On a Roll
First of all, how is this a coozy? Isn’t a coozy one of those insulated things you put on a beer can to keep it cold? Or does this keep your toilet paper chilled for anal refreshment? And how does this save toilet paper? Is it because it’s such a pain in the ass to take the roll out of the fucking fabric baggie that no one bothers to wipe anymore? That doesn’t seem like such a bargain. Maybe you save toilet paper, but your Shout bill is going to go through the roof.
Then again, maybe you’re just supposed to back up and wipe your ass on this thing. I guess that’s possible. But I thought that’s what guest towels were for.
THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT I THINK ABOUT
June 9, 2011 at 10:54 am
looks like far more effort to wipe your ass than it is worth.
June 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
On that, I must disagree with you. It is always worth the effort to wipe, no matter how much effort that is.
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
i have two kids. i barely have time to shit. adding the whole “pull out the TP, hold it in your hand while you wipe, then put it back” idea…not going to work in my house.
June 9, 2011 at 11:04 am
You’re still wiping your own ass? What the hell did you have children for?
June 9, 2011 at 11:12 am
My genius son would probably mistake it for a country coozy urinal and soak that sucker til it’s nice and stinky.
June 9, 2011 at 11:16 am
Also, this cozy only leads to the toddlers taking the roll of TP out, wiping with the ENTIRE roll and then trying to flush that. I’m not naming any names but my 15 year old little sister Rachel did that when she was 6 and we didn’t even have the inviting cozy to entice her.
June 9, 2011 at 11:06 am
Speak for yourself. MY ass is worth a lot of effort!
June 9, 2011 at 11:42 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 9, 2011 at 11:47 am
Thank you for sharing! *look of horror* But, may I ask a favor? Please, I’m begging you, do not add color commentary.
June 10, 2011 at 1:46 am
Now THAT is effing whimsicle. FINALLY.
June 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
After 4 bean burritos with extra hot sauce and peppers and a half a bottle of cheap tequilla, chilled TP sounds like a mighty good idea.
June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
After 4 bean burritos with extra hot sauce and peppers and a half a bottle of cheap tequila, I’d have to wash my coozy after you used the TP.
June 9, 2011 at 11:18 am
Good point. It’s also probably painfully obvious that TP conservation is not high on my list of priorities.
June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
It wasn’t until I took care of children I learned the joys of flushable wet wipes
June 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I’ve heard that they don’t break up when flushed, as advertised. But…do you really care about such things when you’re dealing with children in the bathroom? I hope not. That’s why they made disposable diapers–immediate convenience.
The preceding was not meant as an argument against flushable wipes
June 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm
That’s good because we are addicted to them at my house… Long Live The Wipe!
June 9, 2011 at 12:29 pm
I didn’t have to deal with children in the bathroom, but these were used as a convenience…turned out they didn’t break up, and clogged the whole waste line to our apartment building…just imagine what happened!!!!
June 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
it has owls on it, so that’s a plus. the owls do not make up for the fact that the item is useless and annoying.
June 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
yet whimsical, like you’re going to sit there and say “wow, i sure do hate putting the tp on the roll… look, a chicken!”
June 9, 2011 at 10:58 am
BUT THEY ADD WHIMSY
June 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
The toilet is no place for whimsy. It is a place for serious business. That willyroll cozy should be made out of a navy blue pinstripe suiting material, or perhaps whatever they make marines’ uniforms out of.
And the pattern should change color in the presence of bodily gases, like those beer cans that turn blue when they get cold.
I have improved this design ten millionfold. Urban Outfitters, call me.
June 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
I’d like a custom order for one of these in a brown on brown tonal fingerprint fabric, please.
June 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
this is true. the only acceptable facial expressions for pooping are >:[ or X/ anything else and you are weird and scary
June 9, 2011 at 11:27 am
Ever meet any brand snobs? The kind who say things like “I would NEVER buy the generic brand; I only like the one with the bears on it”?
I want one with an embroidered slogan to address that: “It’s there to wipe your butt, not to line your hope chest.”
June 9, 2011 at 11:40 am
I am a brand snob. The generics are too rough or single-ply. But I wouldn’t dream of complaining about someone else’s choice.
June 9, 2011 at 11:53 am
I fully support your right to choose, Steampunk Octopus. The subject is a bit touchy for me due to a recent attempted public shaming at the grocery store.
To each his own, or: My biffy, my brand!
June 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Jesus Christ on a Crispix! There are people trying to shame others over their choice of toilet paper??? How ridiculous! So sorry you had to experience that, Irv.
June 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm
It was definitely one of those “Did that really just happen?” moments. And a nice example of someone being insolent, come to think of it.
June 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Personally, I will never buy Charmin, because Mr. Whipple creeped me out, and their current ads (with the “bears shitting in the woods” theme) are just gross. I don’t care what anybody else buys, I’m just not sending them any on my money. Generic two-ply, as long as there are no visible chunks of wood.
June 9, 2011 at 12:54 pm
*of* my money, damnit!
June 9, 2011 at 1:28 pm
cheap is best for me and mine, as the fancy stuff leaves little lint balls on my cooter. a visible reminder to the paramour that i need to wipe when i pee. so not sexy.
June 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I say it has to be in between. Too fancy and it’s like trying to wipe with cotton balls, too cheap and it’s like paper bags.
June 9, 2011 at 3:33 pm
My boyfriend buys TP made of recycled materials, which works fine. Added bonus, though: sometimes it has little colored pieces or glitter. Not only does that make me feel oh so pretty, but I like to imagine I’m wiping with a 1st grade art project. Talk about whimsicle!
June 9, 2011 at 11:08 am
I’d be concerned that my “whimsical” toilet paper holder is staring at me–what is that, a fox? Worse? My holder is behind me and to the side of the toilet…so I’d always have that “someone is watching me” feeling when I least want someone watching me.
June 9, 2011 at 11:59 am
I thought that was just me. We have magazines in the bathroom, and if there are people on the cover I have to turn it over so they’re not looking at me.
June 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I turn the magazines around too.
June 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Thanks, Stephsparkle! My hubby thinks it’s weird.
