403 comments on How to Sell an Action Figure (MNSFW)
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April 14, 2011 at 9:43 am
More like Double-DC. Hey-oh!
April 14, 2011 at 9:43 am
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April 14, 2011 at 9:53 am
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April 14, 2011 at 10:02 am
the patriarchy lives!
April 14, 2011 at 10:57 am
‘I guess that’s what I get for learning about gazes in my Visual Cultures class.’
Or maybe for not learning enough. There’s a hell of lot more to life than 101-level classes.
April 15, 2011 at 11:08 pm
On the contrary, there is very little in life that CAN’T be explained in a 101 class.
April 14, 2011 at 12:16 pm
“Visual Cultures” is the new “Film Appreciation,” except that after a semester of “Film Appreciation,” I didn’t hate all men, only Alfred Hitchcock.
April 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm
oh my go, ChaoticOasis, you are such a blow hard.
All I had to do was Google your screen name to see that you are an artist that is completely obsessed with sexy pictures of women.*
So now that i know this, I see that the problem is that you are a complete and total closet case and I almost feel sorry for you. Almost but not really, I dont really feel sorry for you because not only are you a pretentious stuck-up asshole, you are also a total hypocrite. And if there is anything worse than being a closet case homo that hates the very images that arouse them, it is being a pretentious stuck-up hypocrite asshole.
*how do I know this art belongs to you? One of your pictures is your avitar. Also, same screen name. http://chaoticoasis.deviantart.com/
April 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Whoa, that’s a little creepy, don’t you think? Somebody makes a comment that you (and ok, like 106 other people) don’t like and you go google stalking and posting links to other sites where they’ve been?
April 14, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Wow, very nice catch there.
You’d think that people who grew up with the internet would know that anything can be searched these days.
I love how she’s all like “OMG MEN SUCK, THEY LIEK BOOBIES” here… then on dA she’s all like “I POST ON LOLITA ART COMMUNITIES! YAY FOR BOOBIES AND SKIN! -insert obnoxiously huge self photo here-”
April 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Classy erotica & blatant skanky ass are 2 entirely different things. You will also note that ChaoticOasis is not trying to sell action figures. I know everyone is jumping down her throat, but it is true that there is a harsh double standard when it comes to the sexes. Ever work at a porn shop? I have: the skankiest crap was what the men went for, the classier stuff the ladies went for – there was always SUCH a difference whenever a couple came in together – ALWAYS would pick the ‘ladies’ title. Anyway, my point: The auction listings are 100% geared toward men, and that’s a pretty shallow thing to do when your clients could also include women. Also, she is clearly not advertising the figs as they are impossible to see.
April 14, 2011 at 3:49 pm
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April 14, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Oh God Dammit, she’s Canadian. We’re supposed to be cool.
(Where by cool, I mean boring, polite, and super laid back.)
April 14, 2011 at 7:08 pm
I’m aware you can google my screen name. I’m ChaoticOasis on almost every site I’m signed up with.
When the fuck did I ever say anything homophobic? Yeah, I find women attractive. I like corsets and lingerie. I am NOT sexually attracted to them, I DO NOT like to see them so often in blatantly sexual poses. Sometimes its beautiful, but a lot of the time it’s just smut. My ‘Clothing for Masochists’ piece? Project for a printmaking class. She’s in a pose like that because it’s supposed to be like a pin-up ad. How about we don’t base what I do and do not like off of three images in my gallery?
April 14, 2011 at 7:12 pm
@HelloInterloper: The Lolita Art Communities I post to are about Lolita fashion, which is highly influenced by the Victorian and Rococo fashions. Not based on the Nabokov book. How about you stalk a little harder next time?
Men don’t suck because they like boobies. They suck for reasons like LadyAmethyst mentions.
April 15, 2011 at 3:20 am
@LadyAmethyst: If there’s differences in sexuality amongst men and women why are you so sure there’s a right and a wrong?
April 14, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Don’t worry, hon. You’re not the first undergrad to get overly excited and get feminism wrong. It’ll blow over.
April 14, 2011 at 7:13 pm
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April 15, 2011 at 7:59 am
@Mr. Appropriate: I never said “Right & Wrong”, I compared “Class & Ass”. Some examples of the porn store experience: Popular titles for the ladies: anything Jenna Jameson or Jill Kelly productions, focusing on a story & production values. Popular titles for the men: Barely Legal were HUGE amongst the over-50 crowd, as was anything really raunchy like “F*ck My Gaping A$$hole Gangbang vol 12 4+Hours!!!” But the worst one IMO: No Limits #9, which featured a large pic on the back cover of a man & woman doggystyle – but the man is holding the woman’s head under water of a pool. THIS would be my opinion of wrong if you really want one.
April 15, 2011 at 8:06 am
@ MrAppropriate, part 2: The No Limits #9 was one of our best renters, btw..all by men ( I remember this one distinctly, beacuse it is the ONLY one I actually mentioned to my manager. No avail, it rented too well. Ah well, can’t say I didn’t try
Tho I will say this about the sexes: I solely had to calm down an irate male customer holding a full gasoline can…his grandson had found one of the old splashy VHS covers on the front lawn…so yeah, good times!!
April 14, 2011 at 10:17 am
I don’t see any men in these pictures. What are you driving at?
April 14, 2011 at 10:32 am
I think there is a man’s hand on her butt in one of the pics. If that’s the issue here, I have to agree. I only buy action figures that have never been around men ever. Of course, my womynly action figure case is tragically empty. (yay for caffeine-driven tangents!)
April 14, 2011 at 10:33 am
I predict a tedious lecture on the pernicious “Male Gaze” is in our future.
April 14, 2011 at 10:45 am
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April 14, 2011 at 12:08 pm
I reckon you’re it, Bronc. How’s it feel to represent all of manliness?
April 14, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Hello.
There were action figures in those pictures?!
April 14, 2011 at 1:58 pm
I don’t see the hand, they all look like her own to me.
April 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm
im getting real pissed off here its not even funny!! where the fuck are the action figures?
April 14, 2011 at 6:29 pm
@Concept of Cow:
There is one:
I have one prominently on my fireplace mantel. I’d sell it to you, but I’m holding out for a hot boyfriend who will model it for me (suggestively, of course) when I sell it on eBay.
April 14, 2011 at 10:45 am
I can make an ASSumption of what she meant by it, but we can see if the ASS can be hers instead of mine.
April 14, 2011 at 10:56 am
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April 14, 2011 at 10:59 am
Of course I think this was directed at men. I just don’t know what your angle is here; and I wonder why you started the entire discussion by saying “And this is why I hate most men.”
That sounds like a pretty hateful, sexist thing to say.
April 14, 2011 at 11:12 am
As a lesbian, I am definitely aware of women’s right’s issues on a regular basis. I totally get that women in so many situations are objectified on a daily basis in such subtle ways that most people don’t even notice it, and would rather call you a crazy feminist than listen to what you have to say.
However, your original comment just felt a little unwarranted. You hate most men because of this? The is a WOMAN, and she is choosing to do this. I don’t see why men should even be brought into the equation. Her pictures are comical if anything.
You bring up the past post about a woman’s gross fingers, but in reality she did make a poor marketing decision. I don’t want to see someone’s crusty fingers when I’m shopping, whether they’re a woman’s or a man’s. So I don’t see why that makes this a women’s rights issue.
April 14, 2011 at 11:38 am
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April 14, 2011 at 11:47 am
Most of the people who have opinions on the internet are stupid, and roughly half of them are women. Stop acting like this makes you special!
April 14, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Does Visual Cultures teach anything about the “power of victimhood,” or whatever they’re calling it now? We used to just say, “Put on your big-girl panties and stfu.”
April 14, 2011 at 12:45 pm
The irony here is that the section of the public interested in buying the action figures won’t even notice the women in the photos. What stereotype?
