Fallen Arches
UPDATE: 5/30/11
FROM: Alissa
TO: Helen@Regretsy.com“This post was my favorite on Regretsy for a long time. I used it as an introductory lesson to get my friends into the site. One of my closest friends presented the piece to me as the best birthday present ever.
I’ve attached a picture of it displayed proudly in my current bedroom. I still need my dream home where I can have this piece truly fulfill its potential. I’m thinking it really needs a laminated description from the artist, as this is museum quality work.
Regretsy – never forget.
- Alissa”
May 30, 2011 at 9:34 am
I particularly like how the seller let’s us know that “9/11″ was “our nation’s tragedy” because, you know, we’d never remember that.
May 30, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Oh, was that the date they took away the McRib?
May 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I’ve actually had the McLobster, that’s a rarity in my country and it makes others jealous
May 30, 2011 at 5:06 pm
The whole concept makes me Grimace
May 30, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Explains why you are blue in the face.
June 1, 2011 at 4:27 am
the whole concept makes me hungry… I just need some freedom fries and some chocolate covered bacon and I’m set…
May 30, 2011 at 9:36 am
McMuck Off.
May 30, 2011 at 11:04 am
A McDouble with a side of “Say What?!”
May 30, 2011 at 9:37 am
This is pretty funny.
I like how I can look at his website for free, too.
Wish I lived in chicago. I could go for some tea and scones.
May 30, 2011 at 10:17 am
i’m confused, because i do live near chicago and was thinking this could be a fun field trip, but the address in the contact section of his website is seattle…
May 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm
http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/october2010/NEUX%20PAINTINGS/no_parking.htm
According to his website, which I viewed for free, he moved to Seattle.
May 30, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Lucky old Seattle.
May 30, 2011 at 10:19 am
My thoughts exactly. Let’s just go for a visit and stay until he runs out of scones. My diet is already pretty horrible, so I can live on that shit, no problem.
May 30, 2011 at 11:12 am
He lives in an alternate universe where Seattle is Chicago.
May 30, 2011 at 11:50 am
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May 30, 2011 at 9:38 am
OK, thumb me down, but I kind of like this one.
May 30, 2011 at 10:17 am
I’d like it more if I knew it was on barnwood – not just wood.
May 30, 2011 at 10:20 am
Seems realistic.
May 30, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Yeah, this guy is funny – I’m still looking through his website but he’s a thinker. I’d keep him around.
May 30, 2011 at 9:39 am
New Rule: if you have to explain your failed attempt at ironic juxtaposition in your art, you don’t get to be an artist anymore.
May 30, 2011 at 10:02 am
O.K., I’m more street smart than book smart, so if I beat the ever-living-shit out of this artist with a giant Dildo would that be ironic juxtaposition, or just satisfying and funny?
May 30, 2011 at 10:18 am
Just satisfying and funny. Beating him with McDonalds’ trash would be slightly more ironic.
Beating him with my Stay Pufft Marshmallow Man doll would be even more ironic since at least that corporate icon trashing a city was done well and you could tell the buildings were supposed to be NYC.
May 30, 2011 at 10:30 am
This is one of the many reasons I love Regretsy, It makes learning FUN. We need a Regretsy University.
May 30, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Whimsicle Fuckery U.
May 30, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Now THAT’S a painting I would buy.
May 30, 2011 at 2:24 pm
It could be irnoic if you used a Dildo that looks like Ronald McDonald, or maybe a french fry.
May 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Either way I’d pay to see that.
May 30, 2011 at 5:14 pm
That’s called “performance art”.
May 30, 2011 at 10:41 am
Much I am inclined to agree, I think the description is infinitely more entertaining than the painting itself. His other stuff isn’t all that bad – it strikes me as very hip. Or maybe I’m just not cool, something like that.
May 30, 2011 at 10:48 am
Oh definitely, the description is the best part. So he has a promising career as a catalog writer, but not as an artist.
