Those look like they should be on the wall in an eye doctor’s office…
“This is what your vision looks like if you have myopia.”
“This is what your vision looks like if you have macular degeneration.
“This is what your vision looks like if you have cataracts.”
And worst of all…
“This is what your vision looks like if you look at the world through an unfocused camera lens. It is debilitating and may be permanent. Additional symptoms include a staggeringly strong belief in your own artistic ability despite all evidence to the contrary.”
Except, the picture of a raindrop and it really doesn’t invoke any kind of emotion and is generally looks like a shitty snapshop gone through photoshop. Blurry and Artsy are NOT THE SAME THING! >_<
Also, is that a public school? Or maybe a hospital?
Maybe this is like the Etsy version of mushrooms . . .
Stare into these for 15 minutes and your vision/mind will be altered to the point that even the hippiest, drippiest, chippiest of Etsy garbage will seem magical and inspired. I feel woozy just thinking about it.
As an artsy photographer I have about a thousand of those. I was just too lazy to delete them. Now after seeing this, I am going to delete them right now.
Ahh, undeleted crap photos. The difference here is you realize they aren’t good photos. You also aren’t trying to hawk them to morons on Etsy for $10 a pop.
Poor flat-faced kitty is almost certainly suffering from raised intercranial pressure (ie the skull is not big enough for brain due to the effects of that flat-face specially-bred deformity). Those half-moon eyes are the giveaway. Kitten would not have lasted more than a few more days and would have been in pain.
Sorry but it ain’t cute, its a fucking freak and a hideously cruel situation that good old humans have made for the sake of aesthetics. No, of course it ain’t publicised by those cunt breeders – they caused this and its in their interests to perpetuate it for as long as people squee without understanding the agony of such fucked-up anatomy.
You only posted the ones that I “messed up on!” Where are the good ones huh, you kitten eating, baby killing dream rapers. You are mean, mean, mean. I don’t have the patience to delete or to focus. All I want to do is sell my fuck-ups and you are picking on me. Boo Hoo.
“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that’s extra scary to me, because there’s a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside.”
Used in a gallery showing….USED IN A GALLERY SHOWING?!!
Please tell me this is her way of trying to make people think it is actually worth something. “Ooh it was used in a gallery showing, it must be good!” …and not actually shown in a for real art gallery.
I think it was in one of those college or high school “galleries” or, aka, “This is what our class did, please ignore the shit and look at the good stuff” and this was not one of those centerpieces.
OK, using a short depth of field to highlight unexpected parts of a scene is something I do myself, so it’s possible that it was intentional.
I don’t think it was, though. I think it was an accident. I think the camera’s autofocus locked onto the rain drops, not the distant scene, but the photographer thought it looked arty.
The water is in the middle of the picture! Anyone who has read any basic book of photography would have at least tried to put it off center.
Imagine that the tree on the left was in focus but the buildings were blurred. That might have worked.
If you are shooting for artists you put things off center so they don’t laugh and call you amateurish behind your back. If you are shooting for the non-artistic public, you put it in the center so they know where to look.
If you don’t give a crap you do whatever the hell you want.
This person needed to find more distinct, maybe bigger, droplets, and have a higher contrast background on the other side of the window, something darker so they’d show up better, if they wanted to do this on purpose.
Pictures generally look better when they aren’t cut in half by something. The rule of thirds is not arbitrary.
There are other, better ways to let the “non-artistic public” know where to look. That’s the difference between a photograph someone has actually put some thought into composing and a snapshot made by pointing the camera at something and pressing the button.
If the picture is a good one, the viewer’s eye will be drawn to the right place, whether or not it is dead center.
I was also sort of trying to say that last sentence of yours, “If the picture is a good one…”, except I stated it as “If you don’t give a crap you do whatever the hell you want.”
Because some of the best art is made not necessarily by accident, but simply when being dedicated to the art instead of the public, whether it’s the art public or the general public.
That is absolutely equivalent to doing whatever the hell you want in my mind right now.
