Mollusk at Ground Zero
Sorry, I already bought it.
But these are still available!
Sorry, I already bought it.
But these are still available!
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June 16, 2011 at 9:34 am
YOU bought it? I’m so shellish.
June 16, 2011 at 9:35 am
i think SHE was the shellfish one.
June 16, 2011 at 10:36 am
June 16, 2011 at 10:40 am
here is a blank for that if anyone wants to save the time of doing such an awesome clean up job themselves*
http://i1221.photobucket.com/albums/dd461/mildandlazy/oysterblank.jpg
*totally substandard
June 16, 2011 at 10:52 am
WIN!!
June 16, 2011 at 11:59 am
I really, really want this…
June 16, 2011 at 1:19 pm
My dad has an old t-shirt that says “Frankly Scallop I don’t give a clam!”
June 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm
June 16, 2011 at 9:47 am
I just don’t have the mussel to put up with these puns today.
June 16, 2011 at 9:52 am
I suppose I could clam up on them, but it’d be at your own pearl.
June 16, 2011 at 9:58 am
i didnt see yours when i posted, damn I must remember to refresh before typing.
June 16, 2011 at 9:57 am
I cant sea shelling out the clams for this pearl of a treasure.
June 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:30 am
I learned it (in diving camp eons ago) as:
“Put your hand in a crack
and you won’t get it back
That’s a Moray”
June 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Who lives in the reef
with the big pointy teeth?
That’s a moray.
June 16, 2011 at 1:55 pm
The version I learned is:
When you’re swimming on by
Something slips by your thigh
That’s a moray
June 16, 2011 at 5:10 pm
All should be sung with plenty of fEELing.
June 16, 2011 at 10:08 am
Yeah, Helen shelled out two fins for it.
(OK, for anyone under the age of 45, a “fin” is oldey-time slang for a $5 bill. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!!)
June 16, 2011 at 10:41 am
C’mon up here on the porch, Mugsy, I’s gots a rockin’ chair waitin’ for you. I even got an extra cane so we can shake our canes at them there whippersnappers!
You bring the roomatiz medicine though. I’m a-runnin’ low.
June 16, 2011 at 12:59 pm
I’m grateful to have you, Patty. Kids these days can’t appreciate nothing. I’ll be there with the 40 proof roomatiz medicine. That’s all that’s'a helpin’ me these days. Want vanilla-flavored or current-flavored?
June 16, 2011 at 4:01 pm
I knew that. But only from crossword puzzles.
June 16, 2011 at 10:13 am
Oy, stiring up the pun pot are we? At least it isn’t pictures of big cockles. I’ve had enough of those for a while and might have gotten get crabby and flounced (just kidding, wink(le), wink(le)).
June 16, 2011 at 10:24 am
Alice, I imagine your post being read by a sweet Irish grandmother. I don’t know why.
June 16, 2011 at 11:34 am
Was her name Molly Malone?
June 16, 2011 at 9:36 am
Dammit, and I had plans to put that in my bathroom (the only place one may tastefully decorate with sea shells, by fiat of the Interior Decorators’ Guild).
If only I had the skills to replicate that masterpiece on my own….
June 16, 2011 at 9:37 am
This NAPKIN has the skills to replicate that masterpiece on it’s own… I think you can do it!
June 16, 2011 at 10:55 am
Shells for the bathroom? Damn. I re-did my whole bathroom in an “Osama is Dead!” motif. THAT is why I wish I’d have seen this first, not because it’s a shell.
June 16, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Interior Decorators’ Guild be damned. I put seashells everywhere.
June 16, 2011 at 9:36 am
Is it made of muslim?
June 16, 2011 at 9:38 am
Damn, we killed a 9 year old?
June 16, 2011 at 10:57 am
Either that or an excessively clever punster using the poor grammar as a play on “imam”. Perhaps I imagine too much credit due?
June 16, 2011 at 11:32 am
He had a lot of facial hair for a 9 year old though…
June 16, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Haven’t you ever seen the movie Jack? In Jack years he would be like 45…
June 16, 2011 at 11:55 am
that was my first thought too–but then, who has the time to go wikipedia and look up his real birthdate, when everybody already knows about 9/11?
June 16, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Nine years of hard living from the looks of it.
June 16, 2011 at 9:38 am
I just went and looked at the First Family shell and it literally made me burst out laughing.
