At first, I thought you meant “the ass prints of chicks” (with chicks meaning adorable baby chickens). I pictured someone dipping baby chicks’ butts in paint & painting with them.
That was my first thought-this looks exactly like the sort of ‘art’ my sons used to bring home from preschool. Which I kept, of course, because you really can’t expect that much from a two-year-old
Woo hoo! I’m off to the attic to make me a fortune!
I think I have mentioned this before but my high school art teacher did that with a few of my projects that she gave me C’s on.
And now she sells collage artwork at some frufru gallery in Madrid, NM.
FTR – some of my projects were collage. She is quoted as saying “All you are doing is gluing magazine and newspapaer clippings down to paper. How is this artisitc and where is there creativity?”
She should really give proper credit to the real artist. I’m sure his or her parents would appreciate it and should get at least a percentage of the profits, dontcha think?
I think it’s a hand. I don’t understand the colour choice, but I do see tear streaks…someone wasn’t invited to a birthday party at the roller rink. I really see the pain in this piece.
When we dye easter eggs, the tee-shirt rag used to wipe down the dye looks JUST LIKE THIS by the time we get done.
1) Get easter egg dyed rags
2) Stretch on frame with my artistic ability.
3) Profit!
http://keithboadwee.com/artwork/645131_Purple_Squirt.html – well if squirting paint out your arse makes you a teacher at a couple of art institutions then anything is possible. As long as the kids gets the colour on the paper everyone is happy.
I am NOT clicking but will take your word for it. Given the current Special Snowflake theory of education, in elementary school I think that the kids pass as long as they do not eat the paint or spread it on each other.
For those afraid, it is bizarre but not gross. A singing toilet, with arms, holding a martini and a cigarette. Very, very odd but, sadly, better than many of the “artist’s” other works.
I can just see it now… “Okay class, everyone needs to paint at least three more pictures before recess. Teacher’s got a big weekend planned and needs some moola!”
Oh, I know this game! This is where each kid gets one color of paint or one pencil and the leader passes around a sheet of paper and everybody gets 10 seconds to add to the “work of art.” It’s done when everyone has a turn.
Saves money on supplies and can be done in the dark, too.
It’s paintings like these that give me hope for the illustrations I’m making for a children’s book my husband wrote. At least my stuff actually LOOKS like what I’m trying to paint….
It’s kind of like when I watch Hoarders and Supernanny to make myself feel better about my housekeeping and parenting skills…
YES! It’s Totally about the Pope! Well, actually, partially…mostly about the Catholic repression of women, and the Knights Templar total disregard of the environment…I mean, that’s so obvious, right?
why would I pay $70.00 for something that my three year old nephew makes me every day?
this chick is part of the reason why art is now bullshit. art/painting used to be a talent, something rare and cherished. those who could recreate beautiful realistic scenes were praised, and looked up to.
now some psycho scribbles on a piece of paper and calls it “art”. or she took credit for a three year old’s project. either way it’s pretty low. and people who buy this crap are tools, and are supporting this downwards spiral.
Reminds me of the Murphy Brown episode where, to prove a point about art critics, Murphy got one of her son’s drawings added to a gallery showing that was to be reviewed by two famous critics. One of the critics went for it, spewing all this BS about it being simple and primal and whatnot. The other started trashing it. So they started arguing about how she’d never appreciated the early works of so and so, and he’d… and so on. Then someone from across the room bought it, sight unseen, figuring that if two such famous critics could argue so heatedly about it, it must be worth something.
Is it a Koala that mooshed itself with a polar bear that was half elephant and then elephant tried to get some new eyeglasses but the misty ghost with five thumbs stole the glasses and is running off into the darkness of utter doom but eventually got lost while there was a thunder storm with blue lazer beam lightning rods and then the elephant-koala-polar hybrid realized it had a third eye that could float on its own?