Brain in period mode not same as brain in non-period mode.
Which is why I should probably be turning my pads into “art” instead of making comments.
I think, though, that, whatever the medium, it’s worth mastering some basic skills. Sure, there are people born with the ability to paint or sculpt or whatever, but most people benefit from learning how to use the tools. With painting or drawing, wouldn’t it help to learn about perspective?
This is especially true of photography, since it relies on technology. It’s hard to manipulate depth of field intentionally if you don’t understand how focal length and aperture size affect it.
“Imnjoyin the DrinkigTur o te Danube. Ass you caa see, th veiw outsde the widowov th hotl rom is veybu bew boo pretty. Wil rigte mor latr wen te roo stops spiningg.”
I think they captured the exciting finish of a raindrop race PERFECTLY! You can tell the drop on the left sped ahead at the last moment, when the drop on the right was distracted.
I’m at university in Vienna and this is a very good representation of what the city looked like to me this morning when I stumbled home from the party at the university of business (for business students the organizers had remarkably bad understanding of the fact that the quantity of alcohol in a drink needs to be minimized in order for the profit to be maximized. Not that I’m complaining or anything)
This would be MUCH MUCH better if accompanied by a really deep poem involving words like “angst” and “ennui”, where in the end he/she jumps off a cliff into the misty sea to shake off the burden of life.
That would make me smile.
Personally, I am thrilled to see this fine example of how to make money on Etsy — we are in need of tuition money for my son…I could do this all day….its been raining like hell in Ohio for weeks…
Oh shit, I didn’t get any good photos from out trip to vienna honey, they’re all blurry!
It’s okay sweety, I’ll sell them!
But they’re just of shitty apartment buildings!
Oh well, no one will notice…
I was at a fundraiser last night and one of the ‘pieces’ up for auction was a similarly ‘focused’ photograph of light on water…and it was by someone who has won several awards for his photography. I can only think that I’m just too unsophisticated to get it.
May 15, 2011 at 9:36 am
Those look like they should be on the wall in an eye doctor’s office…
“This is what your vision looks like if you have myopia.”
“This is what your vision looks like if you have macular degeneration.
“This is what your vision looks like if you have cataracts.”
And worst of all…
“This is what your vision looks like if you look at the world through an unfocused camera lens. It is debilitating and may be permanent. Additional symptoms include a staggeringly strong belief in your own artistic ability despite all evidence to the contrary.”
May 15, 2011 at 10:08 am
Also requires a boatload of trust on behalf of the buyer. Summer in Oslo? In Central Park? Who knows?
May 15, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I believe anything Helen says. In a boat or not.
May 15, 2011 at 10:46 am
But look how sharp that dripping water is!
May 15, 2011 at 6:52 pm
The truly amazing thing is that my RSS reader displayed an ad for laser eye surgery right under this post.
May 15, 2011 at 9:36 am
Where the hell are my damn glasses? I need them to see through the bullshit!
May 15, 2011 at 9:50 am
I’m wearing mine & it isn’t helping one iota.
May 15, 2011 at 10:43 am
try this shovel instead.
May 15, 2011 at 9:38 am
I think they thought they were being artsy :/
Except, the picture of a raindrop and it really doesn’t invoke any kind of emotion and is generally looks like a shitty snapshop gone through photoshop. Blurry and Artsy are NOT THE SAME THING! >_<
Also, is that a public school? Or maybe a hospital?
May 15, 2011 at 9:49 am
does it matter? they’re both full of sick people.
May 15, 2011 at 11:01 am
hahahaha, it’s on the inside! It’s condensation inside the hospital isolation ward…
May 15, 2011 at 9:38 am
Lens: Old Uncle Bob’s cataracts
Film: Impressionism
Flash: Off
May 15, 2011 at 9:39 am
I can understand wanting to protect your artwork, but um… bad idea!!
May 15, 2011 at 9:56 am
I think I’m safe in saying that NO ONE will want to steal this “artwork”.
