Pretty on the Outside
Every woman is rad. It’s true. That’s why everyone loves Ann Coulter. She has a vagina. She doesn’t use it, but she has one. The point is, just having a vagina makes you awesome. Sometimes we forget how awesome we are, so we need to look at our panties. Except sometimes they say “MONDAY” on them, and then we get confused.
May 16, 2011 at 11:05 am
I see the business in the front. But where’s the goatse in the back?
May 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
Definitely want a goatse pair.
May 16, 2011 at 11:19 am
May 16, 2011 at 11:25 am
Perfect
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
HAHAHAHA Wrong, just wrong!
May 16, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Do these come with one of those men or just as plain boxers?
Just asking, I have the most handsome Husband at home, but for a single friend.
May 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm
You do realise that so far I actually resisted googling this??? The descriptions were quite enough…
But NOOO, you had to go and post THREE of them!! AAArrhGGHHHrr… ickickick!!!
May 16, 2011 at 4:28 pm
I thought that I would make it through life without having to see goatse, ever! Now that pic is seared into my brain. Un-see it!!!! *weeps into hands*
May 16, 2011 at 7:02 pm
*Offers a bottle of brain bleach* I’d suggest letting it soak for at least 48 hours. You probably won’t forget them completely, but the bleach and time will dull the memories to a level you can live with.
That and booze. Lots and lots of booze.
May 16, 2011 at 7:44 pm
I suggest an I.V. drip of brain bleach.
May 16, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Don’t know about the back, maybe utilize a c-string design? I just want the inside to have felted wool bacon before I invest in a pair. Celebrate good times!!
May 16, 2011 at 11:05 am
I think I’ll keep mine inside my pants, if it’s all the same to you.
May 16, 2011 at 11:20 am
Poor Dria. You haven’t left behind the self-loathing yet, have you?
May 16, 2011 at 11:24 am
I’m loathing all right, but it isn’t myself that is the object of the emotion.
May 16, 2011 at 11:34 am
Don’t you want to be rad, Dria?
May 16, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Has anyone been “rad” since the ’80s?
May 16, 2011 at 11:06 am
If I develop little purple flowers on my vulva, I’m checking myself into the hospital immediately.
May 16, 2011 at 11:09 am
might be better to wait till the shrooms wear off though, eh?
May 16, 2011 at 12:22 pm
I regret that I have but one thumb to give to each of these comments.
May 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm
Borrow some of mine.
May 16, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Oh, thanks. Now I have recalled “Blue Waffle”. I thought I had it securely locked in the “Things I Want to Forget” memory chest.
No waffles for me tonight!
May 16, 2011 at 11:06 am
“when I left behind culturally induced self-loathing to gain a true loving picture of my self, my body, and my gender”
“**Sizes Available:
Small — women’s pant size 0-2
Medium — women’s pant size 4-6
Large — women’s pant size 8-10″
Uh-huh.
May 16, 2011 at 11:10 am
Oh good, I’m glad I wasn’t the only one that noticed that haha
May 16, 2011 at 11:11 am
The irony, it hurts.
May 16, 2011 at 11:14 am
i would definitely have a more “loving picture of my self” IF MY ASS WERE A SIZE “1″.
May 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
If people can’t criticise your weight, they’ll find something else, trust me. My weak spot was my acne.
May 16, 2011 at 11:37 am
Mine was frizzy poofball hair.
May 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
Mine was also my acne. On my ass. Which was fat.
May 16, 2011 at 12:31 pm
My teeth. But the silver lining? I get to have braces as a 33 yr-old mother. Super awesome!
My self loathing should end in about a year and a half. Unless I don’t lose this baby weight. Then I can add fat to the list that currently includes lazy, jealous and loser.
May 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm
like your laziness, jealousy and unemployed status?
May 16, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Mine was my nose. And I thought I was fat, but looking back, I had a nice shape. Singers weren’t praising apple-bottoms in the 80′s, unfortunately.
May 16, 2011 at 6:06 pm
Mine was acne, too. Nobody was ever mean to me about it but it’s easy to get into your own head about it.
Thank goodness for acne fighting cleansers and birth control!
May 16, 2011 at 6:58 pm
Height – like I could be taller if I just tried harder… fucking bullies
May 16, 2011 at 11:20 am
Every woman is rad, except those size 12 fatties. They don’t get to wear Vulveroos.
May 16, 2011 at 11:23 am
You beat me, and you also included the term “Vulvaroos”. Therefore, you win.
May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
I’ll be sure to let my wife, who falls into the category ‘above 8-10′ that. I’ll also need a new excuse for my upcoming shiner. People are starting to look at me funny when I tell them I fell into another coffee table. Particularly since we don’t own one…
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
I coined a term! I knew this vag would finally make me good for something!
May 16, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Protip: move into a house with some stairs.
May 16, 2011 at 6:27 pm
@EyeHeartSpiders – I’m looking to explain away some bruising not end a pregnancy. Maybe I’ll just watch some Lifetime Movie Network, I’m sure I’ll get some good advice there…
May 16, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Ya know what? I’m okay with NOT being small enough to wear any of her available sizes. Besides,I would prefer dinosaurs on my undies. Are those available?
Perhaps I should convo her…
May 16, 2011 at 8:18 pm
I’d kill for some Batman undies myself.
Much easier to explain than a flowery gash at least.
May 16, 2011 at 3:27 pm
I’m going to start eating immediately if it will make me inviolable to Vulveroos.
May 16, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Ahh… size 12. My goal size!
May 16, 2011 at 11:21 am
We all need a reminder of how RAD women are…as long as their bodies conform to the dominant patriarchal cultural norm!
May 16, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 16, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Because everyone over size 10 is just a lazy fatass, right? All tall or athletic women are obese because they don’t wear a size 2, totally! And of course every thin woman is in supremely excellent health with no worries or concerns to be taken seriously because we all know thin = healthy 100% of the time. Yeah, things in your world are so simple!
May 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm
And nobody has an honestly wide skeleton, so even when they’re at the very thinnest they can possibly be they’re still a size 12. Or heaven forbid a woman have a large bust so she’s a size 14 on top!
May 16, 2011 at 2:53 pm
“After all, you see a lot of attractive women with overweight bald men of average income.”
Actually, you see that ALL THE TIME. Fat, old, bald, unbathed, unemployed – somehow, there’s always a woman with low enough self esteem to snatch you guys up.
May 16, 2011 at 3:05 pm
“After all, you see a lot of attractive women with overweight bald men of average income.”
Yes, we see a lot of attractive women with overweight bald men, including old, smelly, unemployed overweight bald men who treat their women like shit, because for every unattractive, misogynistic leech, there’s a woman who will date him and pay for his cable and beer.
May 16, 2011 at 4:45 pm
@morphoyle, Two words: Douch Canoe
@loganbacon: You know my ex-husband? I’m glad I gained at least an ounce of self-esteem and divorced him so some other woman gets the pleasure of paying for his beer and cable. I believe in sharing the hate
May 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm
I love when people respond to “how about we stop judging people’s bodies” by judging people’s bodies. It’s kinda hilarious.
And you might want to turn on your damn television if you never see “attractive women with overweight bald men of average income” because it’s all over the damn place (and it’s FINE for women to be attracted to overweight bald men of average income too, I love me some bald fatties, but it’s a trope that is rarely reversed in the media.)
May 16, 2011 at 11:26 am
Well I suppose the seller did say SELF loathing. She never said she doesn’t loath us fatties who refuse to conform to her “true loving picture” of what a “rad” woman should look like.
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
Well, she had self-loathing, then she realized she wasn’t a fatty and it made her feel better.
May 16, 2011 at 11:52 am
Ah ha! So the means to treat self-loathing is by transference! That makes so much sense now. Wait, no it doesn’t!
May 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Maybe she actully loaths pepole size 10 and under and is laughing at all of them buying her ulgy ass (or ulgy vulva) creations.
May 16, 2011 at 7:54 pm
MethinksI think you are giving her way too much credit.May 16, 2011 at 11:34 am
I’m a size 12. I guess I don’t get vulva panties.
May 16, 2011 at 11:54 am
Me, too. Us real girls bring more vulvaliciousness to the table.
May 16, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Oh puh-lease! Don’t start the whole “Curvy girls are real girls” thing. You’re a “real girl” no matter what your size!
May 16, 2011 at 12:33 pm
not if you don’t breastfeed!
May 16, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Or if you circumcise your boy children.
May 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Or use pain medication during labor.
May 16, 2011 at 2:58 pm
Or don’t use an upcycled plunger as a menstrual cup.
May 16, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Not if you’re a boy.
May 16, 2011 at 3:45 pm
A big thumbs up for “vulvaliciosuness.” Not sure where I can use the word but I’ll keep tyring to find the right occasion.
May 16, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I’m honestly surprised the Black Eyed Peas haven’t made a song “Vulvalicious”. Give it some time though…
May 18, 2011 at 12:29 pm
I’m a size 18. I DEFINITELY don’t get vulva panties.
May 16, 2011 at 11:40 am
Yes… culturally-induced self-loathing, so I’m going to make panties in itty bitty sizes which I bought from a company that perpetuates those cultural messages AND exploits the female body like crazy on account of their flaming douchebag of a founder.
May 16, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Sometimes I get confused between Etsy and American Apparel.
