really? i have about 30 pounds of REAL horse shit.. you can hot glue the road apples to the canvas if you still want to hang it. you can also change the size of the smell.. just adjust the room temperature.
I think it’s the part where he’s snuck into her room and she wakes up to find him there and he says he just wanted to watch her sleep and she says, “Oh, that’s okay.”
Sorry, but I drew better horses when I was 8 years old… sorry now I didn’t save them to sell on Etsy with peoples’ desired captions… I could be rich by now!
This has been my favorite for a long time. It actually resembles a lot of nonsense paintings I did in high school. Things like WAR with a picture of a little baby chick underneath it and shit like that.
Hey, you’re cool. I made an assumption based on the original post. I just wanted to check through Google (because Google knows all) just as you did. I’m glad you had the same problems I did. Shows I’m not a complete numbskull.
I think, or at least hope, that that Twilight book is ‘shopped. It kind of looks like it, but HK has too much skill at shoppery for me to know for sure.
My 12yo niece read Twilight.
When she finished it, she called me up and said (and I quote), “What is this shit? Vampires don’t sparkle in the sun! They are supposed to BUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!”
My 12yo niece read Twilight.
She said she thought it was kinda stupid and totally weird. But she’s also read the 2nd & 3rd books in the series. So I’m slightly concerned about her.
(The 4th book? Apparently my sister/her mother has heard it’s off-the-wall strange, so she won’t let her read it. I say go for it. It pretty much shows the trouble you get into for acting like Bella/an idiot.)
I don’t think I can express enough love for this! And your 12 year olds rock. I am getting so sick and tired of parents buying this series for their kids because it teaches “good morals,” excuse me what morals?? Apparently waiting for marriage after sex is enough to redeem abusive relationships, demented obsession and a crippling lack of self worth…
This reminds me of a poster my parents had on the wall in the 1980′s…it was a cute kitten, and over its head was “OH SHIT” in huge white letters. I’d get smacked if I read what it said.
If we’re referencing authors, here’s a little Heinlein:
Of course, the [Etsy] definition of value is ridiculous. All the work one cares to add will not turn a mud pie into an apple tart; it remains a mud pie, value zero. By corollary, unskillful work can easily subtract value; an untalented cook can turn wholesome dough and fresh green apples, valuable already, into an inedible mess, value zero. Conversely, a great chef can fashion of those same materials a confection of greater value than a commonplace apple tart, with no more effort than an ordinary cook uses to prepare an ordinary sweet.
—Jean V. Dubois, Lt.-Col., M.I., rtd.
I’ve always needed a translator for Heinlein. But in this case, I think I’ve got it:
Alton Brown can take dough and apples and create a masterpiece of a tart with the addition of only three impossible-to-find ingredients. Rachael Ray could make a decent apple tart in just 30 minutes (actual time is longer). And Sandra Lee would use a pre-made pie crust with pre-sliced apples and some corn nuts to make a super super simple Kwanzaa tart that looks and tastes like what a horse might say as a young man.
I know. It seems to have happened to several SF/fantasy writers whose earlier works I liked. They turn 50 and all of a sudden they have no time for the plot and characters because they’re too busy with the squick. The fuck, guys? You were supposed to get through that phase in your 20s!
The redux of the SHIT horse is letting me revisit a very, very important cultural moment in American history. YOU were there PEOPLE! When all the dumb-asses who went to Woodstock are dead you are going to be able to say you saw the SHIT horse in it’s own time, before everyone knew it was cool
Please take a look at the sold items! Since Dec 2009 the print of this “Young Man” was the only thing the seller kept successfully selling! Goes to show how good regretsy promotion is!
April 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Just what I always wanted to hang in my family room – Horse Shit!
April 30, 2011 at 6:50 pm
really? i have about 30 pounds of REAL horse shit.. you can hot glue the road apples to the canvas if you still want to hang it. you can also change the size of the smell.. just adjust the room temperature.
May 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm
When’s a good time to pick up this treasure?
April 30, 2011 at 4:33 pm
That’s what she said…
when she saw the price.
April 30, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Shouldn’t that book be titled SHIT?
April 30, 2011 at 9:22 pm
I think the horse is referring to the book. I agree. It’s shit.
May 1, 2011 at 3:10 pm
I couldn’t believe reading that book to children! WTF?
May 2, 2011 at 2:03 am
I believe the book is ‘shopped. I sincerely hope so anyway, for that sake of humanity….
April 30, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Say What?
April 30, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I agree. However, if even the “artist” thinks that it is shit, why ask $130?
