Coyote Ugly
This spring, why not wear a dessicated coyote carcass around your neck? It’s so easy to do. Just pull the withered rear leg through the gaping, eyeless sockets of death, making sure not to cover the dangling teeth. Now you’re ready to knock over your neighbor’s trash cans and steal their poodle!
April 13, 2011 at 4:32 pm
He’s trying to chew his leg off to get out of this listing.
April 14, 2011 at 1:30 am
holy crap you just made me laugh so much i nearly choked
April 13, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Perfect for those days when you just don’t feel like you’re getting enough mange in your look.
April 13, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Wile E. could no longer afford gas for his ACME Rocket Launcher due to the poor economy, and Road Runner finally got the upper hand.
April 13, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Wait, was this roadkill before it was a “taxidermy pelt”?
April 13, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Now that is disgusting. :&
April 13, 2011 at 4:44 pm
MISSING:
My dog is missing. He answers to Bob, and likes to fetch.
I am offering a $295.00 reward!
April 13, 2011 at 5:06 pm
ive decided if any etsyian comes near my dog and says “he has such a pretty pelt”.. i will stab them with their deer horn fastener.
April 14, 2011 at 4:43 am
Your post made me bust out into tears. Angry PETA tears of justice and doom and destruction….
April 13, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Her makeup is not Road Warrior enough to carry off this look.
Also, the whole thing makes me sad.
April 13, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Its eyes are buttonholes. There isn’t enough NO, GOD, NO in the world. BRB, hugging my dog.
April 13, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Btw Helen, you shoulda called this post, Coyote Fugly
April 13, 2011 at 4:45 pm
OMG I KNOW THIS GIRL!!!! I was going to submitt her sooner or later, I was just afraid she would find out it was me.
April 13, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Your secret is safe.
April 13, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Not anymore it ain’t.
April 13, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Oh I didn’t submit it, but I am sure as hell laughin’!
April 13, 2011 at 5:59 pm
I’d be skeered, too. I bet she fights dirty.
April 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I imagine there are whole civilisations under her fingernails.
April 14, 2011 at 1:50 am
Lock your doors at night, she might decide that your hide would make a fine leather cape!!
April 13, 2011 at 4:46 pm
To be fair, the seller had to scrape this off of a canyon floor. HELP sign sold separately.
April 13, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Does the HELP sign include the whistle sound effect?
April 13, 2011 at 7:41 pm
Buy these items together and she’ll throw in the ACME anvil she found them under.
April 13, 2011 at 4:47 pm
…. “eat at your neck” he’s wishing he still had teeth to just end this..
and now i remember the old mink scarf things people used to wear… no resemblance … none
also i don’t want ANYTHING that looks like a shriveled dogs face.. mkay. ever. I especially don’t want anything around that has the remote possibility of traumatizing my dog. i swear people who make this shit don’t and never have had pets, and if they had pets, they quickly became ugly skull facinators.
April 13, 2011 at 5:33 pm
i totally have an awesome mink scarf. i wore it to school one day for “formal dress day,” with my flapper costume, and the girl behind me in homeroom left the room and cried. good times.
April 13, 2011 at 5:50 pm
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April 13, 2011 at 6:12 pm
because i’m cute and people like me
April 13, 2011 at 7:30 pm
erin, I would give you a thousand thumbs up if I could. You are cute and we like you!
To pffst, I say, “pffst!”
April 13, 2011 at 7:57 pm
YOUR NAME MAKES MY FACE DO A SMILE ALL OVER FANCYSKANTS
April 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm
A friend of the family (I call her “aunt,” but we’re not really related) had the most beautiful mink coats she inherited from her mother. My aunt is also very active in rescuing cats and dogs from abusive homes. She believed the best thing to do with the coats was to “give them a proper burial.”
My uncle said, “HELL NO!” They then gave one coat to my mom and sold the others.
April 13, 2011 at 9:51 pm
There’s an awesome lady on etsy who takes unwanted fur coats and turns them into pet beds and stuffed toys for pets. I just got some of her stuff. Used fur doesn’t strike me as unethical because buying it doesn’t take any critters’ lives. No point wasting it in a dump- won’t bring the fox/bobcat/mink/etc back to life.
