Maybe a decent resemblance, but I’d be pretty insulted if I was Nia Vardalos. The lower half of this chick’s face screams MAN at the same time her boobs scream FLAPS
I like how it’s warm enough for a leopard fur coat and leather gloves but she still thinks it’s a good plan to go pasties-only underneath. That just screams class.
While I’m sure she doesn’t ship the ones on her tits, I don’t think I could ever erase that possibility from my brain. Seriously, you don’t need to model this shit, I get what it’s for.
I am clearly a terrible person, because the second thought I had looking at this picture (first thought already posted above) was that this is what the sweetheart female lead from Hairppray would look like if she lost a bunch of weight and aged a few years.
Do you mean Ricki Lake, or has there been some lame remake of the movie I don’t know about, starring John Travolta but not starring Devine, Mink Stole, Debbie Harry, Sonny Bono, Ric Ocasek, Pia Zadora, and Jerry Stiller?
for serious. Now, I have some pasties in my shop, but when I was contemplating photographing them for a listing, NOT ONCE did I think ‘oh hell, I’ll model ‘em.’
Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang looooow?
Really, guys? Less mean about the woman’s body and more mean about the craft itself. :/ ONOES OH NO HER BOOBS =/= the kind of snark I come to Regretsy for. That’ll teach me to read comments.
You make an excellent point. My body is no better than hers, but if it looks THAT bad on her, I can only imagine how bad it would look on me. Not exactly a win for marketing.
Seriously I ain’t tryin’ to model anything half naked on the intertubes internet. I know my strengths and weaknesses,and I would not list my my body in the “strengths” column.
There’s nothing wrong with her body, but her posture is pretty awful, and it’s not helping her model her creations nicely. I don’t know who thought the “fold in on yourself like you want to be in the fetal position but have to remain standing” look was appealing.
I don’t have a particularly terrific figure, and you’d never catch me modeling my own pasties, not because women who are a bit zaftig should be ashamed of their bodies, but because it’s just not good marketing.
I would like to formally apologize for my comment, made in the heat of the moment. You make a very good point, and have made me feel ashamed in a good way :3
I agree — all these comments bum me out as well. My boobs are big, but they are in no way shaped like anyone famous whose boobs you may have seen. This is the first person I’ve felt kind of bad for on here. : (
It’s a marketing principle. If I were selling pasties on etsy (God help me) I wouldn’t put them on my boobs, either, because awesome as I think they are, the reduction scars and lopsidedness aren’t going to showcase the product to their best advantage. I’d borrow my friend with the fabulous magazine ready implants. Or like I said above, stick them on the nonexistent nips of a dressmaker’s dummy, because people don’t fantasize about having uneven scarred up boobies. They like to look at nice, nearly imaginary tatas and imagine theirs will look like that.
When you’re putting them out there for the world to see you are inviting criticism. It’s not so much about the body as it is the taste level here.
I think the “meanness” is stemming from the fact that there’s zero reason for her to be modeling these. You don’t need to see the pasties on actual boobies. And if, as a seller, she insists on having a model… Try to find one that is going to make the product look appealing.
Miss Brahms: “How did she know I wasn’t one-a ‘er kind?”
Mrs. Slocombe: “Well, for one thing, the ‘quality’ don’t wear their bosoms up ’round their ear-holes.”
Miss Brahms: “Oh, then you must be top of the Honors List!”
Do your boobs hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Are your nipples puckered like assholes?
That you need to cover them with tassles?
Do your boobs hang low?
Erm, apparently you don’t know the mechanics of a reduction?? They don’t just suck out the filler – they cut away excess skin too. Reductions gone wrong are almost always NOT hanging low and swinging….
I’ve only known two people who have had them, but in both cases they ended up saggy beyond their years. It was mostly the apparent size discrepancy that made me think that.
This is exactly why I won’t get my nipples pierced. I’m afraid that the resulting sparks from “the girls” dragging the ground will cause a carpet fire (and not in the good, “fire crotch” way..if there is such a thing), and the hunky firemen who respond will fall down laughing, therefore causing even more damage to my already low self esteem.
Do you boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder like your dead dog Rover, do you boobs hang low?
I am sorry but this lady is pretty bad-ass to be posing like this. I have pretty good tits but I am not that brave. Who the hell is in the market for nipple pasties anyways?
FTW! That actually made me laugh loudly enough that my son in the next room wanted to know what was funny, and I had to quickly minimize the window (he’s 9).
So my daughter just got 2 learning lessons – why some women MUST/SHOULD wear a bra and what pasties are. Perhaps this lady could get a leopard print bra and just put tassels on it. If I want to look as saggy tits, I have my own thankyouverymuch! ;p
Again, I am reminded of the future benefits of having small boobs. They might not be much, but in the decades to come, those babies will still be where they are today!
Ah, sorry, I hate to burst your bubble, but tiny tits sag, too. It’s a pitiful sight, just like the big ‘uns. The nipples sorta stay in the same place, but anything that ever was in the top drops down to the bottom. That pulls wrinkles around the nipple. The top really flattens out to absolutely nothing, like a man’s chest. Don’t consider yourself lucky. You’ve lived your whole life with no tits and then you get to go through old age with tiny sags.
Also not half naked modeling pasties on the internet…
Nor was suggesting I was super cute… just blessed with the intellect to hire a model rather than self model creations on a less than winning form.
But if it makes you feel better, Bueno
How do you color on a person like that? Oil pastels? Face paint stick? I think it’s kinda neat. Too bad the extreme camel toe overrides the cool technique used in coloring the model.
Funny, the pasties were the last thing I noticed in this scene.
I kind of like this one. In fact, after looking over her shop, the products are fine…just…why did she change models?
A model should show a product in the best light possible. Them model should not make potential customers contemplate plastic surgery.
Are we mocking her body or her taste? I would prefer to stick to mocking her taste. There is so much potential there, you can’t possibly run out of material.
Honestly, I think if she lost the coat and sat up straight, it wouldn’t be so bad. The posture and the ridiculous non-matching coat are too, too much for me.
I don’t have to. I was ruing the sight of my breasts just the other day when I contemplated buying lingerie. Instead I just threw on a sports bra, t-shirt, sweatshirt and then hid under the covers.
Posture helps. It’s almost like shes trying to touch her toes with the tassles the way she is hunched into that pose. Next photoshoot try posing with your arms over yoir head, chest out… oh fuckit, nevermind.
I’m gonna buy them, and find some high cut sequined booty shorts, and wait at the front door for my boyfriend to come home, and perform this shit with my ukulele. This needs to happen.
I appreciate that there are different sizes and shapes of boobies in her shop and the pasties seem well-made. I don’t need pasties, but if I did, I might buy hers. Then again, I also dig some of the vagina jewelry…
Bold as Brash Brendamouse
April 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I don’t whip my tits out for any occasion! I’m in my 40s and found some old scrounged up dignity on the sidewalk. (Mine don’t sag that much! This is from memory, but I distinctly remember looking in the mirror and sighing in defeat this morning.)
I wish to fucking hell I had my camera ready when I walked out of the Madison, Wisconsin Veteran’s Hospital. As I was walking out, a dark-haired chick was walking in and she was wearing a leopard coat exactly like this and carrying a leopard-print purse. She was fully clothed, though. (and when I first saw her, I wished I had my camera because she was a mish-mash of patterns; stripes and tie-dye with this leopard-print).
Then I get home, come over to Regretsy and I see her slightly younger exhibitionist sister.
I instantly saw Mrs. Whiggins from the Carol Burnett Show. All she needs is a blonde wig and sunglasses. Then again, Carol never sank this low and she never flopped like this.
All in all, the pasties would work better in cougar print.
The effect of gravity on boobs aside, and my ignorance of pasties showing… I think these nipple accessories were meant for a larger bust. Maybe Dolly Parton size?
And to think, just last night I was lamenting the number of pasties that Etsy thinks I want because I followed some Regretsy links a while back.. I guess now I’ll be seeing even more.