April 30, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Probably because they’re pretty sure they can rip someone off
May 1, 2011 at 11:47 am
Because someone will pay it! Well someone did pay it…
April 30, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I love the expression that all the kids have on their faces.
April 30, 2011 at 7:31 pm
It’s the same expression I had when I tried to read those books. When I saw the movie, it was even more lax, with a small stream of drool.
April 30, 2011 at 10:22 pm
I think it’s the part where he’s snuck into her room and she wakes up to find him there and he says he just wanted to watch her sleep and she says, “Oh, that’s okay.”
Even these kids know that that’s not okay.
May 1, 2011 at 12:25 am
It’s never to early to teach your kids about paraphilias such as exhibitionism and voyeurism!
Oh, wait. Yes it is.
April 30, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Sweet! This painting made the book! This makes me disproportionately happy!
Is it suggesting materials used or Inspiration maybe?
April 30, 2011 at 4:37 pm
It’s a partial title. Should have been, “SHIT, I suck at painting!”
April 30, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Damn you April. I just hyperventilated.
April 30, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Mr. Ed it ain’t!
Sorry, but I drew better horses when I was 8 years old… sorry now I didn’t save them to sell on Etsy with peoples’ desired captions… I could be rich by now!
April 30, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I think the seller is engaged in child labor. You shouldn’t sell your child’s art projects on Etsy.
April 30, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Some teenager found a way to make some money off of the project for which he or she received an “F.”
Not like I ever got an “F” on an art project because I painted profanity on it. Nope. It was an ink sketch.
April 30, 2011 at 4:41 pm
As craptastic as the painting is…I’m more horrified that small children are being subjected to Twilight.
April 30, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Agreed.
April 30, 2011 at 5:43 pm
The looks on their faces give me hope for the future.
April 30, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Portrait of a horse as a young man? Looks mighty horsey.
April 30, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I really don’t get the description. The horse is a young man? If so, why doesn’t he look like a young man?
April 30, 2011 at 6:29 pm
“Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” is a famous novel by James Joyce. The painter was just referencing the title of the novel.
April 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm
I fear you’re giving him way too much credit
April 30, 2011 at 10:35 pm
This is exactly the type of hipster bullshit my friends and I did when I was in college.
Yes, I was a hipster before hipster was cool. Sorry.
April 30, 2011 at 6:31 pm
It looks like my mother-in-law as a young man, so I have no problem with it. As a matter of fact, that is exactly what I say whenever I see her too.
T
April 30, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Why is there a T after my comment?
April 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm
It’s commemorative wedding T
April 30, 2011 at 9:19 pm
April 30, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 30, 2011 at 4:49 pm
“what is etsy overpriced child art?” for $200 alex
April 30, 2011 at 6:20 pm
April 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Good Job, Carl!
April 30, 2011 at 4:52 pm
I gotta say, I love the subject matter. That is one straightforward horse. However, they need to re-think their profit to time invested ratio.
April 30, 2011 at 10:44 pm
I dunno. It took the artist, what, 10 minutes? Maybe 20 minutes max. And it sold for $130. Not bad.
April 30, 2011 at 4:53 pm
This has been my favorite for a long time. It actually resembles a lot of nonsense paintings I did in high school. Things like WAR with a picture of a little baby chick underneath it and shit like that.
April 30, 2011 at 7:31 pm
It’s so deep and meaningful!
April 30, 2011 at 9:19 pm
That actually sounds kinda cool.
April 30, 2011 at 4:54 pm
who knew young horses think the same thing I do when the alarm clock lets me know its time to crawl my hungover ass out of bed and go to work.
April 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm
I need to get my son to start painting. Apparently there’s a gold mine to be made in the 2-year-old’s scribblings market.
April 30, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Someone bought this one FOR THEIR NURSERY.
April 30, 2011 at 5:40 pm
At least it doesn’t say “DOUCHBAG” on it. Well, not in words, anyway.
April 30, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I think that’s moderately cute… I mean, I wouldn’t pay for it, but I would probably not burn it.
April 30, 2011 at 6:21 pm
What is it?
April 30, 2011 at 9:06 pm
It’s a hornless rhino, of course.
May 1, 2011 at 3:20 am
he ran away and joined the circus
April 30, 2011 at 6:35 pm
I would buy that for a nursery! Heckuva lot better than Disney bimbos! A kid would grow up to be one cool person looking at this!
April 30, 2011 at 7:24 pm
That scares the hell out of me. It’s just pretending not to look at me … it’s drinking my soul….