May 30, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Or he can teach writing lessons to Etsians. Except McDonald’s doesn’t serve coleslaw.
May 30, 2011 at 9:41 am
Apparently looking is free, but touching is extra. =p
May 30, 2011 at 9:47 am
And the drinks are really expensive!
. . .oh, wait. . .we’re talking about this piece of ‘art’, aren’t we?
May 30, 2011 at 9:52 am
Maybe? Either way, I really enjoy a good art whoring. <3
May 30, 2011 at 9:43 am
In my alternate universe I get to choke the idiots who think 9/11 is some kind of a joke.
May 30, 2011 at 10:30 am
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May 30, 2011 at 9:43 am
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May 30, 2011 at 11:48 am
Nothing is sacred in the realm of art, or fuckery.
May 30, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Huh?
May 30, 2011 at 1:31 pm
I know, nothing’s more evil than using humor to deal with tragedy. We’re all going to hell, but at least I’ve got a window seat.
May 30, 2011 at 9:48 am
How does that old song go?
Oh beautiful, for arched skies
And amber waves of fries.
For purple Grimace majesty
Above the stomach pains.
McMerica, McMerica,
A clown says I should eat.
And slurp your food with a big push
Busting out of our seams.
Always brings a tear to my eyes.
May 30, 2011 at 10:45 am
May 30, 2011 at 10:56 am
That looks like a fish, even has a spot for an eye.
May 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Holy crap, I hadn’t noticed! It also begs the question – is there any fish product in McNuggets?
June 1, 2011 at 2:36 am
Well, if my harbor tour guide is to be believed, they bind all the bits together with fish paste.
May 30, 2011 at 10:59 am
That’s spectacular. It even sticks out on the East coast for Jersey. Washington seems to have been amputated, though.
May 30, 2011 at 11:11 am
Canada stole it.
May 30, 2011 at 3:31 pm
We sold it to the Hipsters.
May 30, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Florida seems somewhat tumescent. Short, though.
May 30, 2011 at 11:01 am
I kind of want chicken nuggets now.
May 30, 2011 at 3:33 pm
You can get 20 for $5 around here. Go get you some nuggets!
May 30, 2011 at 12:09 pm
needs a heart punched through it so you can sell it as a pendant. Watch out for Urban Outfitters though…
May 30, 2011 at 12:45 pm
Nemo?
May 30, 2011 at 2:41 pm
ICK – had ONE of those once as a kid and that is something my stomach will never forget.
May 30, 2011 at 5:16 pm
They actually improved their nuggets several years ago. Now they just taste like fried bland.
May 30, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Yup. No more bits of tendon.
May 30, 2011 at 11:09 am
instead of AMEN at the end OF THE SONG, a simple NAMASTE BITCHES! would be perfect
May 30, 2011 at 9:58 am
Can I get it with an eagle crying a glittery tear?
May 30, 2011 at 10:30 am
Or would a crying chicken be more appropriate?
May 30, 2011 at 10:47 am
A sad, sad cow is more like it.
May 30, 2011 at 8:24 pm
with a gun
May 30, 2011 at 9:58 am
And I thought McDonald’s was tasteless before…
May 30, 2011 at 10:13 am
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May 30, 2011 at 10:32 am
And do you think this “art” was commissioned by McDonald’s HQ?
May 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm
It has a taste. It tastes like sugar and fat.
May 30, 2011 at 7:07 pm
And salt. And preservatives.
May 30, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Yummy, yummy preservatives…
May 30, 2011 at 10:05 am
Check out that guys website for a painting of two hotdogs crashing into the Marina Towers…
May 30, 2011 at 10:25 am
There’s also two bananas crashing into twin soft-serve cones. What a never-ending laff-riot. Pardon me while I get a bucket.
May 30, 2011 at 10:05 am
This is also from his shop. Notice how in the alternate universe ironic humor about dead jews is so funny!
May 30, 2011 at 10:12 am
That. Is. AWESOME.