April 14, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Oh gawd, just FLOUNCE ALREADY! You’ve already left enough epic flouncy material, gained the disapproval of hundreds and even Bronc himself… we need the grand finale!
April 15, 2011 at 10:58 am
No, it’s not scientifically proven. It’s been theorised by Evolutionary Psychologists. Evolutionary Psychology is, by it’s very nature, a pseudo-science. None of its hypothesese can ever by tested empirically, so they can never be proven. You are correct that it has been hypothesised though. It’s had the hell hypothesised out of it by all manner of quacks looking for funding.
April 14, 2011 at 11:03 am
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April 14, 2011 at 11:10 am
Quit your bitching. You’re telling me you’ve never thought about a man in a sexual way? We’re all sex objects at some point in our lives. There’s plenty of men that I have no interest intellectually, that I’d still probably like to have a good boning session with. Sexism goes both ways and you’re being hateful and sexist towards men as we speak. Also, it’s been proven that pornographic material catches the eye of women just as much, if not more than men – so I see this listing as nothing more than shock value. ANYONE would click on that, even if it was just out of curiosity.
April 14, 2011 at 11:18 am
You like looking at women’s bodies but it makes you mad that straight men like it, too? How do you reconcile these two thoughts? And what do the men you know admit to thinking about?
Thank you for at least admitting that first statement was poorly chosen. If you’d inserted any other word in there besides “men” you’d probably have been banned immediately.
April 14, 2011 at 11:20 am
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April 14, 2011 at 11:22 am
First of all, ChaoticOasis it is ridiculous that you would start this conversation thread having a woman in a corset (not just underwear, but body modifying underwear)as your avatar.
Secondly who the hell said men are the only ones into this? I am a woman and these pics are totally hot to me.
Thirdly, these are women doing what they choose and it seems to me that your pretend feminist bullshit is telling them they can’t because some, most, all men might be aroused by it. Did it ever occur to you that might be exactly what they want and none of your buisness even if you did take a class that does not really exist?
Lastly, regarding your rhetorical comment that “it [is] scientifically proven that men’s minds focus on the visual more so than women’s.” First let’s assume this hogwash is true but hey, well, hell then, you hate men for a something that they is a scientific fact about their brains? Who’s the sexist now?
April 14, 2011 at 11:23 am
If this were a sexy woman selling cars or laundry detergent or tampons, it wouldn’t be on Regretsy. The humor is that this woman is buying in to the belief that people who would buy these items are desperately horny and much more familiar with theory than with practice.
So we’re all, in a less misandristic way, agreeing with your evaluation. But only in the context of this seller’s target market, not men in general.
April 14, 2011 at 11:26 am
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April 14, 2011 at 11:30 am
ChaoticOasis- Stop taking life so seriously! Last I checked, Regretsy was a satirical website. Don’t you think maybe, just maybe, the person in the pictures agreed to do it because it is FUNNY?! What a concept, people can be funny. PS the other post you were referring to, for me it was all that BS she wrote about that womyn nonsense that made the post funny not just the fact that she was in her skivvies.
April 14, 2011 at 11:38 am
Waiiit a sec…
“I like looking at women’s bodies in non-provocative poses to help me with learning how human anatomy works so I can draw it without reference. I just dislike the seductive poses that I see everywhere.”
Now, it’s quite small, so it’s entirely possible that I’m mistaken… but isn’t your avatar a woman in sexy/fetish underwear showing off her garters? Because that’s it makes me wonder what kind of “non-provocative” references you’re using…
April 14, 2011 at 11:40 am
Kobe Bryant is why I hate most men. :p
April 14, 2011 at 11:41 am
I prefer to think most men are not like him.
Most professional athletes, on the other hand….
April 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm
This is why I hate the word “most.”
April 14, 2011 at 12:49 pm
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April 14, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Open comment to ChaoticOasis.
First off…I’m a guy!
Let’s look at this from the proper perspective. This is a MARKETING thing. Who would buy most of the items listed. Nerdy Boys and Geeks! What will get their attention…a woman they will never be able to get! Is this wrong? NO!
Romance Novels put hot men on the covers all the time…do us guys care? NO! Products targeting women portray men as big and dumb…do we care? NO! Chanel Perfume put a half naked man coming out of a pool in its ads…do we care? NO!
But put a hot woman in a beer ad and the world gets in an uproar!
I applaud this seller, because she is making her ads stand out from the competition. And that is the purpose of MARKETING!!!
So, just get over yourself! Personally, I was gonna post shirtless pictures of myself holding my products in my Etsy listings, but I was afraid that would decrease my traffic!
P.S. Take a look at her bio on Ebay…Too Funny!
April 14, 2011 at 1:27 pm
I hate the word, “why”.
April 14, 2011 at 2:03 pm
@MAG
Men have not historically had their entire value placed on their worth as sex objects and on their visual appearance. This is where it is different. Sexism- whether it misogyny or misandry- is bad, but let’s not pretend that women have no reason to be upset when the worth of our being is shown to be only how we look.
April 14, 2011 at 3:19 pm
So you blame all men because marketers (who may or not be men) target ads at them?
So, because all those ads featuring super-skinny women are targeted at women, then I should hate all women because of the damage that kind of crap does to the body image of young girls?
1. You are nutty.
2. While these pictures don’t appeal to me, the women in them appear to have eaten something recently.
April 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm
Just give up and flounce already. >_>
April 15, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Chaotic: Evolutionary psychology is no more pseudo-science than is the theory of evolution; both rely on hypothesis and speculation. However, it’s readily apparent that many people who read regretsy are going to defend men, whether it’s because they are one, because they refuse to recognize the differences you mention, or because they fail to see your point and stop reading when they realize that there is an opportunity to right the wrongs of the world with a thumbs-down. You have a right to your opinion, as much as they do. But I suspect it’s the wrong audience to try and convince. In any case, yeah…but the ads are kind of funny. I think they were actually meant to have some humor value.
April 16, 2011 at 1:21 am
I hate words.
I fuckin’ love boobies.
June 16, 2011 at 12:31 am
O yay–Dyke here, too!
Do I really have to lend my bosom to men who are feeling painfully disenfranchised because a 12 year old with too much eyeliner made some misguided, though spit-firey remarks about man-hating?
This is worse than a survivors meeting at the center.
( regretsy is <3 !)
April 14, 2011 at 3:07 pm
I think she blames us all for the objectification of women. In other cases, making assumptions about a whole group is wrong, but it’s OK with men, because, you know, we are men.
April 14, 2011 at 6:57 pm
No, its not okay even if you are a man. There are quite a few good ones out there that have the morals to call out a hypocrite like her, come what may.
April 14, 2011 at 3:51 pm
No men in the pictures: BINGO!! Now, include a ripped dude bending over in a stripy loin cloth and you’d have…well, a lot of women probably laughing hysterically, really…
April 14, 2011 at 7:44 pm
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April 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Do you also hate lesbians and bisexual women? Because I like her tits, too.
April 14, 2011 at 3:46 pm
The tits are fine. Not so sure about some of the products. I mean, that first one is out of the original box, and for something they claim is new, that is completely unacceptable.
April 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Yeah I think it’s hot. *blushes*
April 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Yes, yes, the patriarchy into which we are all, male and female, involuntarily born is totally justification for personal hatred of half the human population based on the fact that they have danglies.
You CAN hate patriarchal culture without actually hating men, you know. Ugh, I can’t stand misandrists.
April 14, 2011 at 2:31 pm
A proper feminist doesn’t hate anyone based on their gender. But, what do I know.
April 15, 2011 at 11:43 am
I think it’s absurd to hate anyone based on their gender. Both assholes and angels come in all configurations of both physical sex and actual gender.
April 15, 2011 at 11:27 pm
I’m pretty sure the whole idea of feminism was to shed the idea of having to be a ‘proper’ anything.
April 14, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I’m straight and I would’ve clicked on that first picture. I think most of us are a little bit “ooh, boobies!” on a conscious or subconscious level.