April 30, 2011 at 8:05 pm
It’s so they can teach their child that Republicans and Democrats can cohabitate the circus that is political life.
:p
April 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I want that on a t-shirt.
May 1, 2011 at 12:27 am
Brilliant. For a child who grows up looking at this, ordinary life will hold no terrors.
April 30, 2011 at 5:44 pm
A horse is a horse, of course, of course… except when it’s a piece of shit.
April 30, 2011 at 5:48 pm
The young man must have an enormous svanstukka. HE’S HUNG LIKE A HORSE!!
April 30, 2011 at 5:50 pm
New favorite word.
April 30, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I gave you a thumbs up, but I am saddened that you haven’t heard that word before.
April 30, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Perhaps he needs to meet…
Frau Blucher?
April 30, 2011 at 7:36 pm
Neiggghhhhh
April 30, 2011 at 10:51 pm
Young Frankenstein references. Awesome!
But seriously, I tried to Google svanstukka. It assumed I was trying to type swastika and showed me those results instead.
May 1, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Steampunk Octopus, I had the same experience. Though after the mention of Frau Blucher, it was no longer necessary.
May 1, 2011 at 12:47 am
so I googled svanstukka and it gave me results for swastika
May 1, 2011 at 12:49 am
and I can’t read cause I didn’t see the post above mine
May 1, 2011 at 2:54 am
Hey, you’re cool. I made an assumption based on the original post. I just wanted to check through Google (because Google knows all) just as you did. I’m glad you had the same problems I did. Shows I’m not a complete numbskull.
Although svanstukka is still a bit of an enigma.
May 1, 2011 at 4:34 am
“Roll roll roll in the hay!”
July 23, 2011 at 12:27 pm
For those trying to Google this word, spell it “schvanstuka” and it will appear.
April 30, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Actually, I think this piece, while of substandard execution, is commendable in its message.
I think James Joyce wrote a load of horseshit, too.
April 30, 2011 at 6:35 pm
It makes me very happy that somebody else recognized the reference.
April 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Same here!
I think I could probably work through a lot of childhood trauma with this artist’s help.
“Okay, here’s $100. Go read /The Great Gatsby/ and then… just paint what you feel, man, paint what you feel.”
It would be so worth it.
April 30, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Someone needs to get on making a shop where they can sell artwork that “interprets” “meaningful” novels we were forced to “read” as students.
If anyone’s read “The Magic Mountain,” please interpret that badly on a canvas. If you’ve read it, you will understand why with no explanation.
April 30, 2011 at 7:59 pm
There should be quotes around “artwork” too, because really.
April 30, 2011 at 11:00 pm
I’d like to add “The Scarlet Letter” and “A Brave New World” to this list.
I’d attempt to make the “artwork,” but I’m afraid my feelings would get in the way of the interpretation.
April 30, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Exactly my first thought–James Joyce=horseshit. Shouldn’t this be a moocow?
April 30, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I don’t know why you people are so judgmental. I’d like to see how well you could paint if you had hooves.
April 30, 2011 at 6:06 pm
Hay! what the hay!
April 30, 2011 at 6:35 pm
They have sold TEN versions of this painting! *awed*
April 30, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Coming this fall to ABC!
An updated version of Mr. Ed starring William Shatner as Wilbur!
Watch “Shit, my horse says” Wednesdays at 8 Eastern.
April 30, 2011 at 9:15 pm
I can actually hear Ed Asner in that role.
May 1, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Mr Ed Asner
April 30, 2011 at 7:20 pm
I bought the poster version of this for my daughter. She and her roommates adored it. I wonder if he’d print it as a postcard.
April 30, 2011 at 7:34 pm
This is my favoriteist thing ever on Regretsy. I love Shit Horse.
April 30, 2011 at 7:57 pm
The painting is fine – but why is the teacher reading TWILIGHT to the kids?!
April 30, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I think, or at least hope, that that Twilight book is ‘shopped. It kind of looks like it, but HK has too much skill at shoppery for me to know for sure.
April 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Yep, I think so too- the upper right corner of the book just looks odd against the jeans. Pretty awesome shoppery though, I agree.
April 30, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Because she hates them, obviously. Why else would you force anyone to listen to that sparkly crap?
April 30, 2011 at 8:16 pm
The most terrifying thing in that View it in a room is the disembodied puppet hand reaching in from the right side…
Also, my hate for Twilight, let me show you it:
April 30, 2011 at 9:14 pm
My 12yo niece read Twilight.
When she finished it, she called me up and said (and I quote), “What is this shit? Vampires don’t sparkle in the sun! They are supposed to BUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!”
sniff
I am so proud of that kid.