June 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm
Sorry kimoutre. Just because they do the same thing doesn’t mean it’s not weird. Of course, it doesn’t mean it is, either.
Bye.
June 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE
June 9, 2011 at 5:31 pm
not the only one. I do it too
June 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm
My parents had this clock in their bathroom as I was growing up. My brother would always turn it to the wall. They also had a frightening cookie jar prominantly displayed. It is lucky we didn’t grow up to be serial killers.
June 9, 2011 at 12:15 pm
crap. Looked good on preview, but I guess I suck at internet.
Here’s the clock: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUK13bSA4nc
Here’s the cookie jar: http://collectibles.about.com/od/pricetoys/ig/Howdy-Doody-Collectibles/Purinton-Howdy-Doody-Jar.htm
June 10, 2011 at 2:13 am
Is lucky. The cookie jar is especially terrifying.
June 9, 2011 at 11:43 am
Owls I see. Also birds and bright colored flowers. I don’t see a forest and I don’t see no fucking whimsy.(or should I (mis)spell it whimsiy)?
June 9, 2011 at 11:50 am
I didn’t click on the picture (for obvious reasons). When I saw the eyes above the roll, somehow they reminded me of a fox (or more, a hound) and the brown spot on the lower left made me think of the animal’s nose.
June 9, 2011 at 4:30 pm
I imagine it’ll sell just because of the “PUT A BIRD ON IT” factor.
June 10, 2011 at 2:14 am
“If you liked it then you shoulda put a bird on it!”
June 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
I don’t think I can pee with those owls staring at me.
June 9, 2011 at 11:33 am
You think that’s bad? I have some friends who though it would be cool to put tons of religious icon pictures on the wall behind the toilet. You try taking a leak with the Virgin Mary staring you down.
June 9, 2011 at 11:44 am
A restaurant in town has a the God and Man image on it’s ceiling, only it’s Day of the Dead-themed (skeletons). There’s a big Virgin Mary icon picture behind the toilet and a huge mirror on the wall facing the toilet. So when you’re sitting there, you’re watching yourself pee. It’s the creepiest thing in the world. They have great food though.
June 9, 2011 at 11:55 am
A very fancy restaurant I went to a few times had full body mirrors on all four of the bathroom’s stalls walls. My self-image has not yet recovered from the 360º full length view of myself sitting on the toilet with a mild indigestion.
June 9, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Sounds like my kinda place. Also, I thought a “coozy” was just a fancy word for lady bits. Huh, the more you know.
June 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I’ve seen two bathrooms even weirder. One had an entire wall that was two way mirror, so you could see out to the WHOLE RESTAURANT while you peed. The other had an eye level window running the whole length of the urinals that looked out onto the sidewalk outside, so you could watch the world go by. Both were mens rooms. Go fig.
June 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Public bathrooms with large, toilet-displaying mirrors always have me looking for the hidden PervCam.
June 9, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Years ago I stayed in a hostel in Clifden, Ireland, that had a huge picture window, nearly floor to ceiling, with a gorgeous view over the river and bay in the women’s washroom. Nobody using that toilet cared what the toilet paper holder looked like. Including the staff who were apparently too busy looking at the view to notice that the tp in all the stalls had run out.
But I am not bitter about it.
June 9, 2011 at 4:21 pm
can you imagine how icky those mirrors must get, especially if they’re not diligent about cleaning? ew. i prefer my public restroom stalls with dingy paint and graffiti, so I can’t tell what hasn’t been cleaned up
*ignorance is bliss!*
June 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
The owl above the roll is actually winking. Just what you want while you’re crapping.
June 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
I don’t understand how changing the roll from horizontal to vertical saves toilet paper, unless she’s got one of those OCD cats that just unrolls it until it’s gone. Or a toddler.
June 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
maybe it is a household of TP “Smackers?” Instead of pulling on the end of the TP until they have the desired amount they slap the roll until a pile spills onto the floor and use that. This forces them to unwind the TP.
June 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
A toddler would probably just jack the whole roll if it’s sitting out like that. Mine would.
June 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Any self-respecting toddler would.
June 9, 2011 at 11:33 am
Hell, I would.
June 9, 2011 at 11:15 am
And the entire roll (cardboard included) would end up in the toilet with him trying to flush it.
June 9, 2011 at 11:53 am
Exactly. Of course, I keep a gate in the bathroom door to keep my toddler out of there, he’ll put his hands on everything.
Of course, I also have a cat that will not unroll the tp, but chew through the whole fucking thing so that you can’t even use it unless you want to wipe yourself with confetti soaked in cat spit.
June 9, 2011 at 3:52 pm
My boyfriend’s lab/pug Emily does the same thing! So very frustrating in the wee hours of the morning after a night of heavy drinking and all you find is confetti.
June 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm
I think the idea is that it saves your toilet paper from getting knocked off the counter\tank and into the toilet\tub and turned into a blob of paper mache. Then again, the same folks that forget to put the roll on the spinner have to remember to put it in the koozy. Good luck with that!
June 10, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I have one of those OCD cats who ruin a whole roll of tp given the chance. I was thinking this just might work to keep her out of it. I currently have to keep the tp in the little cabinet hung over the toilet. It’s just high enough up to be a pain to reach.
June 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
Pssh. You still have to take the cardboard tube out of the bag and put a new roll in. I’m still leaving it on the back of the tank.
June 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
I think I would of shoved a few tampons into the center of the TP roll and called it a TP AND Tampon cozy cady.
EUREKA!
June 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm
THAT is actually kind of a good idea. Minus the TP though. That still seems useless.
June 9, 2011 at 1:20 pm
I wouldn’t use a tampon spattered with all that is unholy. I still shudder when I think of the Mythbusters toilet-germ episode.
June 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
You save toilet paper because you simply take the roll out, shit in the coozy itself, wipe on the convenient flap, and flush the whole thing down.
June 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
Or leave it for the next person to find.
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
Re-gift!
June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am
For the jerk in the office who you hate put puller her name in secret fucking santa.
June 9, 2011 at 11:44 am
Good grief. That should be “but pull her name”
June 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm
I like the first version better.
