Yeah, I saw it and thought, eh, it’s a little different with that really high collar and the skirt coming out of your neck. And then I saw the back, but honestly, I can’t even rationalize this. Are you supposed to wear leggings and a tank top under this thing, or are there buttons/zippers in the back that I’m not seeing?
I would totally buy something sculpted out of beef jerky and someone’s shattered dreams. Their despair only makes it taste sweeter. Or spicier.. beefier.. teriyakier?
Yeah, their dream of the world coming to an end never happened. They spent their adult lives planning for it and missed out things like having a job and money for decent clothes.
Perhaps she already knew that, hummmm?
Honestly, I don’t think an ooack seems fashionable or efficient either. No matter how you spell it.
Crazy like a WOLF!
Definitely a barbeque apron. I am picturing Pinhead wearing it while adding chunks of his most recent victim onto the grill. After having skinned this thing off said victim.
I’m right with you there….what IS it? IS it a top of some kind? I’m thinking it’s meant to be so, but it’s displayed so poorly it pretty much looks like a shopping bag with a hole in the bottom, and just as useless.
Maybe for nursing/easy access with bonus baby scare image?
(Also….should Ark-unt67 reply to that boob reference in any form, my standard “fuck yourself, homophobic twunt” response applies.)
Ugh, if it is exposing your dress form’s ass, I think that’s a good sign you need to go back to the drawing board/add a few more stitches…NOT list it on Etsy!
People who are attracted to the wolf moon shirt always have the kind of physique that warrants wide open sides and bare backs. The only thing better than visible side-tit is visible side-tit festooned with upcycled wolf shirts. This product is a winner in my book.
Lord, spare us. The home made brassiere arrangement with the rope at the shoulder is astounding. At least it shows a sense that ordinary underwear is not up to the challenge. Leaving the house looking like that shows that awareness is very limited.
No one except for me. Go ahead, thumb me down… but I like to “upcycle” T-shirts I find at thrift stores and make tube tops, halter tops, and other fun stuff for myself. Loose T-shirts look like ass on me, so there’s a way to fix that. I made one for my sister once. She liked it, I think. Ah well, I guess I’m just a vintage upcycling hipster now. Pardon me while I go find a mustache-on-a-stick.
the important part of this was ‘for myself’. I love messing with crap I find, but I don’t try to sell it. I hide it, and bring it out only when I feel very confident or very drunk.
I don’t know if you did it on purpose or if it’s just a co-winkie-dink, but the character in “The Stand” that said M-O-O-N spells ‘everything’ was named Tom Cullen. Or as I call him, Edward’s well written cousin.
In an astonishing piece of synchronicity, I was literally just thinking that I wanted to buy a 3XL Three Wolf Moon tee and remake it into a lovely fitted dress.
I am tempted to buy this. I know someone who would never ever wear it and would, in fact, be horrified by its existence. Christmas is a ways off, but this would be worth saving…
That is a brilliant idea. I want to steal it. We have a friend who buys a really, extremely, seriously worthless piece of crap every Christmas. We keep telling her not to buy us gifts, but she does it anyway. We’ve been looking for something really horrible to give her so she’ll stop it. This is perfect.
Rather than using the already prepared cardboard box, lined with an old mattress pad, my cat decided to pull shirts down from their hangers, and settle on the closet floor. They were my husband’s silk shirts. In the closet.
Any questions? Nobody? Didn’t think so.
I can’t help feeling you could sell them on Etsy though, there seems to be a market for that kind of thing. Description:
‘Each shirt is one of a kind, my cat and her kittens produced this art – a record if you will of the birth miracle. The first tiny paw prints of new life. 100% SILK NO RETURNS’
We read all the literature that said “Your cat will seek out a quiet dark place to have her litter.” And then our cat had them ON THE WOOD LIVING ROOM FLOOR. In broad daylight, surrounded by all the humans, as well as the Mastiff, and the father. (She did get up and stagger towards the fabric lined crate we’d set up for her at one point, but only because the father was investigating it, and she wasn’t okay with that.) Of course, the literature also said “First time litters are often 1-2 kittens.” And she had 6. So apparently she wasn’t reading the same literature we were.
Mine are the same way. Crazy tortie definitely did not read the book that said spritzing her with water was a valid disciplinary method; instead she developed a terror of all spray bottles and is now MUCH harder to flea proof.
Apparently my family didn’t read that literature, either. This is why we were surprised when our cat, whom we didn’t know was pregnant and hadn’t gained any noticeable weight, spontaneously had one kitten behind the couch one night. That was surprising.
How about kitty giving birth under the covers in your child’s bed, while he was sleeping in it! He sue was surprised when he woke up!
Dark…. Check
Quiet… Check
Smells like teenage boy ass… Check
Perfect!
I would wear something like that with maybe skants.
“Why would anyone buy this?” Yes. But even more important, why would anyone make that?
Btw – curious to know what you think of this http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/22/chestfully-clean/
regarding your recent issue the other day involving breast milk. Just curious to know if you see that as a waste or a WTF?
Thanks
Frau
as it drapes on that mannequin the only possible use would be for a Barbeque apron for a leather fetishist with a mullet and a goiter he’s trying to hide.
It doesn’t cover the right parts of the body for anything else.
I want it confirmed which species is intended to wear this. It’s hopelessly awkward on that mannequin, so I’m not convinced bipeds are the target demographic here.