Dammit, it’s true. It’s exactly why women wear bras. It’s also why most women don’t feature themselves topless on the internet (facebook profiles excepted, of course).
I can tell I’ve spent too much time online today when my mind immediately went to “I want sprinkles” from cakewrecks. The cake/pasty image that sprang to mind cannot be erased with even the strongest of brain bleaches.
This seller is talks all her friends into flashing, puts booze in the wrong glasses, has a bizarre relationship with color and name drops Mucha.
I bet she makes terrifying cocktails from party leftovers (Root beer and St. Germain, anyone?) and that it would take one, maybe two max for us to become besties.
I’ve written instruction cards for people selling pasties…to teach women how to make the tassles twirl. This lady hasn’t got a chance (at least of just the tassel twirling!)
Yeah, ok, so less than perfectly perky boobs might be a somewhat distracting choice to display these…Maybe they WOULD look better on a dress form..fine.
But I think this is ballsy and actually pretty charming.
I’m glad I checked Regresty today, and clicked through to this store. I now know the proper attire for knitting hats and looking wistful.
Though the description of this one creeped me out more than the rest of her store combined:
“the satin is thick, soft, and perfectly smoothed over a durable, lightweight base. fully lined, these will last years. instead of jewelry for an heirloom, why not a pair of these?”
I know I happily spent many hours as a small child examining my Grandmother’s pasties. Oh, wait, no I didn’t. I had a normal childhood.
Okay, I have to say — she’s quite a lovely girl, and the leopard-and-cheetah-collision model is a right fair bit of crumpet, except for slightly oddly shaped breasts. But this redhead was styled for her shape, not despite it.
Excuse me while I become what I’ve always hated, but: Chins up and shoulders back, girls! Accentuate your good points and the boys will be attracted to your “confident” “personality”!
Agreed–she is cute and it’s a nice picture. Does anyone else think her right boob (her right, not our right) looks photoshopped a bit? Or is that a tan line? Just curious.
I’m probably just jealous because she has the perfect delicate Roman nose I’ve always wanted.
“instead of jewelry for an heirloom, why not a pair of these?”
That exact line jumped out at me, too, on that listing. Granted I’m a lot less creeped out at the idea of my grandma having pasties than my own mother… but why on earth would I want to hand down pasties as an heirloom? Or receive them? “Look here, kid, these are the pasties I wore the night your father was conceived” *shudder*
Holy guacamole, all those comments and no one pointed out that there is no reason to wear a JACKET when modeling the damn things? It is like trying to peer through theater curtains. If she just lost the jacket, threw her shoulders back and pointed her hooters proudly at the world there would probably be a lot fewer snarky comments on what are fairly normal if unremarkable boobs.
Yeah. This one just made me go “meh“. Those aren’t the worst boobies I’ve seen. Not the best of course. Just.. meh. Everyone’s focusing on her boobs when it’s the rest of the god awful mess/get up that needs to be taken out back and burned. Regretsy needs a time out and a jelly shot, or fifty.
Believe it or not, it’s the color rendering in the photograph that I find most distressing. The best she could do was a table lamp sitting on the floor with the shade taken off, and no color correction on the camera or in editing?
The question is whether the cruelly stripped coats in question are those of leopard and cheetah kits or of scrawny girls in body glitter who have confused “hawt couture” with “cheap-looking.”
First thought? Looks like the photog has a hot date with Mother Russia. Post-Communism, of course – with the capitalist desire for things like nipplehats, but no idea of how to match fabrics. Surely a silver fox would’ve worked better here…
Guys, please. We’re not allowed to judge anyone’s looks ever, for any reason. Looks can never be used for any kind of evaluation purposes; unless it’s to decide someone looks brave or looks like they’d be fun to hang out with.
I post this with genuine fear, because not only do I know that you are HK’s fiance, but a really fucking smart and funny man, and could easily shred me, I am sure…
But…I’m not sure anyone is really saying that. It’s not that looks can’t be evaluated or judged..everyone does that all damn day long.
Maybe it’s just that some people have a certain limit as to what is funny in that regard, and maybe that limit was hit for some. If they should just shut up about reaching that limit, then fine, but I would counter that there is a whole world between saying NOTHING about anyone’s looks, EVER…and being really personal-attacky cruel, the way some of the comments have been.
I don’t think HK’s post was cruel at all, by the way…I speak only of other commentors.
So..now..I hit the “Post” button with my heart in my throat, and run the fuck away like the pussy I am.
I don’t aim to shut anyone up. Some of these comments definitely went further than I would like, but I try to avoid deleting comments whenever possible.
The simple fact of the situation for me is that the model shown doesn’t have a great body for this kind of thing. Objectively speaking, she doesn’t have the ideal breasts to show off a listing for pasties. I think we all know that. I’m not going to go overboard with insulting her body, but I’m also not going to give her a Nobel Prize and talk about what a brave soul she is for flashing her tits on the internet. Not everybody looks great naked, no matter how much we might wish otherwise.
There’s a reason Ernest Borgnine doesn’t do ads for boxer briefs.
Anyway, don’t be afraid of me. I’m a pussycat.
I’m a bit peeved by the notion that someone who shows her tits (lousy or otherwise) to millions is somehow ‘brave.’ Regardless of the quality of her exhibit, she’s still an exhibitionist. If women paid more attention to developing their minds and less to their tits, we wouldn’t give a shit about how this woman looked
Yeah, but. The point isn’t Who Should Wear Pasties — but Who Might LIke to Buy Pasties. As long as there’s no approval committee for Pastie-couture to whom we must apply before purchase, hen the model can be her, you, me or Ruth Gordon.
Is there some cut-off point for who is allowed wear the silly things (even if they do look like dog-butt stickers)? She’s fine. I think people forget that models in magazines are hand-selected for their resemblance to 12-inch fashion dolls.
Seeing someone out there who doesn’t resemble the ideal — seems fine, to me. This goes for the next ten ordinary-people-in-revealing-Etsy-clothing you see –!
I think VGO did a better job explaining my post than me. I don’t think she is a ‘brave soul’ I guess I just don’t agree that not everyone looks good naked or that ‘she doesn’t have a great body for this kind of thing.’ because saying things like that just feeds into this idea that certain bodies are good or bad or acceptable and unacceptable.
Some of the comments seemed mean to me and I probably shouldn’t have said anything or if I did, I should have not sounded so defensive.
That being said, I still prefer natural boobies to fake saline bags. I breastfed 3 children at 2 years a pop. I threw my tits a nice tasteful funeral back in 2006.
I really don’t care what she looks like either way, believe me the mirror shows me much saggier boobs every morning. But was it really necessary to have a live model at all? Not only do I think it’s just a chance for her to be an exhibitionist, but does she honestly think anyone wants to order pre worn pasties??
I am grateful to be married to a man who prefers natural boobs to plastic any day. Every woman has her own beauty, and lingerie models that look like real women are OK in my book (and his too). You go, Pastiegirl!
My awesome boyfriend has been known to say “If I can touch ‘em, they’re real” with regards to implants. Fortunately for me and my big natural boobs, he is equally enthusiastic about any breasts he can touch and doesn’t seem to give much of a shit if they sag or not. Hooray for cool men who love all boobs!! Maybe I’ll get some sweet leopardskin pasties to entertain the BF and figure out how to twirl them to some kind of frantic plate-spinning music.
I guess I don’t understand why women who are confidant and comfortable showing their breasts but don’t adhere to our fucked up cultures standards of fake tits, isn’t allowed to model for etsy? that’s what’s being implied isn’t it? She’s probably a sellers friend who feels good about herself and thought pasties would be funny to wear. I guess I didn’t understand why this post was here in the first place. Somehow I missed the whole ‘lets tear other women down’ tag….
Since when does self-expression equal exibitionism? Self-expression is perfectly fine but taking into consideration that this is a site that sells to the general public *snark*, items that are generally in bad taste anyways can’t expect for people with common sense and/or a sense of decency not to state what is on thier minds.
