Or a look like, “Oh God, oh God, I just shit myself in front of thousands of people and now I have to run in it.” Or a look like, “Oh God, I’m picturing what I look like right now. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything for at least 3 days.”
How the hell do you manage to shit on yourself while running? THe throwing-up thing, I’ve at least heard of before. But the bleeding nipples? The shitting? Are these common occurrences? Are these people masochists?
The questions have overwhelmed my brain. I need a nap and a brownie now.
Running kinda jiggles your intestines, so you lose some control (…or all control) over your bowel movements and can’t just hold it in. Bleeding nipples isn’t uncommon among men who run because they don’t wear sports bras so their nips rub against their shirt, which can cause bleeding.
here’s a little personal tidbit: I’m a runner, and after mile 4 I have to take a crap. Every time. I’m convinced it’s because of the intestinal jiggling. (I’ve always been able to hold it in; good motivation for those last few miles!)
On a related note, am I the only one who wants to know how the shit got on the front of his shorts?? Did he start shitting through his penis?
I’m amazed that, through all these comments, no one has mentioned the George Carlin stand-up or the CKY video! It’s fowl, so I won’t post it, but just go to youtube and do a search for “CKY running poop”. It IS possible to crap while running, and the running motion will actually make it come up to the front of your legs. That is most likely not vomit.
I’m so glad I broke my years of lurkdom to inform y’all.
On more than one occasion have I come outside in the morning to throw the trash in the dumpster before the garbagemen show up and “walk in” on a jogger SHITTING BEHIND MY DUMPSTER!! That is NOT okay!
It’s kinda like with dogs – you take a dog for a walk or they run around, and inevitably they have to shit…..at least they’re smart enough to stop and take a dump….marathoners are fucking insane….
My brain refuses to believe that’s shit, even though it knows better. Surely some mean spirited spectator lobbed a balloon full of muddy water at him when he passed by. Surely. Right???
my family and i worked on the iron man triathalon at panama city beach for many years. i was always at the finish line with water to make sure runners kept walking around and didn’t just stop. Most of them (men AND women) came through with bleeding nipples. Throwing up happens. People could also have nasty wounds on knees and elbows from falling over. They wouldn’t stop for treatment. Never seen someone covered in poo, thankfully!
Writing as One Who Knows, that looks like a catastrophic ileostomy bag failure. Copious sweat and vigorous motion can make them simply fall off. It’s probably hard for nineteen
year-old athlete, but sometimes one must accept one’s limitations. He has my respect for even trying.
From the Internet
“Photo taken during ‘Goteborgsvarvet’ in Sweden 2006. The running man was 19 years old and he reached the finishing line as number 21st”
Apparently, nipple skin won’t callous, so it just ends up bleeding from all the friction. They even sell little nipple shields you can stick on there to avoid the rivers of blood streaming from your nipples. I like to call them “Jogger Pasties.”
I learned it from Cracked, too, PensEnvy! I’m not a psychotic runner. I promise! But maybe I would start running if I got to wear sequined, tasseled Jogger Pasties. I like to feel glamorous while jogging.
There is also a product called Body Glide (or all one word, don’t remember) that can be applied to nipples, inner thighs, upper arms, even feet (blisters). It’s in a stick-deodorant type container and makes a kind of waxy coating so the fabric will slide over rather than rubbing you raw.
Body Glide works skin to skin, and skin to fabric….people on the 3 Day Walks live by this shit, but in all honesty – when I tried it, I got a fucking blister. I’ll take my 2 pairs of socks (or a jogbra, or bandaids on the nips) over that annoying stick of crap…
This only reinforces my laziness. I’d rather troll regretsy all night than run & get bloody nipples. Or have to use anti-nipple chafe gel. Or breastfeed.
I actually read the post, closed it, then came BACK to ask that. Yeah, I’m thinking there was some unforeseen(?) Spandex chafing. I wonder if wearing a padded bra would help?
Its typically only guys who have this happen due to their shirt rubbing for an extended period of time. You don’t need a padded sports bra, just a well fitting one to prevent it as a woman.
I learned about it on How I Met Your Mother, when Marshall started training for a marathon. There’s a hilarious scene of him vaselining up his massive man-nipples.
Did you ever see the Gatorade ad that was played in MOVIE THEATERS that included someone puking in lime green or purple or something? No? Then consider yourself lucky.
Maaaan, I can’t find it on YouTube or anywhere and everyone’s going to think I’m nuts now. But it had various athletes sweating, bleeding, and vomiting Gatorade in different colors, and was part of their campaign using the slogan “Is it in you?” (Answer: apparently not anymore.)
She is. If you look closely, and I know you want to, she is pulling her jogging panties (whatever you call them) over to the side and there is a wet spot on the ground under her.
That article is referring to a, um “number two” incident (the cracked article linked below talks about it too.) I imagine stopping for a pee isn’t too uncommon – I know dudes just whip it out and try to point sideways while they keep running.
You usually have to go pretty far before these things start to happen – like a marathon or longer. You rarely see this kind of thing in 5k, 10k or half-marathons.
Show me all the so-called photographic evidence to the contrary you want. I’ve seen it on a button and buttons do not lie. Mean people suck. My other boss is a blah blah blahrpenter.
Funny you mention that–I met a German couple in a bdsm club and they swore that Germans are really not interested in that at all. Nope,not at all. They were surprised we Americans even imagined that they did that.
Do I gross you out?
My nipples are bleeding on my shirt
And you say Where is your body glide?
I don’t want to piss on the roadside today
There I go shitting on my shorts again
and I can’t help it.
And WTF up with the Nazi filter?! Who the fuck does it think it is to call something “tasteless?” Does it redirect you to a YouTube video of dancing kittens or something.
Yes, oh the irony! The sheer unadulterated IRONY! I just thank my lucky stars I am able to get on Regresty, it completes me. Unfortunately, this site will probably be blocked soon due to my obsession.
As far as being redirected to a YouTube video of dancing kittens, no, it redirects me to flouncecats.com.
At my job, if you try to send an email through Outlook Express with any foul words in it you get a message that says your email is inappropriate and cannot be sent.
What if you need to have a breast exam in the city of Toppenish, Washington? (I’m not kidding. The computers in the school system in Toppenish wouldn’t let you go to the school website.)
I call bullshit on that button. There’s nothing sexy about running, as evidenced by those nipple-bleeding, public-pissing, not-drunk-vomiting, shot-with-a-shit-supersoaker photos.
The girl in the blue outfit second picture from the bottom, I think I have actually seen a video of her running. It was one of the things things that popped into my head when I saw “running in sexy”.
She was competing in the Iron Man Marathon and near the end her legs were completely giving out, kind of… not sexy to watch.