The majestic moose, perhaps? Giraffes? Plant-eating dinosaurs?
Or maybe its for one of those “too horrible for the human mind to comprehend” critters that Lovecraft was always going on about.
A Shoggoth would look absolutely darling in this. And with any luck, he’d get pissed that the wolves weren’t real and therefore couldn’t be consumed, and go after the seller instead.
These shirts are bad enough to begin with on their own….
I once went on a date with a guy who was really nice, turns out he wore his only shirt that wasnt tie dyed with animals on it that day…..needless to say I just couldn’t proceed because of the shirts.
Perhaps they should be selling these as chastity belt.
I personally think that this is amazing. Three wolves + moon = increases sexual prowess and fertility anyway. Couple that with it being a butt sling AND a cape thing all at once. How could you ask for anything more out of one garment. Oh… wait…. you could have never asked BUT THEY DELIVERED!!! It’s a bib too! So now when you are going to town devouring all the ladies in this amazing ensemble you don’t have to get worried about your pirate shirt getting dirty.
And if you get lost in the woods, the butt sling will take care of the lack of toilet paper, and be your own doggie bag so you don’t taint the world with your feces.
Fashion, function, form, three wolves… all in one amazing package to quiet any questions about your sanity and intelligence, while ensuring that you will never ever get laid again. Amazing.
I can’t decide if that is the front or back of a person. On one hand, clavicles and treasure trail. On the other, illusion of front butt. Arms are a wild card. Help me.
There is an entire crevasse between the vision and execution. “And then instead of the sequined T-strap on the back that holds it all together, I’m going to make a giant leather elizabethan ruff, and let it all hang out.”
I assume the front of that dress also has 4 wolves on it, and that’s where they got the idea.
Sadly, my sons adore Mountain shirts (they’re 10 and 7, and my mother buys them at a boutique, so apparently to her that makes them less trailer park). I hate the damn things, because for some ungodly reason the creatures always look freaky (for example, there’s a crying eagle shirt, and a sad looking dragon clutching a skull).
But ya know – I think I’ll have to relax my “No Mountain Shirts to School” rule now that I’ve seen it can be worse. So very, very much worse.
They have a People of Walmart about that, too. I’m just code dumb and haven’t yet figured out how to embed an image. Panus underneath a skirt, encased in fishnethosery.
I can’t bring myself to do it, but will somebody PLEASE message the “artist” and ask her what the holy fuck this thing is supposed to be? I won’t be able to get anything done today until I know! This will seriously cut into my drinking time…
The ideal thing for those who can’t bare to part with an old tee shirt or those who won’t use it for a rag… make it into an uglier rag. Who in their right mind would buy and wear that? I wouldn’t even sleep in that shit!
I might. But only if the air-condition was broken and I had a decent nightgown lying next to me on the bed, in the event the house caught on fire and I had to make an unplanned exit.
I used to feel that way when I’d see a post like this. I’d think, “This is a troll, a joke from the seller. Surely nothing this bad could be for real. I should give these people more credit.”
Whenever I think “I should give these people more credit,” it’s such a red flag. I inevitably think later, “I gave these people too much credit.”
The open back is PERFECT for displaying one’s tramp stamp and bacne on those drunken, late night Wal-Mart excursions.
Warning: Don’t underestimate the mystic powers of this shirt. The wolves can summon dangerous spirits from the lower astral plane. If you are not able to handle ancestral snake demons, never wear it to a Santana concert!
Okay, from the same seller’s shop, this one has “Meth Lab” in the title. I know, it’s all about getting more hits and it’s got a thousand word essay for a title but I have to ask:
You peaked my curiosity so I searched it. I found the auto reply amusing:
“We didn’t find anything for meth lab.
Try a popular search query like hair feathers, turquoise, engagement ring, feather extensions, wall decal, feather hair extensions, steampunk, owl, or deathly hallows necklace instead.”
Etsy thinks I mispelled meth lab because I was looking for dealthy hallows necklace? Meth cookers have feather hair extensions? Steampunk only makes sense if you are doped up on meth? And I thought all meth was good for was missing/nasty teeth, pocked faces and weight loss.
“We didn’t find ANYTHING?” As in, “nothing at all?” Not even this?
Please tell me all these strings of words sellers go to all the trouble of sorting out and opening thesauruses (thesaurusi?) for are amounting to dick all. Please.
Do you think if I went to a festival where they have those tents that Indian’s set up with big Americana throws, t’s, flute music, and bootleg purses and dvd’s I’d be able to find one of these in hot pink?
It would be really cute over a pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt. Oh wait. I was thinking a pair of black skinny jeans and long sleeved black t-shirt would be cute. This is godawful.
Hey; be kind – this artist noted that this item
“should fit all unisex sizes”. One never knows what will be shown on the flipside. This could be a story for another day.
It amazes me how close this comes to being kinda cool and something an ironic hipster would actually wear. The obviously put “some” “effort” into the making, even hot gluing some shoe laces for ties in the back would have made it perfect.
April 26, 2011 at 11:19 am
*insert obligatory 3 wolves shirt joke here*
April 26, 2011 at 11:24 am
I thought the shirt was a joke all by itself.
April 26, 2011 at 11:41 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Four wolves, actually
(there’s a tiny one biting the moon like it’s a Frisbee)
April 26, 2011 at 12:37 pm
“Any questions please ask”
my question is WTF?!