I only like this one because I think that’s a penis between legs at the bottom of the picture… but I’m working on 2 hours sleep which is like being drunk so I could be wrong…
I see…the Wicked Witch of the West standing next to Genie from “I Dream of Genie”. And for some reason, Genie is holding an umbrella. I’m not sure exactly what the artist means by this, but I think it has something to do with vaginas.
You would think that if she was an art major and now teaches art she would understand the difference between abstract and nonrepresentational. Because there is a difference.
Aside from the fact that she’s a supposedly trained artist, knowingly doing childish daubing – I also don’t trust anyone who refers to themselves in third person in their profile. ‘Artists’ seem to do that a lot – are they trying to make it sound like they are so busy that their agent runs their shop for them??
I think it’s false modesty and a desire to sound like a press release, combined with that paranoia about using “I” in written text that infects so many people in high school.
My mother has one of those…it is truly amazing, and beautiful. When we tell people an elephant painted it, they don’t believe us. (We are famous for being horrible liars)
Am I the only one who never noticed that those “notes” in the title picture change every time?!
Now I’m gonna have to go back and look at all the ones from months past!
It needs painted macaroni noodles. Some splooge wouldn’t hurt too, but only if it’s subsequently coated in multi-colored glitter. I’m disappointed that she didn’t use any body parts for that special squish.
Seriously. I’ve seen some dumb shit pass as art before, but this… THIS his beyond ridiculous. I mean if you’re going to paint crap like this and try to pass it off as artwork you could at least have some ass backwards description. Like how this painting defines man’s idealism of the divide between dreams and nightmares with the dreams being the colorful warm areas that are closer to ones reach. While the top which is further from us is where one wishes the nightmares could be barricaded away from us by the sweet dreams.
Ya… now I need to go find an artist to pay me to make shit like that up.
As a parent I can only guess what kind of discussion goes on with this one.
“Oooooh, look at the great rabbit! You did such a good job!”
“It isn’t a rabbit, mommy. Can’t you tell what it is?”
“I was just playing sweetheart, I can see its a fish.”
“Mommy, that’s not a fish either.”
“Oh, there is a pretty blue butterfly! It must be a bush with a butterfly!”
“Mom, that’s not a butterfly.”
“Is it a clown? Its really colourful, just like a clown. I love your clown drawing.”
“MOM, that is NOT a clown. Don’t you know what it is?”
“Sweetheart, why don’t you tell me what you painted?”
“MOTHER, you don’t GET IT!!! Screw you! I’m gonna sell it on Etsy & no one will dare say anything bad about it!” – Child stomps off, a tantrum throwing 30ish child is never a pretty sight.
But the child went to Prat and studied Educational Leadership (code words for Edu-twaddle) at American Intercontinental University. Hmm, do notice that she “studied” at these places, no mention of any degree.
People, people, you’re not looking with your ‘soul eyes’. Clearly the greens and yellows are Earth, yearning to bloom, while the blue scribbles are Man’s futile attempts to map, and so control the earth. The Pope’s hat goes without saying (just saying)and there, right in the ‘heart’ of the ‘piece’….VAGINA!!! I can’t believe it’s still available!
Just waking up and eye bleary so read as Man’s flute – must be thinking of the gray picture. You do write a wonderful description ALMOST makes me want to buy it:)
You know, I went to one of those schools that don’t have letter grades. We may not have given something like this an F, but we sure would have applied some expressive adjectives to it, ones like “sophomoric,” “execrable,” and “more sucky than a bag full of suck.”
I go to an art school that doesn’t give out letter grades for studio work. This is EXACTLY the kind of work you get, and you have to learn to tune it out, for your own sanity.
June 19, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I think ass print chicks art is more better than this.
June 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm
At least if she painted with her boobs she’ll get the kid’s attention.
June 19, 2011 at 10:07 pm
At first, I thought you meant “the ass prints of chicks” (with chicks meaning adorable baby chickens). I pictured someone dipping baby chicks’ butts in paint & painting with them.