June 9, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Winner winner chicken dinner!
June 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
I cant even get them to put the TP roll on the freaking holder let alone take the time to put it back into this rediculous contraption.
June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
That’s a good point. Using a TP holder the standard way, you have to remount a roll every 50 or so bowel movements. (Number pulled out of my ass. I’ve never before thought about how many movements a roll is good for.) This contraption you have to dismount and remount the roll every single time. 100x the work.
June 9, 2011 at 11:18 am
Of course! This needs to be marketed as an exercise tool, not a convenience item. Burn an extra 10 calories per day. That could be a pound lost a year!
In a world where shape-ups, enviga calorie burning drinks, and taking the 12 stairs instead of hopping in the elevator allows bloated soccer moms to chow down cookies guilt free, some asshole would buy this.
June 9, 2011 at 4:23 pm
your math seems as good as any
June 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm
50? How big of a TP roll are you using??!
June 10, 2011 at 2:18 am
How big a crap are you taking?
June 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
This is all well and good, but what about the re-usable toilet seat protector? The more inconvenient and uncomfortable the bathroom experience, the less guests you’ll need to feed. With luck, they’ll start really being eco-friendly and just go in the yard.
June 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
Better yet, they’ll just stop coming over at all. Heyyyyy…maybe that’s how she cut back on toilet paper usage!
June 9, 2011 at 10:58 am
Anal Refreshment is my Justin Bieber cover band.
June 9, 2011 at 10:58 am
The only way I would consider buying or using this would be if I used this to store extra TP. Let’s imagine that I have guests coming over. Not everybody is comfortable with rummaging through other people’s cabinets (Huge lie), so you can hang this thing somewhere so they know where the extras are?
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
Better in theory than in practice.
June 9, 2011 at 11:16 am
Eh, I have no cabinet space in my bathroom. If that weren’t made out of clear vinyl and I didn’t have to look at the toilet paper, I’d maybe consider it. Possibly.
Although, if it weren’t clear, would anyone think to check there for toilet paper?
More vodka would solve this problem.
June 9, 2011 at 3:21 pm
My husband actually thought THAT was a good idea and couldn’t figure out why we were mocking it.
June 9, 2011 at 11:10 am
I am obsessive about having extra TP available for guests (I also keep a plunger in the guest bath for accidents so guests don’t have to ask for one or leave a surprise*), being able to keep guests out of my bathroom cabinets would also be a plus, but this prevents normal TP hanging and is another fabric bathroom thing to get covered in fecal spray and toothpaste drips. Oh good. More nasty-ass bathroom stuff to wash. My favorite.
*long time readers with good memories might recall that I am also the person who stocks the guest bath with hotel size, sealed soaps that I throw away after each house guest. I also keep a stock of those Colgate Wisp brushes, and tampons in the guest bath. I might be a little OCD about the Guest Comfort thing.
June 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
I am coming to visit you. My family’s idea of hospitality is looking up, saying, “Oh, you’re here again. Could you grab me a coke while you are up?”
I may never leave Guest Comfort House.
June 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm
If AntB leaves, I’ll visit, too. My hall bath hosts a never-ending stream of teenaged girls. I bought an L-shaped tp stand that you don’t have to remove a spindle from to replace the roll; just slide the empty cardboard tube off and slide the new roll on. It still rarely gets replaced.
June 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Just make sure you throw away the guest towels, too, after HK has visited.
June 9, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Fecal spray?!?! Good god, I hope I never meet your guests.
June 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm
This is what I mistakenly thought the “coozy” was for – storing an extra roll. Then I realized with “coozy” on, you couldn’t put a roll on the holder. Who the bleep wants to pull the whole roll out, unravel needed yardage, and then replace whole roll with perhaps soiled hand? I’m going old skool and saying this thing is a waste (pun intended).
June 9, 2011 at 10:58 am
My biggest problem with this particular product is I’m a bit of a drunk. Normally
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
damn computer. Normally this thing would be an annoyance, but whilst intoxicated it would become more complex than a rubix cube.
June 9, 2011 at 11:21 am
Yeah, this hell wouldn’t work for me either! And that’s why today I’ve decided to be indolent instead of insolent, then someone else can wipe my bum.
June 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
I think she does not like having guests use her TP. It is like those stupid frilly guest towels people put up. They are too fancy to use so you wipe your hands on your pants to dry them. One can only guess what her guests are wiping on when faced with this “special” TP!
June 9, 2011 at 11:16 am
I just fucking use the frilly guest towels people leave out. Fuck fancy.
If they don’t want people shitting, using their loo roll and washing then drying their hands on their towels, they should just become antisocial shut-ins like normal people.
June 9, 2011 at 2:56 pm
My boyfriend’s mom LOVES those fucking towels! The towel bars in all her bathrooms hold an arrangement of, I swear to GOD, 5 towels. One normal one buried under 4 layered hand towels with a 20% terrycloth to 80% lace-and/or-nylon-machine-embroidered-crap ratio.
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
maybe it saves on TP because the guests come in and see it and say, “These people are fucking weird, I’m holding it!”
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
Hahahaha oh man, that is hilarious!
Wait no, it isn’t. I don’t care that the part about saving toilet paper is a lie, I just want to know how this will “crack your guests up.” Unless they’ll be laughing because you spent $7 on it.
June 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
Do you think the use of the term “crack” was an intentional pun? I’m going to tell myself that it was.
June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
Oh god, i didn’t even think about that. Now I’m conflicted. I generally don’t like puns, but I DO love a good butt joke.
June 9, 2011 at 4:35 pm
“I generally don’t like puns, but I DO love a good butt joke.”
I can see this cross stitched in a bathrom somewhere, right next to the requisite “Footprints” plaque.
June 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
I love how the TP holder is an essential part of not holding the TP. That’s so meta. Zen? Anarchic? Stupid?
That’s it, stupid.
June 9, 2011 at 11:01 am
This is for people who are embarrassed to admit that they shit, isn’t it. Like those toilet roll covers that look like terrifying dolls.
June 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
Those things seriously freak me out.
