Sexy as shit!
First of all, what is the crouching tiger, pooping woman doing? Poop? Tampon?
Second of all, I don’t care if there is a million dollars at stake if I think I may shit myself I’m stopping to poop
Crouching tiger, hidden portaloo
What has seen CANNOT BE UNSEEN. AAAGH! Bleeding nipples…. *shudder*
Tape my nips, my bloody nips/My mom tapes my bloody nips
i wish i had basic photoshop skills so i could cover his nips with two running is sexy buttons
I made an account just to make this for you.
oh god yes. puttin’ this one in the spank bank…
Why, oh why are his nipples bleeding??? Ew (and ow)!
From his shirt rubbing on them. It happens a LOT more often than this seller knows, apparently…
Hey! You’re one of those damned Etsy resellers, aren’t you?!?
Oh, god! Can one laugh and vomit at the same time?
no. I think that’s how Jimi Hendrix died.
I like how the last guy has a look on his face like, “Who farted??”
Or a look like, “Oh God, oh God, I just shit myself in front of thousands of people and now I have to run in it.” Or a look like, “Oh God, I’m picturing what I look like right now. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything for at least 3 days.”
How the hell do you manage to shit on yourself while running? THe throwing-up thing, I’ve at least heard of before. But the bleeding nipples? The shitting? Are these common occurrences? Are these people masochists?
The questions have overwhelmed my brain. I need a nap and a brownie now.
Running kinda jiggles your intestines, so you lose some control (…or all control) over your bowel movements and can’t just hold it in. Bleeding nipples isn’t uncommon among men who run because they don’t wear sports bras so their nips rub against their shirt, which can cause bleeding.
In other words it’s pretty damn sexy!
here’s a little personal tidbit: I’m a runner, and after mile 4 I have to take a crap. Every time. I’m convinced it’s because of the intestinal jiggling. (I’ve always been able to hold it in; good motivation for those last few miles!)
On a related note, am I the only one who wants to know how the shit got on the front of his shorts?? Did he start shitting through his penis?
I hate to seem like an optimist… but I think that’s vomit, not shit. That’s why it’s on the front of his shorts and legs.
God. I hate that I even spent 3 seconds of my life going, “I wonder if that’s shit, or barf?”
I’m amazed that, through all these comments, no one has mentioned the George Carlin stand-up or the CKY video! It’s fowl, so I won’t post it, but just go to youtube and do a search for “CKY running poop”. It IS possible to crap while running, and the running motion will actually make it come up to the front of your legs. That is most likely not vomit.
I’m so glad I broke my years of lurkdom to inform y’all.
Well…you learn something new about shitting yourself everyday.
On more than one occasion have I come outside in the morning to throw the trash in the dumpster before the garbagemen show up and “walk in” on a jogger SHITTING BEHIND MY DUMPSTER!! That is NOT okay!
It’s kinda like with dogs – you take a dog for a walk or they run around, and inevitably they have to shit…..at least they’re smart enough to stop and take a dump….marathoners are fucking insane….
My brain refuses to believe that’s shit, even though it knows better. Surely some mean spirited spectator lobbed a balloon full of muddy water at him when he passed by. Surely. Right???
kristinaaahhhh…the new and improved Charlie Sheen poster!
my family and i worked on the iron man triathalon at panama city beach for many years. i was always at the finish line with water to make sure runners kept walking around and didn’t just stop. Most of them (men AND women) came through with bleeding nipples. Throwing up happens. People could also have nasty wounds on knees and elbows from falling over. They wouldn’t stop for treatment. Never seen someone covered in poo, thankfully!
Writing as One Who Knows, that looks like a catastrophic ileostomy bag failure. Copious sweat and vigorous motion can make them simply fall off. It’s probably hard for nineteen
year-old athlete, but sometimes one must accept one’s limitations. He has my respect for even trying.
Don’t know aboaut him but I certainly do ot feel like snacking. The pepole in the crowd do not look too thrilled either.
Yes, I was thinking that, too… a nap and ANY kind of comfort food that is NOT brown!
Like for instance alcohol… preferably in large quantities. But not so large that… ah blergh, the whole thing is just disgusinting.
