Lie Back and Think of England
Condoms of Distinction
“Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”
“To celebrate the engagement of Prince William of Wales to Ms. Catherine Elizabeth Middleton, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction has commissioned a unique heritage edition Royal Wedding Souvenir boîte de capotes.
Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure. Truly a King amongst Condoms.”
BONUS: Celebrate the marriage of Jon Cryer and Anne Hathaway with the Exclusive Collectible Royal Wedding Souvenir Portrait inside every pack of Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction
April 19, 2011 at 9:34 am
Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be
Uh-huh. At least the prose is as purple as the box.
April 19, 2011 at 9:42 am
“A condom of distinction”
April 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm
“Some day my Prince will cum!”
April 19, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Given the amount of time they’ve been dating each other, I suspect he already has. Numerous times.
But yeah, let’s all pretend this is the Victorian era, and the bride is a blushing virgin, and not a young woman who’s gone to university and held a job.
April 20, 2011 at 9:13 am
That’s right, she’s held exactly one job, and not for very long at that! But then I guess she knew he would marry her eventually so she didn’t have to try too hard. If she’s a virgin at 29 years old, I’m a monkey’s uncle
April 19, 2011 at 9:34 am
“Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.”
The… why??
April 19, 2011 at 11:40 am
WHOA! You’d think they’d print that a bit larger and you know GIANT RED BLOCK LETTERS!
April 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Damn! I was totally in until I saw that.
April 19, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Then what the fuck are they for?
Because it’s clearly not the fuck.
April 19, 2011 at 6:28 pm
for use as water balloons???
April 19, 2011 at 6:21 pm
aw, just like the Royal Family – expensive, highly ornamental, and devoid of any real purpose.
April 19, 2011 at 9:34 am
Lavishly lubed and regally ribbed? I’m in.
April 19, 2011 at 9:59 am
Because this is exactly what I think of when I think of Will & Kate (and merry Old England”….
April 19, 2011 at 10:00 am
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April 19, 2011 at 10:07 am
That’s what HE said.
April 19, 2011 at 9:35 am
Lavishly Lubed?
Regally Ribbed?
Heritage Condoms?
….and to think all this time all I’ve asked of a condom is that it be ribbed for my pleasure.
April 19, 2011 at 9:40 am
Shoot I haven’t even asked for that. I just want them to keep me baby-free! Which, “heritage condom” seems to contradict…
April 19, 2011 at 9:44 am
There’s something wrong about condoms you pass down to your children.
April 19, 2011 at 10:40 am
Especially with the discussion: “This is the condom your mother didn’t make me wear the night I was foolish enough to believe her when she said she was barren.”
April 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm
Well, my Dad did present my little sister with the rest of the box of defectives that resulted in her conception…
April 19, 2011 at 9:36 am
“Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.”
WHAT? They don’t even work?
April 19, 2011 at 9:38 am
Neither do the royals. It’s a metaphor!
April 19, 2011 at 9:56 am
*snerk* Nice.
April 19, 2011 at 9:39 am
“WHAT? They don’t even work?”
Yes, much like most of the Royals themselves.
April 19, 2011 at 9:47 am
From their FAQ- amusing!
Why does it say Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction may not be suitable as a contraceptive or barrier against STDs?
The lawyers made us do it. Unfortunately, there is a forest of legal one must wade through to supply medical grade prophylactics – a good thing no doubt. Sadly, Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction are not yet registered with the Department ofHealth and are therefore obliged to offer this disclaimer. However, since we expect members of the consuming public to keep our product for generations to come, we hope their Royal Souvenir value is adequate compensation for this frustrating legal position.
April 19, 2011 at 9:53 am
“Frustrating legal position”?
Is that a nice way of referring to PooperSex(tm)?
April 19, 2011 at 1:41 pm
No, that term sounds more like missionary to me. PooperSex ™ is considered illegal in many states.
April 19, 2011 at 9:38 am
“Intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”.
You’re gonna want to keep these things LONG after you’ve used ‘em. So don’t use ‘em on a stranger, friends.
April 19, 2011 at 8:16 pm
Forget “sponge-worthy” – is this person “Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction-worthy”?
April 19, 2011 at 9:40 am
“Yes, do you have Prince William in a latex?”