May 30, 2011 at 10:12 am
Shouldn’t they replace the awning with rafter beams?
May 30, 2011 at 2:29 pm
No, it should be made out of pages from the Diary.
May 30, 2011 at 4:14 pm
dammit alice….you beat me to it. I would have said that but I was at a Memorial Day cook-out.
Kind of ironic, in an alternative reality kind of a way, now that I think of it. We were eating hot dogs. They weren’t kosher.
May 30, 2011 at 10:20 am
But wait! There’s an artist’s description of this one, too!
Here’s a painting of an advertisement for a fictional business called Anne’s Franks. This company was started by a New York businessman with his ear to the ground. He thought he could capitalize on the success of the best selling book The Diary Of Anne Frank, but he was wrong, people were very mad and got very offended! Later he started an ice cream shop called The Dairy Of Anne Frank but that shop too was deemed a failure. He because a CPA instead because that’s a solid way to make some serious money.
Dude. Did you write this during study hall?
May 30, 2011 at 10:30 am
His stuff would be funnier if he wasn’t following Etsy’s writing guidelines. He may even have taken a course.
May 30, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Translation: I am a giant fucktard.
May 30, 2011 at 10:42 am
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May 30, 2011 at 11:53 am
I have relatives who died in the Holocaust. I think this is hilarious as fuck. I don’t think anything should be immune to satire, even bad satire. But hey, that’s just me.
May 30, 2011 at 1:12 pm
You’re right. I don’t think it’s funny but neither was I, being over sensitive and posting without snark when I could have just kept scrolling!
May 30, 2011 at 1:16 pm
I’m discussing with my husband why this seems funny while the printing on the book pages wasn’t. I think that this is really really dark, intentionally pushing-the-envelope humor which makes your mouth fall open and then you giggle a bit in shock. The artist is in on the joke. The other was just ignorance. Plain, simple ignorance.
May 30, 2011 at 10:06 am
At least if you go to visit you’ll get tea AND scones…no joke!
May 30, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I don’t think I’d trust his food.
May 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm
or his “tea”
May 30, 2011 at 10:07 am
I really need commission this artist for a Walmart Trade Center painting.
May 30, 2011 at 10:07 am
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May 30, 2011 at 5:19 pm
How do you picture an accent?
May 30, 2011 at 5:53 pm
My migraine-plagued mind is thinking that maybe there are tiny Union Jacks in the Os. That may just be the pain talking though.
May 30, 2011 at 10:08 am
I love how they added NO JOKE, as if I wouldn’t believe they’d make tea and scones.
May 30, 2011 at 10:23 am
Yes, like the tea and scones part is the most unbelievable.
May 30, 2011 at 10:09 am
I live in Chicago but there is no way I’m eating his “scones”.
May 30, 2011 at 10:09 am
I own a piece by him. It’s hanging in my bedroom. It’s a delightful picture of Ohio. He’s an absolute pleasure to work with.
May 30, 2011 at 10:11 am
Oh! I also forgot that when I gave him my address, it turned out that he graduated from my high school, which was really a weird coincidence.
May 30, 2011 at 10:11 am
I do like his shop banner though….that’s the best thing he has goin’ on. :S
May 30, 2011 at 10:11 am
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May 30, 2011 at 10:11 am
Okay, okay, okay. We get that you’re “creative” and have a lot of “ideas” about “consumerism,” but I’m going to need you to back away from the paints, k?
May 30, 2011 at 10:12 am
that’s funny.
because in the alternate universe that i occasionally visit, 9/11 is just another square on the wall calendar and the whole damned thing didn’t happen.
i’ll take that whopper, now, please.
May 30, 2011 at 10:14 am
5/30/10?
May 30, 2011 at 10:39 am
Whoops, fixed it. I can’t even blame the booze for that one.
May 30, 2011 at 10:15 am
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May 30, 2011 at 8:00 pm
And that’s why it’s here on Regretsy.
