Nothing Says Lovin’ Like Something From the Oven
Oh for fuck’s sake. The only way this smells like a book store is if someone took a dump in the poetry section.
160 comments on Nothing Says Lovin’ Like Something From the Oven
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April 11, 2011 at 4:31 pm
It looks like it was attacked by a spider.
April 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Shelob is going to be PISSED when she realizes that the book is already dead. She likes her meat fresh, you know.
April 11, 2011 at 7:01 pm
“Charlotte’s Web” would have been a much more appropriate choice of book.
April 11, 2011 at 7:54 pm
“Humble” this ain’t. Neither is it “Terrific”. “Radiant” more aptly applies to the chicken with the light up it’s ass. “Some Pig … SLOP” I’ll agree with.
April 12, 2011 at 7:41 am
my thoughts exactly – just watched LOTR and it reminds me of Frodo…
April 11, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Where’s the loop so I can hang it from my rearview mirror?
April 11, 2011 at 4:32 pm
I took a class on bookbinding and that’s not how my professor told us to repair books…
April 11, 2011 at 5:12 pm
This is how my 5 yr old would repair a book. And $175??? Two words – DUMB ASS.
April 11, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Sylvia Plath’s Journals
IS IT THAT!? Because I can get a new copy that doesn’t smell like the bottom of your Volkswagen after a ten-day road trip with your dirty friends.
April 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm
but the found art quality adds value
April 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm
*stands back, looks over glasses*
Ahhh, I see it now… I do… I see it.
No, I don’t.
Also, I don’t wear glasses.
April 12, 2011 at 5:01 pm
hey the new copy hasn’t been nibbled by rats and bound up in some crappy string. those little teeth imprints make it so precious.. like GOLD … heh
April 11, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Sometimes, you have to let a dead book be trashed. Save the ones that aren’t already shredded for toilet paper.
April 11, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Oh for dogs sake, this looks like the sort of thing someone would bring into my used bookstore and try to sell me. “but it’s a good book!” yes it was… before you did THIS too it.
Sadly, this would not be the worst thing someone tried to sell me. That prize goes to the waterlogged, visibly FURRY with green mold book. You could smell it from several feet away and it released visible clouds of spores when you touched it. and they were dead serious that I should buy it, because the story was so moving!
April 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Vintage brings extra.
April 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm
The extra, in this case, being a fungal infection in your lungs…
April 11, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Gotta suffer for art, you know!
April 11, 2011 at 5:58 pm
Oh, I’m sure it was moving. Give it another couple of days, it might start speaking too.
April 11, 2011 at 7:24 pm
April 12, 2011 at 8:38 am
Alas, when we use ‘drippy’ in regards to this seller, they’re not nearly as intelligent or fun…
April 11, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Evidently she doesn’t expect anyone to y’know.. READ IT
April 11, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Well if you don’t like the bookstore angle, just change the size of the smell and it can be a library.
April 11, 2011 at 4:37 pm
you’re killing me here! LOL LOL LOL
April 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm
i’ve read it 3 times and i’ve laughed as hard as the first time… clearly there’s something wrong with me.
April 11, 2011 at 6:08 pm
April 11, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Not only have I read it multiple times, I’m laughing HARDER each time I do! I think this site has affected me in ways no amount of medication will ever fix. (Not that I would want to)
April 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm
So I was in the shower this morning and thought up a song for the Vest With Smell, like you do, but regretted that the time was past for sharing it on that post.
I’ll now take advantage of this comment to share it. To the tune of the “Spiderman” theme song:
April 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Does whatever a smelly vest does…
April 11, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Mmm, gas-fresh.
Some people use books to make art.
April 11, 2011 at 4:34 pm
I’ll bet it’s another reseller. This looks like it’s fresh out of a silkworm sweatshop.
April 11, 2011 at 4:35 pm
I can’t throw her words away, but I can make sure no one else reads them.
April 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm
I can’t throw her words away, but I can try to profit from them.
April 11, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Oh, yes, and because you’re so deep and sensitive you just HAD to charge $175 for a cheap, beat-up old paper back and a bunch of yarn.
*seethes*
April 11, 2011 at 4:36 pm
If you’re willing to pay $175 for this, I’ve a copy of “Everybody Poops” that my two yr old destroyed and tied up with his sister’s jump rope.