May 16, 2011 at 2:05 pm
I was wondering when someone would point out these are American Apparel panties. She’s buying from the company run by America’s most prominent sexual harasser and uber-creep. Way to love your own vulva, how ’bout caring about a few other vulva owners?
May 16, 2011 at 11:06 am
I would like you to prove that Ann Coulter has a vagina because I don’t believe you for one second!
May 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
Ann Coulter IS a vagina. That’s why you’re confused.
May 16, 2011 at 11:15 am
You sure she’s not a dick?
May 16, 2011 at 11:18 am
She’s the vagina that starts with C.
May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
While I fully concur with cherriebomb’s assessment, I don’t use that word. Nor do I use the vagina that starts with S.
May 16, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Ann Coulter is kind of lippy, isn’t she?
May 16, 2011 at 12:59 pm
ImNotSteamPunk Crap. Catch 22 hell. I am VERY curious about what “the vagina that starts with S” is but I have no idea how to satisfy my curiosity without making you use the word you refuse to use.
May 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm
I’ll snatch the word from ImNotSteamPunk for you.
May 16, 2011 at 1:25 pm
ashphile, thanks! For whatever reason “snatch” just wasn’t occurring to me. Now, of course, I can think of two more “S words” that would work.
May 16, 2011 at 2:40 pm
The vagina that starts with a C? She’s Carrot Top?
May 16, 2011 at 7:59 pm
unholyghost2003 now I have to ask. WTF other 2 words am I missing? I personally find snatch to be very distasteful, hence why I don’t use it. I guess its my version of “yummy” from a previous post.
May 17, 2011 at 11:02 am
ImNotSteamPunk, Slash and slit. Both of which I find more distasteful than snatch. (No judgement on your dislike of “snatch,” I just am not troubled by it while I LOATHE the word “slit” in this context.)
May 16, 2011 at 11:13 am
Are you looking for the long form or the “live certificate”?
May 16, 2011 at 11:17 am
I don’t believe it either; I’m convinced she just has a smooth round spot with a hole from which she pisses pure liquid malevolence.
May 16, 2011 at 11:28 am
“smooth round spot with a hole from which she pisses pure liquid malevolence.”. GelatinousAlienDeathWeb, I believe I may just <3 you.
May 16, 2011 at 5:38 pm
ImNotSteamPunk – get in line
May 16, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I’ll fight you for him. Her? It? Whatever, I’m raring to go!
May 16, 2011 at 11:32 am
Ann Coulter has a smoothy and man hands!
May 16, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Sampler alert, sampler alert.
May 16, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Apparently in the world of Barbies that’s called having a “smoothy.”
May 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Ah shit, you guys just turned me off to smoothies forever:-/
May 16, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Now what do I call fruit and yogurt drinks?
May 16, 2011 at 4:22 pm
You can call them Barbiecrotches.
May 16, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Yes, I can, Mapleleaves. And I believe I will from now on. My husband is going to be so confused next time we go out to eat.
May 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm
If you think your husband will be confused, just imagine the kid behind the counter.
May 16, 2011 at 12:41 pm
oh man, I actually know the girl who makes these..we used to be friends in college until she decided she was ‘too cool’ for me. lol, I’ve been waiting to see her stuff on here
May 16, 2011 at 1:32 pm
You’re not woman enough to be her friend, you hide your vag from the world. Stop being ashamed of your gender!
May 16, 2011 at 1:42 pm
She was “too rad” for you.
May 16, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I hope she’s too rad for me too.
May 17, 2011 at 10:23 pm
oh right. that must’ve been it! all this time i thought i was lacking cool, but i was just lacking rad!
May 16, 2011 at 11:06 am
These are redundant.
May 16, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Seriously. Am I going to forget that I have an inward-extending orifice with protective front flaps down there, as opposed to an outward-protruding organ or some sort of bifurcated alien alternative? Seems unlikely.
May 16, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Now I want to see a pair with functioning flaps attatched. Maybe they can Velcro open and closed?
May 16, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Maybe Patti can attach her gif here. It shows fuctioning flaps. I would, but I’m at work.
May 16, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Perhaps, but they will go perfectly with my bra that has multi-colored nipple patches hot glued to each cup. I need a constant reminder of what is in there and how awesome boobs are.
May 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Oops, I meant how rad boobs are… they are sooo RAD I feel like I need to tell everyone I meet.
May 16, 2011 at 1:22 pm
They’re also repetitive.
May 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Excuse me while I draw nips on my nips.
May 16, 2011 at 11:06 am
I swear I’ve seen that same design on my grandmother’s trench-coat. O.o WEIRD.
May 16, 2011 at 11:10 am
Now you know – your grandmother is awesome!
May 16, 2011 at 11:59 am
No no. RAD.
May 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
If you’re REALLY proud of your vagina, why are you covering it up with underwear in the first place?
May 16, 2011 at 11:22 am
Yo dog, I heard you like vaginas, so we put a vagina on your vagina…
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
That meme will never stop making me laugh.
May 16, 2011 at 11:30 am
But does it come with a sub-woofer and does it spin? And can I get some neon running-lights with that?
May 16, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I want panties that play music so I can have a soundtrack coming from my vulva.
I’m just worried that when I’m walking people will only hear snatches of songs.
May 16, 2011 at 11:31 am
Mind you ‘Pimp My Vagina’ has an entirely different meaning from the way you’re using it.
May 16, 2011 at 11:43 am
…so you can stop self-loathing while you self-loathe? I got nothing.
May 16, 2011 at 12:18 pm
…so you can be rad while you’re rad!!
May 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
Why Vagine? It makes me think of moroccan cooking in a tagine. I’m not putting lamb and mint up there.
May 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
It makes me think of engine lube. In rusty cans with sun faded labels out back of the shop. “Vagine? Naw, buddy, we don’t stock that anymore.”
May 16, 2011 at 11:54 am
Maybe it’s her name….and thus the reason for the self loathing…
May 16, 2011 at 11:55 am
makes think or Archer
May 16, 2011 at 11:56 am
*of* not or
May 16, 2011 at 11:59 am
While we’re at it, can someone confirm that “menarche” is a real word? I have a degree in biology, and I never once heard that term. I would google it, but I’m at work now, and am terrified of the results I would get.
May 16, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Menarche, the 1st period of a human female. The “central” point of puberty to some cultures. It is indeed a real word.
May 16, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Yep, I remember that from sex ed. That was, however, way back in the dark ages.
May 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I had never heard of the word either. My boyfriend, on the other hand, reads Heinlein. Who knew a sci-fi author could be more informative than sex ed?
May 16, 2011 at 10:56 pm
It’s like “anarchy” but with more blood and in your pants,
May 16, 2011 at 12:04 pm
And the Google results are pretty boring, at least on the first page.
May 16, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Blah blah first period blah blah womanhood blah blah nothing to be ashamed of blah blah by the way the cramps are going to hurt like fuck for the rest of your life blah blah and now you can get pregnant.
May 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm
It’s French. That’s why you don’t think it’s a real word.
Unlike “derp” (I am going to have to research the etymology of that)
May 16, 2011 at 1:08 pm
The origin of DERP seems to be South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. The use it in BASEketball and on South Park.
Sorry if you don’t ACTUALLY care about the origins of DERP. I can be a bit pedantic.
May 16, 2011 at 7:56 pm
I sort of do “care” about the origins of derp, as in I’ve been vaguely interested but not so much as to google for it.
I’m a little disappointed that it’s a SP meme. But somehow relieved it’s not from Beavis and Butthead
May 17, 2011 at 8:13 am
You could just use a dictionary. They rarely have photos.
May 16, 2011 at 11:07 am
More like Holly Hobby snatch than psychedelic if you ask me.
May 16, 2011 at 3:00 pm
No, Holly Hobbie would finish the edges of the fabric! If you look at the closeup photo, you can easily see that the edges are unseamed, meaning that not only is this is an asinine craft, it also will not hold up. Those edges will start fraying with each wash, and that stitching isn’t close enough to keep them from coming apart.
May 16, 2011 at 3:34 pm
Thank you. While I know that it is difficult to overlook a loathsome vulva, I’m glad that I’m not the only one to notice the craptastic “crafting.” Not only are the edges unfinished, look at the size of those stiches; and they go through to the inside -ensuring hours of itching. She must still loath her vulva if she want to encase it in that.
May 16, 2011 at 4:25 pm
That’s why the fake one isn’t anywhere near the real one.
May 16, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Don’t you mean *vaginine* craft?
May 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm
I don’t loath my vagina enough to associate it with Vulveroos (love that word).
May 16, 2011 at 11:08 am
And the vulva looks more like a turtle on it’s back. A turtle with a pink head, laying in a heart-shaped pool of blood.
May 16, 2011 at 11:08 am
crap… its back. no apostrophe.
May 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
just like me when i’m on my rad period.
May 16, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Interesting that you should say that. Look what I found in the Urban Dictionary
RAD – An abbreviation of ‘radical’–a term made popular by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Well that explains the design.
May 16, 2011 at 11:09 am
I am going to wear mine on my head so everybody can see how madly radly awesome I am. And my vulva.
May 16, 2011 at 2:23 pm
You’re going to wear your vulva on your head? Radtastic.
May 16, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Why not drag it with you?
May 16, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Why the swim cap? Is she planning on diving into it?
May 16, 2011 at 3:41 pm
What the actual fuck?!
