50 Ways to Love Your Vulva (NSFW)
Just lazer your labe, babe
Vajazzle your pud, bud
Tidy your box, Fox
And I’ll make you a bowl
Just powder your flaps, chaps
And neaten the crack, Jack
Perfume your bits, Fritz
And show me your hole
- Paul Hymen
April 23, 2011 at 12:34 pm
What is this. I don’t even.
April 23, 2011 at 12:34 pm
So, if I love my vulva, I should want to eat cereal out of it?
April 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm
No, you should want to eat something warm and comforting, like soup, out of your lady bits.
April 23, 2011 at 1:28 pm
That’s it, no more chicken corn chowder for me until someone passes the brain bleach!
April 23, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Also, if you are going to be eating cereal out of this bowl, you have to use breast milk.
April 23, 2011 at 6:05 pm
for 650 bucks that bitch better make me a sammich.
April 23, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Tomato soup. With cheese.
April 23, 2011 at 1:13 pm
No, sausages. And for lunch perhaps beanie weanies?
April 23, 2011 at 1:25 pm
I thought she meant we’re supposed to smoke out of it. That thing doesn’t look like a bowl so I thought it was a piece head-on.
Besides, the ancient egyptians fumigated their vaginas, and I think we all know that ancient stuff is better.
April 23, 2011 at 2:34 pm
damn it 420 was the other day i guess i can buy for next year!
April 23, 2011 at 8:19 pm
April 23, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 23, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I wouldn’t want to eat my cornflakes in the morning and see this gurning at me…
April 23, 2011 at 12:46 pm
I read that as “wouldn’t want to eat my cornflakes in the morning and see this ‘grinning’ at me”, which sent me into hysterics. Hysterics – how appropriate!
April 23, 2011 at 12:50 pm
100 points for alternate use of gurn.
April 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
off topic, sorry.
But your avatars are all so similarity.
April 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm
It’s almost like we’re all the same person…
April 25, 2011 at 12:44 am
so I think it should be YOU avatars are all so similarity
and also…
this bowl? it is for multipurpose
April 23, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I call shenanigoats. This wombyn has got to be pandering to her audience, and laughing cruelly at the fools that buy such a thing.
lease..just leave me to my delusions. I’m happy here.
April 23, 2011 at 12:38 pm
It just needs some googly eyes.
April 23, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Because EVERYTHING can be improved with googly eyes! And a fake mustache!
April 23, 2011 at 12:39 pm
I’d forgotten about this. AND I WISH I HADN’T BEEN REMINDED.
April 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm
She has a rectocele.
April 23, 2011 at 3:19 pm
After inquiring with Google and learning/seeing more than I ever needed to know about rectoceles, I think you’re right!
April 23, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Guh, every time it seems like maybe I’ve gotten over all the gross, unpleasant, and painful things that can happen to my body or organs from having a baby, I hear about something new, like a rectocele. I just grimaced at wikipedia for a solid minute and . . . yeah, once again thinking that I’m really not going to want to give birth anytime soon.
And more on topic, why would you want to eat out of a vagina bowl? Seems the spoon scraping against the craters and divets would be frustrating. Or maybe this is just supposed to go on your vagina shrine alter.
April 23, 2011 at 11:39 pm
And now I have yet another reason to never procreate.
April 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Damn! How could I have missed that diagnosis…it was staring in my eyes!!!
(I was thinking in the line of fungal infection that caused discoloration.)
May 1, 2011 at 6:13 pm
omg. so. Not only is it a likeness of an actual vajayjay, it is also one with a kind of disease? I mean, this Diva must have lots to choose from if she does it on commission? WHY pick THIS one?
April 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Shit. Now I’ve got that song stuck in my head…
Slip out in back, Jack
Slam her big ham, Sam
Don’t need to be slow, Roy
Just slam into me….
