Save the Date!
As you probably know by now, Saturday is the end of the world.
It’s true! I’ve been seeing it on billboards all over town. They actually say SAVE THE DATE on them, which is kind of fantastic when you think about it. I mean how could you miss it? Shit! The rapture was this Saturday? I knew I shouldn’t have gone to Laughlin!
The point is, since it’s our last day on earth, I’m going to go nuts. What the hell? It’s not like I’ll feel bad about it on Sunday, when THE WORLD IS OVER.
I’ve decided to just give everything away. I have tons of shit over here, and you can have it. Jewelry, samplers, books, art… it’s all yours. Where I’m going, the streets are paved with Xanax, and Revlon products grow on trees. Or maybe that’s Melanie Griffith’s website.
Think of it as live blogging the apocalypse. Every few hours I’ll put up more shit, and it’s first come first serve. It’ll be such fun! You, me, and the end of the world. Weee!
May 18, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Tease.
May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Seriously. I want April’s stuff. :/
May 18, 2011 at 6:58 pm
i think i’m in love with her
May 18, 2011 at 7:28 pm
If it turns out you can get April’s stuff, join me and lots of other fun people at Post Rapture Looting:
https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699
May 18, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Can’t is what I meant. Not can.
May 18, 2011 at 8:10 pm
I call dibs on the balaclavas!!!!!
May 18, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I call dibs on Bronc.
May 19, 2011 at 9:24 am
I call dibs on her 3D portrait.
May 19, 2011 at 10:32 am
i want that collage. it’d look great in my bathroom
May 19, 2011 at 12:36 am
“It’s the end of the world as we know it – but I feel fine”
Michael Stipe=Nostradamas
May 18, 2011 at 6:23 pm
I’m so happy the world is ending on Saturday. I have to work 6am on Sunday. Eff that shit.
May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
I have to work on Saturday; I’m bummed I’m going to miss the end of the world.
May 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Just offer to buy everyone lunch and be all, like, “yeah, so I’ll be back in a half hour…”
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I’m doing an art show Saturday, I hope people are spending like the world is coming to an end
May 18, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I’m coming in to the office on Saturday and then, after the Rapture (either 6 p.m. Eastern or Pacific time–people have differing opinions), I’m going to a Kinky Prom party at a bdsm club. If I’m going to hell, I may as well enjoy the ride!
May 18, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Gee, all I promised to do was call my mom at 6 (or whenever it’s an hour after it supposedly happens). She and my dad will be at Mass during the rapture – since we’re Catholic, I don’t have to worry about them being hoovered to heaven.
May 19, 2011 at 9:27 am
SpyGlassez, I was raised Catholic (stopped practicing decades ago) and remember the shock I had when my principal pointed out that Catholics were not Christians (they don’t venerate Mary). A few years ago, the new pope announced that ONLY Catholics would ascend into Heaven. I have my doubts, too, so I plan on a late night.
May 19, 2011 at 10:34 am
according to the man who started this whole may 21st thing, it should end at 6 pm in each respected time zone. kind of like, a rolling end of the world, if you will
May 19, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Mugsy I am totally jealous of Kinky Prom. On the other hand, I’ll be heading to a Star Wars barbecue, which should be similarly awesome. (Sadly I have not yet thrown together my Darth Kink costume or I’d split the difference.)
May 18, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I hate to burst your bubble, but technically it’s just judgement day on Saturday. The world doesn’t end until October. So provided the “mass chaos” that ensues after ALL FLIPPING 5 qualifying people are taken in the rapture doesn’t cause too much mayhem in your area… you still have work.
May 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Darn.
May 19, 2011 at 9:03 pm
Given the situation, I think “Damn” is more appropriate.
May 18, 2011 at 6:58 pm
Every day is Judgement Day at Regretsy!
May 24, 2011 at 2:25 pm
yay! April used my comment as a title today. I feel so deliciously used!
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
May 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm
I could hear the notes on the trombone.
May 18, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I have to work on Saturday, but I’ll be the only person there. So whether there’s a Rapture or not won’t really affect my day.
Like all things, I’ll just have to keep checking Twitter.
May 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Yeah. That’s the thing. I think there are probably 5 people on the planet that deserve rapture. Who the hell will notice. Anyways, the rest of us deserve raptors.
May 19, 2011 at 12:04 am
Oooooh, raptors! I want a hawk so I can train it to divebomb my enemies and scare the crap out of them!
May 18, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Man, I hope this thing doesn’t turn out to be Y2K all over again. What a letdown that was.
May 19, 2011 at 12:05 am
I bet some people still have food left.
May 19, 2011 at 9:12 am
It’s the same people who stockpiled for Y2K without understanding what it was that’re afraid of all this “Judgement Day” nonsense.
Besides, where I live they’ve cut way back on the waterworks budget. The water turning to blood would actually be an improvement.
May 19, 2011 at 10:36 am
i read an article in the Seattle Times last week about a man who started a company to adopt ppls pets after the rapture happens. he is an atheist, he has hired all atheists to be the pet care givers. i think his plan is genius
May 19, 2011 at 10:48 am
Do we still get their cats if it turns out a false alarm? I gotta sign uup!
May 18, 2011 at 7:13 pm
I was really looking forward to it, but I’ll be on a plane crossing the international date line, so I’m gonna miss the whole thing. Damn it all to hell…
May 18, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Better hope your pilot isn’t raptured.
May 19, 2011 at 4:08 am
Meh, the big jets are so “high tech” these days, they practically fly themselves. Just log some hours on Flight Simulator and you’ll be fine. That’s what the movies tell us after all!May 19, 2011 at 9:13 am
Free plane. ; )
May 18, 2011 at 7:46 pm
I’m graduating, packing up all my worldly possessions, and then stuffing my face with celebratory cheeseburgers and beer. Can the world end during the packing portion of the day?
May 19, 2011 at 6:43 am
I have next week off but I won’t get to enjoy it.
Cheers, Jesus.
May 18, 2011 at 6:23 pm
I can think of a million things in your amazing collection I would like to have.
May 18, 2011 at 6:24 pm
I call dibs on Bronc.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Fuck.
May 19, 2011 at 1:46 am
Well that’s an option, now you mention it…
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Oo, I call Mike! I’m assuming you asked him over for drinks and locked him away in your basement. That’s what I would have done anyway.
May 18, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Damn, I wanted him. Sharesies?
May 18, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Ok, I call dibs on April.
May 18, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Shit.
May 18, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Calling dibs on the House sampler.
May 18, 2011 at 9:43 pm
I’ll thumb-wrestle you for it.
May 19, 2011 at 9:29 am
You’re on! I have good upper-body strength. You’re going down and I’m going home with House!
May 18, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I call dibs on her vicodin.
May 18, 2011 at 6:58 pm
I think that should be a set with the House sampler
May 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I’ll take Bronc. Talk about your Rapture.
May 18, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Sorry, Huey; I apparently
blocked outmissed your post.May 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm
You two can share, can’t you?
May 19, 2011 at 4:24 am
He’s not made of soap. He won’t wear out. I was rather hoping we could form a neat, orderly line to be serviced.
Then again, I’ve been snorting nutmeg all day, so I could be wrong about this.
May 19, 2011 at 9:33 am
Poops, I like your style, especially the nutmeg part. Are you a professonal cook? I was working on a desserts cookbook manuscript and a recipe to serve 4 asked for 1/2 cup of nutmeg. I phoned the author and asked if that’s the correct amount. He laughed so hard he started coughing. “You put that much nutmeg in a recipe and you’ll be peeling them off the ceiling! In that quantity nutmeg is a hallucinogenic!” He insisted I change it to 1/2 teaspoon…and I went away with some very interesting info!
May 19, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Hmmm… really?
——-> wandering back to the spice rack…
May 18, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Dang it Hamster…I didn’t see this and echoed your sentiment in a post above, but after you did it. So technically you called it first. Boo.
May 18, 2011 at 6:24 pm
We need a bathtub full of beer and several pounds of gunpowder for this party.
May 18, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Forget that, if the world is ending I want cocaine and a nuke.
May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Are you sure this isn’t the Vicodin talking?
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I reckon. Goddamn, don’t give your shit away! You’ve got such a collection of badassery.
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
That might be part of it.
May 18, 2011 at 8:11 pm
I like the way your Vicodin talks.
May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
I’ll be there with bells on!
May 18, 2011 at 6:44 pm
How much for the bells?
May 18, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Are they vintage? handcrafted?
May 18, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I read that “with balls on”.
This site does weird things to the mind.
May 18, 2011 at 9:28 pm
ME TOO! I was excited.
May 19, 2011 at 12:09 am
That’s balls out, AntB. Don’t you know you’re supposed to wear your special panties to the pre-rapture grabfest?? Men – the balls out ones, women – the vulva ones. Proper attire, please!!
May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
I’d invite you to the post-rapture looting but that seems counter intuitive to your goal here.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
I already accepted that invite on FB days ago.
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
same here! Can’t wait.
