Porno soap and the seller even names it “Vanilla Blast” which is my new favorite phras with apologies to Hawaiin Punch:
“hey! You wanna nice juicy vanilla blast!”
It makes me picture the seller singing “I touch myself” to her soap creations. I really, REALLY don’t like that image and am now afraid to wash the image away. :/
The quotation marks around “icing” are really making me wonder if this is the kind of soap that gives you a lot of explaining to do when you give birth to a glycerin baby.
Then again, it’s a fine way to ensure that no overnight visitors to your home will use your personal bar of soap. Next time maybe she can just embed some glycerin “hairs” on it.
Agreed. My mom always said vanilla was something you eat, not something you cover yourself in, and now that I’m an adult and my nose doesn’t just want anything “sweet” I definitely see her point.
I have been looking on Etsy for this seller. Since I have already gotten annoyed with all the not-what-I-am-looking-for soaps I am weeding through…. any chance for a link to your friends shop?
One of the few things I’ve truly learned in this short life is to never, EVER buy, use, or ESPECIALLY consume something that puts icing in quotation marks.
Shit, now I have visions of the Goatse bear claw/fritter pic HK posted a while back. I also feel dirty for using the words goatse and bear claw together. I better grab some cum soaked soap and jump in the shower.
Wow regretsy you’re killing me with your creativity on this post. I am overwhelmed with whimsuckliness. Everything drizzled with something white makes me think about large hairy men masturbating themselves too! Soap, pastries, suave lotion, milk, glasses of milk, balled up used white kleenex… everything like bubba just rubbed one out. Hey look, a cloud in the sky, jack just jilled!
Wow, fuckface, you’re killing me with the predictable dull roar of self-importance and outrage. What have you got against large, hairy men masturbating (Bubba moniker nothwithstanding). Sounds to me like you’re the one seeing bears jacking off in the sky, and unfurling your victim umbrella to protect your fair skin from spooge attack.
They obviously missed the Etsy Writers Workshop. Where is the story? Where is the coleslaw and zydeco reference? Where is the feeling? You will cum back, time after time, use after use??
I keep reading it as: use (standard verb form. “Yooz”) after use (you-ss).
And then I think of Xhibit. (Yo dawg. I heard you REALLY like vanilla soap, so we roped on your soap so you can soap while you rope, and use after use.)
Can’t speak for other people’s momoliths, only mine, but I don’t think they’re a “uniboob” if they hang in different directions and significant trusses are required to haul them back together.
That sucks balls, but there is now such a thing as Rainforest Alliance palm oil which is guaranteed to kill 20% fewer orangutans per litre than regular palm oil!
So I am admittedly not crafty, but if you’re going to put “icing” on something, shouldn’t you make that thing look like something that would HAVE icing? THAT, my friends, is what makes this look like the result of a circle jerk.
Damn it, you beat me to the jizz soap, so I had to buy something else. Man, I hope this seller has a good sense of humor; if she does, I can see her selling out completely – her stuff looks great!
I was drooling over her sugar scrub cubes and her cake batter soap too. I added her as a favorite seller so I’d remember to come back when my current soap is running out.
Yeah, I got sucked in by the sugar scrub cubes, too. Geesh, for $15.95, I kind of wish they DID look like poo, so my husband wouldn’t be tempted to use them. It’s a sad commentary on your life when you find yourself compelled to hide soap so the menfolk don’t use it as really expensive nut-scrub.
That reminds me of the time I was making fun of my husband doing a whole David Attenborough voice over for Wild Kingdom, all about how the great silverback gorilla primps and grooms for his mate….
Looks like Regretsy just got this seller a lot of new business. I just bought some of the sugar cubes, too, and also some of her whipped soap. I have high hopes for this.
My gal will sometimes use MASSIVE amounts of my REALLY expensive conditioner in her hair (I have long hair, and she has short.) She’s welcome to use it, of course, but I totally get why you don’t wanna give up a nice bar of soap as a scrotum-sander.
Ha ha is funny because it is supposed to look like icing but it looks like semen and that implies that someone because excited about the product to the point of sexual release ha ha!