Where do you live anyway?!
May 16, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Helsinki, Finland. If you google the artist Mimosa Pale you can find more pictures. It won an award in 2007 for esthetics. “She gives the cityscape new meanings by her esthetic action, that while shortlived leaves the viewer with a permanent memory. Bajingo bajingo blah blah blah arty nonsense giant vulvabike”
May 16, 2011 at 9:17 pm
Appears that they confuse permanent memory with post traumatic stress disorder
May 16, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I wanna climb in there
May 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Her vagina is a big burden
May 16, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Aaaaaaaaaath! ARGH! Aaaaaaargh!
Ye gods, that nightmare was *last week*
*weeps softly*
May 16, 2011 at 11:09 am
Who the fuck is proud of their ENTIRE GENDER? Like, there’s no variation there?
“Half of humanity is awesome! They have snatches!”
May 16, 2011 at 11:12 am
Does this seller also offer a broad brush?
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
Sadly it isn’t available at this time. She’s busy using it to paint with.
May 16, 2011 at 11:18 am
Overcompensating.
May 16, 2011 at 11:23 am
Seriously. Not me. If I can find one person out of ten million I don’t want to kick in the ass, I’m dancing. A whole gender is out of the question. Especially a whole gender who needs a total stranger to remind them that their nads are their gift to the world.
I want a golden crown with a vulva on every pointed tip.
May 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm
I want a crown for my vulva. Or a halo. Why hasn’t my vagina been beatified yet?
May 16, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I think you just came up with a clever idea for etsy. Will beatify your vulva. You receive a certificate suitable for framing, and a shitty poem in comic sans superimposed over a photo of someone’s cat. Your vulva will achieve sainthood, which is the golden rule.
May 16, 2011 at 2:29 pm
But it must perform at least two miracles first! How many children do you have? Apparently popping them out counts toward your total. Making milk qualifies you for breast beatification.
May 16, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Does the Pope have to see it before that happens?
May 16, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I just want to know when I am going to get the “Close your Vagina” feature.
Oh wait…wrong forum
May 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
By this logic, I have to think Hitler, Stalin and Mao were awesome, simply because we all have/had penises…
May 16, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Hopefully you fall in the former category (“have” rather than “had”).
May 16, 2011 at 12:40 pm
I do, but now I’m thinking I need reconstructive surgery to fix that, or I’ll never be awesome…
May 16, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Yeah, I guess since men write the history books (or so they say) they get to claim credit for all of the brutal dictators in this world. There’ve probably been women in history who have committed as much evil (Ann Coulter’s books not withstanding) they just didn’t get as much press for it.
Sounds like someone didn’t really think things through…
May 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm
But I’m proud of Elizabeth Bathory because she had a vagina!
May 16, 2011 at 5:34 pm
I’m proud to be of the same gender as Queen Mary Tudor, Ilse Koch, Nurse Gena Jones, Lizzie Borden, Typhoid Mary, and many other wonderfully rad vulva-owners.
May 16, 2011 at 7:26 pm
You’re forgetting Lucretia Borgia. Actually, most of the Borgia women were worse than the men as far as treachery, back-stabbing and sleeping with their siblings went.
May 16, 2011 at 11:45 am
I feel like I should carry confetti around with me, so that I can throw it every time I remember I have a vagina. It’s always nice to have an excuse to throw confetti.
May 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Vagetti (TM) !
Check out my website – comes in three rad colours: vulva pink, clit pink, and blue-because-I’ve-got-a-dick.
Convo me for vagetti sawdust.
May 16, 2011 at 12:58 pm
I’m sorry, but Vagetti™ sounds like some seafood-flavored pasta dish.
May 16, 2011 at 6:02 pm
I am really sad that your name link does not go to a store selling Vagetti.
May 16, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Honey, for you I’ll shred you some Vagetti with my own birsuite labial lips.
But you can’t choose the size of the smell.
May 17, 2011 at 5:46 am
Clitter!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4O68kUj5c
May 17, 2011 at 7:15 am
I really like Sophie’s Klaus …but this you can serve with awesomesauce!
May 16, 2011 at 12:56 pm
that is going in my “quotations to use for a random speaking engagement” file. Along with a bag of confetti.
May 16, 2011 at 11:47 am
And yet, if a bloke said “It’s awesome being a dude!” the womyn will start calling him sexist! Vageroos stop us womyn from being sexist, doncha know!
May 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Bitch has not seen an episode of Mob Wives.
May 16, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Well, it’s no different from all the men who think that women have penis envy. Yeah, riiiiiight. It’s not the penis we’re envious of. It’s how you don’t have to deal with nasty bodily fluids gushing out of you painfully every month, the occasional alien being sucking the life out of you for nine months before being expelled forcefully from your nether regions, and the constant griping from your partner about how irritating it is to listen to you moaning about your “female problems.”
May 16, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Having worked outside for many years in all sorts of weather, I’m mostly jealous of the ease they have in urinating outside. There is nothing quite so miserable as having to expose your entire backside in sub-zero temperatures just to relieve yourself.
May 16, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I am totally with you on that.
May 16, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Or having to strip from the waist down in order to avoid wetting your clothes.
May 16, 2011 at 4:27 pm
As a man, I’m very curious how a woman uses the bathroom in a ball gown. Is it really like in “The Women” where an attendant helps you out of it?
May 16, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Mapleleaves the closest I’ve come to a ball gown was my wedding gown and yes, my sister had to squish into the stall with me and help hold it up. Add in the fact that we were both on our way to being quite drunk and it was funny as hell.
May 16, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I envy their ability to give urine specimens without peeing all over their hand.
May 16, 2011 at 7:02 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_urination_device
Wont help with a ball gown, but will do the trick about anywhere else.
May 17, 2011 at 10:39 pm
@mapleleaves….
Technically yes, in a ball gown we’re supposed to have a maid or other attendant….
However, as one of those weirdos that loves the whole Tudor/Elizabethan gown thing, I can tell you I have managed alone, in FULL, proper Tudor court garb to use not just a bathroom, oh no, I managed to use a port-a-potty….
It takes talent, skill and sheer determination NOT to ruin your VERY expensive hand made gown…
Oh, and for those morbidly curious, there are about 5 layers I have to get out of the way… Gown, underdress, underskirt, hoops, bloomers and THEN I’m down to my regualar undies… Sadly, they are not and will never be a pair of Vulvaroos… I’m one of those amazonian women (6’1″ barefoot) that can’t get below a size 10 without making Kate Moss look fat….
May 16, 2011 at 3:36 pm
C’mon, Bronc. Don’t tell me you haven’t met guys who think they are wonderful simply because they have a penis. And therefore anyone else who has one must be cool too. I certainly have met a couple of those guys before. They didn’t have many friends, though. And they spent a lot of time bragging about what their penises were gonna go if given half a chance with some hot, famous chick.
U
May 16, 2011 at 3:37 pm
What the heck is up with random letters posting after me? Am I being stalked by someone on Sesame Street?
Geez!
s
May 16, 2011 at 4:29 pm
If you keep posting, they’ll spell out “use recyclable feminine products.”
May 16, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 16, 2011 at 8:32 pm
I loathe myself so much that I get comfort from wearing this:
May 16, 2011 at 9:02 pm
I assume it’s purple so that no one would accidentally mistake it for a real one?
May 16, 2011 at 11:09 am
Holly Hobby of Hollywood lingerie.
…there’s got to be a better play on words for that
May 16, 2011 at 11:13 am
if you really want a true picture of yourself, why don’t you just take a peek inside?
if a calico applique is a true loving picture of your bajingo, maybe you should get that checked out
May 16, 2011 at 11:25 am
I *just knew* there had to be adult Holly Hobbie attire out there. It’s shockingly on clearance too…
Those skivvies were made for this ensemble.
May 16, 2011 at 11:30 am
Why did I just have “My Angel is a Centerfold” pop into my head? Oh, that’s right. The totally creepy sexualization of my childhood plaything.
May 16, 2011 at 11:36 am
This is Holly Hobbie’s evil twin, Crafty Cooter.
May 16, 2011 at 11:10 am
Poorly-stitched fabric scraps roughly assembled in the shape of a Christmas angel is meant to validate the beauty of my labial folds? Fuck me, I’ve been doing it all wrong. Is waxing and oiling my hallowed cooter supposed to be playing into cultural evils, or is that celebrating my radness? I’m so goddamned confused. This is why I loathe broads and suck dick.
May 16, 2011 at 11:26 am
I thumbed this up because as a woman, you’re rad and your vagina is rad and your uterus is a winner and your placenta is made of dreams. I’m very disappointed that these circumcisers would try to step all over your vulvtastic raditude.
May 16, 2011 at 11:38 am
Bitches hate me because I keep it real and because I have big tits. Sure, they’re all for celebrating the purported radosity of the omnipresent yoni until your figure doesn’t endorse their choices of Ben & Jerry’s gluts and a disdain for the razor. Then you’re the anti-Christ.
May 16, 2011 at 11:40 am
Keep being a hot sex machine, but for god’s sake, do it in your vulva drawers. Otherwise nobody will know how sexy your sex organs are.
Paypal accepted.
May 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
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May 16, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Can’t afford Ben & Jerry’s. Please replace that portion of your statement with “Safeway Store Brand Gluts.”
I do shave my fat legs, though. Hate feeling fuzzy. It just bugs me.