I hope the neighbor leaves behind the keys to his porsche. Knowing him he’ll try to convince Jesus it’s a part of him, though. Bastard.
May 18, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Haha! I’ll be there too! I’m sad because if the rapture comes and society collapses like is predicted, my boyfriend and I will be struggling to reunite since he’ll be in LA this weekend. But he did pack me a sweet bug-out bag/post-apoc survival pack.
May 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Me three! I could really use a new car…and a gas station.
May 18, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Me too! See you there!
May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Since I KNOW I am not part of the chosen, I will see you there. Or in hell. Same difference.
May 19, 2011 at 10:37 am
you won’t go to hell until october
May 18, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Gaiman is pretty sure this is a “Good Omens” publicity stunt
May 18, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Oh, hell, that means all the cassettes and DVDs will turn into the Best of Queen.
May 19, 2011 at 5:05 am
Yeah, that’s going to suck since I already own it. :/
May 18, 2011 at 7:29 pm
I love that man so much.
May 18, 2011 at 7:35 pm
“Good Omens” is the only Gaiman I’ve read, and it’s not really Gaiman. It’s more Terry Pratchett. THAT man I worship. Can’t get enough Pratchett. And before I die I want an Igor of my own.
May 18, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Amen to that… “Because Glod sent me…”
May 18, 2011 at 9:46 pm
My husband and I fantasy-cast Good Omens from time to time. If they ever manage to make it into a movie, we’ll probably grumble that our casting would have been better.
May 18, 2011 at 7:39 pm
You mean the pencil-necked weasel thief?
May 18, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Yeah, that would be the one.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
oh bullshit, i’ll be away from my computer all day saturday. i want some of your crap! mainly the xanax, but anything will do, really.
May 18, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Argh! I feel your pain. Or not really. I’ll also be away from my computer all day Saturday, but my plans are awesome enough to be worth missing BOTH the rapture AND April’s stuff giveaway.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
The upshot is it’s gonna be REALLY easy for the Democrats to win this next election.
May 18, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I’m not sure whether to be insulted that you’re implying we’re all heathens and atheists, or flattered…that you’re implying we’re all heathens and atheists.
May 18, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Other people might not mean it as flattery, but I do.
May 18, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Ha! That’s assuming their “god” even wants all those right wing “believers” who preach one thing yet do the exact opposite in private.
May 18, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Yeah, I’ve got a feeling they’ll be needing to pack some sunscreen for where they’re headed.
May 19, 2011 at 12:12 am
If the rapture comes, I think a lot of people will be surprised to find themselves still here.
May 19, 2011 at 5:06 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 19, 2011 at 5:45 am
To be fair, there’s a lot fewer “believers” on the left….Jesus Camp wasn’t invented by centrists either…..LOL!
May 19, 2011 at 11:45 am
Oh, there are some crazies on the left, but almost all of the RELIGIOUS crazies are on the right, and that’s what we’re talking about here.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Awww, I’ll have to miss out, I’ll be at the rapture party we are hosting with a bunch of other heathens.
May 18, 2011 at 9:33 pm
This is random, but I thought my sister was the only one whose name is spelled w/ an “a” instead of “e”!! Cool.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Favourite seller added.
I thrive on this. It’s like the agar to the germs of my humour.
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Enough flaunting that cultured language in front of us!
May 19, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Aw, come on AntB, we can get you a thesaurus for your birthday. Assuming it comes before October anyway.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Great, why couldn’t this happen BEFORE I had to trip my way through finals this semester….
Well…. at least I got my birthday out of the way! Hello end of the world!!!!
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Lol – I feel the same. But my new saying is “the world may end this Saturday, but I am GETTING my degree first.”
(Apparently (according the the 1994? writer, who’s ‘sure’ he’s got the calculations right now, earthquakes and such start at 6 p.m. I get my diploma at 10 a.m. Whew.)
May 18, 2011 at 7:35 pm
May as well streak the stage, nothing to lose at this point
May 18, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Just not the way that runner did when he crapped his shorts.
May 18, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Oh Jesus! Send me some crap PLEASE!!!
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
If, by some strange chance, the world does not end, will we have to give you back the goodies?
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Of course not BECAUSE JESUS IS COMING
May 18, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 18, 2011 at 7:14 pm
OR IF THIS STUPID THING DOESN’T WORK AGAIN:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oASYa-Wkroc
May 18, 2011 at 7:21 pm
LOVE!
May 18, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Open your mouth if he is!
May 18, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Oh, did you have to?
May 19, 2011 at 5:45 am
Why yes, yes I did…
May 19, 2011 at 9:22 am
Apologies to both Lemon and Angel! I hit the red thumbs by accident. I can’t even blame my Vicodin for that. My earnest, groveling apologies.
May 18, 2011 at 8:01 pm
“Look busy!”
May 18, 2011 at 8:13 pm
Jesus is coming?!? But I haven’t even *touched* him yet!
DAMN, I’m good!
May 18, 2011 at 8:33 pm
But I thought you were Jewish.
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I knew Jesus was a giant zombie >_<
May 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm
CDC’s newest article should help you with zombies.
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Wait say whaaaaaat?
May 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm
http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2011/05/18/cdc-advises-on-zombie-apocalypse-and-other-emergencies/
May 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Yeah, but I’m a bit concerned by their use of the word “quarantine” and the lack of phrases like “bullet to the head” or “destroy the brain”.
May 18, 2011 at 7:11 pm
They’re the government. They have to be euphemistic.
May 18, 2011 at 6:31 pm
That’s the first thing I thought when I saw it too. My atheist, zombie obsessed hubby will LOVE it.
May 18, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Are brains kosher?
May 18, 2011 at 7:10 pm
If the person has been blessed by a Rabi then .. yes. I believe they are.
May 18, 2011 at 7:26 pm
cool! my neighbor is Jewish… mmm… kosher brains…
May 18, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Humans aren’t kosher: we’re mammals without cleft hooves and who don’t chew the cud.
Ak, I’m twisted- I’ve actually thought this over before. ;_; So, um… Maybe being an orthodox Jew protects someone from becoming a zombie? It’s worth looking into. I’ve never seen a zombie with a skullcap…
May 18, 2011 at 10:36 pm
*blink* … your right.. i have not seen a zombie with a little yamaca before. maybe its just an oversight?
May 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm
wasnt there some in zombieland?
May 19, 2011 at 3:37 am
Yarmulke
May 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Zombies are such racist fucks. Always biting pretty white people or that solo black dude.
May 19, 2011 at 10:12 am
If you don’t have them with dairy products.
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I just discovered this while checking the news at work today. I felt so out of the loop – the world is ending on Saturday, and I had no idea! And of course I have nothing to wear – but I guess there should be lots of opportunities to steal something appropriate after the chosen are airlifted into heaven.
May 18, 2011 at 6:53 pm
It’s not what to wear during the Rapture that’s a problem. It’s what to wear after. I’m planning to sell T-shirts that say
Someone I know Raptured and all they left behind was this lousy T-shirt.
I’ve give you one for free, ‘kay?
May 18, 2011 at 9:52 pm
My favorite’s the bumper sticker that says, “When the Rapture comes, can I have your car?”
May 19, 2011 at 11:48 am
Too passive. Mine will say, “When the Rapture comes, I’m taking your car. And whatever cool shit you’ve left in it.”
May 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Rushgirl2112, what about literal shit? I see your point, but I haven’t looked into the nasty details. The car will be left behind, as will clothes, jewelry, etc….
May 18, 2011 at 10:25 pm
That’s so sweet! Tell me where to meet up, and we can fleece the sinful masses together. And I forgot that all the faithful will be evaporated, leaving their clothes and shoes below. There should be plenty of choices for accessories…
May 18, 2011 at 11:19 pm
There’s still time either to join this group, or leave your (flounce)cats to it!
http://100gf.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/new-pet-care-service-offers-to-look-after-your-furry-friend-if-you-get-taken-in-the-rapture/
May 19, 2011 at 9:36 am
Screw the clothes and shoes–I’m going for the wallets, cash, credit cards, and jewelry. Sure, the the entire universe implodes on October 21st, but it’s going to one kick-ass 5 months!
May 18, 2011 at 7:01 pm
I thought the same thing! I hate when those planing events do not indicate the dreass code. I mean is it a casual rapture, come-as-you-are or perhaps “sunday best?”
May 18, 2011 at 9:35 pm
Oh please, like any of us assholes are going to stick to the dress code – it’ll be over-stretched vagina gotchies, cat skull fascinators, and technicolor snoods as far as the eye can see no matter what you put on the invite.
May 19, 2011 at 9:14 am
Does that give you time to prepare your handbasket? Mine is at the shop being re-woven; I hope I get it back in time!
(If not, can I hitch a ride with one of you guys??)
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I look forward to snagging something shiny.
As a card carrying ‘evil’ doer, I’m pretty sure that, when the rapture comes and carries away all the good guys, I shall still be here, probably yelling at them for making a mess
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I want something if only to say I have something
May 18, 2011 at 6:30 pm
That’s the only reason to want something.
May 18, 2011 at 6:57 pm
YES! Totally candid response.
