you could give the neighborhood kids some peep pancakes for easter. Only slightly less traumatizing than a mummified duckling, and 99% less biohazard!
June 21, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I guess the parents got around the problem of “what do I do with a grown chicken/duck after Easter?”, just give her a dead one to begin with! It’s genius.
Would a hybrid chicken/duck be a “chuck” or a “dicken”?
June 21, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Do you remember the Churkendoose? “Part chicken, turkety, duck, and goose”. Kid’s story/record from the 50s about accepting the fact that you’re strange.
June 21, 2011 at 2:17 pm
No, but ever since I’ve heard of a Turducken (chicken stuffed in a duck which is stuffed n a turkey), I’ve been dying to have some.
June 21, 2011 at 5:28 pm
“Turducken” just sounds gross to me. I can’t get past the 1st 4 letters of the word.
June 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
This bird carcass is not historically or theologically accurate. I would only buy this if the wounds could be customized to match stigmata.
June 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
This is what happens when you leave it in the glove box.
June 21, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Selling off junk from the boxes in the garage. Find a dead duckling and a transparent plastic egg.
“Hey guys I’m selling this quirky vintage Easter present.”
June 21, 2011 at 1:33 pm
If I had tears in my feet and was missing an eye, I doubt people would describe me as being in “good condition.” Some chicks have it easy.
June 21, 2011 at 2:18 pm
I’m with you, Tiny Giraffe. It’s always the young chicks that get away with
murderanything.June 21, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Hmmm… does this mean I should type ‘redrum’ when discussing ‘anything’?
June 21, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Ihatefacegbook, that might be a good idea. Also, take the stairs, not the elevator for a while–just to be safe.
June 21, 2011 at 1:33 pm
I’m thinking maybe it was a live gift gone awry. The duckling/chick was alive and they thought it would be cool to give it to their daughter in a decorative plastic Easter egg. Unfortunately they forgot to drill an air hole, or else little Carol never opened the egg in the first place and it just died. Or Carol was insane and put a live or dead thing in a plastic egg for safe keeping, petting it on occasion.
The possibilities are endless, really.
June 21, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Here’s one you didn’t consider: The child (presumably a girl) was given a baby duckling. Girl named baby duckling Carol. After whom, alas, we’ll never know. Girl interacted with baby duckling, perhaps with too much enthusiasm. Carol dies. Girl is afraid of the dark, so she puts Carol in a clear-topped plastic egg coffin, so Carol will be able to see out…into the dirt in which she’s buried, but Girl, being a kid, doesn’t think it through.
It’s a coffin with a partially desicated baby duckling.
But at least it’s not a zombie duckling.
June 21, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Yeah this is what came to mind for me. Chicks/ducklings just die sometimes and maybe the little girl (Carol Sr.?) was so heartbroken the parents…did…this.
Weirder things have happened. I had a full-fledged triple chicken funeral not so long ago, so I can kind of see it.
June 21, 2011 at 4:09 pm
I read that as “a full-fledged hippie chicken funeral” and was confused as to whether it was a chicken funeral in a hippie style…or some cowardly hippie…no, I don’t want to go there.
June 22, 2011 at 3:43 am
Nothing so exotic. Just three dead chickens with graveside service, mourners, eulogy, flowers and a headstone. (It was near holloween so I bought a foam gravestone that said R.I.P., but it started bumming the kids out and they asked me to get rid of it)
June 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm
That thought crossed my mine too… that some dumbass person put live ducks/chicks in fake eggs as part of an Easter hunt, and this one was never found.
Who knows – this might turn into a morbid holiday urban legend, like the one about the dad who dresses like Santa and gets trapped in the chimney, but doesn’t get discovered until days later. *shiver*
June 21, 2011 at 9:43 pm
The idea of a poor little baby duck chirping away helplessly in a cramped plastic prison until it finally succumbed from lack of oxygen, heat or starvation is a more horrifying thought than the actual dead chick in the plastic egg.
I really wish this were a Member’s Only post so it would not be shown in its entirety every time I check out the first page.
June 21, 2011 at 1:34 pm
For some reason I find it infinitely weirder that this is a sort of “found art” piece.
Somehow I have no problem believing someone thinking: I dehydrate a dead duckling and stick it in an easter egg and sell it.
That sounds very etsyian to me.
But someone just happening across this thing and thinking ‘sell it’ rather than ‘kill it with fire!’
Mind bending.
June 21, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Remember that person who found a dead, dessicated cat in behind the hay bales? Or the one selling dead mouse earrings?
If someone bought all of them, they’d have the fixings for a really creepy children’s story, or props for a zombie farm movie.
June 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm
If the holiday celebrates a dead guy rising to heaven, what’s so odd about a dead chicken as a gift on said holiday.
Goyim! SHEESH!
June 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Did any of you have “that” Uncle that always hid the eggs so well that one or two would be found months later? This is proof, never let Uncle Billy hide the eggs with live chicks in them….