This reminds me of when I was working in a coffee shop and a customer was browsing our flavors and asked, “How’s the Vanilla…” and I interupted “Nut creme! It’s delicious!” And then was bright red for some time.
In Japan, they would just call this, “Happy Sparkle Bukkake Soaps”. It would be packaged with a small Hello Kitty type cartoon character on the front, and sold in vending machines on the street.
Thanks to “post something terrible” we have already learned that Regretsy pees in the shower, so I guess we should blame this on Regrtsy too? At least it is a lot more fun than peeing.
I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantalope
I figured you could eat a little and then play with your cock n balls
I’m just gonna eat,Mom.
Ok.
Slow down Jimmy,you’re gonna choke.
I’m hungry!
Put down your sandwich and play with your cock n balls
Pace yourself.
Well, a bit really….there’s video for it too. He’s an old-lady lookin’ mom who keeps trying to get her kids to masturbate over pb&j and swimming with friends. So people….
Soap that looks or smells edible just PISSES ME OFF because it looks/smells delicious and I can’t eat it. Why would I want something tasty-smelling that I can’t eat? It’s just cruel! ;_;
I’m pretty sure that this can turn out to be a case of if the seller is a good sport, they will make a lot of sales from the regretsy exposure. There are several soaps in this shop I would like to have.
Honestly, it just looks like frosting to me. Some of the items in this sort of category only look that way to dirty minds. :/ I mean, haven’t you seen icing on a pastry before?
There’s “looks like icing” and there’s…. “someone really likes”. This is really not in the first category.
At best, it looks like someone doesn’t know how to make icing look at all appetizing or attractive. Various key words involved in the description don’t help at all.
We should ask “can you make these pendants with ANY bodily fluid or does it have to be breast milk?” Because really, whether you’re wearing breast milk or “man-milk” around your neck, it’s kinda creepy either way.
May 9, 2011 at 9:32 am
It is in fact edible, though a little salty…
May 9, 2011 at 11:54 am
Has that great salty sour milk taste…
May 9, 2011 at 12:01 pm
If your significant other drinks a LOT of Diet Coke, it tastes like Diet Coke. Not that I like, know that or anything.
May 9, 2011 at 1:53 pm
If your s/o drinks a LOT of Dr. Pepper, it does not taste like Dr. Pepper. <_< At all. Maybe Coke is magical.
May 9, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Dr. Pepper makes it taste worse IMO
May 9, 2011 at 8:21 pm
For special occasions I make him drink the Jones Soda holiday collection (Turkey & Gravy, Sweet Potatoes, etc.) Quite festive!
May 9, 2011 at 8:22 pm
(ps – still val, but needed a more regretsy-ish username…)
May 9, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I guess I should tell my husband to eat more chocolate ice cream, then.
May 9, 2011 at 3:54 pm
salty milk and coins…
May 10, 2011 at 9:52 am
Porno soap and the seller even names it “Vanilla Blast” which is my new favorite phras with apologies to Hawaiin Punch:
“hey! You wanna nice juicy vanilla blast!”
May 9, 2011 at 9:33 am
Who in their right mind would think that the jizz look would totally make their soap look better? People are so weird.
May 9, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Well I can say it gives me the immediate urge to wash that soap away. I guess maybe that’s the selling point? I hope, I really really hope.
May 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm
It makes me picture the seller singing “I touch myself” to her soap creations. I really, REALLY don’t like that image and am now afraid to wash the image away. :/
Guess I’ll drink it away!
May 9, 2011 at 9:33 am
The quotation marks around “icing” are really making me wonder if this is the kind of soap that gives you a lot of explaining to do when you give birth to a glycerin baby.
May 9, 2011 at 9:35 am
Then again, it’s a fine way to ensure that no overnight visitors to your home will use your personal bar of soap. Next time maybe she can just embed some glycerin “hairs” on it.
May 9, 2011 at 9:33 am
I really, really wish that was a brownie. I’m starving now. Great.