May 16, 2011 at 1:43 pm
@ EyeHeartSpiders:
I don’t think there’s a brand of ice cream I don’t like
May 16, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Er… didn’t quite finish that thought.
No brand of ice cream I don’t like, even the store brands. Stop & Shop’s is very good, actually.
May 16, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Funny, I didn’t know (or care) that you shave and have big tits. But I manage to hate this comment for its charming combination of defensive, bragging and judgmental without help from ice cream or furry legs.
May 16, 2011 at 5:31 pm
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May 17, 2011 at 7:20 am
I’ve been thin, I’ve been fat, I’ve been everywhere in between. But you might want to double check your perception because all those “bitches” who “hate you” for “keeping it real” may in fact not give a flying fuck about your chest size or sex appeal. I would have to guess they are judging you for the rancid nonsense that sprays out of your mouth, which looks ugly in any size.
May 16, 2011 at 11:37 am
If you’re using your wombynly (or however the fuck they’re spelling it this week) shrubbery as a topiary garden for your own amusement, it’s empowering. If you’re doing it for your boyfriend/husband it’s playing into cultural evils. If you’re doing it for your girfriend/life partner, the contradictions will make the uber-femynisistsss head’s explode.
May 16, 2011 at 11:57 am
What if I’m doing it because it gets stinky otherwise?? I like sex, and I like sex with my hubby, and a clean, non-smelly bajingo makes that sex possible….
May 16, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Well, you’re still doing it to have sex with a man, therefore according to wombynist code, it’s wrong. Of course, I have a penis so what do I know of wombynist code? Maybe say a prayer to the Goddess of Wombyn’s Lib or something while you’re landscaping…
May 16, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Would that then be halal landscaping? Hehehe….
May 16, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Since all straight sex is actually RAPE, you’re still knuckling under to the Patriarchy. Any other questions?
May 16, 2011 at 1:00 pm
That’s what the hillbilly bajingo wash is for! Haven’t you been paying attention?
May 16, 2011 at 8:01 pm
@Bronc, you really need to put the Darkover novels down.
May 16, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Thanks for the man-splaining. Really helpful…
May 16, 2011 at 2:20 pm
You’d disdain the razor too if it made your legs all itchy. Oddly enough, I’ve never met a guy who cared about my fuzziness.
May 16, 2011 at 11:10 am
*raises hand*
Um, can I be proud of who I am as a strong, independent, capable woman without having to flaunt my vagina?
It’s not that I’m ashamed of my vagina, but I didn’t make it myself so I don’t really see the pride aspect of it.
So having a picture of another vagina I didn’t make myself over my vagina that I didn’t make myself really isn’t a pride issue for me.
Technically I guess I helped make my daughter’s vagina but being proud of that just sounds like something CPS is going to get called over…
May 16, 2011 at 11:31 am
I honestly don’t get the whole ‘As a wombyn, the most important part of you and the defining aspect of your very being is YOUR VULVA and all the stuff attached to it! (*women without these parts/with non-functioning parts need not apply)’ movement. It’s so patronizing, diminishing and dismissive.
May 16, 2011 at 11:43 am
Its the radical feminist answer to the Stepford Wife. Which in turn is a form of Stepfordism. I’m hoping eventually the contradiction will either force them into a black hole, or just pop them from existence.
May 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm
And the vulva on the left/
is now the vulva on the right
With apologies to The Who.
May 16, 2011 at 5:53 pm
A labia to the left of me,
A labia to the right,
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you.
A clits love song to a vagina.
May 16, 2011 at 11:55 am
I don’t get it either. My lady bits have no magical properties, nor do I want them to have such properties. And I don’t find it so amazing and beautiful, either. I don’t weep with joy when I contemplate the fact that I have a vagina – actually, I don’t contemplate it at all. It’s there, big deal.
May 16, 2011 at 11:59 am
Then again, maybe yours is lulling you into a false complacency and one of these days it’ll attain magic powers and gobble you up, right there in your desk chair while you’re reading Regretsy.
Now THAT would be Ms. Pacman. NOM NOM FWAP CHOMP NOM.
May 16, 2011 at 1:18 pm
thanks kimberly! it’s not enough that there are food shortages and rioting and earthquakes and civil wars and Woody Harrelson is gonna die next year.
Now I have to be afraid of my own vagina.
May 16, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Speak for yourself. I’d love to wiggle my cooter ala Bewitched style and have my laundry instantly done.
May 16, 2011 at 11:58 am
it’s minimizing us down to one part. Just because it’s WOMEN doing the minimizing doesn’t make it any better than when men only want that part….freaking idiots….
May 16, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Yeah, it’s like Basic Reclaiming 101.
Hint, little Crafty Vulvite: some of us are capable of more sophisticated responses to the patriarchy than “Yay! Vulvas! They’re not nasty! They’re not! They’re not!”
And even if I were still a newbie feminist, I don’t think panties with crappy applique would impress me. One wash and you know those country craft vulvas would be fraying all over the damn place.
May 16, 2011 at 12:28 pm
What do you mean wash? They’re fraying already. Even they want to run away from this vulvite post haste.
May 16, 2011 at 12:32 pm
I know, wtf? Will we next move on to other organs in an attempt to end racial hatred? Will I be seeing tee shirts with livers appliqued on that say “I’m black, and I can store glycogen!”
May 16, 2011 at 12:42 pm
If Etsy hasn’t started selling these yet I believe ThinkGeek may be interested!
May 16, 2011 at 1:21 pm
As an alcoholic, I find the liverSTRONG movement to be offensive and discriminatory
May 16, 2011 at 11:11 am
It’s the modest version of see-through underwear.
May 16, 2011 at 11:15 am
Crotchless panties, NOW with built-in crotch! And if you call now, we’ll give you a bonus crotch to show your crotch pride! Operators are standing by.
May 16, 2011 at 11:52 am
If my crotch was placed that high up on my person, I’d be terribly concerned, although it would make some positions WAY easier. Hmm…
May 16, 2011 at 6:20 pm
If your vagina looks like that, you need more help than Etsy can give.
May 16, 2011 at 11:11 am
Hmmm….I just checked, and my vulva isn’t made out of purple paisley fabric. Does that mean I’m not rad anymore?
May 16, 2011 at 11:34 am
Clearly you never were if you don’t have purple paisleys on your vulva. Welcome to the Never Rad Club.
May 16, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Purple paisley is too close to “blue waffle” for comfort. Be glad you have neither.
May 16, 2011 at 11:11 am
I don’t sport a vag patch, ergo, I’m full of self-loathing? And if we’re going to make little patchies celebrating our bodies, where are the cutesie penises and buttholes appliqués?
May 16, 2011 at 11:12 am
Those aren’t rad. Only female parts count. Don’t you know?
May 16, 2011 at 11:15 am
I agree, genitals divide… but buttholes unite us all!
May 16, 2011 at 12:10 pm
And I don’t know about y’all, but the anus gets far less appreciation than it deserves. That’s the hardest working hole in your underdrawers, baby.
May 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Maybe some raw edge applique “everybody poops” on the back. Unite the gender.
May 16, 2011 at 1:41 pm
I smell a t-shirt slogan….well maybe smell is the wrong word.
May 16, 2011 at 3:58 pm
I get your meaning but the wording conjures up a very unsavory picture.
May 17, 2011 at 12:20 am
Nah, its a good idea… then you can change the size of the smell.
May 16, 2011 at 12:01 pm
The day we make psychedelic penis-patch panties is the day the patriarchy wins.
May 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm
I’d wear those. I’ve always secretly wanted a penis. Mostly just so I can stand up to pee without having urine run down the sides of my legs.
May 16, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Oh, you haven’t heard?
http://www.femalefreedom.ca/
May 16, 2011 at 3:12 pm
@whimsiclekrissery
That seems like a uti waiting to happen. Placing something into my urethra just sounds painful.
May 16, 2011 at 7:32 pm
I doesn’t get any closer to your urethra than toilet paper does.
May 17, 2011 at 8:35 am
whimsiclekrissery – Thanks so much for including that link! A great idea, lots of stuff I’d share with friends that are wombyn…and did you note the name of the “location” in Montreal? Talk about wetting pants…!! ROFLMFAO!!!!!
(And that’s tough in this office!!!)
May 16, 2011 at 11:11 am
That doesn’t even look like a stylized, vulva, labia, clit, whatever it’s supposed to be. I am confused.
May 16, 2011 at 11:58 am
You’re just not in tune with your magical wombynly mysteries. It’s OK. Someday you’ll break free of the culturally-induced self-loathing and you too can appreciate the majesty of it whilst crying beautiful glitter tears of celebration.
May 16, 2011 at 11:12 am
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May 16, 2011 at 11:12 am
Just another manic Monday in my vag.
May 16, 2011 at 11:13 am
I dont have to look at my undies to know I’m rad… I just look at my dick.
May 16, 2011 at 11:40 am
Penises of the world unite! Oppress the wombyn-folk with the power of our wangs!
May 16, 2011 at 12:00 pm
If I wear a strap-on, can I join too??
May 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Sure, but remember, you’re only renting awesomeness. If you take it off to shower, you’ll have to look down and feel shame.
May 16, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I had a dream I was being repressed by wangs… it was pretty awesome.