April 26, 2011 at 6:07 pm
i second that!
April 26, 2011 at 11:20 am
what. the. fuck.
April 26, 2011 at 11:48 am
At first I thought it was a skirt. Then I read the description. Then I said WTF. Then I saw the photo of the back. Then I said WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK.
Time to quit fashion design, you failed the entrance exam.
April 26, 2011 at 12:31 pm
I’m tempted to buy it & wear at the Royal Wedding
April 26, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Do wear your Royal condoms
April 26, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Yeah, I saw it and thought, eh, it’s a little different with that really high collar and the skirt coming out of your neck. And then I saw the back, but honestly, I can’t even rationalize this. Are you supposed to wear leggings and a tank top under this thing, or are there buttons/zippers in the back that I’m not seeing?
April 26, 2011 at 3:50 pm
One thing I think I do see… a still-intact T-shirt sleeve. Unreal.
April 26, 2011 at 6:45 pm
I actually thought it was an awesomely kitschy dress, until I saw the back. :\
April 26, 2011 at 11:20 am
The leather collar makes it classy.
April 26, 2011 at 11:53 am
I’d buy it if it only if it came with a black poofie c-string.
April 26, 2011 at 11:54 am
derp.
April 26, 2011 at 12:34 pm
but shouldn’t it have a fur collar?
April 26, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Based on the people I’ve seen actually wearing wolf t-shirts, it should have a collar made of beef jerky and shattered dreams.
April 26, 2011 at 6:24 pm
I would totally buy something sculpted out of beef jerky and someone’s shattered dreams. Their despair only makes it taste sweeter. Or spicier.. beefier.. teriyakier?
April 26, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 27, 2011 at 5:04 am
With the emphasis on assy.
April 27, 2011 at 5:06 am
Ooh. That was a reply to Godzilla. It’s late here, and my embedding gland is on the fritz..
April 27, 2011 at 11:48 am
don’t worry, i understood.
April 26, 2011 at 11:20 am
That’s an interesting look for those who absolutely loathe themselves. Makes it easy!
April 26, 2011 at 11:21 am
For the She-Wolf in you…
April 26, 2011 at 11:26 am
With easy access for the He-Wolf to get in you, too.
April 26, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I’m choking on pizza!!! You bitches are dangerous!
April 26, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Damned straight we are! Us fat losers are just hoping you DO choke so we can scarf down that damned greasy pizza you leave behind!
Got a serviette??
April 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Says it’s “unisex.” I’m pretty sure no sex is ever happening anywhere near that, though.
April 26, 2011 at 12:20 pm
maybe they meant ‘eunuchsex’ – in which case, they’re not even trying right?
April 26, 2011 at 2:54 pm
I think that’s a typo for ‘unsexy’.
April 26, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Maybe unisex means you will only have sex once…..once the other person stops laughing.
April 26, 2011 at 11:21 am
Brrrr – that makes me chilly just looking at it! And deeply
sad that my ass really wouldn’t be looking so good in it.
Meh.April 26, 2011 at 12:27 pm
I know. If I tried to wear it, it’d look like some sort of medical buttsling stretched under both cheeks.
April 26, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Solid gold comment, Spidie!
April 27, 2011 at 12:00 am
We aim to please.
April 26, 2011 at 11:21 am
http://www.amazon.com/Mountain-Three-Wolf-Short-Sleeve/dp/B002HJ377A
It has the magic!
April 26, 2011 at 11:21 am
I have a feeling that will be sold in minutes.
April 26, 2011 at 11:22 am
any questions please ask
Oh, I have a lot of questions, so I’ll start with the most general one…
“What on earth were you thinking?”, followed closely by “Did you ask you doctor to weaken your prescription?”
April 26, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I was laughing so hard, my hand spastically hit the red thumb. Sorry, Pincus!
April 27, 2011 at 8:17 am
You think I haven’t been “red thumbed” in my life?
April 26, 2011 at 11:22 am
I think I once saw someone in Walmart wearing this.
April 26, 2011 at 11:22 am
This three wolves shirt has four wolves on it. Bootleg.
I’m glad someone finally had the stones to improve upon this classic design.
April 26, 2011 at 11:22 am
I may not be up to speed with my geekwear terms, but an ooack doesn’t seem fashionable or efficient to me in the least.
April 26, 2011 at 11:54 am
“OOAK” means “One of a Kind”, dear.
April 26, 2011 at 12:06 pm
I had to google… shame.
April 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Perhaps she already knew that, hummmm?
Honestly, I don’t think an ooack seems fashionable or efficient either. No matter how you spell it.
Crazy like a WOLF!
April 26, 2011 at 3:17 pm
thanks for clarifying guys..I honestly thought it was like a cloak but since it is not quite there, they took off the C.
April 26, 2011 at 11:22 am
Is the background rope included so wearer can conveniently hang him/herself?
April 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Himself???
Oh, I think we need to see this on Sad Hipster.
April 26, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I was thinking the same thing! Or maybe a backwoods Courtney Love.
April 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Done
I think he looks smashing
Sad hipster is sad…but he has the Magyk!!!
April 26, 2011 at 1:47 pm
I have visions of sad hipster dancing to B.o.B.’s song ‘Magic’ now…
April 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm
This makes me very happy! But then, I always get happy when sad hipster makes an appearance. I think I might be developing some feelings for him.