April 19, 2011 at 11:01 am
I laughed so hard I almost dropped the baby!
April 19, 2011 at 9:43 am
Royal Fuck! (as opposed to Holy Fuck).
I am really just stunned and snorted tea back into my special Chinese Royal Wedding tea mug (don’t be jealous, you had your chance to order a Harry & Kate royal wedding mug weeks ago!)
April 19, 2011 at 10:01 am
You got it? Did it have the right prince on there?
english accent–>”Oh, do tell! Pip, pip!”
April 19, 2011 at 10:41 am
Depends on who you think is the right prince. For me, it was Harry and it is indeed Harry on it!
April 19, 2011 at 11:32 am
THAT’S the one! FTW!
April 19, 2011 at 11:48 am
What? What?
April 19, 2011 at 4:01 pm
“I dare say, old chap!”
April 19, 2011 at 1:29 pm
color me jealous that you got the tea cup! the wedding came up between bottles of homebrew and cheap canadian whiskey (rough night) and a friend whipped out the commemorative charles and diana tea cup. i wanted to drink out of it, but he horded it back into his china hutch. bastard.
April 19, 2011 at 1:43 pm
My family thinks I flipped my lid, because I was so excited about it. It is just so funny that they would make that mistake and then compound it with using the snarkiest picture of Harry possible-he is just leering at her like he is Henry the 8th the day after his brother died and she is Katherine of Aragon. The names are so coincidentally funny because Harry’s real name is Henry. And guess what-Wills’ middle name is Arthur and that was Henry VIII’s dead brother’s name. Creepy right? So sorry to bore people who don’t give a fuck about the royal family-I totally get your position.
April 19, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I totally followed you on that. I love the old royals. Not the ones living now…they’re pretty boring. But the Tudors?? Hell yeah! That was a family!
April 19, 2011 at 9:47 am
I think about William’s junk enough already… This isn’t helping.
April 19, 2011 at 10:05 am
Yes, I am a total pervert.
April 19, 2011 at 10:10 am
I couldn’t help myself…
April 19, 2011 at 10:41 am
@ blackgermanshepard Thank you for using your superpowers of photo analysis to further intensify my feelings of inadequacy.
But I gotta admit you are brilliant.
April 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm
it’s good to see photoshop being used for the purposes of good once again..hehehe. \o_O/
April 19, 2011 at 1:28 pm
I don’t have photoshop. I did use gimp though, but to only make a side by side pic…for this simple exposure manipulation, I used my Windows Photo Gallery editor is all. What you see, is really him.
April 19, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Is it just me, or is he packing twins in there…
April 19, 2011 at 9:47 am
Do they make you scream “William” during sex?
April 19, 2011 at 11:29 am
Close, they made me scream “Free Willy!”
April 19, 2011 at 7:06 pm
That would be disturbing since that’s my son’s name. I think I’ll just stick with Trojans.
April 19, 2011 at 9:49 am
Are they suitable for a Prince Albert?
April 19, 2011 at 10:00 am
My favorite comment so far.
April 19, 2011 at 10:14 am
Do they come in a can?
April 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm
They come anywhere they’re used, I would think.
April 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm
…and we are back to “pooper” sex
April 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm
When do we ever leave it?
April 19, 2011 at 9:49 am
It actually says “Lie Back and Think of England” on the home page of their website! Those cheeky Brits! Also, they’re out of stock right now…
April 19, 2011 at 9:54 am
Are these hand made? I like to think of a distinctive old white-haired British gentleman, perhaps wearing a tweed jacket and monacle, stooped over his workbench before a roaring fire, his loyal hound at his feet, a glass of stout by his side, while he masterfully stamps out each individual handcrafted dick sheath for his etsy shop.
April 19, 2011 at 10:57 am
I’m picturing a pot of molten latex on the hearth, and some East Berlin frau dipping the metal molds into it.
Don’t worry, she rinses it out before making the chocolate covered bacon.
April 19, 2011 at 11:26 am
As long as this shop doesn’t use the word “creamy” as a descriptive, I’m cool with the frau rubbers. Fraubbers.
April 19, 2011 at 12:43 pm
[Sound of horses whinnying and thunder crashing]
April 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm
I ran out of Young Frankenstein references the other day, with the dead fox neck-biting thing. Thank you for filling the void.