Does this mean I have to be running while taking the proverbial flying shit in order to be sexy? No, says I – I can piss in my own shoe without having to rearrange my labia, thank you!
I actually enjoyed running, prior to damaging my foot. However those who are so serious about it that they pee & shit themselves have never appealed to me. I’m more of a run & toilet kind of girl than a run & shit myself kind.
Amen. I have no problem stopping to take care of what matters. I’m pretty much not likely to win any races…maybe that’s why I don’t give a…no, I can’t go there.
Once you have poo all over you, how could you ever stop running? At least until you found a kind stranger with a hose. Yeah I’m looking at you Robin Quivers.
See! I knew my rule of only running when chased was a good one. These pictures just prove it. Since I never get chased, I never have to run. Brilliant.
“Ya Bud, remember that one marathon we ran together? Dan had to get nipple re-constructive surgery, Kelly showed her lady bits to everyone, I puked, EVERYONE pissed their pants, and you shit yourself? Ahhh, good times, good times! We should do it again sometime”
Hmmm, I ain’t felt sexy for a while now and I do feel a bout of fried food disaster comming on. I’m getting on my short shorts and going out to try this….
Talk about feeling sexy, it worked like a hot damn! A few sneering neighbourhood bitches and a pack of dogs later, I’m now back home considering my next poop and run….
The Regretsy Diet: calorie reduction from appetite loss and exercise from laughing your ass off. Just be sure to read it alone in case you wet your pants!
Well, the button does picture the shoes covered in what could be fecal matter, so it might be a very specifically targeted brown shower. In any case, I’ve always felt that runners have a weird pain thing going on and the pictures just confirm it…
Why don’t the men just run topless? I mean, not only do I get to objectify them as they run by, but this completely solves the bleeding nipple problem.
The not-funny technical answer: because wearing a running shirt made of wicking fabric actually keeps you cooler than running bare-chested (or in just a sports bra). Also you need something to pin your number to.
And I’m not hating – I’m a fatty-fat-fat myself who doesn’t run because my DDs would revolt and punch me in the brain-case. I’m just saying that I’ve seen joggers shirtless, and sometimes it’s just not a pretty sight.
Oh god, don’t even GET me started on inappropriate attire while running/working out. WTF are most people thinking? Do they not own mirrors? I’m a fatty fat currently who works out – and I cover that shit up so no one barfs at the gym. Just because you’re a size 6 doesn’t mean you should bop around the gym in just a jogbra, ya know? Ugh. Drives me fucking bonkers…
Okay, anyone know that Don Hertzfeldt toon, “Rejected”? You know the, “My anus is bleeding” segment? Now I have that little shrieky voice screaming in my head – “My nipples are bleeding. My nipples are bleeding…For the love of God, and all that is holy, MY NIPPLES ARE BLEEDING!!!”
If you don’t know it, here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M17aG_Po2Y
I’m so incredibly lucky that I get this reenacted to me every time my husband and his best friend get together. Oh, and also “But I poop from there.” “Not tonight you don’t.”
Yup. I’m one lucky gal. At least that’s what he keeps telling me. Sometimes I have my doubts…
Is the nipple guy a complete noob to running, or has he just never run in a shirt before? Maybe he forgot his pasties, couldn’t find any bandaids and the other runners were being big meanies and not sharing?
Picture No4 is Paula Radcliffe, a British world champion marathon runner and yes, she did stop to pee during the London Marathon a few years ago, in front of everyone lining the street and on live tv!
I’m kinda surprised she’s menstruating at all. Many marathoners don’t; you have to have a certain amount of body fat to menstruate. Otherwise, your hormones think you are int he midst of a famine and couldn’t support a baby to term, so you don’t ovulate.
If you take Alli you can have both and be covered in fatty shit. Fat or oily anal discharge….fat or oily anal discharge…. Make mine a pint of Cherry Garcia.
Apparently there’s a whole tradition of the lactating Jesus where the blood from his spear-induced wound is combined with the main ideas from the last supper and…reinterpreted to where people drink blood from his breast.
But apparently Jesus was just a runner and not lactating blood at all. The things you learn from Regretsy.
I was listening to my rock station one morning and last year’s winner of the Cincinnati Flying Pig marathon was in talking to them, and he said that he crossed the finish line, and promptly threw up on the shoes of the race organizer who came to congratulate him. Somehow… I think I prefer my sedentary lifestyle, than barfing on people trying to give me awards.
I love the expressions of the people in the background. My reaction to this picture was much more extreme (won’t be eating dinner for a while…) but I can appreciate the can’t-look-away nature of seeing that go by you in real life. You’ll notice the lady is smiling – maybe because she just made her husband change their baby’s diaper and she’s glad she didn’t have to deal with that shit.
Jesus… are his *nipples* bleeding? Why?! Woman with a bleeding leg, person vomiting, not so weird – wait. Is that a woman pausing to pop a squat mid-marathon?! And the last picture? OH GOD HE SHAT HIMSELF. The shame, the horror, the clean-up… at least this post gave me another reason to avoid exercise and sit on my fat ass.
You guys think marathons are bad? Think triathlons and long stage bike races… Guys just whip it out left and right- so careful what side of the road you’re spectating on! Gals unfortunately have a more complicated process, so it’s inevitably more “embarrassing,” time-consuming, and uncomfortable. “Comfort” stations are few and far between. In many triathlons, it’s just par for the course, so to speak, that folks will relieve themselves wherever. This is the main reason why I don’t do triathlons. That and the fact I can’t swim, bike, or run anywhere near the distances required.
Yeah, I’m just going to stay here on my fat ass and eat Sun Chips. If I shit myself, I’m the only one that will see it. Well, my toddler, but he shits himself too, so it will be like we have some kind of connection or something.
Funny- Me and Chuck just had a long conversation about runners the other day. I did not know about the bloody nipples- thanks for reminding me to google the images. I knew about the poop- makes running look so glamorous!
I read Born to Run a while back, and it mentions the shitting-yourself stuff, but what haunts me most is the mental image of a man popping a blood blister between a runner’s ass cheeks with his fingernails. THANKS FOR THAT ONE, CHRISTOPHER MCDOUGALL.
What I want to know is how the guy BEHIND the guy who shit himself reacted. I know they’re not going as fast as, say, a car, but it happened so explosively he couldn’t stop it, so you have to think there was some back splash.
You know, just the other day I was on Hulu getting my free week of Plus membership. I spent it watching Project Runway and two seasons of Biggest Loser. (Cool story, bro.)
Anyway – at the end of season 11, there is a marathon run and Bob the Trainer Guru is running with the chick who is trying to beat the time another female Biggest Loser set in the marathon. She had to go to the bathroom. She took six minutes and all Bob could say when she got out was, “You know, real marathon runners go in their pants.”