Or you could just put on yer big girl panties and fuck off. I hear there’s a local production of the Vagina Diaries in your town if you’re feeling feisty.
While her photos are wildly theatrical, I kind of like the pasties themselves. I probably wouldn’t get anything from this seller, mostly because I’m all the way at the other end of the spectrum–nothing to sag…
*sigh* Well done, Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Breasts. Good show. Nice effort.
I have a double chin. Comes with being a big Sicilian girl. I don’t have a problem with this, but you know what? If I modeled my jewelry on myself while staring at a point between my big toes to emphasize its full and fulsome curve, I’d expect Regretsy to make fun of me.
When a product (jewelry, pasties, makeup, whatever) is meant to make you pretty by society’s standards, you should look pretty by society’s standards in the photo of the item.
She’s pretty. Her breasts aren’t socially standard. Betcha she knows this. Nobody looks good slouching. Betcha she doesn’t.
Pasties are not a Joyous Expression of Our Yonic and Mammarytittary Womyn Freedom. They’re a fun way to try for social-norm sexy tits. Hers, while they are, let’s be honest in our appraisal here, probably a happy little handful indeed in person, not social-norm/good for product.
Well that was an excellent point, perfectly expressed.
And yeah, I agree.
I still say that while I do think they would have looked better (as I wrote up-thread, though not even a fraction as wittily as you), on a dress form or more “Dita-esque” boobs, I still think it’s cute.
Yeah, so I am weird, but it ain’t about WomynFreedomPeaceLove for me….I just think it’s kitchy and oddly charming.
Just…please don’t make me see the Vagina Monologues. Please.
I refuse to see them because they can’t distinguish between “vulva” and “vagina.” I could say something about perpetuating ignorance about women’s own sex parts in a forum that’s supposed to be about celebration, but — nah. It just bothers me.
Thank you. That has always bugged me. Even this “beadazzle your vajajay” thing irritates…because I am always thinking..”What…glitter in your internal mucus membrane?”…
Hell..its not even sparklies on your vulva..its the fucking MONS.
Wait, what? I could have been vajazzling this whole time? I thought it was their actual vaginas they were glittering up, and that just sounded painful and unnecessary.
*runs to find her sparkles and a glue gun*
For once, I’m feeling pretty good about myself. 40 something, D’s…not where I think they shoud be. Now that I see where they COULD be, I’m feeling better about myself.
No, pasties would NOT be my accessory of choice. Maybe a scarf.
I recently heard a new term on Jersylicious: Orangutan boobs. Now I know what they are.
OMG, if my tits ever turn into teats, please TELL ME!
Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
April 7, 2011 at 4:42 am
the fact is that she obviously feels confident enough in herself to take this photo, and although most of us wouldn’t do it , you have got to admire her for that.
Sure her breasts are long and flat , but i know lots of guys dont give a toss about that( so to speak) , and i think that most of the comments here are just from bitchy judgemental women.
We should be more supportive of one another (pardon the pun)
Thanks to sudden exposure to the Star of David pasties, my mental cinema is now playing ‘Fiddler on the Roof – the Burlesque’.
In the interests of fairness, I think this store needs to produce a complete range of religious pasties. And also some Darwin fish pasties with sequin-covered movable legs.
I almost stayed out of this one, but:
My boobs went from AAs to Ds when I went into recovery for anorexia. So I’m not about to go bashing ANYONE’s body type. I have a hard enough time looking in the mirror every day, having gone from 72 lbs at the lowest to about 130 now.
I just don’t understand why these *the pasties, mind you*, couldn’t have been displayed nicely on something else, other than a human. When I was at my thinnest, I modeled, sometimes nude. And I would have never, ever, modeled pasties– TO SELL– on a site like etsy, ebay, etc.
You know, for big ‘uns her boobs are probably pretty nice. Large boobies have some hang to them, unless they’re not real. She just needs to stand up straight and square her shoulders to do them full justice. I’ve seen way weirder-looking breasts. On Regretsy.
Good for her for feeling good enough about her body to model her product herself. Bad for her for making a pretty lame product.
Also, there are SIZING GUIDELINES for pasties? This opens up whole new uncomfortable vistas in my mind.
Of course there are sizing guidelines! Nipple type is just as variable as booby type. Think of this woman’s coaster-sized pasties on a small-boobded woman. At that point they would be like glue-on bikini.
She’s very pretty. I agree that her breasts look saggy, and probably that’s due in part to her posture, the pose, etc. Whatever the reason, the pasties look BAD on her! And if they look bad on the model, that isn’t a good selling strategy.
I am 41 and gifted in the chest area. Things head south over time and I have come to accept this. I have also hung out with a lot of naked people and have seen a lot of non-augmented breasts. I don’t see anything wrong with her.
April 6, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Those must be some pretty heavy tassels, or a deceivingly young face.
Or someone in need of a bra.
April 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I was just thinking that she has the kind of boobs that bras were invented for.
April 6, 2011 at 1:54 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:20 pm
So do I.
April 6, 2011 at 4:38 pm
I will say she can get a mammogram and pedicure at the same time.
February 24, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Exactly
April 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:18 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:22 pm
These are sad boobs….
April 6, 2011 at 6:14 pm
sad boobies are sad…
April 6, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I’ve had saggy boobs since I was 14, I just don’t ever take pictures of myself without a bra!
April 6, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Those residuals must not be rolling in as fast as they used to.
April 6, 2011 at 1:36 pm
I like how it’s warm enough for a leopard fur coat and leather gloves but she still thinks it’s a good plan to go pasties-only underneath. That just screams class.
April 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Grammy always said less is more…
April 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm
That’s much better!
April 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm
See, now that’s actually almost flattering. Tightening up the bow a bit, and you’ve got something workable there!
At least, I’d buy it. But I’m also a ridiculous teenage girl, so there you go.
April 6, 2011 at 4:29 pm
*claps* why that now is a perfect improvement.. Well done sir. now she’s a lady with class and a drink!
April 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Why thank you… was unaware I grew a penis but ROCK ON! The more toys the better!
April 6, 2011 at 4:34 pm
Also… again… I want everything in your store
April 7, 2011 at 9:19 am
This makes me want to put on 5 bras….
April 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm
My god, is that WINE in a MARTINI glass? It must be what is paining my eyes….
April 7, 2011 at 9:41 am
hey hey hey hey— i drink my wine from a regular old tumbler. or the bottle. don’t hate on inproper drinking etiquette.
April 7, 2011 at 9:41 am
oh fuck me IMPROPER
April 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Those arent pasties, those are leopard print dinner plates.
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Matching hats available.
I thought those WERE hats
April 6, 2011 at 1:38 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:39 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm
lol fatwank. inevitable
While I’m sure she doesn’t ship the ones on her tits, I don’t think I could ever erase that possibility from my brain. Seriously, you don’t need to model this shit, I get what it’s for.
April 6, 2011 at 1:38 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:39 pm
What are those, leopard printed deflation devices????
April 6, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Last time I saw leopard skin and a pair of hangers together like that was on a National Geographic special.
April 6, 2011 at 4:32 pm
This is my comment of the day. Oh gosh.
April 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm
i’m wondering how much photoshop was used on those
April 6, 2011 at 1:41 pm
I’m gonna go with “not enough”.
April 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I am clearly a terrible person, because the second thought I had looking at this picture (first thought already posted above) was that this is what the sweetheart female lead from Hairppray would look like if she lost a bunch of weight and aged a few years.
April 6, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Gack!
*Hairspray.
Sadface.
April 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm
It looks more like Ricki Lake than Marissa Winokur or Nikki Blonsky.
April 6, 2011 at 4:18 pm
I think it really looks like the interim Ricki Lake of Serial Mom, halfway between Cry-Baby/Hairspray and her TV show.