April 14, 2011 at 4:02 pm
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April 14, 2011 at 9:43 am
It could be worse…just think about the term “action figure” for a minute and you’ll see what I mean.
April 14, 2011 at 10:58 am
My mind already went there. In fact, I was a little relieved by the actual pictures!
April 14, 2011 at 9:43 am
“Oh, it’s probably safe enough, I’ll just read it at work”
*click*
*coworker walks up whining about something which he should know the answer to by now but doesn’t*
“OH GOD MINIMIZE”
Thanks, April.
April 14, 2011 at 10:18 am
Same thing happened to me. Thank God the pastor’s wife’s shoes are kind of loud today.
April 14, 2011 at 10:38 am
ha! there was a funeral today so nobody came in my office!
April 14, 2011 at 10:43 am
Lucky!
April 14, 2011 at 10:44 am
I mean about no one coming into your office. Sorry for, you know, whoever’s loss.
April 14, 2011 at 9:43 am
Sick, who wants Green Lantern after he’s been in some russian chick’s crotch?
Now if it was the model from the nutless underwear, and the package was resting just beneath his scrotum, maybe. MAYBE.
April 14, 2011 at 10:05 am
But only with his original package
April 14, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Gives a new meaning to “mint in box“
April 14, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I knew bajingo wash was gonna appear soon!
April 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm
When my boyfriend saw the listing for the Green Lantern next to her crotch, I think part of him died inside. He loves action figures and is a collector, but he has a strict policy that none of the pieces in the collection smell like vagina.
April 14, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Maybe you can have the size of the smell changed for him.
April 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm
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April 14, 2011 at 2:59 pm
But it’s clever marketing… she’s showing that it’s mint, in the box, by placing it in front of a box for comparative value. It’s genius!
April 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Somehow I don’t think that second box is “mint”.
April 14, 2011 at 9:43 am
I don’t get it. What’s wrong with this?
April 14, 2011 at 10:00 am
Some pretty beef meat curtains are touching the merchandise.
Buyer beware and proceed with hand sanitizer.
April 14, 2011 at 2:31 pm
I don’t think it’s the hands that need sanitizing!
April 14, 2011 at 7:18 pm
You mean she’s THAT ballerina, as well?
April 14, 2011 at 9:44 am
Boobies = POWER
any Gamer girl could tell you this
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
They don’t even have to be good ones, you just have to have them.
April 14, 2011 at 9:53 am
This is true. I went Christmas shopping for my son and son-in-law at Bedrock Comics once. I have never had so many guys want to know if they could help me. You’d think they’d never seen an actual woman before.
April 14, 2011 at 10:13 am
If my fiance can’t get the answer he wants about missing comic books/ out of stock toys/ action figures, he just sends me in to ask. Then they bend over backwards, offering to order things, have them shipped in “special” and “I know a guy who can get you one, let me call him….”
April 14, 2011 at 10:15 am
“You’d think they’d never seen an actual woman before.”
Oh, you would thing it…and you’d be right, too.
April 14, 2011 at 10:16 am
THINK, not thing. sigh.
April 14, 2011 at 2:46 pm
A couple years ago, when it was still new and hard to find, I saw “Chew Volume 1:Taster’s Choice” as I walked past a store window. The young guy working there saw me staring, and looked puzzled. When I walked in and said that I’d been looking all over for it, I thought he was going to pass out. Of course, I was probably old enough to be his mom. I couldn’t help but giggle.
April 14, 2011 at 10:23 am
And that’s why I always feel so awkward in game stores.
April 14, 2011 at 10:27 am
It’s about the same feeling I get when I wear non-ironic preppy clothes into a Hot Topic.
April 14, 2011 at 10:27 am
I like going into a store that specializes in Warhammer stuff…Buying something then going out to the car to get my army and make the boys cry when they get beat by a girl.
It amuses me.
April 14, 2011 at 10:48 am
Its so much worse when you go in asking for hard core zombie comics – ahem, “graphic novels”, ahem. Then you want to know about when the new Duke Nukem comes out & you get the look of “chicks play games?” followed quickly by “chicks IN my game store?” & rapidly followed by the, oh so suave, jiggle of change in pants pocket. That is SOOOO gross! Explains why I dislike most dudes that game!
April 14, 2011 at 12:40 pm
I am a woman in my 50s.
GameStop, 4 p.m., buying a WoW time-card. The 20-something shagboy behind the counter smiles and calls me ma’am, and tries to start a conversation about who might be the WoW-player in my family. I tell him to hurry it up, I’m raiding ICC10 at 6, so my husband probably has dinner ready. His eyes get reeeeeeeeeeally big…
Ahh, good times.
April 14, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Every time I’ve been in a game store, I feel watched. Sometimes I want to scream “yes I have a set and they’re real, but you mouth-breather, will never see them.”
Perhaps I’m just too harsh. The employees are usually pretty cool… it’s just the other shoppers that make me feel weird.
April 14, 2011 at 2:59 pm
That’s actually why i love going into game & comics stores… it’s hilarious. The best is when you look them in the eye and smile. I like to think it makes their day!
The last place I bought comics had an “older” (re: 40′s) guy who worked behind the counter. He was totally cool and never made me feel awkward.
April 14, 2011 at 9:44 am
Free sex slave with purchase!
April 14, 2011 at 10:49 am
Ahhh, but what LEVEL sex slave is she? How do you level her up?
April 14, 2011 at 11:42 am
You upcycle the size of the smell, silly
April 14, 2011 at 12:55 pm
I’m not sure I want to know what an upcycled sex slave smells like.
I <3 all the sarcastic bitches and bastards on Regretsy. You make me laugh at least once a day.
April 14, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I don’t know, but I’m sure it involves a lot of grinding.
April 14, 2011 at 10:53 pm
I love you.
April 15, 2011 at 6:21 am
I also love you.
April 16, 2011 at 1:27 am
…third level Photoshop?
April 14, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Yes, but does she cook? Ya know because having to go to the kitchen for ANYTHING interrupts my game time. If I’m kicking ass as a lego Batman, don’t think I’m going to stop for dinner anytime soon.
April 14, 2011 at 9:44 am
I’m not the only one who thinks the bottom one has an extra action figure stuck down the front of those panties am I?
April 14, 2011 at 9:47 am
Ding ding ding…we have a winner! I need to photoshop up some sort of graphic for the daily “LOLZ SHEZ A MAN” prize.
April 14, 2011 at 12:40 pm
No, you’re not. Though I wasn’t clever enough to think of calling it an action figure.
April 14, 2011 at 9:45 am
Is it bad that I think this is kind of hilariously ingenious?
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
Me too! I think she’s brilliant for doing this. Also, she’s hot.
April 14, 2011 at 9:51 am
She is certainly enterprising, I’ll give her that.
April 14, 2011 at 10:07 am
Next she’ll be USS Enterprising.
April 14, 2011 at 8:15 pm
My nerd rage would chest burst from my body if she dared to sully up my NCC 1701 D with her twat shots.
April 14, 2011 at 9:52 am
Yeah, the angle and stripes on that one don’t work well together.
April 14, 2011 at 9:53 am
Well, that didn’t attached to the comment I wanted it to.
April 14, 2011 at 9:54 am
*attach.
Wow, this hasn’t started well for me. Maybe it’s time to start drinking?
April 14, 2011 at 12:45 pm
Another perfect avatar/comment match. {thumbs up}
April 14, 2011 at 10:57 am
Yes. It’s like barn wood for otaku.
April 14, 2011 at 12:07 pm
However boldly you might go, I’m pretty sure that more than one man has been there before.
April 14, 2011 at 9:45 am
I thought I was straight, being married to a guy and all, but I find myself… uh… suddenly desiring a large collection of action figures.
April 14, 2011 at 1:05 pm
What action figures?
