Wait a second, – $2618 to look like a urinal? I thought you were supposed to pay me to be a toilet. Boy, things sure have changed since I was in college.
I love her spout.
I’m scared to ask, but does a urinal have a spout? I thought it just flushed down the drain in the bottom, no need for a spout. Or???
No spout, but the do on occasion overflow when flushed.
I have no idea if urinals normally have one, having never looked closely enough, but the dress is actually based on Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain which has a spout. Hence the spout.
It’s not actually a spout. Duchamp laid the urinal on its back. That’s where the pipe for the water inflow hooks up.
Aaaaaand my failed attempt at a Master’s in Art History is finally of some use.
That explains everything, thanks.
I am not buying this. I am holding out for the gold-tone bidet. Urine is for amateurs.
@Rev: “Urine is for amateurs” That’s your analysis.
I don’t like to pee in public restrooms, you can bet I’d never be able to mistake this for a place to go.
Didn’t you mean “urinalysis” ?
Wow, that was so easy I can’t believe I missed it.
Just once I wish I had seven penises so I could finally know the joys of urinal use. I’m sick of using the same contraption for all my waste allocation. I want a new thing to pee in!
Well, I don’t know about seven penises, but I do know it’s possible to “know the joys of urinal use”;
It’s surprising how often I find an excuse to link this… don’t say Canadians never gave you anything.
And don’t forget the Go Girl:
Trust me, one penis is more than enough complexity for my life. It’s just ten inches of flesh that gets in the way.
I laughed so hard I almost wet myself.
Not a problem if you were wearing this err, garment!
OR if you were using the P-Mate:
(Thanks, whimsiclekrissery. I thought you were going to link to the female urinal–I went to Catholic school in the 60s and the toilets there were odd–instead of an oblong seat/top, the front extended out a few inches (maybe 7) and was narrow. I found out later it was for women to pee standing up and not having to sit down or squat.)
@MugsyDoodle: One night another nurse called me in tears because the bathroom of the home she was in was so nasty that she didn’t want to get anywhere near the toilet. I found this and recommended it to her, but in a pinch you could fold one out of a paper grocery bag .. assuming you can find one.
My college dorm was one of the oldest on campus, part of a pair joined by the dining commons. Originally, in the pre-coed-dorm era the other dorm was the women’s one, and ours was the men’s dorm.
They hadn’t bothered doing any remodeling when the dorms went coed, so our womens’ bathroom had an alcove with six urinals. They were more toilet-like than the one Duchamp used for “Fountain.” I heard from other girls that they were useful for puking in.
There was also a story about a foreign exchange student thinking they actually *were* really weird toilets and commenting how uncomfortable they were to use, but it may have been a dorm legend.
It actually looks very useful for camping. But some people work hard to ruin an O.K idea. Note the “model” looking so happy about having people taking her pictue while she is peeing (maybe she’d like the dress?), why is she peeing at the side of a busy roadm & why don’t her pants legs match. I also think that these people went to an Etsy workshit
“The P-Mate is covered with a 4-leaf clover design as it is good luck to have one with you when you are in need.” How cute (gag) and
“The P-Mate does NOT get all wet and soggy after use. You can easily slip it back into a pocket or bag…POCKET? I think not. Not an aroma I’d want to be wafting.
looking for golden showers I suppose
if i’m gonna spend 2 grand on a dress, they’d better be real golden showers…
Liquid gold, texas tea
Being pelted with gold would probably hurt, unless you could ask for gold leaf.
dolla dolla bill yall~
also hi5 for the name
I thought this looked familiar –
I saw R. Kelly walking out of the Baby Gap store at the outlet mall with one of these the other day.
I think a yellow bandana might be cheaper…
Just make sure you remember which side to put I in.
So, in her case – the right side/beltloop/pocket.
There really was a Golden Showers Lane on base housing at the Naval Communications Station Guam. Even in the early eighties it generated a chortle whenever we were dispatched to take a report.