April 6, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Do you mean Ricki Lake, or has there been some lame remake of the movie I don’t know about, starring John Travolta but not starring Devine, Mink Stole, Debbie Harry, Sonny Bono, Ric Ocasek, Pia Zadora, and Jerry Stiller?
April 6, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Christopher Walken singing a love song to a man in drag makes up for a lot.
April 6, 2011 at 8:47 pm
And now that I think about it, Jerry Stiller was in the new version. He was Mr. Pinky.
April 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I’m of the personality persuasion that says “why the gloves?”
April 6, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Come now, the gloves MAKE the outfit.
April 6, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Is this meant to be sexy?
April 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm
It gives me more of a “Made ya look!” vibe.
April 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm
I think she’s trying for the “Mrs. Robinson” feel, myself
April 6, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Some secrets Victoria should keep…
April 6, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Oh, dear. Sometimes self-modeling your creations is just not the best choice. Surely we could have found a nice dress-form torso for this photo?
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
And if no dress-form lying around there’s surely a milk jug in the fridge, or would it look better on eggs?
April 6, 2011 at 2:00 pm
How about putting them on the Easter egg Jello shots?
April 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Perhaps appropriately warped barnwood?
April 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm
there isn’t sufficiently warped barnwood in the world for these :/
April 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm
for serious. Now, I have some pasties in my shop, but when I was contemplating photographing them for a listing, NOT ONCE did I think ‘oh hell, I’ll model ‘em.’
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
“And with just two quick sticks, you too can have tits that looks like exotic roadkill!”
April 6, 2011 at 1:49 pm
(Minus that s on look. Dammit, I’m not even drunk this time.)
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Oh wow. She is so hot her boobs are melting off…
April 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm
this might be the best comment…
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Ok, my girls are not that great but they’re not THIS low…
April 6, 2011 at 1:55 pm
Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?
Do your boobs hang looooow?
April 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Yep. They sure do.
April 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Unfortunately, mine are. I do, however, know better than to think it’s sexy.
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:49 pm
And a lesson in color theory. Pink and leopard?
April 6, 2011 at 5:50 pm
There’s nothing wrong with her face or her breasts, just her judgment.
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
Gravity got you down? There’s a bra for that…
April 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Perky upright boobs are not the norm. They are either a result of stunning genetics or breast implants.
April 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm
THANK YOU
April 6, 2011 at 9:42 pm
….or yof ears of spending more time with cartoon characters than actual female humans….
April 6, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Why is THIS guy getting thumbs-downed? This IS the reason women wear bras: the fact that gravity’s a thing for most of us.
April 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Really, guys? Less mean about the woman’s body and more mean about the craft itself. :/
ONOESOH NO HER BOOBS =/= the kind of snark I come to Regretsy for. That’ll teach me to read comments.April 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm
It’s the Snood Rule. Never model something that another person with your shape would run screaming from.
April 6, 2011 at 9:40 pm
You make an excellent point. My body is no better than hers, but if it looks THAT bad on her, I can only imagine how bad it would look on me. Not exactly a win for marketing.
Seriously I ain’t tryin’ to model anything half naked on the
intertubesinternet. I know my strengths and weaknesses,and I would not list my my body in the “strengths” column.April 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm
There’s nothing wrong with her body, but her posture is pretty awful, and it’s not helping her model her creations nicely. I don’t know who thought the “fold in on yourself like you want to be in the fetal position but have to remain standing” look was appealing.
I don’t have a particularly terrific figure, and you’d never catch me modeling my own pasties, not because women who are a bit zaftig should be ashamed of their bodies, but because it’s just not good marketing.
April 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I would like to formally apologize for my comment, made in the heat of the moment. You make a very good point, and have made me feel ashamed in a good way :3
DAMN YOU, SOCIETY’S IDEALS OF BEAUTY!
April 6, 2011 at 4:15 pm
I agree — all these comments bum me out as well. My boobs are big, but they are in no way shaped like anyone famous whose boobs you may have seen. This is the first person I’ve felt kind of bad for on here. : (
April 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm
It’s a marketing principle. If I were selling pasties on etsy (God help me) I wouldn’t put them on my boobs, either, because awesome as I think they are, the reduction scars and lopsidedness aren’t going to showcase the product to their best advantage. I’d borrow my friend with the fabulous magazine ready implants. Or like I said above, stick them on the nonexistent nips of a dressmaker’s dummy, because people don’t fantasize about having uneven scarred up boobies. They like to look at nice, nearly imaginary tatas and imagine theirs will look like that.
April 7, 2011 at 10:48 am
I dunno. I think Rule 34 applies.
April 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Thank you, MadameFu. I really admire this seller’s chutzpah, and it’s obvious that she’s more comfortable in her own skin than I am, which I envy.
April 6, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Oh come on.
When you’re putting them out there for the world to see you are inviting criticism. It’s not so much about the body as it is the taste level here.
I think the “meanness” is stemming from the fact that there’s zero reason for her to be modeling these. You don’t need to see the pasties on actual boobies. And if, as a seller, she insists on having a model… Try to find one that is going to make the product look appealing.
April 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm
For a minute I thought that was John Leguizamo.
April 6, 2011 at 1:49 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Oh thanks for that, I needed that image to properly start my nightmares…
April 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I read that as ‘properly stain my nightmares’ and well, that works too.
April 6, 2011 at 2:03 pm
I’m pretty sure John Leguizamo would have looked a LOT better in leopard pasties than this woman does.
April 6, 2011 at 3:04 pm
To: Wong Fu….
April 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm
No, Mrs. Robinson, I definitely don’t want you to seduce me.
April 6, 2011 at 1:55 pm
This is why they used Linda Gray’s leg in the poster for that movie.
April 6, 2011 at 1:49 pm
=( somehow becoming gayer…
April 6, 2011 at 1:50 pm
I like the internet. No one would have that picture on their wall, yet here it is.
April 6, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Who ordered flapjacks?
April 6, 2011 at 1:50 pm
don’t be hating, you know you’re going back for a second look.
April 6, 2011 at 1:50 pm
my only thought was that she put waaay too much olive juice in that martini. my mind rejected the rest.
April 6, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Dirty martinis FTW.
April 6, 2011 at 2:57 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm
The gravity of this situation is dire.
April 7, 2011 at 5:51 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Her tits defeat the purpose of pasties, so the tassels swing, not your tits. ACK!
April 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm
From Are You Being Served?:
Miss Brahms: “How did she know I wasn’t one-a ‘er kind?”
Mrs. Slocombe: “Well, for one thing, the ‘quality’ don’t wear their bosoms up ’round their ear-holes.”
Miss Brahms: “Oh, then you must be top of the Honors List!”
April 6, 2011 at 2:00 pm
Ah, “Are You Being Served”…so many great lines!
April 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:58 pm
damn, your version is better than mine. I went with the classic, but you got creative.
I salute you!
April 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm
but not like a continental soldier, i trust.
April 6, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Sheesh they couldn’t even get matching leopard patterns in the picture?! Well that kills it for me, I for one won’t be buying!
April 6, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Apparently I’m being watched at the coffee shop. I’m minding my own business and snarking and I get a “WTF is THAT!” over my shoulder. Ugh.
April 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm
Taking a second glance…perhaps they could be resold as yarmulkes with a tassle.
April 6, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Only if you know a congregation of Orthodox Jewish mice.
April 7, 2011 at 4:43 am
I don’t know how you get through life not knowing a congregation of Orthodox Jewish mice.
April 7, 2011 at 10:50 am
+1 Art Spiegelman
April 6, 2011 at 8:56 pm
I was thinking more along the lines of a fez for the shriners.
April 6, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Looks like a reduction gone bad. Ah well, at least she’s confident.
April 6, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Erm, apparently you don’t know the mechanics of a reduction?? They don’t just suck out the filler – they cut away excess skin too. Reductions gone wrong are almost always NOT hanging low and swinging….
April 6, 2011 at 6:13 pm
I’ve only known two people who have had them, but in both cases they ended up saggy beyond their years. It was mostly the apparent size discrepancy that made me think that.