I can’t recall where I saw this, but one can also get Gramma’s old mink made into a teddybear or throw cushion so you can still caress it & be reminded of hugging her in her coat on fancy occasions.
If I were a dead mink, I’d rather my pelt was reused for decades over it being discarded as tacky.
April 13, 2011 at 10:25 pm
My mom inherited a ratty old coat she was told was fox. We all called it Lassie.
In re: next commenter, the latest thing I saw was about buying fur to make beds for orphaned wildlife, which also seems like a good idea. Better than PETA’s throw-blood-on-it-and-make-a-scene plan.
April 14, 2011 at 7:48 am
My mom once bought a ratty used fur to make into teddy bears. She mentioned she was going to do this while we were out for coffee with the family and a militant vegan (are there any other kind?) friend of my brother. He asked her “would you make a teddy bear out of baby skin?” I’m pretty sure the word specist was later used in the conversation.
April 14, 2011 at 11:24 am
I’d make a teddy bear out of baby skin. Ugly little fuckers is SOFT.
April 13, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Y’know for years I’ve been looking for the perfect fashion accessory to wear to a PETA rally..
April 13, 2011 at 4:58 pm
Bwahahahahahahahahaha.Hahahahahahahahaha.Gawd, I hate PETa. I might just have to buy it!
But I’ll have to spend another $50 on flea treatments.
April 13, 2011 at 5:11 pm
first thing i thought of was lice when i saw this, fleas and lice,
April 13, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Speaking of PETA, they were out protesting the fact that there was an Asian elephant giving rides at the local Renaissance fair. There were several of them with signs saying free the elephant, etc. My personal favorite was the one that said, “Send Judy back to Africa.” Way to help the argument, dude…
April 14, 2011 at 9:18 am
Ooh, good idea! But I’d be afraid of getting grease from my bucket of KFC all over it!
April 13, 2011 at 4:49 pm
This seller featured one of my items in a treasury apparently inspired by the piece above. The moment I saw it, a neon sign flashed in my head and I instantly saw the words: “HOLY-SHIT-THIS-HAS-TO-GO-ON-REGRETSY!”
In short, you’ve just made my day.
Thank you.
April 13, 2011 at 5:07 pm
whoa-hoho-a, wait.. THIS, coming from someone who fraudulently sells poached/farmed animal parts on etsy as “natural” and not fur-farmed? HAHAHAHA ohhh irony. White trash irony.
April 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm
This is gonna be good.
April 13, 2011 at 5:31 pm
pass the popcorn please. I’m hungry.
April 13, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Right witcha BB
April 13, 2011 at 5:47 pm
yesssssssssss. I’m just gonna leave this stuff here, actually. I’ll have summa that.
April 13, 2011 at 6:00 pm
April 13, 2011 at 6:30 pm
April 13, 2011 at 10:40 pm
April 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Wait.. what? Fill me in, I want a quick history lesson here. What happened?
April 13, 2011 at 7:11 pm
I actually ended up talking to the guy who sold me these teeth in question. He directed me to the wildlife management authority in AU, who confirmed that they’d worked with him regarding CITES permits for the LEGAL import and export of animal parts before. In addition, the teeth that I got are NOT from any leopard; they were checked and cleared by customs both in Australia and in the USA as lion.
Thanks for being concerned about the issue, though. I appreciate that people are willing to ask questions about this sort of thing.
April 13, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Naturepunk:
http://www.etsy.com/people/NaturePunk?ref=ls_profile
“All natural materials I use are either sourced from roadkill, Fish and Game, or are antique. In this way, I’m ensuring that no animals were needlessly killed for the sake of the artwork I produce.”
and then…
http://twitpic.com/4kjgqa/full
http://twitpic.com/4kjh18/full
:B cool story, bro.