The exit number at Big Beaver Rd. in Troy Michigan is 69. Locals always chuckle
What do you think she’d do if some guy actually used it?
I’m fairly sure that’s why she’s got the make-up teardrop. She’s already crying on the inside.
Then she’d be off looking for a hot janitor! That’s the real reason why she’s wearing this….
I think she’d be really upset. I think most girls who would wear something like this would do it for capital-F Fashion and would not have a sense of humor about it. The people who would wear it for humor would never spend such a ridiculous amount for it.
Somewhere someone is saying to himself “Dass ist HOT!”
When does the urinal cake purse come out?
Great minds think alike
Have you checked Etsy yet? Sounds like a real possibility.
This is the closest I could find:
Weeell, I guess that is one way to make sure no one steals your lunch at work. The sad thing is that I felt pretty confident that something was out there.
When does the man urinal cake purse come out?
Only if there’s a matching clutch purse shaped like a urinal cake.
Or a bidet beret.
Toilet wand fascinator?
For the bridal gown bidet.
Great, now I’ve got Prince’s (or whatever the fuck he calls himself today)voice singing “Raspberry Bidet” in my head. It is really annoying the other voices.
The mesh strainer mat that lies under the deodorant cake… screams to become a tiara, wrist cuff, or fascinator.
It’s the teardrop makeup that really sells it.
I just noticed the make-up tear under her eye. Is that because she’s sad she has to wear that ridiculous sequined get-up or is it some pee splatter?
Pee splatter. No question.
This just pisses me off.
Better pissed off than pissed on.
I’m a little urinal,
Short and stout.
Here are my handles,
Here is my spout.
Not even Lady Gaga would work this disaster =/
Oh, I don’t think that’s the case. Did you catch her penis heels on American Idol?
At first glance I thought it was Lady Gaga.
I’d wear that on a day I was really pissed.
I just let ‘em piss in my shoe, no way no one is gonna piss in me dress.
Who shit in the urinal?
Someone alert the Hardly Boys!
Bear Grylls is unavailable for comment.
I wish I could photoshop stuff, cause if I could I would be shooping his face into that dress faster than I could blink.
Someone shall have to take up the torch for me.
Quick & Dirty (heh):
I love you. Marry me?
Also, permission to steal this for my humour folder? Should I post it anywhere on the web I’ll credit you.
Awww, shucks! Of course you can use it
Can you low down please? I can’t reach it!
Isn’t this easier? I mean shit poster board is like a dollar damn.
And just how much is piss poster board, prey tell?
I like “prey” tell better XD
In my city, there was a bar that had a urinal shaped like a woman’s mouth. City Council was up in arms about it. Finally got it removed from the bar, called it “demeaning to women”. I didn’t find it demeaning. Stupid maybe, but not demeaning. But this dress actually does kinda piss me off.
*Yellow highlighter not included.*
What, no shit-shaped jewellery? Flasks full of urine as accessories?
Is this for a costume party? Does the husband dress as a Bidet?
That would make the wearer’s husband “Bidet Mate”.
My Australian friends will be pleased.
If Crocodile Dundee is to be believed, they don’t know what it’s for.
I don’t believe Paul Hogan really exists. He’s like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny in my mind.
We know what it’s for, and we think it’s hilarious.
Or is the teardrop like the prison tat concept? Lady Gaga is going to be mad someone thought of this first. But it does have “intense” sequin and embroidery work, as opposed to the “slacker” work most urinal dress designers put out these days.
It cries out for some yellow sequins and beads around the faux drain.
Also cigarette butts and chewed gum.
Or even better a urinal cake cozy made from a chewing gum doily.
Urine denial, lady.
ba-dum ching! *rimshot!*
this is not a dress
No, it’s a cry for help.
“C’est ne pas une chemise.” Sorry, I know it’s Magritte and I’m mixing up Surrealists, but I couldn’t resist.
I’m milking that almost-M.A. for all it’s worth while I’ve got the chance.
I am sorry, my urinal education is sadly lacking … what are those little wing things sticking out of her hips?