I’m not even kidding. I’d say that right now my feelings are at a level 2, maybe even. . .level 3.
April 26, 2011 at 2:21 pm
So glad he is having my baby. And he can wear this into his 6th month.
April 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I like it on him … his pout is completely hidden.
April 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm
I thought it was more important that his crotch was completely hidden…finally.
April 26, 2011 at 4:23 pm
His pout is not so much hidden as implied.
April 26, 2011 at 6:03 pm
His crotch may be hidden, but remember the back view–still plenty of overexposure!
April 26, 2011 at 11:57 pm
I think I love you.
April 27, 2011 at 5:48 am
This is really quite fantastic.
April 26, 2011 at 11:23 am
Is this a dress or some sort of barbeque apron? I’m going to guess the former because vampires and werewolves don’t go to barbeques….
April 26, 2011 at 11:30 am
I honestly thought it was a nursing (breastfeeding) cover. I think it’d be abuse to nurse your kids under that, though. Nightmare fodder.
April 26, 2011 at 11:32 am
Definitely a barbeque apron. I am picturing Pinhead wearing it while adding chunks of his most recent victim onto the grill. After having skinned this thing off said victim.
April 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm
No, I think Pinhead’s wardrobe is actually better than this…
April 26, 2011 at 11:23 am
I have a 3 Wolf Moon shirt. Now I know what to wear over it when I’m baking cookies. Or meth…
April 26, 2011 at 11:40 am
Well, Martha Stewart did wear this on her meth cooking episode. It was very special.
April 26, 2011 at 11:23 am
“sny questions please ask”.
I have a question….what is it?
April 26, 2011 at 11:24 am
(oops…”any”)
April 26, 2011 at 11:35 am
I’m right with you there….what IS it? IS it a top of some kind? I’m thinking it’s meant to be so, but it’s displayed so poorly it pretty much looks like a shopping bag with a hole in the bottom, and just as useless.
Maybe for nursing/easy access with bonus baby scare image?
(Also….should Ark-unt67 reply to that boob reference in any form, my standard “fuck yourself, homophobic twunt” response applies.)
April 26, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Because everybody knows that fear is an integral part of the breast feeding experience!
Pretty sure Ark67 is now a comedic legend here! In a “please stay the fuck away from me” kind of way…
April 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm
Jeez, I get a job for one little month and I start missing all kinds of weirdness around here.
April 26, 2011 at 4:25 pm
That’ll teach you.
April 26, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 27, 2011 at 5:16 am
Oh, arky sparky. Don’t poke the regretsy bear.
April 26, 2011 at 11:24 am
Admittedly, hacking a Three-wolves-shirt apart is indeed a step up.
April 26, 2011 at 11:24 am
Ugh, if it is exposing your dress form’s ass, I think that’s a good sign you need to go back to the drawing board/add a few more stitches…NOT list it on Etsy!
April 26, 2011 at 11:27 am
Also: I get the feeling that ‘bustle back’ is not quite the design element that made its way into this piece.
April 26, 2011 at 11:29 am
Better than the artist’s ass.
April 26, 2011 at 11:31 am
This is true.
April 26, 2011 at 11:25 am
Um, I don’t get it. Are you supposed to choke yourself with the rubber tire around your neck while your ass hangs out?
April 26, 2011 at 11:27 am
Admittedly, probably a narrow market for this type of thing.
April 26, 2011 at 11:32 am
David Carradine would have worn this.
April 26, 2011 at 11:38 am
I think that’s a collar so you can’t chew on yourself until your stitches heal. Or so you can’t chew an arm off to escape.
April 26, 2011 at 11:50 am
Because those white cones are sooo 1960s, and not in a “vintage” way!
April 26, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I think an Elizabethan collar (for healing dogs), would have been so much more apropos
April 26, 2011 at 11:25 am
People who are attracted to the wolf moon shirt always have the kind of physique that warrants wide open sides and bare backs. The only thing better than visible side-tit is visible side-tit festooned with upcycled wolf shirts. This product is a winner in my book.
April 26, 2011 at 11:26 am
and it’s unisex, so you could very easily be getting side-moobs.
April 26, 2011 at 11:29 am
That’s the thing I wanted to post about, unisex. Sadly there are some females I can picture wearing this, but men? That’s a scary mental image.
April 26, 2011 at 11:37 am
Theres transvestites of course, but they have more taste.
April 26, 2011 at 11:41 am
Transvestites generally like women’s clothing…not unisex nightmares.
April 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm
That’s Hawt.
April 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Fuck you Fraeulein, fuck you you fucking fuck.
On the plus side, the fact that I may never eat again should be great for my weight.
April 26, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Christ on a seahorse, Fraulein. That should be saved for sterilization websites.
April 26, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Goddamn, Fraeulein! Is there even a word for back boobs?
April 26, 2011 at 3:36 pm
All she needs is a pair of leopard print pasties to complete the look. Oh wait….that’s her back!
April 26, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Now, THAT’S a “real wombyn”; she can breastfeed quadruplets!
April 26, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Lord, spare us. The home made brassiere arrangement with the rope at the shoulder is astounding. At least it shows a sense that ordinary underwear is not up to the challenge. Leaving the house looking like that shows that awareness is very limited.
April 26, 2011 at 4:54 pm
All I can think of, since she’s wearing a swimsuit/tanktop or something…. is what kind of sunburn pattern is she going to have?