April 14, 2011 at 5:58 pm
i’m glad i’m not the only person who knows what a disgusting fraud naturepunk is. there’s evidence on taxidermy.net that she solicits purchases from furriers, hunters, whoever will supply her. if you’re into those kinds of things, there’s no shame in that, but to pretend and posture like you care about animals and only use roadkill, natural deaths, or vintage, “ensuring that no animals were needlessly killed for the sake of the artwork,” to quote her facebook; “I do NOT support trophy hunters or modern fur farms by buying ‘byproducts’ like bones, skulls, or claws directly from them…” all the while selling farmed/hunted fur tails for furries to clip onto their belts. disgusting.
April 13, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I saw a girl wearing something very similar to this at brunch in West Hollywood. Her little coyote friend had his eyes, but was just as pathetic and decrepit as his sad carcass hung over her holier-than-thou shoulders. The rest of the ensemble involved little running shorts, a long drapey coat sort of thing, a tee shirt, giant don’t-you-know-who-I-am sunglasses, striped knee-high athletic socks—one pushed down and one pulled up, naturally—and two annoyingly askew pigtails. To eat pancakes. At a glorified diner.
Just in case you were wondering about the target market for this kind of item. Now you know.
Oh Los Angeles.
April 13, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Los Angeles has always made me sad.
April 13, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Did you leave the “, morons.” off the end of that second-last sentence?
April 13, 2011 at 4:52 pm
My mother always told me if I wasn’t careful, I’d put my eye out. But with my own foot? Now that’s just talent.
April 13, 2011 at 4:54 pm
These pictures make this look horribly awkward to wear. It’s like she was wounded in the wild and had to make a neck brace out of the first thing she saw.
April 13, 2011 at 4:58 pm
I can only hope that the new owner of such neckeating neckwarmer will be greeted by a pack of feral dogs.
April 13, 2011 at 5:00 pm
At least it’s hand-sewn.
April 13, 2011 at 6:38 pm
A major plus, as it is no doubt incredibly common to just shove the wad of decaying fur onto your sewing machine in order to neatly stitch up the eyeholes. Easy, too.
April 13, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I don’t think the resellers would touch it.
April 13, 2011 at 5:01 pm
It’s times like this when I’m glad my uber-vegan friend doesn’t visit this site. Her tits would be anything but calm by now (understandably).
April 14, 2011 at 12:37 am
I’m a vegan, & this doesn’t upset me as much as I kinda think it should. Maybe after going through the Here in Small Town USA’s shop, with all the severed animal parts, baby chicks & rat penises in jars, etc. has raised my tolerance for this sort of fuckery. The part of this listing that really creeps me out though, is the eyehole buttonholes. Ick. That said, I would totally buy the shirt she’s wearing in that listing.
April 13, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Roadkill… it’s not just for lunch anymore!
That thing looks like someone was rummaging in my late grandmother’s discarded pile of shit from many decades ago!
April 13, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I’ve got a moth-eaten real fox fur stole that I inherited after my mother died. The damn thing’s falling to pieces (it’s probably 70 years old, at least), but it STILL looks better than this.
If I only knew how to sew, I could figure out a way to repurpose it and sell it on Etsy.
April 13, 2011 at 7:16 pm
If the leather is dry and cracking apart as opposed to tearing, it’s probably beyond repair.
April 13, 2011 at 7:54 pm
someone would buy it anyhow!
April 13, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Duct tape on the leather side. Or medical tape, if you have some. Sounds crazy, I know, but I’ve restored a lot of coats that way and they hold up really well.
April 13, 2011 at 5:02 pm
I wouldn’t want to fall while wearing this…. impaling myself on antlers and coyote teeth is not my idea of a good way to start the day.
April 13, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Anyone who wears this should be PUSHED down and, hopefully, the antlers and coyote teeth will get the rest of the job done.
April 13, 2011 at 5:03 pm
This is not whimsicle, but it certainly is fuckery.
April 13, 2011 at 5:03 pm
I guess this means I need start chucking road kill in my trunk to make neckeaters. I’m sure the possum tail will work nicely as a closure, but the skunk will match everything.
April 13, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Me being very anti-fur has nothing to do with my suddenly wanting to run away screaming.
this would be better with a steampunk octopus and googly eyes on barn wood.
April 13, 2011 at 5:12 pm
i am not anti fur and this makes me uncomfortable..
mainly its the shriveled black nose and the deer horn protruding from his eye sockets… and as if it needs to be MORE grisly. the RED silk lining.