From the Internet
“Photo taken during ‘Goteborgsvarvet’ in Sweden 2006. The running man was 19 years old and he reached the finishing line as number 21st”
Yeah, see, 21st isn’t a good enough placing (for me anyway) to justify shitting all over myself.
more like “who sharted?”
I’ll just sit here on my ass, thanks.
Could you pass the chips?
& that whole cake right there? I’m kinda hungry…
The fudge one? I think I’ll pass.
At least that way I can get to a bathroom.
How does running make ones nipples bleed uncontrollably??? I’m seriously disturbed and perplexed by that photo.
…and Fiberglas sportswear.
And salt produced by your own body begging you to stop.
…and pinching them constantly.
I would love to see someone breastfeeding while running a marathon.
someone totally needs to photoshop a runner breastfeeding
Yes, and it’s really quite painful. Usually it’s newbs that learn that lesson the hard way. They make Body Glide for a reason.
Yeah. I’ve been using Body Glide on my nipples for years. Now, what’s this about running?
Apparently, nipple skin won’t callous, so it just ends up bleeding from all the friction. They even sell little nipple shields you can stick on there to avoid the rivers of blood streaming from your nipples. I like to call them “Jogger Pasties.”
Another useful Regretsy-inspired product…Jogger Pasties.
Seriously, how do you know about shit like that?
I learned it from Cracked and Googling while bored at work.
I learned it from the Office
I learned it from Cracked, too, PensEnvy! I’m not a psychotic runner. I promise! But maybe I would start running if I got to wear sequined, tasseled Jogger Pasties. I like to feel glamorous while jogging.
How about red tassels so it looks like blood is spurting out of your nipples? I may have made myself a bit sick.
I learned it from my best friend’s father after he ran his first marathon. Nothing says “Eye of the Tiger” like a 54 year-old man lactating blood.
A few years ago I made the mistake of going out shopping without a bra – just a loose shirt that had a rougher texture than I’d initially realized.
By the end of the day The Girls were chapped to hell (although not bleeding, thank god).
So I knew exactly what was up with that first photo – although I’d hoped it was Photoshopped/exaggerated.
But wouldn’t running be even SEXIER if they wore REAL pasties?
Twirling as you ran? Maybe glow-in-the-dark ones for midnight runs?
As long as they’re for both sexes, I firmly endorse this idea.
I agree, both sexes should wear pasties, but gender-appropriate pasties.
Oh, wait, maybe not. If the runner in the last photo had worn one…no, I don’t want to think about anything hitting the fan.
There is also a product called Body Glide (or all one word, don’t remember) that can be applied to nipples, inner thighs, upper arms, even feet (blisters). It’s in a stick-deodorant type container and makes a kind of waxy coating so the fabric will slide over rather than rubbing you raw.
Hmmmmm, this might be something to look into for thighs rubbing together. Does there have to be fabric involved?
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Do the thighs have to belong to the same person?
There’s also a lube called BodyGlide. If the product is cherry flavoured, it might not be the one you want
I need want bathroom tissue impregnated with this substance.
Body Glide works skin to skin, and skin to fabric….people on the 3 Day Walks live by this shit, but in all honesty – when I tried it, I got a fucking blister. I’ll take my 2 pairs of socks (or a jogbra, or bandaids on the nips) over that annoying stick of crap…
This only reinforces my laziness. I’d rather troll regretsy all night than run & get bloody nipples. Or have to use anti-nipple chafe gel. Or breastfeed.
I believe someone has just found the newest item to sell on etsy
I guess I should have read all the way down before asking wabout bleeding nipples. Gee, you really do learn something new every day!
“jogger Pasties” made me choke on my slurpee
I actually read the post, closed it, then came BACK to ask that. Yeah, I’m thinking there was some unforeseen(?) Spandex chafing. I wonder if wearing a padded bra would help?
Its typically only guys who have this happen due to their shirt rubbing for an extended period of time. You don’t need a padded sports bra, just a well fitting one to prevent it as a woman.
I was kinda joking, and suggesting a bra for that guy in particular.