April 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm
But does it come with poop? Because then you can charge way more for it!
April 11, 2011 at 4:50 pm
No, b/c just like this one, the actual item is all the crap you need.
April 11, 2011 at 6:44 pm
And that would REALLY change the size of the smell! Cha-ching!
April 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm
OMG! Brilliant! Do you also have The Gas We Pass?
April 11, 2011 at 11:15 pm
Wasn’t “Everybody Poops” written by a Japanese author? A copy in Japanese was in our old pediatrician’s office. So you could also use the Japanese disaster relief angle to market it.
April 11, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Oooh… so next time my dog shreds up random shit, I can wrap it with the loose string from my woven blanket and sell it for $175. Now I can finally pay off my medical debt.
April 11, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Only if he shreds up something vintage…or steampunk…
April 11, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Not just ANY string. Soft vintage yarn.
April 11, 2011 at 6:15 pm
hand spun yarn made of your dog’s hair would probably make it worth at least $500!
April 11, 2011 at 4:37 pm
This looks like someone unraveled a sock and wrapped it around a book from a prison library.
April 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm
That Andy Dufresne was just a busy bee.
April 11, 2011 at 6:38 pm
It was the longest night of his life. Oh Andy!!
April 11, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Thank God they didn’t make it into an Oven Mitt!
April 11, 2011 at 9:00 pm
LOL Irishyankee, bad pun but a great one too!!!!!
April 11, 2011 at 4:38 pm
This looks like something you’d find in your old, shut-in crazy cat lady auntie’s house when you’re clearing all the other things she couldn’t bear to throw away.
April 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm
hahahahahahahaha! I have a copy of Lady Chatterly’s Lover held together with duct tape. That has to be worth more than Plath in yarn. $300, maybe?
April 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Is it still readable? If so that takes about $200 off the price.
April 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm
She’s already taken it down! That’s gotta be a record.
April 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm
I snorted in glee when I saw that she (ok, yeah, I’m assuming there) couldn’t BARE to throw it away.
April 11, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Yeah, I was about to say that I could definitely not BARE to pay the ungodly amount of $175 for it, either.
April 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Why do these art hags always throw a fit and take town the listing? Don’t they realize that even amongst the VAST Regretsy crew, there are potential customers?
What happened to those people who proudly displayed their “Featured on Regretsy” badges?!?!?
Some people just take their shitty art way too seriously.
April 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm
take town -> take down
April 11, 2011 at 5:38 pm
I couldn’t agree more! I would be super appreciative if any of my items were featured here and I got hundreds of views.
April 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I hate people so much.
April 11, 2011 at 4:40 pm
This makes me want to kill myself.
What? Too soon?
April 11, 2011 at 5:29 pm
You must be baked to think this is acceptable.
April 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Alchemy request… A large cricket bat with the word ‘homonym’ on it. I would prefer to have it sealed, as I would like easy cleaning ability. I feel the need to start beating etsy artists with it.
April 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm
Great in a child’s room!
April 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm
good thing she didn’t tag it “steampunk”
April 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm
No – she would have had to wrap it in brass wire to be able to do that.
April 11, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Since when do “artists” bother adhering to the fundamentals of a genre?
She’d call it “Steampunk” then turn around and claim it was the “softer side of Steampunk”.
April 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I had a Sylvia Plath paperback in my sweater pocket when I threw it in the washing machine.
Same result.
April 11, 2011 at 7:43 pm
That might explain this–price includes used washing machine?
April 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm
She could have run the pages through her printer and had hundreds of tragic flower Plath prints for sale.
April 11, 2011 at 4:43 pm
This looks like some kind of sick literary bondage to me…
April 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Of Literary Bondage?
April 11, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Perhaps!
April 11, 2011 at 4:47 pm
If you liked it then you shoulda put a string on it…
April 11, 2011 at 7:16 pm
wha-oh-oh–uh-oh-oh
April 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm
I’m looking for a hidden camera in my living room right now, for one of those candid camera shows, to get my expression to that piece of literal trash.
April 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm
The yarn looks like sperm. Just sayin’.
April 11, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Lots of little spermies — somebody really likes recycling.
April 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm
$175 is an awful lot for kindling.
April 11, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh, whoa oh oh….