I thought it had a sort of hostile tone for a really gross joke.
Now I know it wasn’t a joke.
And now I wonder how many times Bob has gone in his pants.
Not sure if that lady was stopping to poop, pee, or puke… but that dude covered in his own feces really takes the cake. That is clearly a web-gem that deserves tons of etsy merchandise made in his likeness. I’m thinking buttons, t-shirts, maybe even a crocheted blanket, but since I can’t make any of those- as I’m only predisposed to hate crafters and their craftiness- I’m going to go masturbate.
You’re going to masturbate to the image of a man in short-shorts with warm liquid faeces sliding down his leg and oozing into his soon-to-be-replaced shoe as a horrified public looks on?
I hate to be the non-snarky one, but if you run normal, non-race distances, none of this stuff should happen to you. My crazy boyfriend just takes off in a dead run at random times during the day, and he’s still sexy when he gets back. Slightly sweaty, but that’s fine, too.
OK, I’m working backwards from mid-June and I’ve now seen that shitting guy seven times. Don’t make me flounce out of here, you fat bitches! Also, Jews! And um, dykes! No wait, something about overweight gay Jews! Hang on, give me a sec, I’ll get it…
May 17, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Sexy as shit!
May 17, 2011 at 7:43 pm
First of all, what is the crouching tiger, pooping woman doing? Poop? Tampon?
Second of all, I don’t care if there is a million dollars at stake if I think I may shit myself I’m stopping to poop
May 21, 2011 at 4:36 am
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Media-Gallery/20080641239319
Crouching tiger, hidden portaloo
May 17, 2011 at 1:41 pm
barf
May 17, 2011 at 1:41 pm
What has seen CANNOT BE UNSEEN. AAAGH! Bleeding nipples…. *shudder*
May 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Tape my nips, my bloody nips/My mom tapes my bloody nips
http://video.adultswim.com/tim-and-eric-awesome-show-great-job/bloody-nips.html
May 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm
i wish i had basic photoshop skills so i could cover his nips with two running is sexy buttons
May 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I made an account just to make this for you.
May 17, 2011 at 8:22 pm
oh god yes. puttin’ this one in the spank bank…
May 17, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Why, oh why are his nipples bleeding??? Ew (and ow)!
May 17, 2011 at 7:55 pm
From his shirt rubbing on them. It happens a LOT more often than this seller knows, apparently…
May 18, 2011 at 2:47 am
Hey! You’re one of those damned Etsy resellers, aren’t you?!?
May 17, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Oh, god! Can one laugh and vomit at the same time?
May 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm
no. I think that’s how Jimi Hendrix died.
May 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I like how the last guy has a look on his face like, “Who farted??”
May 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Or a look like, “Oh God, oh God, I just shit myself in front of thousands of people and now I have to run in it.” Or a look like, “Oh God, I’m picturing what I look like right now. I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything for at least 3 days.”
May 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm
How the hell do you manage to shit on yourself while running? THe throwing-up thing, I’ve at least heard of before. But the bleeding nipples? The shitting? Are these common occurrences? Are these people masochists?
The questions have overwhelmed my brain. I need a nap and a brownie now.
May 17, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Running kinda jiggles your intestines, so you lose some control (…or all control) over your bowel movements and can’t just hold it in. Bleeding nipples isn’t uncommon among men who run because they don’t wear sports bras so their nips rub against their shirt, which can cause bleeding.
In other words it’s pretty damn sexy!
May 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm
here’s a little personal tidbit: I’m a runner, and after mile 4 I have to take a crap. Every time. I’m convinced it’s because of the intestinal jiggling. (I’ve always been able to hold it in; good motivation for those last few miles!)
On a related note, am I the only one who wants to know how the shit got on the front of his shorts?? Did he start shitting through his penis?
May 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I hate to seem like an optimist… but I think that’s vomit, not shit. That’s why it’s on the front of his shorts and legs.
God. I hate that I even spent 3 seconds of my life going, “I wonder if that’s shit, or barf?”
May 17, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I’m amazed that, through all these comments, no one has mentioned the George Carlin stand-up or the CKY video! It’s fowl, so I won’t post it, but just go to youtube and do a search for “CKY running poop”. It IS possible to crap while running, and the running motion will actually make it come up to the front of your legs. That is most likely not vomit.
I’m so glad I broke my years of lurkdom to inform y’all.
May 17, 2011 at 7:01 pm
Well…you learn something new about shitting yourself everyday.
May 17, 2011 at 7:57 pm
On more than one occasion have I come outside in the morning to throw the trash in the dumpster before the garbagemen show up and “walk in” on a jogger SHITTING BEHIND MY DUMPSTER!! That is NOT okay!
May 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm
It’s kinda like with dogs – you take a dog for a walk or they run around, and inevitably they have to shit…..at least they’re smart enough to stop and take a dump….marathoners are fucking insane….
May 17, 2011 at 8:42 pm
My brain refuses to believe that’s shit, even though it knows better. Surely some mean spirited spectator lobbed a balloon full of muddy water at him when he passed by. Surely. Right???
May 18, 2011 at 11:57 am
kristinaaahhhh…the new and improved Charlie Sheen poster!
May 26, 2011 at 6:42 pm
my family and i worked on the iron man triathalon at panama city beach for many years. i was always at the finish line with water to make sure runners kept walking around and didn’t just stop. Most of them (men AND women) came through with bleeding nipples. Throwing up happens. People could also have nasty wounds on knees and elbows from falling over. They wouldn’t stop for treatment. Never seen someone covered in poo, thankfully!
July 5, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Writing as One Who Knows, that looks like a catastrophic ileostomy bag failure. Copious sweat and vigorous motion can make them simply fall off. It’s probably hard for nineteen
year-old athlete, but sometimes one must accept one’s limitations. He has my respect for even trying.
May 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm
Don’t know aboaut him but I certainly do ot feel like snacking. The pepole in the crowd do not look too thrilled either.
May 17, 2011 at 11:13 pm
Yes, I was thinking that, too… a nap and ANY kind of comfort food that is NOT brown!
Like for instance alcohol… preferably in large quantities. But not so large that… ah blergh, the whole thing is just disgusinting.
May 17, 2011 at 7:29 pm
From the Internet
“Photo taken during ‘Goteborgsvarvet’ in Sweden 2006. The running man was 19 years old and he reached the finishing line as number 21st”
May 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Yeah, see, 21st isn’t a good enough placing (for me anyway) to justify shitting all over myself.
May 20, 2011 at 7:21 am
more like “who sharted?”
May 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I’ll just sit here on my ass, thanks.
May 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Could you pass the chips?
May 17, 2011 at 1:58 pm
& that whole cake right there? I’m kinda hungry…
May 17, 2011 at 4:28 pm
The fudge one? I think I’ll pass.