I learned about it on How I Met Your Mother, when Marshall started training for a marathon. There’s a hilarious scene of him vaselining up his massive man-nipples.
Thank you. I knew there was a reason why I didn’t need to eat dinner tonight. *shudder*
The pin for the last guy would read: the runs are sexy
Nike’s new ad: “Just Spew It!”
Did you ever see the Gatorade ad that was played in MOVIE THEATERS that included someone puking in lime green or purple or something? No? Then consider yourself lucky.
Exactly what we all want to see for 10 bucks a head: fluorescent vomit 30 feet tall.
And they wonder why people don’t like going to the movies.
Somehow I don’t really think that would help their sales.
Maaaan, I can’t find it on YouTube or anywhere and everyone’s going to think I’m nuts now. But it had various athletes sweating, bleeding, and vomiting Gatorade in different colors, and was part of their campaign using the slogan “Is it in you?” (Answer: apparently not anymore.)
You’re not nuts, I remember it too.
is that chick pissing on the side of the road with people just right next to her!!?>?!1
She is. If you look closely, and I know you want to, she is pulling her jogging panties (whatever you call them) over to the side and there is a wet spot on the ground under her.
Yes. And would you believe that she then went on to set a world record? Pop-A-Squat Paula, you’re my peero!
That article is referring to a, um “number two” incident (the cracked article linked below talks about it too.) I imagine stopping for a pee isn’t too uncommon – I know dudes just whip it out and try to point sideways while they keep running.
Hopefully they are not running in a pack when doing that.
Yeah, I guess watching a marathon is kind of like going to a Black Eyed Peas show.
Shouldn’t that be the Black-Eyed Pees?
Aw, she went Boom Boom Pow in her pants.
I really hope that is actually crotch sweat…
I kinda hope it’s not… That’s a swampy bajingo right there.
Nope, its not. She was called on it & she said that she just couldn’t hold it or some such garbage.
Nah, she peed. http://www.spinner.com/2009/11/10/fergie-pees-her-pants-on-stage/
Somehow she seems as nonchalant as if she’s emptying out a water bottle.
Looks like a muscle cramp.
I feel her pain.
Wow. I’m happy to say that I’ve never seen my runner friends or family ever do any of those things.
I do a 10K every July and have thankfully never seen any of this in person.
They have porta-potties one and a half miles in. If you have to pee after that you’re doing something wrong.
You usually have to go pretty far before these things start to happen – like a marathon or longer. You rarely see this kind of thing in 5k, 10k or half-marathons.
Show me all the so-called photographic evidence to the contrary you want. I’ve seen it on a button and buttons do not lie. Mean people suck. My other boss is a blah blah blahrpenter.
And Darwin was a fish with legs, and I WILL practice random acts of kindness and oh forget it I’m way too lazy.
I really want a “my boss is a blah blah blahrpenter” bumper sticker.
Have at it. It’s the new spiritual call of our generation. I am a woman of the cloth, after all.
Repurposed, vintage, organic cloth I assume?
If they knew this was going to happen, why didn’t they get out the Depends and the lactation pads out – THERE ARE PRODUCTS AVAILABLE, PEOPLE.
I think the first half of your first sentence is the important part there.
Maybe even a small amount of extra weight may slow them down? I might be wrong to assume runners are the people equivalents of race cars.
I wouldn’t want to see the bloody chaffing caused by a full pair of Depends after 26 miles. Ew.
I would rather NOT see the chaffing – better all tucked in on the inside where it belongs.
Well, you know, I’m told there are lots of people who like that. . . in Germany. O.o
Funny you mention that–I met a German couple in a bdsm club and they swore that Germans are really not interested in that at all. Nope,not at all. They were surprised we Americans even imagined that they did that.
Smiles ruefully and shakes head in amusement
I really want to make some kind of munch/munchhausen comment, but dagnabbit, can’t come up with anything.
In this case, Queen, just the thought is enough. (giggle)
What’s with that woman who’s squatting? Is she collapsing? Is she peeing? Cause that’s what comes to mind.
Maybe she’s just fixing a wedgie.
she is pulling her shorts to the side and her twat is hanging out…I believe she is having a healthy “wee”.