April 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm
I just want to know why she’s matching leopard print pasties with a cheetah print coat.
April 6, 2011 at 9:46 pm
Gah! I was wondering the same thing. It ‘s making me feel twitchy.
April 6, 2011 at 1:54 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:54 pm
@crossbow, leopard and pink works. she just needs a whole leopard with a pink bow covering her as it mauls her.
April 6, 2011 at 1:55 pm
This is exactly why I won’t get my nipples pierced. I’m afraid that the resulting sparks from “the girls” dragging the ground will cause a carpet fire (and not in the good, “fire crotch” way..if there is such a thing), and the hunky firemen who respond will fall down laughing, therefore causing even more damage to my already low self esteem.
April 6, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Plastic Rings…. ;D
April 6, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I feel so pert after seeing this.
April 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm
You felt like washing your hair? Oh. Not that kind of Pert. Nevermind.
April 6, 2011 at 3:24 pm
I think it’s more the Herbal Essence in the airplane bathroom kind of thing.
April 6, 2011 at 1:56 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:57 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 1:56 pm
THAT’S where my lampshades went!
April 6, 2011 at 1:57 pm
I am sorry but this lady is pretty bad-ass to be posing like this. I have pretty good tits but I am not that brave. Who the hell is in the market for nipple pasties anyways?
April 6, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I agree she is brave. But when you’re trying to *sell* a product you want to make it look as attractive as possible. That’s why god invented models.
April 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Yes, brave. She’s one of the real heroes.
April 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm
She’s doing it for the children.
April 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm
do a ‘pasties’* search on etsy, and you’ll be surprised: 1,411 sets for sale.
*and i don’t mean ‘cornish’.
April 7, 2011 at 9:48 am
burlesque dancers, for one; but they usually make their own
April 6, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Leopard print nips are the hot new thing this spring.
April 6, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Her mom was featured on Regretsy earlier! http://www.regretsy.com/2010/08/02/grrrrandma/
April 6, 2011 at 2:16 pm
That shop is what happens when you travel to the 90′s.
April 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Leopard + Cheetah = cougar?
April 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm
Thundercats Ho, indeed.
April 6, 2011 at 8:59 pm
FTW! That actually made me laugh loudly enough that my son in the next room wanted to know what was funny, and I had to quickly minimize the window (he’s 9).
April 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm
So my daughter just got 2 learning lessons – why some women MUST/SHOULD wear a bra and what pasties are. Perhaps this lady could get a leopard print bra and just put tassels on it. If I want to look as saggy tits, I have my own thankyouverymuch! ;p
April 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm
This is what it’s all about. Teaching moments.
April 6, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Again, I am reminded of the future benefits of having small boobs. They might not be much, but in the decades to come, those babies will still be where they are today!
April 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Amen sister.
April 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Mine couldn’t get back to where they started with a come-along.
April 6, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Ah, sorry, I hate to burst your bubble, but tiny tits sag, too. It’s a pitiful sight, just like the big ‘uns. The nipples sorta stay in the same place, but anything that ever was in the top drops down to the bottom. That pulls wrinkles around the nipple. The top really flattens out to absolutely nothing, like a man’s chest. Don’t consider yourself lucky. You’ve lived your whole life with no tits and then you get to go through old age with tiny sags.
April 6, 2011 at 4:54 pm
My bubbles already look bursted.
I guess my only hope is to eat a bunch of Fritos (chili cheese only, please) and hope I gain weight in all the right places.
April 6, 2011 at 2:02 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:03 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Oh gurl, you probably ain’t nearly as cute as you think you are.
April 6, 2011 at 6:31 pm
A quick google search aaaand…she’s not.
Note that I am not basing this on my own less-than-stellar looks. Just saying.
The cats are cute though.
April 9, 2011 at 2:21 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:04 pm
swing low sweet chariots
April 6, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Look who I found in her shop! She must be friends with the paint shitting guy!
April 6, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Better boobies on this one, though.
April 6, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Throw in a pool table and a bottle of Galliano and this is a movie I accidentally saw once.
April 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Would that be one of those rarely seen but oft heard of Gold Finger/Camel Toe hybrids?
April 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Goldcamel? I would watch that in a heartbeat.
April 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Cameltoe anyone?
April 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Rocky called and he want his shorts back
That’s the Rocky from the Picture Show, not; I repeat, NOT, Sylvester Stallone.
April 6, 2011 at 5:15 pm
you mean the flying squirrel?
April 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm
In just seven days…I can make you a handcrafted man to sell on Etsy.
April 6, 2011 at 5:33 pm
I am NOT referring to the bold woman in the photo above. I wouldn’t dare.
April 6, 2011 at 5:36 pm
LOL EXCELLENT!
I can just picture the shop now….
April 6, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Ooh, I’m shivering with antici…
April 6, 2011 at 7:14 pm
…consti…
April 7, 2011 at 4:38 pm
say it!…
September 10, 2011 at 3:16 pm
…pation!
April 6, 2011 at 4:44 pm
How do you color on a person like that? Oil pastels? Face paint stick? I think it’s kinda neat. Too bad the extreme camel toe overrides the cool technique used in coloring the model.
Funny, the pasties were the last thing I noticed in this scene.
April 6, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Theatrical makeup or powdered pigment makeup.
April 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm
I kind of like this one. In fact, after looking over her shop, the products are fine…just…why did she change models?
A model should show a product in the best light possible. Them model should not make potential customers contemplate plastic surgery.
April 7, 2011 at 6:44 am
Is it just me, or was anyone else thinking David Bowie plus the rainbow vomit girl (http://www.regretsy.com/2011/04/02/saturday-night-special/)???
Just me? I thought so.
April 6, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Are we mocking her body or her taste? I would prefer to stick to mocking her taste. There is so much potential there, you can’t possibly run out of material.
April 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:27 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 9:10 pm
Honestly, I think if she lost the coat and sat up straight, it wouldn’t be so bad. The posture and the ridiculous non-matching coat are too, too much for me.
April 6, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Did anybody else whip out their own tits to see if they hung that low? Anybody?
April 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm
Guilty.
April 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Yup. Then I put my bra back on.
April 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Happily, mine are being supported by my tummy.
April 6, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Yup.
April 6, 2011 at 5:48 pm
I have unfortunately found that sans bra mine point towards the ground like some sort of semaphore… just what I need to get that job at the airport!
April 6, 2011 at 7:22 pm
No, My knees are cold.
April 6, 2011 at 9:08 pm
I don’t have to. I was ruing the sight of my breasts just the other day when I contemplated buying lingerie. Instead I just threw on a sports bra, t-shirt, sweatshirt and then hid under the covers.
April 26, 2011 at 9:43 am
Totally guilty.
April 6, 2011 at 2:07 pm
She’s actually rather attractive. She reminds of that woman with the tits.
April 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm
What tits? /Labyrinth
April 6, 2011 at 5:53 pm
The tits with the pasties…
April 6, 2011 at 6:39 pm
What pasties?
April 7, 2011 at 2:29 am
The pasties of voodoo…
April 7, 2011 at 4:47 am
Whodoo?
April 7, 2011 at 9:21 am
You do. Do what? …remind of the tits.
April 6, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Posture helps. It’s almost like shes trying to touch her toes with the tassles the way she is hunched into that pose. Next photoshoot try posing with your arms over yoir head, chest out… oh fuckit, nevermind.
April 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Oh my god. I want these sooo freaking bad!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64955862/star-of-david-pasties-lchaim-baby
April 6, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Why do I think these would be good for a drag performance of “Mein Herr”?
April 6, 2011 at 2:19 pm
I’m gonna buy them, and find some high cut sequined booty shorts, and wait at the front door for my boyfriend to come home, and perform this shit with my ukulele. This needs to happen.
April 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Please post that to youtube!
April 6, 2011 at 2:11 pm
At least we get to see a variety of some real, everyday boobs on her site – a break from the fake, inflated Hollywood melons.