May 30, 2011 at 10:15 am
You have a studio? Aren’t you 8 years old? What am I missing?
May 30, 2011 at 10:18 am
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May 30, 2011 at 2:32 pm
The scones are probably stale McD biscuits.
May 30, 2011 at 10:16 am
This guy is insane in the McMembrane.
May 30, 2011 at 10:17 am
The description is pretty brilliant in its weirdness. Not all that funny, but original.
I know I’ll get thumbed down into oblivion for saying that, but oh well. It was my first thought.
May 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Never count on that…
May 30, 2011 at 10:19 am
mmm, i love derek erdman’s work, top notch chap
May 30, 2011 at 10:34 am
I agree. I bought a piece of his for a friend of mine and she was thrilled.
May 30, 2011 at 10:20 am
SOME of his paintings on his website are *kind of* cute. I like the Gene Wilder Wonka hat and the infinity symbol no parking thing. The majority of the portraits of people though are frightening.
May 30, 2011 at 10:22 am
I like how, in his tags, he has “911″ and “ever forget”.
May 30, 2011 at 10:22 am
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May 30, 2011 at 2:25 pm
And that’s why I’m never invited to tea and scones.
June 1, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Aaaand a few days later I must apologize for *my* jackass comment. The guy does have talent. Unfortunately, 9/11-oriented humor tends to stir up the weird remnants of redblooded American in me, which manifest themselves in redblooded jackassery.
May 30, 2011 at 10:24 am
This guy’s got scones, all right.
May 30, 2011 at 10:25 am
May 30, 2011 at 12:19 pm
I’m sorry….but I love this.
I love this his work…the artistry of the McMembrance one is terribad, but the rest of his stuff is awesome.
May 30, 2011 at 2:45 pm
To me it looks more like ice cream sex than 911. Must mean that I’m hungry, or maybe horny.
May 30, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Are the two mutually exclusive?
May 30, 2011 at 7:10 pm
No.
May 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm
This is offensive and amusing that the same time. I’m having some trouble reconciling the two.
May 30, 2011 at 10:27 am
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May 30, 2011 at 10:33 am
No one bought this for me. Alissa bought it for herself.
May 30, 2011 at 11:48 am
Well, how’s that for reading comprehension? Please direct my comment to Alissa.
May 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Besides, HK doesn’t do yardsales. She does mutha-fucking RAPTURE GIVEAWAYS!
May 30, 2011 at 10:29 am
I just have to say one thing:
FEAR THE BEARD!
That is all.
May 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm
I don’t know what that means. But I’ve been scared of Santa Claus since I was very small. May have something to do with the beard?
May 30, 2011 at 11:00 am
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May 30, 2011 at 11:40 am
I beg to differ, actually. I think that while it inspires an immediate knee jerk reaction, it isn’t without artistic merit. After 9/11, Bush stressed carrying on with life as if nothing had happened.
A quote from a Washington Post article: “Get down to Disney World in Florida,” he urged just over two weeks after 9/11.
The two became inextricably linked. Commemorative t-shirts and mugs are being sold at Ground Zero as we speak. Commerce and tragedy definitely walk hand in hand.
May 30, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Well said.
But as I recall, Bush went a step further than that. He didn’t just say to carry on as if nothing had happened. He said that the patriotic thing to do was to go out to buy more stuff to keep the economy moving. If capitalism fails, the terrorists win!
May 30, 2011 at 6:54 pm
… Which is pretty much exactly what Warriotwo points out in the comment directly below this one. That’s what I get for responding before finishing reading the thread.
May 30, 2011 at 12:22 pm
You seem to be missing the point of art, which is to process that which is culturally relevant, and/or universally felt, and in most cases to draw attention to an aspect of its subject that you might not have thought of. Of course a lot of art offends people. (And when it does it’s probably supposed to.) Not that I’m saying this is great art or anything, or that it even works, but I will agree with the artist, a lot of what came after 9/11 was a patriotic grandstanding which goes hand in hand with consumer culture. Don’t forget that afterwards, Bush strongly encouraged us all to go out and spend money to support America.