May 18, 2011 at 9:22 pm
I’m excited. I never win anything.
Except for that one time I won a cruise for my honeymoon from a drawing that I had entered for at a bridal show. Except I when I listened to the voicemail telling me I won, I thought it was yet another scam (I had “won” several “airline tickets” and such that summer) so I never called back, thus never went on that cruise.
I want to win something and actually collect, dammit!
May 18, 2011 at 11:17 pm
The truth you speak Horsetuna.
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Also… the end of the world isn’t until October 21st. Saturday is just when Jebus comes and makes all the Christians disappear. So actually the next 5 months will be pretty sweet.
May 18, 2011 at 6:30 pm
Good point. Although, I’m not really looking forward to drinking from rivers of blood, but I guess you can’t have everything.
May 18, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Yeah but… it will be totally badass.
May 18, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Bloody Mary’s for everyone!
May 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Rivers of blood? That’s a step up for the Gowanus. Ewww, stinky.
May 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm
That’s my birthday. It couldn’t be the day before so I wouldn’t have to turn that age?
May 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
You couldn’t celebrate like everyone else, could you? No. YOU have to go and have a worldwide Rapture.
May 18, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Actually it’s 100,000 Jews. But,
meh, whatever.May 19, 2011 at 3:39 am
That depends on who you ask, actually.
May 18, 2011 at 7:23 pm
That’s heaven on Earth!
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I guess the Christians had to one-up the Mayans and schedule their End of the World a year beforehand.
Like when your neighbor hosts his barbeque the weekend before yours; religious one-upsmanship.
May 18, 2011 at 7:13 pm
“Oh, so you want to end the world, do you? Well we ALREADY DID THAT!”
May 19, 2011 at 1:31 am
Fucking hipsters, all of them.
May 18, 2011 at 8:04 pm
I can’t help wondering–if the Mayans saw the end of the world coming, why didn’t they see the conquistadors coming?
May 18, 2011 at 9:02 pm
Because nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! (or its tangentally related economic and colonial enterprises).
May 18, 2011 at 10:34 pm
NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our *four*…no… *Amongst* our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again.
May 19, 2011 at 12:18 am
According to the calculations, it is 7000 years from the beginning of the great flood, minus one year to make up for the fact that there is no year zero. I read the pamphlet. I bet the Mayans didn’t and forgot to take off that year….
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I can’t wait to go looting after all the annoying jerks are gone on Saturday. Brand new car and new tv, here I come!
May 18, 2011 at 9:53 pm
I dunno…all the rapture types I’ve seen seem to be driving crappy cars.
May 18, 2011 at 11:19 pm
Hate to break the news to ya but all the rapture twits have already sold all their shit in advance to be prepared. So we are all going to just be fighting each other.
May 19, 2011 at 1:32 am
Are you kidding me? I’m hitting Fifth Avenue.
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I actually really like that collage. Wonder if it’ll be half-price the day after.
May 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm
i recognise some of the cut outs
May 19, 2011 at 11:17 am
a lot of his base for his artwork seems to have come from the art work in those childrens bibles, the turqoiusey blue ones with the pretty pictures…
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Freak! Is that John Travolta on the left in the green shirt and jacket with the polka-dot tie?
May 18, 2011 at 6:31 pm
And coffee right out the nose. Yes, on further investigation, it looks like him.
May 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Thanks! I needed the validation on that. It was the first thing I noticed after the price.
May 18, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Damn. I have plans this summer.
May 18, 2011 at 6:37 pm
HAD, darlin’…..HAD.
May 18, 2011 at 6:45 pm
What a perfect reason to do some sinning between now and Saturday, since if you aren’t Raptured they say you’ll be stuck down here with the ebil sinners. You’ll get your summer plans and be able to loot the Christian’s shit.
May 18, 2011 at 7:21 pm
I’m thinking that for all the rest of us “left behind”, it’ll be nonstop partying because we won’t have to put up with their tutting.
But otherwise, the ONE fucking summer I got plans and we go and get raptured.
May 18, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Don’t worry. Us hell bent sinners have 5 months of earthly torture to endure. We don’t go to hell until October 21st so you’ll have time for your vacation.
May 19, 2011 at 6:14 am
I think there’s a second chance drawing in October so you can still get into Heaven.
Of course, if you witness the Rapture and don’t change your ways so you can get in, you’ve got issues.
May 19, 2011 at 9:47 am
No, sorry to disappoint, Mapleleaves, you’ve got until 5:59:59 p.m. EDT to repent. Anything after that? Close, but no saving.
May 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm
WOO-HOO END OF THE WORLD PAH-TAY! Get it on, no hangover Sunday! NO EXCUSES!
May 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm
this is the one time i’m glad i live on the east coast- how exciting! good luck to everyone- i am sure i’ll still be slow on the draw…
May 18, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Dibs on the Bless this House sampler. Of course, if it’s the end of the world, I’ll have no use for it.
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Shit, and i have to work that day!
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks her website is Bizzaro. I’m ok with the Rapture, as long as the earth is actually still here. And every other religion goes too
May 18, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I wouldn’t have any brains left either if I were married to Antonio Banderas, if you know what I mean.
May 18, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Really puts the “my brains out” in…. well, you know.
May 18, 2011 at 7:17 pm
He’s a zombie?
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
The world best be ending on Saturday because I am not doing dishes, laundry, or any other chore. Come Sunday, I am going to be swearing a lot and hiding dirty dishes in cupboards.
May 19, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Paper plates and cups, and those shiny silver knifes and forks for some class. Washable dishes are for show only
May 19, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I just said knifes instead of knives… am I high?
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
PS I want the Will Kate Sodomy plate….
May 18, 2011 at 6:29 pm
My kid and I refer to the rapture as “Free Shoe Day.” All those people will be swept naked up to heaven, leaving their shoes (and other items) behind for the rest of us. It will be awesome.
May 18, 2011 at 10:20 pm
Love it. Have decided that I’m going to find a rich Xtian woman my size, with 6.5 feet and follow her around all day so I can score her designer duds.
Hmm, just one problem. Don’t most of those rapture people dress like Little House on the Prarie? Maybe not such a good idea.
May 19, 2011 at 11:32 am
May 19, 2011 at 11:51 am
Hey, if you want to root through a pile of clothes with someone’s used underwear in it to get to the shoes at the bottom, more power to you.
May 18, 2011 at 6:30 pm
It really will be the end of the world. Regretsy will crash the internet.
May 18, 2011 at 6:30 pm
There should be dinosaurs involved. Because this is the Rapture! BRING ON RAPTOR JESUS!
May 18, 2011 at 7:01 pm
I thought Raptor Jesus would have better things to do than host an elementary school rave.
May 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm
GODzilla.
May 18, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Does this make Mothra the Holy Ghost?
May 18, 2011 at 9:42 pm
This is a bit frightening LOL
May 18, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Seizure warning next time!!
May 18, 2011 at 11:23 pm
OMG you pulled out a Jesus Camp gif. Excuse me while I hide in a corner from the memories of that film.
May 20, 2011 at 2:43 am
<3 the girl holding the box of tissues for whiney ass up front.
May 18, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I fear I must make a ‘save the date’ cross stitch now.. to go with the ‘people die of communism’ one I have sat beside me… damn you Regretsy
May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Stitch fast.
May 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm
*hangs head in shame* since I posted that, I am now half way through ‘save’
May 18, 2011 at 6:31 pm
Thank you dear Jesus for giving my DH the foresight to head to the liquor store and stock up. We should be good ’til the Rapture (sometime in October, right?). But I ain’t doin laundry – no freaking way.
May 19, 2011 at 3:43 am
The Rapture is this Saturday. The end of the world is in October. Keep up.
May 18, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I have to say it: “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.”
May 18, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I WANT this soooo bad!
May 18, 2011 at 6:34 pm
DAMMIT – I was look forward to the day when I’d watch the funniest episode of Hoarders: Celebrity Edition ever!!!
Now you’ve raped mah dreams again ;_;
But then, I guess there won’t be TV after the apocalypse anyway. Or CSI: Miami would be on every channel. One of those.
May 18, 2011 at 6:45 pm
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
No… It’ll be Dr. Oz. On every channel. All the time. And you won’t be able to turn the TVs off, or mute them.
May 18, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Can you unplug them and fling them out a window?
May 18, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Don’t you mean Dr. Phil?
May 19, 2011 at 1:36 am
So long as you don’t mean Doctor Who.
May 18, 2011 at 6:35 pm
I’ll take care of your pets for you, April- I mean, I’m a HEATHEN and I’ve already signed up for the after-rapture pet care!
May 18, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Arkane, you seem pretty thoughtful for an evil sinner.