April 19, 2011 at 9:51 am
“Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion.”
Unlike a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is neither recognized with a national holiday nor broadcast on the BBC.
April 19, 2011 at 9:53 am
I feel that this is a massive failing of society. Every time someone has sex with a loved one it should be plastered all over everywhere and celebrated with commemorative refrigerators.
April 19, 2011 at 11:15 am
We made our own commemorative refrigerator during the act of lovemaking. It’s quite the conversation starter when we have company over!
April 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm
I… you… how? HOW??
April 19, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Isn’t that pretty much what Facebook is all about?
April 19, 2011 at 9:51 am
Is this for real? I’ve seen the tea. I’ve seen the tea cups with the mega mistake… condoms?
April 19, 2011 at 9:51 am
But, but…Who will inherit the Throne?
April 19, 2011 at 5:43 pm
If they use these things as birth control, the baby that’s born approximately nine months after the wedding.
April 19, 2011 at 9:51 am
Durex is for the plebeians.
April 19, 2011 at 9:51 am
If I wanted to use them on yesterday’s bedsheet, would that be creepy?
April 19, 2011 at 9:56 am
It’s be less creepy than leaving a large stain on Dodi’s face.
April 19, 2011 at 9:52 am
Start wearing purple! Wearing purple!
April 19, 2011 at 11:16 am
ladeda da da!
April 19, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Start wearing purple for me now
All your sanity and wits they will all vanish
I promise, it’s just a matter of time…
The overall flavour of this particular post and the accompanying comments is greatly improved with the addition of a little Gogol Bordello, thanks for the suggestion.
{runs off to annoy neighbours with music that’s perhaps a little too loud}
April 19, 2011 at 9:54 am
“Intercourse with a loved one” immediately sent my mind reeling into Thanksgiving dinner with handsy Uncle Bert.
April 19, 2011 at 10:57 am
I know right? My loved ones include an extended family and while it would be an unforgettable occasion, I would try with the help of a LOT of therapy.
April 19, 2011 at 9:55 am
That portait! ‘from an acclaimed international artist!’ As Helen said- Jon Cryer and Anne Hathaway. Might I add- as Barbie and Ken on a background of crayon drawn by an eight year old.
April 19, 2011 at 9:59 am
Goddammit. Portrait.
April 19, 2011 at 10:44 am
Not to mention, Kate/Anne seems to have an impossibly skinny waist, only one boob (that’s growing just below her clavicle) and William/Jon looks painfully anemic….
April 19, 2011 at 9:56 am
Are they not supposed to be making a royal heir ASAP? Maybe THAT is why the condoms don’t work, the queen has gone and stuck pins in them all to assure that there will a bouncing baby prince or princess as soon as possible.
April 19, 2011 at 10:13 am
An heir and a spare. Just like Mom.
April 19, 2011 at 9:56 am
“…intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion”
What a load of carp!
April 19, 2011 at 10:25 am
Clearly they’ve never had intercourse with MY loved one.
Hell, even I’ve forgotten if I have or not.
April 19, 2011 at 12:18 pm
I’ve only ever forgotten I had sex with one person.
They reminded me. It was awkward.
April 19, 2011 at 11:08 am
If that was the case, I doubt anyone’d be referring to it as ‘intercourse.’
April 20, 2011 at 7:02 am
What about a more medical-sounding word? Coitus anyone?
April 19, 2011 at 7:11 pm
Am I supposed to remember every time I’ve had intercourse with a loved one? Conversely, am I supposed to forget every time I had sex with a complete stranger?
I would need an awful lot more booze to forget two full years of my life.
April 19, 2011 at 10:00 am
Finally, a product I wish to purchase, nay use … and it turns out to be a cruel spoof. *sobs*
April 19, 2011 at 10:03 am
There is so much here to work with. It’s as if they had Regretsy in mind when they put this up on the internet tubes.
I want to thank Regretsy personally for this most awesome find.
April 19, 2011 at 10:03 am
I saw these a few weeks ago on CNN, of all places.
April 19, 2011 at 10:43 am
Was Wolf Blitzer pulling it over his head?
April 19, 2011 at 10:04 am
A royal wedding only comes once or twice a lifetime. You shouldn’t have to.
