KFC Bag
Trackbacks are closed, but you can post a comment.
136 comments on KFC Bag
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
May 3, 2011 at 10:40 pm
With the brown stains that indicate freshness…
May 3, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Finger Lickin’ Bullshit!!!
May 3, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Hope is now given to all seedy motels that their stains too will, in years to come, be considered as authentic and finger lickin’ good.
May 3, 2011 at 10:43 pm
$20 says the seller is featured on an upcoming episode of Hoarders.
May 3, 2011 at 11:56 pm
the hoarder wouldn’t sell it, though. $50 says grandma was the hoarder, grandma is dead, and now the vultures are picking over her collected crap.
May 3, 2011 at 10:44 pm
I’ve always wondered what they did with the crap they removed from the houses on HOARDERS…
It’s PAPER !!!! recycling is boring, why throw out a torn up grease stained when you can upcycle it !!!
one man’s 50 year old trash is another man’s VINTAGE trash !!!
May 3, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Well, I was going to buy the hell out of that, but if there’s a tear then fuck it. I prefer my greasy vintage chicken bags to be in pristine condition.
May 3, 2011 at 10:47 pm
GUESS WHAT!!! I found the empty cole slaw container that went with it!
May 3, 2011 at 10:47 pm
This is like finding coins in the couch, yes? Only it’s finding the old food wrappers behind the couch, and then selling them.
May 3, 2011 at 10:49 pm
The bag doesn’t smell? Damn… I thought thirty years would make that stench vintage, but without the smell, it’s just a shitty paper sack.
May 3, 2011 at 11:11 pm
And you can’t change the size of a nonexistent smell.
May 3, 2011 at 10:49 pm
If there isn’t any chicken left in the bag, it ain’t worth the $22, sorry to say. Even the fossilized hot-glued to barnwood would fetch more.
May 3, 2011 at 10:50 pm
*fossilized remains. Christ, the derp is catching!
May 3, 2011 at 10:50 pm
I already fucked the coleslaw. So, you know, that styrofoam container is NOT included in the price.
May 3, 2011 at 10:51 pm
The Colonel would be rolling over in his 12-herbs-and-spices grave.
May 3, 2011 at 11:12 pm
A friend interviewed the Colonel shortly before he died. He had some less than country-gentleman things to say about Extra Crispy.
May 3, 2011 at 11:26 pm
I think he’d tell this Etsy seller where to shove her 10-piece meal.
May 4, 2011 at 4:40 am
So you’re saying he only liked white meat? I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.
May 3, 2011 at 10:51 pm
See that? It’s not hoarding. It’s collecting!
May 3, 2011 at 10:53 pm
Straight from my Grandma’s hoarding collection.
May 3, 2011 at 10:53 pm
I feel like the description is lacking… Where is the moving story of how the bag was born, and the how it survived in the wilds of a hoarders home, and over came the struggles of someone who wanted to recycle it? Where is the justice for the bag? Why not let the bag do the talking?
May 3, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Colonel, I’m real proud of your chicken and I gonna let you finish, but Michael Jackson was the greasiest dead white guy of all time! ALL TIME!
May 4, 2011 at 9:54 pm
That’s “Ima letchu finish,” not “I gonna let you…” Geez, get your Kanye-ese right!
May 3, 2011 at 10:55 pm
See my other listings for the matching plastic spork, and other great vintage finds from the trunk of my Grandpa Ernest’s 1971 Buick, including 3 expired Crispy Critters cereal coupons, an unpaid electric bill from 1972 and a Bazooka Joe wrapper.
May 4, 2011 at 1:49 am
Crispy Critters was my favorite cereal!!!
May 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Quantum Chicken Theory: The status of the chicken is unknown. Just like the sellers mind.
May 3, 2011 at 10:56 pm
“Finger lickin’ goes green!”
I seriously can’t believe someone is selling this for real money. I’ll fall over laughing if it sells!
May 3, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Proof even cat piss odor can fade if you ignore it long enough
May 3, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Yes, I do have this little respect for you as a buyer, as an eater, and as a person.