June 16, 2011 at 9:40 am
I should have looked at the Cat Shell before I posted a comment– I laughed so hard at that I cried.
June 16, 2011 at 10:18 am
Someone needs to commission one with Level 2 Cat on it!
June 16, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Screw that, I require a level 4 cat on mine!
But then again, I’m fancy!
June 16, 2011 at 3:23 pm
Hubby and I cracked up at the kitty one, which happens to look like our most vociferous cat.
June 16, 2011 at 10:16 am
Poor Obama got warped in the curve. Must be a Republican oyster, or maybe a muslin one.
June 16, 2011 at 10:58 am
What about that warped baby?
June 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
I think the Jesus one had me laughing the most. I thought Aphrodite was the god born from a mollusk?
June 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm
He has an AWESOME Frankenstein’s monster head.
June 16, 2011 at 9:55 pm
You know, they’re both about love…
June 16, 2011 at 12:00 pm
I just bought it! I love these. I think it will make a swell Christmas gift or maybe I’ll just keep it with my seashells I collected on vacation.
June 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I remember collecting seashells as a child, walking along the beach. It was always so much fun to put them up to my ear and “hear” the ocean…now if the seller could equip these with little sound buttons, that would redefine “fun.”
June 16, 2011 at 3:26 pm
A TALKING Jesus shell? You have really got something there! *Hurriedly clearing a space on the mantel.*
June 16, 2011 at 9:39 am
I’m am so jealous! I’m am so mad I couldn’t not have this! I’m am unable to correctly use conjunctions. I’m am sorry.
June 16, 2011 at 3:55 pm
You apparently are having a bit of trouble with contractions, also…
June 16, 2011 at 9:41 am
The cat ones have some ominously ambiguous phrases. Still trying to figure out what “Come home mama” means.
Is the cat named mama? Am I the mama? Is the cat dead? Is my dead cat calling me into heaven?
…I’m a little freaked out now.
June 16, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I figured maybe it was to have on your desk at work (which means yes, you’re the mama) to remind you of what you’re working for. At least, that was less depressing than the alternatives, but only just barely.
June 17, 2011 at 9:23 am
Just what I need–something to put on my desk so I can look at it and feel guilty.
June 16, 2011 at 9:42 am
OOooOooOOoOhhhh!
A message from BEYOND THE GRAVE!!!
June 16, 2011 at 9:43 am
My fave is the cherry (“cherrie”) charm oyster shell…I know there’s a great joke in there somewhere ;D
June 16, 2011 at 10:52 am
I just love the joke in the fact that these are CLAM shells with PEARLS at the top. If that’s not yonic, I don’t know what is.
June 16, 2011 at 11:15 am
I just love that you know the word ‘yonic.’ Between this and the William Carlos Williams parody yesterday, I’m starting to think we’re all smarter than we let on.
June 16, 2011 at 11:22 am
What WCW parody? Links please!
Funny, today I’ve been going on about what fucking morons make up the majority of the population.
June 16, 2011 at 2:24 pm
OH I just looked back, I guess I missed the poetry post. D:
June 16, 2011 at 9:44 am
It’s so sad that they tortured him by cutting off his fingertips before killing him.
June 16, 2011 at 6:52 pm
i’m not broken up about it, but i’m a sadistic bitch.
June 16, 2011 at 9:45 am
I’ll bet that polymer coating won’t stand up to a flamethrower.
June 16, 2011 at 10:06 am
Wanna try? I’ll bring the shell, you the flamethrower. OK?
June 16, 2011 at 9:47 am
It’s appropriate for him *hmmms the tune from Under the Sea* now that song will be stuck in my head all day…damn!
June 16, 2011 at 10:53 am
That took me a minute, not gonna lie.
But now I see what you did there.
June 16, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Sadly, the only song i can remember from the Little Mermaid is “Kiss the Girl” which…is just really disturbing in this context, and I think I’m going to go lie down with a cloth over my eyes for a while.
June 16, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Your are too subtle for the likes of us…I didn’t get the joke at first, but that song started going through my head and I lost track. Seriously, I was imagining a flamboyant lobster dancing across a Broadway stage with a chorus line behind him. No? Oh, well, I guess it’s just me.
Thanks for the laughs (I’ll take the credit/blame for the imagery).
Yours truly,
A fellow fluffy
June 16, 2011 at 3:57 pm
You’re incorregible. And now *I* have the dam*ed song going through my head. *grrrr*
June 16, 2011 at 9:47 am
i wish i was home with my photoshop stuff.. I want a Jesus on the half shell sooo bad!