May 16, 2011 at 1:29 pm
I think it’s really selfish of her to make ladies panties with vulvas when we’ve already got ‘em. If I can take enough time away from remembering how rad I am, then I’m starting a new line of vulva boxers, so you guys can remember how awesome I am too
May 16, 2011 at 11:14 am
Soooooooooooooo glad the seller explained that the patch is a vagina! ‘Cause I thought it was a cute little butterfly and might have bought a pair.
Oh, but I wear size 14 pants so I wouldn’t have.
May 16, 2011 at 11:36 am
Yeah, it looks like only size 10 and below folks are ‘rad’! Guess loathing other people is dandypants as long as you don’t loathe yourself.
May 16, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Don’t forget that it’s American Apparel, so while it SAYS size 8-10 it’s actually the 4-6. So us 14s are double-fatties
May 16, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Wait… I’m from the US, so our clothing sizes are bigger than everyone else’s?
May 16, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Yep, ‘fraid so.
May 18, 2011 at 6:55 pm
I blame it on the fashion industry. There’s no way in hell that I should have to buy XL ANYTHING, and yet in many stores that’s the way it has to be (if I can find anything that fits me to begin with). It’s been worse in the last 5 years.
May 16, 2011 at 11:14 am
So…is this considered “snatch stitch”?
May 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Crotch-stitch.
Needlepoon.
Appliqunt.
May 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Snatch-Patch
May 16, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Snatchwork, surely?
May 16, 2011 at 11:15 am
I used to have 2 sets of day of the week underwear. Those were way more awesome.
May 16, 2011 at 11:17 am
Does this come with a matching bra? Complete with appliquéd nipple ridges and hair? Cause I’m proud of my tits too. And I only want to show any potential sex partners that I am scary as shit and scare them off during the pre-show.
May 16, 2011 at 3:16 pm
If a guy has made it to the pre-show, you’d have to put something WAY scarier than this on your panties for him to even notice it’s there!
May 16, 2011 at 11:18 am
I, for one, am proud of myself for having elbows. Two of them, can you believe it!? I am going to start a whole line of clothing and jewelry, celebrating the rad awesomeness of elbows!
May 16, 2011 at 11:28 am
Elbow skin is practically ball skin, though, so when you celebrate your pair of elbows, you’re actually lauding the scrote. Which is the same as kicking the original etsy artist right in the vulva. Why do you hate the children?
May 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Four words: Tweed jacket. Elbow patches.
May 16, 2011 at 11:18 am
I don’t fit anything she makes. Maybe I could repurpose them as handkerchiefs? Or would that disrespect vaginas everywhere?
May 16, 2011 at 11:19 am
“These undies would make a great gift for celebrating something special like menarche”
actually, i think some ibuprofen, a heating pad, and a chocolate bar would be better.
May 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
Does she sell a separate little appliques of blood drops? Maybe a little bit of yarn depicting the tampon string?
May 16, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Ahh, the presents my mom got me when I got mine….your post is nostalgic for me…
May 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Ibuprofen, a heating pad, a chocolate bar, and a gun.
May 16, 2011 at 11:19 am
I’ll have to take her word for it that this is the perfect place for a vulva patch. It’s more perfect than say….. your tax return or a box of Frosted Flakes.
May 16, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Or even, say, in its anatomically correct place on your body!
May 16, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Oh Joshie, you made me laugh…and consider printing out some vag stickers to put on all the items that had previously been deprived!
May 16, 2011 at 11:19 am
Once I escaped from my culturally-induced prison of self-loathing, I realized I didn’t have to compete with men in the workplace, or strive to be an awesome mother, or even be a loyal friend to other women. I take a few hours every day to stare at my labia and just know everything about me is marvelous.
May 16, 2011 at 11:23 am
There are much more entertaining ways to spend time with your snatch than to stare at it.
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
Ugh. I bet you play with your Star Wars action figures, too. No thanks. I’m keeping mine “Mint In Box.”
May 16, 2011 at 12:23 pm
“Mint in Box”? Does that not get irritating?
May 16, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I don’t have any of that there hillbilly bajingo wash, is there mint in that?
May 16, 2011 at 4:34 pm
There’s also chamomile and stinging nettle.
“I heard you like couscous, so I got some lamb and mint and you can have a tagine in your…” ah, never mind..
May 16, 2011 at 8:34 pm
I’ll bet she has a Darth Tater too!
May 16, 2011 at 11:19 am
“I started making these psychedelic vagines when I left behind culturally induced self-loathing to gain a true loving picture of my self, my body, and my gender.”
Sounds like someone went and saw the Vagina Monologues!
May 16, 2011 at 11:40 am
Heh, I was in a production of the Vagina Monologues and they are nothing like this. In fact, college productions were allowed to write songs. Will, our token SNAG (sensitive new age guy) wrote a song with “You can call it pussy, but I know I’m a lion” as the chorus. The theater prof laid across the piano as cheesy as could be while she sang it. Awesome.
May 16, 2011 at 2:37 pm
When I was a teen (having recently lost my virginity), I saw the Monologues… I was so naive that I was actually waiting for one of the stories to be about how someone had an amazing heterosexual first time, like I had.
Turns out sex with men is always bordeline rape, and you can only enjoy yourself with another woman. I guess I’m just a dumb vagine.
May 16, 2011 at 11:20 am
“they serve just as well as an everyday reminder of your own female awesomeness”
you know what’s an everyday reminder of my own female awesomeness? the fact that i have BOOBS and i can use them to get pretty much whatever i want.
May 16, 2011 at 11:46 am
Indeed, tits are the oft-overlooked power-brokers in relations between the genders. Personally I think it has a lot to do with the fact that showing cleavage upstairs more socially acceptable than downstairs…and I think we’ll all agree this is one of the great failures of our society.
Equal rights for vulva cleavage!!!
May 16, 2011 at 11:55 am
Does this mean I have to start stuffing my panties now too?
May 16, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Technically stuffing your panties would have the opposite effect of stuffing your bra (think Just One Of The Guys), but some guys are into that…
May 16, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Nonono – boobs are for BABIES and TODDLERS, not for use in power struggles…
May 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm
In my experience, there’s not a lot of struggle when boobs get invovled. Mostly a lot of blank stares and nodding agreement.
May 16, 2011 at 2:38 pm
What if I coyly show 3/4 of my buttcrack?
May 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm
yes, my boobs that get in the way constantly, and will type for themselves on the keyboard if I lean over too far. Are those the boobs you’re talking about?
You should see the contraption that is my jogging bra.
May 16, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Let me guess: underwire bra under compression bra under running top?
May 16, 2011 at 8:05 pm
no, its some scientifically buttressed thingy – no wires – that actually stop them bouncing up and down. Also prevents a lot of breathing, so it’s a bit of a tradeoff for highly aerobic work.
Shock Absorber: http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html
May 18, 2011 at 12:41 am
Wow, that site left me feeling pretty weird. But I also want to try one of their bras.
May 16, 2011 at 11:21 am
SpongeBob VaginaPants
May 16, 2011 at 11:23 am
You see, I have a vagina, and I certainly don’t hate it. But, um, I’m completely comfortable with my innate awesomness without wearing fabric versions of it every where I go.
In fact, I would argue that anyone who needs to wear such a thing to ‘acknowledge their feminine power’ is protesting too much.
May 16, 2011 at 11:25 am
As a virgin, these panties will only confuse me into believing my ladyfriend is not wearing any underwear. And then she will get mad at me for trying to poke into what is essentially a shitty iron-on.
May 16, 2011 at 11:56 am
Then these underpants are sponsored by Darwin, because if you can’t tell the difference between a yearning human hole and a gingham clipping, your DNA doesn’t belong in the gene pool.
But I have faith in you. I know you can tell the difference. This crafter is just trying to trick you, like they do.
May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
Wow, mine is in a really different place than that. I must be deformed!
May 16, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Maybe these are for that black vinyl Frankenhooker doll from a few weeks back. The one with the erogenous navel.
May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
So is plaid rad or is it only florals that count? If you’re going to make a fabric vulva at least get a little stuffing in there for a 3d affect *hmmm.. off to the sewing machine*
May 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
OMFG, I just peeked at your Etsy site, Mr. Octopants is HILAROUS!
May 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm
LOVE your stuff! I just convo’d you about joining the Regretsy group on etsy.
May 16, 2011 at 11:48 am
I guess you could make plaid vulvas for those ladies who like to live certain stereotypes…
May 16, 2011 at 12:16 pm
No plaid for me, thanks. Real tartan so that I can celebrate both my awesome feminine raditude AND my cultural heritage in one fell swoop – though I guess you’d also need to get a pattern with windmills on it, too. That won’t clash, will it?
Never mind. Worrying about whether or not my vagine will clash with itself is just telling evidence of my culturally-induced self-loathing and oppression by the patriarchy.
May 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
What would Belgians put on it?
May 16, 2011 at 12:29 pm
I don’t know… perhaps somewhere, out there, is a fabric pattern of many tiny Hercule Poirots?
May 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Belgians would probably write “love me, love my vagina” in 4 languages. Also, they would use chocolate and lace. Damn, now I want some Belgian crotch panties.
May 16, 2011 at 11:27 am
at the end of days (which if you live in the deep south is this coming saturday – at least that’s what the billboards say), i’d rather be judged on my radness and awesomeness as a person, regardless of the bits i was issued at birth.
see when you break out of your prison of self-loathing, you shouldn’t go and build yourself another one.
when you let your vag define you, the terrorists win.