April 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Same here.
That’s not a coyote pelt, it’s an alien creature that feeds on the screams of terrified children.
April 13, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Now THAT I would buy
April 13, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Perhaps she wanted to include blood, but had to settle for silk instead. Are we sure the silk wasn’t hand dyed by her?
April 13, 2011 at 5:54 pm
The silk might not be hand dyed, but the coyote might have died at her hand.
April 13, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Heck, I HUNT (yes, as in Elmer Fudd, but I’m better at it) and this thing makes me uncomfortable!
Who in the hell finds this attractive?
April 13, 2011 at 10:53 pm
Vampire bats…people who have a goiter that they want to hide…possibly Lady Gaga, but she seems more interested in the part of the animal not pictured.
April 13, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I suppose it isn’t a good thing if you can’t actually tell what it IS?
April 13, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I passed a roadkill coyote on I-80 yesterday. Had I known (and been equipped with gloves, garbage bags, and remote taxidermy skills), I would have skipped class and made me some money. That’s almost a whole credit hour at ESU.
April 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Good to see a fellow ESU alum on Regresty.
And it’s never to early to start earning money to pay back those student loans…
BTW, when you say ‘roadkill’ are you saying it was struck by a car or did the road actually kill it when it fell in one of PennDOT’s infamous potholes and break it’s neck?
April 13, 2011 at 5:37 pm
I’d like to think it was a chain of events- coyote trips in pothole, gets hit or car swerves to avoid pothole hits coyote…either way those potholes are moving into crater classification.
April 13, 2011 at 5:38 pm
i don’t think PA actually has roads, just never ending trails of construction work.
April 13, 2011 at 6:32 pm
If you can find the Construction Fairy that does roadwork overnight for no cost, please let me know. We would be happy to utilize her services.
April 13, 2011 at 5:52 pm
I didn’t know one could do taxidermy remotely. I thought it was a “hands-on” sort of thing.
April 13, 2011 at 6:13 pm
That’s actually a top secret NASA program, ya know, just in case…
April 13, 2011 at 5:07 pm
>>Now you’re ready to knock over your neighbor’s trash cans and steal their poodle!<<
I think this is the best caption EVER!
April 13, 2011 at 5:08 pm
*cries*
April 13, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Being a taxidermist I can easily say this is not worth the price set… especially seeing it is a small specimen and in poor condition.
And I do not think people enjoy wrapping their necks with a creature that will “eat at your neck to get to your heart”
April 13, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Not unless it’s Stephen Moyer.
Maybe not even then.
April 13, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Ironically, I saw dead coyote along the side of the road on my way home form work today. Looks like I missed out on a money making opportunity here, dammit!!
April 13, 2011 at 5:13 pm
“He will eat your throat to get at your neck.”
Now I have that Meatloaf song in my head: “On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”
Red thumbs all day if you must, I adore that album.
April 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Doh!
^ “He will eat at your neck to get to your heart.”
Still…Meatloaf, man….
April 13, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Well, two out of three ain’t bad.
April 13, 2011 at 5:14 pm
The Roadrunner had never cried before.
Until he decided to visit etsy.
April 13, 2011 at 5:16 pm
To use the eyes as button holes is just so… so fucking gross. I can’t get past that.
April 13, 2011 at 5:47 pm
I’ve seen a lot of terrible stuff at craft malls, and horrible things on the internet. But this so far is the only thing that has made my stomach uneasy, is using the eye sockets as a closure.
April 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm
This was my favorite episode of Star Trek when I was a kid. Tribbles!
[IMG]http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e206/scully33/tribbles1.jpg[/IMG]
April 13, 2011 at 5:18 pm
April 13, 2011 at 5:22 pm
marry me.
April 13, 2011 at 5:25 pm
At ThinkGeek you can have your own. I bought one for my friend for Christmas and her family fought over it.
April 13, 2011 at 5:19 pm
If your gonna murder a defenseless Looney Toons character and wear it around your neck you could at least spell Wyle E correctly. Oh and deer antlers as “buttons” and eye holes as “button holes” are revolting at any price!