June 19, 2011 at 10:46 pm
I think that would likely produce an adorable painting…
Especially if I loaded up on beer first…
June 19, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Looks like she stole one of her student’s “artwork” and is selling it herself.
June 19, 2011 at 5:58 pm
That was my first thought-this looks exactly like the sort of ‘art’ my sons used to bring home from preschool. Which I kept, of course, because you really can’t expect that much from a two-year-old
Woo hoo! I’m off to the attic to make me a fortune!
June 19, 2011 at 7:19 pm
I think I have mentioned this before but my high school art teacher did that with a few of my projects that she gave me C’s on.
And now she sells collage artwork at some frufru gallery in Madrid, NM.
FTR – some of my projects were collage. She is quoted as saying “All you are doing is gluing magazine and newspapaer clippings down to paper. How is this artisitc and where is there creativity?”
June 20, 2011 at 7:36 am
Yeah, exactly. If she got a position as an art teacher, at least they put her at the right grade level.
(And hey, maybe the kids can teach her a thing or two…)
June 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm
She should really give proper credit to the real artist. I’m sure his or her parents would appreciate it and should get at least a percentage of the profits, dontcha think?
June 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm
It’s North Philly. They assign grades based on behavior.
Also, it REALLY looks like someone is new to watercolor.
June 20, 2011 at 8:36 am
I went to college in North Philly. The neighborhood needs all the good art it can get.
June 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Maybe it’s one of those ass art paintings.
June 19, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Did it say she went to Pratt or IS a pratt?
June 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm
Well, it does look like ass…
June 19, 2011 at 4:38 pm
This is the sort of picture that is stuck to the refrigerators of the parents of three-year-olds everywhere.
June 19, 2011 at 4:39 pm
My kleenex looks like this when cold and flu season hits.
June 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I think it’s a hand. I don’t understand the colour choice, but I do see tear streaks…someone wasn’t invited to a birthday party at the roller rink. I really see the pain in this piece.
June 20, 2011 at 7:44 pm
The color choice invokes a circular notion of the universality of human suffering, and the artist plainly needs a nap.
June 22, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I think it’s a clown’s vag…
June 19, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Looks like it was painted with a Popsicle!
June 19, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Excuse me as I sob to myself. I keep seeing all those potentially viable young minds turning into a bakery full of cupcakes.
June 19, 2011 at 4:41 pm
This looks like the “rough work” page I use when I paint, so I can test the colour/blending before I actually paint on my real canvas.
June 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I am looking at the paper I use when working with pastels….strong resemnblance and I could use that 75.00.
June 19, 2011 at 9:39 pm
When we dye easter eggs, the tee-shirt rag used to wipe down the dye looks JUST LIKE THIS by the time we get done.
1) Get easter egg dyed rags
2) Stretch on frame with my artistic ability.
3) Profit!
June 19, 2011 at 4:56 pm
More more more said the baby (title of a children’s book, sorry….it just came to mind for some reason)…
June 19, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Now that looks just like Lady Gaga.
June 19, 2011 at 6:01 pm
I laughed…then looked again and realized you’re not really joking.
June 19, 2011 at 4:42 pm
http://keithboadwee.com/artwork/645131_Purple_Squirt.html – well if squirting paint out your arse makes you a teacher at a couple of art institutions then anything is possible. As long as the kids gets the colour on the paper everyone is happy.
June 19, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Don’t click, for Dog’s sake, don’t click!
June 19, 2011 at 4:59 pm
But dogs can click. Dogs would be kind of impressed, actually.
June 19, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Dog’s can’t click. No opposable thumbs. And they bark like crazy when they hear “You’ve got mail!”
June 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Tell my dog that! She is the master of opening random computer programs and changing channels with the TV remote
June 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm
I am NOT clicking but will take your word for it. Given the current Special Snowflake theory of education, in elementary school I think that the kids pass as long as they do not eat the paint or spread it on each other.
