I will only RSVP, if there is a commerative plate.
I’m waiting for a new store to pop up on Etsy for “wedding favor commemorative plates in the style of Wills and Kate!”
Any minute now…
I’ll only RSVP if there’s a commemorative Marine penis. Oh, and cake. I love cake.
Commerative penis plate for serving penis cake.
I had the enviably odd problem that people thought that my wedding invites were so cool that many refused to send in the matching RSVP cards. I had to promise to return all the RSVP cards with the thank you notes just to get people to send them in. ‘Cause you know what every bride wants on the run up to her wedding day? More organizing to do.
crap. that was supposed to be for #2. I have had a lot of celebratory wine tonight.
@unholyghost2003 please tell me what they were!!
I did not receive a single RSVP for my wedding. I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to go (not that I didn’t want to get married, but mother stole my wedding money and hijacked the whole thing.). Unfortunately, my hubby decided it was best we show up just in case and there ended up being 120 people there……
man that makes me mad enough for my head to explode!
People who don’t RSVP are lazy douchebags. People who RSVP and don’t show are just as bad. I had 20 people not show and had to eat wedding leftovers for a week. Worse than Thanksgiving leftovers by far…fancy food doesn’t hold up to the fridge well. I don’t agree with the whole “but it’s my special DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!” mentality, but weddings aren’t just some casual dinner party you can just drop by to or just blow off.
A friend just had his wedding, and his FAMILY was refusing to RSVP. Even worse, his one aunt (her plus one invited) RSVP’d for 10!!! She was “bringing her kids” even though they’re grown, and weren’t invited because half of them he’d never even met!!!
Been there. Writing people in on the RSVP cards is some tacky shit.
I am expecting a lot of no shows at my wedding in two weeks. My fiance’s family has some issues. One of his aunt’s gave me the WORST stink eye at my bridal shower, and I had never met the woman so I knew I had not offended her in any way! A lot of his cousins had invites sent to their parents because we couldn’t find their addresses or phone numbers nor could we get the number for the parents to call and get said addresses. I would have rather NOT invited them, but his mom would have freaked.
As for leftover food, my mom was excited to find out we get to keep the leftovers. We are having our reception at a small Italian banquet hall, and Italian food reheats well.
Ouch! Was your hand sore after smacking 121 people? (assuming Mommy Dearest wasn’t one of the people sitting there)
Nah. They were my friends all on the guest list, except mom. I actually uninvited her at one point. I guess she didn’t want to miss “her” big day, though. That was eight years ago and she still refuses to admit that she did anything wrong.
Oh well. :/
We decided we’re going to renew our vows one day and have the wedding we actually wanted.
Oh, and we’re offering to pay for our daughters’ honeymoons in full if they promise to elope! LOL
That is an excellent plan. I am putting that into my parental play-book!
I can’t believe your mom stole your wedding money. I can hardly credit it.
Seriously. You are a genius. My son is only 10 but I am keeping this idea. I think everyone should elope.
eloping is the family tradition for us… four generations of elopements.
My sister planned a big outdoor wedding overlooking the pacific, her and her hubby paid for it all, and a week before they both got suddenly terrified of saying their vows in front of a bunch of people (they are both painfully shy) and ran off to the county clerks office and turned the planned to-do into a party to celebrate instead.
She really did Fairyberryfizz. My dad offered to pay for the stuff I couldn’t afford (which was a lot!).
My parents are divorced and she beat me to his house, browbeat him into putting the check in her name, cashed it and then refused to let me have any of it!
She spent a good chunk of it on herself.
My dad told me he’d pay for a ladder. Considering my bedroom was on the first floor, it would have been a very small ladder!
I haven’t had a wedding yet, and probably never will, but eloping looks good after what my friends have gone through.
Our whole wedding (including my dress, the cake, and the tux rental) was less than $800. We got married at the courthouse with about 15 people there, and then had a chili coo koff in my friend’s backyard. It was the best wedding ever. My friends are still complaining their families were against such a plan for them, because we had so much fun, and they unanimously hated planning their own traditional weddings. And that was 15 years ago.
I love that plan though. I will pay for the kid’s honeymoon if she elopes or does what we did.