April 27, 2011 at 11:27 am
My first reaction… Oh, that poor woman has no nipples.
April 26, 2011 at 11:29 am
I can’t not think of a single man who wouldn’t love not wearing this unique and one of a kind garment on any occasion.
April 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2011 at 12:36 pm
And the gay men stop vomiting at the picture long enough to downthumb. Can you blame them?
April 26, 2011 at 1:20 pm
I especially like how it would highlight and frame a .. what’s the polite way of saying “tramp stamp”?
April 26, 2011 at 1:27 pm
tart art?
April 26, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Ass cap.
April 26, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Date stamp.
April 27, 2011 at 3:01 am
Arse antlers.
April 26, 2011 at 11:25 am
upcycled: something no one wants, made better.
this is more 4-year-old-with-a-pair-of-scissors-and-a-glue-stick cylced.
April 26, 2011 at 11:28 am
Upcycled – something no one wants, made into something else no one wants.
April 26, 2011 at 11:44 am
Yes, no one wants. Most upcyclers seem to forget that part. Oh look…I just hacked up a perfectly good hollister shirt to make a turtleneck skirt.
April 26, 2011 at 3:59 pm
It’s not “up” then…”sidecycled”?
April 26, 2011 at 8:30 pm
No one except for me. Go ahead, thumb me down… but I like to “upcycle” T-shirts I find at thrift stores and make tube tops, halter tops, and other fun stuff for myself. Loose T-shirts look like ass on me, so there’s a way to fix that. I made one for my sister once. She liked it, I think. Ah well, I guess I’m just a vintage upcycling hipster now. Pardon me while I go find a mustache-on-a-stick.
April 26, 2011 at 9:56 pm
the important part of this was ‘for myself’. I love messing with crap I find, but I don’t try to sell it. I hide it, and bring it out only when I feel very confident or very drunk.
April 26, 2011 at 11:26 am
I am so confused. I thought it was an apron at first.
April 26, 2011 at 11:27 am
I’m just sad there wasn’t a ‘Who wore it better?’ feature for this…garment.
April 26, 2011 at 2:58 pm
I’d like to see Sad Hipster versus Russell ‘McGreasy’ Brand, personally.
April 26, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Yes…yes. I’d like to see David Bowie vs Iman as well though.
April 26, 2011 at 11:27 am
I love The Mountain shirts… but I don’t love this.
April 26, 2011 at 11:27 am
I was wondering if that was a turtle neck or a scrunched down snood at the neckline.
April 26, 2011 at 11:28 am
upcycled, ooak, grey/black tie dye wolf print t with attached high black leather collar
Ok, but what IS it?
April 26, 2011 at 11:40 am
It’s ONE OF A KIND. What more do you need to know? No one else in the WHOLE WORLD has anything like this.
April 26, 2011 at 11:42 am
Well fuck that. I only want to wear something like this if it’s going to earn me widespread social acceptance.
April 26, 2011 at 11:59 am
Obviously it’s a
moderntacky version of a Thneed.April 26, 2011 at 11:29 am
I want to know WHO WORE IT BETTER?
April 26, 2011 at 11:32 am
Disregard this I didn’t read the full thread. Replace with:
“M-O-O-N, that spells Twilight!”
April 26, 2011 at 11:42 am
How did Rob Lowe get away with absolutely no awards for that role? (please note the sarcasm)
April 26, 2011 at 12:43 pm
It doesn’t matter, Like most men, he’s hotter when he’s not speaking.
April 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm
I don’t know if you did it on purpose or if it’s just a co-winkie-dink, but the character in “The Stand” that said M-O-O-N spells ‘everything’ was named Tom Cullen. Or as I call him, Edward’s well written cousin.
April 26, 2011 at 6:34 pm
April 26, 2011 at 11:31 am
Looks like something Dexter would wear in the kill room. If he was totally lame.
April 26, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Dexter’s second brother, who wasn’t even cool enough to be on the show.
April 26, 2011 at 11:34 am
This would look perfect worn with some nice wolfy diapers. Where are the wolfy diapers? I got a prostate exam coming up.
April 26, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I would totally buy it for my grandmother to wear around the nursing home, especially if there were wolfy diapers to go with.
April 26, 2011 at 11:38 am
In an astonishing piece of synchronicity, I was literally just thinking that I wanted to buy a 3XL Three Wolf Moon tee and remake it into a lovely fitted dress.
Amazeballs.
April 26, 2011 at 11:38 am
I am tempted to buy this. I know someone who would never ever wear it and would, in fact, be horrified by its existence. Christmas is a ways off, but this would be worth saving…
April 26, 2011 at 10:36 pm
That is a brilliant idea. I want to steal it. We have a friend who buys a really, extremely, seriously worthless piece of crap every Christmas. We keep telling her not to buy us gifts, but she does it anyway. We’ve been looking for something really horrible to give her so she’ll stop it. This is perfect.
April 26, 2011 at 11:38 am
What? Those wolves aren’t all howling at the moon? What the fuck are we upcycling them for?
April 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm
They’re crying out to be released from their shame at being a part of that monstrisity.
Wolves have class. Wolf-Goodyear Tire Frankendresses do not, apparently.
April 26, 2011 at 11:39 am
Actually thinking about it, its ideal protection for when your Husky is giving birth, all that placenta and amniotic fluid just slides right off.