April 23, 2011 at 1:16 pm
You forgot “Make a bowl of my bajingo, Ringo”
April 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm
The shop is called TouchingArt. I don’t think I want her touching anything of mine, not even my art.
And, wow, everything in her shop is overpriced.
April 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Do you think her name is really Diva, or is that her title?
How do I get that title?! I must be Diva Prynsess.
April 23, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Oh she’s a diva all right. Do you really want to know what kind of a Diva she is??
April 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Ironically, people who use the title “Diva” socially usually wear sexy outfits, high heels, and duct tape to keep their hoo-hoos hidden.
April 23, 2011 at 1:06 pm
And that last part is because the hoo-hoos they have aren’t the hoo-hoos you or they want you to think they have. Shanghai surprise!
April 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm
At least she isn’t a “goddess.”
April 23, 2011 at 1:20 pm
There are no ys in that word. You are kicked out of the wombyn club.
April 23, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Seriously. It’s “goddyss.” Get it right, or no bowljingos for you.
April 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Hmm. And all the while I’ve associated Ys with male genome. Awkward.
April 23, 2011 at 7:00 pm
But her Art has Magical Powers. Surely that’s worth extra bucks. AND it makes you feel Love and Pleasure. They charge high prices for that without throwing in ugly pottery.
April 23, 2011 at 8:47 pm
She probably makes them when the moon is at its strongest power (I’d say a level 4), says some empowering mantras, and probably mixes some of her wombn fluid in the clay or glaze. I have worked with wombyn like this and they have some bad shit in the closet, or something. Fer Sure.
April 24, 2011 at 2:44 am
Speaking of the magical powers, if this liitle mess heals the galaxy, why am I getting a zit? False advertising.
April 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm
What in the actual fuck…
April 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm
It looks more like those anatomy book illustrations that show the body from the side with half cut away so you can see the internal organs. Maybe I just need to look closer to get the vulva affect?
April 23, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I don’t think it’s a vulva at all. I think she messed up the bottom of the bowl and had to come up with a story to sell it.
April 23, 2011 at 1:08 pm
I second that motion. That would also expalin why it is BLUE. I may have the color in my name but not in my bits & pieces, thank you very much!
April 23, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I really shouldn’t bring up blue waffle here, but, well; there ya’ go.
You’re welcome.
April 23, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I on the other hand, am blue all over
April 23, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Yeah, I was thinking it kind of looks like a woman peeing out her entrails. Which, while an awesome feat of urinary athletics, is still gross.
April 23, 2011 at 12:47 pm
I’m thinking scrambled eggs and tomato ketchup as the meal of choice for this bowl
April 23, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Just avoid tapioca pudding or clam chowder.
April 24, 2011 at 5:07 am
stay away from cottage cheese
April 23, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Mac n’ cheese??
April 23, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Cream of molokhia (it’s light green and gooey) with a Slight Touch of Dill.
April 23, 2011 at 12:48 pm
This is like the weirdest deja vu ever. I feel like I’ve just seen this, and just seen all these comments like a week ago, but they’re definitely all from today. Of all the things to have a premonition about, a labia bowl. Nice.
April 23, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Huh. Talk about finding a surprise in your cereal in the morning.
April 23, 2011 at 7:47 pm
It would be kind of fun to spring on a dinner guest though. Just imagine the reaction when they got to the end of the soup course… or even better a spaghetti dinner!
April 23, 2011 at 12:49 pm
I wonder if the sculptor ever decided to make a plate in the same vein. If so, I’m sure it got used to serve blue waffles… (I’m a horrible human being for writing that.)
April 23, 2011 at 12:50 pm
i don’t think i get the logistics of this…
would i be eating out of vulva or would you custom make this so i could eat out my own?
perfect for guacamole….what a hot mess THAT would be.
April 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Do I have to make the mold for this myself? And if so, can I have it back afterwards? I love my vulva so much I want to stamp it into the wet concrete when we pour our new driveway.