June 16, 2011 at 9:49 am
You could make a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one too. “Heroes in a half shell. Turtle Power!”
June 16, 2011 at 9:55 am
How about Mary on the Half Shell? That’s what we in Brooklyn and Queens (and elsewhere, I’m positive) the large statue of Mary set on a base surrounded by a cement shell, usually painted blue inside. Now that I moved to an apartment in a different neighborhood (I used to live in a 2-family house in a neighborhood of 1- and 2-family houses), I kinda miss the old gal.
June 16, 2011 at 10:43 am
did some one cross Mary with the Birth of Venus?
June 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm
You’d think, but no. See the comments above this one. They’ve explained it well.
I read your post earlier and it’s been in my head for hours…imagining Mary in a sheer gown, showing a lot of leg…that must have been in the Episcopalian schools. In Catholic school, she was showing slightly more skin than if she wore a burka.
June 16, 2011 at 1:48 pm
OK, see the comments BELOW this one. I thought they were all replying to you.
June 16, 2011 at 10:54 am
They are called, “Bathtub Mary’s” in my neck of the (Upstate, Western NY) woods. Gotta love old Italian Catholics.
June 16, 2011 at 4:08 pm
I’ve heard them called that here, and I think I’ve heard the half-shell, too. Except it’s mostly Portuguese Catholics over here (RI).
June 16, 2011 at 10:56 am
It kinda looks like a small bathtub.
June 16, 2011 at 12:05 pm
It’s particularly disturbing in the yard that also has random fish ornaments. Is she on a boat? underwater? WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE SUBTEXT??
June 16, 2011 at 11:42 am
Kinda reminds me of the second chorus of “Plastic Jesus”…
Git yerself a sweet Madonna,
Dressed in rhinestones, settin’ on a
Pedestal of abalone shell.
Goin’ 90, I ain’t scary,
‘Cuz I got the Virgin Mary
Assurin’ me that I won’t go to hell!
June 16, 2011 at 11:46 am
Or if people didn’t have the money for the shell, they’d bury the faucet end of those old curved bathtubs in the ground and use the part above ground as the grotto. Some families play license plates on car rides; mom & I counted “Mary in the Bathtubs.”
June 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I was going to look for a picture of that, but then I realized googling “Mary in a bathtub” isn’t the smartest thing to do at work.
June 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Did you and your mom score extra points if there was one with a spotlight on it?
June 16, 2011 at 5:02 pm
When I first started going to my (now ex) in-laws’ house, I amused myself by playing “spot the crucifix” when I went into a new room.
June 16, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Smart move Angel drawers; Didn’t get exra point but did get extra laughs from plastic flowers – the uglier, the better. Queenofsnark, watch out for the sacred heart, very bloody & creepy
June 16, 2011 at 10:15 am
I’d buy a Towel Mike shell if it didn’t have the ink pen letters scrawled on it.
June 16, 2011 at 9:49 am
I think HK might need adult supervision while on her pain meds–or maybe an intervention?
June 16, 2011 at 9:52 am
Did you shell out the full 10 clams for that baby?
June 16, 2011 at 9:52 am
Will she give me Sharpie calligraphy lessons if I convo her?
June 16, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Step 1: Leave Sharpie lid off for at least 24 hours so it’s good and scratchy.
Step 2: Drink heavily, if that isn’t your permanent state.
Step 3: Grasp pen awkwardly in your non-dominant hand and scribble your poorly-worded sentiment as quickly as possible.
Step 4: Profit!
June 16, 2011 at 9:56 am
The first family gets to be on a seaHELL
June 16, 2011 at 10:05 am
Anthony Weiner’s photo belongs on a seaHELL—and I don’t mean that creepy one where he’s wearing a bra and leotard and striking a girly pose).
(That was SO not how I wanted to see when I innocently opened the newspaper. *SHUDDER*)
June 16, 2011 at 10:06 am
not just any seahell, a seahell craft.
June 16, 2011 at 10:35 am
Does that mean a shell that she “made happen in her artistic ability?”
June 16, 2011 at 10:58 am
it can go on one of these: http://www-csgc.ucsd.edu/NEWSROOM/NEWSRELEASES/RESOURCES/RazorClams.jpg
June 16, 2011 at 2:09 pm
June 16, 2011 at 9:58 am
Maybe I’ve become numbed to Etsyiana, but I kind of like the William & Kate one, EXCEPT FOR THE SHARPIE WRITING. Hell, if I’m going to buy it, I already know who they are. I don’t need their names and the wedding date poorly written on the sides.