April 6, 2011 at 2:11 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I appreciate that there are different sizes and shapes of boobies in her shop and the pasties seem well-made. I don’t need pasties, but if I did, I might buy hers. Then again, I also dig some of the vagina jewelry…
April 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm
I don’t whip my tits out for any occasion! I’m in my 40s and found some old scrounged up dignity on the sidewalk. (Mine don’t sag that much! This is from memory, but I distinctly remember looking in the mirror and sighing in defeat this morning.)
April 6, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Somebody was in so much of a hurry to get their boobies on Etsy that they forgot all their punctuation rules.
April 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm
*Thank you*! That was the first thing I noticed! Bless you Victoria Regina!
April 7, 2011 at 4:49 am
She can’t even grasp the concept of matching animal print patterns and you want her to handle advanced concepts like punctuation?
April 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm
Ok…I am just going to cut to the chase here…
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April 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Funny shit.
April 6, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I wish to fucking hell I had my camera ready when I walked out of the Madison, Wisconsin Veteran’s Hospital. As I was walking out, a dark-haired chick was walking in and she was wearing a leopard coat exactly like this and carrying a leopard-print purse. She was fully clothed, though. (and when I first saw her, I wished I had my camera because she was a mish-mash of patterns; stripes and tie-dye with this leopard-print).
Then I get home, come over to Regretsy and I see her slightly younger exhibitionist sister.
This has been a day of fucked-up Leopardation.
April 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm
“fucked-up Leopardation”
That phrase just made me giggle uncontrollably.
April 6, 2011 at 2:38 pm
And it would make a great name for a punk/drag/hair band. Hmmm. Wonder if she makes leopard hairbands….
April 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Hooray for natural boobage, and “oh why would you do that” for the pasties.
April 6, 2011 at 2:26 pm
So, THAT’S what Monica Lewinksky is doing these days…
April 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Lewinsky, of course -
April 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Never know, your first effort might’ve been more appropriate after some of those Oval Office sessions.
April 6, 2011 at 2:26 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I instantly saw Mrs. Whiggins from the Carol Burnett Show. All she needs is a blonde wig and sunglasses. Then again, Carol never sank this low and she never flopped like this.
All in all, the pasties would work better in cougar print.
April 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm
The effect of gravity on boobs aside, and my ignorance of pasties showing… I think these nipple accessories were meant for a larger bust. Maybe Dolly Parton size?
April 6, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Actually pasties work better on smaller boobs….. *cough cough*
April 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm
And to think, just last night I was lamenting the number of pasties that Etsy thinks I want because I followed some Regretsy links a while back.. I guess now I’ll be seeing even more.
April 6, 2011 at 4:27 pm
I hate this. I reported someone who I think is a reseller from China, and now Etsy suggests their crap to me all the time. Oh Etsy.
April 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm
Gravity – 2 , Saucer Nipples – 0
April 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm
If only it were available in zebra print, I’d be buying it for my wife. But alas, she’s allergic to leopard print.
April 6, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Alas, I’m craftose intolerant, pretty much across the board…
April 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm
I whip my tits back and forth.
April 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Her bra size is a 36 long, I think.
April 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Excellent, now I have my outfit for the next Mums Night Out. Can’t wait.
April 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Okay, this would work much better if she had her arms over her head, arched her back, and was lying down…on barn wood. Then they’d sell instantly.
April 6, 2011 at 2:59 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Dammit, it’s true. It’s exactly why women wear bras. It’s also why most women don’t feature themselves topless on the internet (facebook profiles excepted, of course).
April 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Oh, I dunno. I think she’s kinda hot, but couldn’t she have sprinkled on some sparkles?
April 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I can tell I’ve spent too much time online today when my mind immediately went to “I want sprinkles” from cakewrecks. The cake/pasty image that sprang to mind cannot be erased with even the strongest of brain bleaches.
April 6, 2011 at 6:56 pm
It a gril!
April 6, 2011 at 3:16 pm
This seller is talks all her friends into flashing, puts booze in the wrong glasses, has a bizarre relationship with color and name drops Mucha.
I bet she makes terrifying cocktails from party leftovers (Root beer and St. Germain, anyone?) and that it would take one, maybe two max for us to become besties.
April 6, 2011 at 3:18 pm
btw – that should read “This seller talks” not “This seller is talks.” I started early. Yay me!
April 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm
I’ve written instruction cards for people selling pasties…to teach women how to make the tassles twirl. This lady hasn’t got a chance (at least of just the tassel twirling!)
April 6, 2011 at 3:23 pm
Yeah, ok, so less than perfectly perky boobs might be a somewhat distracting choice to display these…Maybe they WOULD look better on a dress form..fine.
But I think this is ballsy and actually pretty charming.
April 6, 2011 at 4:03 pm
You can only take yourself so seriously when you’re in the pasties business.
April 6, 2011 at 3:25 pm
I’m glad I checked Regresty today, and clicked through to this store. I now know the proper attire for knitting hats and looking wistful.
Though the description of this one creeped me out more than the rest of her store combined:
“the satin is thick, soft, and perfectly smoothed over a durable, lightweight base. fully lined, these will last years. instead of jewelry for an heirloom, why not a pair of these?”
I know I happily spent many hours as a small child examining my Grandmother’s pasties. Oh, wait, no I didn’t. I had a normal childhood.
April 6, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Your comment is fucking hilarious. I mean that.
But, bad copy aside, I think this picture is really cute. Love the colors, pretty girl, etc.
Yes, I am a bit off in general.
April 6, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Oh holy shit… that looks a whole lot like one of my friend’s teenage daughters. But I guess nothing’s really showing so it’s not kiddie pr0n.
April 6, 2011 at 3:47 pm
my husband says “yea looks sort of like her, but it’s not” and then he said the pasties look like the tops of those umbrellas you find in drinks.
I’ve got a carton of those umbrellas. Maybe I’ll open up “Grandma’s Pasty Store” on Etsy tonight…
April 6, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Okay, I have to say — she’s quite a lovely girl, and the leopard-and-cheetah-collision model is a right fair bit of crumpet, except for slightly oddly shaped breasts. But this redhead was styled for her shape, not despite it.
Excuse me while I become what I’ve always hated, but: Chins up and shoulders back, girls! Accentuate your good points and the boys will be attracted to your “confident” “personality”!
April 6, 2011 at 9:56 pm
I told them not to take my picture while I’m getting ready for work.
And then I woke up.
Yeah now this is the woman you want to model your pasties for you.
April 7, 2011 at 11:34 am
Agreed–she is cute and it’s a nice picture. Does anyone else think her right boob (her right, not our right) looks photoshopped a bit? Or is that a tan line? Just curious.
I’m probably just jealous because she has the perfect delicate Roman nose I’ve always wanted.
April 7, 2011 at 1:49 pm
“instead of jewelry for an heirloom, why not a pair of these?”
That exact line jumped out at me, too, on that listing. Granted I’m a lot less creeped out at the idea of my grandma having pasties than my own mother… but why on earth would I want to hand down pasties as an heirloom? Or receive them? “Look here, kid, these are the pasties I wore the night your father was conceived” *shudder*
April 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm
I thought everyone wore their boobless aprons while knitting…Oh I am so confused! Mommy? Am I weird?
April 6, 2011 at 3:28 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Blind?
April 6, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Holy guacamole, all those comments and no one pointed out that there is no reason to wear a JACKET when modeling the damn things? It is like trying to peer through theater curtains. If she just lost the jacket, threw her shoulders back and pointed her hooters proudly at the world there would probably be a lot fewer snarky comments on what are fairly normal if unremarkable boobs.
April 6, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Yeah. This one just made me go “
meh“. Those aren’t the worst boobies I’ve seen. Not the best of course. Just..meh. Everyone’s focusing on her boobs when it’s the rest of the god awful mess/get up that needs to be taken out back and burned. Regretsy needs a time out and a jelly shot, or fifty.April 6, 2011 at 3:31 pm
Believe it or not, it’s the color rendering in the photograph that I find most distressing. The best she could do was a table lamp sitting on the floor with the shade taken off, and no color correction on the camera or in editing?