I hope she doesn’t get any pee on her shoes – that would be embarrassing!
I’m now waiting for all the anti-hovering-no-exceptions fundamentalists to pitch a hissy…
Oh, let it go…
Yeah, you’re right. She really is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6I2-YP42rs
I remember watching this live in the London Marathon coverage that year along with millions of others. She apologised to the nation afterwards.
Whoever took the pictures could do some aplogivng too. In the entire race there was nothing better to see?
The thing I find amusing is the fact that she chose to do it right in front of the water bottle table.
Well, I’ll be damned!
Running is sexy!
Sexy as a shart on the roadside. Sexy as your barf on my shoes.
hey, isn’t that an Alanis Morrisette lyric?
You are on fire- figuratively speaking.
Do I gross you out?
My nipples are bleeding on my shirt
And you say Where is your body glide?
I don’t want to piss on the roadside today
There I go shitting on my shorts again
and I can’t help it.
In the butt.
If you somehow managed to miss the Samwell video, I recommend you Google it. You’ll be singing it all day!
Twat is what.
And “grease” is the word.
And bird is also the word.
Thank God I am a fat, lazy, jealous, loser and I don’t have to put myself through that to achieve such a level of sexiness!
That nipple guy needs a running bro.
Bandaids! Who would run eithour bandaids?
Without. Damn you, auto correct!
IT’S CALLED A MANZIER
Ewwww, WHAT THE FUCK? MY EYES!
Well, I WAS going to go grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner, but now I don’t think that’ll be necessary. Ick.
Don’t feel like running to the store?
I see what you did there.
But, no, it involved hopping into my POSBMW and driving. ;p
That’s okay, my daughter just handed me a bowl of chocolate pudding. Umm… thanks hon… carefully moves it to the far side of the desk…
That problem’s solved… my son just came into the living room complaining we have nothing chocolate. Here… have some pudding!
I can’t say this has done much for the exercise portion of my getting healthy plan but it’s done wonders for the diet part.
Depending on your level of sexual depravity this could be right up their alley!!
Ooo, hadn’t thought of the fetish angle. Excellent point!
I try to use my brain some of the time *polishes nails on shirt*
Maybe running IS sexy. That cop sure looks turned on. “Mmm.. Baby, what did you eat? I got a little twinkie for ya.”
Brain bleach!!! For the love of (insert diety of choice), where did I hide the brain bleach?????
My first thought was this Cracked article: The 5 Most Terrifying Side Effects of Exercise
Clearly my fatassery is better for me in the long run!
(first post, woot woot)
Damnit! I’m at work and the Cracked website is filtered! When I try to view it, the content warning is ‘filtered as Tasteless’. *facepalm*
And yet you can access Regretsy? *laughs*
And WTF up with the Nazi filter?! Who the fuck does it think it is to call something “tasteless?” Does it redirect you to a YouTube video of dancing kittens or something.
I resent that, Sir or Madam. We represent the most tasteful and cultured group of whimsicle fuckers you will ever meet.
Yes, oh the irony! The sheer unadulterated IRONY! I just thank my lucky stars I am able to get on Regresty, it completes me. Unfortunately, this site will probably be blocked soon due to my obsession.
As far as being redirected to a YouTube video of dancing kittens, no, it redirects me to flouncecats.com.
At my job, if you try to send an email through Outlook Express with any foul words in it you get a message that says your email is inappropriate and cannot be sent.
What if you need to have a breast exam in the city of Toppenish, Washington? (I’m not kidding. The computers in the school system in Toppenish wouldn’t let you go to the school website.)
Oh no, Cracked. I’m too much of a sucker for countdown lists.
Bleeding nips? Check.
Man, I’m horny now.
You missed the period blood all over Uta Pippig’s legs
You know, up until you said that, I was comfortable with the illusion that she’d gored her leg somehow. Damn you, reality! *shakes fist*
I was hoping it was because her shorts rubbed her legs raw
Oh. So she didn’t fall down… O_o
Judging by her physique, she hasn’t had a period for years – woman’s got no body fat! Yep – it’s just bloody, runny poop.