May 18, 2011 at 6:35 pm
Apparently, it’s not the end of the world, but “Judgement Day”. I was reading a Huffington Post article (http://www.aolnews.com/2011/01/03/christian-group-says-apocalypse-coming-on-may-21-2011/) where a man said if he was still here on Sunday, then he wasn’t saved. Can Jesus PLEASE come save me from work or can I use the upcoming Rapture as an excuse for not going into work at all? I might have to work 3am-3pm Sunday so it’d be awesome if I didn’t have to go! Ooooh, I might be able to bring Him into work with me as long as he’s like the Phil Hartman Jesus
May 18, 2011 at 7:39 pm
you could always call in raptured and see if they buy it?
May 18, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Well, a company can’t legally fire you (or most companies can’t) for not wanting to work on religious holidays. Wouldn’t the Rapture count for that? Ha!
May 18, 2011 at 11:23 pm
Yeah, but if you miss the Rapture bus the first time, I think you get a second chance.
May 18, 2011 at 6:35 pm
There are a couple rapture parties happening, for all the skeptics to go to and get wasted.
May 18, 2011 at 6:35 pm
For the record, May 21st is the day after my birthday. So free shit from Helen would be the cherry on that Saturday’s shit storm sundae.
May 18, 2011 at 9:35 pm
My birthday is Friday, too! I figure I’ll have to party like there’s no tomorrow!
May 18, 2011 at 6:36 pm
The “End of the World!!!!” people were out in full force at the Times Square subway station today handing out helpful literature about how we’re all going to burn and shout unintelligible things about Jesus.
What I want to know is what they’re going to do on Saturday when (if? hey, I’ll play along…) the world is still here . . . they’ve been camped out in that same passage between the NQ and the 7 ACE trains, shouting violently about how much Jesus loves your miserable filthy soul ever since I can remember. It’s going to be pretty embarrassing for them when we’re all still trudging to our trains, trying to ignore them. I’ll be interested to see how they spin this one. Or maybe they’ll have the last laugh when we all burn. Guess only time will tell.
May 18, 2011 at 7:00 pm
I am SO glad I take the R and get off in the 20s. The echo in that station would give me such a headache. That and being surrounded by screaming imbeciles.
May 18, 2011 at 7:20 pm
They’ll come up with another date, same as last time.
Were they Christians in the sense of “people who read the Bible rather than thumping other people with it,” they would perhaps have noticed the repeated passages indicating that the end cannot be predicted by human beings. This is why the vast majority of Christians will be going right on with our lives.
May 18, 2011 at 7:41 pm
They ignore those passages, such as they ignore all the contradictions within the Bible. Doesn’t matter to them. Anyone can find justification for their beliefs in the Bible if you look hard enough. And ignore the rest.
I’ve known so many people who use the Bible as an excuse for shitty behavior. As the song says…
Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end
May 18, 2011 at 10:02 pm
I used to beg my aunt to sing that song to me as I went to sleep.
Pretty much proves I was an odd duck even as a kid, doesn’t it?
May 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm
My kids asked for it on a bedtime CD
May 19, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Of course. Children are incredibly bloodthirsty. Those who say otherwise are selling something – usually to adults.
May 18, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Not only that, but to me it reeks of hubris to claim that they can predict something which Jesus claimed not even he knew. But hey, most Christians already know better than Jesus. Dirty hippie socialist.
May 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Plus, which version of the Bible is this jerk using to predict the end? There are so many out there.
May 19, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Um, would it be appropriate to say AMEN to your post EyeHeart (I can’t type that “s” word in your name…ewww lol)
I’m pretty sure the page where it says that no man shall no the hour got holy water spilled on it or something – cause they sure didn’t read it.
May 18, 2011 at 7:39 pm
In Union Square the End of the World! folks looked damp and dejected. They were totally being upstaged by The Great Flood. I think people were taking their pamphlets to use to shield themselves from the rain.
Seriously, it was raining so hard today, I saw a broken umbrella float by with two tiny giraffes, a pair of cockroaches, a couple of pigeons and some rats in it.
May 18, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I’m up in the 20s. THAT’S where those damn giraffes got to. Turn your back for one minute and off they go!
May 18, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Heading downstream with the water, I suppose. They are so small and light I am not surprised they lost got flushed away. I’m glad they didn’t get washed down the storm drain.
May 18, 2011 at 8:33 pm
That is so cool! I’m visiting from Portland and I was in the station this afternoon! My thought is that maybe I could get a temp job with them for Thurs/Friday, and blow all the money on Saturday.
May 19, 2011 at 4:52 am
Jebus, the things you miss when you take an express bus…!
May 19, 2011 at 6:57 am
We had one of those in our town a few years ago screaming about Jesus and sinners and repentance. People used to throw chips at her.
May 18, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Dammit I skimmed through that too fast and read it as Melanie Griffith was giving away all her shit, only to clink on the link to find out she thinks she’s some kind of goddess or something.
Meh, whatever.May 18, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Wanna know something REALLY funny? May 21st is my and my husband’s 3rd wedding anniversary! What a way to go, lol!
May 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
It is our 28th anniversary. We got married on Armed Forces Day here in the USA. Seemed appropriate.
May 18, 2011 at 7:38 pm
My brother’s getting married this Saturday. I told him that he’d be able to search “2011 Rapture date” on Google if he ever forgot his anniversary, at the very least.
May 19, 2011 at 3:46 am
My friend is getting married this Saturday, too. I don’t think the rapture will affect her wedding since she’s an atheist.
May 18, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Well, good. Now I don’t have to worry about the pint of ice cream I just ate going to my thighs.
May 18, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Yeah you do.
That’s the sin of gluttony, repent fast or you’ll be left here with the rest of us after judgement day, waiting for the end of the world in 5 months time.
May 18, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Lots more time to eat Haagen-Daz 5 Lemon mixed with regular coffee. Have you had the 5 Lemon? It’s awesome! I’m going to get me some now…and it’s on sale! WIN!
May 18, 2011 at 7:16 pm
That’s regular Haagen-Daz coffee ice cream. Just to be clear.
May 18, 2011 at 7:21 pm
I am totally fucking confused, Mugsy.
May 19, 2011 at 9:42 am
Fancyskants, sorry, ice-cream talk froze my mind. Haagen-Daz has a line of 5-ingredient ice cream (milk, cream, sugar, eggs, and main ingredient [coffee, strawberry, lemon, etc.]) They’re lower in calories and a bit lighter in fat, so they’re not as rich as the regular line. When I first posted, I meant to say H-D 5 Lemon with regular H-D coffee ice cream. I was afraid that “with coffee” would be read as “with a cup of regular coffee.” Not that it mattered. Oh, pooh. No matter how old I get, I’m still a good little girl at heart and don’t want anyone to be mislead or confused by what I said.
So much for that goal.
May 18, 2011 at 7:28 pm
18 months. You’ve got til 2012.
May 19, 2011 at 9:44 am
That’s for the Maya, we’re talking a tiny sect of crazy-ass fundamentalist “Christians.”
I’m not so sure the Maya were so much forward-seeing as lazy. They got as far as December 21, 2012 and said, “
Meh, that’ll hold them for awhile.”May 18, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I’ve never tried for any game show because I knew my weakness would be the ringing in first part. This has got to be 1000x more competitive.
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I’m in Canada and there has been very little info on the Rapture…. is it because the socialist government in controlling our access to info via the CRTC or because we will be spared north of the border? either way, I’m gonna be around for the free shit.
May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm
also I just spent an obscene amount of money to put in a pool and it hasn’t been warm enough to use it yet. what a waste of money!
May 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Here in England, we haven’t really noticed that the rapture is coming.
Come the day, we will mostly act with stifled surprise and a slight shrug.
May 18, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Keep calm
and
Await the
RAPTURE
May 18, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Keep Calm
AND
Rapture On!!
May 18, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Here’s all you need to know.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCdS7O248g
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Sweet! Party at my house.
I’m pretty sure I’m not be revoked that day.
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I know. I’m just going to stop writing this 3500 word essay for my MBA on the wine importation industry in China right now. Kind of a pity, I already typed 27 references, and that shit is TRICKY to type.
May 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Oooh, I’m doing a 3000 word essay on the archaeological history of Rapa Nui. It’s due in Tuesday. I got 17 references. I need one more paragraph, and I’m stuck D:
Who cares! End of the world party!!
May 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Architectural history in a science degree? Sounds interesting!
May 18, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Double major, biology and archaeology.
It’s really interesting, but pretty useless.
May 18, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Oops. Archaeological. Stupid fingers have their own predictive text going on.
May 18, 2011 at 9:07 pm
If you need a filler paragraph, Jacques Cousteau had an expedition there in the 70′s or 80′s. Nothing really scientific, but his son was flying an ultralight to get some B reel and crashed. Broke a limb or two and was nearly crippled. It’s blatant fluff, but it’s interesting.
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Actually, I’m gonna be pissed if Saturday is the end of the world. My graduation is in September. Dammit, it’d be 3 years and $20,000 wasted on a stupid science degree.
May 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm
that just means you’ll be one of the useful people to save when the world as we know it ends.
May 18, 2011 at 6:53 pm
I wish I was that useful. My degree can’t even get me a job.
I’m a sad little biologist
May 18, 2011 at 7:01 pm
When we’re all being eaten by zombie bugs, you’ll be the first one we turn to
May 18, 2011 at 7:21 pm
If I’d known biology covered zombie bugs, I’d have done that degree instead.Damn.