April 23, 2011 at 2:17 pm
I love my vulva but I’m not IN love with my vulva. Does that mean I can’t have a bowl, or just that I can’t heal galaxies of unchallenged pain and frustration?
If I fall in love with my vulva, will it want me to be monogamous? Will I have to stop using other body parts, like my brain?
April 23, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I wouldn’t even say I “love” my vulva. It functions as it should, and I’m grateful for that. But I hardly coo at it.
April 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Thank you so much for the mental image of a womyn cradling a little vulva wrapped in a pink blanket going “And who’s a cute little vulva, then? Is it you? You know it is!”
April 23, 2011 at 7:26 pm
What I don’t understand is why womyn (is that the plural as well?) have such needy lovelorn vulvas, mine is happy if I manage to wash it almost everyday,
April 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I just saw that it’s “wombn” now which is even worse, especially that it reads as wom-bin in my brain.
April 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm
“Wombn” makes my eye twitch. I’m a person, not an incubator.
April 23, 2011 at 1:35 pm
yea, but then can’t we call guys “scrotmen”?
April 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Scrotmen for the win.
April 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Do scrotmen all speak in a Sean Connery accent?
April 23, 2011 at 12:55 pm
“honey, come on, i’ve got the condoms and the lube and everything ready…”
“DON’T YOU JUDGE ME AND MY VULVA.”
“i… what? no, i’m not judging… i love your vulva…”
“THEN EAT OUT OF IT.” *forks over bowl*
“um… can’t we just have sex?”
“I KNEW IT! YOU HATE MY VULVA!” *runs off crying*
April 23, 2011 at 5:56 pm
April 23, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Is wombn a real thing? Do people actually say that?
April 23, 2011 at 1:14 pm
In the immortal words of the Doctor: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
April 23, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Shudders. Do people also actually spell is magik?
I feel like I’ve been in a bubble.
April 23, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Yup. They add the K to differentiate between what they do and what people with top hats and rabbits and metals hoops and cards do.
Stage conjurers everywhere are thankful.
April 23, 2011 at 7:33 pm
lemon bombs are you serious? I thought spelling it magick was a joke, like putting “Ye olde” in front of something.
April 23, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Yup, Lemonbomb is serious. That’s really what they do. I believe very strongly in the ability to alter your world, via YOUR perception – supposedly magic, but that magick drives me fucking nuts.
April 23, 2011 at 1:20 pm
OH NO. Are the only sane (sort of) people left all on Regretsy? It is a scary worlk out there.
April 23, 2011 at 1:22 pm
‘for deciding to mingle your juiciness with our Sacred Circle!’
I can’t even…
April 23, 2011 at 1:34 pm
“we know
the most stunning achievements will cum
from the womb-Light in you,
neither of us has yet imagined.”
And now that your poem has forced me to imagine it, I’m going to need a rigorous course of psychotropic medication.
April 23, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Where do you buy a womb-Light? Mine doesn’t glow.
April 23, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I think you have to squeeze it, like those old Glow worm dolls from the 80s.
April 23, 2011 at 2:14 pm
You don’t need a womb light if you have a womb with a view.
I’m so sorry.
April 23, 2011 at 5:56 pm
is it a coincidence that the first few lines of the “poem” start with W-T-F?
April 23, 2011 at 6:52 pm
As many magickal practitioners would remind you, there ARE no coincidences.
April 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm
If I ever see someone spell “woman” as “wombn” again, I’m going to cut a bitch. What kind of insecure white-lighter new-age bullshittery is that? I’m a woman, I’m confident enough in my womanyness and my fantastic bajingo (really, we get along great. No bowls needed) to be just fine with a word that still includes “man” and doesn’t make allusions to a part of my body I generally try to forget I even have at least one week out of the month.
I mean, for fuck’s sake.
April 23, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I had an english professor that made us all write “hu” (short for human) in place of he or she in essays….
April 23, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Aaaand that’s how stupid shit like this gets started.