April 14, 2011 at 7:02 am
You’re (ahem) right that it’s misspelled, but it’s actually spelled Wile E. Coyote. (Pun on the use of “wile.”) Spelled correctly or not, it’s bizarre and freakish.
April 13, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Is that a coyote around your neck, or are you just sociopathic?
April 13, 2011 at 5:21 pm
everytime a taxidermied animal is outer wear, bjork gets her wings.
April 13, 2011 at 5:23 pm
When I was a child, my mother wore stone martens ’round her neck. I was horrified. Years of therapy had erased the trauma from my memory. After this, I’ll be back on the couch tomorrow.
April 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Less traumatic than wearing Doc Maartin’s around the neck
April 13, 2011 at 10:50 pm
Yeah, she’d have kicked herself for that repeatedly.
I’ll be here all week.
April 13, 2011 at 5:23 pm
and at a closer look.. she’s saying she included two authentic teeth. another clue this ladys never had a pet … those aren’t teeth.. they’re plastic taxidermy dog toenails.
April 13, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Oh, dear, I was going to snark on this but realized I have made and sold almost an identical thing (out of an old fox stole). But mine was only $40, because I’m only minimally insane.
April 13, 2011 at 5:26 pm
*you’re
*Looney Tunes
*Wile E. Coyote
I totally agree about the button holes as eyes being revolting!
April 13, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Prediction: Road kill the hottest new etsy trend of 2011.
Soon we’ll see squirrels as fingerless gloves.
Then will come the butt plugs.
April 13, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Back in my mountain days, as I like to call them, I knew a lady, who woke her 7 and 10 year old daughters up in the middle of the night, to take them with her as she scoured the highway for “runned over snakes.” Why? She wanted to make a belt, of course!
Guess that’s better than leaving them at home alone to fend for themselves. No telling what kind of nightmares they woke up with growing up in that home!
April 13, 2011 at 5:45 pm
And thus etsy was born.
April 13, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Why would she leave runned over snakes at home to fend for themselves? And can the dead have nightmares?
(And, yes, before you redthumb me, I KNOW that’s not what churchlady meant. I dearly wish someone would invent that sarcasm font already.)
April 13, 2011 at 6:36 pm
they did. it’s called comic sans
April 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm
I thought comic sans was for derp?
April 13, 2011 at 9:18 pm
“Then will come the butt plugs.”
You made me clench dammit!
April 13, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Stone marten pix – http://images.cloud.worthpoint.com/wpimages/images/images1/1/0509/26/1_ee32551ad136ea8bfb6af8c00320acdb.jpg
April 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm
“Access to website denied.”
April 13, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Anyway, when I first saw this, I assumed that it was eating its leg, in the grand tradition of Dead Things Worn By Ladies Whose Wigs Don’t Fit.
But no.
This is somehow worse, actually.
April 13, 2011 at 10:06 pm
Even worse, I thought that was the TAIL, with most of the fur inexplicably worn off!
April 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm
been waiting FOREVER for the right moment to use this:
I mean, it’s not even shaped right! It’s horrible as a fashion item too!
April 13, 2011 at 6:23 pm
Most excellent usage.
April 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Girls, it’s not too late to order this for Prom!
April 13, 2011 at 5:40 pm
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April 13, 2011 at 5:41 pm
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April 13, 2011 at 5:45 pm
that coyote in the first link has a dejected look.
April 13, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Well duh! Wouldn’t you feel dejected if you were being worn as a hat?
April 13, 2011 at 8:37 pm
Yeah but wouldn’t you be fucking dejected if suddenly you were murdered to keep some euro trash warm when they went skiing…
I am not anti fur — I am anti butt ugly hats.. which is what nearly everything on that site is..
for example — http://www.furhatworld.com/mink-trimmed-felt-hat-with-fur-flower-p-672.html
sweet baby Jesus!
April 14, 2011 at 6:38 am
euro trash? I’d say all-american trash, in this case.