According to the Boston Globe it is period blood and diarrhea. http://www.boston.com/zope_homepage/sports/marathon_archive/history/1996.htm
Apparently that is ass blood….0_0
She had severe colitis.
that’s what I thought too! looks like its smeared in her crotch then runs down the back of her leg and around to her shin.
I call bullshit on that button. There’s nothing sexy about running, as evidenced by those nipple-bleeding, public-pissing, not-drunk-vomiting, shot-with-a-shit-supersoaker photos.
I gots me another reason to remain sedentary.
The girl in the blue outfit second picture from the bottom, I think I have actually seen a video of her running. It was one of the things things that popped into my head when I saw “running in sexy”.
She was competing in the Iron Man Marathon and near the end her legs were completely giving out, kind of… not sexy to watch.
Maybe the guy with the bleeding nipples had mistakenly attached those buttons to each one as a fashion statement before starting the race.
Nipple Piercing: You’re Doing It Wrong.
Does this mean I have to be running while taking the proverbial flying shit in order to be sexy? No, says I – I can piss in my own shoe without having to rearrange my labia, thank you!
Well, I *was* getting ready to go to the gym. Someone pass the Pringles.
He is SO SURPRISED that he shit his pants!
I actually enjoyed running, prior to damaging my foot. However those who are so serious about it that they pee & shit themselves have never appealed to me. I’m more of a run & toilet kind of girl than a run & shit myself kind.
Amen. I have no problem stopping to take care of what matters. I’m pretty much not likely to win any races…maybe that’s why I don’t give a…no, I can’t go there.
Why why why do you keep running with poo all over? I would shamefully hide in a bush
All runners should carry a full change of clothes with them. Two, if they’re in one of those really long marathons.
Or at least carry some toilet paper with them.
runners have pride man, they are sexy and PROUD.
Once you have poo all over you, how could you ever stop running? At least until you found a kind stranger with a hose. Yeah I’m looking at you Robin Quivers.
I hope I am never so obsessed about something that I literally shit myself over it! That’s just I don’t even…
I would imagine the people in front of him have drastically increased their pace.
Those poor people behind him…
shitting yourself while running a marathon is actually in the Jim Fixx* “Running” book. Don’t make me go look up the page number.
*Jim Fixx is the guy who dropped dead of a heart attack while…. running.
Dennis Leary taught me that. (about the heart attack)
Heck, if it’s this common, I don’t know why they don’t have a car with a fire hose to spray the poop off.
See! I knew my rule of only running when chased was a good one. These pictures just prove it. Since I never get chased, I never have to run. Brilliant.
fuck it, I don’t even run when chased. I’ll stand down the fucker first….
This gives me the impression that a marathon course would smell like the elephant house at the zoo.
“Ya Bud, remember that one marathon we ran together? Dan had to get nipple re-constructive surgery, Kelly showed her lady bits to everyone, I puked, EVERYONE pissed their pants, and you shit yourself? Ahhh, good times, good times! We should do it again sometime”
Hmmm, I ain’t felt sexy for a while now and I do feel a bout of fried food disaster comming on. I’m getting on my short shorts and going out to try this….
Talk about feeling sexy, it worked like a hot damn! A few sneering neighbourhood bitches and a pack of dogs later, I’m now back home considering my next poop and run….
My nipples hurt in sympathy.
Why would you keep running once you shit yourself? I mean, really, is there no shame left? No one wants to hand a ribbon to someone covered in shit.
Why not, Etsy hand out kudos to THINGS coverd in shit.
I was hungry, then I saw this. Now I don’t have to get up and cook! THANKS, REGRETSY!
@Regretsy made me lose my appetite.
The Regretsy Diet: calorie reduction from appetite loss and exercise from laughing your ass off. Just be sure to read it alone in case you wet your pants!
In which case
READING REGRETSY IS SEXY!
Pretty soon you’ll be thin enough to fit into some Vulvaroos
Good, now I don’t have to figure out what to make for dinner. Xp
May I suggest blood sausage and gravy.