May 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm
At least that way I can get to a bathroom.
May 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm
How does running make ones nipples bleed uncontrollably??? I’m seriously disturbed and perplexed by that photo.
May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Friction
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
…and Fiberglas sportswear.
May 17, 2011 at 1:47 pm
And salt produced by your own body begging you to stop.
May 17, 2011 at 1:51 pm
…and pinching them constantly.
May 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm
and breastfeeding
May 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm
I would love to see someone breastfeeding while running a marathon.
May 17, 2011 at 8:38 pm
someone totally needs to photoshop a runner breastfeeding
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Yes, and it’s really quite painful. Usually it’s newbs that learn that lesson the hard way. They make Body Glide for a reason.
May 17, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Yeah. I’ve been using Body Glide on my nipples for years. Now, what’s this about running?
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Apparently, nipple skin won’t callous, so it just ends up bleeding from all the friction. They even sell little nipple shields you can stick on there to avoid the rivers of blood streaming from your nipples. I like to call them “Jogger Pasties.”
May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Another useful Regretsy-inspired product…Jogger Pasties.
May 17, 2011 at 3:00 pm
On barnwood!
May 17, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Seriously, how do you know about shit like that?
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
I learned it from Cracked and Googling while bored at work.
May 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm
I learned it from the Office
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xzwf8O4ZCKk
May 17, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I learned it from Cracked, too, PensEnvy! I’m not a psychotic runner. I promise! But maybe I would start running if I got to wear sequined, tasseled Jogger Pasties. I like to feel glamorous while jogging.
May 17, 2011 at 4:55 pm
How about red tassels so it looks like blood is spurting out of your nipples? I may have made myself a bit sick.
May 17, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I learned it from my best friend’s father after he ran his first marathon. Nothing says “Eye of the Tiger” like a 54 year-old man lactating blood.
May 18, 2011 at 1:48 am
A few years ago I made the mistake of going out shopping without a bra – just a loose shirt that had a rougher texture than I’d initially realized.
By the end of the day The Girls were chapped to hell (although not bleeding, thank god).
So I knew exactly what was up with that first photo – although I’d hoped it was Photoshopped/exaggerated.
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
But wouldn’t running be even SEXIER if they wore REAL pasties?
May 17, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Twirling as you ran? Maybe glow-in-the-dark ones for midnight runs?
May 17, 2011 at 2:29 pm
As long as they’re for both sexes, I firmly endorse this idea.
May 17, 2011 at 4:33 pm
I agree, both sexes should wear pasties, but gender-appropriate pasties.
Oh, wait, maybe not. If the runner in the last photo had worn one…no, I don’t want to think about anything hitting the fan.
May 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm
There is also a product called Body Glide (or all one word, don’t remember) that can be applied to nipples, inner thighs, upper arms, even feet (blisters). It’s in a stick-deodorant type container and makes a kind of waxy coating so the fabric will slide over rather than rubbing you raw.
May 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Hmmmmm, this might be something to look into for thighs rubbing together. Does there have to be fabric involved?
May 17, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Do the thighs have to belong to the same person?
May 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm
There’s also a lube called BodyGlide. If the product is cherry flavoured, it might not be the one you want
May 17, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I
needwant bathroom tissue impregnated with this substance.May 17, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Body Glide works skin to skin, and skin to fabric….people on the 3 Day Walks live by this shit, but in all honesty – when I tried it, I got a fucking blister. I’ll take my 2 pairs of socks (or a jogbra, or bandaids on the nips) over that annoying stick of crap…
May 18, 2011 at 12:26 am
This only reinforces my laziness. I’d rather troll regretsy all night than run & get bloody nipples. Or have to use anti-nipple chafe gel. Or breastfeed.
May 17, 2011 at 2:17 pm
I believe someone has just found the newest item to sell on etsy
May 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I guess I should have read all the way down before asking wabout bleeding nipples. Gee, you really do learn something new every day!
May 17, 2011 at 9:16 pm
“jogger Pasties” made me choke on my slurpee
May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
I actually read the post, closed it, then came BACK to ask that. Yeah, I’m thinking there was some unforeseen(?) Spandex chafing. I wonder if wearing a padded bra would help?
May 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Its typically only guys who have this happen due to their shirt rubbing for an extended period of time. You don’t need a padded sports bra, just a well fitting one to prevent it as a woman.
May 18, 2011 at 7:47 am
I was kinda joking, and suggesting a bra for that guy in particular.
May 17, 2011 at 2:03 pm
I learned about it on How I Met Your Mother, when Marshall started training for a marathon. There’s a hilarious scene of him vaselining up his massive man-nipples.
May 17, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Mipples?
May 17, 2011 at 10:19 pm
Maples.
May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Thank you. I knew there was a reason why I didn’t need to eat dinner tonight. *shudder*
May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm
The pin for the last guy would read: the runs are sexy
May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Nike’s new ad: “Just Spew It!”
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Did you ever see the Gatorade ad that was played in MOVIE THEATERS that included someone puking in lime green or purple or something? No? Then consider yourself lucky.
May 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Exactly what we all want to see for 10 bucks a head: fluorescent vomit 30 feet tall.
And they wonder why people don’t like going to the movies.
May 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Somehow I don’t really think that would help their sales.
May 18, 2011 at 8:02 am
Maaaan, I can’t find it on YouTube or anywhere and everyone’s going to think I’m nuts now. But it had various athletes sweating, bleeding, and vomiting Gatorade in different colors, and was part of their campaign using the slogan “Is it in you?” (Answer: apparently not anymore.)
November 4, 2011 at 11:36 pm
You’re not nuts, I remember it too.
May 17, 2011 at 1:44 pm
is that chick pissing on the side of the road with people just right next to her!!?>?!1
May 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm
IT’S SEXY
May 17, 2011 at 1:57 pm
She is. If you look closely, and I know you want to, she is pulling her jogging panties (whatever you call them) over to the side and there is a wet spot on the ground under her.
May 17, 2011 at 2:19 pm
Yes. And would you believe that she then went on to set a world record? Pop-A-Squat Paula, you’re my peero!
Er, hero.
May 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm
That article is referring to a, um “number two” incident (the cracked article linked below talks about it too.) I imagine stopping for a pee isn’t too uncommon – I know dudes just whip it out and try to point sideways while they keep running.
May 17, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Hopefully they are not running in a pack when doing that.
May 17, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Yeah, I guess watching a marathon is kind of like going to a Black Eyed Peas show.
May 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Shouldn’t that be the Black-Eyed Pees?
May 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Aw, she went Boom Boom Pow in her pants.
May 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I really hope that is actually crotch sweat…
May 17, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I kinda hope it’s not… That’s a swampy bajingo right there.