April 13, 2011 at 11:55 pm
I wonder if that second guy realizes that the hat he’s wearing looks like a ladies’ hat. I’m told Russian men tend to wear more aviator/bomber-style hats (fur on the inside, finished leather on the outside). You don’t go for that kind of fluff unless you’re feeling ~feminine.~
April 14, 2011 at 12:11 pm
I suspect that all people who have a concept of what a hat is for would want the fur on the inside.
April 14, 2011 at 12:43 pm
The ones I’ve seen in the fur-on-the-outside style also have it on the inside…though not always. It depends on how expensive you want to go, and whether it’s more of a fashion thing or more of a warmth thing.
Anyway, my brother wanted me to bring back a fur hat for him from Russia when I visited, and I was strongly advised by the native I traveled with to get him an aviator-style cap, as the fluffy ones were for women.
April 13, 2011 at 5:48 pm
This looks so much like the decaying fox stole I found in my Grandma’s basement it is scary….then again it is scary for so many other reasons too.
April 13, 2011 at 5:53 pm
April 13, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Maybe it’s made out of Ewok pelt.
yub nub!
April 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Don’t tell Yoda!!
April 13, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Do any of you go to the Pennsic war? I haven’t gone in probably 2 decades at this point, but there is a group of people, who in a “historical” medieval reenactment camping event call themselves the Tuchucks after the most putrid r-rated fantasy series Ever Written (Gor), who would not only spend this amount of money on that thing and think it’s a bargain, but would probably fight over it.
April 13, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Oh.My.God. I can’t believe anyone else has heard of those wily Tuchuks. And Gor. I knew someone who was a ‘real’ Gorean. bwahhahahaa. You know, like those people who are ‘real’ wizards from D&D?
April 13, 2011 at 6:44 pm
They would not only fight over it, but the winner would figure out how to wear it as a loincloth with nothing else… You’ve seen the “Two Flaps On A String” look, yes?
April 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm
There’s apparently some sort of app that ties into an online Gor RPG that lets your master track you from a distance.
someone that was playing in this thing was describing it to me. it was hell-of-a-weird.
April 13, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Sounds like something in Second Life. Gor (for whatever reason) is wildly popular there.
April 13, 2011 at 8:54 pm
It may have been. My customers are a tad bit… odd some days.
April 13, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Just out of curiosity, do they really do that Gorean-speak, or is it just an online thing? You know, “this girl respectfully requests that her Master (may his name be ever glorified) allow her unworthy self to go scrape roadkill off the highway to make Him a collar for His hamster cloak.”
April 13, 2011 at 7:11 pm
This is an excellent reason for me to never attend Pennsic. Normal SCAdians are creepy enough; Goreans are just more than I can humanly stand.
April 13, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Never been to Pennsic, but having been in the SCA, I have heard scary stories about them.
April 14, 2011 at 1:06 am
There are Gorians at Pennsic? ;_; What is there left to believe in… I hadn’t heard of them being there…
April 14, 2011 at 4:44 am
remember, my last Pennsic was at least 20 years ago. (and that factoid scares the shit out of me)
April 13, 2011 at 5:58 pm
it’s missing something. A coyote-skull fascinator.
April 13, 2011 at 10:46 pm
I think the ensemble also needs earrings.
April 13, 2011 at 11:00 pm
What? this was on Regretsy last month! You don’t recognize them with their new hardware?
I just want to know what these people have against eyes that they feel the need to use the eye-sockets as a pathway for hardware or closure. *shudders*
April 14, 2011 at 12:55 am
If she *must* sell these things, I think the least she could do is take one of those anthropomorphic taxidermy classes & make something that at least some sane people would find cute. This class is taught by a woman who was quoted in News of the Weird this weeks as saying: “I don’t like rogue taxidermy.”
April 13, 2011 at 6:04 pm
It’s all fun and games, ’til a coyote loses an eye.
April 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm
NOW I remember where I have seen the model before! She is aging well.
GIFSoup
April 13, 2011 at 8:14 pm
That is neither Chrissie Hynde nor Joan Jett.
April 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Fuck fuck fuck. What is it about etsy that attracts both cupcakes dripped in creamy hipster sweetness and people who make documented serial killers look sane?
Blood red silk.
Horn stabbed through the lifeless eye socket.