April 6, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Man, don’t even get me started on the color rendering.
April 6, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Yeah…me too..I keep noticing the bad lighting and no correcting of contrast, exposure… Would look better with just a bit of editing.
I still say they all have some charm though.
April 6, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Really? No one else started singing the Cruella De Vil song?? Just me?
April 6, 2011 at 5:44 pm
The question is whether the cruelly stripped coats in question are those of leopard and cheetah kits or of scrawny girls in body glitter who have confused “hawt couture” with “cheap-looking.”
April 7, 2011 at 10:55 am
*cough*its haute*cough* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haute_couture
April 6, 2011 at 3:47 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I realize why I didn’t get past callbacks for a stripper role in the local production of “Gypsy”… I wasn’t wearing leopard print pasties.
April 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I’m pretty sure I like this person. We should have her over for tea. What do you guys say?
April 6, 2011 at 3:54 pm
YES.
April 6, 2011 at 3:58 pm
Agreed, she looks like someone who snarks brilliantly in a casual, offhand way.
April 6, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Thirded. I bet they’d all be lovely tea companions. I’ll share my special “Save the Ta-Tas” box with them.
April 6, 2011 at 8:03 pm
I’ll bring the scones.
April 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Really? They’re breasts! She didn’t pick them out of a catalogue, they just grew like that. They look pretty normal. Save the pasties…
April 6, 2011 at 4:12 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 4:04 pm
The open blazer with pasties pointed south is the kind of outfit that says “Hey – check out my amazing shoes!”
April 6, 2011 at 4:09 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 4:10 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Fuck yeah…You rock.
April 6, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Ok…That made sense a moment ago.
April 6, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Guys, please. We’re not allowed to judge anyone’s looks ever, for any reason. Looks can never be used for any kind of evaluation purposes; unless it’s to decide someone looks brave or looks like they’d be fun to hang out with.
April 6, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Hey now I never said she looks fun to hang out with. I have enough nipple pastied friends!
April 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm
That referred to comment #94.
April 6, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I post this with genuine fear, because not only do I know that you are HK’s fiance, but a really fucking smart and funny man, and could easily shred me, I am sure…
But…I’m not sure anyone is really saying that. It’s not that looks can’t be evaluated or judged..everyone does that all damn day long.
Maybe it’s just that some people have a certain limit as to what is funny in that regard, and maybe that limit was hit for some. If they should just shut up about reaching that limit, then fine, but I would counter that there is a whole world between saying NOTHING about anyone’s looks, EVER…and being really personal-attacky cruel, the way some of the comments have been.
I don’t think HK’s post was cruel at all, by the way…I speak only of other commentors.
So..now..I hit the “Post” button with my heart in my throat, and run the fuck away like the pussy I am.
April 7, 2011 at 6:21 am
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April 6, 2011 at 5:30 pm
I don’t aim to shut anyone up. Some of these comments definitely went further than I would like, but I try to avoid deleting comments whenever possible.
The simple fact of the situation for me is that the model shown doesn’t have a great body for this kind of thing. Objectively speaking, she doesn’t have the ideal breasts to show off a listing for pasties. I think we all know that. I’m not going to go overboard with insulting her body, but I’m also not going to give her a Nobel Prize and talk about what a brave soul she is for flashing her tits on the internet. Not everybody looks great naked, no matter how much we might wish otherwise.
There’s a reason Ernest Borgnine doesn’t do ads for boxer briefs.
Anyway, don’t be afraid of me. I’m a pussycat.
April 6, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Thanks!
April 6, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Fie. I think with no empirical evidence whatsoever that you’re a terrifying man.
April 6, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Yeah. As smart (and kind, really) as his response to me was, I think remaining somewhat terrified is a good policy for me.
I just ain’t that good.
April 6, 2011 at 9:57 pm
I’m a bit peeved by the notion that someone who shows her tits (lousy or otherwise) to millions is somehow ‘brave.’ Regardless of the quality of her exhibit, she’s still an exhibitionist. If women paid more attention to developing their minds and less to their tits, we wouldn’t give a shit about how this woman looked
April 6, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Yeah, but. The point isn’t Who Should Wear Pasties — but Who Might LIke to Buy Pasties. As long as there’s no approval committee for Pastie-couture to whom we must apply before purchase, hen the model can be her, you, me or Ruth Gordon.
Is there some cut-off point for who is allowed wear the silly things (even if they do look like dog-butt stickers)? She’s fine. I think people forget that models in magazines are hand-selected for their resemblance to 12-inch fashion dolls.
Seeing someone out there who doesn’t resemble the ideal — seems fine, to me. This goes for the next ten ordinary-people-in-revealing-Etsy-clothing you see –!
April 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
I think VGO did a better job explaining my post than me. I don’t think she is a ‘brave soul’ I guess I just don’t agree that not everyone looks good naked or that ‘she doesn’t have a great body for this kind of thing.’ because saying things like that just feeds into this idea that certain bodies are good or bad or acceptable and unacceptable.
Some of the comments seemed mean to me and I probably shouldn’t have said anything or if I did, I should have not sounded so defensive.
April 6, 2011 at 6:07 pm
In that case, I agree with the ‘looks brave’ description…
April 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm
April 6, 2011 at 7:27 pm
The tie tassels make this pic!
April 6, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Does this remind anyone else of Venture Brothers?
“HUNTER: Good lord, son, there should be a mandatory retirement age for strippers.
BROCK: Oh, did you see I got cornered by Robin last night? I almost had to chew off my own arm to get away.
HUNTER: Oh! That poor woman has the saddest tits. Damned depressing.
BROCK: Right! Yeah, they’re like The Notebook sad.
HUNTER: Tits are like coming home from school and finding out your old man ran over your cat sad.
BROCK: Mournful. She has mournful tits. They’re like two suicide notes stuffed in a glitter bra.
HUNTER: Those things are like a little kid with progeria cracking all his ribs trying to catch a Nerf ball. Just sad. Damnit she has gloomy tits!
BROCK: It’s like she put a dollars worth of change into some old socks and then taped ‘em to her chest!
HUNTER: I wanna build two little caskets and give her tits a tasteful, dignified funeral.”
April 6, 2011 at 4:41 pm
That being said, I still prefer natural boobies to fake saline bags. I breastfed 3 children at 2 years a pop. I threw my tits a nice tasteful funeral back in 2006.
April 6, 2011 at 5:05 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOdoXlJA9Nw
It’s worth the click to hear the voices of Hunter and Brock.
April 6, 2011 at 8:08 pm
That’s some funny shit there. Love it.
April 6, 2011 at 4:55 pm
All I could think of is that one episode of The Simpsons in Brazil….
“Clockwise!”
*vwim vwim vwim*
“Counter Clockwise!”
*vwim vwim vwim*
April 6, 2011 at 4:59 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 5:00 pm
April 6, 2011 at 5:02 pm
I really don’t care what she looks like either way, believe me the mirror shows me much saggier boobs every morning. But was it really necessary to have a live model at all? Not only do I think it’s just a chance for her to be an exhibitionist, but does she honestly think anyone wants to order pre worn pasties??
April 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 6:14 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 5:13 pm
I’m only level one
April 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Actually, my husband thinks that obviously natural boobs like this are sexy.
Thank god.
April 6, 2011 at 5:31 pm
I think it’s safe to say that most straight men find most boobs sexy.
April 6, 2011 at 9:51 pm
I am grateful to be married to a man who prefers natural boobs to plastic any day. Every woman has her own beauty, and lingerie models that look like real women are OK in my book (and his too). You go, Pastiegirl!