May 18, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I hope that 20,000 was in loans….’cause ya know, now you won’t have to pay them back!! Can you cram in grad school by Saturday?
May 18, 2011 at 8:48 pm
That’s true! I should have bought a bunch of crap with that loan money…
(Also, zombie bugs already exist…)
May 18, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Ok am I losing my mind? I’ve posted twice and it’s disappeared both times. Must be because I sorta mighta dissed Melanie Griffith. Cue Twilight Zone theme song.
May 18, 2011 at 6:50 pm
You got caught in the spam filter for writing “meh.” Not allowed.
May 18, 2011 at 6:56 pm
damnit, this means I did too.
May 18, 2011 at 7:50 pm
But, but I’m Canadian, I should be allowed to end ALL my words with ‘eh’
May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm
So, the Rapture is coming and you’re going to redecorate?
May 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
REDECORATE FOR JESUS
May 18, 2011 at 7:02 pm
laughed through my nose at this, must clean keyboard
May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm
The only thing that would be cooler then owning a “Bless this House” sampler would be being able to say April Winchell owned it.
…What? I watch a lot of Phineas and Ferb. Is that so wrong? I’m only nineteen, people, don’t hate!
May 18, 2011 at 7:45 pm
I have almost every one of the episodes memorized. And I’m a 32 stay at home mom of two kids too young to understand it. I Tivo the new ones and watch them by myself after the kids go to bed. I guess what I’m trying to say is (other than P&F are awesome) that dorkiness doesn’t necessarily go away with age.
And I agree that owning -THE- House sampler April owns would be very cool.
May 18, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Am I the only one that absolutely LOVES this card!?!?!?! And is disturbed by Melanie Griffith’s website….
May 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm
I want all of this seller’s artwork. All over my house.
May 18, 2011 at 6:41 pm
I heard an NPR interview with a young couple who truly believe that the rapture is happening this Saturday. About a year and a half ago they sold everything, quit their jobs and budgeted their money to last exactly until 5/21/11. The kicker is that the wife is now pregnant with their second baby, due in June.
May 18, 2011 at 6:47 pm
My schadenfreude is kicking in…*cue evil laughter*
May 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Now there’s an oopsy!
May 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Yeah! That’s so stupid! One feels sorry for the poor kids! They won’t even have their house come this saturday, they said they had planned it! What, are they gonna spend the day at the local park? LMAO
May 18, 2011 at 7:05 pm
No.. these are the sort of people who will then drink drain cleaner, because god told them to
May 18, 2011 at 7:08 pm
As long as THEY drink it and leave the children alone, but they wouldn’t (even if she weren’t pregnant). It’s like the murder-suicides you hear about, a parent decides he or she can’t have custody so neither can the other parent and the children are killed.
Some people make me so angry and sad.
May 18, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I heard that story, too. That’s sad that they’re stupid and have already reproduced. Wouldn’t it be awesome if their child and baby Raptured…but they didn’t? If I were that baby, I’d chew through the umbilical cord to get away from such idiots.
May 18, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I’m gonna go out Friday night and get stinking, falling down, dancing on the tables drunk. And I’ll keep drinking right into Saturday. Since the world will be ending then, I won’t have to worry about a hangover. No sleep til the Apocolypse!! YAY!
May 18, 2011 at 6:47 pm
I want something! Anything appropriate for a preschool boy? I’ll be here anyway, but I just wanted to know how long I’ll be sitting at my laptop so I can stock up on supplies!
May 18, 2011 at 6:54 pm
OK I meant anything appropriate for MY preschool boy.
May 18, 2011 at 7:38 pm
PS this is him, if it helps
![]()
Also, it just dawned on me that I should get a clay portrait made of this pic.
May 18, 2011 at 7:40 pm
dammit this is so embarrassing, I can’t get everything in one post. Ok last try I swear!
May 18, 2011 at 9:15 pm
I agree, you should definitely get a clay portrait of this done. PLEASE ask for Danzig in blue glitter, please?
I know you seem like a fan of light rock, so this might go over your head (0_o), but have you heard of the metric to Danzig converter? I recommend converting and labelling everything to Danzigs before the rapture…call it a hunch.
May 18, 2011 at 9:31 pm
OK will do!
As for the glittered Danzig, I think they just do the person and not the background
I like to blame that pic on Daddy’s influence. He likes to make huge collage posters, and our living room is usually covered in them. Although I did make a pretty nice black & white Vincent Price one, and an old black & white Lugosi / Karloff one, too.
OOOO I wonder if we could sell those on etsy? it’s just cutting out shit and gluing it to other shit. It’s a skill …
j/k
May 18, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Hello? OF COURSE you could sell that on etsy woman!! Clearly, you haven’t been paying attention around here
May 18, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Holy hell there’s probably more than 150 poster board size collages just sitting in a pile. Hmmm …
I wonder about copyright issues since they are magazine & old book pictures?
May 18, 2011 at 6:48 pm
God DAMN it, I’m such a boring fucker and you pick the ONE weekend where I’m not going to be slumped in front of my computer. I’m going to be cheering my husband on at a comic convention this weekend and I WAS going to be all happy about it, but now I’m going to sit there scowling and telling people to fuck right off because I’m missing a CRAP-CRAFTS-N-SHIT-GIVEAWAY-BONANZA-RAMA.
I’m raging so hard about it my fat little sausage fingers are trembling as I type
HK, please reschedule the Rapture. If anyone can do it, you can.
May 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Where I live 21st of may is kind of a big deal day (important day for History, yeay !), and there’s this huge “stop the hydroelectric power plant” protest going on… So I’m not gonna go to that cause the world’s gonna end and the protest will be for nothing.
Besides, when Jesus comes, I don’t wanna be high on tear gas, or I’ll probably mistake him for one of the other hipsters running around. I’ll try to be here, so we jealous losers can be judged togetha.
May 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm
It’s awesome cuz I just got a job in my field just in time for the rapture!!! Yay!
((dripping with sarcasm))))
May 18, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Oh man this Sunday’s gonna be lolarious.
May 18, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Great, the crowning masterpiece to my creepy giant Jesus terrifying crowds of frightened people collection and someone got to it before me!
May 18, 2011 at 6:50 pm
I once got a great apartment when the world ended.
Ma Prophet of Church Universal And Triumphant said the world was ending and her followers ran up their credit cards and didn’t pay rent for a few months. When they went underground (literally) to wait out the apocalypse, my family moved into a fabulous 3 br apt with a fireplace we had been waiting ages for in Gardiner Montana.
When the world didn’t end, the guy who hadn’t paid back rent for 8 mo was actually angry at us for taking the apartment since he was instrumental in saving the earth (by wearing blue and chanting for the month he was in the bunker). He felt it was ungrateful of us to move in, and of the landlord to sue him since he was a world savior and all.
May 18, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Awesome story! I wish I could give it more thumbs. I’ve been hearing about skeptics offering to take money etc. off the hands of people who believe they won’t be around after the rapture; have to wonder if anyone’s gotten an apartment out of this yet.
May 18, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Why is everybody consumed with the Rapture? Fuck that, Helen has brought to us an AWESOME piece!!!! I love that fucking thing. Someone should buy it for me.
May 18, 2011 at 6:51 pm
The rapture you say!?
I need to find someone who is going to be left behind to take care of my dog.
May 18, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Look no more! http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
May 18, 2011 at 7:10 pm
For $135 bucks, I’ll come take care of your pet now.
May 18, 2011 at 8:29 pm
I am in love with the internet.
May 18, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I am amazed by the things people will do to profit off of the fear of morons and even more amazed at what idiots are willing to pay for.
Do you think people would pay me if I said I’d adopt kids who got left behind? I’m sure people can’t possibly think all of their kids are going to make it to the Rapture.
May 18, 2011 at 9:25 pm
May 18, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Sorry, trying again.
May 18, 2011 at 7:02 pm
This will be my business and like suggested in the book ‘ How To Profit From The Coming Rapture,’ I’m going to call it PerPETual Care. I should start signing up people now.
May 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm
what makes you so sure your dog is going to be left behind?
May 18, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Yeah, between me and my dog, I’m pretty much convinced the dog’s got a cleaner soul.
May 18, 2011 at 7:52 pm
http://aftertherapturepetcare.com/
May 18, 2011 at 9:10 pm
I love that they have no problem with those of us remainders caring for their beloved pets but Jesus won’t give us the time of day (Wile I attend a “Christian” church it is very liberal and we’ll all being staying here.) I also like that it is only $10 compared to the other’s $135 because the latter is “run by atheists for a profit, but we [the former] are a real service.” Good grief!
May 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm
I go to a Unitarian Universalist church. We don’t even make it to “Christian” status (with or without quotes LOL).
May 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm
I can’t believe in a heaven where there are no pets.
May 18, 2011 at 9:01 pm
I think that they have a better chance of getting there than most people do.