June 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm
“Hey honey, how tall is Carol?”
June 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Ok if this is the little girl the chick belonged to, it totally makes sense:
I’m guessing the chick was perfectly fine until she squeezed it so hard she popped an eye out and killed it. Maybe the parents are just trying to get the most for their money?
June 21, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Avian identification fail.
Also, UGH.
June 21, 2011 at 1:38 pm
“one eye missing?” “tears in feet?” This may be a rerun but it is so appropriate.
June 21, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Yes, cats are sickened by dead birds.
June 21, 2011 at 5:09 pm
My cat wants nothing to do with dead bids. Well, ever since he figured out that they don’t taste like chunk light tuna packed in spring water.
June 21, 2011 at 5:25 pm
*derp* dead birds
June 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Friends 4 Ever
June 21, 2011 at 5:44 pm
You spelled “4 Evah” wrong.
June 21, 2011 at 10:09 pm
It’s only because I though “evah” would get sucked into the forbidden word filter. Who knew?
June 21, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Toss in the dead mouse earrings and you have a burial offering fit for a mummified cat!
June 21, 2011 at 1:38 pm
I kinda want it though. I hear PETA takes donations they’d like this right? Right?
June 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I could thumbs-up this a hundred times.
June 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Guh, Papyrus.
June 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm
You cut away all the bullshit and go right to the heart of the ugliness, don’t you.
June 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm
That’s what happens when you’re bad before Easter and your parents decide you don’t get your Easter Basket…
Why get your children a chick or duckling anyway? It’s not a dog or cat, so you’re likely not equipped to make that kind of commitment unless you have a farm or a pond of some sort… Or in April’s case, a pool
June 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Carol is probably the name of the little girl who they turned into a duckling and locked away forever….
Man, I watch way too many horror films.
June 21, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Yeah, like the mean circus lady in “Freaks” who gets turned into The Duck Lady!
June 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Am I the only one who kinda wished the other eye had been lost too? Those creepy fake eyes are the worst part of taxidermy. Dang, now that thing’s gonna be staring at me in my dreams tonight.
June 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm
GUESS WHAT? I FOUND HIS OTHER EYE!
June 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm
June 21, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Dammit!
My kids are all grown now. Just think of the traumatizing I could have done!
I mean, you know, in addition to the trauma I caused them in general.
June 21, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Patty…one word…GRANDCHILDREN! You have lots of time to plan and plot and stock up on supplies.
June 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Actually, my kids are of the “we’re not having kids” state of mind. So much so that the 22 year old is counting down till the age she can get her tubes tied.
And so far, so good. Two girls through high school without getting knocked up and the boy got through high school without knocking anyone up.
Which might be because I traumatized them with discussions of teen pregnancy, childbirth, and proper use of birth control/protection.
WHY AM I SUCH AN AWFUL PARENT!?
June 21, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I agree with Mugsy – grandchildren are the Mommy’s Revenge. The curse goes like this:
One day
You’ll have one just like
you
Then you will know
What I went
through.
It will be your job to wind those little demons up, turn ‘em loose and send them home.
June 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm
June 21, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Well obviously someone did not know the proper way to make balut.
June 21, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I dunno… it sure looks like balut to me!
June 21, 2011 at 5:08 pm
You might wanna take a look at wiki. Balut is duck embryo. I’d post a pic, but that might offend people….
Wait this is Regretsy. What am I thinking?
Mmm it’s like eating a duck abortion.
June 21, 2011 at 5:26 pm
I don’t understand – why did you post a picture of dinuguan?
June 21, 2011 at 9:17 pm
I grew up in the Philippines. Balut is duck embryo. Dinuguan is blood pudding.
Balut http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(egg)
Dinuguan http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinuguan
June 21, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Hmmm… Ampalaya!
(Just testing.)
June 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm
OK… I’m convinced… you can sale fucking anything online. I’m going to start saving my chin hairs in a little jar and sell them online.
June 21, 2011 at 3:18 pm
http://failblog.org/2011/06/20/epic-fail-photos-inspiring-confidence-fail/
June 21, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Oddly enough… I used the correct word in the second sentence. My only excuse is: I just got some amazing chronic!
June 21, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Put them in a plastic egg not a jar. Maybe add some glitter. Use an older egg and you can tag it as vintage.
June 21, 2011 at 2:24 pm
peep peep went the dehydrated chick… peep peep. when you go to sleep and that thing comes to life and eats your eyes for dinner.
June 21, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I swear to God, I will NEVER use papyrus again.
June 21, 2011 at 4:29 pm
It took THIS to make you stop using Papyrus???
Maybe animal sacrifice is acceptable, under some circumstances.
June 21, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Worries me what needs to be sacrificed so people will stop using Comic Sans.
June 23, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Jesus already died for our Sans. When will people ever learn?
June 21, 2011 at 2:37 pm
What the -fuck- is wrong with this individual? Goddam…
June 21, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Selling a dead duck without even knowing what it is – priceless. No, really. That shit shouldn’t even be free; she should pay someone to take it.