May 17, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Nope, its not. She was called on it & she said that she just couldn’t hold it or some such garbage.
May 17, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Nah, she peed. http://www.spinner.com/2009/11/10/fergie-pees-her-pants-on-stage/
May 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Somehow she seems as nonchalant as if she’s emptying out a water bottle.
May 18, 2011 at 10:59 am
Looks like a muscle cramp.
I feel her pain.
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Wow. I’m happy to say that I’ve never seen my runner friends or family ever do any of those things.
May 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm
I do a 10K every July and have thankfully never seen any of this in person.
They have porta-potties one and a half miles in. If you have to pee after that you’re doing something wrong.
May 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm
You usually have to go pretty far before these things start to happen – like a marathon or longer. You rarely see this kind of thing in 5k, 10k or half-marathons.
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Show me all the so-called photographic evidence to the contrary you want. I’ve seen it on a button and buttons do not lie. Mean people suck. My other boss is a blah blah blahrpenter.
May 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm
And Darwin was a fish with legs, and I WILL practice random acts of kindness and oh forget it I’m way too lazy.
May 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I really want a “my boss is a blah blah blahrpenter” bumper sticker.
May 17, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Have at it. It’s the new spiritual call of our generation. I am a woman of the cloth, after all.
May 17, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Repurposed, vintage, organic cloth I assume?
May 17, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Moonpads?
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
If they knew this was going to happen, why didn’t they get out the Depends and the lactation pads out – THERE ARE PRODUCTS AVAILABLE, PEOPLE.
May 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm
I think the first half of your first sentence is the important part there.
May 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Maybe even a small amount of extra weight may slow them down? I might be wrong to assume runners are the people equivalents of race cars.
May 17, 2011 at 8:49 pm
I wouldn’t want to see the bloody chaffing caused by a full pair of Depends after 26 miles. Ew.
May 18, 2011 at 7:10 pm
I would rather NOT see the chaffing – better all tucked in on the inside where it belongs.
May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Well, you know, I’m told there are lots of people who like that. . . in Germany. O.o
May 17, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Funny you mention that–I met a German couple in a bdsm club and they swore that Germans are really not interested in that at all. Nope,not at all. They were surprised we Americans even imagined that they did that.
Smiles ruefully and shakes head in amusement
May 17, 2011 at 3:52 pm
I really want to make some kind of munch/munchhausen comment, but dagnabbit, can’t come up with anything.
May 17, 2011 at 5:51 pm
In this case, Queen, just the thought is enough. (giggle)
May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
What’s with that woman who’s squatting? Is she collapsing? Is she peeing? Cause that’s what comes to mind.
May 17, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Maybe she’s just fixing a wedgie.
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
she is pulling her shorts to the side and her twat is hanging out…I believe she is having a healthy “wee”.
May 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I hope she doesn’t get any pee on her shoes – that would be embarrassing!
May 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm
I’m now waiting for all the anti-hovering-no-exceptions fundamentalists to pitch a hissy…
May 17, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Oh, let it go…
May 17, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Yeah, you’re right. She really is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6I2-YP42rs
May 17, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I remember watching this live in the London Marathon coverage that year along with millions of others. She apologised to the nation afterwards.
May 17, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Whoever took the pictures could do some aplogivng too. In the entire race there was nothing better to see?
March 19, 2012 at 11:11 pm
The thing I find amusing is the fact that she chose to do it right in front of the water bottle table.
May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Well, I’ll be damned!
Running is sexy!
May 17, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Sexy as a shart on the roadside. Sexy as your barf on my shoes.
May 17, 2011 at 2:48 pm
hey, isn’t that an Alanis Morrisette lyric?
May 17, 2011 at 5:03 pm
You are on fire- figuratively speaking.
May 17, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Do I gross you out?
My nipples are bleeding on my shirt
And you say Where is your body glide?
I don’t want to piss on the roadside today
There I go shitting on my shorts again
and I can’t help it.
May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm
what?
May 17, 2011 at 6:24 pm
In the butt.
If you somehow managed to miss the Samwell video, I recommend you Google it. You’ll be singing it all day!
May 17, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Twat is what.
May 17, 2011 at 11:29 pm
And “grease” is the word.
November 4, 2011 at 11:43 pm
And bird is also the word.
May 18, 2011 at 3:23 am
Chicken butt?
May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Thank God I am a fat, lazy, jealous, loser and I don’t have to put myself through that to achieve such a level of sexiness!
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Hear, hear!
May 17, 2011 at 1:47 pm
That nipple guy needs a running bro.
May 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Bandaids! Who would run eithour bandaids?
May 17, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Without. Damn you, auto correct!
May 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm
IT’S CALLED A MANZIER
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
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May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Well, I WAS going to go grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner, but now I don’t think that’ll be necessary. Ick.
May 17, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Don’t feel like running to the store?
May 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I see what you did there.
But, no, it involved hopping into my POSBMW and driving. ;p
May 17, 2011 at 6:07 pm
That’s okay, my daughter just handed me a bowl of chocolate pudding. Umm… thanks hon… carefully moves it to the far side of the desk…
May 17, 2011 at 6:13 pm
That problem’s solved… my son just came into the living room complaining we have nothing chocolate. Here… have some pudding!
I can’t say this has done much for the exercise portion of my getting healthy plan but it’s done wonders for the diet part.
May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Depending on your level of sexual depravity this could be right up their alley!!
May 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Ooo, hadn’t thought of the fetish angle. Excellent point!
May 17, 2011 at 10:45 pm
I try to use my brain some of the time *polishes nails on shirt*
May 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Maybe running IS sexy. That cop sure looks turned on. “Mmm.. Baby, what did you eat? I got a little twinkie for ya.”
May 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm
My first thought was this Cracked article: The 5 Most Terrifying Side Effects of Exercise
Clearly my fatassery is better for me in the long run!
(first post, woot woot)
May 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Damnit! I’m at work and the Cracked website is filtered! When I try to view it, the content warning is ‘filtered as Tasteless’. *facepalm*
May 17, 2011 at 1:55 pm
And yet you can access Regretsy? *laughs*
May 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm
*snort*
And WTF up with the Nazi filter?! Who the fuck does it think it is to call something “tasteless?” Does it redirect you to a YouTube video of dancing kittens or something.
Fucking computers.
May 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm
I resent that, Sir or Madam. We represent the most tasteful and cultured group of whimsicle fuckers you will ever meet.
May 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Yes, oh the irony! The sheer unadulterated IRONY! I just thank my lucky stars I am able to get on Regresty, it completes me. Unfortunately, this site will probably be blocked soon due to my obsession.
As far as being redirected to a YouTube video of dancing kittens, no, it redirects me to flouncecats.com.
May 17, 2011 at 5:16 pm
At my job, if you try to send an email through Outlook Express with any foul words in it you get a message that says your email is inappropriate and cannot be sent.