May 3, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Can’t decide which is worse; saving garbage for 30 years, or trying to sell it for $22.00
May 3, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 3, 2011 at 10:59 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 4, 2011 at 10:57 am
Wit, darling. Wit *is* making it funnier.
But I suppose someone has to post something inane to make all of the other comments look funnier… Job well done!
May 3, 2011 at 10:59 pm
LOOK AT ME NOW. LOOK AT ME NOW. I’M GETTIN’ PAPER.
May 3, 2011 at 11:00 pm
I can;t get past the misuse of the apostrophes.
May 3, 2011 at 11:35 pm
Oh how I want that semicolon to be ironic.
May 3, 2011 at 11:00 pm
My adventure started in a little roadside stand in 1962. I sat on the counter, stuffed with hot breasts and greasy thighs, anticipating the greatness that I knew was my destiny. I quivered with anticipation when I saw it – that soft, supple hand, slowly lowering through my cavernous opening – a large side of COLE SLAW…
May 3, 2011 at 11:00 pm
Never before have grease stains been considered “in good condition”.
And, is it made of paper?
May 3, 2011 at 11:01 pm
$22 and VINTAGE KFC bag — AND COMPLETE WITH GREASE STAINS! I can even add my own odor after I use it as a barf bag.
May 3, 2011 at 11:02 pm
You know, I think that I actually threw away a bunch of these recently, when I moved. Let’s see…$22 x what? 30 bags, maybe? = (counts fingers, finishes drink, starts over…) $660?? Well damm!
May 3, 2011 at 11:02 pm
And here I sit, looking like a moron, with all my fast food bags in the trash… That shit’s VINTAGE, son.
May 3, 2011 at 11:03 pm
I knew I shouldn’t have been throwing away my fastfood bags!
But seriously… who does this? Who… who would collect this?
May 3, 2011 at 11:03 pm
Upcycled eco-friendly tote, perfect for concealing your hooch.
May 3, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Upcycled Reusable KFC bag – No longer do you have to choose holding your chicken on the ride home or harming the environment with plastic bags.
May 3, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Oh come on they could at least attach some paperclips and rubber bands to this and call it an upcycled purse.
May 3, 2011 at 11:07 pm
The size of the smell is too small
May 3, 2011 at 11:09 pm
You’ll be the envy of the lunchroom when you show up with your sandwich packed in this beauty! Just the thing for that romantic picnic, too.
May 3, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Upchuck is onto something here – you’re guaranteed to have no one raid your lunch in the office fridge. Brilliant!
May 3, 2011 at 11:13 pm
I’m sorry, I’m just not getting a sense of the unique life history of this lovely vintage piece.
Might I suggest: “Pull up a chair and listen, y’all. Now back in the day, when I was but a young’un, Colonel Sanders still walked this earth. Now, some say he warn’t a real Colonel, but I’m a simple paper bag and don’t know none about that. All I know is, I had a purpose in life. I had the privilege of carrying an order of fried chicken for 15 minutes, until the folks who bought it got home and tossed me aside as they shoved that chicken down their craws. Don’t bother me none. It was my duty, y’see. But now I’m just a shell of what I once was. Now I wait ‘n’ wait for some kind soul to take in a tired, old, grease-scarred warrior. Could it be you?
$22 + shipping.”
May 4, 2011 at 4:49 am
I read that in Morgan Freeman’s voice, dammit all! And, to continue the theme, I’m guessing that the honey for the biscuits would be Oprah’s voice. Who would be the little biscuit? A young Haley Joel Osment? Now if only they could get Bobcat Goldthwait and Gilbert Gottfried as the twins Cole and Slaw, THAT would be the perfect cast. (Please, please hear the sarcasm in my typing!)
May 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm
No, not actors doing voice-overs!!!!! Please, stop the insanity!!!!!!!
May 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm
This is tripping me out SO fucking bad because THIS is my dinner tonight:
May 3, 2011 at 11:27 pm
When you’re finished eating, save the bag. You can sell it on Etsy in twenty years or so.