May 15, 2011 at 9:42 am
Maybe this is like the Etsy version of mushrooms . . .
Stare into these for 15 minutes and your vision/mind will be altered to the point that even the hippiest, drippiest, chippiest of Etsy garbage will seem magical and inspired. I feel woozy just thinking about it.
May 15, 2011 at 10:49 am
You are feeling verrrry sleeeepy….
May 15, 2011 at 9:44 am
For $10, I could buy an old camera and have endless quantities of similar photos for myself!
May 15, 2011 at 1:45 pm
For $10, I could make a beeyootiful genuwine “Impressionist” painting of similar distinction…
May 15, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I do impressionist paintings that are clearer than that!
May 15, 2011 at 9:47 am
I see waldo, he’s towards the upper right corner
May 15, 2011 at 9:51 am
I really think you captured the colors of Iceland perfectly. And also my astigmatism. It really speaks to me.
May 15, 2011 at 9:53 am
The “Drunken Memories of Europe” Collection.
Been there, kinda seen it, done it.
Brought new meaning to taking the Grand Tour.
May 15, 2011 at 11:05 am
Been there, done that, threw up all over the T-shirt?
May 15, 2011 at 9:54 am
As an artsy photographer I have about a thousand of those. I was just too lazy to delete them. Now after seeing this, I am going to delete them right now.
May 15, 2011 at 9:57 am
Ahh, undeleted crap photos. The difference here is you realize they aren’t good photos. You also aren’t trying to hawk them to morons on Etsy for $10 a pop.
May 15, 2011 at 10:00 am
yes, I refuse to profit from my laziness. Someday I might want to rethink that!
May 15, 2011 at 9:55 am
I found lots of bee-yoo-tee-ful artwork online!
Bunny
Mushroom
<img src = "http://www.hollywoodgo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/liza-minelli.jpg".
Church on a Hill
May 15, 2011 at 10:37 am
Oh, I love this kitty:) And I’m glad you didn’t post him “in Viena” style.
May 15, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 15, 2011 at 9:31 pm
As far as I know it’s a breed called “exotic”, if they were all suffering like you are saying people wouldn’t be breeding them…
May 15, 2011 at 10:53 pm
I suppose Persian breeders are skilled in the arts of necromancy then, as Persian cats all have that face-hit-window look to them.
Persians are zombies…who knew?
May 15, 2011 at 11:19 am
You been in my Flickr account again??? Where did you get this picture of my kitchen??
May 15, 2011 at 11:45 am
phatdaddy, you too use your kitchen as a workshop? I understand you sell upcycled stuff on etsy? Or maybe instant vintage collections?
May 15, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Sorry about the Liza Minelli link fail
May 15, 2011 at 10:01 am
As a photographer, this makes me want to curse out babies.
May 15, 2011 at 10:02 am
It’s just like seeing the world through someone else’s glasses!
May 15, 2011 at 10:05 am
you mean the bottom of their beer glass right?
May 15, 2011 at 10:52 am
No, their beer goggles.
May 15, 2011 at 10:07 am
You only posted the ones that I “messed up on!” Where are the good ones huh, you kitten eating, baby killing dream rapers. You are mean, mean, mean. I don’t have the patience to delete or to focus. All I want to do is sell my fuck-ups and you are picking on me. Boo Hoo.
May 15, 2011 at 10:08 am
I always wanted a framed photo of a rain drop.
May 15, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Two from Google, one of mine. Okay, mine isn’t a raindrop, just a water drop. Top two clickable. Third linked below.
( http://29pieces.blogspot.com/2010/09/what-is-inside-your-heart.html )
May 15, 2011 at 10:09 am
Ah, so you found the truth. Most of Europe is in fact, actually a very blurry place in real life.
I would know, my dad is from Scandanavia – he goes out of focus *all* the time.
May 15, 2011 at 11:07 am
Hey yeah, that’s how we walk around all the time over here! Who can be bothered to stay in focus all the time?
