Was huge in the eighties for hot pink taffeta dresses…with asymmetric hems that were actually hemmed (she references an earlier item posted, ahem, cough).
Can we EVER get a picture of an ass on here without someone saying it’s fat?
At this point, it’s not even about sex selling or accurate portrayal of healthy women’s bodies in the media, it’s just been done SO MANY TIMES. If you can’t be accurate, at least be original, ffs.
At that point, why bother? Just go nude. That model has some nice curves and would look better nude than like she’s had an accident with an exercise tension band.
Well, a strong current won’t pull it off, but eventually, the whole thing will just spontaneously explode under it’s own pressure. Just like preteen boys, actually…
Yeah this is one of those cases where the fit of the garment makes the body look bad. Shes not fat at all but those are so horribly tight its creating massive muffin top.
It reminds me of all the girls in my high school that couldnt accept that they arent a size 2 but squeezed into them anyways making them look fat even though they werent. Dress your body type!
Also where is the ruching?!? Did it ever exist or did it get flattened out by her squeezing into these?
Bold as Brash Brendamouse
April 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Anything that is actually in your butt crack and essential ly lifts and separates your butt cheeks has got to be uncomfortable. Add sand to that. shudder.
The ad beside the picture is currently “Only in San Antonio! The best prices on the best eats in your city!” The picture is three double meat hamburgers stacked on top of each other. I’m assuming they matched the pixels in the photo for the correct fit. “32, 24, OhShit”
If that was flattering, it wouldn’t bother me… It just isn’t ideal to strap an elastic bungee cord around your ass and call it a bikini,,,but if that is what CaraMiya of Maui thinks looks like a well fitting garment, who am I to argue?
Somehow I feel that if we were a bunch of men commenting, the direction the have taken would be totally different. LOL but wait. You guys see that fifth pic on the listing?? Now that’s something to comment on. AAAH MY EYES!
Man, there is nothing I like better than to wear an ill fitting bottom that creates bulges where there were none before. *sigh* Add a couple of new hip/ass rolls to my paper-white complexion and they really WILL think a beluga washed up on the beach.
It has to do with a style of gathering the fabric while stitching. I’ve never tried it. I don’t see it here. Either that means the garment is THAT tight, or she doesn’t know what the word means.
I have a pair of underwear with a little bit of ruching on the butt. However, since they actually FIT, you can see the little bit of gathering in the center. I don’t know what it’s supposed to do, but I gather (npi) that it’s there to make the butt cheeks have more … visible contour.
I guess she could be wearing them properly here but they’re so tight that the ruching is being swallowed between her cheeks. Ow.
Ruching (pronounced ROOjing, with a soft “j”) is when the fabric is gathered along the seem – lots of bikini bottoms feature these days along the sides.
That being said, how could a “professional” swimsuit design have a listing for a “ruched BUTT”???? that alone just gives me a face palm.
Seriously – the model is gorgeous. But you can NOT brag about how awesome you are at making garments fit, and use this as your example. I think just one size up, and there would have been nothing to make fun of!
You know, there have been times when I didn’t notice that something about a garment of mine just plain sucks until I took the picture. Then I re-made it. If you’re expecting people to buy it … it needs to LOOK GOOD!
Exactly, I would swap my body for hers in an instant. Which is why it’s sad that she gave herself an incidental muffin top by making the bikini bottom too small. I’ve come across that in some women – they think everything has to be really tight to be ‘cute’ or ‘sexy’.
A dear old transvestite friend of mine is known for saying “Just because you CAN get into a garment, doesn’t mean you should WEAR it out in public.” First thing I thought of when I saw this.
I can see that you may want to shake it, but don’t break it, seeing’s how it took your momma 9 months to make it, however, that looks like it may cut off circulation to the taint, which is the new silent killer. Death by taint constriction.
Those bottoms are my swimsuit nightmare. I’ve spent an irritating amount of time trying to find bikini bottoms with good butt-coverage that don’t look like high-waisted underwear from the 80s. Here we have bottoms that look like granny-panties and let everyone see half my buttcheeks.
From having living in Hawaii, I can honestly say people who grew up on the island don’t have the same body image of themselves that someone from the mainland may have. I don’t know if it’s the angle of the pic but from the front, it doesn’t look that tight. And, yes, I’m a female and what I wouldn’t give for my ass to look like that…sigh.
I have that ass – unfortunately, my waist now matches it in width, lol. No one’s making fun of the model’s awesome curves … I think just one bikini size up would have been perfect.
Also I love how she posts this
“If you need help deciding what suit will be the most flattering for your shape please convo me, I am happy to help and make suggestions. ”
I dont think I want advice from this woman considering she it butchering her figure with her fit choices.
Why would someone who looks that good DO that to her figure? People think muffin top only happens to fat people, but here’s clear evidence that a bad fit can look bad on even the hottest among us.