April 7, 2011 at 10:12 am
My awesome boyfriend has been known to say “If I can touch ‘em, they’re real” with regards to implants. Fortunately for me and my big natural boobs, he is equally enthusiastic about any breasts he can touch and doesn’t seem to give much of a shit if they sag or not. Hooray for cool men who love all boobs!! Maybe I’ll get some sweet leopardskin pasties to entertain the BF and figure out how to twirl them to some kind of frantic plate-spinning music.
April 6, 2011 at 10:02 pm
“Once you see one woman naked, you want to see all of ‘em naked.” – Ron White
April 6, 2011 at 5:22 pm
I guess I don’t understand why women who are confidant and comfortable showing their breasts but don’t adhere to our fucked up cultures standards of fake tits, isn’t allowed to model for etsy? that’s what’s being implied isn’t it? She’s probably a sellers friend who feels good about herself and thought pasties would be funny to wear. I guess I didn’t understand why this post was here in the first place. Somehow I missed the whole ‘lets tear other women down’ tag….
April 6, 2011 at 5:40 pm
I haven’t seen anyone say she isn’t allowed to model for Etsy. I just don’t think she’s the only one who’s entitled to self-expression.
Also – “fucked up fake tits”? What’s with the tearing down other women thing?
April 6, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Helen, we’re only allowed to express ourselves when we say positive things.
April 6, 2011 at 5:44 pm
April 6, 2011 at 5:57 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 5:39 pm
that reminds me: i need to buy balogna.
April 6, 2011 at 5:55 pm
I just went to her store – if I ever need pasties I am getting them from her – mainly because of this one..
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44119255/gold-pink-duchess-pasties-iridescent
She is frighteningly similar to what I see in the mirror every morning… doppelganger!
April 6, 2011 at 8:12 pm
While her photos are wildly theatrical, I kind of like the pasties themselves. I probably wouldn’t get anything from this seller, mostly because I’m all the way at the other end of the spectrum–nothing to sag…
April 6, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Your bedhead looks like you have roses in your hair?!
I just look like a Flock of Seagulls fan every morning.
April 6, 2011 at 5:56 pm
April 6, 2011 at 9:18 pm
Fuck, I’m going to have to go look at some fluffy kittens now to cleanse that one out of my head.
April 6, 2011 at 9:53 pm
AWESOME. McBoobies! [giggles madly]
April 6, 2011 at 6:01 pm
*sigh* Well done, Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Breasts. Good show. Nice effort.
I have a double chin. Comes with being a big Sicilian girl. I don’t have a problem with this, but you know what? If I modeled my jewelry on myself while staring at a point between my big toes to emphasize its full and fulsome curve, I’d expect Regretsy to make fun of me.
When a product (jewelry, pasties, makeup, whatever) is meant to make you pretty by society’s standards, you should look pretty by society’s standards in the photo of the item.
She’s pretty. Her breasts aren’t socially standard. Betcha she knows this. Nobody looks good slouching. Betcha she doesn’t.
Pasties are not a Joyous Expression of Our Yonic and Mammarytittary Womyn Freedom. They’re a fun way to try for social-norm sexy tits. Hers, while they are, let’s be honest in our appraisal here, probably a happy little handful indeed in person, not social-norm/good for product.
April 6, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Well that was an excellent point, perfectly expressed.
And yeah, I agree.
I still say that while I do think they would have looked better (as I wrote up-thread, though not even a fraction as wittily as you), on a dress form or more “Dita-esque” boobs, I still think it’s cute.
Yeah, so I am weird, but it ain’t about WomynFreedomPeaceLove for me….I just think it’s kitchy and oddly charming.
Just…please don’t make me see the Vagina Monologues. Please.
April 6, 2011 at 7:19 pm
I refuse to see them because they can’t distinguish between “vulva” and “vagina.” I could say something about perpetuating ignorance about women’s own sex parts in a forum that’s supposed to be about celebration, but — nah. It just bothers me.
April 6, 2011 at 7:59 pm
Thank you. That has always bugged me. Even this “beadazzle your vajajay” thing irritates…because I am always thinking..”What…glitter in your internal mucus membrane?”…
Hell..its not even sparklies on your vulva..its the fucking MONS.
Know your parts!
April 6, 2011 at 9:41 pm
Wait, what? I could have been vajazzling this whole time? I thought it was their actual vaginas they were glittering up, and that just sounded painful and unnecessary.
*runs to find her sparkles and a glue gun*
April 10, 2011 at 8:19 am
fully agree!
April 6, 2011 at 7:20 pm
“happy little handful” is the way I’m describing all tits from now on.
April 6, 2011 at 9:09 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Just cuz…you know…equal time and all.
April 6, 2011 at 6:22 pm
FABULOUS
April 6, 2011 at 6:50 pm
I showed this to Ernest in Menswear, and his response:
April 7, 2011 at 7:49 am
Glass of water for Mr. Grainger!
April 6, 2011 at 8:04 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 8:28 pm
She’s wearing her merkin way too high.
April 7, 2011 at 9:42 am
That must have taken some bravery to do an image search for “Ernest Borgnine underpants.” Bravo!
April 6, 2011 at 6:48 pm
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April 6, 2011 at 10:09 pm
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April 7, 2011 at 1:54 am
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April 7, 2011 at 3:48 am
Those would cover up everything I have…..
April 7, 2011 at 4:42 am
the fact is that she obviously feels confident enough in herself to take this photo, and although most of us wouldn’t do it , you have got to admire her for that.
Sure her breasts are long and flat , but i know lots of guys dont give a toss about that( so to speak) , and i think that most of the comments here are just from bitchy judgemental women.
We should be more supportive of one another (pardon the pun)
April 7, 2011 at 6:26 am
300+ comments about ‘sex kitten’ here, and not one pearl necklace joke? Is it because the pearls are black?!? You bunch of hipster racists!!!
April 7, 2011 at 6:58 am
Thanks to sudden exposure to the Star of David pasties, my mental cinema is now playing ‘Fiddler on the Roof – the Burlesque’.
In the interests of fairness, I think this store needs to produce a complete range of religious pasties. And also some Darwin fish pasties with sequin-covered movable legs.
April 7, 2011 at 7:58 am
Why do I always become speechless when I visit Regretsy?
April 7, 2011 at 10:02 am
I almost stayed out of this one, but:
My boobs went from AAs to Ds when I went into recovery for anorexia. So I’m not about to go bashing ANYONE’s body type. I have a hard enough time looking in the mirror every day, having gone from 72 lbs at the lowest to about 130 now.
I just don’t understand why these *the pasties, mind you*, couldn’t have been displayed nicely on something else, other than a human. When I was at my thinnest, I modeled, sometimes nude. And I would have never, ever, modeled pasties– TO SELL– on a site like etsy, ebay, etc.
April 7, 2011 at 10:04 am
You know, for big ‘uns her boobs are probably pretty nice. Large boobies have some hang to them, unless they’re not real. She just needs to stand up straight and square her shoulders to do them full justice. I’ve seen way weirder-looking breasts. On Regretsy.
Good for her for feeling good enough about her body to model her product herself. Bad for her for making a pretty lame product.
Also, there are SIZING GUIDELINES for pasties? This opens up whole new uncomfortable vistas in my mind.
April 7, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Of course there are sizing guidelines! Nipple type is just as variable as booby type. Think of this woman’s coaster-sized pasties on a small-boobded woman. At that point they would be like glue-on bikini.
April 7, 2011 at 10:08 am
She’s very pretty. I agree that her breasts look saggy, and probably that’s due in part to her posture, the pose, etc. Whatever the reason, the pasties look BAD on her! And if they look bad on the model, that isn’t a good selling strategy.
April 7, 2011 at 11:46 am
Did anyone else get the irrepressible urge to do ten “I must-I must-I must improve my bust!” exercises?
April 7, 2011 at 6:43 pm
This woman is gutsy!
April 12, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I am 41 and gifted in the chest area. Things head south over time and I have come to accept this. I have also hung out with a lot of naked people and have seen a lot of non-augmented breasts. I don’t see anything wrong with her.