All week long, Kathie Lee and Hoda Kotb have been hosting a contest on the Today Show, featuring “green” crafts on Etsy.

And because the rest of the world is not under the same restraints imposed by the Cupcake Elves of Happytown, the hosts of the Today show don’t have to praise everything that comes squirting out of the Etsy colon.

Apparently, Hoda and Kathie Lee thought that a $460 messenger bag on Etsy was a little steep, particularly since you have to provide your own materials.

Welcome to the real world, crafter! Beyond the gates of Etsyland lies a teeming burg called TRUTHTOWN, and you just got a day pass.

Needless to say, the reaction in the barnyard was predictable. All the hens came-a-clucking, puffing up their breasts and voicing their displeasure. Can a boycott be far behind? HODA PHONE!

But among the tear stained posts and above the din of tiny feet stamping, a familiar melody began to emerge:

Yes, you can call someone a “skank” for being rude. You can publicly post that someone is drunk on the job if you don’t like their comments. You can make fun of someone’s age and looks if they laugh at a skirt you didn’t even make. You can say anything you want in the Etsy forums, because crafting is considered protected speech.

Just don’t do this,

Because… well you know the rest.

- Entire clusterfuck here, if you have the energy

Oh, I think we’re all paying a lot of attention to the fit.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (BUSINESS WIRE) – Papa John’s has commissioned a portrait pizza of Prince William and Kate Middleton to celebrate their marriage.

Kate’s veil is made from mushrooms and her dress from cheese, while William’s morning suit consists of salami and peppers.

“Like our original crust pizza, our royal portrait is made from 100 percent fresh dough and quality ingredients, so it tastes as good as it looks,” said Andrew Varga, Papa John’s chief marketing officer.

- Why isn’t this your wallpaper?