April 23, 2011 at 7:03 pm
I would’ve staged some kind of epic protest. An English professor WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. There’s so much wrong with that whole thing.
April 23, 2011 at 8:18 pm
That’s right up there with a science professor insisting on teaching creationism.
April 23, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Wait… there are people who actually spell it wombn.. I thought it was an unfortunate spelling error.
And.. please don’t put this sort on shittery in with new age.. my bajingo is not adorned on a bowl.. or necklace for that matter.
April 23, 2011 at 6:16 pm
For the love of pizza —!
What they hell is wrong with people?
Man. Woman. They get only one syllable, but we get two! See? it’s all in how you look at it.
April 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm
This was the priceless relic that the Nazis were after in “Indivana Jones and the Temple of Womb.”
April 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm
As a Pagan I’m deeply offended by her calling these “Ritual” bowls. I don’t know any Pagan that has this shit on their alter & if they do they should be ashamed. That’s a crappy way to offer to the gods. It isn’t like they want to see your pussy lips all up in their honey & milk offerings.
I also want to do her bodily harm for spelling woman wombyn. I promise my entire life does not revolve around my vulva, my lips, or my birth canal. I’ll cut the next bitch that implies it!
April 23, 2011 at 1:19 pm
I’ve seen ‘em. Seriously. I have a penis and if I want to keep it, I’m not allowed to comment on them. I’m not allowed to know the Wombn’s Mysteries. I can, however, mock the fuckin’ glitter (and yes, I had to re-type that so it didn’t start with a ‘c’) out of them whenever I’m not around Those People.
April 23, 2011 at 2:05 pm
I’m so sorry. We don’t really call them Pagans. We call them fruitcakes, nutters, a few pennies shy of a fountain, and several more descriptive things.
I don’t fathom the nuts it takes for most of those little “Wombn’s Mysteries” things. There’s not a “Man’s Mysteries” to balance it so isn’t the female only form just as bad as the male only patriarchy they’re normally bitching about? My logic is no match for their stupid, my head hurts now.
April 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I just read that as “a few penises short of a fountain”
Made me giggle, then start picturing the fountain in”Roman Holiday”.
April 23, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I’d love to discuss things off-topic from this with you. And yes, I’m being totally serious about that.
April 23, 2011 at 8:51 pm
@Technocowboy, I’m on the forums if you want to kick the religion football around.
April 23, 2011 at 1:22 pm
“I also want to do her bodily harm for spelling woman wombyn. I promise my entire life does not revolve around my vulva, my lips, or my birth canal. I’ll cut the next bitch that implies it!”
I couldn’t agree more. That whole neo-feminist thing that they are doing (or whatever it is) is ironically anti-feminine. We are more than our anatomy.
What a fucking douchecanoe.
April 23, 2011 at 1:31 pm
This lady isn’t just a douchecanoe, she’s a freakin’ douche kayak.
April 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Iono, this could be into douche schooner levels by now.
April 23, 2011 at 8:35 pm
@butts lol – maybe even douche aircraft carrier level?
April 23, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Douche Armada!
April 23, 2011 at 2:48 pm
I think “ritual” is code for “I made this thing into a bowl, but it’s not good for anything”.
April 23, 2011 at 3:24 pm
And dusting would be a bitch.
April 23, 2011 at 6:41 pm
The seller might be horrified at the blow to divine purpose, but I support your right to use a vacuum instead.
April 24, 2011 at 2:12 am
Was that a boom boom?
Vacuuming? A blow?
April 23, 2011 at 1:07 pm
The problem is that it doesn’t look like vulva.
April 23, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Hell’s bells. JUST MASTURBATE, YA HIPPIE TWITS!
April 23, 2011 at 2:06 pm
I think you used that “i” by mistake. These are clearly hippie TWATS.
April 23, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Um, so if I love my vulva, I have to squash it into a mold? No thanks…I don’t want my next love interest to say I have him road rash cuz I didn’t pick out all the plaster!