What kind of person buys/makes those? Is it safe to eat or drink anything they offer you? Can I escape before they break out the clown makeup and start a sharing singalong?
June 9, 2011 at 11:21 am
My grandma had one. I got sonstipation every time I went to her house for more than a day because I couldn’t go with it watching me.
June 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
CONSTIPATION dammit. I swear I’m not an idiot.
June 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm
I always associate those with “The Jeffersons.” Louise cane back from a craft fair with a “Toilet Paper Tina.”
June 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
I grew up in the country. Almost every single one of my friends houses had one of these. I had to turn them around to pee. *shudder*
June 9, 2011 at 11:29 am
You had to turn them around to pee? I had an aunt who had those things. I thought they just covered the TP. I didn’t think they had internal plumbing.
June 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm
TP roll holder dolls give me nightmares. Just like clowns. Creep-tastic!
June 9, 2011 at 2:43 pm
I hate those doll covers. I would use the hell out of this one however
http://knittaporfavor.wordpress.com/2010/01/06/first-project-of-the-year/
June 9, 2011 at 6:25 pm
My grandmother used to make those things. One day I asked my mother why Nana felt the need to cover up the extra paper on the back of the toilet. She could never come up with a good answer.
June 9, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Crap that posted under the wrong thing. My Nana didn’t make Freddie toilet paper covers, she made Barbie ones.
June 9, 2011 at 11:02 am
NO WAIT! It was supposed to be a place to store your IPod/Blackberry while you wipe. OR the REAL coozy and you put your beer there while you pee. Figured it out.
June 9, 2011 at 11:06 am
Oh, yeah if she made me one that hung down and held an actual beer, I’d pay $7 for THAT. Possibly even $8. Make me something I can use, lady.
June 9, 2011 at 11:02 am
Dammit. Now I’m wishing I’d waited to sign up, so my handle could be “ChilledForAnalRefreshment.”
June 9, 2011 at 11:11 am
I believe you can change your handle.
June 9, 2011 at 11:02 am
What does “Flourish tho flawed” even mean? And what the hell is a “coozy” ?
June 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
isn’t that where Harry Potter buys his quills and parchment?
June 9, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Okay, but what does that have to do with tp?
June 9, 2011 at 11:24 am
I can’t answer your first question. But I am pretty sure “coozy” is a misspelled version of “cozy”, (like a tea cozy), which has inexplicably become popular. Even if I’m mistaken about its origin, I still hate the word. It sounds disgusting.
June 9, 2011 at 11:50 am
At least it is better than Kozy!
June 9, 2011 at 12:45 pm
Unless it’s Kozy Shack — their pudding RULES.
June 9, 2011 at 3:00 pm
YES! I hate that damn non-word so much! Here, put your drink in something that subliminally makes you think of oozing.
June 9, 2011 at 11:31 am
Here… I figured out what was wrong… Thanks Helen Killer
June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
Now I can see why it saves on toilet paper. That’s better.
June 9, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Coozie is a brand name for an insulated beer can cozy.
“Flourish tho flawed” is clearly an anagram of “fool, I draw the flush.”
June 9, 2011 at 2:11 pm
This is why I love you, Mapleleaves. Informative and funny.
June 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
I have a massive, massive phobia of tp not on a roll/dispenser: i don’t like the idea of someone manhandling the roll before i use it to wipe delicate areas. especially if you consider at least ONE person had to have double-wiped at some point in the roll’s life, which means the hand that did the wiping is now holding the entire roll of clean, fresh, virgin tp. tissue isn’t bulletproof, micropoop seeps through to the hands, hence one should always wash after. that’s a damn owl covered invisible feces collector right there.
June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
That is the reason preschools etc no longer want to use TP ROLLS for crafts
June 9, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Is this really true? Have they met preschoolers? Those rolls would probably be the cleanest thing they touch all day.
June 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Seriously… when a coworker tells me their kids helped make the cookies they brought in, I drop that cookie like it was a 50 lb. maggot.
June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
…Micropoop. Great, one more thing I’ll be thinking about all day at work.
June 9, 2011 at 11:31 am
Keep reading, Amazon. You can add “fecal mist” to the list of things you’ll think about all day. I know I have.
June 9, 2011 at 11:45 am
THANK YOU! I knew there was a justification for getting so pissed at my husband when he takes a magazine, disappears to the bathroom for a marathon shit session, then puts the fucking magazine back into household circulation. Fecal. Mist. I’m shivering and it’s 93 damn degrees here.
June 9, 2011 at 11:54 am
Gnommy, did you ever see the Seinfeld episode in the bookstore? George wanted to take a book into the men’s room, and when he came out he was charged for it. (When went to another branch, he couldn’t return it because it was in the system as having been taken into the bathroom.)
June 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Eep! I meant that “Keep reading” post as a reply to knittygritty. Amazon was the one who TOLD us about fecal mist.
June 9, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Great. I’m home sick with an intestinal parasite I picked up in China. Dread of the fecal mist of micropoop in my bathroom will probably delay my recovery.
June 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm
OMG there’s a NAME for it? Let’s all just admit to ourselves that we’re living in a miasma of fecal mist. Then we can sit down, have a warm Bud from our Kozy Cooze Coozy whatever the f- it’s called, and forget our troubles.
June 9, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Citybold, are good old born-in-America intestinal parasites too expensive for you? You had to go and get a cheap, made-in-China one? Well, all I can say is: You get what you pay for.
(And I’m sorry you’re sick.)
June 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Combine that with the fecal mist from being in sich close proximity to a flushing toilet, and you basically have a whimsical petri dish.
June 9, 2011 at 11:16 am
Should that petri dish have plastic carnation carbochons glued to it? That will give the microscopic fecal mist lots of extra nooks and crannies in which to settle and fester—and make it supercute at the same time!
June 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm
I thought that’s what the toothbrushes were for.
June 9, 2011 at 11:46 am
Can one make fecal mist glitter? It would then look like unicorn farts.