May 18, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Dog Heaven- to which all pets automatically go- is the only one I’m interested in. Apart from the bottom-sniffing aspect.
May 18, 2011 at 11:31 pm
“I think that they have a better chance of getting there than
mostany people do.”Fixed it for you.
May 19, 2011 at 3:19 am
I guess all dogs don’t go to heaven. Babies that haven’t repented for their sins? SURE! But dogs? NO WAY. F that.
May 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
May 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm
My son will be PISSED.
May 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm
(his last soccer game is Monday, and he gets a trophy!)
May 18, 2011 at 6:52 pm
I want the Ed McMahon Vodka!
May 18, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Oh, my God. Laughlin. I’d forgotten all about it. Do you get to drive through Barstow on the way?
I’m moving back to California for the rapture. Screw the heartland.
May 18, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Why does she run from the apostrophe?
May 18, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Great weekend to go camping, then – we heathens should have the campground practically to ourselves when we’re left behind and we can enjoy some weed and have wild animal sex out in the open. HA, I knew I’d eventually find something positive about living in the conservative Midwest!
May 18, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Saturday’s the end of the world? Man, no one ever tells me anything…
May 18, 2011 at 6:57 pm
I’ll be doing Relay for Life that morning, whether the world ends or not. Hopefully you’ll still have some shit left in the afternoon!
May 18, 2011 at 9:14 pm
If anyting happens just turn it into “Relay for Eternal Life.”
May 18, 2011 at 9:29 pm
It may not be wise to talk about running and shit in the same post…
May 18, 2011 at 7:00 pm
Post Rapture Party at my house in Las Vegas. My boyfriend will make his signature burgers (he is, after all a dirty Catholic and thus stuck on Earth with his atheist girlfriend). I’ll provide the weed; BYOXanax.
May 18, 2011 at 7:00 pm
The first thing Im going to do is get drunk, then Im gonna ask Ol’ JC if he got his robe from a vintage seller on etsy. Then Ill be partyin! http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=156562474411065
May 18, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Oh my goodness. This is going to be another one of those things that I HAVE TO OWN.
I’ll put it next to my not-yet-purchased uniporn!
May 18, 2011 at 7:12 pm
I have already favorited so many things from this shop. BUT, http://www.etsy.com/listing/61730822/quality-time-with-the-kids-print, this, I desperately need. I have never wished it were my birthday so hard in my entire life.
May 18, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Hey, how did that person get my family album? That was my best birthday ever!
May 18, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Can I have the last of your Vicodin crumbs if I pay for shipping?
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
April’s Army is on the run…I kin hardly wait!
May 18, 2011 at 7:05 pm
This needs to be on a t-shirt.
May 18, 2011 at 7:22 pm
That’s what I’m wearing to the rapture.
May 18, 2011 at 7:53 pm
I want this as a poster!!!!!!!!!!
May 18, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Oh, how I love that leaping kitty.
May 18, 2011 at 9:48 pm
This is now my computer wallpaper. With this, I shall bring all to the Word of Helen Killer.
May 18, 2011 at 10:23 pm
This is beautiful.
May 19, 2011 at 8:41 am
Do you think I can convince everyone this was an original watercolor if I add some raindrops?
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
If I am going to Hell, the “Bless this House” embroidery would make things just right.
May 18, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Apparently I am the only one who doesn’t know this is called a “sampler”… of what?
May 18, 2011 at 9:14 pm
I believe young girls used to make them to show off all the types of stiches they had learned.
May 18, 2011 at 10:19 pm
That sounds dirty!
May 19, 2011 at 7:44 am
I’ll show you my stitches.
May 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Well, fuck. Doesn’t Jeebus know it’s a sweeps month, and people need to see their season finales?
May 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Ok, so here’s the deal… I’m graduating from college on Saturday.
How inappropriate would it be for me to carry my computer around with me all day, ignoring my family and friends so that I can get free useless, but awesome, shit?
May 18, 2011 at 7:38 pm
why not? all the proper folks are going to be raptured up, anyone left behind shouldn’t be passing judgment.. heh heh…
May 18, 2011 at 9:46 pm
My mother-in-law decided that on Saturday she wants to take us all out to breakfast at freaking 6am. I hope she gets raptured first cause I’m not rolling my ass outta bed before 8am on the weekend. Plus, it will give me more time to sloth in front of Regretsy and win something.
May 18, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I’m having an End of the World party with my friends… it’s going to be a potluck where we all bring our last meals and episodes of Lost will be streaming until the Rapture.
May 18, 2011 at 7:08 pm
it’s only the rapture, all of us snarky bitches will be left on earth in chaos for an unforseen amount of time and be ruled over by the antichrist.
May 18, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Hell no! When I worked at a Baptist school (not sure how I was hired since was practicing Catholic at the time – now recovering)I was told that the “next Pope”(JP2 was the big P at the time) would be a “minion of the antichrist.” If this means that the a.c. is Catholic & Benedict is his minion I AM NOT doing that again; I’ll just go directly to hell.
May 19, 2011 at 6:33 am
There’s a prophecy where each Pope is represented by a two-line poem; the lines after John Paul II’s say that the world will end.
The prophecy was found several hundred years after it was allegedly written, and the couplets prior to its “discovery” are much more accurate.
May 18, 2011 at 9:21 pm
So, nothing’s going to change?
Hey wait, isn’t the rapture like, the ultimate flounce? Forget you snarky sinner, I’m leaving!
May 18, 2011 at 10:01 pm
Wow! You are right. But if I understand correctly they won’t be given time to post any butthurt – too bad.
May 18, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Boy am I going to be an unpleasant host at my dinner party, checking Regretsy every few seconds. When it’s me vs. 80k people, I’ll need to be on my toes.
May 18, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Psh – i never win shit. I’ll just be here to grin and cheer you guys on
May 18, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Fuck the Rapture,I have to stay. Who is going to milk the goats and feed the foster kittens? Can’t wait until I can be incoherantly drunk and make cheese all day,world ending and all that.What a bunch of bullshit.
May 18, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Oh please of please oh please can I have the Bless this House sampler?? It’s my favorite piece of not-remotely-crap!
May 18, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Yesterday was Wednesday… Today is Thursday… Tomorrow is Friday… And the Rapture comes afterwards. Fun fun fun fun! Looking forwards to the weekend!
May 18, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I hate you so much right now. I read through almost the whole thread to make sure no one made that joke before me. And you got it before me. I blame waking up early to watch my brother’s 3 crotchfruit while #4 was born and not breastfed this afternoon. And now I’m getting a good buzz, because I deserve it.
May 18, 2011 at 10:09 pm
Hope that you called CPS on your bor & sis-in-law.
May 18, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Sing it baby, sing it through your nose.
May 18, 2011 at 7:24 pm
This seller is brilliant. http://www.etsy.com/listing/15987498/tv-for-jesus-print-by-francesca-berrini
May 18, 2011 at 7:34 pm
for sure… I just wish there were more cards available…. cards cards cards… I want to mail some out and frame some… I can’t afford prints or originals, but I’d do cards for sure…
I’ve already liked a bunch of these…
May 18, 2011 at 10:03 pm
I wonder if Jesus multiplied the TVs so there would be enough for everyone?
May 18, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Coleslaw Jesus is so much hotter. This Jesus looks like everyone smells bad.
May 18, 2011 at 7:28 pm
My boyfriend and I are celebrating by listening to the band The Rapture while waiting for The Rapture and wearing crowns of thorns and drinking red wine. Who am I kidding, my imaginary boyfriend can’t drink wine! He prefers sherry. HA HA HA HA HA HA. I’m so lonely.
May 18, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Two things:
One – our quilt guild is having our BIG FUCKING SHOW this weekend.
Two – My ex said I am the Painted Whore of Babylon, so the Apocalypse isn’t going to happen until I ride into Rome on a 7-headed dragon. And, considering item 1 above, that’s NOT happening on Saturday.
May 18, 2011 at 7:32 pm
I’m really pissed that I’ll be away from my computer on Saturday, because I’d love to try to score some of April’s tchatchkis.
May 18, 2011 at 9:06 pm
You got holidays planned for October or December 21?
7 headed dragon sounds like one of those airline groupings.
May 18, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Always wondered, do painted whores use oils or acrylics?
May 18, 2011 at 11:34 pm
Watercolors made from the tears of orphans and widows.
May 19, 2011 at 6:35 am
Or Photoshopped facsimiles of them.
May 19, 2011 at 5:53 am
Hmm, my ex said the same thing. Is there enough room on that dragon for two?
May 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm
If it’s gonna be anything like in the Left Behind books – fuck that, sounds like it’s gonna be one kick ass party down here on Earth. Well, up until the bugs. The bugs scare the shit out of me. But I do believe I can repent RIGHT before those fuckers, if I need to….
Yes, I read them. Don’t judge me. I found it fascinating that people honestly believed all that shit was true.
May 18, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Please tell me there’s a Right Behind series too.
May 19, 2011 at 5:46 am
oooh, book series idea!!! Maybe as a guide for being the people who get to party on Earth after the Rapture happens?