Shriveled coyote nose around your neck.
A skinned animal with its face wrinkled up in what looks like agony.
Holy fuck. Stop the planet, I want to get off.
PETA are morons who can go fuck themselves with the body parts of the animals they KILL. The same applies to this seller and whoever might be demented enough to buy her “art.”
April 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm
I could not agree more, plus I am grieving the recent loss of a beloved dog, so that makes it doubly offensive. This thing makes me want to puke.
April 13, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I am very sorry for your loss
That hurts in the worst way. *hugs*
April 13, 2011 at 6:18 pm
For those looking for the whole “Game Of Thrones” look, which, with all those live action role playing set-you know, the 30 year old or older ones who chances are still reside in their mother’s basement, worship Norse Gods on the side, whose highlight of the year is being king of the house of whatever SCA event they’re attending and whose sole income is a Cinnabun at the mall-I could just see one of them seeing this on Etsy and thinking “YES! This will complete my Ned Stark costume for Renfest!”
April 13, 2011 at 6:48 pm
this one just looks like a crappy scrap of fur. Big difference.
April 13, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Jeebus Cripes. That bitch has some nerve – that fuck-ugly thing is STILL UP.
April 13, 2011 at 6:29 pm
This should only be worn during classy nights out on the town.
April 13, 2011 at 6:33 pm
In reference to who Ned Stark is and why a Live Action Roe Player would covet such an item:
April 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm
yeah, but I’m a LARPer and yes I do wear real fur for costuming, but if you notice how carefully and deliberately this one is put together compared to this horror…..
April 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm
OMG! Yes, I know that is the second time today I’ve said it, but it’s SEAN BEAN!!!! If anyone could make a poorly-preserved roadkill coyote hot, it would be him.
April 13, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Whoa whoa whoa – I love me a thick slice of Sean Bean just like the next girl, but I don’t think even he can make this pelt of horrors work -_-
April 13, 2011 at 8:59 pm
If it was ALL he was wearing…
April 13, 2011 at 7:14 pm
But isn’t that a badger?
It makes the peeling coyote look even sadder.
April 13, 2011 at 7:28 pm
That’s a raccoon-dog.
April 13, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I read the comments just to see how fans name themselves…..
One hopes on swimmies, moustaches and cupcakes that your roadkill is at least washed with handmade, handthrown, handpacked, handcut bars of all natural soap made with laundry room leftovers otherwise you can call the whole damn thing “handmade” on Etsy. They love roadkill. It’s called muted and banned sellers and there are tons of them.
April 13, 2011 at 6:35 pm
I am really just about speechless. I can’t think of a single thing to say. It’s just….disgusting. And so, to get our minds off that insanity, I offer you THIS:
http://laughingsquid.com/wonderfully-creepy-sculptures-carved-from-bananas/
April 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm
That’s inspired
April 13, 2011 at 7:00 pm
The last one kind of looks like a steampunk octopus.
April 13, 2011 at 9:34 pm
That’s Davy Jones from those pirate movies that were so popular recently. We’re always being mistaken for each other.
April 13, 2011 at 6:58 pm
OMG you guys, this will go awesome with my dead cat pelt jockstrap.
April 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm
So I’m assuming in wearing this you don’t obtain Super Genius qualities?
April 13, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Wasn’t “he will eat at your neck to get at your heart” one of the rejected taglines for Twilight?
April 13, 2011 at 7:15 pm
YES!! Living in a rural area with a variety of roadkill is finally gonna pay off for me.
April 13, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Although, if your internet connection is anything like mine, you won’t be able to connect long enough to upload the pics. Country living, my ass. Country dying is more like it. Or is it country stasis?
April 13, 2011 at 7:19 pm
This is so awful I can hear the fabric of the space time ripping as I type.
April 13, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Edward already ate my neck to get to my heart. This mangy Jacob doesn’t stand a chance.
April 13, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Did somebody already predict taxidermy underwear as the next Etsy trend? If not, I got dibs. I predict rat thongs tagged “urban taxidermy” on the front page in the near future.
April 13, 2011 at 8:18 pm
Can we name it “Redd Foxx Thongs”?