April 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm
I think they call that “DC curious”
April 14, 2011 at 9:46 am
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April 14, 2011 at 9:49 am
The Blue Waffle? Is that a superhero or superheroine? DC or Marvel universe?
April 14, 2011 at 10:08 am
The IHOP Superheroes collection.
April 14, 2011 at 10:18 am
Just for the love of fuck nobody Google that.
April 14, 2011 at 11:51 am
DO NOT GOOGLE IT. If you’re curious, look it up on Urban Dictionary- but it’s still disturbing.
April 14, 2011 at 12:05 pm
Yes, it would’ve been much helpful if I’d said this.
I’ll make up for it with a link to an urban dictionary definition.
April 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm
The definition alone is enough to give me the heebie jeebies but some sick part of me still wants to jfgi.
April 14, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Don’t need to. Sooner or later somebody will make a pride locket of it out of polymer clay and it will end up on the front page of Etsy.
April 14, 2011 at 2:10 pm
April 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm
It’s okay to Google if you keep your image search filter on high and don’t click through to any websites, btw.
April 14, 2011 at 10:29 am
Goddamnit, Ruth. You *know* that made me do it.
April 14, 2011 at 11:20 am
*hangs head* This is not the first time I’ve said “For fuck’s sake, don’t google Blue Waffle” and people have. *sigh*
April 14, 2011 at 11:29 am
It’s kinda like being told “don’t think about a white elephant”. I had to google it and regretted it immediately. I’m going to try the cleaning eraser on my brain, if that doesn’t get the images out I’ll try a bottle of jack.
April 14, 2011 at 1:06 pm
Why? Why do people do this to me? At least the Urban Dictionary link DO NOT give pictures… but I did feel inclined to check that last picture again.
April 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm
My MOTHER told me TO google it so she could find out what it was. My mother is an open minded, snarky pain in the ass, but that is NOT something you want to see for the first time with your mother.
April 14, 2011 at 1:35 pm
I made that mistake in the past with the B.W.
There are things you just can’t un-see.
April 14, 2011 at 2:51 pm
/e sets up the brain bleach i.v. The line forms to the right, people. The line forms to the right. Just stay calm and… Oh, fuck. Did I just start to quote that damn thing?
April 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Oh, please. Do you really think that people reading a blog that has goatse as a mascot are going to be bothered by a little blue waffle or lemonparty?
April 14, 2011 at 3:58 pm
I’m kind of scared that all you guys don’t seem to know it’s a hoax. There’s no blue-making vaginal or vulval infection. And Planned Parenthood showed us real pictures that were much worse when they came to my high school.
April 14, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Snickerdoodle, that’s why I linked to the urban dictionary definition about the pictures. There are some gross-ass (gross-twat?) pictures out there about it. I find them much more disturbing than Lemon Party or Goatse any day.
April 14, 2011 at 12:03 pm
UGH, ok, after googling that I ended up just muttering profanity for about a minute and had to make an account to warn people off of doing the same… seriously, don’t do it. For me, it was worse than a that video with a couple chicks and a device meant for holding liquids. The first image that came up burned a hole in my brain.
April 14, 2011 at 9:46 am
What, do the guys buying these think they’re going to get them personally delivered? Or do they hang the picture over their overpriced piece of plastic and pretend they were in the room when it was taken?
April 14, 2011 at 9:48 am
“What, do the guys buying these think”
Not with the big head.
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
I’d bet that they hang the picture where it’s easily viewed while masturbating.
April 14, 2011 at 9:53 am
They’d probably take a good long whiff off the box, trying to pick up the scent of womanly bits. Especially that Green Lantern, since it’s so close to the long-desired for lady parts.
April 14, 2011 at 1:08 pm
I just realized that that 2nd picture is like an ad for that Vulva cologne stuff– the scent of a woman. I don’t think the buyer of THAT product is buying it for the figure inside.
April 14, 2011 at 10:19 am
See, the bonus of this is that all the blood has drained out of the head to go…elsewhere…while the purchase is being made. Thinking not necessary.
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
I encountered a similar seller looking up fishing lures awhile back. She would put 2 or 3 lures on her bare ass and get big money for common lures-wth? I would love to get great money for my stuff, but I think I will keep my bare ass private and just sell skanky shoes once in awhile.
April 14, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I’m pretty sure that displaying anything on my skinny white ass would not, repeat, not, result in sales.
It might, however, result in my being featured on Regretsy.
April 14, 2011 at 2:56 pm
Given the fact that, rather than having an ass, I instead have a flat wall that starts at my neck and ends at my thighs, I could probably sell barn wood.
When talking about my lack of butt, my dear mom asked if I have to hold on to the handicapped bars to keep from sliding off the toilet. Then she swore that she tried to find the guy with the best butt to give me a chance. After I awoke from the resulting aneurysm, I seriously reconsidered giving her that “World’s Best Mom” coffee mug.
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
Is this from the same seller as the star wars butt plug?
April 14, 2011 at 9:50 am
Hmm, so that’s why I’ve been single for so long. I obviously don’t collect enough action figures.
April 14, 2011 at 10:06 am
Odd, that’s usually how not to stay single
April 14, 2011 at 9:51 am
The light refracting in the Green Lantern plastic makes it look like she has a furry octopus in her drawers.
April 14, 2011 at 10:07 am
MMMM Octopus furries
April 14, 2011 at 9:52 am
Sure, THIS seller wears gloves…
April 14, 2011 at 9:52 am
Why are they giving away the goods for free? They should be advertising a bonus of booby pictures with every purchase! Gotta know the market, girls! Not very business savvy. Not savvy, at all.
April 14, 2011 at 9:58 am
If she sold these on Etsy, she could market them as art and charge $45 a pop.
April 14, 2011 at 10:00 am
She could probably charge more since at least you can tell what you’re seeing.
April 14, 2011 at 10:02 am
And it would be feminist!
April 14, 2011 at 9:54 am
I’m wondering if this technique will work if I try selling random shit from around the house on ebay…or are barnwood and dim lighting better choices?
April 14, 2011 at 10:01 am
Place boobs on barnwood. Take picture with the first piece of junk you see lying around the house. List said piece of junk for sale. Make fortune. Retire to the Isle Of You Have Got To Be Kidding Me.
April 14, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Wow – no “????” stage.
(you just made the Underpants Gnomes song play in my head)
I do <3 Regretsy…
April 14, 2011 at 9:56 am
eBay is not accepting my bid of “One romantic dinner with ample discussion of how the Prime Directive is more powerful than the Force.” This sucks.
April 14, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Who are you? Comic Book Guy?
April 14, 2011 at 12:54 pm
I only know that the drawing in his shop made me laugh out loud for real, which isn’t that easy to do these days. And then I went: “Ooh.”
Bravo, upscumbag.
April 14, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Worst Bid Ever…
April 14, 2011 at 12:51 pm
I would totally swap you one of my spare Tom-Baker-as-the-Doctor action figures for that dinner. And play devil’s advocate throughout.
April 14, 2011 at 1:03 pm
OOOOH! Ol’ Teeth and Curls! Does it come with the scarf?
April 14, 2011 at 9:30 pm
For a good sci-fi-geeky dinner date, I would KNIT it a scarf.
Seriously. I appear to have used up all the nerds in my area. Don’t tell me geeks never get laid.
April 14, 2011 at 1:18 pm
and for some reason I totally didn’t see your post. I’m not copying, promise!
April 14, 2011 at 1:17 pm
$20 if you want some devil’s advocate arguing for the Force.
April 14, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Well now that just comparing apples to oranges… I’m not sure how you would even begin to argue whether a principal/military order initiated by the minds of men is any way more “powerful” than a metaphysical-supernatural energy that interconnects everything in the universe?
sorry for the geek-out, I’m just trying to counteract the over-intense “male gaze” discussion happening in the earlier comments. Bring balance to the universe, as it were.