A significant percentage of my husband’s family (who were more used to having receptions in a VFW basement than an art museum) didn’t RSVP. I enjoyed calling them up and saying with all the fake cheer I could muster, ‘Hi! I’m Loremi, and I’m getting married to your nephew —- next month. I’d love to see you, but I’m afraid I haven’t received an RSVP card from you.’ The typical response was a stammer, followed by ‘Oh, I sent that in weeks ago.’ Of course, they started rolling in, all postmarked a day or two later. These were the same people who gave us a single washcloth or some other fuckery. We even had a couple of them crash after RSVPing no. Guess the bingo hall was closed that day.
That’s why you hire a bouncer! “Oh, hmm… you’re not on the guest list, sorry, no cake for you!”
The cake is a lie.
Nothin’ wrong with the VFW hall. Politeness/rudeness doesn’t necessarily correlate with money/lack of. If your husband’s family members frequented the country club instead of the bingo hall I bet they’d be just as rude. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with the bingo hall either.
I seriously hope you took her off your Christmas list. What kind of mother steals their child’s wedding money?!
I didn’t want to have a wedding at all. I hate weddings so hard that it hurts to think about it. The husband, though, really wanted one. We only sent out forty invitations, and got maybe five RSVPs back. I was pretty happy about that, as it meant a total of ten people, including family, wanted to come, so I figured a quick ceremony and we’re all done, right? We had to buy our own booze for afterwards, so we planned for how many RSVPs we got back. Once I actually went down the aisle, though, I saw that twenty-five people showed up. We did our ceremony with me seething, and then afterwards, I told them all to gtfo.
It was a bad night all around.
Don’t people understand that a wedding is a detailed, planned, catered event where you need to know the number of people?
Damn…I eloped back in the day [and divorced] and at this point in my life I’m “off” marriage as a concept. But if I hit my head on something and decided to take the plunge again, I think I’d follow Navarre’s advice upthread and have a bouncer!
For my second wedding, I wanted to just do the courthouse thing, but the hubs had never been married before and wanted a church wedding. By the time we were halfway through the planning, he wanted to elope, but things were too far along by then.
Poke your woman, I mean.
I think I <3 Jenna . . seriously
You know that the “status update” was written by Helen Killer, right?
Look, man. I don’t know how to break it to you, but she’s already been poked. As a matter of fact, she’s already been poked by, like, everybody. Hell, I thought you knew.
Wedding stuff gets stupider by the minute. So glad I’m past all that obnoxious shit. I still wish we had gone on a trip and eloped.
This is kind of clever, but I think if I got one (just like when I get every freaking one of those “You won’t be brave enough to post this” posts) I would flip a shit. One is cute. Five hundred “clever, original invitations?” I’ll pass.
I love how they posed for their engagement cards in elegant matching black hoodies.
I will admit, my engagement and wedding rings were custom made by an Etsy seller. I adore them.
I do hope it wasn’t made by the seller featured in tonight’s previous post
I am pretty dirty…but I decided to go all “classy” with the rings. I’ll keep that in mind for my anniversary, though.
we are looking at ordering ours from an etsy seller too. i almost felt guilty about it but decided i loved the ring more!
We’re only here to mock fuckery…not the talented people of etsy (IMHO). My rings were beautifully made.
My husband and I had a -small- wedding (less than 50 people) and even we wanted to elope while trying to plan it.
Then again it was very DIY so there was a lot of legit stress, none of the “oh no, the flowers are eggplant instead of purple, what will we do??” I think the worst thing that happened was we forgot to print our recipe for the punch, so my friend just made one up. No one ever notices the little mess-ups, anyway.
I went all DIY too. I’d take it back in a second for a trip to Costa Rica. WTF was I thinking?
The more I hear this, the more I think it’s a good idea someday. ♥
While I would probably NOT go for this, these are actually quite cute–if you met your spouse online. Or, if you’re 14.
Yeah, the design concept is like a rejected ad campaign for eHarmony.
I met my spouse online and yet it is not the central feature of our relationship. I would not consider using tacky, irritating crap like this.
Dang, I should’ve sent out Telnet-client save-the-dates, since I met my husband back in my MU* days.
I met my husband on AOL 2.5, but I would be far too embarrassed to admit that in most IRL situations, let alone on my wedding invitations. You’re double-screwed with AOL, because non-computists think you’re a total nerd and anyone who knows computers thinks you’re a n00b. Oh well.
I agree, I think they’re cute and maybe a fun option for the right wedding, say for a younger couple who are really into social media.
My friends, on the other hand, would just look at them and think “WTF??”
I… ugh… WHY? *facebookpalm*
I hate to break it to you but she’s already part of our superpoke.