April 14, 2011 at 6:28 am
I don’t know about taxidermy underwear, but they DO have these kind of underwear:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/28898296/brief-jerky?ref=sr_gallery_1&ga_search_query=beef+jerky+underwear&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
Beef. Jerky. Underwear.
April 14, 2011 at 6:29 am
ANd…. they BEDAZZLED them!
April 14, 2011 at 9:25 am
Ahhhh, the Mixed Species guys.
I have a feeling they would adore being featured on here, they have a pretty bold sense of humor.
April 13, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Okay, fur is one thing, you can love it or hate it…but WTF EYE SOCKETS AS BUTTON HOLES?!?!?!
That’s just…nasty. It makes me want to cry TT-TT
April 13, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Ah, to hell with cremating my beloved cat when she dies — I’ll turn her into a neckwarmer, because nothing says ‘respect’ like that!
April 13, 2011 at 7:55 pm
It’s touching her face.
*full body shiver plus whimpering*
April 13, 2011 at 8:02 pm
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April 13, 2011 at 10:35 pm
April 13, 2011 at 8:46 pm
At least she’s not doing duckface…
Then again, I wish she was because it would make this infinitely more amusing.
April 13, 2011 at 9:13 pm
*sheds a glittery tear*
April 13, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Boy that model sure does look comfortable wearing her coyote neck brace.
April 13, 2011 at 9:48 pm
What ever happened to the good ol’ fashioned clip-in-the-mouth thing on furs?
April 13, 2011 at 10:03 pm
Or googly eyes….
April 13, 2011 at 10:35 pm
I know, right?
April 14, 2011 at 4:11 pm
His ‘stach needs eyes too. And possibly a driver’s license.
April 13, 2011 at 10:06 pm
yeah but you’ve got to remember, you’re gonna be all splattered in red paint…
April 13, 2011 at 10:25 pm
“He will eat at your neck to get to your heart”
good sell.
April 13, 2011 at 10:33 pm
I find it very creepy that her listing for a fox fur ring describes it as “up for adoption”…
April 14, 2011 at 1:50 am
“The eye holes are the button holes” ? But… why ???
April 14, 2011 at 2:00 am
where does the deer antler come in? was the coyote raped by it?
April 14, 2011 at 9:26 am
It’s currently being eye-raped by the damn thing.
April 14, 2011 at 2:08 am
I was JUST having a conversation in the general vicinity of (read: not WITH) one dumb young broad about how we were going to go on a coyote hunt to pick off the non-human-fearing, house pet-eating coyotes that have sprouted up on my mom’s farm. She thought it was necessary to interject and tell me how I was a meanie face dum-dum head and I was cruel to animals because when the coyotes eat the animals and attack children, it’s because they’re HUNGRY AND THEY’RE JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE OMG ;-;
I think I’ll show this to her.
April 14, 2011 at 11:19 am
Ah, yes. Think of the rats.
April 14, 2011 at 4:51 am
Button hole eyes? what does that remind me of? Ah yes those creepy/cute ghost children from Coraline!!!
Gross dude, Gross!
April 14, 2011 at 5:06 am
It’s having its revenge….squeezing her neck so hard it’s making her lips purple.
April 14, 2011 at 6:31 am
It looks like a giant furry snake is trying to strangle her.
April 14, 2011 at 12:01 pm
April, that model looks oddly similar to you……….
just saying.April 14, 2011 at 1:07 pm
So, I live in Arizona. And between rampant gunmen and our legislature, we’ve pretty much got the market cornered on wild-eyed drooling mad-people. But I can say with utter confidence that no one here is nearly crazy enough to come up with this horror. And on that note, I am off to count my dogs and make sure that they are all here. And then I will hug them. Repeatedly. And tell them that when the day comes far off in the future we hope, I will burn their lifeless little bodies to keep them safe from the Etsy-ens — and make them promise me that they will do the same. Then I will hug them again.
April 14, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I like you.
April 14, 2011 at 3:39 pm
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April 14, 2011 at 4:37 pm
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April 15, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Is it me, or does the girl wearing this look sexually aroused by the Dead Thing around her neck?