June 19, 2011 at 5:06 pm
SFW link:
This picture is shitty.
June 19, 2011 at 8:36 pm
For those afraid, it is bizarre but not gross. A singing toilet, with arms, holding a martini and a cigarette. Very, very odd but, sadly, better than many of the “artist’s” other works.
June 20, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I don’t know why people constantly reference that picture, when this one is so much more indicative of his work;
June 20, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Well, that didn’t work out well.
June 20, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Good Lord.
June 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I see…bunny ears?
June 19, 2011 at 4:56 pm
A sleeping butterfly!
June 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm
That’s it! This lady used to paint Rorschach tests and still has not transitioned.
June 19, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I can just see it now… “Okay class, everyone needs to paint at least three more pictures before recess. Teacher’s got a big weekend planned and needs some moola!”
June 19, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Oh, I know this game! This is where each kid gets one color of paint or one pencil and the leader passes around a sheet of paper and everybody gets 10 seconds to add to the “work of art.” It’s done when everyone has a turn.
Saves money on supplies and can be done in the dark, too.
June 19, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Art by Committee at its worst.
June 19, 2011 at 4:50 pm
But, but, it is on “140 lb cold press watercolor paper.” It has to be art, right?
June 19, 2011 at 4:50 pm
It’s paintings like these that give me hope for the illustrations I’m making for a children’s book my husband wrote. At least my stuff actually LOOKS like what I’m trying to paint….
It’s kind of like when I watch Hoarders and Supernanny to make myself feel better about my housekeeping and parenting skills…
June 19, 2011 at 5:00 pm
It looks like what it is? How avant garde.
June 20, 2011 at 7:53 am
Yeah, sadly you need to make it look like a bear if there’s a bear in the story. Damn kids, they’re so demanding!
June 19, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Sadly that’s where I went to grad school. This art + that fact = not a shock. Too bad you can’t get your money back on education. *le sigh*
June 19, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Time for Regretsy Math!
Based on this analysis, I want to rename the piece “Holy Shit.”
June 19, 2011 at 4:57 pm
It’s either this, or it is a painting of the last thing that happened to the Partridge Family’s bus.
June 19, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Hmm, might be on to something here.
June 19, 2011 at 5:09 pm
I think its a bunch of kirby’s in a line wearing pope hats
June 19, 2011 at 7:28 pm
YES! It’s Totally about the Pope! Well, actually, partially…mostly about the Catholic repression of women, and the Knights Templar total disregard of the environment…I mean, that’s so obvious, right?
June 20, 2011 at 7:41 am
The picture is perfect. The caption puts it over the top. Well done.
June 19, 2011 at 4:56 pm
why would I pay $70.00 for something that my three year old nephew makes me every day?
this chick is part of the reason why art is now bullshit. art/painting used to be a talent, something rare and cherished. those who could recreate beautiful realistic scenes were praised, and looked up to.
now some psycho scribbles on a piece of paper and calls it “art”. or she took credit for a three year old’s project. either way it’s pretty low. and people who buy this crap are tools, and are supporting this downwards spiral.
June 19, 2011 at 4:58 pm
this would be a great cover for a book on Toddler Art..Your Baby Can Draw…
June 19, 2011 at 5:00 pm
the frightening thing is, these paintings all sold … however, it may be that her husband, cat or family members bought them.
Feedback for her stuff
June 19, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Scary! Maybe some of her past student who don’t know any better? The one who calls the picture “beautiful” is particularly sad.
June 20, 2011 at 7:47 am
Reminds me of the Murphy Brown episode where, to prove a point about art critics, Murphy got one of her son’s drawings added to a gallery showing that was to be reviewed by two famous critics. One of the critics went for it, spewing all this BS about it being simple and primal and whatnot. The other started trashing it. So they started arguing about how she’d never appreciated the early works of so and so, and he’d… and so on. Then someone from across the room bought it, sight unseen, figuring that if two such famous critics could argue so heatedly about it, it must be worth something.