May 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm
What if you need to have a breast exam in the city of Toppenish, Washington? (I’m not kidding. The computers in the school system in Toppenish wouldn’t let you go to the school website.)
November 6, 2011 at 5:19 am
Oh no, Cracked. I’m too much of a sucker for countdown lists.
May 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Bleeding nips? Check.
Vomit? Check.
Pee? Check.
Poop? Check.
Man, I’m horny now.
May 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm
You missed the period blood all over Uta Pippig’s legs
May 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm
You know, up until you said that, I was comfortable with the illusion that she’d gored her leg somehow. Damn you, reality! *shakes fist*
May 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I was hoping it was because her shorts rubbed her legs raw
May 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Oh. So she didn’t fall down… O_o
May 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Judging by her physique, she hasn’t had a period for years – woman’s got no body fat! Yep – it’s just bloody, runny poop.
May 17, 2011 at 6:58 pm
According to the Boston Globe it is period blood and diarrhea. http://www.boston.com/zope_homepage/sports/marathon_archive/history/1996.htm
May 17, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Apparently that is ass blood….0_0
She had severe colitis.
May 21, 2011 at 4:37 am
that’s what I thought too! looks like its smeared in her crotch then runs down the back of her leg and around to her shin.
May 17, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm
The girl in the blue outfit second picture from the bottom, I think I have actually seen a video of her running. It was one of the things things that popped into my head when I saw “running in sexy”.
She was competing in the Iron Man Marathon and near the end her legs were completely giving out, kind of… not sexy to watch.
May 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Maybe the guy with the bleeding nipples had mistakenly attached those buttons to each one as a fashion statement before starting the race.
May 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Nipple Piercing: You’re Doing It Wrong.
May 17, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Does this mean I have to be running while taking the proverbial flying shit in order to be sexy? No, says I – I can piss in my own shoe without having to rearrange my labia, thank you!
May 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Well, I *was* getting ready to go to the gym. Someone pass the Pringles.
May 17, 2011 at 1:55 pm
He is SO SURPRISED that he shit his pants!
May 17, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I actually enjoyed running, prior to damaging my foot. However those who are so serious about it that they pee & shit themselves have never appealed to me. I’m more of a run & toilet kind of girl than a run & shit myself kind.
May 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Amen. I have no problem stopping to take care of what matters. I’m pretty much not likely to win any races…maybe that’s why I don’t give a…no, I can’t go there.
May 17, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Why why why do you keep running with poo all over? I would shamefully hide in a bush
May 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm
All runners should carry a full change of clothes with them. Two, if they’re in one of those really long marathons.
May 17, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Or at least carry some toilet paper with them.
May 17, 2011 at 2:02 pm
runners have pride man, they are sexy and PROUD.
May 17, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Once you have poo all over you, how could you ever stop running? At least until you found a kind stranger with a hose. Yeah I’m looking at you Robin Quivers.
May 17, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I hope I am never so obsessed about something that I literally shit myself over it! That’s just I don’t even…
D:
May 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I would imagine the people in front of him have drastically increased their pace.
May 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Those poor people behind him…
May 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm
shitting yourself while running a marathon is actually in the Jim Fixx* “Running” book. Don’t make me go look up the page number.
*Jim Fixx is the guy who dropped dead of a heart attack while…. running.
May 17, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Dennis Leary taught me that. (about the heart attack)
May 17, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Heck, if it’s this common, I don’t know why they don’t have a car with a fire hose to spray the poop off.
May 17, 2011 at 1:58 pm
See! I knew my rule of only running when chased was a good one. These pictures just prove it. Since I never get chased, I never have to run. Brilliant.
May 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm
fuck it, I don’t even run when chased. I’ll stand down the fucker first….
May 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm
This gives me the impression that a marathon course would smell like the elephant house at the zoo.
May 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Runners reunion-
“Ya Bud, remember that one marathon we ran together? Dan had to get nipple re-constructive surgery, Kelly showed her lady bits to everyone, I puked, EVERYONE pissed their pants, and you shit yourself? Ahhh, good times, good times! We should do it again sometime”
May 17, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Hmmm, I ain’t felt sexy for a while now and I do feel a bout of fried food disaster comming on. I’m getting on my short shorts and going out to try this….
May 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Talk about feeling sexy, it worked like a hot damn! A few sneering neighbourhood bitches and a pack of dogs later, I’m now back home considering my next poop and run….
May 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm
My nipples hurt in sympathy.
May 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Why would you keep running once you shit yourself? I mean, really, is there no shame left? No one wants to hand a ribbon to someone covered in shit.
May 17, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Why not, Etsy hand out kudos to THINGS coverd in shit.
May 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I was hungry, then I saw this. Now I don’t have to get up and cook! THANKS, REGRETSY!
May 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm
@Regretsy made me lose my appetite.
May 17, 2011 at 3:34 pm
The Regretsy Diet: calorie reduction from appetite loss and exercise from laughing your ass off. Just be sure to read it alone in case you wet your pants!
May 17, 2011 at 5:20 pm
In which case
READING REGRETSY IS SEXY!
May 17, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Pretty soon you’ll be thin enough to fit into some Vulvaroos
May 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Good, now I don’t have to figure out what to make for dinner. Xp
May 17, 2011 at 2:13 pm
May I suggest blood sausage and gravy.
May 17, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Well, the button does picture the shoes covered in what could be fecal matter, so it might be a very specifically targeted brown shower. In any case, I’ve always felt that runners have a weird pain thing going on and the pictures just confirm it…
May 17, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Why don’t the men just run topless? I mean, not only do I get to objectify them as they run by, but this completely solves the bleeding nipple problem.
May 17, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Not really, because then you’d have to pin the number to their nipples and you’re right back where you started.
May 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm
The not-funny technical answer: because wearing a running shirt made of wicking fabric actually keeps you cooler than running bare-chested (or in just a sports bra). Also you need something to pin your number to.
May 17, 2011 at 8:10 pm
And think about the sunburn….
May 17, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Plus, in the beginning phases, the jiggly moobs.
And I’m not hating – I’m a fatty-fat-fat myself who doesn’t run because my DDs would revolt and punch me in the brain-case. I’m just saying that I’ve seen joggers shirtless, and sometimes it’s just not a pretty sight.
May 18, 2011 at 9:24 am
Oh god, don’t even GET me started on inappropriate attire while running/working out. WTF are most people thinking? Do they not own mirrors? I’m a fatty fat currently who works out – and I cover that shit up so no one barfs at the gym. Just because you’re a size 6 doesn’t mean you should bop around the gym in just a jogbra, ya know? Ugh. Drives me fucking bonkers…
May 17, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Photo #5 by itself woulda done it just fine.