May 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
Ah, but then you’d actually have to do something rad and awesome and that’s just too much damn work. I mean, shit, it’s really fucking unfair that people expect me to improve myself as a person or do something to benefit other people before everyone thinks I’m rad and awesome. LAZY EGO-BUILDING FTW.
May 16, 2011 at 11:35 am
‘when you break out of your prison of self-loathing, you shouldn’t go and build yourself another one.’
This needs to be on a shirt/stitched sampler/octopus/whatever.
May 16, 2011 at 3:49 pm
“When you let your vag define you, the terrorists win.” would make a conversation stopper of a sampler. Preferably with the famous terrorist of your choice in the corner saying “Say What?”.
May 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
We’ve got the apocalypse signs up here in Milwaukee, too. Very excited to see Jesus and/or spend the next 153 days with all the other Regretsians here in our self-induced lake of fire. If I order express shipping, do you think I’ll get to wear these at least once before the Rapture?
May 16, 2011 at 11:47 am
You have 153 days? Wow. Down here in VA we must be getting the Rapture early. May 21, 2011 is THE END per many Baptists.
May 16, 2011 at 11:50 am
Officially, 5/21 is the day we get rid of them. Then there’s a period of tumult and I think the full on Apocalypse is sometime next year. But then again I’m getting a lot of my info third hand, most because I don’t give enough of a shit to investigate.
May 16, 2011 at 11:58 am
Yeah. I’ve seen those and met a True Believer.
I’m in the south as well. I love the south. For entertainment value it beats ANYTHING Hollywood and TV land can crank out.
May 16, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Ah! 3rd hand info is good for me. My deities don’t give us days when they’ll end it. They’re just happy to not be worshiped by crazy monotheists.
Ooooh, does that mean come summer there will be less tourists to deal with down here? Or are tourists blights & abominations even unto the Gods?
May 16, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Anyone read the Left Behind books? I did mainly to see WTF the Rapture was supposed to be. If you ask me, most of what happens post-Rapture is kick ASS….the only part I think that would bother me is the bugs…
May 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Look on the plus side, one way or the other, you’re not going to be hearing much out of the Rapturists come 5/22, so you’ve got that going for you, which is nice.
May 16, 2011 at 1:12 pm
The date was determined by a guy who wrote a book about how this was all supposed to happen in 2004.
I don’t plan on engaging in wanton sin, but I don’t plan to have my spiritual affairs any more in order than usual.
May 16, 2011 at 2:42 pm
According to the guy who has carefully calculated the date (and who previously carefully calculated the date to be September 6, 1994, but apparently left out the book of Jeremiah… easy oversight, happens to everyone) the second coming of Christ will be 5/21. He’ll put everyone who wins onto the charter bus to Heaven. But the people who had naughty thoughts or coveted their neighbors’ vulva panties or are Chinese resellers will be left here on earth for 153 days of torment. Then maybe, just MAYBE, Jesus will pick a second string team, but that’s really your last shot. Then the earth and the universe and even LOLcats goes kaput.
That’s entirely reasonable. Don’t you feel like you should get right with God now?
May 17, 2011 at 5:08 am
didn’t the guy who founded the 7th Day Adventists predict something like that?? And it basically didn’t happen, but people were like, oh, wtf, we’ll still follow?? I can’t figure that shit out….
May 17, 2011 at 7:30 am
May 21 is the Rapture, while The End is in October I think. Plenty of time!
May 16, 2011 at 11:49 am
Saw those billboards on my road trip out west too. At first I thought they were just some sort of Guerrilla marketing scheme for a summer blockbuster apocalypse movie. Go to the website on 5/21 and see the sneak preview trailer type thing.
May 16, 2011 at 7:09 pm
“and who previously carefully calculated the date to be September 6, 1994, but apparently left out the book of Jeremiah… easy oversight, happens to everyone”
and..
“and even LOLcats goes kaput.”
Almost snorted coffee out my nose with those two.
I am also living in the South and thinking about waiting to grade my students tests on Sunday… (just in case)!
May 16, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Awesome! I’ve often longed for the apocalypse so’s I could find out just how good my latent survivalist skills are.
Cricket bat at the ready.
May 17, 2011 at 5:56 am
And your packets of dehydrated water. Don’t forget those.
May 17, 2011 at 7:29 am
We have these billboards in Milwaukee?? Where, because I need to see them! Or at least one!
May 16, 2011 at 11:28 am
Here’s the scenario: Some “self-loathing” woman wanting to feel her “awesomeness” wears these out clubbing, confusing the mess of fabric on the front for ‘I’m gettin’ lucky’. Can you imagine some poor horny schmo taking one look at those and her having to explain what it depicts? Not even beer goggles could make them look like something from Victoria’s Secret. I’d imagine the ensuing awkwardness would be hilarious.
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 am
I thought society was supposed to be evolving to a point where one didn’t have to rely on their own and others’ perceptions of their body and its functions in order to create a sense of self worth. Or does that just completely take out the ability for one to say “HEY LOOK, I’VE FOUND AN EASY NEW EXCUSE FOR WHY I’M AWESOME. MY GENETALIA!”?
May 16, 2011 at 11:30 am
Well, I would say that you should wear these on the *outside* of your pants so that everyone *else* knows how awesome women are, but:
1) There’s no way I could fit these on even one butt cheek…
2)…so there’s no way I’d get them over a pair of pants.
3) I like my size 14 body.
4) AND I’M STILL AWESOME!
May 16, 2011 at 11:52 am
If you were really awesome, you could fit into the sizes she offers. Stop kidding yourself and welcome to Club Fat, Ugly, Jealous Losers!
(and for the record size 14 is perfectly fine)
May 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm
It is only fine if you love your vagina and thank your nipples.
May 16, 2011 at 1:02 pm
http://m.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/underwear_weirdo_caught_packing_p1ob2XYDJQv5RtLIz8EpCK?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME=
Woman with her underwear on the outside at the Waldorf-Astoria. No mention of vag pride, just goofy.
May 16, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Yeah, note the “psychiatric evaluation”, which is what I probably need from spending so much time on a vag panties page.
May 16, 2011 at 9:26 pm
PINK underwear, wonder if it had glitter on it?
May 16, 2011 at 11:31 am
I went to her Etsy website and took a closer look. The edges of the fabric are fraying. This pisses me off more than anything.
May 16, 2011 at 12:14 pm
I know. Applique FAIL.
Can’t you just imagine what they’ll look like after the first wash? Yay, frayed vulva!
May 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Maybe that’s the idea. Even a frayed vulva is a rad vulva.
May 16, 2011 at 6:10 pm
The fraying is for that not-shaved natural look.
May 18, 2011 at 5:39 am
The fraying edges are part of the charm… apparently…
“the patch will naturally fuzz up along the edges as you wash and wear – machine washing and drying will speed up this process. I myself, am a machine washer and dryer and my undies have held up great while developing darling fuzzy edges!”
May 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
I can’t be the only one who finds this attitude just as offensive and objectifying as outright misogyny, can I? Why can’t women just be proud of themselves for their actual accomplishments as human beings instead of the bits they had a 50/50 chance of ending up with?
And why does it have to be “female pride” anyway? Why can’t it just be “awesome person” pride? Radness knows no gender!
May 16, 2011 at 11:56 am
I have no issue with other women being confident in their skin and with their sexuality; or proud of their hottness or physical atributes. Do and be what you want.
But these types of “woman = crotch” crap really irks me. Half the world has one. Get over it already. The whole world has nipples! Should we celebrate those as a symbol of humanity?
May 16, 2011 at 12:15 pm
These are the sort of people whose minds are blown when you inform them that some men have vulvas, and some women do not.
Gender’s more than the fleshy bits, after all. Much, much more.
May 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm
True that. The whole “woman = vulva” thing that etsy!feminists seem to embrace so much is pretty demeaning to trans* ladies.
May 16, 2011 at 12:20 pm
That’s entirely too rational an approach. Clearly you don’t understand! It’s SO not a double-standard.
May 16, 2011 at 1:12 pm
If your only accomplishment is bad applique-sewing on underpants, I guess you need to resort to pussy pride.
May 16, 2011 at 11:33 am
Psychedelic Vagines is an awesome name for a Zydeco band!
May 16, 2011 at 12:08 pm
After four hours on the back of my husband’s motorcycle, I started thinking Burning Labia would be a bitchin’ all girl metal band. But I digress…what up with the felt coochie? Mine isn’t in that spot, either. Anatomically Correct Underwear: You’re Doing it Wrong.
May 17, 2011 at 7:33 am
There’s perfumes called Burning Vulva, Glowing Vulva, etc., courtesy of BPAL if you wanted to be really authentic!
May 16, 2011 at 11:40 am
Once again feminist “womyn” fail by defining themselves through their bodies. Are we ever gonna move past this hippy-dippy-vulva-chippy crap and start thinking women are awesome based on their merits and achievements, instead of the body parts they were born with?
May 16, 2011 at 11:50 am
Also;
Happy menarching ladies.
May 16, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Well that gave me an idea. If that underwear had some kind of LOLcat screen-printed on it, it would at least be funny and a cute pun besides.
May 16, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Don’t get us in trouble! Bronc said no more LOL cats!