June 9, 2011 at 11:34 am
Adam and Jamie tackled the micropoop issue a while back:
http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbusters-surprise-toothbrush-minimyth.html
June 9, 2011 at 11:59 am
Many thumbs up. I do not have a phobia but I do know that if people have to keep lifting that lid that there are going to be some transfer issues. Also, unless that thing is washed in hot water each week – it will get nasty. That’s much more work than changing a role and a lot more germs. On the plus side, if you run out of paper, you can recyle you cozy into a designer wipe.
June 9, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Also, the need for frequent washing makes it less environmentally friendly, when they’re claiming that it’s more.
June 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
We’re operating under the ASSumption that it keeps the TP warm. Jason says there is nothing worse than frigid TP on a hot ass.
I know what he’s getting for his birthday.
June 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
add magic fairies that wipe your ass to this and I’m in.
June 9, 2011 at 11:04 am
I give that thing five minutes before the cat destroys it.
June 9, 2011 at 11:04 am
“Now listen here, you coooooozed up gypsy!”
-Master Shake
June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
According to Urban Dictionary, coozy (or coozie) can also mean a vagina, a slut or pubic hair. Take your pick.
June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am
Glad you looked it up in the proper place… I think it may be time to ask the seller which one it is….
June 9, 2011 at 1:09 pm
One friend always asks for “a coozy to put his beer in.” I told him that’s not what goes in mine!
June 9, 2011 at 11:04 am
“If it’s not broke, find a way to make it less functional than the original.”
…I’m pretty sure that’s how the quote goes?
June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
I would take the toilet paper out and just shit in the bag.
June 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
It seems owls are the new steampunk.
June 9, 2011 at 11:25 am
OMG…a steampunk toilet roll holder…now THAT is the dream stuff is made of!
June 9, 2011 at 11:29 am
It’s about damn time!
June 9, 2011 at 11:43 am
You could use it with a steampunk toilet.
June 9, 2011 at 11:44 am
On the other hand, this lightsaber toilet paper holder might be even geekier.
June 9, 2011 at 11:50 am
As an octopus, I’m simply tired of being the focal animal of the steampunk movement. Owls should have their turn in the glare of the spotlight.
A steampunk toilet would be awesome, though. We’re renovating our guest bathroom soon…maybe.
June 9, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Good luck figuring out how to flush that puppy when you’re so drunk that the owls on your toilet paper koozy are dancing in circles around your head singing “It’s a small world”.
June 9, 2011 at 12:39 pm
So only animals starting with O’s are steampunk?
June 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Kimoutre, you’ve nailed it. So, you and I can be ahead of the next trend of Steampunk…
…Ocelots
…Okapi
…Opossums
…Ostriches
And when they’re passe…we can start over from the beginning…
Steampunk Ovum!
June 9, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Great job, Mugsy Doodle! I live in the South, so roadkill possums are abundant. Shall I start on the opossum skull fascinators while you visit an ostrich farm to gather feathers?
June 9, 2011 at 2:55 pm
YOu forgot orangutan. Can’t you see one in a monolce and top hat (not sure if a mustache would show) – fabulous.
June 9, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Kimoutre–I’m not sure if there are any ostrich farms in NYC, but I’ll head for the Central Park Zoo right now…it’s cloudy and I’m short, so not even the ostriches will notice when I sneak in and pluck a few.
Aliceblue–thanks. I knew there had to be another one, but I couldn’t think. And orangutan would be perfect. The way you describe a steampunk one makes me wonder if you’re not a fan of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld book series: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Librarian_(Discworld)#Librarian I wouldn’t exactly call him steampunk, although he might get a chuckle out of it. If not, we’ll find a monacle-friendly one.
OK, team, we have our vision(s). The future (past) is ours!
June 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Dibs on otters.
June 9, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Darn you, Postmenopaws (TM). Well played, though. Well played!
June 9, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Ook, uh, I mean yes, yes I am Mugsy Doodle. I also love this quote from Monty Python, “You see, I don’t believe that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, and that’s been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.” (although the ape in the skit was a gorilla, not an O.)
June 9, 2011 at 11:48 am
If we are going steampunk I’d prefer a holder with tentacles – you could hang a roll on every octopus arm.
June 9, 2011 at 11:51 am
See. This is what I’m talking about.
But seriously, aliceblue, that would be so cool!
June 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm
If done well, that would be awesome!
June 9, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Well, I can’t say this is well done but you could use it as a prototype. I hope that you appreciate that I found both PINK TP & TP with googly eyes. Boy, weird people out there. Not like us. Ha ha, he he.
June 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Actually it may be the reverse, at least according to this person. You two can battle it out.
http://oldsoulhandmade.com/2010/08/09/is-the-octopus-the-new-owl/
June 9, 2011 at 5:04 pm
Well, crap. Where the hell have we been to have missed the height of the owl craze?
June 9, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Not hip enough I guess. Let’s congratulate ourselves for that.
June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
Okay, I could see if the thing that goes around the TP holder was longer, you could use it to store a spare roll, but that’s about it. What? We can’t be the only house who almost never bothers to put the TP on the holder, can we?
June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
June 9, 2011 at 11:11 am
I think thats like over stating the obvious.
June 9, 2011 at 11:11 am
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June 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
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June 9, 2011 at 11:19 am
Emalineisabear, please tell us what you really think. It’s unhealthy to hold it in.
June 9, 2011 at 11:21 am
You mean like everyone else is doing?
I could make some snarky jokes if you want, but there’s no point in even trying. The joke is that someone actually thought this was a good idea, and then made it. It’s a joke by just existing.
June 9, 2011 at 11:33 am
“The joke is that someone actually thought this was a good idea, and then made it. It’s a joke by just existing.”
Emalineisabear, welcome to the whimsical world of Etsy! Where have you been?
June 9, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I agree completely, there’s nothing funny about it! This was clearly not designed for use by potato-head bears or snarky drunks. So what the hell are we supposed to do now…
June 9, 2011 at 11:23 am
For nothing more needing to be said, you sure said alot.
June 9, 2011 at 11:40 am
Yes… and someone’s flounce is showing.
June 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Oh. I cannot look away.