May 15, 2011 at 12:42 pm
And no one notices as it’s too dark to see anything about six months of every year.
May 15, 2011 at 1:37 pm
“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that’s extra scary to me, because there’s a large out of focus monster roaming the countryside.”
May 15, 2011 at 4:52 pm
is that mitch hedburg? i’m not going to look it up, i’m just going to hope.
May 15, 2011 at 10:21 am
hmm…someone REALLY likes spring in Vienna!
May 15, 2011 at 10:25 am
Used in a gallery showing….USED IN A GALLERY SHOWING?!!
Please tell me this is her way of trying to make people think it is actually worth something. “Ooh it was used in a gallery showing, it must be good!” …and not actually shown in a for real art gallery.
May 15, 2011 at 10:33 am
I’m trying to figure out how you “use” it. I mean, how does it attach to the toilet seat?
May 15, 2011 at 10:54 am
BAHAHAHA!
May 16, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Close. They keep it on a spindle NEAR the toilet…
May 15, 2011 at 10:40 am
I think it was in one of those college or high school “galleries” or, aka, “This is what our class did, please ignore the shit and look at the good stuff” and this was not one of those centerpieces.
May 15, 2011 at 1:13 pm
Maybe it was a mistype for galley and it was on the wall of a ship somewhere.
May 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm
See, being on a ship might make these viewable… I know I’m getting vertigo trying to look at them while standing still.
May 15, 2011 at 5:57 pm
These pictures were pasted on the outside of the portholes so no one would know if they were ever washed.
May 15, 2011 at 10:28 am
Hand me my tri-focals, muthafucka!
May 15, 2011 at 10:37 am
OK, using a short depth of field to highlight unexpected parts of a scene is something I do myself, so it’s possible that it was intentional.
I don’t think it was, though. I think it was an accident. I think the camera’s autofocus locked onto the rain drops, not the distant scene, but the photographer thought it looked arty.
The water is in the middle of the picture! Anyone who has read any basic book of photography would have at least tried to put it off center.
Imagine that the tree on the left was in focus but the buildings were blurred. That might have worked.
May 15, 2011 at 11:12 am
…There’s a tree?
May 15, 2011 at 1:09 pm
There may be another, just to the right of the water. There’s something there just covering the right edge of the lower building in the foreground.
May 15, 2011 at 12:47 pm
If you are shooting for artists you put things off center so they don’t laugh and call you amateurish behind your back. If you are shooting for the non-artistic public, you put it in the center so they know where to look.
If you don’t give a crap you do whatever the hell you want.
This person needed to find more distinct, maybe bigger, droplets, and have a higher contrast background on the other side of the window, something darker so they’d show up better, if they wanted to do this on purpose.
But yeah, they probably didn’t.
I see the tree. Yeah, good call.
May 15, 2011 at 12:52 pm
The drops should also be off center to allow room for ad copy.
Is the world passing you by?
How would you know? You’re as blind as a bat!
Lasik Eye Surgery
See what you’ve been missing
May 15, 2011 at 1:07 pm
Pictures generally look better when they aren’t cut in half by something. The rule of thirds is not arbitrary.
There are other, better ways to let the “non-artistic public” know where to look. That’s the difference between a photograph someone has actually put some thought into composing and a snapshot made by pointing the camera at something and pressing the button.
If the picture is a good one, the viewer’s eye will be drawn to the right place, whether or not it is dead center.
May 15, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Nevermind.
I am a bitter and cynical BFA holding bitch, OK?
And I’m on the rag.
So this is my humor right now.
Eh.
May 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm
I was also sort of trying to say that last sentence of yours, “If the picture is a good one…”, except I stated it as “If you don’t give a crap you do whatever the hell you want.”
Because some of the best art is made not necessarily by accident, but simply when being dedicated to the art instead of the public, whether it’s the art public or the general public.
That is absolutely equivalent to doing whatever the hell you want in my mind right now.