Hey, this is the opposite of the last post, where the woman was poking him.
The girl who buys and uses these save the dates will also be the girl who updates her facebook while in labor. If you get this in the mail, I highly suggest defriending her. You don’t want that cell phone pic of the baby flying out of her bajingo. You just don’t!
OH god. Visions of horror. I will have nightmares about giving birth live on facebook tonight.
oh gross. hopefully by the time I’m ready to be a mother, babies will come with an app for updating themselves
That would be handy. I was so out of it after labor I kept forgetting to feed mine. A hunger notification might have been nice……
That’s what screaming until you’re blue in the face is for.
Oh, please, please somebody who can photoshop – a picture of a flying baby with a bajingo in the background!
And then she’ll be tweeting that shit too.
omg another contraction #baby
Almost been there – person at work had a sprog and enire faculty received dialtion up-date e-mails from some over-eager family member or friend. (Cannot recall and am trying to forget more).
Unless you are a very good friend all I want to hear is “mother & baby fine,” gender, & X lbs & Y ozs.
What about the name? I always love to hear what people name their kids. “We named her Kaighleigh, it’s like Kaylee but spelled differently so she’ll be unique!” “We named him Cutter Blade because it’s tuff and manly!” “We named her James because girls with boys names are strong!”
I’m usually afraid to ask for name in case they want to start detailing the birth process (again, stick to “natural” or “needed cesearean” NOTHING more). However, I am OK if the volunteer the name & I agree taht it can be good to read in advance; if they tell you in person your face can give you away. (Am I the only person who thinks that naming a child Drake when his dad is a duck hunter is a hostile act)? Oh, I also had a student whose name was Unique – literally.
I graduated with a Unique (back in 1999). I’ve seen lots of babies in birth announcement named Unique over the past few years, too. Doesn’t this defeat the purpose?
“Here’s a toaster in honor of your wedding. This gift was bought on clearance and can’t be returned. Could you help by sending a thank you note back?”
10 minutes ago via Weddingville *Like*Comment*Send Thank You Note
WeddingVille? Oh, damn, I’m too busy with Mafia Wars, FarmVille, FrontierVille, and It Girl as it is. Okay, I’ll be in your Wedding Party but I’m deleting your gift requests. I don’t care if you don’t have enough Wedding Cake Slices to put a Liberator in your virtual Honeymoon Suite.
And send me more purple sheep or I’ll find someone who will.
U may now txt the brd.
Oooh, some bride-to-be needs to order these with a “profile pic” of herself in a wedding gown…with the camera obviously held at the end of her outstretched arm. She would of course be showing a bunch of cleavage, making ducklips, and giving the finger with her other hand.
Then it would be perfect.
Wedding self-portraits are SOOO 2011!
If you added something in an unreadable font along the lines of “dont fuck wif my babydaddy bitchs” “dont hate me cuz i hot” then it would be perfect.
Of course it also needs to have a toilet in the background.
Pffft… ducklipped self-portraits are soooo Myspace
I eloped twice and never had to worry about stupid RSVPs. Thank God.
The only reason I go to weddings is for the food.
and the open bar
This seems a lot more romantic than the proposal I got:
“Listen uh… I need someone to clean my toilets for the rest of my life. Wanna get hitched?”
sigh… I am truly envious of this couple.
My husband’s uncle proposed to his aunt in the car while at a train crossing. Right as he started to ask, the train passed and people started honking. He wordlessly tossed the ring in her lap and hit the gas.
After a minute she just looked over and said “I guess yes would be the appropriate answer?”
I knew someone who proposed at an Elton John/Billy Joel concert. At a slow point he HANDED HER a $20,000 ring and said “how about it?”
Of course, she had lived with him for two years and had set the date before he ever “proposed,” so she didn’t have a lot of room to complain.
My dad said to my mom, “So, you wanna?”
Mom: “Wanna what?”
Dad: “Get married.”
Mom: “Oh, sure, I guess.”
31 years later and they still hate each other.
My brother in law…wow. At his wedding the bride showed up 3 hours late because she was at Wal-Mart buying is wedding band with her mother. All the while her mother was trying to convince her not to marry him. That night during the reception he ended up making out with an old female friend. Less than 5 years later they were divorced and went through a nasty custody battle for their son. *sigh*
With my first marriage, it went like this:
me:”so, we set the date and looked at a bunch of venues last week, but you never actually asked me to marry you.”
him:”Oh. Uh, will you marry me?”
me:”I guess so.”