May 30, 2011 at 12:34 pm
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May 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Stop pointing out facts? Honey, the world doesn’t spin for you.
May 30, 2011 at 2:12 pm
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May 30, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Then we’re talking about two completely different things.
May 30, 2011 at 8:33 pm
I want art to be pretty! *FLOUNCE*
May 30, 2011 at 11:02 am
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May 30, 2011 at 11:12 am
Derek Erdman is a national treasure. He’s been writing for The Stranger for a while now, and is always entertaining.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author?oid=4084073§ion=Blogs (The best ones are “Caperin’”
If you don’t see the greatness in this painting you should maybe loosen up a little. Do some stretches. Take an Aleve.
May 30, 2011 at 11:42 am
This is why we should like what we like instead of liking what others tell us we should like.
May 30, 2011 at 1:29 pm
We’re talking about an event that resulted in thousands of deaths. Or with the “Ann’s Franks” painting, millions.
I’m not offended by them, but I don’t think people who are need to lighten up, either.
May 30, 2011 at 11:34 am
I like to imagine an alternate reality in which the terrorists had been Polish…
…and no one was injured.
May 30, 2011 at 1:11 pm
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May 30, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Dirigible safety has advanced quite a bit since 1937–especially in my alternate reality.
May 30, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Touché!
May 31, 2011 at 7:59 pm
But the that’s a blimp! Dirigibles have a rigid interior structure!
*Oh gawd, I am such a nerd^.^
May 31, 2011 at 8:00 pm
But this .gif made me giggle like a little schoolgirl. I want to hug it and squeeze it and make it my own^.^
May 31, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Sorry, that’s zeppelins that have the rigid interior structure, not dirigibles. Can I blame the meds?
I’ll stop spamming now^.^
May 31, 2011 at 8:22 pm
@PrairieSquid – If you’re planning on squeezing my dirigible, the least you could do is buy me a drink first.
June 1, 2011 at 5:12 pm
It’s worth noting that blimps aren’t filled with Hydrogen, which was the big problem with the Hindenburg.
May 30, 2011 at 11:39 am
OK, so the 9/11 painting is in bad taste, but seriously, this guy is hilarious. Paul McCartney eating a banana (“He divorced a one legged woman”)? Bill Cosby with a snake tongue? Sally Field is Sybil (looking like Sylvia Plath with a bad case of small pox)? What’s not to love? I think I need a wall of these in my office just to freak people out (I work for a fine arts museum).
May 31, 2011 at 7:26 am
I honestly thought that was a painting of Justin Beiber at first, and the “eating a banana” part totally made sense.
May 30, 2011 at 11:40 am
I wish my friends would buy me awesome fuckery.
May 30, 2011 at 11:56 am
Man, I was on the fence about this dude, but then I read the description for this:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/58985739/dog-gone-dog
and now I think we need to have a beer.
May 30, 2011 at 11:57 am
I think he’s hilarious. Knew people who died that day, so…maybe this isn’t the painting for me, but the rest of his work is often very funny.
May 30, 2011 at 12:23 pm
OH! I love that you’ve rerun this. Derek is a good friend of mine — he’s done lots of amazing things like make a documentary about visiting the Gathering of the Juggalos and this: http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/july2009/WINDSWEPT_LOOKS/YAMJD.jpg
sorry, HTML escapes me.
I met him when I paid him to write a revenge rap about my ex-boyfrend, then call him and rap at him (the bastard). he’s since located to Seattle, but if you look at his website, there are many useful services available.
http://www.derekerdman.com/
May 30, 2011 at 12:32 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/58985971/death-is-wack
“I was going to call it “Death Is Gay” because people get really mad when people use the word “gay” like that, but when I ran it by my roommate she said that was dumb. I changed it to “wack” because that’s SO MUCH BETTER.”