May 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
oh man, that sounds so good right now… wtf, it’s not even 10am, why do i want a brownie?
May 9, 2011 at 10:04 am
wake ‘n bake?
May 9, 2011 at 10:16 am
Let’s see…I’ll just put this…here:
May 9, 2011 at 10:47 am
Hahaa, and the one on the left is even holding a sausage.
Where did this picture come from? Inquiring minds want to know!
May 9, 2011 at 10:49 am
I don’t remember where it came from. I just did an image search with “breakfast icing” and it…came up.
May 9, 2011 at 10:52 am
An image search with “Tab Hunter Roddy McDowell” will bring up quite a few hits, too.
May 9, 2011 at 11:58 am
My, that’s a small sausage.
(add marine-related joke of your choice here)
May 9, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Breakfast Icing…..wait’ll I tell the wife what morning sex is for!!!!
May 9, 2011 at 9:33 am
My exes were always telling me that stuff was good for my skin.
May 9, 2011 at 9:35 am
Better than my Husband telling me it’ll cure my sore throat!
May 9, 2011 at 11:33 am
Wait, did he know that from personal experience?
May 9, 2011 at 11:36 am
Ugh – I thought my husband was the only one who touted the benefits of the antibiotic effect of semen….
May 9, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Say AAAAAHHHHH!
May 10, 2011 at 11:42 am
I’ve always heard it was pure protein… good for after a vigorous workout.
May 9, 2011 at 9:36 am
What I’m missing the point of is making other people smell edible. I’m waiting for the Mushroom Roast Beef and Gravy soap bars to hit Etsy.
May 9, 2011 at 9:48 am
Agreed. My mom always said vanilla was something you eat, not something you cover yourself in, and now that I’m an adult and my nose doesn’t just want anything “sweet” I definitely see her point.
May 9, 2011 at 10:34 am
Not just that, but for a while saying that a woman (particularly a wife/mom) smelled of vanilla was code for saying that she was an alcoholic.
May 9, 2011 at 10:00 am
I’m sure Bacon is already there. Bacon, PBR and B.O. Soap — When you absolutely, positively have to smell like a hipster!
May 9, 2011 at 11:43 am
Our very own tittie milk soap lady makes this:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/70928198/vegan-bacon-cold-process-soap
May 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Now I gottsa ask, how the hell do you make Vegan Bacon? That’s like an abomination unto the Gods!
It looks good though!
May 9, 2011 at 8:02 pm
@ImNotSteamPunk: Bacon Salt (created right here in my own state of Washington) is Kosher! Explain that one…
May 9, 2011 at 10:10 am
this one comes close……(a friend of mine!!)
May 9, 2011 at 10:33 am
Wow, these are soap? Very nice. Are they scented to match? Which brings up several questions about the eggs.
May 9, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Damn, those are SOAP? That looks like some of my kids’ play food stuff. That’s awesome!
May 9, 2011 at 2:14 pm
I just ordered this seller’s “sushi” soap.
May 9, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Who is the seller of these fantabulous creations?
May 9, 2011 at 9:45 pm
I have been looking on Etsy for this seller. Since I have already gotten annoyed with all the not-what-I-am-looking-for soaps I am weeding through…. any chance for a link to your friends shop?
May 10, 2011 at 12:04 am
I searched for “bacon soap” and ta-dah
http://www.etsy.com/shop/DirtyAssSoaps
May 10, 2011 at 11:04 am
I would totally by these soaps, but I already have problems with the boy eating rocks.
Seriously, rocks?
May 9, 2011 at 12:19 pm
I can never figure out why people would want to smell like something edible either, are they trying to tempt me into cannibalism?
May 9, 2011 at 8:52 pm
I hate bath products and perfumes that smell like food. They make me hungry non-stop.
May 9, 2011 at 9:43 am
My husband jokingly tells me that too. But then he also tells me he could put an eye out with that thing.
May 10, 2011 at 9:55 am
Regretsy enjoys vintage1950′s gay porn!