Well, the button does picture the shoes covered in what could be fecal matter, so it might be a very specifically targeted brown shower. In any case, I’ve always felt that runners have a weird pain thing going on and the pictures just confirm it…
Why don’t the men just run topless? I mean, not only do I get to objectify them as they run by, but this completely solves the bleeding nipple problem.
Not really, because then you’d have to pin the number to their nipples and you’re right back where you started.
The not-funny technical answer: because wearing a running shirt made of wicking fabric actually keeps you cooler than running bare-chested (or in just a sports bra). Also you need something to pin your number to.
And think about the sunburn….
Plus, in the beginning phases, the jiggly moobs.
And I’m not hating – I’m a fatty-fat-fat myself who doesn’t run because my DDs would revolt and punch me in the brain-case. I’m just saying that I’ve seen joggers shirtless, and sometimes it’s just not a pretty sight.
Oh god, don’t even GET me started on inappropriate attire while running/working out. WTF are most people thinking? Do they not own mirrors? I’m a fatty fat currently who works out – and I cover that shit up so no one barfs at the gym. Just because you’re a size 6 doesn’t mean you should bop around the gym in just a jogbra, ya know? Ugh. Drives me fucking bonkers…
Photo #5 by itself woulda done it just fine.
Okay, anyone know that Don Hertzfeldt toon, “Rejected”? You know the, “My anus is bleeding” segment? Now I have that little shrieky voice screaming in my head – “My nipples are bleeding. My nipples are bleeding…For the love of God, and all that is holy, MY NIPPLES ARE BLEEDING!!!”
If you don’t know it, here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M17aG_Po2Y
I wasted an unbelievable amount of hours in college watching that. Which is pretty impressive, considering it is a short film.
My spoon is too big!
I am a BANANA!
I’m so incredibly lucky that I get this reenacted to me every time my husband and his best friend get together. Oh, and also “But I poop from there.” “Not tonight you don’t.”
Yup. I’m one lucky gal. At least that’s what he keeps telling me. Sometimes I have my doubts…
You think running is sexy? Try skateboarding.
(Insert picture of compound elbow fracture here. I was going to do it, but I think we have endured enough vomit-inducing imagery for one day.)
Thank you. Seeing broken bones in anyway but an x-ray leaves me traumatized. Even thinking about it… *goes to find a happy place*
I have a sudden hankering for Dinty Moore Beef Stew…
Oh I hate you.
I was thinking a nice, big bowl of chili.
Is the nipple guy a complete noob to running, or has he just never run in a shirt before? Maybe he forgot his pasties, couldn’t find any bandaids and the other runners were being big meanies and not sharing?
Am I the ONLY one who saw that button and thought rape?
I mean seriously: “I like it when they run away. -breathes heavily-”
Well, that’s what I’m thinking now…
I’LL STICK WITH “KINDA FAT,” THANKS.
Picture No4 is Paula Radcliffe, a British world champion marathon runner and yes, she did stop to pee during the London Marathon a few years ago, in front of everyone lining the street and on live tv!
She could use one of the female urination devices from the pussy panties post.
That was the fastest pee, too.
Over a hundred comments and nobody’s yet pointed out that #2 really looks as if she could use a tampon?
Then again, maybe that’s why she’s so damn happy to be crossing the finish line.
Uta Pippig name will forever be emblazoned in my mind for that.
So running marathons makes one menstruate from their knees now?
took the words right outta my mouth!
So *that’s* where my period went!
if you look further up there is um..smear on her thighs, and a trail down her thigh and around her knee
I’ll have to trust you on that one.
Someone mentioned further up the thread that it was actually anal bleeding. Still gross, but there you go.
she could have a tampon in there and it just filled up and started leaking. And no, that never happened to me…
I’m kinda surprised she’s menstruating at all. Many marathoners don’t; you have to have a certain amount of body fat to menstruate. Otherwise, your hormones think you are int he midst of a famine and couldn’t support a baby to term, so you don’t ovulate.
Fat or covered in shit….fat or covered in shit…fat or covered in shit.
Please pass da cookies.
I sold my treadmill last night and now I think it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Cookies and beer (and not that light shit) time?
If you take Alli you can have both and be covered in fatty shit. Fat or oily anal discharge….fat or oily anal discharge…. Make mine a pint of Cherry Garcia.