April 26, 2011 at 11:46 am
Rather than using the already prepared cardboard box, lined with an old mattress pad, my cat decided to pull shirts down from their hangers, and settle on the closet floor. They were my husband’s silk shirts. In the closet.
Any questions? Nobody? Didn’t think so.
April 26, 2011 at 11:55 am
I can’t help feeling you could sell them on Etsy though, there seems to be a market for that kind of thing. Description:
‘Each shirt is one of a kind, my cat and her kittens produced this art – a record if you will of the birth miracle. The first tiny paw prints of new life. 100% SILK NO RETURNS’
Something like that?
April 26, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Yes, yes it probably would work…if I had no morals or ethics, dagnabbit!
But, silly me, would feel too guilty. Curses!
April 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Tangent:
We read all the literature that said “Your cat will seek out a quiet dark place to have her litter.” And then our cat had them ON THE WOOD LIVING ROOM FLOOR. In broad daylight, surrounded by all the humans, as well as the Mastiff, and the father. (She did get up and stagger towards the fabric lined crate we’d set up for her at one point, but only because the father was investigating it, and she wasn’t okay with that.) Of course, the literature also said “First time litters are often 1-2 kittens.” And she had 6. So apparently she wasn’t reading the same literature we were.
April 26, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Mine are the same way. Crazy tortie definitely did not read the book that said spritzing her with water was a valid disciplinary method; instead she developed a terror of all spray bottles and is now MUCH harder to flea proof.
April 26, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Apparently my family didn’t read that literature, either. This is why we were surprised when our cat, whom we didn’t know was pregnant and hadn’t gained any noticeable weight, spontaneously had one kitten behind the couch one night. That was surprising.
April 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Ahem. The two newborn kittens of a friend’s cat were spotted behind her couch. Inside a bra.
April 26, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Yes, but was it barn wood?
April 26, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Spidey, my cat developed a similar spray-bottle phobia, and runs for the hills every time I clean my glasses.
April 26, 2011 at 7:25 pm
How about kitty giving birth under the covers in your child’s bed, while he was sleeping in it! He sue was surprised when he woke up!
Dark…. Check
Quiet… Check
Smells like teenage boy ass… Check
Perfect!
April 26, 2011 at 11:59 pm
I love that people are calling me Spidey now. I feel like some sort of sex-changed Peter Parker.
April 26, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Obviously your cat felt that this was a special occassion and would settle for nothing less than the good stuff.
April 26, 2011 at 2:54 pm
She felt she deserved a reward for breastfeeding.
April 26, 2011 at 11:39 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 26, 2011 at 11:42 am
I think you just answered your own question.
April 26, 2011 at 11:58 am
I would wear something like that with maybe skants.
“Why would anyone buy this?” Yes. But even more important, why would anyone make that?
Btw – curious to know what you think of this
http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/22/chestfully-clean/
regarding your recent issue the other day involving breast milk. Just curious to know if you see that as a waste or a WTF?
Thanks
Frau
April 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Anyone notice how not only is our buddy ark an endless font of inaccurate facts, but has the innate ability to state the obvious as well?
April 26, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Yeah, there’s excess ass here amirite?
April 26, 2011 at 11:40 am
Wait, so three wolf moon is upcyclable now? Damn I feel old.
April 26, 2011 at 11:41 am
as it drapes on that mannequin the only possible use would be for a Barbeque apron for a leather fetishist with a mullet and a goiter he’s trying to hide.
It doesn’t cover the right parts of the body for anything else.
April 26, 2011 at 11:41 am
I want it confirmed which species is intended to wear this. It’s hopelessly awkward on that mannequin, so I’m not convinced bipeds are the target demographic here.
The majestic moose, perhaps? Giraffes? Plant-eating dinosaurs?
Or maybe its for one of those “too horrible for the human mind to comprehend” critters that Lovecraft was always going on about.
April 26, 2011 at 5:45 pm
A Shoggoth would look absolutely darling in this. And with any luck, he’d get pissed that the wolves weren’t real and therefore couldn’t be consumed, and go after the seller instead.
April 26, 2011 at 11:41 am
These shirts are bad enough to begin with on their own….
I once went on a date with a guy who was really nice, turns out he wore his only shirt that wasnt tie dyed with animals on it that day…..needless to say I just couldn’t proceed because of the shirts.
Perhaps they should be selling these as chastity belt.
April 26, 2011 at 11:45 am
Three Wolves Birth Control – Protection by the pack!
April 26, 2011 at 11:47 am
Wolfskin lined, for no one’s pleasure.
April 26, 2011 at 11:48 am
Contraception so effective, you’ll howl with excitement.
April 26, 2011 at 3:10 pm
It’s definitely sex retardant.
April 26, 2011 at 11:49 am
Is that whitewashed imitation barnwood I see on the right hand side? Ka-ching!
April 26, 2011 at 11:49 am
What the hell is that thing?!
April 26, 2011 at 4:00 pm
You kids stay away from that thing. You don’t know where it’s been!
April 26, 2011 at 11:50 am
I personally think that this is amazing. Three wolves + moon = increases sexual prowess and fertility anyway. Couple that with it being a butt sling AND a cape thing all at once. How could you ask for anything more out of one garment. Oh… wait…. you could have never asked BUT THEY DELIVERED!!! It’s a bib too! So now when you are going to town devouring all the ladies in this amazing ensemble you don’t have to get worried about your pirate shirt getting dirty.