If the seller had used a sparkly gold marker, however, I could forgive her.
Wait, there’s one with a PHOTO of Jesus. Where the hell is my PayPal password? I gotta have that one!
June 16, 2011 at 10:00 am
Nix that. I took a closer look. That’s Klingon Jesus. Not my religion.
June 16, 2011 at 10:53 am
Apparently, you can also get penguin Jesus, judging by the other photos in that listing.
June 16, 2011 at 11:58 am
I could deal with some of the pictures on the shells. It is particularly appropriate for Osama, & it might even be an O.K. idea for tree ornaments if you live near the beach. However, the sharpie writing makes it look like it was done by a 6-year-old and to just sit it on a stand to gather dust? A C+ for the idea, an F for the execution.
June 16, 2011 at 9:59 am
The sheller should jack up the prices x10 and lists these as “outsider art” on eBay.
They are kind of weirdly brilliant!
June 16, 2011 at 10:01 am
If you’re into amputees, buy the little boy with his doggie.
June 16, 2011 at 10:07 am
The cat one made me sad. wtf if wrong with me?
June 16, 2011 at 10:55 am
Don’t be too sad. You can see printing on the cat’s head from the opposite side of the page of the magazine page that they took that photo from.
June 16, 2011 at 11:08 am
What’s the weird writing on the cat?
June 16, 2011 at 10:10 am
How are we missing the dates on the bottom here?
9/11/01-5/1/11
Like we were airplane bombed by brand new fresh out of the oven infant baby Osama?
June 16, 2011 at 10:19 am
And as for the end date, I don’t want to nitpick (yes, I do) but it was 5/2/11. It was 5/1/11 in the US.
June 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm
As for your comment, I don’t want to nitpick (yes I do) but, the actual mission went down somewhere in the last week or two of April, it was just announced 05/01 (or 05/02 if you live in the future)
June 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Well everywhere I look, it says he was actually killed on 5/2/11 local time.
June 16, 2011 at 10:15 am
Is it weird that I kind of want to buy a ton of these for all my family for Christmas presents? I have never felt this compulsion for a Regretsy item before.
Except I think I want the Hellephant picture on all of them.
June 16, 2011 at 10:18 am
I hope the stand was included. THAT’S what makes it a one-of-a-kind family heirloom to be passed on for generations. Without the stand, it’s just a picture of Bin Laden glued in a shell.
(If you ever decide to sell it, make sure you do it by the seashore.)
June 16, 2011 at 10:25 am
I just now noticed the derp.
“Bye I’m am dead now!”
It is amazing how the
the brain will gloss
over little mistakes.
June 16, 2011 at 11:18 am
I see what you did there.
June 16, 2011 at 11:28 am
Yes, I was expecting it to be filed under Derp as well as Decor. Derp-cor?
June 16, 2011 at 10:33 am
Interesting pricing on the first family…thing, $50 to anywhere in the US with another item…
June 16, 2011 at 11:00 am
That one is also a “seaHELL”.
June 16, 2011 at 11:06 am
I noticed that. The shipping on all that I looked at was $3.50 and $50.00 with another item.
June 16, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Probably the first seller who doesn’t want to encourage you to buy more than one of the pieces.
June 16, 2011 at 10:45 am
Helen you are his first sale!
June 16, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I’M SO PROUD
June 16, 2011 at 3:58 pm
ha, the store has sold almost everything today!
June 16, 2011 at 8:36 pm
I ordered one too, I hope everyone shows off what they ordered at Regretsy Craft Night!
June 16, 2011 at 10:48 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:48 am
Wow – you took that craftard to school. Best of them all. I’d actually buy this!
June 16, 2011 at 7:04 pm
OK, I usually take thumbs in any direction without comment. But you do realize that I was saying that desingerchick’s post is really good? If you did and meant to thumb the compliment down, fine; just wanted to make sure.
June 16, 2011 at 10:48 am
someone needs to buy this shell:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/75455417/for-your-pet-in-a-oyster-shell
and put level 4 cat in it.
that is all.
June 16, 2011 at 10:49 am
Pure creative genius!!