Oh, you don’t have to be hot or fat. I’m possibly 95LBS soaking wet, with no real body fat to speak of, and I can still get a muffin top if my clothes are too tight.
On that note, there’s an awful lots of uncovered ass there. Doesn’t that count as public indecency?
(legit question. I have no frame of reference)
Probably what happened is that Designer asked Model if she’d be willing to do some shots for Designer’s Etsy shop. Model gave Designer her size, Designer thought it would be fine, but when Model put the swimsuit on and it didn’t fit. Designer told her not to worry, nobody would notice because Model has such a hot ass.
I’ve put enough pairs of compression hose on patients to know to make sure they’re not bunched the way they are on the model’s right hip. That’s gonna leave a mark.
I’ve never seen compression panties before. She must have a problem with edema.
I’m also amazed that there isn’t a visible (word not allowed to be used by men that starts with C****t**)or as I like to call it, a snuggie. Other than this this picture gives me happy feelings.
I just had a look at the rest of the bikinis – they ALL do that, and it looks like there are several butts on which they have been modeled, each in turn cruelly squeezed. Some of the tops are also quite tight (but then they are strapless, so we’ll allow for that as most professionally sold strapless things seem to resort to ‘really really tight’ to deal with the whole “how do we stay on?!” issue).
Half the fun of Regretsy now is to see what ads pop up with items… I got walk-in bird cages and home security. For the doily dress, there was a free download on colonoscopies. Bizarre.
Quality ass, really…takes work to make that butt look like hell.
And the Designer Has Achieved!
I love the last picture…dozens of unflattering photos of ill fitting bottoms with descriptors of style.
….All so very fucking similar I am reminded of the settings on a blender….Which should never have been more than “Fast” and “Faster” and “Stop”….but are instead 10 buttons of bullshit.
I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky (or not depending on your preferences) that her models have itty bitty breasts. Otherwise, I can only imagine how unfortunate she could make a pair of ample ta-ta’s look.
It appears the designer is using the same model over and over again. I think perhaps it is her perception that she’s doing the model a favor, but in all of the model’s pictures she’s wearing the same, slightly-too-small size bottoms.
On the other hand, that model cannot seem to fill out a bikini TOP any better than I can. Hence the selling of the tops and bottoms separately, I guess.
I am straight up hypnotized by this ass it is so great. My eyeballs keep getting stuck on the image and I have to break myself out of a trance in order to will myself to scroll down to the comments.
I can’t see that being something I’d wear to the beach, or even something I’d want to see on the beach. I love the ladies as much as the next bisexual, but that is just not flattering on that fine ass. Give her a bikini that fits!!
I’m built like Jennifer Lopez…and it looks like the model is also. That being said, if I were wearing these, my friends would make a drinking game out of me. Everytime I picked my ass (to pull a wedgie out), someone would yell DRINK!!
Am I the only one that thinks the front and back pictures are of different models…i dont see how some one that boy like from the front can have such lovely womanly curves?
Why not? There are women who are top heavy with very narrow hips. Not everyone is going to fit into the neat little categories that Cosmo or Glamour talk about. There’s more variety in human bodies than pear, apple, hourglass, etc.
The model does have an awesome body, though. Nobody looks good squeezed into something 3 sizes too small.
So true. A friend of mine used to work at the bar, and there was a group of gals who were regulars. I always thought that they would have looked so much better if they actually wore the correct size, as opposed to squeezing into a size smaller. It’s amazing what a difference it can make.
The human ass is made of fat, so the bathing suit digs into the top of her ass in back. But because the girl is really quite thin, there’s not much fat in front to dig into.
I see what you’re saying about how different the suit looks from different angles but I think it’s feasible.
Holy hell, that chick has a killer body! Seriously, I’ve always wanted an ass like that–mine’s all weird and not delicious like hers. It is really unfortunate that those bottoms aren’t flattering it as well as it could. That being said, her ass still wins.
my favorite thing about small town life, is a few classes in pattern making at mcc (maui community college) and your craftiness and muffin toppedness is realeased to the world! but really, this all comes down to lack of resources. made one size suit on one size form, but only had one size model. ie, the wrong size suit for the one sized up model. boo hoo. we all know we’d kill for that bod, but show it off in the right sized suit.
No wonder that thing doesn’t fit right… the listing says a small fits sizes 0-4, while a medium fits 6-8 and a large 10-12. How can one size span 4 number sizes? If she’s a 4 and the small is the equivalent of a 0, of course it’s going to be too tight.
I think I’m overanalyzing this a bit much. Bedtime for Fia…
While we may not like the choice of her picture.
There are some positive points of this seller. She appears to be very helpful in her listings, giving sizes and offering to help if you’re not sure, reasonable turn around time, and her prices are not unreasonable.