So, does she also have one that says “childbirth is sexy” ?
No but she does have on that says “free hugs” which would look AWESOME on that last guy.
Here ya go:
I love you, Rushgirl.
I’m totally making this my desktop background.
I did another version while you were doing this, I’ll post it further down…this one got my thumbs up!
Why do i suddenly have the song “nowhere to run to” going through my head?
Everyone knows you just have to do the Andy Bernard from The Office trick to not get bleeding nipples
I just thanked my husband for being so lazy, after trying to describe this post to him.
Him: o.O ‘Nipple bleed’?
Me: “Yeah, and then the next one is like…”
Him: THAT’S ENOUGH I DON’T WANT TO KNOW KTHX
I my nipples even started to itch, let alone bleed, I losing the shirt all together.
I had another tab open, the only thing my husband could see was “Running is Sexy” – since I’ve been (attempting to) run lately, he was curious.
I’m pretty sure he’s sorry he asked now.
Lol, mine said “Running IS sexy!” (he runs, though thankfully not like these people. Not competitively, just in the regular jogger way.)
(I proved him wrong when I clicked over, I think.)
Perhaps running is so sexy that the first guys nipples exploded……
My nipples explode with delight!
Drop your panties, Sir William – I cannot wait until lunchtime!
Now there’s sexy for ya! Exploding nipples! WooHoo!
Sexing is runny. Obviously.
Apparently there’s a whole tradition of the lactating Jesus where the blood from his spear-induced wound is combined with the main ideas from the last supper and…reinterpreted to where people drink blood from his breast.
But apparently Jesus was just a runner and not lactating blood at all. The things you learn from Regretsy.
Run and you’ll only die tired.
We all die; why do I want to hurry up and get there?
I was listening to my rock station one morning and last year’s winner of the Cincinnati Flying Pig marathon was in talking to them, and he said that he crossed the finish line, and promptly threw up on the shoes of the race organizer who came to congratulate him. Somehow… I think I prefer my sedentary lifestyle, than barfing on people trying to give me awards.
I at least hope that last guy was running in an Iron Man and not a 5K
I do feel bad for this dude…..
The worst part is that everyone knows what he had for dinner last night.
“dude, sloppy joes was a bad choice”
I love the expressions of the people in the background. My reaction to this picture was much more extreme (won’t be eating dinner for a while…) but I can appreciate the can’t-look-away nature of seeing that go by you in real life. You’ll notice the lady is smiling – maybe because she just made her husband change their baby’s diaper and she’s glad she didn’t have to deal with that shit.
His own fault – he didn’t bother to shop Etsy for one of its lovely butt plugs.
Running makes me angry.
I realize this misses the mark a bit, but this image is the first thing I thought of when I read the title to this post:
And then I giggled.
Until I saw the guy covered in his own shit.
Ms. Killer and Mr. Drywall, in the future, please note that images of diarrhea need to be labeled NSFW. Thank you.
“NSFEHS” also works.
But blood, vomit, and pee are ok?
yeah… not so much.
Thought process upon viewing these pictures:
Jesus… are his *nipples* bleeding? Why?! Woman with a bleeding leg, person vomiting, not so weird – wait. Is that a woman pausing to pop a squat mid-marathon?! And the last picture? OH GOD HE SHAT HIMSELF. The shame, the horror, the clean-up… at least this post gave me another reason to avoid exercise and sit on my fat ass.
Yeah, it’s not a problem with the gals, who can wear sports bras, but to the dudes, you GOTTA TAPE THE NIPS.
peeps are down thumbing us? why? no reason? I don’t likey the running ey… hey? me no likey.
That last picture is the most disgusting thing I have seen in a long time. I’m now regretting the beef stew I ate for dinner.
You guys think marathons are bad? Think triathlons and long stage bike races… Guys just whip it out left and right- so careful what side of the road you’re spectating on! Gals unfortunately have a more complicated process, so it’s inevitably more “embarrassing,” time-consuming, and uncomfortable. “Comfort” stations are few and far between. In many triathlons, it’s just par for the course, so to speak, that folks will relieve themselves wherever. This is the main reason why I don’t do triathlons. That and the fact I can’t swim, bike, or run anywhere near the distances required.