May 4, 2011 at 12:09 am
In the mean time, more KFC can be had to grow a larger future-vintage(garbage) collection(hoard).
Eat KFC once a week for the next decade and you’ll be able to retire no matter what your age is 30 years from now! Etsy is great!
May 4, 2011 at 5:10 am
OMG, I had KFC for dinner last night, too! And I’m still paying for it this morning.
May 4, 2011 at 7:42 am
I see that the Colonel now has an Astroboy ‘do
May 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 3, 2011 at 11:14 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 3, 2011 at 11:15 pm
If it doesn’t come with a side of passionate cole slaw, it’s really only worth $18.
May 3, 2011 at 11:15 pm
Roach eggs included
May 3, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Perfect for ironically toting your vegan lunch to writing seminars!
May 3, 2011 at 11:27 pm
win
May 3, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Nobody does (used) chicken (waste) like Eh-Etsy!
May 3, 2011 at 11:23 pm
“It is PAPER”
“Complete with stains”
“No odor associated with the stains”
Great! A multi-purpose description! Can also be used for already-used toilet paper.
May 3, 2011 at 11:47 pm
Darn, I really wanted to see if I could change the size of the chicken smell.
May 4, 2011 at 12:57 am
Next product in their shop: “the chicken wings I’ve thrown up during a painful episode of grease overdose”.
May 3, 2011 at 11:26 pm
This is possibly beyond horrible, but the “so tender – so tasty – finger lickin’ good” sloganry makes me feel like photoshopping b&w line art of Pedo Bear in place of young Sanders there. It’s probably a good thing I am too tired to do that.
May 3, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Making grease stains & wrinkling the bag is good enough to be considered handmade by etsy
May 3, 2011 at 11:33 pm
if there was an odor associated with the stains would it be worth more? its goddamn time to head to the Antiques Roadshow for some expert advice.
May 3, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Those stains aren’t from the chicken…
May 3, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Well, this is very obviously painstakingly handcrafted, and certainly not mass-produced in some factory with unspeakable working conditions. I’m sure it will do very well on Etsy.
May 3, 2011 at 11:40 pm
“We found it under grandma when they put her in the bag and took her to the grandma farm.”
May 3, 2011 at 11:44 pm
No odor?! Fuck that. If I’m spending $22.00, I want to huff fried chicken air!
May 3, 2011 at 11:44 pm
No rancid chicken grease odor? Well, then, fuck it.
May 3, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Convo me for vintage toilet paper with authentic stains and this one has smells too!
May 3, 2011 at 11:47 pm
It’s nice to see hoarders finally getting to share in the Etsy dream. In addition to the 22 dollars the seller also asks that you provide two empty cat food tins and a broken lampshade to fill in the space left by this bag…on second thought, they may need this someday and it’s very valuable so it is no longer for sale.
May 3, 2011 at 11:49 pm
I see a lot of potential with a merger between Hoarders and Etsy.
May 3, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Paper – that’s the suggested gift for the first anniversary, right?
May 4, 2011 at 12:11 am
The “vintage” bar keeps getting set lower and lower. It is like a big game of Vintage Limbo in etsyland. “30 year old candy bar wrapper found under grandma’s couch! Vintage, hard to find, supplies! $50!”
May 4, 2011 at 12:13 am
It is TRASH.
That I found in my REFRIGERATOR.
Don’t worry, I threw out the dead RAT I found in it.
May 4, 2011 at 12:20 am
You only think those are grease stains.
May 4, 2011 at 12:28 am
Vintage condom!
Very authentic with actual cum stains! Has one small tear…uh-oh.
May 4, 2011 at 12:40 am
Does it have a knot in it??
May 4, 2011 at 12:36 am
The new KFC diet – food already eaten.
May 4, 2011 at 12:51 am
They’re going to sell this on etsy? Why not wait until Antiques Roadshow comes to town and go for the big bucks?