I’ll have what he’s smoking. This guy, I kind of like him.
May 30, 2011 at 12:41 pm
This seems like a guy who will enjoy being featured on Regretsy. And considering vodka was mentioned in the dog painting, he just may be a member of Regretsy!
May 30, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Or should be.
May 30, 2011 at 12:44 pm
I have to admit I find it odd that he has to explain that the painting is from an “alternate universe,” as though he’s trying to soften the blow of an image which could be seen as patently offensive to the viewer. It sort of ruins the entire ballsiness of it (if one may coin a term).
What would otherwise be a raw critique of contemporary capitalism becomes rather diluted and kitsch.
I know a lot of you enjoy the brand of humor, but it doesn’t speak to me. So I’m going to take my beret and move to the functioning toilet sculptures portion of the gallery.
May 30, 2011 at 1:20 pm
I dunno, I kind of like the idea of a painting that transports me to an alternate universe when I look at it.
I would choose a different subject, though. Probably zeppelins. Alternate universes ALWAYS have zeppelins.
May 31, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Well, that’s because zeppelins are awesome^.^
June 1, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Zeppoles are awesome, too. Delicious fried dough with powdered sugar….mmmmm.
June 1, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I know, riiiight?:)
May 30, 2011 at 12:53 pm
I don’t guess it really matters, but the painting at the top is not the same painting displayed in the bedroom photo.
May 30, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Hey Seattlites! Check out this awesomeness! He’s offering free drawings of Carol Channing to anyone living in Seattle (proof of residency required)
http://www.derekerdman.com/ilovemilkshakes/october2010/la_belle_jar/CC/free_drawings_of_carol_channing.htm
May 30, 2011 at 1:58 pm
That is awesome! I wish I lived in Seattle.
May 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm
I was stoked to buy this because I live in Chicago and want scones and tea. And then I learned my dream would never come true because someone already owns it.
May 30, 2011 at 1:23 pm
But he has more! Lots of his paintings come with the same offer.
He seems to live in Seattle, though. Must be a hell of a commute.
May 30, 2011 at 5:38 pm
He definitely lives in Seattle, he’s a customer where I work – seems like a nice enough guy, but I never knew he did art.
May 30, 2011 at 1:28 pm
He even has a new and improved version:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/22741921/911-in-mcmembrance-number-5
It also comes with a free offer of tea and scones.
May 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm
As someone pointed out, the one that was purchased clearly isn’t the one shown on the shot from the site–so he may produce multiples of these.
Which you can understand, because once you’ve worked out the details, these clearly aren’t too hard to churn out, and something this grotesquely awesome could hardly be produced too many times.
May 30, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Between “OK, GET THIS” and “Also, I have an internet website: http://www.derekerdman.com. You can look at it for free,” I’m pretty sure this dude’s item description was pretty self-aware, rather than coleslaw inspired.
May 30, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Whatever Erdman’s alleged sins against art or taste, he created this, and for that I will always love him.
May 30, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Oh, a THOUSAND TIMES THIS.
May 30, 2011 at 3:38 pm
the golden arches got me !!! THANK YOU GARY LARSON
May 30, 2011 at 3:52 pm
OT (sorta) but Rap. Master. Maurice! (“Some people call me”?).
May 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Most of his things are not my style but I LOVE this one – can we send it to the Etsy Admins?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/20718535/wrap-it-up
May 30, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Wait, those are 2 different paintings! Or am I crazy? The clouds are totally different.
May 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm
I like how her friend bought her that painting.
Which made me think…
I went to his website to “see his art for free” and he has some nice Bear paintings. I think we should all buy a bunch of them and have them shipped to Stephen Colbert.
June 1, 2011 at 2:10 am
I LOVE this artist. Thanks for introducing me to his art.
June 1, 2011 at 10:40 am
And she’s a giants fan. <3 *swoon*
June 1, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Supersize my grief?