Unless we find out that these items are made in a Chinese sweatshop…this is one Etsy seller who does seem to be on the right track.
Just hoping that the one she’s selling isn’t the one she’s wearing!!
All her models seem to be wearing bottoms that are a bit tight. She’s got some really great suits though, and if I decide later on to purchase from her, I’m telling her REGRETSY sent me.
CaraMiya, I designed and made these bikini bottoms.
About the fit of these- they are actually not tight AT ALL. I know that is hard to believe but those curves are all natural and not being pushed out by an overly tight bikini…
which leads to the photo shop debate- most bikini’s we see in catalogs and online are photo shopped so that anything we don’t deem flattering is magically erased- no lines when bending over, no cellulite and NEVER a muffin top. I think it is obvious why I choose this model- she is beautiful! I love how she looks in the my suits. It does leave me wondering if I should find a less curvy model though I hate the idea of giving into model world of girls that look like little boys and then are photo shopped into barbie. About the rouching it is gathering up the but seam which gives more makes the curves more defined- it is not for everyone! Maui girls like there bikinis small and there coverage minimum,
continuing…..
a suit with too much seat coverage instantly pegs you as a tourist- also doesn’t sell well, and Maui is my main audience.
I am developing a couple of other lines – one is with more coverage (for the mainland, the conservative, and mature) and a sports line (these bottoms WOULD come off in big surf).
If you have any other suggestions for me I am happy to hear them!
Thanks for the comments and feedback!
Aloha from Maui.
CaraMiya
cmiya.com
April 21, 2011 at 1:32 pm
“Hey, does this make my . . . oh, never mind.”
April 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm
If that’s what “ruched” means, I will be damned
April 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm
OH, I’m sorry, I really really didn’t mean to post that there!
April 21, 2011 at 2:09 pm
That is NOT what ruched means!
April 21, 2011 at 9:38 pm
Ruching, pronounced roo-shing is a French term, meaning gathered along a seam.
Best example I can find is http://www.deadlyvintagesweets.com/clothing2/80sTADASHIcoffindress.sidehem.jpg
Was huge in the eighties for hot pink taffeta dresses…with asymmetric hems that were actually hemmed (she references an earlier item posted, ahem, cough).
April 21, 2011 at 2:37 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 2:50 pm
That is not a fat ass. It is, however, not the right ass for those clothes.
April 21, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Honestly, it’s all a matter of perspective… I don’t think my 17 y.o. daughter would see anything wrong with how that suit fits.
Of course, she thinks she still wears a size 1 jeans.
April 21, 2011 at 5:53 pm
umm i was going to say something “clever” but im hypnotized for some reason
April 22, 2011 at 9:33 am
I was actually thinking “at least they used a halfway decent looking model this time”. No backne. No droobies.
April 21, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Can we EVER get a picture of an ass on here without someone saying it’s fat?
At this point, it’s not even about sex selling or accurate portrayal of healthy women’s bodies in the media, it’s just been done SO MANY TIMES. If you can’t be accurate, at least be original, ffs.
April 21, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I wish my fat ass was as fat as that one. WTF, Wilma?
April 22, 2011 at 5:41 am
Uh, the clothes might be a bit too small, but dat’s a hot ass.
April 22, 2011 at 3:13 pm
I think her ass is fucking glorious, actually. It’s just been crammed into bottoms that are three sizes too small.
All but the most anorexic women in the world have hip fat that will muffintop under the wrong circumstances. They airbrush muffintop off models, even. Look! http://memehuffer.typepad.com/meme_huffer/2008/06/who-ate-all-the.html
April 23, 2011 at 1:08 pm
I’m just looking at these for my …. ummmm… wife? http://www.etsy.com/listing/72585852/ruffled-side-bottoms-in-steel-with
April 21, 2011 at 1:33 pm
First a royal pizza, now a Hawaiian muffin-top…
April 21, 2011 at 5:58 pm
why am i so hungry!
April 21, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Thanks Charlie.
My evening nightmare.
I think he is allergic to blueberries. They gave him a rash.
April 21, 2011 at 1:34 pm
At that point, why bother? Just go nude. That model has some nice curves and would look better nude than like she’s had an accident with an exercise tension band.
April 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Agreed. Using the old adage ‘If it doesn’t look good on the model…’
I mean, she’s got a beautiful model – and the assets this particular model has can’t have gone completely unnoticed by the seamstress…right?
If so – Maui, we have a problem here.
April 21, 2011 at 1:36 pm
Finally, a bikini bottom that can’t be torn off by a strong current! Preteen boys at the beach rue this day.
April 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Well, a strong current won’t pull it off, but eventually, the whole thing will just spontaneously explode under it’s own pressure. Just like preteen boys, actually…
April 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm
She does a lovely job modelling her own garments; too bad she can’t actually sew a properly fitted pair of gonch!