Brain in period mode not same as brain in non-period mode.
Which is why I should probably be turning my pads into “art” instead of making comments.
YMMV.
May 16, 2011 at 6:56 am
I know what you’re saying.
I think, though, that, whatever the medium, it’s worth mastering some basic skills. Sure, there are people born with the ability to paint or sculpt or whatever, but most people benefit from learning how to use the tools. With painting or drawing, wouldn’t it help to learn about perspective?
This is especially true of photography, since it relies on technology. It’s hard to manipulate depth of field intentionally if you don’t understand how focal length and aperture size affect it.
May 15, 2011 at 10:48 am
“Imnjoyin the DrinkigTur o te Danube. Ass you caa see, th veiw outsde the widowov th hotl rom is veybu bew boo pretty. Wil rigte mor latr wen te roo stops spiningg.”
May 15, 2011 at 11:10 am
veybu bew boo pretty.. haha I love it! I’m wanting multiple thumbs up right now.
May 15, 2011 at 10:51 am
That pic makes me blink incessantly! I am getting a headache!!
May 15, 2011 at 1:47 pm
While I was trying to read the words, my eyes kept trying to bring the picture into focus. Now I’m back to feeling nauseated.
May 15, 2011 at 10:54 am
Someone REALLY likes autofocus…
May 15, 2011 at 11:04 am
This is basically how I see the world without my glasses or my glasses lenses repeated touch my lashes/lids.
May 15, 2011 at 11:11 am
I stick my fingers in my eyeballs every morning to AVOID this
May 15, 2011 at 11:16 am
I know this is crazy but I pretty much always try to avoid taking crappy, blurry photos.
May 15, 2011 at 11:23 am
I think they captured the exciting finish of a raindrop race PERFECTLY! You can tell the drop on the left sped ahead at the last moment, when the drop on the right was distracted.
May 15, 2011 at 12:14 pm
What I want to know? What was the original price?
May 15, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I’m at university in Vienna and this is a very good representation of what the city looked like to me this morning when I stumbled home from the party at the university of business (for business students the organizers had remarkably bad understanding of the fact that the quantity of alcohol in a drink needs to be minimized in order for the profit to be maximized. Not that I’m complaining or anything)
May 15, 2011 at 12:55 pm
This would be MUCH MUCH better if accompanied by a really deep poem involving words like “angst” and “ennui”, where in the end he/she jumps off a cliff into the misty sea to shake off the burden of life.
That would make me smile.
May 15, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Personally, I am thrilled to see this fine example of how to make money on Etsy — we are in need of tuition money for my son…I could do this all day….its been raining like hell in Ohio for weeks…
May 15, 2011 at 6:57 pm
That’s a much better picture.
May 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm
why, thank you… from the inside of my car yesterday. flies added today.
May 15, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Oh man, I LOVE Magic Eye Puzzles! Just what I’ve always wanted.
Let’s see…if I squint and tilt my head to the left, it looks like the scenic view out my window of the neighbor hood trailer park! Sweet jesus!
May 15, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Oh shit, I didn’t get any good photos from out trip to vienna honey, they’re all blurry!
It’s okay sweety, I’ll sell them!
But they’re just of shitty apartment buildings!
Oh well, no one will notice…
May 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Winter in Vienna? OMG how pleb. I thought this was winter in Peoria and was going to buy some as a decor accent for the local nursing homes.
May 15, 2011 at 10:42 pm
I was at a fundraiser last night and one of the ‘pieces’ up for auction was a similarly ‘focused’ photograph of light on water…and it was by someone who has won several awards for his photography. I can only think that I’m just too unsophisticated to get it.
May 16, 2011 at 11:21 am
Are you people blind?! These pics are beautiful! They remind me of my favorite pic of the royal wedding. Isn’t the detail on her dress amazing?
That little girl looks sooo happy to be there!
May 16, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Such a “modern” photograph…
May 17, 2011 at 12:01 pm
It looks like someone forgot to take their Claritin D