May 17, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Okay, anyone know that Don Hertzfeldt toon, “Rejected”? You know the, “My anus is bleeding” segment? Now I have that little shrieky voice screaming in my head – “My nipples are bleeding. My nipples are bleeding…For the love of God, and all that is holy, MY NIPPLES ARE BLEEDING!!!”
If you don’t know it, here ya go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M17aG_Po2Y
May 17, 2011 at 2:57 pm
I wasted an unbelievable amount of hours in college watching that. Which is pretty impressive, considering it is a short film.
My spoon is too big!
May 17, 2011 at 4:49 pm
I am a BANANA!
May 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Everybody dance!
May 17, 2011 at 8:07 pm
I’m so incredibly lucky that I get this reenacted to me every time my husband and his best friend get together. Oh, and also “But I poop from there.” “Not tonight you don’t.”
Yup. I’m one lucky gal. At least that’s what he keeps telling me. Sometimes I have my doubts…
May 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm
You think running is sexy? Try skateboarding.
(Insert picture of compound elbow fracture here. I was going to do it, but I think we have endured enough vomit-inducing imagery for one day.)
May 17, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Thank you. Seeing broken bones in anyway but an x-ray leaves me traumatized. Even thinking about it… *goes to find a happy place*
May 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm
I have a sudden hankering for Dinty Moore Beef Stew…
May 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Oh I hate you.
May 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I was thinking a nice, big bowl of chili.
May 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Is the nipple guy a complete noob to running, or has he just never run in a shirt before? Maybe he forgot his pasties, couldn’t find any bandaids and the other runners were being big meanies and not sharing?
May 17, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Am I the ONLY one who saw that button and thought rape?
I mean seriously: “I like it when they run away. -breathes heavily-”
May 17, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Well, that’s what I’m thinking now…
May 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm
I’LL STICK WITH “KINDA FAT,” THANKS.
May 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Picture No4 is Paula Radcliffe, a British world champion marathon runner and yes, she did stop to pee during the London Marathon a few years ago, in front of everyone lining the street and on live tv!
May 17, 2011 at 2:42 pm
She could use one of the female urination devices from the pussy panties post.
May 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm
That was the fastest pee, too.
May 17, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Over a hundred comments and nobody’s yet pointed out that #2 really looks as if she could use a tampon?
Then again, maybe that’s why she’s so damn happy to be crossing the finish line.
May 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Uta Pippig name will forever be emblazoned in my mind for that.
May 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm
So running marathons makes one menstruate from their knees now?
May 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm
took the words right outta my mouth!
May 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm
So *that’s* where my period went!
May 17, 2011 at 3:20 pm
if you look further up there is um..smear on her thighs, and a trail down her thigh and around her knee
May 17, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I’ll have to trust you on that one.
May 17, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Someone mentioned further up the thread that it was actually anal bleeding. Still gross, but there you go.
May 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm
she could have a tampon in there and it just filled up and started leaking. And no, that never happened to me…
May 17, 2011 at 3:41 pm
I’m kinda surprised she’s menstruating at all. Many marathoners don’t; you have to have a certain amount of body fat to menstruate. Otherwise, your hormones think you are int he midst of a famine and couldn’t support a baby to term, so you don’t ovulate.
May 17, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Fat or covered in shit….fat or covered in shit…fat or covered in shit.
Please pass da cookies.
May 17, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I sold my treadmill last night and now I think it was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Cookies and beer (and not that light shit) time?
May 17, 2011 at 5:06 pm
If you take Alli you can have both and be covered in fatty shit. Fat or oily anal discharge….fat or oily anal discharge…. Make mine a pint of Cherry Garcia.
May 17, 2011 at 2:48 pm
So, does she also have one that says “childbirth is sexy” ?
May 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm
No but she does have on that says “free hugs” which would look AWESOME on that last guy.
May 17, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Here ya go:
May 17, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I love you, Rushgirl.
May 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm
I’m totally making this my desktop background.
May 17, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I did another version while you were doing this, I’ll post it further down…this one got my thumbs up!
May 17, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Why do i suddenly have the song “nowhere to run to” going through my head?
May 17, 2011 at 8:45 pm
May 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Everyone knows you just have to do the Andy Bernard from The Office trick to not get bleeding nipples
May 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm
I just thanked my husband for being so lazy, after trying to describe this post to him.
Him: o.O ‘Nipple bleed’?
Me: “Yeah, and then the next one is like…”
Him: THAT’S ENOUGH I DON’T WANT TO KNOW KTHX
May 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm
I my nipples even started to itch, let alone bleed, I losing the shirt all together.
May 17, 2011 at 3:08 pm
I had another tab open, the only thing my husband could see was “Running is Sexy” – since I’ve been (attempting to) run lately, he was curious.
I’m pretty sure he’s sorry he asked now.
May 17, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Lol, mine said “Running IS sexy!” (he runs, though thankfully not like these people. Not competitively, just in the regular jogger way.)
May 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm
(I proved him wrong when I clicked over, I think.)
May 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Perhaps running is so sexy that the first guys nipples exploded……
May 17, 2011 at 3:19 pm
My nipples explode with delight!
May 18, 2011 at 10:41 am
Drop your panties, Sir William – I cannot wait until lunchtime!
May 17, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Now there’s sexy for ya! Exploding nipples! WooHoo!
May 17, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Sexing is runny. Obviously.
May 17, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Apparently there’s a whole tradition of the lactating Jesus where the blood from his spear-induced wound is combined with the main ideas from the last supper and…reinterpreted to where people drink blood from his breast.
But apparently Jesus was just a runner and not lactating blood at all. The things you learn from Regretsy.
May 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Run and you’ll only die tired.
May 17, 2011 at 11:51 pm
We all die; why do I want to hurry up and get there?
May 17, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I was listening to my rock station one morning and last year’s winner of the Cincinnati Flying Pig marathon was in talking to them, and he said that he crossed the finish line, and promptly threw up on the shoes of the race organizer who came to congratulate him. Somehow… I think I prefer my sedentary lifestyle, than barfing on people trying to give me awards.
May 17, 2011 at 3:40 pm
I at least hope that last guy was running in an Iron Man and not a 5K
May 17, 2011 at 3:41 pm
I do feel bad for this dude…..
May 17, 2011 at 3:54 pm
The worst part is that everyone knows what he had for dinner last night.
“dude, sloppy joes was a bad choice”
May 17, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I love the expressions of the people in the background. My reaction to this picture was much more extreme (won’t be eating dinner for a while…) but I can appreciate the can’t-look-away nature of seeing that go by you in real life. You’ll notice the lady is smiling – maybe because she just made her husband change their baby’s diaper and she’s glad she didn’t have to deal with that shit.