April 21, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Yeah this is one of those cases where the fit of the garment makes the body look bad. Shes not fat at all but those are so horribly tight its creating massive muffin top.
It reminds me of all the girls in my high school that couldnt accept that they arent a size 2 but squeezed into them anyways making them look fat even though they werent. Dress your body type!
Also where is the ruching?!? Did it ever exist or did it get flattened out by her squeezing into these?
April 21, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Anything that is actually in your butt crack and essential ly lifts and separates your butt cheeks has got to be uncomfortable. Add sand to that. shudder.
April 21, 2011 at 1:38 pm
“For ages 12-16 months”
April 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm
“This listing is for the bottoms only.”
There are too many jokes…
April 21, 2011 at 1:40 pm
power bottom?
April 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm
The top looks like it actually fits the model and she wants to keep it.
April 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Bottoms up! …And out!
April 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
ma’am, I think you meant to post this on Craig’s List, not Etsy…”
April 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm
man that’s a bad angle.
April 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Oh, another of those comments I’ll never understand why they get busted. But of course this is just me.
April 21, 2011 at 1:41 pm
If that was flattering, it wouldn’t bother me… It just isn’t ideal to strap an elastic bungee cord around your ass and call it a bikini,,,but if that is what CaraMiya of Maui thinks looks like a well fitting garment, who am I to argue?
April 21, 2011 at 1:42 pm
“Tired of the same old panty lines? Dare to be different! Buy these!”
April 21, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Somehow I feel that if we were a bunch of men commenting, the direction the have taken would be totally different. LOL but wait. You guys see that fifth pic on the listing?? Now that’s something to comment on. AAAH MY EYES!
April 21, 2011 at 2:44 pm
How about: There’s two very good reasons to take that bikini off.
Not a guy, but I love the ladies.
April 21, 2011 at 1:43 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Those bottoms actually fit perfectly. We’re all just susceptible to the optical illusion of horizontal stripes.
April 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm
And the gold sparkle in the horizontals really accentuates that illusion…
April 21, 2011 at 7:37 pm
My husband is drooling.
April 21, 2011 at 1:45 pm
She is way hot. It would definitely look better if it wasn’t so tight, though…
April 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Is the front of the suit a camel toe? Excuse me, I gotta go pull my panties out of a bunch… just that picture hurts my ass!
April 21, 2011 at 8:22 pm
I know. All I can think of is “Oh God, the chafing!”
April 21, 2011 at 1:47 pm
That’s an awful thing to do to a great ass.
April 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm
I can’t help but notice that Bronc is the one who caught this.
April 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I think CaraMiya is sort of a nom de plume here.
Her real name is AyCaramba.
April 21, 2011 at 1:49 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm
She’s wearing them backwards, people. In front, they go up to her boobs.
April 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Going up a size is nothing to be ashamed of.
Squeezing into underwear you have no business squeezing into on the other hand…
April 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Man, there is nothing I like better than to wear an ill fitting bottom that creates bulges where there were none before. *sigh* Add a couple of new hip/ass rolls to my paper-white complexion and they really WILL think a beluga washed up on the beach.
April 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Can someone explain to me what ruched butt is? It sounds a bit like a disease and looks like it’s eating her panties.
April 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm
It has to do with a style of gathering the fabric while stitching. I’ve never tried it. I don’t see it here. Either that means the garment is THAT tight, or she doesn’t know what the word means.
April 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Technically it says that its the butt that’s ruched. So maybe the bottoms are supposed to have the gathering effect on the ass itself.
April 21, 2011 at 2:14 pm
And again… she’s wearing them backwards.
April 22, 2011 at 3:47 am
I have a pair of underwear with a little bit of ruching on the butt. However, since they actually FIT, you can see the little bit of gathering in the center. I don’t know what it’s supposed to do, but I gather (npi) that it’s there to make the butt cheeks have more … visible contour.
I guess she could be wearing them properly here but they’re so tight that the ruching is being swallowed between her cheeks. Ow.
April 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Consider it a faux-wedgie.
April 21, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Ruching (pronounced ROOjing, with a soft “j”) is when the fabric is gathered along the seem – lots of bikini bottoms feature these days along the sides.
That being said, how could a “professional” swimsuit design have a listing for a “ruched BUTT”???? that alone just gives me a face palm.
April 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm
I know the word, but I had no idea it was pronounced that way! I don’t think I’ve ever heard it spoken.
April 21, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Maybe she meant “rouged”?
April 22, 2011 at 3:40 pm
Take your blusher, find the apple of the cheek….oh. Hm.
April 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I certainly wouldn’t want THAT pair. I don’t want to wear something that’s been so intimate with another person’s rectum.