April 11, 2011 at 5:24 pm
With that kind of money you could buy some REAL poetry.
Dr. Seuss!
April 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Translation: My dog chewed the crap out of this book while I was at work and I needed to do something with the four hundred skeins of hand-dyed yarn I bought when I thought I wanted to learn to knit. Now that the cable bill with all the pay-per-view porn my musician boyfriend ordered has come due, Im hoping someone will give me a couple hundred bucks for this.
April 11, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Nothing says “feminism” like ripping apart a woman’s words, then binding them tightly to render them powerless and mute.
April 11, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Ooh, nicely done!
April 11, 2011 at 5:55 pm
Are you describing the piece of “art” or the BSDM community? Because one I’d be willing to spend $175 on, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the book wrapped in string.
April 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I swear to god the exact same thing happened to one of my books when I left it near my guinea pig and went to get a snack. Who knew the little bastard was creating art?
April 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Book binding: You’re doing it wrong!!!
April 11, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I once made something like that. When I was a freshman in high school, the world history textbook the book-room loaned to me was so old and beat up the spine was long gone and the interior pages came to me in multiple chunks held together by the last vestiges of glue and cosmic willpower. Being an enterprising little 14-year-old, I took it upon myself to “repair” my textbook, which basically consisted of partially mummifying the thing with twine, duct tape, and craft glue.
At least my creation could still be read.
April 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm
What a dumb twat.
Give me the thumbs down for lack of wit, but I’m running a fever, and, people are so.fucking.pretentious and retarded. Sue me for the R word too.
April 11, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Running?
April 11, 2011 at 5:20 pm
I thumbed you up Janice. Of course, I happen to be running a fever as well.
This posting made me even more nauseous than I already am. It could be that I’m just not getting the whole romance of a falling apart book of poetry bound by some cheap acrylic yarn someone found in grandma’s garage, or it could be that this posting is just so much pretentious twaddle.
April 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Dammit I was about to buy it for my rope library and now it’s gone
April 11, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Of course, because I definitely don’t want to buy a fully secured new copy from amazon for $15.64. A ripped up $175 that is covered in string is a MUCH better decision.
April 11, 2011 at 5:05 pm
I can pay three bucks for yarn at Wal-Mart. And it won’t smell like sweaty weeaboos at the bookstore.
April 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I did not know that spiders could be hipsters.
April 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm
“Repaired” Yes, I definitely looked at this mummified book and thought that’s been repaired, and will last a lifetime.
April 11, 2011 at 8:49 pm
It’s almost as good as new!
April 11, 2011 at 5:09 pm
DUUUHHHH. It’s FINE ART. Can’t you READ (but prefer not to or else why would you buy a book wrapped shut w/ yarn?)
April 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Oh that Sylvie, she sure could spin a yarn, couldn’t she?
April 11, 2011 at 5:12 pm
+1000
internetsinternet to you, madame.April 11, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Tragic + Romantic = Tragmantic? Romagic?
How do we Brangelina this thing up?
April 11, 2011 at 5:14 pm
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April 11, 2011 at 6:25 pm
I know it’s wrapped up and all, but even a visor-less Geordi LaForge could see it says WOMAN.
April 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm
I love you for brining Geordi into this.
April 11, 2011 at 8:09 pm
BRINGING.
…Writing rainbow fail…
April 11, 2011 at 5:14 pm
FFS – $175 for a roll of kite string?
April 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I prefer my kite string NOT to have small chainsaw-tooth-like knots on it.
April 11, 2011 at 5:15 pm
DERP. never mind.
April 11, 2011 at 5:23 pm
I will probably be thumbsed down for this, but this is so fucking creepy to me.
I owned this exact copy of this book and was going through a very hard time in my life and this book was so depressing to me I tore it to pieces and dumped it with other things I was cleaning out of my storage unit.
It’s creepy to see a book I shredded put back together with yarn like this.
April 11, 2011 at 5:45 pm
But see? Someone was able to turn all your frowns upside down! And try to score 175 bucks for doing it too!
April 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Is it wrong that I want to believe some creepy “artist” actually used the book I tore up? xD
I wonder what the hell happened to all of the ugly sweaters and tupperware I pitched?
April 12, 2011 at 9:35 am
I don’t know, but if I were you, I’d be really careful searching on Etsy for upcycled sweaters and whimsically decorated multi-purpose containers…just in case.