April 19, 2011 at 10:04 am
Had to look up “triumvirate”.
Now I can actually say I learned something today…albeit from a box of condoms not intended to be used as contraception.
April 19, 2011 at 10:18 am
If *that* is the lesson you learned from shoddy prophylactics I say you got off easy.
April 19, 2011 at 10:37 am
“got off?”
April 19, 2011 at 10:43 am
I see you see what I did there.
April 19, 2011 at 10:06 am
i, for one, am so glad that artists are finally seeing the positive applications of hand-held pastels as opposed to… the… alternative… to that. because there obviously is one.
April 19, 2011 at 10:47 am
I don’t know, it could have been one of those poor blind, limbless artists that paint/draw with their mouths. So they wouldn’t exactly be hand-held there…
The other alternative is the hands are a little too busy elsewhere – emphasizing that the artist wasn’t jerking off while drawing this fantastic portrait that is sure to be likewise internationally acclaimed.
April 19, 2011 at 10:07 am
From the headline I saw by the check out this morning, the royal couple have already tried out one of these “not intended for contraception” condoms.
April 19, 2011 at 10:23 am
Not going to lie. I have actually wondered (in an I-really-don’t-give-a-shit kind of way) if Kate was pregnant. The engagement was sudden and has been fairly short and they have been shacking up on and off for years now.
April 19, 2011 at 10:49 am
The *engagement* was sudden? Haven’t they been together for about 8 years? Pregnancy’s a definite possibility for quick wedding after engagement, but let’s face it. William is a royal. They’re bloody loaded. Months of planning and saving is not necessary here, granny pays for it and royal schills do everything else.
April 19, 2011 at 11:00 am
Months of planning is extra necessary for a royal wedding. The security issues alone for an event where so many heads of state are gathered are a logistical nightmare. Think of how much work and planning go into the inaugural balls for the US president. Plenty of money for them and they happen every four years like clockwork but they still take a year to plan.
They have been together on and off for about 8 years, the engagement came right on the heels of one of their “off” times.
April 19, 2011 at 11:04 am
One reason for the rush was to avoid 2012 – the Olympics in London, the Queen’s diamond jubilee (60 years, assuming she’s still alive), and they’re hoping to have a child to put in an underground bunker in case they’re right about that Mayan Calendar thing.
April 19, 2011 at 11:09 am
I wonder how much of the planning the couple actually takes part in. I mean do you think that the bride is actually getting to chose the colors of table clothes and such?
With it being such an important thing I don’t see anyone allowing a royal to have an unusual wedding. What if they really, really wanted a Halloween theme?
April 19, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Apparently they’re also using the wedding as a dry run for when the baked bean pops her clogs!
(Gold star for any of the non-Brits who understand that;)
April 19, 2011 at 2:30 pm
when the queen dies. I want my freezing auto.
April 19, 2011 at 10:07 am
This makes me think of an Onion post I saw awhile back.
“No one’s pleasure Trojan condoms. For bitter and resentful couples.’
April 19, 2011 at 10:08 am
Has anyone found a picture of what they actually look like? The closest I could find was a picture of a purple condom…is that really what the product is?
Oh, and in my search, I found this: http://s4.thisnext.com/media/largest_dimension/DA27CD87.jpg
April 19, 2011 at 10:13 am
I prefer this one: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21868
April 19, 2011 at 10:25 am
That is an absurdly ugly ring. The white things look like eyes, and the bumps make me think of that frog that carries its babies inside its back.
Ugh.
April 19, 2011 at 10:27 am
Damnit, now that you pointed out the eyes I keep seeing them…
April 19, 2011 at 11:49 am
Like there isn’t an eye already staring at you where this ring is going.
April 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm
If you’re looking at it, ur doin it wrong.
April 19, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Indeed. You should be able to see it…you should be using other senses.
April 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I shared this on my Facebook page. My husband and I have bets on which of our friends/family will order it.
April 19, 2011 at 10:17 am
I love attention.
Right now our country is getting attention for ALL the wrong reasons.
If anyone’s wearing purple to the wedding, I’m gonna crack a few ribs with the giggles.
April 19, 2011 at 10:19 am
What’s next? Since KY Jelly have all sorts of new “for your pleasure” tingling, heating up lubes, they should have one called Royal Jelly.