Besides, I’ve been told that I have a “ghetto booty”–I don’t think my huge white ass would look too fantastic in that thing…
April 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm
man, really? how can you think that fits you? there’s no harm in a higher number if it FREAKIN LOOKS GOOD.
April 21, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I think she has fantastic body. I mean look at that butt. She has some great curves.
April 21, 2011 at 2:00 pm
No argument. And she has nice skin, too. But it’s not her body we’re snarking. It’s her poor choice of garment fit.
April 21, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Seriously – the model is gorgeous. But you can NOT brag about how awesome you are at making garments fit, and use this as your example. I think just one size up, and there would have been nothing to make fun of!
You know, there have been times when I didn’t notice that something about a garment of mine just plain sucks until I took the picture. Then I re-made it. If you’re expecting people to buy it … it needs to LOOK GOOD!
April 21, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Exactly, I would swap my body for hers in an instant. Which is why it’s sad that she gave herself an incidental muffin top by making the bikini bottom too small. I’ve come across that in some women – they think everything has to be really tight to be ‘cute’ or ‘sexy’.
April 21, 2011 at 1:53 pm
I don’t think I’m ready for that jelly.
April 21, 2011 at 2:04 pm
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April 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm
My understanding is that Rosie O’Donnell would be very much ready for this jelly, what with her being a lesbian.
Unless she likes butches, I guess.
April 21, 2011 at 1:54 pm
The top looks cute!
The bottom, on the other hand, looks like they had to take the picture quick before she fell over from circulatory paralysis.
Also, you don’t have to worry about being sold the pair she was wearing, because they had to be cut off her.
April 21, 2011 at 2:18 pm
No lie I did that once, and they looked about as good on as these ones do too.
April 21, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Aside from it so not fitting her, her bikinis are really cute! If I wasn’t still wearing a training bra I’d be all over that.
April 21, 2011 at 1:56 pm
A dear old transvestite friend of mine is known for saying “Just because you CAN get into a garment, doesn’t mean you should WEAR it out in public.” First thing I thought of when I saw this.
April 21, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Sometimes, trannys and gays are smarter than women when it comes to fashion and design. Ah, the cruelty of the world. ;p
April 21, 2011 at 2:03 pm
This is excellent advice. You knew a wise transvestite.
April 21, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Know. Not knew, unless one of you has died suddenly.
April 21, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Please someone tell me she’s photo shopped, or else i may have to kill myself out of despair. I need a sign saying “caution fragile ego detour ahead”
April 21, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Gotta be a type…ruched should be smooshed
April 21, 2011 at 2:01 pm
I can see that you may want to shake it, but don’t break it, seeing’s how it took your momma 9 months to make it, however, that looks like it may cut off circulation to the taint, which is the new silent killer. Death by taint constriction.
April 21, 2011 at 2:05 pm
My cousin died from that in Boca.
April 21, 2011 at 7:13 pm
In whose Boca?
April 21, 2011 at 2:02 pm
It looks like the poor model has her circulation cut off in ALL the bottoms by this designer. Poor thing, she really is very nice looking.
April 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm
The lack of circulation must be affecting her judgment.
April 21, 2011 at 2:05 pm
My personal favorite is the “retro booty bottoms.”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/70664377/retro-booty-bottoms-in-black-sparkle
Fucking. Incredible.
Also, I’ve never seen the word “ruched” in my life so my brain just turns it into “raunchy.”
April 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I’m seriously considering buying that one…
April 21, 2011 at 2:15 pm
That one actually doesn’t look too bad — still not a great fit, but at least it’s not about to fall off or cut off her circulation.
April 21, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Clearly, ‘retro’ means ‘granny panties’.
There must have been one hell of a sale on that fabric.
April 21, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Haha, granny panties is exactly where I went.
It’s kind of like a swim-suit mullet, in a way.
April 21, 2011 at 3:16 pm
I think they are supposed to provide medium coverage of the lower back, you know from the shoulder blades to the top of your ass cheeks.
April 22, 2011 at 8:53 am
Those bottoms are my swimsuit nightmare. I’ve spent an irritating amount of time trying to find bikini bottoms with good butt-coverage that don’t look like high-waisted underwear from the 80s. Here we have bottoms that look like granny-panties and let everyone see half my buttcheeks.
April 22, 2011 at 9:53 am
Exactly! It’s like “granny in the front, party in the back!” And by “party” I mean an inescapable wedgie.
April 22, 2011 at 3:30 pm
Last I saw, high-waisted “retro” bathing suit bottoms didn’t let almost your entire ass hang out.
Although if I had that ass I’d take scissors to some actual retro bottoms until they looked like those.
April 21, 2011 at 2:05 pm
From having living in Hawaii, I can honestly say people who grew up on the island don’t have the same body image of themselves that someone from the mainland may have. I don’t know if it’s the angle of the pic but from the front, it doesn’t look that tight. And, yes, I’m a female and what I wouldn’t give for my ass to look like that…sigh.