May 9, 2011 at 9:34 am
One of the few things I’ve truly learned in this short life is to never, EVER buy, use, or ESPECIALLY consume something that puts icing in quotation marks.
May 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
Husband says or “tartar sauce”.
May 9, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Or “mayo” for that matter.
May 9, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Ever wonder what that “special sauce” was in the two all beef patties with the lettuce, cheese and pickles on a sesame seed bun?
May 9, 2011 at 9:49 pm
Thousand Island.
May 9, 2011 at 9:35 am
Did you know that it was made with real vanilla bean?
May 9, 2011 at 9:42 am
I can see nothing in that description to indicate that vanilla beans are involved in this product. Stop lying to me.
May 9, 2011 at 9:35 am
To be renamed, “Manilla Nut Blast.”
May 9, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Holy crap, I think I just peed my pants!
May 9, 2011 at 9:35 am
I would lean towards “poor seller, so naive”, except it’s called Vanilla Almond *Blast*.
May 9, 2011 at 9:36 am
Aren’t you supposed to wash your hands with soap after, not aim at it?!
May 9, 2011 at 9:36 am
I think that these are my favorite posts.
May 9, 2011 at 9:36 am
Vanilla Almond Blast indeed!
May 9, 2011 at 9:41 am
This shit writes its self, doesn’t it?
May 9, 2011 at 10:00 am
I’m just grateful that it doesn’t contain breast milk.
May 9, 2011 at 10:49 am
It’s undisclosed breast milk.
May 9, 2011 at 9:36 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 9, 2011 at 9:36 am
Icing should drizzle, not jizzle
May 9, 2011 at 11:32 am
Shit, now I have visions of the Goatse bear claw/fritter pic HK posted a while back. I also feel dirty for using the words goatse and bear claw together. I better grab some cum soaked soap and jump in the shower.
May 9, 2011 at 9:37 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 9, 2011 at 9:41 am
^already bought some
May 9, 2011 at 9:43 am
Suave Lotion is my Menudo cover band.
May 9, 2011 at 9:45 am
Uhoh – butthurt. Not getting any, or has your jizz drizzled art been featured here?
May 9, 2011 at 9:53 am
Because jizz is ALWAYS funny, asshat. ALWAYS.
May 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
Yeah, until someone puts an eye out.
May 9, 2011 at 10:07 am
nah, still funny!
May 9, 2011 at 10:26 am
Then it’s HILARIOUS.
May 9, 2011 at 10:50 am
Unless it’s YOUR eye.
May 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm
It’s all fun and games until somebody looses an eye from jizzum.
May 9, 2011 at 8:58 pm
(when “snorkeling,” wear goggles!)
May 9, 2011 at 9:53 am
From her Etsy profile:
“My family dressed me up at a young age, piercing my ears with gold and jewels, and putting me in red velvet dresses.”
Now that’s creativity, baby.
May 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm
She took Michelle’s advice OBVIOUSLY.
May 9, 2011 at 9:54 am
Wow, fuckface, you’re killing me with the predictable dull roar of self-importance and outrage. What have you got against large, hairy men masturbating (Bubba moniker nothwithstanding). Sounds to me like you’re the one seeing bears jacking off in the sky, and unfurling your victim umbrella to protect your fair skin from spooge attack.
May 9, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I’d just like to point out the awesomeness of the phrase “bears jacking off in the sky.”
May 9, 2011 at 1:46 pm
And “spooge attack”
May 9, 2011 at 5:37 pm
“Bears jacking off in the sky” is CB radio trucker slang for the police, right?
May 9, 2011 at 9:58 am
PS HK never said anything about jizz or hairy men…that’s you and the rest of the sicko’s here
May 9, 2011 at 10:52 am
Why does it have to be “large, hairy men”? Don’t the small, bald men get to like glycerin soap, too?
Awfully specific jizz-related mental image for someone who’s so superior to anyone who dares make a masturbation joke.
May 9, 2011 at 11:51 am
Because every time you masturbate,
God kills a kitten.
May 9, 2011 at 12:00 pm
That’s one less kitten for HK to kick or use in a breast milk smoothie.