April 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Not have…GAVE!! Sorry. I’m drinking wine.
April 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Right now, I think you might like to hear something from us, nice and easy. But there’s one thing you see, we never, ever do nothing, nice and easy. We always do it nice and rough….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54XRNQ2C2x0
April 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Lucky.
April 23, 2011 at 2:01 pm
according to diva sister nejah, only if you are IN love with your vulva. The sad part is breaking it to your lady parts:
Dear vulva,
I love you, but I’m not IN love with you. Remember the good times, like the first time we met. I still want to be friends, and we can still play. I’ll only ever have one vulva. Don’t be sad. It’s not you, it’s me. *I* don’t want *your* likeness staring at me from beneath some milk and fruit loops. You look back on this some day and be grateful
April 23, 2011 at 2:25 pm
sorry! double post!
April 23, 2011 at 1:18 pm
My husband would like to know why no one is offering custom portraits of his balls.
April 23, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Convo her!
April 23, 2011 at 1:19 pm
Does anyone really wake up one day with their vulva speaking to them, demanding “If you really loved me you’d prove it by casting my likeness in ceramics.” Me, I like to practice my vulva love by not letting anything remotely near it that might cause some kind of itch which I’m just going to assume includes the casting materials used to make this kind of thing.
April 23, 2011 at 3:26 pm
You never call….
April 23, 2011 at 7:54 pm
I’m sorry, but the day my vulva begins speaking to me, I’m checking into Belleview…
April 23, 2011 at 1:20 pm
The more I look at it, the more I see two legs and a hand reaching up between them to grab at the poorly sculpted snatch with its thumb.
April 23, 2011 at 1:32 pm
ROFLMAO…I see it! It’s like the man it the moon. Once you know what to look for, you can see it!
April 23, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Wouldn’t this be more like the “man in the poon”?
April 23, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Depends on the angle, of course.
April 23, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Just exactly what is the image that she is using for her header .gif on her shop? I’m deeply disturbed.
April 23, 2011 at 1:25 pm
…Okay, I looked at this again, and suddenly I saw a wrinkly old bald man, and now I can’t unsee it. So I decided to share.
The vulva is his ear.
April 23, 2011 at 1:27 pm
OMG It’s Buddha with his huge earlobes! NAMASTE, BITCHES!
April 23, 2011 at 1:42 pm
oh god, that poor woman, I would hate to find a wrinkled old man all up in my vulva
April 23, 2011 at 2:21 pm
You’re young yet. Give it time, you will.
April 23, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Alfred Hitchcock presents…
your lady bits.
April 23, 2011 at 8:15 pm
I was thinking Winston Churchill.
April 23, 2011 at 1:26 pm
And yet, if a bloke made a cock vase it would be “sexist” or “disgusting”. Double standards FTW!
April 23, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Does Daniel Webster realize he left out lots of ways to spell woman in his dictionary? I thought he was smart and all. fail.
April 24, 2011 at 6:49 am
No, there were just fewer “indigo children” back then.
April 23, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Jecca – bowljingo is my new favorite word.
Just rolls off the tongue.
April 23, 2011 at 1:42 pm
I second that. A fantastic creation. Much better than the bowl itself.
If this wasn’t already a bit old, I would wonder if the maker hasn’t tripped a little on Rebecca Black’s famous quote “Gotta have my bowl”.
April 23, 2011 at 1:37 pm
“No vulvas were harmed in the making of this bowl”…or…maybe the “ritual” involved sacrifice, and that’s why it’s so expensive…?!
April 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Yeah, sweet Jesus, it’s one thing to make a hideous bowl and try to sell it on Etsy as a “vulva portrait ritual bowl,” it’s entirely another thing when you attempt to charge $650 for it
April 23, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I’m perfectly fine with all my lady bits. I don’t need to use bowls, wear jackets, or show off necklaces with them emblazoned on it.