May 16, 2011 at 2:26 pm
I’m glad I scrolled through all the comments before I did this same.exact.thing.
May 16, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I don’t care what gender someone is. Either they’re capable, intelligent, and worth hiring/talking to/doing business with, or they’re not. Sure, *statistically* if I hire a male subcontractor, he’ll more likely talk sports at me all day long, though I don’t give two shits about it, and if I hire a female, she’ll talk Housewives, whom I wish would all get tetanus. (I ain’t big on T.V. either way) But this is beside the point. To me humans are humans, and, until proven otherwise, are all equally worthless.
May 16, 2011 at 3:19 pm
I would rather shoot myself in the bajingo than watch Real Housewives of Whatever.
May 16, 2011 at 6:14 pm
So true. “I hate her and she’s mean to me and I’ll be mean to her because she said X to me and…”
Is you skull full of helium? STOP HANGING OUT WITH EACH OTHER!
May 16, 2011 at 7:26 pm
your*
My sheepish apologies.
May 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
Leaving behind culturally induced self-loathing and gaining a true loving picture of my self, my body, and my gender I realized that my greatest gift to the world is my snatch. The greatest and most self-loving contribution a woman can make is not her strength, her compassion, or her intellect. It is her twat.
Ladies! The only way to truly reject our patriarchal prisons is to always remember that the only important thing about us is between our legs!
Wait. I can’t quite figure out why but that seems … wrong.
May 16, 2011 at 11:54 am
Wombyn’s Lib – Ur doing it wrong!
May 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
I grew up in the ’60′s. The last thing I want to see is a psychedelic vagina. Just say, “NO!”
May 16, 2011 at 11:41 am
May 16, 2011 at 11:47 am
And now I need to make panties with a dick picture on them. So when I tell people to suck mine, I’m actually being literal for once.
May 16, 2011 at 11:51 am
Can those of us RAD wombyn who don’t have a dick still order some? Then we can be RAD on both sides!
May 16, 2011 at 11:47 am
Jesus. If you’re so into your “rad” bits just get a pair of crotchless undies. And if you’re really into it a pair of reverse chaps. There you go!
May 16, 2011 at 11:50 am
I carry my vag with me (i carry it in
my vag) i am never without it (anywhere
i fold, you fold, my dear, and whatever is
rad on me is only your doing, my cooter)
i fear
no errant hair, (for you, my vag, are hairy) i want
no vagisil (for your aroma is natural and true)
and it’s you every 28 days or so, give or take,
i schedule my vacations around
here is the deepest secret no one knows
it’s just a hole in my groin with a number of biological uses
half the world has one just like mine
it doesn’t give me magic powers, or smell like flowers
it’s not keeping the stars apart
i carry my vag with me (i carry it in my vag)
May 16, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Please tell us old white guys what song this is.
May 16, 2011 at 5:58 pm
This is a poem – I carry your heart with me by e.e. cummings.
May 16, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Heehee, you said cumming.
what can I say, I have the sense of humour of a 12 year old boy and I LIKE it that way!
May 16, 2011 at 9:24 pm
Darn. I was imagining a trio of back-up singers doing the part in parentheses.
May 17, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Yeah. I’m borrowing MissWalstra’s thumbs from earlier.
May 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm
You rang?
May 16, 2011 at 11:51 am
If you need a reminder label over your vag, maybe you aren’t the best example of what being a kickass woman is all about? Maybe some crotchless panties would allow you to not forget about your anatomy since it would no longer be covered up and therefore no longer exist. Its cheaper too, all you have to do is take a pair of scissors to an old pair.
May 16, 2011 at 11:52 am
Two words that don’t belong together: psychedelic vagina (I’m fixing her stupid misspelling.)
May 16, 2011 at 11:56 am
I think this is secretly an aid for people who can’t dress themselves. Like Garanimals. Except instead of showing you which articles of clothing go together, the weird-ass fabric icons show you where it goes.
Otherwise you might wear your bra as earmuffs or something.
Don’t believe me? One word: skants.
May 16, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Now I know what to wear when I want to look like a cunt.
May 16, 2011 at 12:05 pm
$9.00? The decoration will not hold up for even one washing.
May 16, 2011 at 12:14 pm
From the page: “Be aware that the patch will naturally fuzz up along the edges as you wash and wear – machine washing and drying will speed up this process. I myself, am a machine washer and dryer and my undies have held up great while developing darling fuzzy edges!”
The product isn’t falling apart… it’s just getting more darling
May 16, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Don’t you know? Celebrating your fuzz is just one of the ways of getting in touch with your inner wombyn.
May 16, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Personally I’m not big on fuzz on real vaginas or my crappy applique ones.
May 16, 2011 at 3:41 pm
If I wanted something to touch my inner wombyn I would have bought that 13″ dildo stick that was featured a few days ago.
May 17, 2011 at 8:20 am
I’m thinking a 13″ dildo wouldn’t ‘touch’ your inner wombyn, so much as shatter it…
May 16, 2011 at 12:43 pm
if you were a real woman you’d know how to wash them w/o ruining them!
(sorry, had to get the sexist joke for the day out)
May 17, 2011 at 8:24 am
No, if she were a real woman, she’d be in the kitchen making her man a sammich instead of surfing the web for vulva panties.
(If you’re going to do it, do it right)
May 17, 2011 at 10:23 pm
hey! i was goin for originality pal
May 16, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Loving the irony of the American Apparel tag. We all know how that sleazebag “celebrates” vaginas.
May 16, 2011 at 12:14 pm
So true. Dov Charney is a pig.
May 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm
I refuse to celebrate a part of my body that routinely causes me pain. I don’t hate it – but I’m not throwing it a damn party. Ease up on the cramps, etc, and I just might buy you a cake, you bastard!
May 16, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Hey don’t blame your vulva for what your uterus does.
May 17, 2011 at 5:09 am
Well, ok, fine be all technical.
But the cervix and the uterus are parts I’m supposed to celebrate too, since they’re actively involved in menarche – and fuck that, mine both cause pain. Screw them….
May 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Besides, it is BEYOND difficult to so accurately represent the beauty that is the cervix using leftover quilting scraps…
May 16, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Better a small one there than one giant one on your back… I or was it the other way around?
May 16, 2011 at 12:16 pm
This makes that menarche pendant a whole lot more attractive.
“Here, honey, congratulations! Now you get to wear THESE for the rest of your life! Bwa ha ha ha ha!”
May 16, 2011 at 12:17 pm
I think the vulva applique would be more appropriate on a menstrual rag. It would be like mirrors reflecting each other, only with vulvas.
May 16, 2011 at 12:27 pm
You know what’s more fun than having abstract vagina underwear? Actually having a vagina. I am reminded each day that I have a vagina by the fact that there is a vagina between my legs. Isn’t that awesome enough?
You see, I also have a leg–two of them, really. But I don’t wear pants with abstract legs on them so that I can remind myself that I have legs that are splendiferous.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m really glad that people are proud that they’re women and appreciate aspects that come with their sex and gender. That’s great–I do. But when you try and mass market it like it’s the new Disney Princess line, well, that’s when I get what Eve Ensler refers to as the Angry Vagina.
May 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm
(Insert sexist joke about the Angry Vagina Monologues…)
May 16, 2011 at 12:40 pm
I think I figured out this whole vag-worship thing. Since men have this illogical fixation with their genital size and performance, we womb-in decided we needed an equally idiotic fixation.
“I’m – ahem – quite the man if you know what I mean, baby.” *crotch grope* “Guys in the locker room used to say I was hung like a horse.”
*coy smile* “I’ve been known to bring life into a world or two, if you know what I mean, baby. Guys like to call mine The Goddess of Power.”
Come on guys and gals! Sex is awesome, sex is fun, sex can even make babies if you’re into that. But we were all born with genitals, and they almost all function as advertised. Can we just get on with life and not tie our flipping egos and sense of self-worth to one part of our bodies?
May 16, 2011 at 12:53 pm
I took a look at the other photos, and seems to me that the patch will fall apart after a couple washings. It’s hand-stitched insecurely, and none of it is hemmed or even cut with pinking shears. It’ll fray completely. Not very rad. (Apologies if this was already pointed out… so many comments, so little time!)
May 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm
Aw come on….everyone knows Ann Coulter doesn’t have an actual vagina. She just tucks an angry Tribble between her legs.
May 16, 2011 at 2:19 pm
*snort*
May 16, 2011 at 6:35 pm
@mycatpoopsinabox
You didn’t just snort Ann Coulter’s angry Tribble. I’m stunned.. shocked even.
What was it like?
May 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Squeaky.
May 16, 2011 at 1:14 pm
here’s a terrifying thought:
A Million-Woman Menarche on Washington.
May 16, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Damn it! I don’t know whether to use “Psychedelic Vagine” as my Indie Rock band name or as my roller derby name.
May 16, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Use Psychedelic Vagine for the band, and Angry Menarche for the derby.
May 16, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Looks familiar, but mine came in a pack of 8 from costco for $6.99.
You SAVED $3!!!
May 16, 2011 at 1:47 pm
So her true, (comma added by me, because it belongs there) loving picture of herself, her body, and her gender, looks like a four-year-old’s drawing of a butterfly, artistically reinterpreted in scraps of her quilting fat quarters? Or is it a lop-sided daisy with a little pink button on top? Or is it just four hand-cut flowery/hearty shapes that she happened to drop onto the table in that arrangement and her self-promoting vulva obsessed mind said, “shit, it looks like a vagina to me!” I feel so much less self-loathing now. I never realized calico had so much power.