April 11, 2011 at 8:50 pm
I have never read any Sylvia Plath. After reading your review, I know now I don’t have to!
April 12, 2011 at 6:03 am
Sylvia Plathwill do that to you. The only way it would be readable is if it were rewritten by Dr. Seuss.
April 12, 2011 at 9:37 am
I now have a freak urge to read Sylvia Plath specifically so I can rewrite it in the style of Dr. Seuss.
April 11, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Many books have a notice somewhere on the front pages that if the book is sold in any binding other than the original cover, it ain’t legal.
Well, the original cover is there, but it’s not exactly the cover anymore.
April 11, 2011 at 6:28 pm
That refers to the book’s return code. Lots of books, when being returned (if they aren’t selling, or going out of print, etc.), only require the cover to be sent back. Then we (your friendly neighbourhood book-seller) scrap the rest. Basically that’s telling you that if you buy the book without a cover, someone probably dragged it out of a dumpster or recycling bin.
Though we don’t just strip the cover at my store, we also tear the books in half. It’s only truly satisfying if it’s a Harlequin romance.
April 11, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Or if it’s a textbook w/o a cover it’s probably a marked free copy the publishing house sent to a professor and it’s not supposed to be sold. My Mom used to get 8-12 books every semester and she only taught one class! I soon realized why I had seen so many textbooks on ebay with damaged or missing front covers.
April 13, 2011 at 12:57 am
Well, the seller doesn’t say how it got shredded.
I just noticed “1 in stock”. Do you think the seller would make more to order?
April 11, 2011 at 5:57 pm
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April 11, 2011 at 8:32 pm
The short version:
Talented poet, suffered from severe depression. Married, had two kids, committed suicide at age 30 by puting her head in an oven (hence the title of this post).
Her son killed himself in 2009. Her husband and his sister manage her estate and control all literary output, so there’s all sorts of fun with rabid fans who blame the husband for her death.
April 11, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Although Ted’s mistress ALSO killed herself in the same way, but also took her and Ted’s baby with her, so he *might* not be to blame, but that is two girls in a row…
/end literary history lesson
April 11, 2011 at 6:13 pm
If the seller was trying to get Sylvia Plath to rise from the grave why didn’t she just decoupage the shredded pieces to her ass? I still wouldn’t pay $175 but it might achieve the desired affect.
April 11, 2011 at 6:16 pm
“posthumous poetry tied up with strings…”
Not one of my favorite things.
April 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm
It would have been more eco friendly if she had used tampon strings. Just sayin’.
April 11, 2011 at 6:18 pm
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April 11, 2011 at 6:26 pm
I made the mistake of reading ‘The Bell Jar’ when I was younger. It made me want to kill myself. Lord only knows what reading her collected journals would result in.
April 11, 2011 at 10:18 pm
Same here. *snugs*
April 11, 2011 at 6:30 pm
I think I recognize the damage to the top and left sides of the book. Somebody’s dog chewed up a library book, and this is how the dog owner is trying to make back the money she had to pay in damaged book fines!
April 11, 2011 at 6:35 pm
as a bibliophile this is nowhere near repaired on top of that they should save it for Halloween and call it a mummy book and charge double!
April 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm
OHMIGODIJUSTUNDERSTOODTHETITLEOFTHEPOST!! Giiiirl, that is so wrong it’s just right.
April 11, 2011 at 7:50 pm
OHHH! *Light bulb* I just got it too.
Yeah. If there’s a hell I’m going to it for laughing at that.
Or maybe I should say “bound” for it.
April 11, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Well I feel really dumb because I still don’t get it.
April 12, 2011 at 7:09 am
Refer to the above post where someone mentioned that Ms. Plath killed herself by sticking her head in the oven. Connecct that to “….something in the oven”.
To be honest I didn’t get it until I read that post.
April 12, 2011 at 9:41 pm
Ohhhh, thanks. Wow, that is wickedly funny!
April 11, 2011 at 6:37 pm
What the fuck? I’m on Regretsy for the express purpose of NOT working on my paper about The Bell Jar that’s due tomorrow, and this is what I get?
April 11, 2011 at 6:39 pm
I feel like this guy had something to do with this.