June 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm
Take a deep breath, it’s going to be alright…
June 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
Save a tree. Wipe your ass with an owl(decorated TP cozy)
Looks to me like a purse or bag someone started and then gave up on. For under $10 you could have your very own craft abortion!
June 9, 2011 at 11:28 am
And don’t forget to use the talons for an extra deep clean!
June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
I forgot about the talons. Hmm, we’ll have to present them as something wonderful and useful and…
*evil grin appears on her face as the idea comes to mind…*
“New and Improved: Now with Hemorrhoid Cream Application Tips!!”
*smiles smugly and snickers…work here is done*
June 9, 2011 at 12:32 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rertpJPid1k
A discussion of Rabelaisian Bumwiping.
June 9, 2011 at 11:08 am
From the looks of that wall behind the toilet she shouldve used it as a rag to clean that shit up!
June 9, 2011 at 11:11 am
I’m mostly concerned about how far it sticks out, and thus is in the way of the toilet. One will have to reteach themselves how to aim for that toilet when in a late night drunken stupor…
June 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
Now you’ve mentioned it, it looks inconvenient for sitting, too.
June 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm
That was my first thought, too. The toilet paper would basically be sitting in the lap of everyone that sits on that toilet. A cheery thought.
June 9, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Ya, honestly if I had one I wouldn’t be surprised if any of my male friends decided to see how well it’d do at catching their piss.
June 9, 2011 at 11:12 am
Why is the “coozy” square at the bottom, and not, I don’t know, round like a roll of toilet paper?
June 9, 2011 at 11:26 am
that’s the biggest problem you see with the owl covered, ass-paper purse? That it’s not round? Hm.
June 9, 2011 at 11:33 am
By main comment #34, the big problems have already been covered. Time to nit-pick.
June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am
Seriously, it’s probably easier for the “crafter” to do squares. Round, would have required cutting and hemming a circle. Not difficult, but more work than she wanted to do.
June 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Thank you, Steampunk Octopus. It’s good when the later commenters actually read the stuff above them, rather than re-posting things that have already been said.
June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
Because that would be sensible, and therefore less whimsical.
June 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
This does have a use though – keeping the toilet paper from playful pets who like to unroll it! I can’t tell you how many times well-meaning guests put the toilet paper roll back on the rod just to have the dog ruin the roll.
June 9, 2011 at 11:37 am
Have you tried turning your roll around to unroll on the opposite side?
June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am
Or training the animals to stay away?
June 9, 2011 at 11:53 am
Keeping the door closed would work.
June 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
Steampunk Octopus: That makes sense, but I’ve known some animals who’ll scratch at a closed door for hours (when no one is home).
June 9, 2011 at 11:53 am
Or closing the door?
June 9, 2011 at 11:54 am
Great minds!
June 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
And yeah you’re saving toilet paper. Who is going to spend the additional time to remove the TP-from what I can only describe as a toilet paper hammock (patent pending??)-and then replace it? On second thought…I think I’ll wipe my ass with this nice, accessible hand towel.
June 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
Perhaps they should have picked a larger bathroom for snapping the product photo. Unless my glasses are dirty or I’m hung over, that coozy/pouch/whatever will be sitting on my leg as I’m sitting on the toilet.
June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has an issue with the toilet being that close to the wall.
June 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm
We just finished remodeling our bathroom (and, surprisingly, are still married!) so I know that here, at least, the space for the toilet has to be at least 36″ wide. (But that’s if you are using a licensed contractor…)
June 9, 2011 at 11:15 am
This will end the knockdown dragout debate on how to hang your TP. Should the paper roll out from over the top or from the back/bottom. Whichever position you take, I’ll take the opposite. Ann Landers is rolling over in her grave.
Oh and thanks for the micropoop, defiled virgin TP thing.
June 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm
It should hang the way that the person who actually bothers to replace the roll prefers.
June 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I want to print this out and hang it over the toilet.
June 9, 2011 at 11:15 am
Having something like this would just give my husband more of an excuse to use more than a quarter roll each time. My TP expenses are higher than they should be for two people.
June 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
Ours are high as well. But honestly? It’s better than the alternative.
June 9, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Yea… it’s kind of like our roommate who refuses to buy his own toiletries. I get annoyed throwing my old half-used bottles of body wash I’ve gotten bored with at him, but it’s better than being able to smell him all the way at the other end of the hallway after he’s been locked in his room playing D&D online for a week without bathing.
June 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
For anyone who cares, I think they are trying to make a pun on ‘tea cosy‘, but apparently they don’t know it’s ‘cosy’ and not ‘coozy’…
June 9, 2011 at 11:47 am
No, that’s a commonly-used word. It’s stupid, and I hate it, but people use it in all seriousness.
June 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm
I think “coozy” is a regional variation for “cosy”.
June 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm
There’s a pretentious twit I go to school with (though to be fair, art school is the #1 breeding ground for such people) who was incensed because someone stole her favourite “coozy.” Hearing her say the word over and over, on top of being so angry about it, made it absolutely impossible for me to take her seriously. Ever.
June 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
This looks almost passive-aggressive to me. “What, you’re too lazy to put a new roll of toilet paper on the spool when you’ve used up the last one? Fine, put it in THIS and let’s see how lazy you are!” Yeah, right; no way that’s gonna work.
June 9, 2011 at 11:38 am
Seriously. She should offer optional padlocking on the roll. Or a timed explosive thing. It could be like the Saw movies, but for pooping.
June 9, 2011 at 11:19 am
They misspelled whimsicle.
June 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
You, sir/madam/no gender to be specified (whichever is appropriate) are a true Regretsyian!
June 9, 2011 at 11:24 am
If I saw this in a bathroom, I’d look around for the hidden camera.
Come to think of it, I do that in every bathroom anyway.
June 9, 2011 at 1:11 pm
I appreciate and understand your paranoia.
June 9, 2011 at 11:25 am
So… this one made me register! Of all things.
Anyway, you know that old video with the cats happily rolling all the toilet paper off the roll? Well, that’s what I found my two-year-old daughter doing when I suddenly noticed it was suspiciously quiet in the house. This product might have helped prevent that…
Anyone have “childproofing the toilet paper” ideas that might actually work?