June 21, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Oh my gosh, I had one of those when I was a kid!! If my name was Carol, I would think someone had swiped mine…..
June 21, 2011 at 2:42 pm
My Chickenpants Kirk and Spock have asked to be removed from the computer room, and put back up in the bedroom where they can start to heal from this trauma.
Helen, I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!
June 21, 2011 at 2:44 pm
June 21, 2011 at 5:17 pm
That’s actually quite lovely. Maybe there’s a market for people to have photos taken with their post-mortem pets?
June 21, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Hello. LEVEL 4 CAT.
June 21, 2011 at 2:45 pm
June 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm
This little girl is even creepier than the one above, just because she looks like she’s going to pop it in her mouth like an hors d’oeuvre.
June 21, 2011 at 4:30 pm
She reminds me of an Olsen twin. The creepy one.
June 21, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I thought they were both creepy.
June 21, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Thanks, Cindy-Lou Hoohoo for catching my error. I meant to write the creepier Olsen twin.
June 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I think some child forgot to open/never found her easter gift until it was too late.
June 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I think some parent forgot to poke some holes in the egg until it was too late.
June 21, 2011 at 3:03 pm
June 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Estate sales are just fucked up. I stopped wandering in to random estate sales after seeing all the weird shit one of my neighbors collected before she died.
June 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm
I’m pretty sure this little girl would love a dead chick.
June 21, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Is this perhaps some sick religious thing?
“See, Carol? You didn’t pray hard enough? Ducky wasn’t resurrected. You are a sinful little whore. One day you will learn!”
Carol now spends 10 hours a week in therapy. She’s one of those bitter folk you see in Unitarian churches and support groups. She’s also vegan and has seventeen cats in her studio apartment.
June 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Hey, my Unitarian church is full of fun-loving heathens and humanists!
June 21, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Thank the gods for that!
June 21, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Mommy, why won’t the duckling play with me? Doesn’t he like me? I like him. Mommy???
June 21, 2011 at 4:46 pm
June 21, 2011 at 5:16 pm
can someone say, ‘Report this bitch to the motherflippin ASPCA!’
Poor chick!!
June 21, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Damn, I feel sad for the duckling now
June 21, 2011 at 6:25 pm
“May have been a child’s Easter present.”
I’m surprised the name on there isn’t Wendesday.
June 21, 2011 at 6:52 pm
June 21, 2011 at 7:04 pm
The last photograph that April posted makes it looks like a fluffy little platypus playing dead. If I ignore the decayed feet, it’s sort of cute, in a decayed-duckling-upended-on-its-back kind of way.
June 21, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Damn it, people need to stop digging around in my back yard!! How many times does someone have to bury something, really?!?!
June 22, 2011 at 9:15 am
You might want to remove the PET SEMATARY sign if you want to cut down on the digging up.
June 21, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Watch out Jello might steal your little story to make into their next commercial, except they’d be heating her pudding instead of her candy.
June 21, 2011 at 11:19 pm
On the bright side this poor thing was in a plastic egg and not a chocolate egg.
Other people have said on here before that a given object is the Worst Thing Ever and that they can’t conceive of anything more appalling. This is my turn.
June 22, 2011 at 11:07 am
I took one look at this and my jaw dropped. Then, as I scrolled further down the page, I started screaming, “OH MY NON-EXISTANT GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD MAKE A GOOD EASTER GIFT?!”
Then, I started hoping it would NEVER come back to life. Because the last thing we need are zombie ducklings. Christ.
June 22, 2011 at 11:21 am
poor Carol, I hope she is getting the help she needs.
that is wrong on so many levels
unless her parents were taxidermists, then it would all make total sense.
June 22, 2011 at 5:32 pm
The scenario as it plays out in my head:
Ill advised baby duckling given for easter gift unsurprisingly dies. Heartbroken child wants duckling funeral, and a handy plastic egg is put into service for a coffin. Duckling’s name (or child’s) is written on the egg and it is laid to rest beneath the earth. Sometime later Rover comes along and digs up the duckling, at which point Mom surreptitiously inters duckling in the garbage. Local trash picker finds the egg and the next thing you know it is a Treasured Heirloom for sale in the internet.
June 23, 2011 at 9:37 am
These were actually not uncommon at Easter back in the fifties. Aw the glorious Eisenhower years. Yes, I got one, at least once for Easter. My mother told me not to handle it. Yes, I am old.
June 23, 2011 at 10:03 am
My, people DID put taxidermy ducklings in eggs as presents back in the day. How odd! Here’s one in better condition:
June 23, 2011 at 11:06 am
Why a duck?
http://youtu.be/ECODePT6VHM
June 23, 2011 at 11:12 am
You should see the magic look in the children’s eyes on Easter morning when these cute little guys are resurrected from the dead.
June 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm
THINGS YOU CAN’T UNSEE FTW