Those are where you put your feet, to get a good secure squat going.
This one’s for the art history majors in the house!
Nicely done, fellow art nerd. *\o/*
That’s what it needed. Besides the urinal-cake clutch purse, of course.
Now THAT is awesome.
The first thing I said when I saw this was, “This was horrible as ‘art’ and it’s even worse as a dress!”
Awww, the sheep logo, how cute. As we all know, people who buy their clothes from mainstream retail stores are all stupid, mindless sheep just being brainwashed by the man and the bleeding edge, independent fashion isn’t at all overpriced or ridiculously ugly or impractical.
I BEG YOUR PARDON??!
YOU KNOW YOU’RE BRAINWASHED AND ONLY DO WHAT THE MAN TELLS YOU TO DO. BREAK FREE AND BECOME A SHARK.
Ugh, even if it didn’t look like a urinal it’d be awful.
If she’s going to use Duchamp as a fashion inspiration (for whatever fucked up reason) she should go all out and make me a suit:
I was thinking Magritte: One of those knitted body suits complete with genitals and yarn pubic hair: “ceci n’est pas une peen”
damn. I should have read through all the comments first
FINALLY! Something to wear my bedpan hat with!
…and my urinal cake fascinator (with golden yellow netting) has been outdone.
Better hurry everyone, it’s a limited edition of 5!
Can you imagine if we all wore them to the same party? Let the good times roll!
That would be SO embarrassing!
Can you imagine what would happen if you all wore them to a party and then stood against the tile wall in a line?
Somebody photoshop in the proper dress, because I fail at life.
If you noticed, it is only for sizes 2-8. I you couldn’t wear vulva panties, you are also denied the joy of wear this. Just another example to support my belief that there is a plot to make petite persons pay gobs of money to look asinine.
What always pisses me off (no pun intended, but there it is) is when people make shit and think they can charge ridiculous amounts of money just because they call themselves designers or the idea is unusual. I’m a goldsmith apprentice, and this shit (oh, look, another toilet reference) goes on in that business, too.
You can charge outrageous prices for good design and good craftsmanship. If that involves a toilet somehow, I might not wear it, but I can respect it.
This is neither.
I just bought mine! I have a wedding to go to this weekend.
(I mean, I know you’re not supposed to wear white, what with upstaging the bride and all, but once she see’s THIS, she’ll totally forgive me.)
I don’t know…if your intense sequin work outshines her dress, she may lock you in the men’s room…
Proof that just because something can be made, doesn’t mean it should be. Which describes about half the stuff on Etsy, actually. The other half is resellers.
At least on Etsy it is one deluded person mking crap that they (and maybe their friend or mom) thinks is worthwhile. The sad thing here is that it is international fuckery, an entired business, not sanitation related, that based on crap.
QUICK you guys there are only 5!!! Do you think they could them all to line up against a wall together?
Wouldn’t it be embarrassing if two people wore THIS dress to a party?
What a gaffe!
It would be embarrassing if one person wore this to a party. Although a shit or bathroom themed party might be fun. At least you wouldn’t have to go to far to puke from too much partying.
I had to switch browsers because I couldn’t log in but THIS IS SOMETHING I POSTED!! I’m so excited something I shared on the Facebook page made it!!! Yay!
If someone did it before me or you found it on your own I’m still going to pretend it was me alone. Delusions of grandeur baby.
It looks like someone took the foam packing from the box their TV came in and colored on it with a sharpie.
I think the spout is hysterical, though.
She’s way too old for R. Kelly.
(so, soooo sorry…)
Can someone please photoshop a Matryoshka doll in there? It would be a perfect fit and I just can’t stop imagining it.
enjoy my shitty photoshop skillz.
Where’s her owl TP “coozy”?!?
In other news, a few years ago I was at a 4th of July fireworks show with some friends and their then 5-year-old daughter. The show was using those huge gold ones that crackle as they come down, and the 5yo says: “It’s like there are beautiful golden showers falling all over me.” Needless to say, another friend and I had to leave and hide until we were done laughing until we cried.