As an aside, has anyone else seen those condoms with the vibrating rings at the base of them? Now that’s a royal condom.
April 19, 2011 at 10:19 am
*have*has* whatever.
April 19, 2011 at 10:46 am
They have them in our local supermarket. Early reports are they work very well. But at 9 bucks each it’s a budget breaker.
April 19, 2011 at 11:05 am
Cheaper than a nanny.
April 19, 2011 at 11:15 am
Damn skippy… I can’t think of any reason for the number of unplanned pregnancies out there, considering the number and variety of condoms and birth control out there. I mean, condoms aren’t that expensive, for Pete’s sake!
April 19, 2011 at 11:48 am
The ones that don’t vibrate work just as well as tadpole traps, and they’re less expensive.
April 19, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I couldn’t take the pill (messed with my hormones something fierce), and the ex and I managed to successfully plan our family using condoms. You have to be willing to commit to the routine, but trust me, it beats an unwanted pregnancy any day.
April 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm
I don’t know why anyone would buy condoms with vibrating rings. Why not just get a vibrating cock ring? They aren’t all that expensive.
April 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Not that I would know.
*trying to look innocent*
April 19, 2011 at 7:08 pm
And the real vibrating cock rings are reusable.
April 19, 2011 at 10:23 am
Really wanted to order some for a British friend, turns out they’re sold out at the moment.
http://www.crownjewelscondoms.com/purchase.html
April 19, 2011 at 10:23 am
As an American, I would buy these. Just to see what it’s like to get fucked by a monarchy.
April 19, 2011 at 10:26 am
by the whole monarchy? A Royal Train as it were.
April 19, 2011 at 11:02 am
So you’re just looking to switch it up to getting fucked by people chosen by birth rather than being elected to the position of fucking you?
April 19, 2011 at 11:10 am
‘sactly
April 19, 2011 at 10:36 am
Excellent snark, as always, folks!
April 19, 2011 at 10:36 am
I’ve been laughing until I cried over this.
People will hawk the craziest stuff and even more will buy it.
April 19, 2011 at 10:36 am
How fuc-KING!
April 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Win!
April 19, 2011 at 10:38 am
I definitely saw these in a sex-issue of my university’s newspaper! It was definitely a “WTF Royal Condoms?! No, it can’t be… they wouldn’t…” sort of moment. A moment full of LULZ.
April 19, 2011 at 10:40 am
“Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is the proud purveyor of an exclusive range of heritage love sheaths.
England boasts some of the finest lovemaking in the world, with a tradition of coitus going back generations.”
A tradition of coitus going back generations?
Id rather think all of humanity (and every creature in the animal kingdom as well) has a tradition of coitus going back… mmm hundreds of thousands of years?
england has only had a few generations worth of coitus.
unless they mean FINE coitus-making.
either way. sucks for them.
April 19, 2011 at 10:47 am
Even badgers have coitus!
April 19, 2011 at 11:05 am
maybe the english learned from the badgers.
April 19, 2011 at 11:49 am
Honey badger don’t give a damn about condoms!
April 19, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Badgers? They didn’t need no stinking badgers!
April 19, 2011 at 11:07 am
I think the Coitus-Makers Guild has a role in the coronation ceremony.
April 19, 2011 at 11:27 am
I’m not sure that their tradition of coitus is really anything to brag about, considering it wasn’t all that long ago that the royal families of Europe were still practicing incest…
April 19, 2011 at 10:43 am
Oh you have *got* to be fucking kidding me………..
*is ashamed of her country*
April 19, 2011 at 6:39 pm
don’t be ashamed at all your country gave us monty python!
April 19, 2011 at 10:51 am
Don’t be ashamed. In America t-our reps don’t even want to spend a single penny of our budget on publicly funded TV or womens healt care. You guys get the BBC AND you spend something like 45 mil a year to have a pretty pretty family dripping with jewels to look up to LUCKIES!
April 19, 2011 at 10:54 am
sausage fingers
April 19, 2011 at 11:05 am
And we have John Barrowman. I say yeah, we win.
April 19, 2011 at 11:08 am
Just to be clear through the snark: I believe we should fund things like health care and PBS. And we have to share John Barrowman. He grew up here
April 19, 2011 at 11:16 am
I SO want John Barrowman to marry NPH and have fabulous singing gay-bies. But sadly this is not to be.