May 4, 2011 at 1:10 am
vintage trash gives both vintage and trash a new meaning…
May 4, 2011 at 1:16 am
These vintage text book covers are all the rage in high schools right now. Odorless is a plus because the kids are huffing the odious bags to get a high they refer to as “obesity.” If your children insist on carrying vintage covers, make sure they are the odorless kind.
May 4, 2011 at 2:50 am
May 4, 2011 at 3:05 am
After Aunt Tillie passed away and her will was read, Eunice was astonished to find that she was now in possession of a vintage KFC Bag. She remembered how fond Aunt Tillie was of the Colonel’s secret recipe and eleven herbs and spice. Why, it was once rumored that Aunt Tillie had a fling with the Colonel when he passed through Cabbage Flats back in ’65. Eunice realized, though, that keeping the bag would be a difficult task, and was forced to put it for sale on Etsy.
May 4, 2011 at 3:37 am
I didn’t realize you had to spend $22 to get a greasy sack.
May 4, 2011 at 5:29 am
I’m told that’s what you pay for the 1pm Male Revue at Scores.
May 4, 2011 at 4:05 am
Now I hate the word vintage…because apparently it means any old thing you dug out of the trash.
May 4, 2011 at 4:24 am
I’m going to go get me some fast food from every chain. In 20 years I’ll be able to sell a matched set for 10x this not counting inflation and the fact that our mode of currency will be voided in favour of coleslaw.
May 4, 2011 at 5:12 am
“Old Bag”
(Mixing up some vintage slogans) “You Deserve A Bag Today”
May 4, 2011 at 12:24 pm
“Have a Bag and a Smile!”
May 4, 2011 at 5:21 am
It is PAPER. Thank you Jesus, ’cause if I found out that thing was coal I’d be all up in your shit.
May 4, 2011 at 5:40 am
Well, I’m glad she made sure to tell us that it’s paper and not one of those horrible vintage celluloid drive-thru bags.
May 4, 2011 at 5:46 am
“After I heard from my parents that my Grandmother had upcycled herself to the Great Beyond, I climbed into my vintage, steampunk hybrid and drove over to see if I could find some creamy, yummy handmade goods to share with all my Etsy friends. After opening the door, I was crushed by 50 years of
hoardedlovingly collected possesions. After spending the next two days trying to free myself from the rubble, I came out with this vintage KFC bag, with only a slight tear!”There, Etsy Writing Shop helped me fix it for you!
May 4, 2011 at 5:52 am
“Shit I found in the trash-car left to me by my dead uncle. $22.00 USD”
May 4, 2011 at 5:58 am
When a hoarder decides to sell shit -_-
May 4, 2011 at 6:19 am
Authentic Bullshit!!
May 4, 2011 at 6:28 am
Finally, hipsters are able to enjoy KFC without loosing their cool.
May 4, 2011 at 6:35 am
I am so glad she clarified it was PAPER, i wouldn’t have noticed myself.
May 4, 2011 at 6:39 am
This is what happens when you only clean out your car every 30-40 years.
May 4, 2011 at 6:39 am
when I was a teenager my first job was at a KFC. that was 15 years ago. I STILL have a shirt that smells like a KFC, despite 25 years of repeated washings, fabreeze attempts, sachet-ings of various description, and time spent as a painting shirt around turps and grumtine (orange oil based paint thinner, and home of the smell that kills all smells).
I think this person might do better selling a PDF explaining how they got the chicken grease stank off the bag.
May 4, 2011 at 6:40 am
that should say 25* years ago* …. need more coffee…
May 4, 2011 at 6:54 am
I’m sure that Michelle of the Etsy Writers Workshop would be disappointed that it doesn’t come with a vintage coleslaw container.
May 4, 2011 at 6:56 am
You had the same thought as me one minute sooner.
May 4, 2011 at 6:55 am
Too bad there’s no vintage coleslaw left.
May 4, 2011 at 7:09 am
Oh, well, if it doesn’t have that authentic ChiknStank then I’m passing on it, but I would pay upwards of my first born child for one that did sill smell like roaches and hot grease.