On another note- Why is it ok for Etsy to spew vulva love but no love for the cock/balls? Is it because those are hanging out for the world to see already?
Hanging out= bad?
April 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Oh honey. Would that it were true. Try this one on for size.
Then go do a search on etsy for penis or cock or whatever other term you fancy. They are getting love up the wazoo, have no fear.
April 23, 2011 at 3:01 pm
The link, if you’re interested….
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44634930/mature-content-giant-penis-sculpture
April 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm
There is, apparently, a LOT more going on in Omaha, Nebraska than one would think. Who knew?
April 23, 2011 at 6:24 pm
There is this. I wonder where you would wear these. And why.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/71437264/sex-ed-earrings-with-sterling-silver?ref=sr_gallery_26&ga_search_query=mature+penis&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
Plus, there are a variety of kitchen linens that have surprise penises. No kidding.
April 23, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Mine doesn’t look like that! Is it supposed to look like that??!!!
April 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Mine doesn’t look like that either, but for $650, it should be able to look like anything we want. As long as our girly-whos don’t leave a mason-jar thumbprint, it’s all good.
April 23, 2011 at 8:38 pm
For $650, the fucker should be made of fuckin’ platinum.
April 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Does it come as a set? Perfect for Thanksgiving; way more expensive then grandma’s fine china (which means way more classy as well).
April 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm
For $600 i really feel like i should get more than just the bowl. It should be more like a set. Please include the clitoris coffee plates, taint tumblers, ass glasses, and toss my salad plates so i can add this to my bridal registry.
April 23, 2011 at 4:34 pm
NOT ENOUGH THUMBS UP!!!!!!!
April 23, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I already went through the trouble to drag these out for another post, so here you go:
April 23, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Here Grandma, have a nice warm bowl of potato soup…
April 23, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I like coming home from getting a brazillian and vajazzling to this. Except that it highlights how much I must truly hate my vulva to have put it through what I did today.
April 23, 2011 at 2:29 pm
From my girlfriend’s reactions, I can imagine good cunnilingus goes a long way toward making up for it.
April 23, 2011 at 7:37 pm
It makes up for pretty much anything.
April 23, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Says it’s a rice bowl, but it smells like a bread bowl.
April 23, 2011 at 2:38 pm
This is a 4 inch by 5 inch pinch pot with a blue and black twiddle in the middle.
I just realized something.
I am not charging nearly enough for the bowls in my shop.
April 23, 2011 at 2:49 pm
One day I was having a particularly painful episode of constipation (hey, ya know, that sort of shit happens. Or doesn’t. Anyway). I remember thinking, Jesus fuck, this is a galaxy of pain I’m in right here.
And I remember thinking, well if only I were more in love with my vulva.
April 23, 2011 at 3:42 pm
Wow. You too?
April 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Maybe that’ll look like a vulva if I have a few shots and tilt my head enough.
April 23, 2011 at 3:11 pm
I think Wombn may be my new favorite alternate spelling. It’s slightly more pretentious than Womyn, and manages to include the name of a part of the female anatomy used for babymaking. Winning!
April 23, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Well if the name for the female gender is reduced to becoming a bastardization of a basic breeding function, does that mean that the female of any species with a womb is also a wombn?
Damn but it’s going to be confusing not being able to tell when people are referring to female humans, and when they are talking about female chipmunks.
She did WHAT with her teeth?
April 23, 2011 at 6:27 pm
The closest you can come to wombn in nature is the Australian Wombat. Which is a marsupial. Which means it gives birth to live embryonic young who then have to crawl from the vagina up to their mother’s pouch, crawl in, latch onto a tit, and spend the next 5-6 months nursing non-stop till they get big enough to come out.
While I love Australian animals (they all look like they were put together by someone with a lot of leftover parts who lost the design manual), I do not want to be compared to one.