On a related note, I bet mtraub can’t wait to buy these so she can oneday give them to her daughter for her menarche.
May 16, 2011 at 2:08 pm
If she were really proud and rad, and not full of culturally induced self-loathing, she’d sell those on t-shirts.
Team Vag!
May 16, 2011 at 2:36 pm
If I need to remind myself of how rad my vagina is, maybe I’ll just look inside my panties instead of outside them.
May 16, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I never got the whole “I am PROUD of having gender-specific GENITALIA!” bit before. Men and women are equally bad about it; sure, men tend to get into the whole “Look how big/small” thing whereas women tend to do the whole “padoodledoo-pride” thing. Unless you’re a eunuch or a hermaphrodite, you were born with either a penis or a vagina, which means you’re on equal footing with 49.99999% of all the other people you run into on a daily basis, AND are no more nor less special than the opposite 49.99999%. The only difference is, all 99.99999999% think wearing a felt bajingo is probably good grounds for avoiding you indefinitely and excluding you from being invited to anything tasteful.
May 16, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Sorry to post right after I’ve just posted, but you know, the whole women’s “pride” thing aside, I know a drag queen who would freaking LOVE these.
May 16, 2011 at 3:35 pm
From the product description:
“Small — women’s pant size 0-2
Medium — women’s pant size 4-6
Please specify your size in the “note to seller” box at check out. Only one pair of each size is available, I will update size availability as items sell.
!! Alert !! American Apparel tells me that these undies will shrink an average of one size in the dryer – I haven’t had any trouble with it personally, but please keep it in mind just in case.”
Apparently, those of us with plus sized arses aren’t capable of celebrating menstruation. Just as well, I tend to be more in the mood to wear sweat pants and eat chocolate during that time of the month.
May 16, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Haha, don’t judge me. I think these are hilariously wonderful. Only if worn ironically however.
May 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I am pretty sure they are not safe for irony.
May 16, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Low temperature irony only.
May 16, 2011 at 3:38 pm
I hope I’m not too late to call dibs on “Psychedelic Vagines” as a band name.
May 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm
They are an angst band – full of self-loathing.
May 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Jeebus, just go squat over a mirror and leave the rest of us alone.
May 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm
That’s directed at the seller, not at the awesome band name idea!
May 16, 2011 at 3:43 pm
…”Be aware that the patch will naturally fuzz up along the edges as you wash and wear – machine washing and drying will speed up this process.”
Just like the real thing, eh?
May 16, 2011 at 3:53 pm
We’re supposed to accept size judgment from a craftard who doesn’t even know how to applique?
May 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm
You know, I think I’m going to start wearing depictions of the body part what makes me so rad on the exterior of my clothing.
Convo me when you make a brain-shaped appliqué, honey pie.
May 16, 2011 at 4:06 pm
“I started making these psychedelic vagines when I left behind culturally induced self-loathing ” Who the fuck has time to sit around loathing their bajingos? If that is your biggest problem in life count yourself (and your nasty lady bits) lucky.
May 16, 2011 at 4:12 pm
When Vulvarians Attack: Tonight on Etsy.
If you are too dimwitted to know what is under the undies than, depending on your gender 1. you don’t deserve to own one OR 2. you don’t deserve to play with one.
And having a vagina DOES NOT make you awesome. I know many fucktards who are paking a vagina and it does not help them a bit.
May 16, 2011 at 5:50 pm
When my son was potty-training, he informed me that “we use toilet paper to wipe our penises.” I told him I do not have a penis. He got very quiet, and apparently very concerned, and then asked “Do you have a butt?” I laughed and laughed and then explained that girls and boys have different parts. That is the conversation I have been thinking about while reading this entire thread.
May 17, 2011 at 3:10 am
I am picturing buttless people. I can see why he was concerned.
May 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 8:35 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 17, 2011 at 9:40 am
I disagree heavily with Coulter, but jesus, there’s no need for the misogynistic and/or general asshole shit people say about her. Or Sarah Palin, for that matter. Isn’t it enough to disagree with them as a person?
May 18, 2011 at 12:31 pm
You’d think so. It’s one thing to say, “I don’t like Ann Coulter/Sarah Palin/Conservative Voice X because of these stated, rational reasons.” It’s quite another thing when I read, “Sara Palin is stupid, stupid head and I don’t know why ppl liek her cuz shes dum.” When that’s your argument, I just tune you out and assume your POV is irrelevant and you just parrot whatever you read/hear from your media outlet(s) of choice.
May 17, 2011 at 11:18 am
Me too. I’ll hang out here with you in the thumbs-down timeout corner.
May 16, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Now, I think everyone is missing a really good idea hidden in this. Rather than tatty, tacky fabric scraps – what about a pair of panties (with a reasonable range of sizes for us gals with larger asses) with a damned diagram of the vagina printed on the front?
Hell, make it a t-shirt and panties combo and give the fellas a quest map. “You must travel from the mountains of Aureola through the dark forest of Pubis Mons to locate the secret Cave of Clitoris where the treasure is hidden! Bonus XP if you do the dungeon crawl and discover the G-spot of Happiness”.
May 16, 2011 at 6:56 pm
And by fellas, I of course intended to say “adventurer” as we understand that many sexes enjoy a good quest
May 17, 2011 at 9:36 am
Zazzle store? I would buy panties screenprinted with an anatomical diagram of the vulva.
May 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm
I’m one of those fat asses that must still have self loathing. And my pussy doesn’t have magic powers, eathier, I guess. My breasts used to. They got me free beer at college parties. I sometimes wish they still did that.
May 16, 2011 at 7:56 pm
She thinks that looks like a vagina? I’m worried.
May 17, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Now these really are calico. And poorly sewn.
May 16, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Having another vulva is just redundant. I’d rather wear these:
http://www.etsy.com/people/wangwear?ref=pr_profile
May 16, 2011 at 8:45 pm
I think what really gets me is the smug self-important tone. It’s not “I thought a vulva applique would look cute on a pair of panties”, oh no; it’s “well I let go of my whole self-loathing shackles of the patriarchy whatever whatever.” Like she’s saying “I made a scrap fabric bajingo because I’m better than the rest of you who didn’t.”
May 16, 2011 at 8:58 pm
I just bought these. Yep, it was me. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I’m going to sport the hell out of these fuckers.
May 16, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Pics please?
May 17, 2011 at 3:12 am
I don’t need a crib note on the outside of my underwear to remind me of what is inside my underwear. Really. I get a big reminder once a month.
May 17, 2011 at 8:39 am
Sorry if this topic was covered, but I went to the seller’s site. Forget the poor quality of the embellishment, it’s in size 0-2? I sent a message (and it’s only partially snark)
[TO SELLER:]I wear a size 12 panty and I find it offensive that you limit this to a tiny size 0-2. Am I not allowed to proclaim my pride? I’m just as proud of my gender and my beautiful vulva as a petite woman.
You are a hypocrite, a sizist AND you hate women! I come across people like you all the time. You preach “love yourself, we’re all wonderful womanly creatures” but the underlying message is “ONLY If you are within the parameters of what society considers normal and beautful.”
May 17, 2011 at 11:30 am
She started out with sizes S, M, and large…apparently she sold all but the 0-2 size.
I still think it only went up to size 8 though.
May 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 18, 2011 at 9:30 am
I believe you. She replied to me that she didn’t rely on Etsy for her income, that size 12 was the first one she sold (BS–American Eagle doesn’t go up that high, or if they do, it’s the equivalent of a 6), and how dare I be so rude. Not a word about how I should also be proud of myself as a woman, yada yada.
May 18, 2011 at 9:33 am
My post was directed at Crystalline888, not the pompous maroon (thank you, Bugs Bunny!) that is (clearing throat to announce the name with proper respect) ELLIOTGKNAPP.
May 19, 2011 at 7:24 am
They’re American Apparel.
May 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm
society hates our fat vulvas (vulvae??)
motherfuckers.
May 17, 2011 at 9:32 am
I like the new terms added to Regretsy-speak. Vulvaroos, Vagetti, Vulvites?
You self-loathing bitches with big asses crack me up! And so do you self-loathing bitches with little asses, and of course, the Vulva-Free crew.
May 17, 2011 at 9:32 am
I do think vaginas need better PR, as “pussy!” “Where’s your vagina!” still mean “hey, dude, you’re as weak as a girl!” Whereas “big balls” or “balls of steel” mean strength/bad-assery.
I think these underwear are horrible PR. That could probably more easily be cleared up by men respecting women as a whole than any sort of vagioriented speech. Also, less XBox Live. Or the ability to reach through XBox live and strangle these people out of society and the gene pool.
May 17, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Look, y’all! We can buy just the vulva patch and sew it to our big-girl panties!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/31900934/vulva-patch-violet?ref=v1_other_1
May 18, 2011 at 9:36 am
I’m sorry, but I refuse to wear a “vag badge” (shudder) that doesn’t show a urethra. What, the seller (“creator”) thinks it’s icky to acknowledge that we pee?
May 18, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Welllll, we certainly like ourselves don’t we?! I don’t know, with the “end times” coming up so soon and all, she may want to reconsider earning a profit on her vagoos.