And if you get lost in the woods, the butt sling will take care of the lack of toilet paper, and be your own doggie bag so you don’t taint the world with your feces.
Fashion, function, form, three wolves… all in one amazing package to quiet any questions about your sanity and intelligence, while ensuring that you will never ever get laid again. Amazing.
April 26, 2011 at 3:09 pm
read that in the slap chop guy’s voice. “ya following me, camera man?”
April 26, 2011 at 11:51 am
That has got to be the largest and most detailed drool bib I’ve ever encountered. Where was this when my kids were teething?
April 26, 2011 at 11:57 am
I totally know what I’m wearing to the prom that I’m crashing this year!
April 26, 2011 at 11:57 am
Wolfman Jackoff Jumper?
April 26, 2011 at 12:01 pm
I think this thing would look best over this playsuit that the seller always has listed:
April 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm
I think I’m missing the unisex part of this.
April 26, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Well, I’m not convinced it would fit anybody.
This person needs a sewing machine intervention! Somebody, please step in and confiscate that thing, stat.
April 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm
I can’t decide if that is the front or back of a person. On one hand, clavicles and treasure trail. On the other, illusion of front butt. Arms are a wild card. Help me.
April 26, 2011 at 12:12 pm
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who can’t figure that out. It looks like Broken Back Barbie; all clavicles and bum!
April 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm
I’ll bet if you walk around this person in a slow circle, there is no face. Just hair and tragedy, all the way around.
April 26, 2011 at 12:25 pm
HAIR AND TRAGEDY!! LMFAO!!!!!!!
April 26, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Hair and tragedy is my Cure cover band.
April 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm
I’m mostly sure it’s a guy…
April 26, 2011 at 12:58 pm
nothing says “Male” like gang-esque LA tattoos, floral print, rick-rack trim, and a flattering belly-baring hem line! sexy!
April 26, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Do you think this is one of those poor Etsy boyfriends?
April 26, 2011 at 8:06 pm
What the horrendous, knife-involved fuck is this? What is going on here? This looks like zombie Jesus for real.
April 27, 2011 at 3:05 am
Kate Moss has really let herself go.
April 26, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Oh.
This is one of those times when I feel a desperate panic at how little I understand about the world.
April 26, 2011 at 4:44 pm
I would have thought that particular lack of understanding was comfort- rather than panic-inducing.
April 26, 2011 at 12:53 pm
And when I see this freak of nature with the backward arms, wearing a thing like this…The conversation can only go downhill.
April 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm
This looks like something a hipster would wear to a non-denominational bris.
April 26, 2011 at 1:28 pm
OMG! Until I saw the belly button, I thought this was his back. Or is that a dimple in his back? Someone! Which way is he facing?!
April 26, 2011 at 2:06 pm
“Get your hands outta your pockets! You’re making us all nervous about what is gonna come out of there!”
April 26, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Unisex, in this case, is sort for universal sex-repellent.
April 26, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Playsuit, huh? What are we playing? Sewing While Shitfaced?
April 26, 2011 at 3:12 pm
I honestly can’t tell if this is the back or front of someone.
April 26, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Shit!! I thought my Walmart back boob post was disturbing and stomach churning.
I tip my hat to you. Well played.
April 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Oh the back was disturbing, but this was jaw dropping. I figured there’s a reason we don’t see his face.
April 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm
This would be great for those mornings when I wake up with beer shits. And if I wore it to bed, the collar could catch any barf! Stellar idea, champ!
April 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm
I suspect something like this is what they had in mind… but what a large gap between vision and execution!
April 26, 2011 at 3:37 pm
There is an entire crevasse between the vision and execution. “And then instead of the sequined T-strap on the back that holds it all together, I’m going to make a giant leather elizabethan ruff, and let it all hang out.”
I assume the front of that dress also has 4 wolves on it, and that’s where they got the idea.
April 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Is it a bib? I have some red-neck BBQs coming up. How fashionable would I be? One is a wedding reception and leather is classy.
April 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Lucky for you, this can be use multi-purpose
April 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Unisex AND Multipurpose! Winning!
April 26, 2011 at 12:10 pm
Can someone with photoshop skills please refashion this into skants? Oh man. Please.
April 26, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Sadly, my sons adore Mountain shirts (they’re 10 and 7, and my mother buys them at a boutique, so apparently to her that makes them less trailer park). I hate the damn things, because for some ungodly reason the creatures always look freaky (for example, there’s a crying eagle shirt, and a sad looking dragon clutching a skull).
But ya know – I think I’ll have to relax my “No Mountain Shirts to School” rule now that I’ve seen it can be worse. So very, very much worse.
April 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Taylor Lautner has a prostate?
April 26, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Only his gynecologist knows for sure.
April 26, 2011 at 12:32 pm
I do believe this would hang much more enticingly off my pannus than my current caftan wardrobe.
April 26, 2011 at 2:54 pm
They have a People of Walmart about that, too. I’m just code dumb and haven’t yet figured out how to embed an image. Panus underneath a skirt, encased in fishnethosery.
April 26, 2011 at 12:33 pm
For your next lupineoscopy.
April 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I can’t bring myself to do it, but will somebody PLEASE message the “artist” and ask her what the holy fuck this thing is supposed to be? I won’t be able to get anything done today until I know! This will seriously cut into my drinking time…
April 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm
The background with the ropes gives it a certain “I would wear this to my own hanging” kind of look.