April 21, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Oops…lived in Hawaii
April 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I have that ass – unfortunately, my waist now matches it in width, lol. No one’s making fun of the model’s awesome curves … I think just one bikini size up would have been perfect.
April 21, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I see no “ruching”. I do see, however, “rucked up”!
April 21, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Amen to that!
April 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Her bottom is beautiful, so why would anyone want to make it look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag?
April 21, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Agreed!
Also I love how she posts this
“If you need help deciding what suit will be the most flattering for your shape please convo me, I am happy to help and make suggestions. ”
I dont think I want advice from this woman considering she it butchering her figure with her fit choices.
April 21, 2011 at 7:15 pm
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April 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I believe there was an episode of Sonny With a Chance on this debilitating disease…(I have an eight year-old niece… I have to watch this stuff)
April 21, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Fail… here’s the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5Y4oiBBkEI
April 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I made it through about 45 seconds of that. That is truly horrendous.
I’m amazed that you’re still sane.
April 21, 2011 at 10:40 pm
I quickly sought counseling and joined Regretsy.
April 21, 2011 at 11:25 pm
Clearly the inspiration for “Friday.”
April 21, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Why would someone who looks that good DO that to her figure? People think muffin top only happens to fat people, but here’s clear evidence that a bad fit can look bad on even the hottest among us.
April 21, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Oh, you don’t have to be hot or fat. I’m possibly 95LBS soaking wet, with no real body fat to speak of, and I can still get a muffin top if my clothes are too tight.
On that note, there’s an awful lots of uncovered ass there. Doesn’t that count as public indecency?
(legit question. I have no frame of reference)
April 21, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I think it depends on where you live, really.
April 21, 2011 at 5:48 pm
In some places, like Brazil, you have to be able to actually see internal organs for it to be “too much.”
April 22, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Hell, my boyfriend gets muffin top if a pair of panties is tight enough, and he’s a skinny little bitch with good muscle tone.
April 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Probably what happened is that Designer asked Model if she’d be willing to do some shots for Designer’s Etsy shop. Model gave Designer her size, Designer thought it would be fine, but when Model put the swimsuit on and it didn’t fit. Designer told her not to worry, nobody would notice because Model has such a hot ass.
April 21, 2011 at 2:18 pm
I’ve put enough pairs of compression hose on patients to know to make sure they’re not bunched the way they are on the model’s right hip. That’s gonna leave a mark.
I’ve never seen compression panties before. She must have a problem with edema.
I’m also amazed that there isn’t a visible (word not allowed to be used by men that starts with C****t**)or as I like to call it, a snuggie. Other than this this picture gives me happy feelings.
April 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm
a visible calcetin?
April 21, 2011 at 2:36 pm
a visible catheter?
April 21, 2011 at 3:39 pm
This will be the next Etsy trend.
April 21, 2011 at 11:28 pm
I’ll buy one. If it’s cheap. It might let me get back into raiding in WoW.
April 21, 2011 at 2:21 pm
I just had a look at the rest of the bikinis – they ALL do that, and it looks like there are several butts on which they have been modeled, each in turn cruelly squeezed. Some of the tops are also quite tight (but then they are strapless, so we’ll allow for that as most professionally sold strapless things seem to resort to ‘really really tight’ to deal with the whole “how do we stay on?!” issue).
Perhaps it’s because they’re made on this unyielding cloth automaton:
http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_fullxfull.237732963.jpg
April 21, 2011 at 3:57 pm
You can really see the “ruching” in that one. But I don’t think I wanna have gathers in my ass.
April 21, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Highwaisted booty, medium coverage = WOW!
Dang I’d kill for a body like that. Tight panties or no.
April 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Half the fun of Regretsy now is to see what ads pop up with items… I got walk-in bird cages and home security. For the doily dress, there was a free download on colonoscopies. Bizarre.
April 21, 2011 at 2:24 pm
For this I’m getting local deals on sushi. Seriously.
April 21, 2011 at 2:56 pm
I always get chocolate. I guess that says something about me.
April 21, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Now those are proper curves. Yum.
April 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm
The seller states that her fashion emphasis is draping. I would say this fashion emphasis is in stretching as opposed to draping.
April 21, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I just purchased those. I’ve always wanted my butt to be ruched.
April 21, 2011 at 2:35 pm
and sparkly.
April 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm
My butt’s ruched already. It’s called aging.
April 21, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Oh. my. This is not helping my crafty crush on you!
April 21, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Quality ass, really…takes work to make that butt look like hell.
And the Designer Has Achieved!
I love the last picture…dozens of unflattering photos of ill fitting bottoms with descriptors of style.