May 18, 2011 at 7:33 pm
I just made a wet spot in my skants I’m so excited!
For the free stuff, I mean… Not the end of the world.
That’s a total bummer.
May 18, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Also – I have reserved the VIP suite in Hell, so feel free to come on by – the password is bajingo.
May 18, 2011 at 7:36 pm
OH this is the best world’s end day surprise ever!
You are the best Hellen Killer!
May 18, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I love Francesca Berrini’s work and was so tickled to see this on Regretsy! This image was the wallpaper on my phone for ages.
May 18, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Great stuff – I just bought one of the card sets – what a deal! 8 cards for 5 dollars!!!! And there’s only 5 sets left…..I noticed there were 7 sales today…
we are gonna lose our reputation….
May 18, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Don’t you all know by now that the world ends on December 21, 2012? not May 21, 2011. I’ll stick with the Mayans, they have a calendar.
May 18, 2011 at 9:24 pm
I’m with you, fuck doing the math myself.
May 18, 2011 at 11:38 pm
But maybe the Mayans forgot about the book of Jeremiah, too.
May 18, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I’m supposed to attend piano recitals all day Saturday, so I guess it really is the end of the world – for those kids. Because if they fuck up, there’s no do-over, and the better sibling will remain so for eternity. God will only take the perfect kids for His musical groups.
May 18, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Not only is Saturday my birthday, but it would be the best present in the world if my religious ex-husband were taken up in the rapture. It would be the first time in years I’d say “Thank you Jesus!” and mean it.
May 18, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Like, what time is this rapture thing on Saturday? Morning, noon, night? I have some whoring it up decisions to make.
May 18, 2011 at 9:44 pm
It’s supposed to be 6 PM in the Pacific time zone; I don’t know if it’s going to be 6 PM in every time zone so we have a rolling rapture, or at the same exact instant everywhere. Just watch in your area for the bodies flying upwards (or folks commenting about it on their Twitter feeds).
May 19, 2011 at 5:48 am
There’s no BODIES flying. DUH. Geez, this isn’t some silly superman thing. They just disappear. Poof. Clothes left behind along with all the whores and sinners…
May 18, 2011 at 8:06 pm
I just clicked on Melanie Griffith’s website. It’s like a cross between Ice Capades, Lawrence Welk and Teletubbies tv special hosted by Celine Dion.
Is she for fucking real? Did she fall into a vat of Lifetime Television and it gave her brain damage? That’s some powerful Koolaid there, Mel.
May 18, 2011 at 8:19 pm
It’s a scary world in there.
It’s all the more shocking to think she’s Mrs Antonio Banderas.
May 18, 2011 at 8:07 pm
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I am supposed to be selling at an art fair Saturday. But now I’m in a quandary. If the world’s coming to end end, I don’t need the money and i can stay home and score April’s crap. But what if I score it, and it never gets here because the world ended? God, would that ever tick me off. No world AND no crap? Can you imagine anything worse?
And then again, what if the world doesn’t end? Then I need to sell shit to make money. But if I do that I won’t get any of the crap. And the world will go on, but everyone else will have the crap that I WANTED.
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT
What should I do????????
May 18, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Yeah,…what time exactly? I am in Australia,…so either I will already be gone…Or I can inform all you bitches what it is like at Armageddon, on my Sunday/Saturday for you. I like run on sentences.
May 18, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Australia! It’s the land of the friggin FUTURE, man!!
May 18, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Ha! I beat you both! New Zealand will see the rapture first!
May 18, 2011 at 10:48 pm
We’ll wave as you fly overhead. Pretty sure I’ll see you Kiwis from down here in Tassie.
May 18, 2011 at 8:10 pm
BTW, when did Melanie Griffith move in with Thomas Kinkade?
May 18, 2011 at 8:13 pm
I thought 2012 was the year the world was ending. I’M SO UNPREPARED! I have not yet experienced enough whimsicle fuckery in my short time here on earth. SURELY, the big GEE OHH DEE will give us Regretsians a raincheck, right? I mean, we’re basically doing GOD’S work here.
May 18, 2011 at 8:14 pm
At least the impending rapture means we’ll finally get to see some sun, right?
May 18, 2011 at 8:18 pm
OMG I KNOW RIGHT?!
I’ve never been more excited to be a godless heathen.
May 18, 2011 at 8:19 pm
“Knock, knock…”
“Who’s there?”
“We’re here to share the good news…(this joke cannot be completed due to the secret rapture)”
May 18, 2011 at 8:23 pm
GOD is doin’ it….uh huh
GOD is doin’ a new thang…
HE’s doin’ it…
HE’s doin’ a new thang…
May 18, 2011 at 8:24 pm
If you are really and truly giving away all your shit, can I have Bronc Drywall, your mom, your voice-over jobs…and, um, your credit rating (it will definitely be better than mine).
May 18, 2011 at 8:34 pm
Idk anything about the rapture, but I love that print and I bought a postcard pack.
May 18, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Shit, I just made dinner reservations. I guess we’ll just have to see who shows up.
May 18, 2011 at 8:37 pm
May 18, 2011 at 8:42 pm
Mark 13:31-33 (King James Version)
“31Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.
32But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.
33Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.”
source
You’d think people that religious would, you know, READ THE BOOK or something. :S
Every decade or so, someone sets a date- and every decade or so, I think that they’re morons who haven’t read their own Book… :S
May 18, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Aren’t you a little suspicious about April giving away all her posessions?
Mathew 19:21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go [and] sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come [and] follow me.
May 18, 2011 at 9:55 pm
She’s really part of an apocalyptic cult. I saw it on her IMDB page somewhere.
May 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm
But wait- there’ll be no shoes! Or maybe only Jesus sandals!
May 18, 2011 at 11:41 pm
What I find weird is that even if this Rapture happens, they seem to think the world ends five months later – I thought it was something like seven years or a thousand years or something like that.
May 19, 2011 at 3:45 am
I heard it was like a million or a billion years away when the sun dies out, but that’s just silly science talking, so take it with a grain of salt.
May 19, 2011 at 5:51 am
According to most studiers of the Rapture, it’s 7 years….with a plague per year….
May 19, 2011 at 9:19 am
Neko: Christians actually READING the Bible? That’s not how it works. They watch TV or go to lavishly decorated buildings to listen to another human with maybe a passing familiarity with the book TELL them what is supposedly written in there, given that it fits in with their personal view of things.
Of course, if you don’t like it, you can just cut it out, like the King James version did with several books – like the book of, oh, for example, Tobias.
May 19, 2011 at 9:21 am
*Tobit was the book’s name, Tobias was the character in it.
May 18, 2011 at 8:49 pm
I just want this goddamn Jesus picture. I want to punch whoever bought it.
May 18, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Did you note that this minister who insists that saturday is THE day also predicted the end of the world in 1994?
Jeez April- sure, have a fun giveaway day on the ONLY day I can;t be on the computer… I don’t think anyone would look kindly onit if I skipped son’s graduation and ignored all the family converging on my house that day- bedamned social obligations! LOL
May 18, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Does anyone know what time the rapture is on Saturday, and where it starts? I’ll be flying through several time zones, and want to know what to expect. Thanks in advance.
May 18, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Your flight may or may not have a pilot when you land. That is all.
May 18, 2011 at 11:42 pm
But depending on how many people around you get raptured, you might get a whole aisle to yourself!
May 19, 2011 at 3:48 am
And ALL THE PEANUTS YOU COULD EVER WANT! That is, if they still do the peanut thing on flights now. It’s been, at least, a decade since I’ve flown so I dunno for sure.
May 19, 2011 at 6:40 am
They switched to pretzels for the most part. Nut allergies.
May 19, 2011 at 6:41 am
Sweet! Row to myself. Calling the airline now to request non-Christian pilot.
May 19, 2011 at 10:29 am
Make sure you sleep the whole time. #Langoliers
May 18, 2011 at 8:58 pm
I hope the world ends sooner now.
May 19, 2011 at 3:49 am
Take THAT, Jesus! We’re stealing your thunder! How do you like us now!!?!?!?!
May 18, 2011 at 9:04 pm
So I don’t think this would up my chances in winning anything, but I’m graduating high school next Saturday (assuming the world doesn’t end, which is obviously a stupid assumption) so boy would I like to rally for the sweet regretsy graduation gift.
May 18, 2011 at 9:11 pm
I love that artist. I used to use that very image as my sig line on another forum. Good times.
If you have any large quantities of poison – or any amount, really, I’m not greedy – and no one else has called dibs, count me in.
May 18, 2011 at 9:17 pm
I’m guessing it starts midnight – so if you’re in australia when it’s saturday in the U.S, you should already be gone.
May 18, 2011 at 9:42 pm
So what, we have to be the first to comment on something and it’s ours? BTW I totally want this Jesus picture, it will be my Christmas present for my pastor father-in-law.
May 18, 2011 at 9:50 pm
Well, I won’t need any of that stuff as I shall be at the Pearly Gates wrapped in St. Peter’s loving, bit, veiny, masculine, turgid, rigid arms.