May 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm
And what about the twinks? Surely they deserve to love their bars of soap as much as anyone!
May 9, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I was going to say twinks, but then thought maybe I shouldn’t admit I knew what a twink was.
…Crap.
May 9, 2011 at 9:59 am
They don’t have to be large or hairy, just masturbating men….monkeys will do in a pinch.
May 9, 2011 at 10:21 am
Monkeys would be a more creative touch, after all.
May 9, 2011 at 10:53 am
Apparently somebody’s in need of having her cake ‘frosted’…
May 9, 2011 at 12:29 pm
No no, Nola. It’s #postsomethingterrible” You exceeded 140 characters and forgot the hashmark!
May 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm
@Regretsy promised to drizzle me, then left me high and dry #postsomethingterrible
There Nolacake, fixed it for you!
May 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm
@Regretsy makes me think about large hairy men masturbating themselves.
May 9, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Does it count as masturbating if they’re doing if to someone else?
May 9, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Erm…I don’t follow, Brigitte…how is that somethingterrible?
May 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 10, 2011 at 5:55 am
woot! looks like at least 11 people love Strawberry Nolacakes stuff so much they don’t want her to be negatively reviewed!!!
Go get her stuff, guys!
May 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I’m sure the featured seller is positively heartbroken over the sales this attention brought them and appreciates your indignation.
May 9, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I felt driven to urge Nola to lighten up… here’s a little song that should do it (from SNL, my 19 year old loves to play this when we’re in the car).
http://youtu.be/4pXfHLUlZf4
May 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Wow, who jizzed on your soap?
May 9, 2011 at 3:29 pm
You got soap in her jizz!!
(if Reese’s had access to commercials on cable in the 70s)
Option for joke #2:
Come on babe why don’t we paint the soap, and all that jizz!
May 9, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Someone really likes Regretsy.
May 9, 2011 at 9:37 am
I think “entice” should have been in quotations too.
May 9, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Oh, what the hell, why not put each word in quotes? — For a really “deluxe” description experience!
May 9, 2011 at 9:38 am
It does look rather pearl-necklace-y, but I would still buy and use this soap. At least it doesn’t look like a hairball or poo, right?
May 9, 2011 at 9:42 am
I would too! It actually sounds like it smells good. If I weren’t poor I’d be all over the handmade soaps on Etsy.
May 9, 2011 at 9:44 am
I still have some soap that I bought from the breastmilk soap seller or I’d be buying this OMG RIGHT NOW.
May 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
Don’t buy that..it’s the soap equivalent of ‘hand assembled’
May 9, 2011 at 9:44 am
It looks like a poo after you use it a few times. This is like two great soaps in one!
May 9, 2011 at 9:39 am
They obviously missed the Etsy Writers Workshop. Where is the story? Where is the coleslaw and zydeco reference? Where is the feeling? You will cum back, time after time, use after use??
May 9, 2011 at 10:36 am
This is one backstory that I’d be willilng to read! Or is the “story” on video and involve a pizza delevery man?
May 9, 2011 at 11:38 am
It involves a fairy door and the UPS man.
May 9, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Mmmmm, Towel Mike. Now, with soap!
May 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Only if Towel Mike has a really slippery piece of soap. So as to not be able to hold onto the towel. Um hum!
May 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
I keep reading it as: use (standard verb form. “Yooz”) after use (you-ss).
And then I think of Xhibit. (Yo dawg. I heard you REALLY like vanilla soap, so we roped on your soap so you can soap while you rope, and use after use.)
May 9, 2011 at 9:41 am
Looks like somebody aimed their excitement right onto the momoliths from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Uncool.
May 9, 2011 at 9:43 am
Momoliths? Awww. what a nice after mother’s day thought.
May 9, 2011 at 10:52 am
I now have a new name for my large, pendulous breasts. Thank you, Regretsy readers!
May 9, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Upcycled from “uniboob!”
May 9, 2011 at 10:09 pm
I’ll go take my pills now.