April 14, 2011 at 9:33 pm
Actually, my ex did a decent job of it tonight. (We were at Home Depot. It’s not relevant, but if you imagine the store personnel’s reactions to this being shouted across a couple of aisles, it does add to the humor.)
I thought the Prime Directive had no chance, the Force being, well, the fucking FORCE fercryinoutloud. But according to him, the Prime Directive is a direct futuretime projection of Catholic Guilt, which he, being a recovering Catholic, claims is the strongest power in the ‘Verse.
So there’s a starting point, at least…
April 14, 2011 at 9:56 am
I’m trying to figure out what keywords search results in finding these listings…
April 14, 2011 at 9:57 am
Boobs are the new barn wood?
April 14, 2011 at 10:40 am
ebay is behind, so barn wood is the new boobs
April 14, 2011 at 3:01 pm
barn wood is boobs for hipsters?
April 14, 2011 at 3:13 pm
That would explain a lot, wouldn’t it.
April 14, 2011 at 9:57 am
Wait, I’m confused. I only see the jean jacket in the first picture. That’s what you’re talking about, right?
April 14, 2011 at 9:58 am
Authorities couldn’t explain how the prostitution ring had managed to spread nationwide without detection.
“We keep a careful eye on Craigslist and Facebook, but this outfit’s only Web presence was an eBay store that sold toys,” said a spokesperson.
“We fear this may be a much bigger trend than we realize, so we’ve already assigned a team to checking online stores like eBay and Etsy.”
April 14, 2011 at 11:03 am
Brilliant!
April 14, 2011 at 9:58 am
What does M mean, in MNSFW? Mega? Mildly? Masturbate? Men?
April 14, 2011 at 10:22 am
I originally thought ‘MIGHT be unsafe for work), I think I was wrong.
April 14, 2011 at 12:08 pm
I read it as ‘Major’ or ‘Majorly’ Not Safe For Work
April 14, 2011 at 9:59 am
SeXXX sells? Is this like the used undies thing, and for an extra sum of money she’ll use the figure for a little “action” before shipping it to you?
April 14, 2011 at 10:07 am
In that case, I’m only buying if I can change the size of the smell.
April 14, 2011 at 11:45 am
If she uses them they are no longer MIB
April 14, 2011 at 9:59 am
I’m pretty sure that the “girl” is doing some action figure smuggling and tucking in those stripped drawers. That or they have a bush of serious magnitude.
April 14, 2011 at 10:23 am
Does someone need to see the vag wall again? Celebrate big big pussy!
April 14, 2011 at 11:45 am
the guy from The Sopranos?
April 14, 2011 at 10:00 am
Watch out some Etsy sellers might get ideas. Next thing you know we’ll be seeing some bottle cap earrings hanging off some nipples.
April 14, 2011 at 10:19 am
Might? One of us just did.
Tetas as a selling tool FTW. Thank you.
April 14, 2011 at 10:02 am
I don’t think they’re selling action figures. This looks like a front for a craigslist “adult services” section. And is it my imagination or am I seeing hair on her inner thighs?
April 14, 2011 at 11:32 am
I thought so too, but I’m thinking maybe it’s just stretch marks. Yeah, just stretch marks. As if that is somehow better than hair.
April 14, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Stretch marks are awesome. It means the woman is so sexy she’s just, like, EXPLODING WITH WOMANLY MEAT.
April 14, 2011 at 11:35 am
I think that’s just the marbleization pattern from light shining through the plastic. I’ve seen it before when holding one of my action figures Mint In Box up to the light.
Uh, I mean, when I was cleaning my automatic rifle.
April 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm
I would give that comment one million thumbs up if I could.
April 14, 2011 at 10:04 am
I’m *guessing* the purpose of the purple boob shot is show the scale of the action figure?
If they placed Doomsday next to my boobies, people might think they’re getting the giant Godzilla.
April 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm
OK, a giant Godzilla auction would get my attention, boobs or not, but I would need the Bandai tag still attached.
April 14, 2011 at 10:06 am
The second picture reminds me of Lady Gaga and I’m not exactly sure why.
April 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm
The glasses. I thought it too.
April 14, 2011 at 10:07 am
So…what you’re saying is……if I get some two-sided tape and use my fiancee’s warhammer figurines as pasties, I can double my profit when we sell some. Hell and Yes.
April 14, 2011 at 2:43 pm
man if only I had thought of this when my husband sold his old Transformers… my D-cups could have doubled our profit!
April 14, 2011 at 10:07 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 14, 2011 at 10:11 am
It’s all well and good if you’re pert.
Good luck finding two people to compete in an auction who are into both sci fi collectables and arses such as mine.
April 14, 2011 at 10:12 am
Also, I am accepting bids on this:
April 14, 2011 at 10:16 am
I love you.
April 14, 2011 at 10:21 am
SOLD!
April 14, 2011 at 10:22 am
I could so go for a Hairy Navel right now.
It’s like a fuzzy navel, but instead of schnapps you just do shots of Jack.
April 14, 2011 at 10:44 am
body shots?
April 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm
At first glance, I thought it was a donut. Then I glanced again. And a few more times, because I don’t see a lot of that kind of thing at home (mine’s a blond man). One more glance. OK, maybe I’ll come back later.
April 14, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Oh, there’s a Batwoman AF in there, too. Nice.
April 14, 2011 at 10:24 am
That happy trail did me in. ~*~PURCHASE~*~
April 14, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Happy trail? I do believe that is more like a Happy Interstate Highway! YUM!
April 14, 2011 at 10:25 am
toss in the pants and you got yourself a deal!
April 14, 2011 at 10:30 am
“I’d buy that for a dollar!”
April 14, 2011 at 10:31 am
You are totally hysterical-but you are not a blonde like she claims to be, so I am going with xendocowboy.
April 14, 2011 at 10:36 am
Yeah, if he had badly bleached body hair it would surely tip the scales here.
April 14, 2011 at 10:35 am
You’re my husband! Holy shit, I didn’t know you followed Regretsy, honey! (When you’re done here, could you *please* take out the recycling? The bins are full.)
April 14, 2011 at 10:38 am
You should upcycle the contents of your recycling bin and put it all on etsy with a nice price tage!
April 14, 2011 at 10:45 am
tag, not tage
April 14, 2011 at 10:36 am
Fabulous!
April 14, 2011 at 10:37 am
Congrats! I think you’ve proven the objectification double-standard.
April 14, 2011 at 11:01 am
The fur rug looks cool, but do I have to have the action figures on it, too?
April 14, 2011 at 11:08 am
Can I buy this as a fine art print? I might also want you to frame it for an additional cost.
April 14, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Yes.
(is my entire comment, for comedic effect – but would get axed without further elaboration due to the filters)
April 14, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Let’s see if I remember how to speak Bear…
“Yo, Bob, check out that otter. Think if I buy him a beer he’ll let me play with his ‘action figure’?”
April 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm
You speak bear Fluently: at least this polar bear didn’t detect an accent!
April 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm
I happen to be a huge Batman fan. Please reserve for me. Do you take PayPal?
April 14, 2011 at 1:28 pm
Is everything in the picture included?
April 14, 2011 at 1:48 pm
I understand the toy is not included but is just used in a strategic place as a cover up (regretsy has been policing porn images here recently).
April 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm
The toy is not included, but the action figures are?
April 14, 2011 at 4:55 pm
One action figure I think:)
Upscumbag, you really need to clarify what exactly you are selling here…
April 14, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Was sending the link to my brother’s via facebook and this was given as an option for the thumbnail… I could not figure out where the eff this image came from… lol
April 14, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Fan-fucking-tastic!
April 14, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Sofa King awesome Upscumbag. But wait, how did you get a pristine, still-in-the-package DC action fig……ohhhhh ;op
April 14, 2011 at 9:44 pm
You know, this is why I hate all women.
Haaaaaaa.
April 14, 2011 at 10:12 am
What? No Slave Leia outfits?