June 16, 2011 at 10:51 am
Holy Mother of Pearl
June 16, 2011 at 10:52 am
I think I’ll start using “Sweet Jesus in a* Oyster!” in everyday conversation.
*[sic]
June 16, 2011 at 10:54 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:36 am
“Mistresses may be included at extra cost”
June 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
I was going to- but forgot in my haste- to type: “Now remove your pants and get to the choppah!” under the html for the image.
June 16, 2011 at 11:01 am
What a miracle! Someone took a “photograph” of Jesus! :O
June 16, 2011 at 11:48 am
Amazing – he was so camera shy.
June 16, 2011 at 11:01 am
the no smoking shell should be more concave so you can use it as an ironic ashtray.
June 16, 2011 at 11:03 am
I don’t know what is worse, the terrible idea… OR his atrocious handwriting!!!!!
June 16, 2011 at 11:03 am
Wow, this seller has obtained a PHOTOGRAPH of JESUS?! That’s so…Anachronistic!
Aaaaand the picture of the cat has a watermark on it. *sigh*
June 16, 2011 at 11:04 am
Keep clam and carry on!
June 16, 2011 at 11:04 am
Did no one else notice the Creeper Kestrel WATCHING YOU?!
June 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
I like how she gives you a choice – Osama bin Laden. OR! Whatever photo you want! What strange options…
June 16, 2011 at 11:15 am
I like how her name is Tommy Lee Jones…
June 16, 2011 at 12:45 pm
That makes me picture the actor hunched over discarded oyster shells, furiously pasting pictures on them.
June 16, 2011 at 11:21 pm
I have to say, there are a LOT of photos I’d put ahead of Bin Laden’s.
June 16, 2011 at 11:08 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:12 am
FUZZIED EDGES™
June 16, 2011 at 11:30 am
I’ve been suffering from a mild incontinence issue lately so I’m not using a hackneyed internet cliche when I say that this made me laugh until I literally pissed myself.
June 16, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I now have tears running down my face. My husband thinks I am a nutcase.
June 16, 2011 at 8:08 pm
I don’t even get this but
1. No
2. Nooo
3. Noooooo
Never mind… I got it.
June 16, 2011 at 11:10 am
Is it bad that I laughed at “bye! I’m dead now!” ?
June 16, 2011 at 11:11 am
That is the kind of message I would like to leave to my friends and family when I pass. Something loving, something meaingful…
“Bye bye, me is dead now.
Oh, can you make sure the stove is turned off?
ttyl!
23/05/88-15/09/24″
June 16, 2011 at 11:55 am
You gave me a sad. My mother’s voice mail said “Hello. You’ve reached ____ & _____. We’re here in spirit, but not in body. When we’re here in body we’ll get back to you.”
They’re both dead now, and that’s the last recording I have of her voice.
June 16, 2011 at 12:06 pm
Sounds like your mother was cool!
June 16, 2011 at 11:25 am
But can you change the size of the shell?
June 16, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I wonder if you can get it as a separate thing.
June 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
How does one say ‘pure gold’ in Arabic??
June 16, 2011 at 11:30 am
Most shocking is the fact that the seller correctly spelled “heirloom”, despite all the other derp.
June 16, 2011 at 11:32 am
After I just saw the cat-shell version I realized my life has led up to this point. I hope bulk orders are permissible.
June 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
Also, I’m thoroughly confused about the “Pres. Obama is no joke” one in which Osama appears to be on life support. But yet, he’s dead on the other shell. Really, I’m trying to picture this on anyone’s coffee table as a treasured family heirloom.
June 16, 2011 at 11:45 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
Watch out for flying dairy products!
June 16, 2011 at 11:46 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:53 am
I’m pretty sure that I’ll be laughing at this for days, thank you!
June 16, 2011 at 1:46 pm
right there with ya. This is hilarious! Scully is my new hero!
June 16, 2011 at 2:47 pm
I came back to look again and saved it as my desktop so I can giggle like a little girl indefinately
June 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm
This is incredible.
June 16, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I was just wondering “who the hell would buy something that stupid” and you admitted to it, HK.
June 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm
You are my crush of the day. Congratulations.
June 16, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I have a girly crush on you, too, Scully. This was so good that I had to e-mail it to someone, instead of just e-mailing “make sure you read Regretsy today!”
It looks as if Hilary is glaring at Obama, as if it’s his fault!
June 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm
You are a genius.