May 10, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Can’t speak for other people’s momoliths, only mine, but I don’t think they’re a “uniboob” if they hang in different directions and significant trusses are required to haul them back together.
May 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I think momoliths is my new favorite word.
May 9, 2011 at 9:42 am
motherfuck, *monoliths.
May 9, 2011 at 9:54 am
no no. some mistakes occur to allow you a form of expression you hadn’t thought possible. “momoliths” is perfect.
May 9, 2011 at 10:08 am
I’m expressing a need to go to Victoria’s Secret to buy something new to hold up my Momoliths.
May 9, 2011 at 10:56 am
Preferably something soft as buttah, with “MILF” stitched across it.
May 9, 2011 at 12:00 pm
@Postmenopaws, I just did a Google search for a MILF bra, and OMG did I come across the wrongest site, oops. Not images I had in mind.
My computer is even a bit slow now, off to run the antivirus, sigh.
May 9, 2011 at 9:43 am
You guys suck. I totally just spent $7 on this bar of jizz soap. No lie. I needed soap anyway. Yeah. Totally.
May 9, 2011 at 9:44 am
Of course we do.
May 9, 2011 at 9:47 am
I’m kind of bummed this seller doesn’t offer a liquid version in a squeeze bottle.
May 9, 2011 at 10:09 am
I think you’re supposed to squeeze your own.
May 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
Wouldn’t it be more appropriate in pump form?
May 9, 2011 at 4:53 pm
We swallow too.
May 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
It’s how we know that this looks like.
May 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
… and then we spit.
on your soap.
May 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Well clearly we suck. However, judging by the soap, we don’t swallow.
May 9, 2011 at 9:44 am
It contains palm oil.
May 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
That sucks balls, but there is now such a thing as Rainforest Alliance palm oil which is guaranteed to kill 20% fewer orangutans per litre than regular palm oil!
May 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
Yes, but do the orangutans masturbate?? Or make soap?
May 9, 2011 at 9:50 am
Also, I typed that out before I got the joke.
May 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
That’s ok, we commend your eco-vigilance anyway.
May 9, 2011 at 9:46 am
So I am admittedly not crafty, but if you’re going to put “icing” on something, shouldn’t you make that thing look like something that would HAVE icing? THAT, my friends, is what makes this look like the result of a circle jerk.
May 9, 2011 at 9:51 am
Oh, hey, I wonder if Fred Durst is making soap now.
May 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
I’ll be Squeeky Clean, but Blind.
May 9, 2011 at 11:52 am
Just lather up until you need glasses.
May 9, 2011 at 9:49 am
I swear this is edible. Protein-rich, lean calories, and keeps you looking and feeling young. Kinda fucks up one’s hair, however.
May 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
Facial Soap?
May 9, 2011 at 9:52 am
Damn it, you beat me to the jizz soap, so I had to buy something else. Man, I hope this seller has a good sense of humor; if she does, I can see her selling out completely – her stuff looks great!
May 9, 2011 at 9:57 am
I was drooling over her sugar scrub cubes and her cake batter soap too. I added her as a favorite seller so I’d remember to come back when my current soap is running out.
May 9, 2011 at 10:04 am
Yeah, I got sucked in by the sugar scrub cubes, too. Geesh, for $15.95, I kind of wish they DID look like poo, so my husband wouldn’t be tempted to use them. It’s a sad commentary on your life when you find yourself compelled to hide soap so the menfolk don’t use it as really expensive nut-scrub.
May 9, 2011 at 11:43 am
OMFG, nut scrub….
That reminds me of the time I was making fun of my husband doing a whole David Attenborough voice over for Wild Kingdom, all about how the great silverback gorilla primps and grooms for his mate….
May 10, 2011 at 12:32 pm
Looks like Regretsy just got this seller a lot of new business. I just bought some of the sugar cubes, too, and also some of her whipped soap. I have high hopes for this.
May 11, 2011 at 7:21 pm
My gal will sometimes use MASSIVE amounts of my REALLY expensive conditioner in her hair (I have long hair, and she has short.) She’s welcome to use it, of course, but I totally get why you don’t wanna give up a nice bar of soap as a scrotum-sander.