June 19, 2011 at 5:01 pm
I am having a hard time deciding my fav….but this might be it…
June 19, 2011 at 5:09 pm
At least its smiling
June 19, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Wow! It’s…um…..intriguing!
Is it a Koala that mooshed itself with a polar bear that was half elephant and then elephant tried to get some new eyeglasses but the misty ghost with five thumbs stole the glasses and is running off into the darkness of utter doom but eventually got lost while there was a thunder storm with blue lazer beam lightning rods and then the elephant-koala-polar hybrid realized it had a third eye that could float on its own?
If so, then it totally gets me 8D
June 20, 2011 at 7:48 am
Much better than I could come up with. I thought it was a blurry picture of gray cobblestones.
June 19, 2011 at 6:25 pm
I only like this one because I think that’s a penis between legs at the bottom of the picture… but I’m working on 2 hours sleep which is like being drunk so I could be wrong…
June 19, 2011 at 8:51 pm
I see a dinosaur with an owl smiling. I wish iPad had photoshop. Because what I see has me laughing…and the wine wore off maybe an hour ago.
June 20, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I see udders. And dead people.
June 20, 2011 at 8:17 am
I see…the Wicked Witch of the West standing next to Genie from “I Dream of Genie”. And for some reason, Genie is holding an umbrella. I’m not sure exactly what the artist means by this, but I think it has something to do with vaginas.
June 19, 2011 at 5:25 pm
You would think that if she was an art major and now teaches art she would understand the difference between abstract and nonrepresentational. Because there is a difference.
June 19, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Curious about what grades specifically she teaches at elementary.
I’ll feel mighty bad for any of those kids who are in grade five and higher.
June 19, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Aside from the fact that she’s a supposedly trained artist, knowingly doing childish daubing – I also don’t trust anyone who refers to themselves in third person in their profile. ‘Artists’ seem to do that a lot – are they trying to make it sound like they are so busy that their agent runs their shop for them??
June 19, 2011 at 5:48 pm
I think it’s false modesty and a desire to sound like a press release, combined with that paranoia about using “I” in written text that infects so many people in high school.
June 20, 2011 at 7:50 am
It’s what you’re supposed to do in a bio. I had to do the same thing when writing up a blurb to show up in the playbill of my college theater group.
June 19, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Those who cannot do, teach. And those who cannot teach, teach gym class.
June 20, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I first saw that movie when I showed it to my tenth graders after their exam, and I lolled so hard at that line
June 19, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Anyone remember the elephant in the zoo whose trainers taught her to paint by giving her buckets of pain and a canvas? Her stuff was better than this.
June 19, 2011 at 7:15 pm
My mother has one of those…it is truly amazing, and beautiful. When we tell people an elephant painted it, they don’t believe us. (We are famous for being horrible liars)
June 19, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Am I the only one who never noticed that those “notes” in the title picture change every time?!
Now I’m gonna have to go back and look at all the ones from months past!
June 19, 2011 at 8:08 pm
shit, you’re right, I never noticed that before. funny
June 19, 2011 at 6:40 pm
It needs painted macaroni noodles. Some splooge wouldn’t hurt too, but only if it’s subsequently coated in multi-colored glitter. I’m disappointed that she didn’t use any body parts for that special squish.
June 19, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Glitter, glitter! It saves all.
June 19, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Since I’ve spent the last two days looking at “the worst of DeviantART”-themed blogs on Tumblr, this is a actually kind of a palate-cleanser.
June 19, 2011 at 9:55 pm
Ooh. Is there a really good blog? I mean, bad one?
June 20, 2011 at 4:15 pm
sociallyunacceptableart is the best one. There’s also fuckyeahterribleart. And dumbdeviantart, which is just dA commments, but they’re hilarious.