Amateurs….
April 14, 2011 at 1:25 pm
No skanky “Supergirl/Wonder Woman/Catwoman/etc.” Outfit either. I mean, how do you sale these with the right accessory outfits?
April 14, 2011 at 10:12 am
You know what. I’m a nerd. I know a ton of nerds. And I don’t care if that nerd DOES have a penis, if they’re searching for an action figure on e-bay all they’re going to notice about the listing is whether or not it’s MIB.
April 14, 2011 at 10:27 am
hahaha thats the first thing I thought too.
April 14, 2011 at 5:25 pm
See, I thought that this was like Nerd charity or something. Not only a free boob shot, but if you bought it, during check out it would ask you if you would like to donate $1 to the Science Fiction Museum Guild
April 14, 2011 at 10:16 am
Um…. I still don’t see the action figures.
April 14, 2011 at 10:18 am
my confusion is where the prices are so low…why show your butt to the world for $3 + s&h??
April 14, 2011 at 10:20 am
Okay, some prices are more expensive, but i can’t tell if it’s because of the crotch shot or if it’s a good item
April 14, 2011 at 10:18 am
It’s a tragedy that there’s no such character as the Red Lantern.
April 14, 2011 at 10:35 am
You haven’t been paying attention.
Red Lantern Corps
April 14, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Bronc, you’re my hero.
April 14, 2011 at 6:01 pm
There is. There’s a Lantern Corps for every colour of the spectrum as well as black and white.
April 14, 2011 at 10:23 am
“What everyone should know about me
”
Guys dig me because I don’t wear underwear. And when I do, it’s something VERY usual. Plus I have extra-long legs & a tiny waist.
she wears ‘very usual’ underwear? Is that what the kiddies are calling granny panties these days?
April 14, 2011 at 10:49 am
The ones she’s wearing in her listings are, indeed, very usual. Except that the stripes don’t line up, which my grandmother would tell you is a sign of poor craftsmanship.
April 14, 2011 at 11:18 am
LOL You spotted that too? I like to sew and I also like nice clothes, and mis-aligned stripes is a strict no-no… even on your no-no.
April 14, 2011 at 12:05 pm
It has been bludgeoned into my brain. If I send this listing to Grandma, she wouldn’t even notice the T&A. She’d just call me and say “I hope you’re not passing time with the kind of people who buy cheap clothing.”
April 14, 2011 at 10:27 am
I see that Mattel is finally breaking into the erotic category of toys. Bravo!
April 14, 2011 at 10:56 am
Finally? Have you not been looking at any Barbies in the last several years-they are little plastic hooker wannabes.
April 14, 2011 at 10:34 am
Shit why didn’t I think of that?!
Spider-Man for sale…
April 14, 2011 at 11:17 am
I am going to open up 20 shell accounts just so I can put more plus signs on this.
April 14, 2011 at 11:43 am
OMG
April 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Is Spidey’s HEAD missing?
April 14, 2011 at 10:35 am
Reminded me of calendar girls:)
Very smart move and for a good cause, I wish her luck.
April 14, 2011 at 10:41 am
Well…I can’t say I haven’t bought something because of a sexy woman in the near vicinity of the item. Haven’t you ever bought clothing online, then tried it on and said ‘oh yeah, I weigh 50lbs more than the model’?
April 14, 2011 at 11:16 am
Yes but not the actual item that was next to the sweaty skin. Blech
April 14, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Having worked at a clothing store, I sincerely, deeply hope you have never bought at a retail store.
April 15, 2011 at 1:31 pm
i wash everything before i wear it. i’m also really good at denial so i can fool myself into thinking i’m the first person to get boob sweat in my bras.
April 14, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I bought a fishnet dress as a surprise for my hubby. When I got it home I was looking at the package and how amazing the woman looked in the dress… and realized that I would probably look like a rump roast.
April 14, 2011 at 10:43 am
I wonder if this could work for things other than action figures. Could I squish some PlayDoh between my breasts and sell that as being in mint condition? Obviously, I’d have to include “Extruders not included” just to be clear on the listing.
How about our FP Little People Noah’s Ark set? There’s a good “Two by two” joke there.
And the things one could do with a t-ball set… well, let’s not get into that.
April 14, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Tiny Giraffe…you are a Marketing Genius!!
April 14, 2011 at 1:22 pm
My husband just told me that this is the usual way to sell auto parts on eBay
April 14, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Every time you post a comment I’m reminded of how much I love your name!
April 14, 2011 at 3:40 pm
I think it’s been the usual way to sell auto parts and tools for decades if not centuries.
April 14, 2011 at 10:54 am
Signs I’ve been on etsy too long: I see a picture of a woman selling an action figure by sticking it between her legs and all I can think is, “wow, she should throw a white sheet over that grandma couch.”
April 14, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Me too.
April 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm
I noticed the frayed carpet in the upper-right corner of picture #3, a la “Nature Abhors A Vacuum,” but I wasn’t going to mention it.
April 14, 2011 at 10:57 am
Prolly looking for a way to claim a boob job as a business expense. I don’t know what Ass Woman’s problem is though
April 14, 2011 at 11:10 am
Well for some of the people who collect action figures MIB, this may be as close as they ever get to boobies…
April 14, 2011 at 11:18 am
Geez, what are they going to think of next, Star Trek porn? LOL
Oh. Wait….
April 14, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Wait a minute! The purple hair girls were from Space: 1999 not Star Trek. This might not be authentic!
April 14, 2011 at 3:44 pm
No, the purple-haired girls were from UFO, but they were at the moon base, and both shows were produced by Gerry Anderson, so the mistake is understandable.
April 14, 2011 at 4:08 pm
You can see the S.H.A.D.O. logo (from UFO) on their uniforms.
April 14, 2011 at 8:18 pm
I stand corrected. All the Gerry and Sylvia Anderson stuff are fond and apparently age-addled memories. It seems that their earlier creations had more problems with wooden acting.
April 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/04/star_trek_the_next_penetration.php
Yeah, that’s a link about a new Star Trek: TNG pr0n they’re making. Lulz.
April 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm
April 14, 2011 at 11:21 am
April 14, 2011 at 11:35 am
According to the seller’s eBay profile, she sends buyers a link to all of her eBay photos with each purchase. I have to admit, I kinda admire her, erm, resourcefulness, except for the nagging sense that this is some form of prostitution.
April 14, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Do you really think the action figures are putting out? O.O
April 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm
It kind of makes me wonder if she’s a cam girl, looking for a new way to market herself. Which would at least mean she might not be spamming every blog in the world. One down, sixty seven million to go.
April 14, 2011 at 11:38 am
I never figured Kim Catrall to be a green lantern fan. But I guess the economy has hit her as well. Having to sell of action figures is hard.
April 14, 2011 at 11:40 am
Isn’t this what they call “Direct Marketing”?
April 14, 2011 at 11:53 am
I have to admit, I am very seriously considering this marketing technique when I ebay all of my friend’s Nascar collectibles. My rack is huge.
April 14, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Dangit! I gave mine away on Freecycle ‘cos I just couldn’t stand to look at them any more (Nascar collectibles, not my rack). Not having much of a rack myself, I’d have to use my ass as redneck bait…
April 14, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Ha ha ha! I almost wonder if these posts are by my friend. He used to sell computer parts on eBay…displayed over the crotch of his naked girlfriend. He figured nerds would want to buy the stuff ’cause it had been closer to a hot chick’s junk than they ever had.
April 14, 2011 at 12:52 pm
More importantly,how do guys who sell computer parts on eBay end up with hot chicks for girlfriends? Something very chicken and egg-ish here. And how did he talk said hot girlfriend into being a display for computer parts?
April 14, 2011 at 3:05 pm
She was a bit of an exhibitionist from the getgo.
And yeah, it’s a total contradiction that my friend had a hot girlfriend yet assumed that other nerds would not. Hell, I’ve got it goin’ awwwwwn and I have me a nerdy boy.