If I’m about to pay that much for a dress, I expect there to be an apostrophe in the ‘Its’ of the description.
I expect the whole thing to be sequins, none of this gimp bullshit.
Dressing for the Romeo Void reunion concert: you are implementing incorrect interventions.
Well, here’s one dress that should never, ever, ever be worn around drunk people.
Agreed. Drunk people pee everywhere. I worked in goth bars for over 5 years. I know the insanity which is the drunk goth ALL too well. It’s no wonder I have hardly set foot in one since I quit.
Hey there are people out there that like that kind of thing. I’m assuming that they are the market for the “dress?”
Let’s really improve things. Rancid chickenhead mask on face, TP “koozy” hanging off arm, and chewed gum doily pasted on top of head. The “I’d Rather Be F-ing” guy could dance around her. C’mon I don’t know how to photoshop. You people are my lifeline.
Level 4 cat, on the other hand, is way too good to be seen with this bullshit.
Don’t forget to make it a “watercolor” from your laser printer.
The disabled guy walked by and I said, “Look, a urinal dress.”
He stopped walking for a second, replied, “That’s fuckin’ stupid.” and continued on.
I told him the cost and he said: “People are fuckin’ stupid.”
Yes, sir, they are.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
…was the fact that he was disabled relevant to the story somehow?
No, that’s just how Patty refers to her disabled guy.
We’re getting butthurt all over the place lately. Let’s just everyone calm down and stop this political correctness. It sucks all the fun out of life.
“Sucking the fun out of life” is that some sort of anti-vampire sentiment? Do you have something against the living-challenged?
You and my girlfriend would get along. I worry sometimes about her getting in trouble for the stuff that comes out of her mouth, but it’s all so effing funny that nobody can stop laughing long enough to be angry that she said something way beyond non-pc. I don’t get it, but whatever. There’s no hate behind it, and that’s what is important!
“P.C. – Sucking the fun out of life”
I wouldn’t say I was “butthurt”… more curious how that fit in.
Oh dear. It didn’t come off that way. Or I’m PMS-ing more than usual this month.
On the bright side, it looks like we’re getting a sampler out of it!
My husband is disabled. He knows he’s disabled and hates it when he’s called “differently-abled” and other bullshit labels. He had a stroke when he was 28 (he’s 44 now). Along with being paralyzed on his right side, he has speech and communication disorders that make him say the funniest, fucked-up shit ever. I write a blog about him called “Conversations with the Disabled Guy” (linked in my screen name). He’s fully aware I call him that online, he’s fully aware I write about him, take photos, post videos. I get his permission before I share with the entirety of the Internet. Even the videos where I hide the fact I’m filming. I show him first and if he’s cool with it, then everyone gets to see it.
There’s a Facebook group for the blog. HK helped us raise money to send our kid to NYC because he builds things from wood- we sold birdhouses he made (and my photos because that’s what I do).
The fact that he’s disabled is relevant to everything.
I just stepped outside to tell him about the comments here (he’s still rebuilding the deck, the rain kept him indoors for two days).
I enthusiastically said: “You’re exceptional!”
He said: “I know *sigh*”
I said: “You’re differently-abled!”
He replied, “That’s right. I’m better than you.”
And then he said, “Move, you’re standing on my wood.” Because I was. Not that wood, but you know, the actual wood he’s using on the deck.
Now you know. The Disabled Guy likes playing with his wood. One-handed.
I did a video with the disabled guy…
I’m sorry if I offended, this was not a blog I was aware of and I hadn’t ever seen any of your previous Regretsy posts. Anyway, I’ve started reading your blog.
Hey, I got a blog out of it and I got the disabled guy to do a video (something that takes A LOT of convincing), so everything’s cool.
For what its worth, I thumbs-upped your original comment.