June 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
1. Time out.
2. Keep the door closed. She’s not good at doorknobs yet, is she?
3. Baby gate?
4. Grow eyes in the back of your head.
June 9, 2011 at 12:24 pm
4: I’m getting there!
June 9, 2011 at 12:37 pm
5) switch the toilet paper so it hangs in the improper “under” fashion. When kids go to spin it, the roll doesn’t shed paper that way. At least, that’s the lecture I got after flipping over the toilet paper roll at my sister’s house.
If you’re daughter’s a puller, than, no suggestions.
June 9, 2011 at 11:58 am
There is this: http://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-SAF-48413-Toilet-Paper/dp/B0014WQWDC/ref=pd_sim_t_4
That said, my twin toddlers figured that puppy out so fast it made my head spin. Good luck.
June 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I should also mention that having two toddlers meant that one could hold the little lever thing while the other unrolls. They are very good at teamwork when getting up to mischief. Maybe a single toddler would not be able to defeat it quite so easily.
June 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Even single toddlers are quite resourceful in un-childproofing. My ex’s friends, though, needed instruction in operating childproof bathroom devices.
June 9, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Kimoutre–that must have been so embarrassing for the children of your ex’s friends. I can imagine a bright 3-year-old shaking his head and saying, “Mommy, this is the LAST time I’m going to show you how to do this and NO you cannot hold the key–you keep losing it!” (OK, maybe an especially articulate 3-year-old. I don’t have kids.)
June 9, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Electric fence.
June 9, 2011 at 1:02 pm
I was trying to think of practical measures to take- My kids never did the TP thing… I had cats for that purpose.
You win.
June 9, 2011 at 11:30 am
I’m pretty sure that you can make a cozy for anything… a cozy for your beer, a cozy for your tea pot, a cozy for your tissues, a cozy for you adult sex toys.. ya know, that sorta thing.
June 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm
yes, but toilet paper cozies are traditionally crocheted by little old ladies, to look like poofey dresses worn by a Barbie doll, ala:
Perhaps the extra “o” makes it mean something different.
June 9, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Stop looking Barbie – I can’t go if I’m being stared at.
June 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm
That whore is SO judgmental for someone whose arms don’t bend at the elbow.
June 9, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Barbie looks rather startled, in the manner of one who’s just had something alarming shoved up her dress. A toilet roll would do that.
June 9, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Yellow and white are not a good combination for something covering toilet paper.
I suppose I should be grateful it’s not brown, too.
June 9, 2011 at 6:56 pm
I know those things are tacky, but I kind of like them. It might be because my grandmother used to make them when I was a kid.
June 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Truth. I absolutely have a vibe cozy. Sometimes the cock ring lives in there too. So they can hang out together when we’re not doin’ it.
June 9, 2011 at 3:12 pm
They need their own Toy Story!
June 9, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I know there are porn versons/take-offs (no pun) on a lot of popular shows and movies. Have they done a Toy Story one?
June 9, 2011 at 6:48 pm
I was thinking of making one for mine the other day. Should I crochet it? Or sew it out of fabric with a whimsicle print? Hmmm…
June 9, 2011 at 11:31 am
That owl has a disapproving look.
June 9, 2011 at 11:35 am
I was thinking it looks more like it is about to pass out (from fumes I assume).
June 9, 2011 at 11:39 am
If everyone used this product it would end the TP under/over debate forever, creating world peace.
June 9, 2011 at 11:48 am
Nah, because toilet paper on end raises the clockwise/counterclockwise issue.
June 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
I hate pooping. This makes me hate pooping even more.
June 9, 2011 at 11:43 am
First time commenter here… I just wanna say that Regretsy should be televised!! This shit is comedic genius!!!
June 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Televised from each of our dens, where we sit waiting for 4:40 to roll around so we can make a cocktail and be finishing it right before 5:01 so we can make our second respectfully poured drink? We would have to get out of our pajamas too….
Sounds like too much work.
June 9, 2011 at 11:47 am
Dang, it is already sold! She should have prepared for the fuckery masses…at only $7 a pop, we all could have owned a piece of whimsicle!
June 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm
If you REALLY want one, I’m pretty sure I can slap one together for you in about 10 minutes. I can find disapproving owls, octupi, you name it.
June 9, 2011 at 11:47 am
What I want to know is how it juts out from the hanger like that. It’s not hanging straight down, like one would expect.
June 9, 2011 at 11:49 am
Maybe it is hanging straight down, and the bathroom is tilted.
June 9, 2011 at 12:05 pm
This is why I love you angel drawers.
June 9, 2011 at 11:48 am
you know, if the thing that attached it to the roller was longer and two thin loops, one either end, and there was a flap to protect the roll, this would be a pretty cute way to store an extra roll where guests were sure to find it in case the roll on the roller between the loops ran out, cause hey, it sucks to be in someone’s house and have to yell “Where’s more toilet paper?” mid-dookie.
Of course I own any attempts to make this thing useful now… tm © etc….
June 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Well, it would be better than those crocheted dolls with the skirts that cover the rolls. Addled cupcake people would sit the fugly doll-covers on the toilet tank. Did they really think that something with eyes, located immediately behind you, (or directly in front for guys) is really what the bathroom needed?
June 9, 2011 at 1:21 pm
“mid-dookie”… for some reason that had me laughing hysterically!
June 9, 2011 at 11:52 am
“Things that come from nature and awesome fabric designs” – Favourite Materials.
Ah. That explains the combination.
June 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
I’m pretty sure people that don’t like to change the roll will dislike pulling the toilet paper out of this “coozy” every time they need to wipe.
That’s just my logical opinion of course haha
June 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Reminds me of this post:
http://www.regretsy.com/2011/04/02/weekend-flashback-wall-paper/#comments
What is with crafters and ass wipe these days?
June 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm
It would be faster to wipe your ass with the cozy. I am a very busy mother with no time for such luxuries as delicately lifting the scented roll of toilet tissue from the whimsicle cozy before daintily dabbing my waste from my bum. I’m a “tear and swipe” kind of mom, who’s lucky to take a shit without an audience of offspring. Why not fill the cozy with pre-cut sheets of tp? That would save some time – no need to bother with that pesky “tearing” process.