May 17, 2011 at 6:31 pm
His own fault – he didn’t bother to shop Etsy for one of its lovely butt plugs.
May 17, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Running makes me angry.
May 17, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I realize this misses the mark a bit, but this image is the first thing I thought of when I read the title to this post:
And then I giggled.
Until I saw the guy covered in his own shit.
May 17, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Ms. Killer and Mr. Drywall, in the future, please note that images of diarrhea need to be labeled NSFW. Thank you.
May 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm
“NSFEHS” also works.
May 17, 2011 at 4:33 pm
But blood, vomit, and pee are ok?
May 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Yes.
May 17, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Just checking.
May 17, 2011 at 4:35 pm
yeah… not so much.
May 17, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Thought process upon viewing these pictures:
Jesus… are his *nipples* bleeding? Why?! Woman with a bleeding leg, person vomiting, not so weird – wait. Is that a woman pausing to pop a squat mid-marathon?! And the last picture? OH GOD HE SHAT HIMSELF. The shame, the horror, the clean-up… at least this post gave me another reason to avoid exercise and sit on my fat ass.
May 17, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Yeah, it’s not a problem with the gals, who can wear sports bras, but to the dudes, you GOTTA TAPE THE NIPS.
May 17, 2011 at 5:26 pm
peeps are down thumbing us? why? no reason? I don’t likey the running ey… hey? me no likey.
May 17, 2011 at 5:28 pm
That last picture is the most disgusting thing I have seen in a long time. I’m now regretting the beef stew I ate for dinner.
May 17, 2011 at 5:37 pm
You guys think marathons are bad? Think triathlons and long stage bike races… Guys just whip it out left and right- so careful what side of the road you’re spectating on! Gals unfortunately have a more complicated process, so it’s inevitably more “embarrassing,” time-consuming, and uncomfortable. “Comfort” stations are few and far between. In many triathlons, it’s just par for the course, so to speak, that folks will relieve themselves wherever. This is the main reason why I don’t do triathlons. That and the fact I can’t swim, bike, or run anywhere near the distances required.
May 17, 2011 at 10:25 pm
At least if you piss during the swimming portion no one will know except the guy behind you who might note a change in water temperature.
May 17, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Yeah, I’m just going to stay here on my fat ass and eat Sun Chips. If I shit myself, I’m the only one that will see it. Well, my toddler, but he shits himself too, so it will be like we have some kind of connection or something.
May 17, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Hey… Sun Chips are healthy! The more you eat, the more weight you will lose!
*******”The More You Know!!! *******
May 17, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Gross! Are those pictures real?
Running may be healthy but makes people look sooo old!
May 17, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Yeah, they’re real. Runner’s nipple is a real condition, people lose control of their exit ports and, along with it, their dignity.
May 17, 2011 at 9:19 pm
I doubt most of the medical establishment considers this level of exercise healthy. Everything in moderation.
May 17, 2011 at 6:25 pm
This is from the BBC article about the lady in blue, taking a pee (or poo?):
“Radcliffe’s next major target will be the World Athletics Championships in Helsinki in August.” :O
May 17, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I don’t care if you cross the finish line before the other runners. If you’re covered in your own faeces, you haven’t won.
May 17, 2011 at 11:18 pm
This is what I’ve been trying to say between going D: and x:
May 17, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Funny- Me and Chuck just had a long conversation about runners the other day. I did not know about the bloody nipples- thanks for reminding me to google the images. I knew about the poop- makes running look so glamorous!
May 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm
As soon as I saw this I thought of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1UvxxYIv3U&feature=related
Got to admire their pluck…but, it’s so not sexy
May 17, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I read Born to Run a while back, and it mentions the shitting-yourself stuff, but what haunts me most is the mental image of a man popping a blood blister between a runner’s ass cheeks with his fingernails. THANKS FOR THAT ONE, CHRISTOPHER MCDOUGALL.
May 17, 2011 at 7:58 pm
By your reasoning, you could make up buttons that say “Drinking is Sexy”. Or “Babies are Sexy”. (On second thought, better not make that last one.)
May 17, 2011 at 8:18 pm
What I want to know is how the guy BEHIND the guy who shit himself reacted. I know they’re not going as fast as, say, a car, but it happened so explosively he couldn’t stop it, so you have to think there was some back splash.
May 17, 2011 at 8:54 pm
One more thing I can add to the list of things to never do… Go to a marathon (don’t worry I never planned to run in one, I’m too lazy)
May 18, 2011 at 1:48 am
You know, just the other day I was on Hulu getting my free week of Plus membership. I spent it watching Project Runway and two seasons of Biggest Loser. (Cool story, bro.)
Anyway – at the end of season 11, there is a marathon run and Bob the Trainer Guru is running with the chick who is trying to beat the time another female Biggest Loser set in the marathon. She had to go to the bathroom. She took six minutes and all Bob could say when she got out was, “You know, real marathon runners go in their pants.”
I thought it had a sort of hostile tone for a really gross joke.
Now I know it wasn’t a joke.
And now I wonder how many times Bob has gone in his pants.
*cower*
May 18, 2011 at 7:19 am
Not sure if that lady was stopping to poop, pee, or puke… but that dude covered in his own feces really takes the cake. That is clearly a web-gem that deserves tons of etsy merchandise made in his likeness. I’m thinking buttons, t-shirts, maybe even a crocheted blanket, but since I can’t make any of those- as I’m only predisposed to hate crafters and their craftiness- I’m going to go masturbate.
May 18, 2011 at 11:41 am
You’re going to masturbate to the image of a man in short-shorts with warm liquid faeces sliding down his leg and oozing into his soon-to-be-replaced shoe as a horrified public looks on?
May 18, 2011 at 9:38 am
This calls for the scream…Munch had just finished a 10K when he painted it.
May 18, 2011 at 11:03 am
I hate to be the non-snarky one, but if you run normal, non-race distances, none of this stuff should happen to you. My crazy boyfriend just takes off in a dead run at random times during the day, and he’s still sexy when he gets back. Slightly sweaty, but that’s fine, too.
May 18, 2011 at 11:48 am
If this is sexy, you’re doing it wrong.
May 18, 2011 at 1:00 pm
I recently got snarked-down for being a half-assed jogger who does not aspire to marathons.
I think this more than supports my position.
May 18, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Yes, that’s the sound of my soul slowly dying.
May 20, 2011 at 6:54 pm
There are no words for shitting on yourself in public.
June 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm
OK, I’m working backwards from mid-June and I’ve now seen that shitting guy seven times. Don’t make me flounce out of here, you fat bitches! Also, Jews! And um, dykes! No wait, something about overweight gay Jews! Hang on, give me a sec, I’ll get it…
November 8, 2011 at 3:44 am
I think the phrase you’re looking for is “fat Jewless loosers”.