June 16, 2011 at 1:10 pm
Hey, I’m trying to read this at work. Do you know how hard it was to keep from bursting out laughing at that?
June 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm
HK needs to throw this up on CF post to make sure everyone gets to enjoy its majesty.
June 16, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Since I can’t make the little green check mark go five or six times, lemme just say… this is great.
June 16, 2011 at 7:28 pm
That made me laugh like the dorkiest dork. I’m so glad no one is here to hear it. Picture saved and I’ll treasure it forever and evers.
June 17, 2011 at 11:52 am
Scully, bravo! Nicely done.
June 30, 2011 at 12:09 pm
I was having a crappy day, with cramps and a bad headache, and then I saw this. You just made my day, thank you!
Saving it for the whenever I need a good laugh!
June 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
Here’s how I read that – “buy this one or have a picture of your mother in law put in here”- so my mind went to having the exact same saying – HA!
Household wars, commence!
June 16, 2011 at 11:52 am
June 16, 2011 at 11:53 am
http://www.etsy.com/listing/75910441/oyster-shell-with-a-cross
You know I was actually like, “That necklace would be kinda pretty if you’re catholic and really into seashells” until I noticed the very unfortunate placement of the pearl. There’s no mention of vaginas in the listing, so I’m forced to wonder if the maker is really that clueless.
June 16, 2011 at 11:54 am
June 16, 2011 at 12:16 pm
That’s awesome, but you made the writing too nice and uniform.
June 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
I agree, I did. It takes a special skill to print as awkwardly as our crafter does.
June 16, 2011 at 12:31 pm
I think pineconeman/Tommy/our crafter is an elderly gentleman. His printing looks like that of almost everybody I know in my parent’s generation. They learned precise cursive and always used it, so when they print, it’s an awkward sort of block letter thing- not really their handwriting. That’s the kind of cultural/generational thing I find interesting, like when we stopped saying ‘creme rinse’ and started saying ‘conditioner’. I’m proud to be old!
June 16, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I totally grew up saying creme rinse (I’m 26) and had no idea that wasn’t what most people called it until high school. Thanks for making me fucking weird, parents!! (no really. In all sincerity… thank you)
June 16, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Just today, I was thinking about how my grandparents called green peppers “mangoes”.
June 16, 2011 at 6:54 pm
We stopped?
June 16, 2011 at 1:31 pm
I think cats always write “S” backwards, but that could be an urban legend.
June 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm
@HisOtherEar–scroll down. You’re immortalized on a shell! pearlheartgtr did it with admirable photo skills. You’re 3-D!!
June 16, 2011 at 3:03 pm
LOVE! <3 <3 <3
June 16, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I’m am jealous.
June 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Should have known these would sell out immediately. In the future I’ll have to sit hunched over my computer, spamming f5 in the hopes that something like this shows up again (because searching the internet for wonderful things on my own is silly). I’m sure I can find a way to make it look like “work.”
June 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
…Nevermind, there are about a million other gems on his page.
June 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
I’m not commenting on the seller’s grammar. I just would like to have an heirloom collection of bad asses decoupaged on shells. (Charles Bronson, Wade Garrett, and Travis the Chimp may or may not be part of this collection.)
June 16, 2011 at 12:57 pm
What this guy did to that lady is terrible and I feel bad for her. Still, I would love to have this guy on my side in a barfight.
June 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Sadly, I think I would purchase this.
June 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm
I have got to find something absolutely stupid to make so I can get 50 of this group’s bucks in one day. I will brainstorm about it while I am at the doctor’s office tomorrow getting my earwax cleaned out. That should be a good time to think.
June 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm
You could ask to keep the earwax to use as a crafting medium.
June 16, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Is the earwax shaped like anything in particular? I’m looking to complete my ‘earwax Presidents’ series… I still need Harrison and Polk.
June 16, 2011 at 1:11 pm
See…brainstorming at its best!
June 16, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Unseeliepixie, does that mean you already have Taft? I used to subscribe to crafts magazines (pre-Internet) and there’d be ads at the back from people looking for a particular pattern or book, but there were so many looking for Earwax Taft. They were always willing to trade John Quincy Adams, which didn’t surprise me. Everyone had too many of him.
June 16, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Taft was tough, but Harding was harder. I won it in a Hipster Death Match wager.
June 16, 2011 at 12:30 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/74745782/personal-picture-of-little-boy-saying-hi
This one made me think of The Room. I might see if I can replace the baby with Tommy Wiseau.