June 9, 2011 at 12:10 pm
I think I love you!
June 9, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Thing is, it looks like she could make something really cute. I just don’t understand what happens to a person that makes them decide sewing a tp cozy for the shitter is better than making kids clothes or something.
June 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm
The ONLY way to save TP using this “coozy”
June 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Meanwhile, on the other side of the tracks:
http://thereifixedit.failblog.org/2011/06/09/white-trash-repairs-dont-be-surprised-if-it-doesnt-flush/
June 9, 2011 at 12:49 pm
White trash decor!
June 9, 2011 at 1:08 pm
But at least its functional. They could have used hello kitty duck tape to kick it up a notch.
June 9, 2011 at 1:26 pm
That is the picture of shabulous, right?
June 9, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I have the matching belt.
June 9, 2011 at 12:29 pm
This is stupid.
Oh wait, that’s been said. I can see obvious ways to improve this if she really wants to save tp and get a reaction from guests.
As my boss used to say, I’m not a detail person, I’m a big idea person, so I won’t go into how to do this with her little item, but hey, the real entrepreneur tp saver would make this a coin operated deal – make guests pay a quarter per sheet and that would get a reaction. Would cover laundering costs too…
Plus it would be a real conversation starter over dinner. If guests stayed.
June 9, 2011 at 12:47 pm
My husband would STILL put it on the back of the toilet, or the floor, or the sink. Wouldn’t matter if it started out in the “coozy” or not. I have accepted the fact that I will be the only one to actually put a new roll on the holder for the rest of my life. It took a couple of years to get through all of the stages of grieving about it first, though.
June 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm
This is why we have our own bathrooms. Saves on the vitriol.
June 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm
I think the idea with this is to avoid the disaster when someone isn’t paying attention and turns around and knocks the damned roll of paper into the tub (which my kid invariably forgot to empty) or the toilet. Then you wind up with a big blob of nasty paper mache. Then again, you still have to remember to put it in the koozy… Yea never mind. It’s still useless.
June 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Despite the general uselessness of the item, I must say I love the fabric.
I totally want to make something for my owl-obsessed brother with it.
Non-toilet paper coozy related of coarse.
June 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Go nuts.
(Wish I could have found the exact print, but my Google-fu is failing me.)
June 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Finally:
(proof that I am an expert in time wasting.)
June 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I want this.
June 9, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Reminds me of this old joke:
A rabbit walks up to a bear that’s sitting next to a tree. The bear asks the rabbit, “Excuse me, but do you have a problem with shit being on your fur?”
The rabbit, thinking for a moment, replies “No, not at all.”
So the bear picks up the rabbit, and wipes his ass with him.
June 9, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Two points, based on previous comments:
1. Judging from my family’s in-laws, the doll-toilet-paper Cozies surfaced 1st at Lutheran crafts sales. They’re endemic there. A sign of pure evil too.
2. Okapis MUST be the next steampunk totem. Have you SEEN them? They’re perfect. They’re mere inches away from already having watch-gears for eyes.
On the topic of this “coozy:” advantage #1 of being a smoker is that you’re always carrying something to set travesties on fire.
June 9, 2011 at 1:58 pm
I must draw a steampunk okapi now.
June 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm
WOW! They bitch about being featured on regretsy…yet the price has doubled and they claim its for charity…how many of you actually believe that?
June 9, 2011 at 2:53 pm
I’m inclined to believe it. It’s not that different that HK using snark to raise funds.
June 9, 2011 at 2:53 pm
*than*
Oh well. Anyway, bravo to her!
June 9, 2011 at 2:53 pm
When all you get is free publicity, bad or otherwise, the only thing left to do is try to: a.) make the “bullies” feel bad because now it’s for charity, and b.) jack the price up as high as you think you can. The American Way! U.S.A! U.S.A.!!
June 9, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I was going to post about how much I liked their jewelry, but if they’re all butthurt about being featured on Regretsy, then…pffffffft. *Removes from Favorites*
June 9, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Ok she added a message about her listing appearing here but did not answer the Question of the Day: HOW DOES THIS SAVE ON TP?!
June 9, 2011 at 3:56 pm
My apologies if someone has already mentioned this (I have a bad headache, so only read about 2/3 of the replies before staring this spew), but…
PLEASE WASH YOUR BATHROOM WALLS AND TOILET LID BEFORE TAKING PICTURES OF THEM FOR POSTING ON THE INTERNET.
Thank you.
June 9, 2011 at 4:06 pm
I had really been hoping that my monitor was dirty and that was not what i was actually seeing. I was skerred of trying to examine it any further.
June 9, 2011 at 4:48 pm
The “coozy” (hate that non-word!) is photoshopped onto the TP holder. If you look, the shadow clearly shows a roll on the holder with a few squares hanging down.
Which begs the question: How nasty must her own bathroom be that she thought this dirty stand-in would be preferable?
June 9, 2011 at 6:10 pm
LOL at that crafter and her weird urge to whimsify everything. I wonder if she has matching covers for the trash bin, so that the toilet paper whimsy cycle is complete. CUTENESS YAY.
(To the sarcasm impaired, that was sarcasm)
June 9, 2011 at 6:15 pm
This is a brilliant idea! My toilet paper gets so chilly in the winter.
June 9, 2011 at 8:02 pm
So, who was the poopitrator?
June 9, 2011 at 8:23 pm
I’m pretty sure the term “anal refreshment” almost made me have an anal refreshment.
June 10, 2011 at 6:19 am
“Coozy” is Minnesotan/Canadian for “cozy.” The fact that this is what they do with their toilet paper explain an awful lot…
June 10, 2011 at 6:58 am
I totally make sounds like a garbage truck in reverse when I am backing up to wipe my ass on that thing!
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
June 10, 2011 at 10:08 am
June 10, 2011 at 10:48 am
Holy shit. These people are from my hometown…Way to represent Parsons, ladies.
June 12, 2011 at 8:42 pm
So tempted to make one for my bathroom, will email April a photo when done lol