May 4, 2011 at 7:24 am
If I wanted to preserve a greasy old bag, I’d have myself stuffed.
May 4, 2011 at 7:28 am
Proof that one person’s trash is someone’s Tr…
…ash
May 4, 2011 at 8:23 am
So Tender
So Tasty
So Whimsicle
May 4, 2011 at 8:40 am
Only hardcore bag collectors (or baggers, as they sometimes call themselves) remember this, but K.F.C. did briefly experiment with other bag materials during the early 70s – everything from polyester to formica to canvas to zydeco. These rare low-run bags are highly prized, particularly in their grease-and-coleslaw-stained “mint” condition. This seller obviously saw some of these being auctioned off on eBay and tried to cash in with a normal bag, what a pity.
May 4, 2011 at 8:46 am
This will go great with my collection of 60s and 70s used condoms, broken bottles, and warped Captain & Tennille records. Ah, nights with the Colonel…
May 4, 2011 at 8:51 am
Now I know what to do with my White Castle boxes! Woohoo!
May 4, 2011 at 9:24 am
You see, I collect smells. I bought this off of ebay hoping it would smell rancid, but it doesn’t.
May 4, 2011 at 10:24 am
I think I will take my $22 and buy myself a bucket of chicken WITH the smell still on it, thank you very much.
May 4, 2011 at 10:42 am
How high do you have to be to see an old, greasy takeout bag and say, “Hey! I could make a lot of money with this!”?
May 4, 2011 at 10:57 am
I feel like I should send a request for a collaboration with this seller. My parents have all kinds of vintage cow crap in the back 40. I really think what this seller could use is a reason for her customers to light bag-o-crap on fire and leave it on a doorstep. Or a stoop in Etsy’s case maybe. AND if I look hard enough, I bet I can find a steampunk octopus shaped turd from when pops switch the feed and it gave all the cows the shits.
May 4, 2011 at 11:36 am
When will people learn that opening something like this SERIOUSLY decreases it’s value as a collectible?
May 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm
No smell? Then how do I know the stains are actually from Kentucky Fried Chicken, and not from Jim Bob’s fried fish?
May 4, 2011 at 12:19 pm
$20? I’ll give you $40 because I’m all about the Double Down!
May 4, 2011 at 12:51 pm
my 30 year-old trash doesn’t stink…darn!!!
May 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Paper or plastic? Paper and don’t put anything in it. I wanna double my profits on these sacks.
May 4, 2011 at 1:49 pm
Back when the colonel was still Hitler’s home boy.
May 4, 2011 at 2:28 pm
See, this is the sort of horrible thing that occurs everyday around this country, and all of it the fault of those damned billboard cows encouraging people to “Eet mor Chikin”.
You can’t trust cows, they’re plotting against us.
May 4, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Sorry, I only collect discarded vintage fast food trash if it smells like it was just thrown away. Increase the size of the smell and we’ll talk.
May 4, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Not sure of the place this is from. I’m guessing the floor of your car under some empty Mountain Dew bottles and a copy of “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell”
May 4, 2011 at 6:55 pm
It is PAPER. Just in case you thought it was useful.
May 4, 2011 at 7:59 pm
If you look carefully, the grease stain by the colonel’s eye looks like a tear.
May 4, 2011 at 8:37 pm
A work of art is something which is unlike anything else. It is art which, best of all, gives us the idea of what it particular.
…It is due to feeling alone that a thing becomes freed from abstraction and becomes something individual and concrete.
…contrary to what is commonly believed, the contemplation of particular things is what elevates man, and distinguishes him from animals (Simone Weil).
May 4, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Think of the elevation; you want that, right?
May 4, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Vintage Trash? How appropriate for Etsy.
May 4, 2011 at 10:58 pm
When Tracy finally decided to dispose of her aborted fetus collection, she thought it would be wasteful to not try to sell the bag that had held them so well for forty years.
May 5, 2011 at 6:41 am
*Comes with free pet pathogenic bacterial population!