Current marriage proposal was much more romantic. Should have said “never mind” instead of “guess so.” Ah, hindsight.
I didn’t even get an actual proposal. One day we were laying around and I said “we are going to get married, right?” He agreed and I suggested we pick out an engagement ring together. Once we got it, I was like, “aren’t you going to ask me to marry you?” Being romantic is completely lost on my husband, but I love him, so I’m happy
My ex just turned to me one day and said “so I think we should get married.” And I laughed and laughed because we’d only been going out for eight weeks.
Then I said what the hell.
My boyfriend is much more romantic than my ex ever was…but he’s usually the chick in our relationship, so if there’s a proposal it will almost certainly come from me.
We’re perfectly content living in sin though so I don’t think even that will happen.
I was thoroughly confused because I thought this was an actual facebook “event.” Self, I thought, why would someone pay $30 to have someone else create a facebook event for them? Then I thought, Self, someone made that to LOOK LIKE facebook. Why would anyone do that?
Then I finished off my bottle of champagne and ordered 3 sets.
OH, me too! It took me a minute to get it. I can’t use alcohol as an excuse, unfortunately.
When I was getting married my uncle suggested that everyone who showed up late or without an RSVP be served haggis. I was on board until I figured out how fucking hard it is to find haggis in the United States. If I had been Etsy-savvy back then I could have just asked someone to find the haggis for me. C’est la vie ….
I know where you can buy canned haggis. And canned mushy peas for a side, and canned spotted dick for dessert.
I hear they have a pill for that now.
Hehehe. Spotted dick. Every time I see that in the “international” aisle at the grocery store, I can’t help but giggle.
If I ever get married again, my wedding will be held at the Town Hall before a Justice of the Peace, and the only people invited will be immediate family members. And all you whimsicle fuckers, but you’d be advised to bring your own booze, since I can’t drink.
Or we can just put HK in charge of the bar, and she can spend the night making exotic jell-o shots.
I’d pay money to attend that wedding!
Anyone else here think Helen would make an excellent MC?
I wish Helen was a J.O.P. I have no plans to get married, but I would just to have her officiate.
I’ve heard it’s pretty easy to get licensed online. “Whimsicle Weddings by Helen” sounds pretty good!
Drama drama drama.
What ever happened to getting married for the benefit of yourself and your spouse to be? It doesn’t need to be a god awful spectacle, especially if you’re going to insist in being so melodramatic about the whole thing.
Because it’s her special DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY, by god! You will bow to her demands or she will eat you alive.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
It’s a celebration of love and the union of two people and their families.
It’s supposed to be a big happy event. It’s not just boring old go to the court house and sign the papers because I am going to have a baby and I need support.
I think alchemical was thinking more along the lines of bridezillas and over-the-top weddings. Not a nice, family wedding like most sane people have.
I had the “pleasure” of dealing with a dozen or so weddings last summer.
Sanity didn’t play a major role in any of them.
Actually, the police and paramedics showed up more than sanity.
In the Digital Age, screen caps will be the primary obstacle to annulments.
Am I reading too much into this if this is my idea of Queen Helen and Brock’s royal wedding and this is how I’m subtly being invited?
Seriously, if it’s like a web cam thing, I’ll take the day off. The reception might look like a drunken, lonely, chatroulette but I’m fucking showing up.
My end of the webcam would look drunken and lonely…I’m sure yours would look like a lot more fun. Especially if your serving ware is some of this memorabilia you’ve been posting!
I think save the date cards are lame anyway. My cousin sent out FOUR. One was 2 YEARS ahead of time. Bitch, your wedding is NOT that important.
Haha really? Wow. She must have been confident that they wouldn’t split by then.
I’ve found there is a certain type of woman who sends these cards out. I don;t get along well with that type of woman. We got one, even though husband was the best man. What, you thought he’d forget?
I got to beg off and stay home with the doggies, since hotel wouldn’t take doggies – I was so happy!!
Damn! I would send out an 10 years-to-early announcement for the birth of my child! Let see your wedding out do me bitch! lol
Just kidding. But seriously..who does that?
If I ever get married I hope there less people there than I can count with both hands. I don’t need every single person I’ve ever met there.
“OMG remember him! I had a crush on him when I was in the 6th grade! He better fuck one of my bridesmaids!”
Sometimes…I don’t get people.