June 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART POONICORN!!!!
June 16, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I really like the one that says “Photograph of Jesus”
Photograph. Of. Jesus.
June 16, 2011 at 1:03 pm
That reminds me of an “ancient egyptian love spell” someone was selling.
It started with, “Take a photograph of your beloved and place it under your pillow…”
The Egyptians were very, very advanced.
June 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm
She shills seashells shellacked with shit on a shady specialty site…
June 16, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I’m sorry this is completely off-topic. But all this time, I have thought your avatar was a picture of the side of someone’s head, and you could only see the ear and part of the sunglasses. What on Earth is wrong with me, seriously?
June 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm
She told me it’s her ferret in the tub, and I think it’s the little guy and his front paws on the edge of the tub, but I keep seeing the dark line at the upper left as his right paw…as if his paws are spread out to take a bow.
June 16, 2011 at 1:58 pm
And to complete the image, his paws (at the front, on the edge of the tub) looked like his feet.
So, let’s recap. He’s standing in the tub, front legs spread out as if taking a bow, and he’s leaning into the camera.
Thursdays are always weird at work. Plus I’m listening to Bob & Ray on old-time radio playing the kazoo.
June 16, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Duh… why I didn’t think of this before. Here’s a better size…
June 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm
June 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Incredible–this looks 3-D! THAT I would buy without a moment’s hesitation.
June 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Yep. This is the one I need.
June 16, 2011 at 1:05 pm
I want one of my bajingo with a pearl in the important bit.
Curse my lack of photoshop skills…
June 16, 2011 at 1:12 pm
No, on the contrary, bless your lack of photoshop skills.
June 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm
Well, maybe not MY bajingo, but these things NEED a bajingo…
June 16, 2011 at 1:09 pm
This guy and his strategically placed pearls… It’s all getting very Freudian in here.
June 16, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Whoa, I just looked at his shop information. There’s a whole other level (level 5?) of fuckery in there.
“So glad you have taking time to look at my oyster shell picture craft, they are something I am very happy about in showing you this unique one-of-a-kind work. Please let me tell you how to get one oyster shell picture frame did for ( Free.) I also have ( Important Information ) for you…”
June 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm
(It continues way, way after that, though.)
June 16, 2011 at 1:22 pm
June 16, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 16, 2011 at 1:54 pm
June 16, 2011 at 2:23 pm
I’m feeling really good about my cockroach antenna/dryer lint project all of the sudden
June 16, 2011 at 2:30 pm
What the shell?
June 16, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Yay! My submission made it up!
June 16, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I really want the Obama one. I think it is because I am black though.
June 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm
June 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Bought this one for my mom’s birthday: http://www.etsy.com/transaction/51933737 When I showed my boyfriend he just shook his head and walked away
June 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm
fanfuckingtastic!
June 16, 2011 at 3:16 pm
You buyers know this is all going to go to the seller’s head and he’s gonna make more of these AND the price may go up..
not bad that this is probably helping to support him….
he needs a suggestion page .. or a facebook page… so we can post our ideas…
June 16, 2011 at 4:07 pm
I had to get my cat, Lemmiwinks, in on this one.
June 16, 2011 at 4:35 pm
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June 16, 2011 at 9:42 pm
June 16, 2011 at 7:16 pm
June 16, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Oyster Shell + actual Regretsy flounce diatribe + sassy male actor from the ’60s or ’70s =
FLOUNCE SHELL
June 16, 2011 at 8:59 pm
Ohhhhhhh, Dr. Smith!! Lost In Space!
At first I thought that was Judge Judy.
June 16, 2011 at 9:36 pm
There needs to be Franklin Mint series:
June 16, 2011 at 7:27 pm
June 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm
That one is entirely too tasteful and well made.
June 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm
Well, except for the lens flare. Pure cheese, that.
June 16, 2011 at 7:50 pm
June 16, 2011 at 9:27 pm
June 16, 2011 at 10:41 pm
June 16, 2011 at 11:01 pm
June 17, 2011 at 7:10 am
Sorry, nothing witty to add. I’m just totally grateful to ya’ll for fits of laughter.
June 19, 2011 at 9:06 pm
He lived to the ripe old age of 10 years old.
May 20, 2012 at 4:02 pm
I bought this one: https://www.etsy.com/transaction/82181556
And I sent in a request to have a photo of my cat on one with the “Come Home Mama” message.