I think they should engage in some really innovative cross-marketing. For instance, at the market where we buy all the ingredients when we cook Indian food, sitting on the counter next to the cash register was a product called “Gentle Bidet: The Jet Spray Butt Cleaner.” Considering how we feel after eating Indian food sometimes, I thought it was brilliant. Though using “gentle” and “jet spray” in the same product description threw me off.
Using “jet spray” and “butt” in the same product description made me giggle like a 12-year-old.
You want to giggle?
Try “fecal mist jet spray”
“Urinal dress inspired by Duchamp. Hand made”
I just facepalmed so hard I got a concussion. The whole point of Duchamp’s “Fountain” was that it was a readymade and not made by hand. That’s like putting Che Guevara’s face on a shitload of cheap mass-produced merchandise.
My husband has a che guevara shirt that is a picture of che guevara wearing a che guevara shirt, infinitely meta.
You mean Jim Fitzpatrick’s DRAWING of Che Guevara’s face. (I’m a huge fan of Jim’s Celtic art and his 70′s album covers)
http://store.theonion.com/product/che-wearing-che-tshirt-tshirt,115/ I believe this is a vector created from a photograph actually.
The story gets a little more meta.
Jim Fitzpatrick created the poster based on a photograph by Korda (unknown at the time). Fitzpatrick chose to keep his image of Che free of copyright because he wanted it to be reproduced.
The more you know…
At first glance I thought this was an athletic cup and I thought Wow, someone would have to have delusions of grandeur regarding their manhood to buy this!
Bahaha did you see the “Nude Dress” on the same website?
Someone should tell them they’re a couple years behind;
Um. I need mental wash to make the image of that girl playing with her fathers fake balls go away.
Also, why is nude apparel always so hideous? That sequined abomination looks like someone wearing a white bra and panties with nipples and pubic hair on them, not like the Tom Wesselmann nude they attribute it to, where the model has tan lines. Plus it’s ugly and way overpriced.
This is deeply disturbing.
I don’t know if I should give this a thumbs up or down… Usually it’s so clear to me. This is a new category — I wish there was a third thing to click on… one that just has a screaming face. Instead, I’ll just offer this response:
This makes my eyes hurt. They keep going:
I think I had a seizure.
What the fucking HELL? And what icraftoncrack said times 1000.
I suppose he’s never, you know, been with a lady (wink wink, nudge nudge), hence the transparent yet opaque lingerie.
That poor model’s expression is hilarious. You just know she’s thinking about her paycheck for consolation.
(Be sure to mouse-over zoom for the full effect.)
Oh, god, this one is also amusing. And the model’s expression is even more so.
Oh, that’s so special…
My aunt once made a bikini out of three of those actual flowers. Fortunately, I wasn’t alive to see it.
Where the hell do they get those models? They all look like they walked into a room with a really bad smell. Just what makes me buy a godawfully ugly and expensive dress.
I prefer the marine penis.
That only works for me if I can wear it with the vulva panties.
And what the deuce is this??
They’re not even trying are they?
Waaaaaaaaaay overpriced. For starters…
I like the use of the calipers to hold it up.
Jesus H Macy. I have stuff like that in my closet, waiting to be turned into something else.
Somewhere, Tarzan is really pissed that someone stole his loincloth.
Terrifying. ” Every scarf is unique in texture and shape” = carnivore ripped deer into pieces.
Why put tan lines on it?
Is that a teardrop in the corner of her left eye? Even the model is humiliated.
Nah, it’s a tiny drawing of her dress.
I always tell people it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on…..now I’m not so sure that’s appropriate.
And if anyone stares at you, Miss Urinal, just ask him what the FUCK he’s looking at!
Then chase him with dairy products!
And someone who would wear this would get upset that they here bathroom jokes all day, when that’s exactly what you should expect.
Quick everyone, let’s do the potty dance!
Right leg cross, left leg cross, step, step, toes, waist, celebrate!
(It’s important to be hip when it comes to toilet fashion, after all)
My girl likes to potty all the time, potty all the time.
I’m pretty damn fat, if I wore that I’d look like a bathtub, and then hipsters would try to sit in me and things would go even further downhill from there.