When he moved in with me, he brought at least fifteen boxes of comic books and, like, two boxes of clothes/toiletries/sundry household items.
April 14, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Okay,so has any of this stuff sold yet?
April 14, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Yes, look at her past sales. I don’t deal in action figures though so I can’t tell if she is getting better prices than usual-anyone know for sure?
April 14, 2011 at 2:42 pm
She is actually way under pricing them.
April 14, 2011 at 12:22 pm
I choose not to get involved in the whole sexism debate. But these pictures offend me for different reasons.
To me, they show that the sellers have no respect for their potential customers. This is the internal monologue I feel these sellers had when choosing to list their items in this way.
“Who buys action figures? Nerds. Hey! Nerds also don’t get laid and therefore their only access to women is via porn. If I list my action figure with a half-naked woman, I can fool them into buying it because they will be distracted by [boobies/butt/bajingo]!”
April 14, 2011 at 12:24 pm
The first photo, I can’t even SEE the goddam HeroClix character. And I don’t want my Green Lantern Action figure smelling like someone’s hillbilly bajingo.
If I weren’t at work, the photo I could do! Maybe later.
April 14, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Please, please, PBCGE.
April 14, 2011 at 2:11 pm
see below
April 14, 2011 at 12:29 pm
What irritates me the most is that they are all shitty pictures of the item being sold. I have purchased a lot of items on e-bay, in many different categories, but I never clicked bid unless The picture was clear enough for me to want to drop $$ on it.
Unless of course, much like Craigslist, these are just listings for Ukranian prostitutes and you get the action figure free?
April 14, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Like a Happy Meal?
April 14, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Or Crackerjack. You know, where the prize is in the bottom of the box.
YEAH I WENT THERE.
April 14, 2011 at 3:08 pm
…and you have to rummage and rummage and your hand and wrist get all sticky and okay I’m done now.
April 14, 2011 at 3:55 pm
High five!
April 14, 2011 at 4:04 pm
With vag hands?
April 14, 2011 at 12:35 pm
She is clever. We have all assumed that seller and model are one and the same person, but are they?
April 14, 2011 at 12:38 pm
I’m kind of disgusted but I am not entirely sure why. Is the seller insulting the intelligence of her buyers by assuming they will only want her merchandise if her body is in the photograph?
Or am I insulted because this tactic actually works thereby excluding me from making sales because I am not as attractive?
…I think I feel sad now.
April 14, 2011 at 12:43 pm
I think the purple bra is pretty and I want one. It probably doesn’t come in my size, though.
I am keeping the ass-shot idea in mind should I ever find that ridiculous collection of MTG cards in the attic that my kids collected when they were young. I think my ass could pull that off…
April 14, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Totally off topic but I am so excited! My Royal Wedding Mug came today-in time for me to drink tea out of it while watching the wedding. And guess what? It does have a picture of Harry-making my tea so much tastier.
April 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm
I’m not sure why Lady Gaga is selling Green Lantern figures on eBay for extra cash, but then I’ve never had a coke habit, so I guess I don’t know how costly they are to keep up…
April 14, 2011 at 1:03 pm
This technique COULD backfire in another way. There’s some real honest-to-”Bob” research showing that not all men have the same idea of an “ideal” woman. So if she’s not really attractive to the people most likely to buy the product, she’ll get people clicking off her page faster.
So pairing merchandise and models is like pairing food and wine. For action figure fans I’m sure that we’re looking at a nachos and Boone’s Farm kind of woman.
April 14, 2011 at 1:40 pm
Prince Buzkill (my husband) assures me that his friend who has his girlfriend “model” the auto parts he puts up on eBay always result in sales.
I’m going to try this with the crap in our basement that we need to get rid of.
April 14, 2011 at 1:08 pm
I’ve got a collection of action figures. Crap, I’ve missed my calling!
April 14, 2011 at 1:28 pm
April 14, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I’m home from work now. And yes, that’s me. And I’m 54.
April 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm
All hail LUR! Ruler of Omicron Persei eight! And Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle’s tatas!
April 14, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Keep an eye on your human horn, there.
April 14, 2011 at 4:18 pm
I want that bra! Where did you buy it?
April 14, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Derp. I should have read down further. Sorry.
April 14, 2011 at 9:10 pm
Zowie!
April 14, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Nice houndstooth bra!
April 14, 2011 at 1:52 pm
And your hooters are spectacular, too!
April 14, 2011 at 1:53 pm
that’s imdustrial-strength underwire in there.
Otherwise I look like something out of National Geographic these days.
April 14, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Lol! You have Helen Mirren titties!
(that’s a compliment, the woman’s breasts are amazing)
April 14, 2011 at 5:25 pm
http://www.popeater.com/2011/04/10/snl-helen-mirren-magical-bosom/
Safe for late night network TV, but probably NSFW. They say “titties” a couple times.
April 14, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Is that…Lrrrr?
April 14, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I think I’m putting to much thought into this.
I’m a girl.
I’m a gamer/geek.
I have action figures and comics and Magic cards and (part of) a Warhammer 40k army and… you get the idea. Most of the games in the house are here because I wanted them.
I’m familiar with the weirdness and attention that a reasonably attractive girl gets when she adds in a geeky hobby.
I can see why this occured, and why it might work.
And my only response here?
But damn girl, get a better camera, and make sure your pictures actually show the product AND the goods. I’m not buying ‘clix that I can’t see, and your boobs aren’t that great.
April 14, 2011 at 1:33 pm
I am a total nerd… one of about a dozen Inuyasha figures that I have:
April 14, 2011 at 1:47 pm
What? You chose her over Inuyasha himself?
Great bra by the way. Where’s it from? I’m thinking I need a houndstooth bra as well. Looks shiny. I’m such a sucker for shiny um… stuff.
April 14, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Lane Bryant. It’s a Cacique
April 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Lane Bryant? Really? I would have never guessed.
*googling website*
April 14, 2011 at 1:58 pm
Inuyasha’s about 3x that size and still MIB.
April 14, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Ah! Yes. Good choice then. And she fits so well!
April 16, 2011 at 1:36 am
Boobies and MIB action figures. I’m getting hot.
April 14, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Kikyo!
April 17, 2011 at 7:40 pm
I’m curious what was in this picture that was more heinous than the other two to get it removed.
But not really. I’ve had several photos pulled from ImageShack and Photobucket that in no way violated the respective TOS. What they mean is someone clicked a little button and they can’t be bothered to verify any claims.
April 14, 2011 at 1:38 pm
this is the last one.
April 14, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Totally fun. I think you should put it up on ebay.
April 14, 2011 at 1:57 pm
GODZILLA IS NOT FOR SALE!
(I obtained this from the RockAmerica office when they moved and I was hired to wire the video room of the ir new digs)
April 14, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I knew you were going to say something like that!
April 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm
That’s not Godzilla! It’s not even a good knock off.
Even with a quick glance one can see the lack of dorsal plates. Sometimes the plates are smaller, and sometimes they are gigantic, as with the 2000 Godzilla, but they are always there.
The eyes are also too far to the sides of his head and lack the brow ridge.
There’s usually a cat-like quality to Godzilla’s facial features, although in some versions it’s more pronounced that others.
Hey, we are doing the action figure nerd thing here, right? Let me do mine.
April 15, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Kaiju-nerd your heart out; I’ll just be over in the corner falling in love.
April 14, 2011 at 1:47 pm
RAWR!
April 14, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Ha! Godzilla is showing you some love.
April 14, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Damn girl. He’s all up in yo’ Tokyo.
April 14, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I like how Godzilla is sort of hugging you… I picture him saying something like “rowr, i love you mama!”
April 14, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I got more of a “rowr, I’m gonna nibble on your nipple” vibe…maybe that’s just me.