She also bought 5 wedding dresses…..wore one for pictures about a year before the wedding. Three others she bought and then decided she didn’t like.
I seriously hope she doesn’t procreate. We used to be friends growing up, but this level of priss I cannot handle….
It takes a very special, or completely whipped, man to put up with that sort of thing.
That’s just ridiculous.
Seriously. At that point all of the fuss and princessery has WAY overtaken the actual husband-to-be in importance.
I almost typoed “impotence” there. It seems oddly appropriate.
And parents. Completely whipped parents, who probably paid for each dress.
He’s super sweet, and totally cute, but not really bright. So I’m thinking it’s the “not that bright” part that keeps him with her. She’s a freaking aerospace engineer….
Dammit. I thought you were gonna say they kept informally announcing the breakup, therefore having to resend the STDs. (Do you see what I did there?)
At my wedding, 30 odd years ago, no save the date, no RSVPs. Just show up and if there’s enough food and champagne for everyone, BONUS! Turns out there was plenty left over and the whole wedding cost less than $1,000.00. Shit, times have changed!
That’s what I want to do. May cost a bit more than $1000, but I want simple and fun, dammit!
No shit! If I had the cash I spent on our wedding today, I’d probably spend it on marriage counseling.
I don’t know why it’s so hard to plan a wedding. Papa John’s has a coupon for ten pizzas for $100 bucks. That should do it, I’d think.
Hopefully the idiots who order these have someone who loves them enough to punch them in the face for buying something so fucking stupid. Unless your last name is Zuckerberg there’s no reason to buy them. You’d look like such a twat.
We only had 50 people there. half were a pain in the ass the other half were drunk. If I had to do it over again I would just live in sin. Now that I would announce on fake facebook cards.
My friend met her now ex-husband on MySpace. She would absolutely have ordered that save the date had it been available. I needed so much alcohol to get through that wedding… unfortunately when I got there it was a “DRY” wedding and there was none to be had. It was dry because a distant relative of someone’s was a recovering alcoholic. ONE PERSON. Who didn’t even SHOW UP. Had I known it was “dry” I would have stuffed a bottle or 2 in my cleavage.
Uh oh. I just got a mental image of wine bottle holder shaped like cleavage. It’s a good thing I have no artistic ability to render a drawing.
Let me check my Facebook status…
I’m nearly 50 and have never been married. Was with my first bf, but never got a sober proposal, so I never went through with it, and eventually he started cheating, anyway.
I only knew my son’s dad for three months when I found out that some OTC antihistamines can counter-act the effects of the Pill. I’d always wanted kids & was 27 by then, so I decided to have the baby. I told Mark he didn’t have to stick around, I wouldn’t blame him, but (after the abortion deadline in our state) he told me, “Well, I guess we can get married, if you want.” I replied, “As romantic as that sounds – no.”
I’ve been to a LOT of DIY weddings though, and some non-DIY weddings, and I love the small, personal ones MUCH better!
I’m not planning on ever giving in & doing it, but “non-traditional” thing.
Also, I’ll come here to have you guys do my commemorative plates.
My wedding turned into SUCH a fiasco. My parents pulled the traditional thing and paid for our wedding, which my mom decided meant that it was HER wedding, and basically took over. I wasn’t allowed to make the decisions about things I really wanted – my dress was vetoed for being “too sexy” and replaced with a marshmallow snow-monster princess thing (still pretty, but not my first choice). I was not allowed to go to the menu tasting with friends – my mom came and for the most part picked the menu. I didn’t get to pick the cake flavors I wanted – my mom insisted she have at least one tier in her favorite flavor. I was even shocked to find out that my friends were being scratched off the guest list to make room for her business associates WHOM I HAD NEVER EVEN MET!!
But on the day of the wedding, every single person in the wedding party (my husband and I included) and over half the guests all had the stomach flu. My husband had a barf bag in his tuxedo “just in case.” So…Karma.
Weddings. Elope and put a down payment on a house.
If you need to trick on the white lace and tiara, you are probably getting married just to go through the whole wedding bullshit routine, and it won’t last. Your next high will be an affair.
Forget feeding all those damned people that wouldn’t buy YOU a meal on your worst day…save your money, do it private and cheap, and buy a house.
This rant is over.
That’s not a rant. It’s common sense.
“Reception/Housewarming” party – everyone helps you move, you get wedding cake, they help set up all your stuff and find out you DON’T need another toaster, then everyone goes to a department store and goes shopping for what you don’t have.