April 23, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Wombats are awesome… I love the platypus too. Not only is it bizarre looking, it lays eggs, and the males are venomous!
April 24, 2011 at 2:15 am
Which doesn’t have a womb. Ah nature, you saucy minx.
April 24, 2011 at 6:49 am
Or a vagina :0
Sorry. I’m a recovering biologist.
April 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm
That vulva looks like a penis.
April 23, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Sweet zombie Jesus but her shit is expensive.. and I almost mean that literally… how long before we get fecal ritual bowls, just perfect for your morning shreddies
April 23, 2011 at 4:25 pm
For Christ’s sake. Judy Chicago already took the whole ceramic vulva thing as far as it can possibly go in 1979. What’s the point of “twat art” in this day and age? See http://www.brooklynmuseum.org/eascfa/dinner_party/place_settings/
April 23, 2011 at 4:29 pm
It’s just so horribly ironic-feminists have been fighting for over a century now to attain a status in society that allows them to be more than walking wombs, and these hippie twatmonkeys want to define women as nothing more than walking wombs! And, personally, I would feel a lot better about my contribution to the sisterhood if I donated $600 to Women to Women International, rather than buying a bowl with something that might or might not be my ladybits pushed into the bottom. But that’s just me.
April 23, 2011 at 4:44 pm
The lyrics at the bottom played along to this in my head. I’m really not sure why.
April 23, 2011 at 4:46 pm
hmmmmmm, bowljingo?
Alex, I’ll take synonym fuckery for $1000!
twatray, cuntchina, beaveramekin, potteryoni, muffin pan…
April 23, 2011 at 5:37 pm
My God! These would be *perfect* for my plan to stage la cage aux folles with an all female cast!
Just imagine how right this is for the dinner scene!
April 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm
April 23, 2011 at 6:10 pm
So, now I’m supposed to eat out “OF” her…OK never mind. This isn’t going to get any less ugly. Please forgive me and try to remember I AM a bush hog.
April 23, 2011 at 6:20 pm
I am wondering about the real purpose of this bowl. It’s like looking at a reflection in the toilet. Is this supposed to be a chamber pot? Some sort of ritual pee-cup?
Baffled.
April 23, 2011 at 6:47 pm
You must be new here… http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/25/red-tent-event/
April 23, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Not new…but OMG too horrible to contemplate.
At least it isn’t glazed red.
April 23, 2011 at 7:24 pm
150 comments and not yet:
Can I lick the bowl?
My work is done here.
April 23, 2011 at 7:44 pm
but.. where’s the vulva?
April 23, 2011 at 8:25 pm
It’s probably in the garage, broken down again. You might be better off with a Saab.
April 23, 2011 at 11:42 pm
This bowl is perfect for serving oysters and clams: no need for the shell, The only problem for your guests is that the final oyster is stuck to the bottom. The music playing as you serve the oysters? “Vaginal Mystery Tour” by the Rutles, of course.
April 24, 2011 at 12:27 am
I hate people who use the “word” “wombn”. Like seriously ladies, what makes you think that’s empowering? If I wanted to be dehumanized and reduced to a womb on legs, I’d become a Mormon.
April 24, 2011 at 3:24 am
Ha, I almost said in my comment, “Gee, it’s like they want to reduce women to nothing more than ambulatory wombs. Maybe they’re secretly Republicans*?”
*Note-I know and love many Republicans, some of whom are even sane. It’s just the current extremist direction re women’s and gay rights that the leadership is taking that i have an issue with.
April 24, 2011 at 4:57 am
Apparently the sacred diva of the holy temple of… how the hell do you prononouce this? let’s say wombyn, so, she forgot to add one more way, perhaps the most important one : “give us $650″.
Hey, when you think about a galaxy of pain, it doesn’t look so expensive after all.
April 24, 2011 at 9:20 am
What size is the smell?
January 9, 2012 at 11:41 pm
That’s a portrait of her vulva? What did she DO to it?