April 26, 2011 at 12:50 pm
It’s a cowl/hoodie/halter/tshirt/dress you can use multipurpose.
April 26, 2011 at 12:55 pm
It has the smell.
April 26, 2011 at 4:08 pm
I read that as “It’s a cow hoodie…” and it actually made perfect sense.
April 26, 2011 at 12:56 pm
The ideal thing for those who can’t bare to part with an old tee shirt or those who won’t use it for a rag… make it into an uglier rag. Who in their right mind would buy and wear that? I wouldn’t even sleep in that shit!
April 26, 2011 at 5:53 pm
I might. But only if the air-condition was broken and I had a decent nightgown lying next to me on the bed, in the event the house caught on fire and I had to make an unplanned exit.
April 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm
I believe this is one of those “Let me see if I can TRY to get on regretsy” items.
April 26, 2011 at 1:31 pm
I used to feel that way when I’d see a post like this. I’d think, “This is a troll, a joke from the seller. Surely nothing this bad could be for real. I should give these people more credit.”
Whenever I think “I should give these people more credit,” it’s such a red flag. I inevitably think later, “I gave these people too much credit.”
April 26, 2011 at 1:55 pm
The open back is PERFECT for displaying one’s tramp stamp and bacne on those drunken, late night Wal-Mart excursions.
Warning: Don’t underestimate the mystic powers of this shirt. The wolves can summon dangerous spirits from the lower astral plane. If you are not able to handle ancestral snake demons, never wear it to a Santana concert!
April 26, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Okay, from the same seller’s shop, this one has “Meth Lab” in the title. I know, it’s all about getting more hits and it’s got a thousand word essay for a title but I have to ask:
WHO THE FUCK SHOPS FOR METH LABS ON ETSY?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/72683076/vintage-1980s-harley-davidson-of-texas?ref=v1_other_2
April 26, 2011 at 2:33 pm
You peaked my curiosity so I searched it. I found the auto reply amusing:
“We didn’t find anything for meth lab.
Try a popular search query like hair feathers, turquoise, engagement ring, feather extensions, wall decal, feather hair extensions, steampunk, owl, or deathly hallows necklace instead.”
Etsy thinks I mispelled meth lab because I was looking for dealthy hallows necklace? Meth cookers have feather hair extensions? Steampunk only makes sense if you are doped up on meth? And I thought all meth was good for was missing/nasty teeth, pocked faces and weight loss.
April 26, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Steampunk probably comes up for all searches, since so many people use it as a tag.
April 26, 2011 at 5:43 pm
“We didn’t find ANYTHING?” As in, “nothing at all?” Not even this?
Please tell me all these strings of words sellers go to all the trouble of sorting out and opening thesauruses (thesaurusi?) for are amounting to dick all. Please.
April 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm
I just wannna meet the owls running the lab. Perhaps since they’re on this stuff, that would explain the feathers suggestions (3 different ones).
April 26, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Do you think if I went to a festival where they have those tents that Indian’s set up with big Americana throws, t’s, flute music, and bootleg purses and dvd’s I’d be able to find one of these in hot pink?
April 26, 2011 at 2:48 pm
It would be really cute over a pair of black skinny jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt. Oh wait. I was thinking a pair of black skinny jeans and long sleeved black t-shirt would be cute. This is godawful.
April 26, 2011 at 3:01 pm
This thing is actually kind of useful. You can pull the hood over your face like a mask if anyone sees you wear it.
April 26, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Are there ties that I’m not seeing? How does this fit all unisex sizes? Is it because it doesn’t cover anything in the back anyway?
April 26, 2011 at 4:10 pm
It stops being “leather” when it starts being your mom’s purse…
April 26, 2011 at 6:15 pm
and THIS is why I’ve always been “Team Edward”
April 26, 2011 at 7:03 pm
so tell me how much will $20.00 get me?
April 26, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I wish I could get a 3 (or 4) wolf moon shirt here — I could be all hipster and wear it ironically with my skinny jeans and soy chai lattes.
April 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm
These are all just cheap imitations, I have the vintage original in one of my Etsy shops.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/65085648/vintage-1980s-italian-legendary-three
April 26, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Hey; be kind – this artist noted that this item
“should fit all unisex sizes”. One never knows what will be shown on the flipside. This could be a story for another day.
April 26, 2011 at 9:46 pm
It amazes me how close this comes to being kinda cool and something an ironic hipster would actually wear. The obviously put “some” “effort” into the making, even hot gluing some shoe laces for ties in the back would have made it perfect.
April 26, 2011 at 10:25 pm
At first i was like “cute skirt!”
Then i was like
April 26, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Even with all of your suggestions, I’m still back to “just what the hell is this thing anyway?”.
April 26, 2011 at 11:21 pm
“Should fit all sizes”? I hope it does! Except perhaps if you have a very, very big head.
April 27, 2011 at 12:40 am
So is the top neck bit trying to emulate one of those cones they put on a dog after they neuter it?
April 27, 2011 at 2:44 am
In Soviet Russia, you moon three wolves.
April 27, 2011 at 5:54 am
“any questions please ask”
ANY QUESTIONS??
you’re in for a long week,lady
April 27, 2011 at 7:49 am
That’s just silly! Taylor is much too young for a prostate exam; he wears this out clubbing!
April 27, 2011 at 9:58 am
why did this take so long