Hmmm I bet my boyfriend would go for this someday!
That’s what we did! Small wedding, 30 people or so, and bought a house.
You are so wise and absolutely right.
Yes! I wish I’d done that, instead my parents and my ex’s parents got saddled with debt, and we were divorced three years later. Besides, after eloping and buying said house you can always have a “post-elopement reception” and invite over whoever you want.
Facebook-themed wedding. HMM. So cellphones aren’t banned, status updates instead of verbal communication? Lots of drunk photo posting at the end of the reception? Classy. Just because the rest of your life revolves around facebook, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to base your wedding on it. Unless that’s how you met, if so, have fun.
No, thanks. I’ll go to Staples, buy the paper and print it off Facebook myself.
To me, “Save the date” cards mean they did not plan well enough to have the invitations ready.
I invited everybody to mine the day before the wedding (via LiveJournal and phone). No RSVPs but two people showed up (sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law). My parents were on vacation and found out about it when they got home. My parents had said they’d pay for college or wedding, and I chose college. Total cost for the wedding: about $200, but that probably includes the engagement ring. We both went back to work in the afternoon.
I did always want to introduce him as “my first husband”.
I have friends who have been married 50 years and she still introduces him as her first husband.
Just my opinion, and all, but the price/planning aren’t the arbiter of the length of the marriage. Low cost, easy, or small doesn’t always mean it’ll last forever, but neither does huge and ostentatious guarantee lasting happiness. Save the dates, perfect dress, nothing going wrong day of? NONE of that matters. It’s all about how hard you’re willing to work at the relationship, how well matched you are, and how good of friends. Well, that, and if s/he doesn’t cheat on ya. OR turn into a total lazy douche.
I worked in banquets for 3 years, and OMFG you could ALWAYS tell the couple who was going to divorce within 5 years. I wish we could have made bets and had family tell us later if we were right. One couple didn’t even really make it through the wedding – she seriously stomped off to the bride room, screaming she wanted an annulment. Not that I blame her, the groom was a complete tool, checking out bridesmaid boobs…..but she was also a complete “princess.”
I bartended for a catering company, and I have had some very similar experiences…. One bride locked herself in the bathroom for more than 45 minutes because her jackass groom was too busy playing pool to show up to the part of the reception with the dj/food/family. Ah, that’s one for the album.
It rained on the morning of my noonish outdoor wedding (actually six years ago today, April 30), and stopped just long enough for a beautiful ceremony. We spent less than $3000, and it was perfect. (I couldn’t afford anything, so we made it all ourselves.)
Speaking of weddings, does anyone know some good mixes for peach schnapps?
Ginger ale and bourbon.
May leave out the bourbon and make it a Just Peachy, Eh?
Got married barefoot on the beach in Mexico, just the 2 of us. He proposed the first day of our trip. Met with the resort wedding coordinator day 2, got married day 9. Everything was perfect, & not and ounce of stress. I do kinda wish the 3 witnesses on our marriage certificate were not Juan, Juan, and Juan though.
Wedding (including photos, cake, and champagne), 11 day all inclusive trip to Mexico, dress, and airfare… less than $2,000
Juan, Two and Three??
The whole wedding thing is kinda strange to me. When I got married, there were something like 5 steps:
1) book wedding chambers in Toronto City Hall
2) fly to Toronto
3) get marriage license on morning of wedding
4) get married, using two of the four guests for witnesses
5) go back to hotel room, eat cake
My mum got drunk and crawled around the room with a cake moustache. It was great.
This all makes me so happy that I got married in Las Vegas. Our witness was a drunk guy we dragged in off the street. The guy who married us was in a hurry and wanted me to rent a plastic flower to hold… RENT? PLASTIC? FLOWER????? I laughed so hard that I had to go outside and breath in all that gambling air for about 3 minutes. I never ever even contemplated having a wedding.
I might make those for myself, as a joke. To give to my sister, maybe my cousin, a couple of people. But as actual wedding save-the-dates?
Two of my friends got married today. Another is pregnant. I think I’m feeling horrible sociological/biological pressures. Help.
Assuming getting married is a one-time thing, her response should be “I will!” not “I do!” Save that for the ceremony, honey.
I’m just creeped out by the matching black hoodies. “Do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?” “I do” “I now pronounce you one with the great leader. You all may now eat the pudding and secure the plastic baggies over your heads.”
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