At least if you piss during the swimming portion no one will know except the guy behind you who might note a change in water temperature.
Yeah, I’m just going to stay here on my fat ass and eat Sun Chips. If I shit myself, I’m the only one that will see it. Well, my toddler, but he shits himself too, so it will be like we have some kind of connection or something.
Hey… Sun Chips are healthy! The more you eat, the more weight you will lose!
*******”The More You Know!!! *******
Gross! Are those pictures real?
Running may be healthy but makes people look sooo old!
Yeah, they’re real. Runner’s nipple is a real condition, people lose control of their exit ports and, along with it, their dignity.
I doubt most of the medical establishment considers this level of exercise healthy. Everything in moderation.
This is from the BBC article about the lady in blue, taking a pee (or poo?):
“Radcliffe’s next major target will be the World Athletics Championships in Helsinki in August.” :O
I don’t care if you cross the finish line before the other runners. If you’re covered in your own faeces, you haven’t won.
This is what I’ve been trying to say between going D: and x:
Funny- Me and Chuck just had a long conversation about runners the other day. I did not know about the bloody nipples- thanks for reminding me to google the images. I knew about the poop- makes running look so glamorous!
As soon as I saw this I thought of this:
Got to admire their pluck…but, it’s so not sexy
I read Born to Run a while back, and it mentions the shitting-yourself stuff, but what haunts me most is the mental image of a man popping a blood blister between a runner’s ass cheeks with his fingernails. THANKS FOR THAT ONE, CHRISTOPHER MCDOUGALL.
By your reasoning, you could make up buttons that say “Drinking is Sexy”. Or “Babies are Sexy”. (On second thought, better not make that last one.)
What I want to know is how the guy BEHIND the guy who shit himself reacted. I know they’re not going as fast as, say, a car, but it happened so explosively he couldn’t stop it, so you have to think there was some back splash.
One more thing I can add to the list of things to never do… Go to a marathon (don’t worry I never planned to run in one, I’m too lazy)
You know, just the other day I was on Hulu getting my free week of Plus membership. I spent it watching Project Runway and two seasons of Biggest Loser. (Cool story, bro.)
Anyway – at the end of season 11, there is a marathon run and Bob the Trainer Guru is running with the chick who is trying to beat the time another female Biggest Loser set in the marathon. She had to go to the bathroom. She took six minutes and all Bob could say when she got out was, “You know, real marathon runners go in their pants.”
I thought it had a sort of hostile tone for a really gross joke.
Now I know it wasn’t a joke.
And now I wonder how many times Bob has gone in his pants.
Not sure if that lady was stopping to poop, pee, or puke… but that dude covered in his own feces really takes the cake. That is clearly a web-gem that deserves tons of etsy merchandise made in his likeness. I’m thinking buttons, t-shirts, maybe even a crocheted blanket, but since I can’t make any of those- as I’m only predisposed to hate crafters and their craftiness- I’m going to go masturbate.
You’re going to masturbate to the image of a man in short-shorts with warm liquid faeces sliding down his leg and oozing into his soon-to-be-replaced shoe as a horrified public looks on?
This calls for the scream…Munch had just finished a 10K when he painted it.
I hate to be the non-snarky one, but if you run normal, non-race distances, none of this stuff should happen to you. My crazy boyfriend just takes off in a dead run at random times during the day, and he’s still sexy when he gets back. Slightly sweaty, but that’s fine, too.
If this is sexy, you’re doing it wrong.
I recently got snarked-down for being a half-assed jogger who does not aspire to marathons.
I think this more than supports my position.
Yes, that’s the sound of my soul slowly dying.
There are no words for shitting on yourself in public.
OK, I’m working backwards from mid-June and I’ve now seen that shitting guy seven times. Don’t make me flounce out of here, you fat bitches! Also, Jews! And um, dykes! No wait, something about overweight gay Jews! Hang on, give me a sec, I’ll get it…
I think the phrase you’re looking for is “fat Jewless loosers”.
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