….All so very fucking similar I am reminded of the settings on a blender….Which should never have been more than “Fast” and “Faster” and “Stop”….but are instead 10 buttons of bullshit.
This is the Blender of Ass Coverage.
April 21, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Every single thing in her shop is giving her models muffin tops and cutting off their circulation. Sad, since she has some models with smokin’ bods!
April 21, 2011 at 3:14 pm
I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky (or not depending on your preferences) that her models have itty bitty breasts. Otherwise, I can only imagine how unfortunate she could make a pair of ample ta-ta’s look.
April 22, 2011 at 12:36 am
Yeah… it looks like if you have more than a B cup, you can’t buy a top from her. Some of the tops have no support.
April 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Oh, there’s ruching. The ass just inhaled it.
That’s one glorious ass, but wtf.
April 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm
It appears the designer is using the same model over and over again. I think perhaps it is her perception that she’s doing the model a favor, but in all of the model’s pictures she’s wearing the same, slightly-too-small size bottoms.
On the other hand, that model cannot seem to fill out a bikini TOP any better than I can. Hence the selling of the tops and bottoms separately, I guess.
April 21, 2011 at 3:25 pm
ACE Bandage: the first name in Bikinis!
April 21, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Also…checkout the feedback…One who has bought one even says something like, “It’s a little tighter than I expected..something to work towards!”
Guess she has one o’ them fancy Braille computers.
April 21, 2011 at 3:59 pm
“Fit”
I do not think it means what you think it means.
April 21, 2011 at 4:00 pm
I am straight up hypnotized by this ass it is so great. My eyeballs keep getting stuck on the image and I have to break myself out of a trance in order to will myself to scroll down to the comments.
April 21, 2011 at 4:06 pm
i don’t know about you, but i wish my ass looked like that!
April 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm
I’m happily surprised by the general consensus of this being a sexy booty. I’m going to go stand in front of a mirror naked and re-evaluate mine.
April 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm
We’d like to make a general consensus about that too.
April 21, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I think this violates Brazilian laws regarding cruelty to well-formed rear ends.
April 21, 2011 at 4:20 pm
That is a lovely ass. Dear friends, don’t do this to your own lovely asses! Watch your line and wear clothes that fit.
April 21, 2011 at 4:21 pm
that looks like it could give you the worlds worst wedgie
April 21, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I can’t see that being something I’d wear to the beach, or even something I’d want to see on the beach. I love the ladies as much as the next bisexual, but that is just not flattering on that fine ass. Give her a bikini that fits!!
April 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Anyone who thinks she looks anything less than fabulous in that bikini ….
April 21, 2011 at 6:05 pm
No, no… she’d look fabulous out of that bikini. Inside it, she looks uncomfortable.
April 22, 2011 at 9:03 am
right? the suit may be a little obscene to wear in public but her body is SLAMMIN.
April 21, 2011 at 5:15 pm
I’m built like Jennifer Lopez…and it looks like the model is also. That being said, if I were wearing these, my friends would make a drinking game out of me. Everytime I picked my ass (to pull a wedgie out), someone would yell DRINK!!
Not all styles are suitable for all shapes.
April 21, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 21, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Why not? There are women who are top heavy with very narrow hips. Not everyone is going to fit into the neat little categories that Cosmo or Glamour talk about. There’s more variety in human bodies than pear, apple, hourglass, etc.
The model does have an awesome body, though. Nobody looks good squeezed into something 3 sizes too small.
April 21, 2011 at 10:51 pm
So true. A friend of mine used to work at the bar, and there was a group of gals who were regulars. I always thought that they would have looked so much better if they actually wore the correct size, as opposed to squeezing into a size smaller. It’s amazing what a difference it can make.
April 22, 2011 at 10:48 am
UM i wasnt refering to her chest…HOW does one have wide hips in the back and have narrow hips in the front?????
April 22, 2011 at 3:38 pm
The human ass is made of fat, so the bathing suit digs into the top of her ass in back. But because the girl is really quite thin, there’s not much fat in front to dig into.
I see what you’re saying about how different the suit looks from different angles but I think it’s feasible.
April 21, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I’m a tailor… if I sent out an item that fit that badly I would have to hang my head in shame…
She does have a very nice bottom though
April 21, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Yay, more pre-worn undies. Where do I pay?
April 21, 2011 at 6:22 pm
she’s either going to get varicose veins in her ass cheeks, or a hellacious yeast infection. fuck…those might make her sterile!
April 21, 2011 at 6:33 pm
DAYUM! So if i wear my panties too tight, can i get an ass like that?? i hate my bony pancake ass.
April 22, 2011 at 3:43 pm
I’d be happy to give you some of my assfat, merrypranxter! I brought enough for the WHOLE CLASS.