Thank you for a wonderful mental visual of sad hipster trying to sit in a urinal dress – I’m still laughing every time I think about it.
um, where do you put the urinal deodorant bar?
Someone with better Shop skills than me please put Judge Judy in this, as on the cover of her book, Don’t Pee In My Dress and Tell Me It’s Fashion.
What the hell is that dress made of? Paper mache?
I see a theme… yesterday toilet paper coozy — today London Fashion Week Urinal dress…
I can hardly wait till later today - I’m hoping for dog poop streaked carpet art.
Heehee, is that photobombing or carpetbombing?
You can use it multipurpose!
that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all day!
Well done! Habby and I have been laughing for like five minute straight!
I had a cat do that across the lawn once, in front of all the neighbors.
The official wear of the residents of Urinetown.
Well done stephsparkle, the Art History Geeks got their joke it is now time for the Theatre Dorks to piss about.
I’m just trying to share the love of the piss poor judgment call to create this “fashion” piece.
It’s a privilege to pee!
(I auditioned for that role. Didn’t get it)
…here is my handle, here is my spout!.. Oh wait…
I think I have my halloween costume for this year.
reason number 294820 I don’t like Duchamp…
Apparently you did miss history. See above.
It had to happen:
Everything makes sense, now.
I always wondered what people did with the legs cut from making a cut off pair of shorts. Now I know. http://www.notjustalabel.com/shop/31001
Seriously. These people really aren’t trying at all.
Oh, they are trying. To rip off idiots.
The “leg warmers” aren’t too bad, but I gotta know whose gorgeous legs those are.
People really need to click on that link of yours Da Goddess. Because…That’s better than the urinal dress.
It looks like Edward Scissorhands made it to second base, at least.
Imitation is the sincerest form of fuckery.
Want to accessorize? Toilet bowl hat: http://www.notjustalabel.com/shop/28325
“Go insane, go insane, throw some glitter, make it rain, come on let me see them Hanes, let me see them Hanes…”
There. Now you all share my pain.
Oh, and thanks to da Goddess for that link. The campbells soup dress made me turn cartwheels.
It would be more accurate if there were wet spots everywhere BUT in the “urinal”
I’ll bring this cake to our all things toilet themed party
Who gets to eat the worm?
It is upsetting to me that I first noticed the bad marker coloring job on the bottom left.
Where are the toilet-flush-handle earrings?
“Limited Edition of 5″: sweeter words were never spoken!
What a novel idea. I can stand on her hip ledges while keeping her mouth full. Find THAT one in the Kama Sutra!
I look at this and all I see is Burning Man.
this is one idea that should have been flushed right off the bat
Once again, I hate being late .. but I was hand embroidering the lettering on this and sewing the sequins onto the X… will be in my etsy store soon….
My people believe in being much more direct. If you are trying to say something, just say it….
I found a buyer!!!!!
Suprised, dismayed, disgusted yes, I can still be all these things, but I foolishly believed my days of being shocked were left in my distant youth. Now that the initial shock of a urinal dress…A URINAL DRESS!…is over, alright not over but waning, I’m shocked that I was shocked, and I think I’m feeling a little younger, and I thank you.
These designers are way behind, sequins, really?! This should have been crocheted out of chewing gum.
“Covered in hand stitched sequins” is the designer version of glitter herpes.
Reminds me of that exchange between Reese Whitherspoon and Keifer Sutherland in Freeway.
Reminds me of a bumper-sticker one of my college prof’s had:
“Those who can, Do. Those who cannot, Duchamp.”
Once, only once in my life, have I ever wished I were a bloke. A bloke wearing fly-fronted trousers.
*stunned silence* There are just no words.
Sold to Lady Gaga!
And to just what function does one wear a urinal or “nude” dress?
Definitely a private function.
1600 quid for a urinal dress? She’s taking the piss.
(apologies if someone else already posted it.)
I wonder what the lady who sells the Potty Guard toilet covers thinks of this!!
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