April 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm
I’m quite fond of the T-shirt that says
“then Buffy staked Edward. The End” myself.
Clearly, you’re shaping her little mind the right way there
April 30, 2011 at 11:07 pm
My 12yo niece read Twilight.
She said she thought it was kinda stupid and totally weird. But she’s also read the 2nd & 3rd books in the series. So I’m slightly concerned about her.
(The 4th book? Apparently my sister/her mother has heard it’s off-the-wall strange, so she won’t let her read it. I say go for it. It pretty much shows the trouble you get into for acting like Bella/an idiot.)
May 1, 2011 at 10:18 am
strange does not cover the plot of breaking dawn.
Yes, that is an accurate summary. But it still left out some crazy.
The movie version of Breaking Dawn is going to be absolutely cray-cray.
May 1, 2011 at 9:36 am
I don’t think I can express enough love for this! And your 12 year olds rock. I am getting so sick and tired of parents buying this series for their kids because it teaches “good morals,” excuse me what morals?? Apparently waiting for marriage after sex is enough to redeem abusive relationships, demented obsession and a crippling lack of self worth…
I dread the next movie release…
April 30, 2011 at 8:36 pm
This reminds me of a poster my parents had on the wall in the 1980′s…it was a cute kitten, and over its head was “OH SHIT” in huge white letters. I’d get smacked if I read what it said.
April 30, 2011 at 9:06 pm
Speaking of the 80s, maybe it’s an anti-drugs campaign poster gone typically, horribly wrong.
April 30, 2011 at 9:09 pm
The best part is clicking through a year later. The artist has sold 9 prints and the original. Good for her!
April 30, 2011 at 9:47 pm
If we’re referencing authors, here’s a little Heinlein:
Of course, the [Etsy] definition of value is ridiculous. All the work one cares to add will not turn a mud pie into an apple tart; it remains a mud pie, value zero. By corollary, unskillful work can easily subtract value; an untalented cook can turn wholesome dough and fresh green apples, valuable already, into an inedible mess, value zero. Conversely, a great chef can fashion of those same materials a confection of greater value than a commonplace apple tart, with no more effort than an ordinary cook uses to prepare an ordinary sweet.
—Jean V. Dubois, Lt.-Col., M.I., rtd.
April 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm
I’ve always needed a translator for Heinlein. But in this case, I think I’ve got it:
Alton Brown can take dough and apples and create a masterpiece of a tart with the addition of only three impossible-to-find ingredients. Rachael Ray could make a decent apple tart in just 30 minutes (actual time is longer). And Sandra Lee would use a pre-made pie crust with pre-sliced apples and some corn nuts to make a super super simple Kwanzaa tart that looks and tastes like what a horse might say as a young man.
May 1, 2011 at 4:44 am
Oh that’s a relief, for a moment I thought you were going to quote one of his horny old man polyamory rants. Heinlein sure liked beating dead horses.
May 1, 2011 at 9:22 am
I know. It seems to have happened to several SF/fantasy writers whose earlier works I liked. They turn 50 and all of a sudden they have no time for the plot and characters because they’re too busy with the squick. The fuck, guys? You were supposed to get through that phase in your 20s!
April 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm
The redux of the SHIT horse is letting me revisit a very, very important cultural moment in American history. YOU were there PEOPLE! When all the dumb-asses who went to Woodstock are dead you are going to be able to say you saw the SHIT horse in it’s own time, before everyone knew it was cool
April 30, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Is genius.
May 1, 2011 at 3:29 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 1, 2011 at 5:20 am
Ready to hang? That’s cruel! Throwing it to the trash would be a sufficient punishment.
May 1, 2011 at 6:22 am
Oh my! A tough choice, which is more offensive to the human mind the shitty horse painting saying shit or twilight?
May 1, 2011 at 8:36 am
VERY GOOD VERY GOOD NEEEIIIIGHHHH!
May 1, 2011 at 11:45 am
I’m asking myself, in fact I’m really curious, what is it that this horse sees that makes it say shit in a “say what” kind of manner?
May 1, 2011 at 11:53 am
Please take a look at the sold items! Since Dec 2009 the print of this “Young Man” was the only thing the seller kept successfully selling! Goes to show how good regretsy promotion is!
May 1, 2011 at 12:24 pm
That’s funny, the first thing I thought when I saw this listing was “horse shit.”
May 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Okay, I’ll say it…
Why the long face?
(Please take the tomatoes out of the can before throwing them. Thank you.)