April 21, 2011 at 6:41 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/72578454/rouched-butt-bottoms-in-navy-with-pink?ref=pr_shop
The ruching is a little more evident when they aren’t so freaking tight. Worth noting – they shit low. That’s one heck of a selling point.
April 21, 2011 at 11:33 pm
Good catch. I’m surprised Etsy doesn’t have a filter to keep that from happening…accidentally.
April 21, 2011 at 6:53 pm
I didn’t know muffin top was the proper fit, I’ve been buying my shit way too big!
April 21, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Holy hell, that chick has a killer body! Seriously, I’ve always wanted an ass like that–mine’s all weird and not delicious like hers. It is really unfortunate that those bottoms aren’t flattering it as well as it could. That being said, her ass still wins.
April 21, 2011 at 7:30 pm
You know how some husbands go through a “sympathetic pregnancy” when their wives are expecting?
I think just got a sympathetic wedgie.
April 21, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Does her arm look really weird to anyone else?
April 22, 2011 at 3:44 pm
She has arms? O.o
April 21, 2011 at 9:42 pm
my favorite thing about small town life, is a few classes in pattern making at mcc (maui community college) and your craftiness and muffin toppedness is realeased to the world! but really, this all comes down to lack of resources. made one size suit on one size form, but only had one size model. ie, the wrong size suit for the one sized up model. boo hoo. we all know we’d kill for that bod, but show it off in the right sized suit.
April 21, 2011 at 9:54 pm
Is the tube of Monistat free of charge?
April 22, 2011 at 12:42 am
No wonder that thing doesn’t fit right… the listing says a small fits sizes 0-4, while a medium fits 6-8 and a large 10-12. How can one size span 4 number sizes? If she’s a 4 and the small is the equivalent of a 0, of course it’s going to be too tight.
I think I’m overanalyzing this a bit much. Bedtime for Fia…
April 22, 2011 at 4:42 am
I know that something along these lines was already mentioned but-
ALL HAIL THE HYPNO-BUTT
April 22, 2011 at 6:21 pm
ALL GLORY IS THE HYPNOBUTT
April 22, 2011 at 7:27 am
While we may not like the choice of her picture.
There are some positive points of this seller. She appears to be very helpful in her listings, giving sizes and offering to help if you’re not sure, reasonable turn around time, and her prices are not unreasonable.
Unless we find out that these items are made in a Chinese sweatshop…this is one Etsy seller who does seem to be on the right track.
Just hoping that the one she’s selling isn’t the one she’s wearing!!
April 22, 2011 at 8:51 am
D-d-d-daaaamn she has a nice body *hypnotized*
I want my upper body to be thinner and to not have thigh stretch marks q-q lol
April 22, 2011 at 11:27 am
So by paying attention to the fit she means that this is meant to actually be worn by an 8 year old I take it?
April 22, 2011 at 2:54 pm
“wise men say only fools ruche in”
-elvis presley
April 22, 2011 at 6:47 pm
What? Huh? Oh, yeah, there IS a muffin top up there isn’t it. I wasn’t even looking at that part of the picture.
Sorry, folks. I’m afraid I’m just a typical guy.
April 22, 2011 at 7:28 pm
All her models seem to be wearing bottoms that are a bit tight. She’s got some really great suits though, and if I decide later on to purchase from her, I’m telling her REGRETSY sent me.
April 26, 2011 at 11:16 am
CaraMiya, I designed and made these bikini bottoms.
About the fit of these- they are actually not tight AT ALL. I know that is hard to believe but those curves are all natural and not being pushed out by an overly tight bikini…
which leads to the photo shop debate- most bikini’s we see in catalogs and online are photo shopped so that anything we don’t deem flattering is magically erased- no lines when bending over, no cellulite and NEVER a muffin top. I think it is obvious why I choose this model- she is beautiful! I love how she looks in the my suits. It does leave me wondering if I should find a less curvy model though I hate the idea of giving into model world of girls that look like little boys and then are photo shopped into barbie. About the rouching it is gathering up the but seam which gives more makes the curves more defined- it is not for everyone! Maui girls like there bikinis small and there coverage minimum,
April 26, 2011 at 11:24 am
continuing…..
a suit with too much seat coverage instantly pegs you as a tourist- also doesn’t sell well, and Maui is my main audience.
I am developing a couple of other lines – one is with more coverage (for the mainland, the conservative, and mature) and a sports line (these bottoms WOULD come off in big surf).
If you have any other suggestions for me I am happy to hear them!
Thanks for the comments and feedback!
Aloha from Maui.
CaraMiya
cmiya.com
April 26, 2011 at 11:32 am
I forgot to say……
Thanks regretsy! I got a bunch of hits and several sales
caramiya
August 6, 2011 at 10:49 pm
I’d pee in her butt.
October 21, 2011 at 11:46 pm
nice ass =)