April 11, 2011 at 8:33 pm
I thought he was from The Grapes of Wrath…
April 11, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Trying to figure what’s most annoying about this..
The fact that she wasted perfectly good yarn to wrap this trash? ( Could have made gloveless fingers or a sleeve for a sad hipster or something with that crap)
The price?
The way she pretends to be so intellectual but fails to make the distinction between “bare” and “bear”?
Maybe all of the above
April 11, 2011 at 10:03 pm
All of the above plus her own hypocrisy. She can’t possibly throw it out, but if there’s a buck to be made she’ll get that eyesore out of her damn house in a hurry.
April 11, 2011 at 6:52 pm
People, people, that item is not wrapped…FFS, it’s warped!
April 11, 2011 at 6:55 pm
I get pissed at my son just for folding the corner of a page in a book, so this is making my heart bleed. Although, I’m pretty sure that’s what Sylvia Plath was going for originally, so well done, “Artist”. Well done.
April 11, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Bound To Please: The Collected Essays of Sylvia Plath. Features essays on String Theory, Literary Bondage, and Gaseous Masochism.
April 11, 2011 at 7:23 pm
This is the comment of the day, at least in my book.
April 11, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Sylvia Plath would have kicked that “artist’s” ass from here to Heptonstall if she saw what how he fucked up her book.
April 11, 2011 at 7:57 pm
what how? WTF is that? Try this:
what.April 11, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Bound trash with nice looking yarn OR another cowl binding a mournful hipster, dunno, hard to decide…
April 11, 2011 at 7:18 pm
She would have been better off taking the pages and making some kind of papier-mâché object out of them. Then, at least, people could still read some of the words.
April 11, 2011 at 7:42 pm
That “vintage yarn” looks exactly like this giant cone of cotton yarn I have sitting on my desk. Would anyone like to buy an art piece dishcloth? Only $999.00! Such a deal!
April 11, 2011 at 7:47 pm
OK, if this can fetch $175, then I should be able to get at least 20 bucks for my cat’s post-modern print media deconstructionist art. Every morning when hubby and I sit down to breakfast, he (the cat) hops up onto the table and starts to shred the newspaper with his teeth. Hubby thinks he’s trying to clip coupons without thumbs. I think he’s so pissed about LePage that he lashes out the only way he can.
April 11, 2011 at 8:03 pm
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April 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Finally. A Sylvia Plath tampon for Womyn.
April 11, 2011 at 8:44 pm
“Found” art doesn’t mean what was in the hopper of the paper shredder and/or the dumpster.
April 11, 2011 at 9:36 pm
It’s a good thing Sylvia Plath killed herself already, because if she saw this…
April 11, 2011 at 10:00 pm
So…she couldn’t “bare” to throw them out, but she’ll happily get them the hell out of her house by selling the shit for $175 (?!) Guess everyone has their price. Think if I buy it for $175 and tell her “now just throw it out” she could “bare” it?
April 11, 2011 at 10:36 pm
I thought that it was sweet…and then I remembered that Plath didn’t hang herself, so the symbolism was gone and it was just a bunch of shredded paper in crappy yarn.
I just shredded up a bunch of old bills and stuffed them in a shitty sock. It’s a tribute to the American consumer in a time of recession. I can’t bare to part with it, but I need the cash.
April 12, 2011 at 4:17 am
if this is the repaired version, i shudder to think what the un-repaired version looks like…
also, if they couldnt bear to throw it out and had to save it, why sell it? so someone else can throw it out for them?
April 12, 2011 at 6:15 am
The listing has been removed. I wonder if she has decided to wipe her ass with it instead.
April 12, 2011 at 6:16 am
Whoever would pay $175.00 for this is crazier than Sylvia Plath ever was.
April 12, 2011 at 6:44 am
The words are dying
April 12, 2011 at 8:54 am
translation of her description:
shredded- chewed by my dog
gathered and bound- taken from my floor and the damn dog’s mouth
vintage yarn- crap i found in my smelly, musty basement
romantic- God, I’m so alone
tragic- and now i have to go buy another copy…
April 12, 2011 at 9:29 pm
The “vintage yarn” looks like cheep acrylic yarn to me. She must think its worth $160 dollars though. No one in their right mind would charge $175 for a destroyed book right?! Oh wait, she is not in her right mind.