Oops. Guess I’m headed to Hell now.
May 18, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Don’t worry, just look for the Regretsy camp when you get there, we’ll be over to the left somewhere. Head for the bar.
May 19, 2011 at 5:53 am
The password is ALWAYS bajingo…
May 18, 2011 at 9:53 pm
It’s the dang end of the world, and Bronc won’t even let me post my smart-ass pic of the Level 5 cat saying ‘m-e-h.’ Tch. Slang-nazi
May 18, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Melanie Griffith done prettied up her website real nice. What’s with the Goddess Club???? Is she going to be otherwise occupied for that pesky rapture thingy?
May 19, 2011 at 6:43 am
You don’t think that Heaven is an overdone palace where you get to have sex with Antonio Banderas any time you want to?
May 18, 2011 at 10:39 pm
I am going to be SO pissed – I should have 80% of my remodeling done on Saturday. 100% by October. All that work for nothing. I could have been knitting or weaving a fabulous basket for my decent into hell. Geez. Thanks a bunch Jesus.
May 18, 2011 at 10:55 pm
That seller is awesome! But how can you miss with dinosaurs and Jesus?
The boyfriend and I were probably going to see a movie on Saturday so I’ll probably miss out on the giveaway but maybe once he’s raptured away* I can rush home and sign on here.
*He probably thinks he’ll be raptured but since we do a lot of sinning together I have a feeling he’ll be stuck here with me.
May 18, 2011 at 11:20 pm
i love stuff!
May 19, 2011 at 12:06 am
Shoots! I had it all planned for 2012!
May 19, 2011 at 3:34 am
Oh my god. I recognise those “vintage sources”, they were a common source of bedtime stories when I was a kid. I have to send this to all my siblings now and see who recognises Running Woman at the front!
May 19, 2011 at 3:41 am
Living in Germany, I’ve never even heard of the whole “world ends in may 2011″ stuff. This article was the first time.
Maybe we aren’t religious enough over here, so no one bothered to tell us. Such a bummer.
It’s like being the one kid which isn’t invited to the party.
May 19, 2011 at 3:54 am
You can have my invite to the rapture. I think it came in the Welcome to the Jesus Club package when I accepted J.H.Christ into my heart at the ripe, old age of 9 years old.
But my ticket might be expired or revoked since I’m no longer Christian. I haven’t received the official paperwork in the mail yet, so I’m not sure.
May 19, 2011 at 4:51 am
I used to wonder about that. Do those childhood conversions count? I guess it depends what brand you go by- the particular brand of Baptist I was raised with said it counts forever. But some of those heathen Pentecostals believe it’s only temporary. In any case, I don’t have time to worry about it with the master’s thesis hanging over my head, unless I don’t have to worry about that after Saturday. I wonder if my advisor is a Christian?
May 19, 2011 at 5:57 am
Even if it’s been revoked, according to all the literature (and I use that term loosely) you get a whole shit-ton of chances to repent and be saved during the tumultuous 7 years on Earth. You’ll be spared the bugs, if you do it in time, which I would advise. They’re apparently metal bugs who dine only on the flesh of non-believers….
May 19, 2011 at 8:18 am
We have those here in Maine. They’re called black flies. Only they seem to feed on the flesh of everybody.
May 19, 2011 at 5:55 am
Yeah, you have a lot fewer of the born again group over in Germany….lucky bastards….
May 19, 2011 at 6:44 am
Why does everyone hear when some idiot burns the Koran, but this doesn’t get out?
May 19, 2011 at 9:28 am
Negative: Feel free to ignore it; it’s just some leftover state-side crazy that’s been allowed to sit in the sun too long..
May 19, 2011 at 3:51 am
That collage is amazing, and do are you! PAAARTY!
May 19, 2011 at 5:29 am
The reason the world is coming to an end on Sat. is because it’s my anniversary. Who thought it would last this long? We’re going to a fancy restaurant and hope the Rapture comes after dinner but before the check arrives.
May 19, 2011 at 5:35 am
I kind of love it.
May 19, 2011 at 6:09 am
Perhaps I will get to leave work early or get called out in case our census drops! That or I will be working a crap load of over time…
May 19, 2011 at 6:48 am
I’ll be in a Catholic church at Mass on Saturday from 5 to 6. I’m having dinner with a lovely couple who are Witnesses – I can’t wait to find out what they think of this.
May 19, 2011 at 7:01 am
Best. Party. Ever. I would like to bring my buddy the seven headed, 10 horned beast as my plus one, if that’s not a problem.
May 19, 2011 at 7:22 am
THAT IS NOT A SHRUG IT IS A SWEATER. I AM SO TIRED OF YOU MISLABELING KNITWEAR. IT IS FLOUNCE O’CLOCK. Don’t try to stop me!!!1!
May 19, 2011 at 8:19 am
I have lame photoshopping skills…I admit…I used Paint.
May 19, 2011 at 8:43 am
nothing wrong with paint…it’s old school…it’s ironic…it’s almost hipster!
May 19, 2011 at 8:39 am
I would be very happy to give anything plush and deranged a good home.
May 19, 2011 at 9:01 am
I’d suggest being careful on the roads on Friday and Saturday. I’ll bet that these wackos haven’t ALL given away their vehicles, and some of them will be operating them with eyes cast skyward. This is going to result in someone’s own private little “Judgement Day” before it’s over.
That said, we *should* all fill up inflatable adult dolls with helium, like in the urban legend, and freak everyone out.
May 19, 2011 at 9:03 am
As well, I’m reminded of an episode of Becker:
: Hi! Do you want to go to Heaven?
: Will *you* be there?
: Yes!
: [Slams door.]
May 19, 2011 at 9:20 am
i know i’m late to this end of the world party, but just had to say: thank you for featuring this woman’s work. i think it is absolutely brilliant and needs to be seen by everyone. i grew up with books full of the religious imagery that she uses for her collages, and i piss myself laughing every time i see her images. also, i got her cards for christmas cards, and she is awesome.
i have no interest in collecting the stuff you are giving away, but i will probably watch anyway.
also, perhaps someone should commission Francesca to make a “raptor raptur” collage.
May 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm
I went to her store last night and bought several of her works. The “Family Time” one is going into my kitchen!
May 19, 2011 at 9:33 am
May 19, 2011 at 9:34 am
And where is MC 900 Foot Jesus when we need him?
May 19, 2011 at 9:47 am
What I’ve never figured out is why all those fundamentalists, who always insist that the bible is to be taken literally, believe in some random equations when it’s clearly stated that nobody knows the date when Jesus will return. And those bits about false prophets and fortune tellers and so on… suddenly all irrelevant. Oh well, there must be a loophole somewhere if it’s your own prophet.
May 19, 2011 at 9:33 pm
There’s always a loophole.
I say as long as you stay away from kool-aid stands and Nike shoe stores on Saturday, you’re probably going to be ok.
May 19, 2011 at 9:47 am
I’ll have to stop by here where I get done at Avenue Q with my lady friend of the night.
May 19, 2011 at 9:51 am
*or “when.” That would make that a complete sentence wouldn’t it.
May 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm
You’ll be with a woman, but you can still “grab your dick and double click, ’cause the Internet is for porn.”
May 19, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Well… I don’t really have one of those unless I smuggle it in my bag. >_>
Though if the rapture comes while at the play that may come in handy for a last screw before I’m screwed?
May 19, 2011 at 9:56 am
There needs to be a gif of Debbie Harry singing Rapture…
May 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm
[URL=http://www.gifsoup.com/view/2516765/rapture-blondie.html][IMG]http://www.gifsoup.com/imager.php?id=2516765&t=o[/IMG][/URL] [URL=http://www.gifsoup.com/]GIFSoup[/URL]
May 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm
and by that, i mean:
May 20, 2011 at 2:39 am
yes!!! Exactly what I had in mind!! TY!
May 19, 2011 at 9:59 am
I’m gonna hang out with Craig:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPdFrW076R0
May 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm
all this and none of you connected the impending Rapture and end of the world as we know it with Apple’s secret plans to cloak all their stores in black draping?
Waiting for the launch of the iRapture
May 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I will do awful, awful things for your Princess Diana/Prince Charles divorce mug. I MEAN IT.
May 19, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I could not be more jazzed about this. Both the end of the world and free shit.
May 19, 2011 at 2:51 pm
May 19, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Breaking away from extremely important preparations to tell you all that I nominate this card for jesusoftheweek.com.
May 19, 2011 at 7:55 pm
If it’s true that only Judgement Day is Saturday, and the world doesn’t actually end until October…
Those are five months I’m gonna be smokin’ like a chimney.
May 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Hi everyone. I’m hoping someone can help me out. I wanted to buy this print off of etsy, but when I try to sign up for an account their super-awesome-specatularly-creamy site tells me my email address is an invalid. Even though it isn’t!
I can’t find a way to contact them about it without having to have an account, so it’s not really working out.
May 26, 2011 at 10:54 pm
you can just shop with her on her website. unusualcards.com
http://unusualcards.com/occasions.html