April 19, 2011 at 11:30 am
^hopes dashed
April 19, 2011 at 11:55 am
Ok, I guess that smile (and that ass) can’t belong to one country alone…
April 19, 2011 at 10:53 am
I’ve been looking for something to go with my commemerative cock ring from the Princess Elizabeth/Prince Philip wedding…
April 19, 2011 at 10:53 am
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April 19, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Really? What constitutes an appropriately manly form of contraception?
April 19, 2011 at 2:03 pm
BEAR TRAPS
Just stick it up near the cervix. Head him off at the pass!
April 19, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Ooo, I know… Regina dentata!
April 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm
A knot tied at the base, of course.
April 19, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Duct tape.
April 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm
so whats to say they aren’t both?
April 19, 2011 at 11:15 am
Gives a whole new meaning to “a Royal pain in the ass”
April 19, 2011 at 11:23 am
Keep Calm, no Conception
April 19, 2011 at 11:58 am
With these condoms wouldn’t be more like “Keep calm and use Plan B”?
April 19, 2011 at 12:14 pm
keep calm and contracepti-on
April 19, 2011 at 11:33 am
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April 19, 2011 at 11:36 am
Ah, it does remind me of the old days when the entire court would put the married couple to bed, have the sheets blessed by a priest, and see if they go at it. Though I doubt they would have used condoms, as they did want them to bow chicka wow wow for baby.
Splendid find as ever!
April 19, 2011 at 11:59 am
So, if you’re a Republican (British sense, not American), does that mean you’re buying condom boxes with Oliver Cromwell’s face on them as a protest?
April 19, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Maybe you just throw these on the fire on Guy Fawkes night? Ooh now that would be something, I envision these things going sparkly and making nice purple flames!
April 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm
And so just where does the tiara go in this wedding?
Just a suggestion, but perhaps these could be given as gifts & put in yesterday’s “weeding bags?” That would be perfect.
April 19, 2011 at 1:09 pm
I promise you I’m not trying to be funny, but I thought the bottom of the box said, “contains a triumvirate of RECTAL prophylactics”.
April 19, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Doesn’t the word “jewels” usually refer to the testicles? I don’t think you want to shove those into the condoms, no matter how regal the latex may be.
April 19, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Also: “Coming soon – ‘Savile Row’ Bespoke Condoms”
…will they have pinstripes?
April 19, 2011 at 6:03 pm
I do so love a man in a nice suit. Or out of it.
April 19, 2011 at 2:38 pm
And, thanks to FARK telling me about it, there is this:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3534902/New-Brit-beer-is-made-with-Viagra.html
For when you want a stiff drink.
April 19, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Reminds me of my favourite royal sex toys, The Tubors.
April 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm
I was thinking of something to commemorate this royal wedding for my mom. I think the Charles and Diana teacup she has is boring… this would look so much better on the mantel.
April 19, 2011 at 6:49 pm
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April 19, 2011 at 8:08 pm
It’s an old English saying, the exact origin unknown, which basically implies putting up with something distasteful for the benefit of Queen and country.
April 19, 2011 at 9:50 pm
The apocryphal story says that it was Queen Victoria’s advice to her daughter on her wedding night.
April 20, 2011 at 4:17 pm
If it’s true, it was pretty hypocritical of her. Victoria liked teh sex, and apparently went mental when she didn’t get it.
Quenen Vicky was actually a pretty cool lady.
April 20, 2011 at 6:33 am
What Spasticaster & EricaVee both say. It’s a woman’s duty to conceive a son for her country, England, so that he can die in the navy – or can produce an heir to the crown, if you’re in that bloodline. To quote Billy Bragg – “How can you lie there and think of England, when you don’t even know who’s on the team?”
April 19, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Cannot stop laughing at “condoms of distinction” for some reason.
April 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm
He looks like a young Steve Buscemi in that souvenir portrait.
April 20, 2011 at 1:03 am
Will & Kate Papa Johns pizza portrait, sadly only available in the UK :
April 20, 2011 at 6:34 am
Do they deliver?
April 20, 2011 at 7:38 am
Wierd but yummy!