April 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm
“Yes… yes. This is a bodacious land, and we will cop a feel! We will rule over all this land, and we will call it… Boobies!”
April 14, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Am I think only one who read “Dark Beast” as “Dark Breast” initially?
I had to do a double take.
April 14, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Get those damn toys outta the way! I’m tryin to look at porn here. Sheesh.
April 14, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I will buy what she’s selling.
April 14, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Oh, look! Ballerina Mandata is holding the Green Lantern with her bajingo hand!
April 14, 2011 at 2:42 pm
Mom’s not going to like THIS on her computer.
April 14, 2011 at 2:57 pm
They took a page from Carl’s Jr. add. The latest one has Miss Turkey in a bikini.
April 14, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Is it bad that I think this girl is doing this as some sort of twisted revenge against her ex? Like, she got the toys in the break-up and is now selling them on Ebay because his sorry ass cheated?
I need to stop making up backstories for Ebay sellers.
April 14, 2011 at 3:46 pm
April 14, 2011 at 8:24 pm
I SUCH want the statue!!
April 14, 2011 at 3:39 pm
I’m sad I’m not drunk enough to model my fantabulous Pokemon card collection against my VERY FUCKING FANCY
April 14, 2011 at 3:40 pm
push up bra. And apparently I’m drunk enough to post like a moron =(
April 14, 2011 at 4:04 pm
I thought about pulling out the magic cards and my ass, but I can’t get a good shot without help and I don’t want to explain myself to the male <.<
April 14, 2011 at 4:02 pm
So she built herself into the price then? An extra dollar i guess.
April 14, 2011 at 4:05 pm
I am soooo tired of online skank. Its so 2006. Its not liberating, or empowering or whatever it is they tell themselves. She is the same woman who complains men don’t respect her
April 14, 2011 at 6:17 pm
She is the same woman who complains men don’t respect her
So…if someone posts a sexy picture of herself online, she doesn’t deserve respect? Or am I misunderstanding you?
April 14, 2011 at 8:26 pm
It’s a broad generalization.
*I’m exceptionally sorry, but I really couldn’t resist…*
April 14, 2011 at 4:10 pm
ROFLMAO! I love how the conversation starts out with some angry hippie feminist waffling on about the evils of men and the exploitation of women in reference to a woman who realizes she’s hot and uses her gifts to entice the drooling dork masses to buy her action figures and halfway down turns into a conversation about blue waffles:-D
America, what a country!
April 14, 2011 at 4:15 pm
We laugh, but I’m sure all those action figures sold for twice their regular value.
April 14, 2011 at 4:46 pm
WINNING AT EBAY
April 14, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I bid on some map and I don’t even know what it goes to. Nor… do I care.
April 14, 2011 at 5:03 pm
I know I should probably think this is tacky, but I just can’t. I don’t know if it’s the comment on sex in advertising, the perfect way to target her audience or what. I like to think that rather than a slut, she’s a chick with balls and a sense of humor.
In full disclosure: I am a geek who dates a nerd and I can’t wait to show him this and have a laugh.
April 14, 2011 at 5:44 pm
I was kind of hoping she was just some really awesome hot chick, too, but I think she just likes attention a lot. At one point on her profile she encourages the men that bid on her stuff to try and woo her. If I wasn’t so jealous of her tiny waist and long legs (in all honesty) I’d probably be concerned that some psycho stalker/ax murderer was headed her way.
April 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm
*sigh* you’re probably right. I only base my hopeful opinion on the pictures posted here, I did not look at the listings.
It’s like the time I thought the “This is not water” sticker above the water button was a social commentary on the pollution in city drinking water only to find out that it was actually soda water — hence the sticker. Sometimes I have high hopes for society and social commentary that are just not happening. I think I read the internet too much.
July 19, 2011 at 10:38 am
If you look closely at that last picture, I think you might be righter than you knew; she really is a chick with (a lovely set of) balls.
April 14, 2011 at 5:45 pm
I am greatly disturbed by that last one.
April 14, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Some of the ones on ebay look like she shit out the Green Lantern or something. WTF? Just set up a soft core porn site. Guys apparently love that lonely housewife amateur shit.
April 14, 2011 at 8:29 pm
That’s the point: she already has, according to her listing & her Sweet & gooey wording…
April 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm
I’ve got it! I think what she’s trying to tell men is that if you have a girlfriend like her, you’ll willingly sell your action figures on eBay! Especially if she tempts you to do it with fancy underwear.
I just don’t know whether men with lots of figures should be enthralled or concerned, though…
April 14, 2011 at 6:24 pm
My son collects heroclix, but he collects the ones from Marvel. He’s got probably hundreds of them (he’s currently working on a cabinet to display them in).
He’s also gay.
Just out of curiosity, I looked up ‘Marvel Heroclix’ on Ebay, and almost all the photos used in the ads are simply pictures of the heroclix for sale (I can’t say they’re all just picture, because I didn’t feel like looking through 35 pages worth of 3000+ heroclix on the off-hand chance there MIGHT be one in there with a woman showing off her boobs.
The point is, if my son bought DC heroclix, those photos wouldn’t entice him to buy the figures represented. He tends to buy based on price, condition, and what he needs to complete his set. And, being gay, he’s not attracted to women. So we can assume that the seller was aiming for the straight male market. Or maybe lesbian or bi or trans comic fans. Because not everyone in the world is straight.
April 14, 2011 at 7:15 pm
1.) Dear God, and
2.) Objectively, she does have a nice rack.
April 14, 2011 at 8:22 pm
The troublesome part: the ultimate point of the entire listing is not the figures themselves, but the website where you can download the pictures…It reminds me of back in the day when anime sellers on eBay would offer a “VHS insert sleeve” for $10, and then throw in a fan-sub or fan-dub tape for FREE!! WOW!! So, just another way of getting around the rules/promoting to a specific fan-base.
April 15, 2011 at 11:12 am
You say that as though it were a bad thing.
April 14, 2011 at 9:26 pm
Yes, but am I the only one wondering how such great tits in lacy bra & flat stomach in pics 1 & 2 go with malformed ass in wedgie granny-panties? Can’t be same peson, can it?
April 14, 2011 at 9:39 pm
There are already a lot of comments here, so I’m sure that someone has already said this, but is NO ONE at all bothered by the unsanitary condition of those items? Jesus, what if she farted on one of them? I mean, unless that’s your thing.
April 15, 2011 at 12:08 am
I am informing my finance that the new name for my vajay is Kilowog and I know why he’s having trouble selling his double up clix on ebay these days.
April 15, 2011 at 9:48 am
I sent this link to a friend of mine who is an avid action figure collector. He’s not like a lot of those fanboys because he wrote back to ask, “What action figures?”
April 15, 2011 at 10:53 am
This isn’t beauty; not nearly fat enough or middle-aged enough.
April 19, 2011 at 3:01 pm
I’m sorry, what exactly were they selling again?
April 19, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Strong McHandsome: Disagree. It hasn’t been ‘proven’, but again, neither has evolution. In fact, there’s strong evidence supporting evolutionary psychology, due to the fact that you can hypothesize, and then check/reproduce the results.
E.g, all societies have incest taboos. Because it is universal to ALL cultures, there must be a reason. And there is; children born of close relatives are more likely to inherit lethal mutations, ergo, we evolved an emotional aversion to it. (Those who happily boinked their fathers and sisters left fewer offspring.)
Has it been proven? In all ways that matter, I’d say yes. In fact, it integrates the theory of evolution…which relies exactly on such logic.
Same goes for reproducible experiments showing that women prefer men with very different MHC’s than they have. You can’t say it’s coincidence, because it’s statistically significant. No woman can possibly know her own MHC genotype, so she can’t ‘cheat’.
April 19, 2011 at 7:08 pm
As an aside, haven’t been able to get online for DAYS, and don’t want to slog through all these posts right now. *L* So if I am missing any rebuttals I have to make, please be patient, may be a while.