May 9, 2011 at 10:26 am
Never buy soap on an empty stomach.
May 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
Sorry! I see semen and I jump on it. This is why they never let me join the Navy.
May 9, 2011 at 3:32 pm
Fire in the hole!
May 9, 2011 at 9:54 am
Looks like The Greek Seaman returns!
May 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Don’t you mean The Greek Seaman cums again?
May 9, 2011 at 9:55 am
If I had a penis, I’d make my own. $5.25 is better spent on booze.
May 9, 2011 at 11:19 am
Hi, straight guy here.
Rentals available. Will work for booze. Maybe some pizza too.
May 9, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Pics or GTFO!!!!!! Just kidding!
P.S. Pics would be great. Towel-less ones preferred!
May 9, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I can find pictures on the internet that will make you regret that request. Don’t tempt me!
May 9, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Where do you live?
May 9, 2011 at 10:01 am
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May 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
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May 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
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May 9, 2011 at 10:09 am
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May 9, 2011 at 10:10 am
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May 9, 2011 at 10:11 am
F-wad is a whole different word.
May 9, 2011 at 11:25 am
God I hate Family Guy.
May 9, 2011 at 10:03 am
That right there, is jizztastic.
May 9, 2011 at 10:05 am
I want everything in that soap shop. I can have my husband provide “icing,” if it needs it and doesn’t cum with it.
May 9, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Well their shop description is “We are a husband and wife team of soap makers!”. I think I know where the idea for the “icing” came from….
May 9, 2011 at 10:05 am
They’re a “husband and wife team” according to their website…
Wife: “Honey! This soap needs some ‘icing’!”
Husband: “Give me a few minutes! I just ‘iced’ another one and I’m fresh out of palm oil!”
May 9, 2011 at 10:21 am
This reminds me of when I was working in a coffee shop and a customer was browsing our flavors and asked, “How’s the Vanilla…” and I interupted “Nut creme! It’s delicious!” And then was bright red for some time.
May 9, 2011 at 10:27 am
In Japan, they would just call this, “Happy Sparkle Bukkake Soaps”. It would be packaged with a small Hello Kitty type cartoon character on the front, and sold in vending machines on the street.
May 9, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Japan…so liberated, and so fucked up at the same time. I just love Japan!
May 9, 2011 at 10:39 am
After looking at the soap, this is the first thing that “came” to mind
May 9, 2011 at 10:43 am
I fail.
May 9, 2011 at 10:41 am
Thanks to “post something terrible” we have already learned that Regretsy pees in the shower, so I guess we should blame this on Regrtsy too? At least it is a lot more fun than peeing.
May 9, 2011 at 10:43 am
“icing” in quotation marks, “you would swear this was edible”
- No accident here. this woman knows what she is talking about
May 9, 2011 at 10:54 am
Hey, this is better than finding random pubes stuck to the face soap.
May 9, 2011 at 9:15 pm
I’ll be someone sells Exfoliating Pube Hair soap.
May 9, 2011 at 10:12 pm
I’ll bet. There is no chance in HELL I am going to sell pube soap.
*facepalm* *headdesk* *SIGH*
Regretsy: all innuendo, all the time.
May 9, 2011 at 10:55 am
At least it would go well with Lady Gaga’s Blood and Semen scented perfume.
May 9, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I thought her perfume smells like A1 Steak Sauce….
May 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
I also want to point out (and this is extremely important) that May is National Masturbation Month:
http://www.flashnews.com/news/wfn1050523J7930.html
(around my house every month is masturbation month!)
May 9, 2011 at 11:46 am
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May 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm
WTF? No mushrooms before checking Regretsy, people!
May 9, 2011 at 1:54 pm
It’s an Adam Sandler song reference, guess it wasn’t a very popular one of his!
May 9, 2011 at 2:27 pm
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May 9, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Damn, no Adam Sandler love in the Regretsy house….yeesh, people….
May 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
Well it does help men cover the evidence of what they’re really doing in the shower.