June 19, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Seriously. I’ve seen some dumb shit pass as art before, but this… THIS his beyond ridiculous. I mean if you’re going to paint crap like this and try to pass it off as artwork you could at least have some ass backwards description. Like how this painting defines man’s idealism of the divide between dreams and nightmares with the dreams being the colorful warm areas that are closer to ones reach. While the top which is further from us is where one wishes the nightmares could be barricaded away from us by the sweet dreams.
Ya… now I need to go find an artist to pay me to make shit like that up.
June 19, 2011 at 8:00 pm
the only thing I learned in art school was how to put up with people bullshitting their way through self-critiques. =|
June 20, 2011 at 2:32 am
You should offer it as a service on etsy. Based on that example I’d be tempted…
June 19, 2011 at 7:08 pm
As a parent I can only guess what kind of discussion goes on with this one.
“Oooooh, look at the great rabbit! You did such a good job!”
“It isn’t a rabbit, mommy. Can’t you tell what it is?”
“I was just playing sweetheart, I can see its a fish.”
“Mommy, that’s not a fish either.”
“Oh, there is a pretty blue butterfly! It must be a bush with a butterfly!”
“Mom, that’s not a butterfly.”
“Is it a clown? Its really colourful, just like a clown. I love your clown drawing.”
“MOM, that is NOT a clown. Don’t you know what it is?”
“Sweetheart, why don’t you tell me what you painted?”
“MOTHER, you don’t GET IT!!! Screw you! I’m gonna sell it on Etsy & no one will dare say anything bad about it!” – Child stomps off, a tantrum throwing 30ish child is never a pretty sight.
June 19, 2011 at 8:46 pm
But the child went to Prat and studied Educational Leadership (code words for Edu-twaddle) at American Intercontinental University. Hmm, do notice that she “studied” at these places, no mention of any degree.
June 19, 2011 at 7:13 pm
People, people, you’re not looking with your ‘soul eyes’. Clearly the greens and yellows are Earth, yearning to bloom, while the blue scribbles are Man’s futile attempts to map, and so control the earth. The Pope’s hat goes without saying (just saying)and there, right in the ‘heart’ of the ‘piece’….VAGINA!!! I can’t believe it’s still available!
June 20, 2011 at 5:46 am
Just waking up and eye bleary so read as Man’s flute – must be thinking of the gray picture. You do write a wonderful description ALMOST makes me want to buy it:)
June 19, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I think her closest association with painting was when she was eating the chips peeling off the wall next to her crib.
June 19, 2011 at 7:53 pm
I felt inspired by this fine artwork to make a club fuckery logo
June 19, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Wow! Better than all the Etsy offerings that we’ve seen today. Many thumbs up.
June 19, 2011 at 9:44 pm
You spelled “lyfe” wrong.
June 20, 2011 at 2:16 am
ohhhh, i’ll fyx that!
June 19, 2011 at 9:13 pm
“I’m going to guess this is one of those schools where they don’t give out letter grades.”
I’m guessing the students require protective head gear for their own personal safety.
June 20, 2011 at 5:28 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw the “Pratt” joke.
June 20, 2011 at 8:18 am
How did she even get into Pratt? Or graduate from Pratt? I’m pretty sure that’s like, one of the “ivy leagues” of art schools.
June 20, 2011 at 9:18 am
She never did say “graduated.” Just that she studied painting and art. Maybe she used their library and studied their books?
June 20, 2011 at 9:15 am
You know, I went to one of those schools that don’t have letter grades. We may not have given something like this an F, but we sure would have applied some expressive adjectives to it, ones like “sophomoric,” “execrable,” and “more sucky than a bag full of suck.”
June 20, 2011 at 3:13 pm
I go to an art school that doesn’t give out letter grades for studio work. This is EXACTLY the kind of work you get, and you have to learn to tune it out, for your own sanity.
June 20, 2011 at 9:43 am
It just seemed to be lacking that something special. Perhaps this?
July 8, 2011 at 7:41 pm
I went to Pratt, too. They love this kind of shit there.