May 9, 2011 at 12:36 pm
That’s what the shower drain and her loofa sponge are for.
May 9, 2011 at 11:01 am
This is pretty awesome.
May 9, 2011 at 11:13 am
I’ll never look at cinnamon rolls the same way again.
May 9, 2011 at 2:46 pm
D:
You killed it for me now.
May 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
Soap that looks or smells edible just PISSES ME OFF because it looks/smells delicious and I can’t eat it. Why would I want something tasty-smelling that I can’t eat? It’s just cruel! ;_;
May 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
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May 9, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Yup, that’s how you tell the sluts – they have killer skin. Like mine – oh, wait…
May 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm
Is this the new “marking my territory”?
May 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm
I hear they’re on back order. Either Barbara’s arm is tired or Steve has run dry.
May 9, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Seems that whoever made the jizzle soap must have been using this soap first:
May 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm
See, at first this seems like a good idea, but then I thnik this might lead to more of a mess than it cleans up…
May 9, 2011 at 1:42 pm
…And good for a nice game of ring toss!
May 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm
I love the instruction for what to do if it becomes stuck.
May 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm
“One size fits most men?” Tee hee.
May 9, 2011 at 12:39 pm
I’m pretty sure that this can turn out to be a case of if the seller is a good sport, they will make a lot of sales from the regretsy exposure. There are several soaps in this shop I would like to have.
May 9, 2011 at 1:20 pm
In this case we aren’t really making fun of the product, anyway. We’re just being incredibly juvenile. Because it’s fun.
May 9, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Could not agree more. Juvenile is fun. Especially since I have to be all grown up and crap here at work.
I bought some squishy sugar soap cubes!
May 9, 2011 at 10:13 pm
Hell, I’ll looking that up, and if Amazon carries it, I’m adding it to my aShop!
May 9, 2011 at 10:14 pm
I meant the wiener cleaner soap.
I apparently have not drunk enough to night. I’m missing my targets.
May 9, 2011 at 12:40 pm
This is EXACTLY how I like to find the soap in my shower…
May 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Man. Makes me miss my boyfriend. He’s away on some fieldwork.
May 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm
What next? Fake pubic hairs embedded in the soap to give it character?
May 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Why use fake?
May 9, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Agreed. Should be “all natural.”
May 10, 2011 at 10:40 am
for exfoliation purposes
May 9, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Come on Eileen’s soap
May 9, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Aww, damn! My teenage niece is named Eileen. After that song.
May 9, 2011 at 5:47 pm
…named after a song about horny young people trying to score?
May 9, 2011 at 3:36 pm
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May 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm
I have seen icing on a pastry. I’ve also seen ropes of spooge. If I had to wager, I’d say these are spooge ropes, not icing drips.
May 9, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Having a dirty mind is kind of our thing.
May 9, 2011 at 6:37 pm
good thing we have soap to …. never mind
May 9, 2011 at 6:06 pm
There’s “looks like icing” and there’s…. “someone really likes”. This is really not in the first category.
At best, it looks like someone doesn’t know how to make icing look at all appetizing or attractive. Various key words involved in the description don’t help at all.
May 9, 2011 at 4:12 pm
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May 9, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I dunno if these have been posted yet, but I had to sign up for an account just to post this.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/hollyday27?section_id=6817299
May 9, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Are you Hollyday27?
May 10, 2011 at 9:35 am
Nope. I just found these while browsing.
May 11, 2011 at 7:32 pm
We should ask “can you make these pendants with ANY bodily fluid or does it have to be breast milk?” Because really, whether you’re wearing breast milk or “man-milk” around your neck, it’s kinda creepy either way.
May 9, 2011 at 8:05 pm
This posting just makes me want to bust out “Ice, ice, baby…”
May 9, 2011 at 8:44 pm
I am hunting down etsy handmade soaps at the moment and would actually buy that soap if it was less sploogerific..
and the shipping to Australia didnt kill me!
May 10, 2011 at 8:13 am
Is it terrible that I kind of want this? XD