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wow thata the first time i was going to say that looks like dung….. creepy!
You were getting love, yesterday, dude; what happened?
Everyone who went to his show is still hung over.
to much of that tiger blood last night…
I choose vanity.
Ooh! I have dibs on lust.
Playing in Cleveland will do that to you.
Charlie, now they’re just picking on you!
Why the bizarrely specific price on the last one? Would it have killed them to make their fake fimo meteorite cost $91101.00 instead?
It adds to the charm and mystery of the… crap, literal crap in this case.
Are you sure it’s fimo and not laminated cow crap? Because that’s totally worth the bizarre price point.
This must be binary code. The other worldly lost & found language.
The good news for my fellow canucks, is that due to our high Canadian dollar, the turd meteorite is only approximately $89,754.69 CAD!!!!!
I’m totally going over to Target now to buy some glass terrarium bowls. Perhaps then my cats will stop eating my baby herbs.
Aww, honey… you had me at “Bacon” but lost me at “First!”
The “first” thing? Really??
Or are you just trying to get a spanking from Bronc for being bad?
Spankings for everyone!!!
ME FIRST, ME FIRST
I do hope you would support etsy artisan seller rather than going to a cheap reseller for the sake of $10 saving?
Paddy – you’re joking, right?
Just being sarcastic, and I’m surprised to see -20…
-21 and counting:) So it’s either absolutely not funny and pathetic or people think I’m really urging them to buy from the etsy based reseller…
Ugggh I think I ended up paying around $14 for the stupid kissing necklace, I should have just went online-damn you Torrid!!
I think the necklace isn’t horrible – but the green ring it’ll leave around your neck for “vintage brass” – in other words CRAP = priceless.
You did however support a crafty etsy artisan by buying it for $14, good karma for you!
No. She bought it from Torrid, who I don’t believe is on Etsy. Yet.
Since it was for $14 I assumed she bought it of the “vintage” shop. I just never heard of Torrid before…
Omg reading fail.
Put the cow shit in the jar and put the jar on the plate and you got yourself a deal! (The necklace is just tacky.)
Can you glue the jar to the plate for me? I can’t be bothered to actually set it there everytime I move it.
oooh! They have those bowls at Big Lots! I should seriously start selling crap.
just because it’s for sale doesn’t mean anyone’s buying it.
They closed my Big Lots. I’m kind of sad because now I can’t replace the plates I broke. Maybe I can find them on Etsy.
My mama always told me to watch out for people who would take advantage of me. She’d always say “Why buy the meteorite when you can get the cow shit for free?”
What’s amazing is that even if the Obama plate wasn’t on sale it’s still cheaper than the one on Etsy.
But it kinda looks like shitty Photoshop job, so I’d rather save my $50 and get Pokemon White.
I have one in my kitchen. I bought it at CVS for $6.
I suspect they meant “Munch,” not “Monk” on that last one?
Nah, it looks much more like Tony Shaloub than Richard Belzer.
Damn the lack of pictures of Tony Shalhoub screaming.
Damn my remembering his name before I looked it up, so I spelled it incorrectly…
But it worked phonetically. That’s really what counts in the written word. :-\
They let my son’s class get away with phonetic spelling in everything except the spelling tests. He’s in third grade. I was a journalist and an editor, and it makes me want to fucking scream.
Try stills from Men in Black, that was a classic Tony Shalhoub roll, and he probably did a lot of screaming in that one.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who got that Monk/Munch part.
The Monk/The Scream… that’s priceless.
“Meteorite Monk Scream” would be a great band name.
look for it soon! i’ll be pitching that to the band this next week…
The woman selling the Obama plate has all manner of wonderful handmade items in her shop – including a kids Snuggie and Bath and Body Works lotions….wait, what??
Well shitballs, she has taken down the Obama plate AND the Snuggie…
She reads Regretsy. LOL!
Well here’s her other fabulous handmade items…
then she should know better…
From the Moonlit Path listing, she must not read Regretsy enough to know what violates the Etsy TOU. You’re supposed to save that stuff for Ebay…duh.
Obama is BACK bitches!
Does she just go to Michael’s and buy up the fake flower aisle?
lols. She has a “handmade” Snuggy for kids! I could barely stop myself from adding the slightly used bath and body works lotion and bath gel to my cart…noooooo.
The glass jar is gone, too.
That was FAST.
Yeah – just reported the Obama plate AND the Snuggie and the toe socks AND the Bath & Body works shit. AND her shop. Douche.
Well, I hope you didn’t use the flagging tool to report the shop. Because that’s not the right way to report these activities, as we’ve well learned.
@ hippie joe, not just douche, vintage douche.
whoope! hippiejo! sorry, too much wine already…
I thought you were calling yourself “shitballs” there for a minute. I wanted to tell you not to be so hard on yourself.
Wow! She even colored the bottles to look like actual Bath and Body Works products!
Those amazing stickers of a man masquerading as a bat – a Bat-Man, perhaps – are so wonderfully handmade and original, too!
(I know, supplies… but they’re not tagged as that.)
Well, her shop is “Altered Treasures” – I’d be afraid to buy the brand new lotion – maybe she altered it!
This reminds me that I really would like a small meteorite pendant. But what are the odds of my actually getting a legit meteorite?
You should check with a space museum, or the Smithsonian. I think some of them have small meteorites in their gift shops.
I need to make the time to pop into the Natural History one sometime. Maybe one of the nights it’s open I can hit it up on the way home from work. That’s where they keep the meteorites on display, so it has the best odds.
Or, y’know, Air & Space. *facepalm* (but there are a number of touchable meteorites in Natural History. None screaming)
Or you could just buy one…
About 91101.01 to 1, I’d imagine.
Guaranteed 100% natural / no fake meteorites!!!
I created an account just so I could reply to this. http://shop.ebay.com/5_billionaires/m.html These guys sell tektite. Cool stuff.
I’d reply but I’m too busy looking for my walker, dentures, and bifocals now that things from the 70′s are antiques.
I remember these from the 70s, and I’m not sure how I feel about their still being produced:
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
When my spawn had finished gestating I received a “lovely”, wind-up Precious Moments dollie that said the Lord’s Prayer in a voice so fucking creepy I couldn’t even handle having the damn thing near me.
I saw one that did the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer.
Having a doll that says “if I die before I wake” is extremely creepy.
Having a doll that looks like THAT saying “if I die before I wake” isn’t creepy. It isn’t whimsicle, it’s plain old fucking insanity.
I have a plush praying cat that when you squeeze it says, “Dear Lord, hear my prayer, for all your creatures everywhere, for animals both big and small, and for my pets please bless them all.”
Except the word ‘bless’ sounds more like ‘molest’
Dangit mapleleaves, that’s the one I meant. I get all confuddled with the christ talk.
holy shit. my daughter got a bear that said the bedtime prayer. i burned a bunch of shit when we moved out and some old stuffed animals (you know, elephants with one ear, etc) were in there. that fucking bear made it’s way in there. nothing as fucking creepy as your fire saying it’s bedtime prayers. *shudder* okay, i have to stop thinking about that now.
I used to think these were precious. For a moment.
Awwww, I’ll bet she gets a bottle of Windex for Sweetest Day.
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
I am gonna pick up my own hunk of Brazilian space rock and beat that seller senseless for his/her fucking ALL CAPS description of utter bullshit! We’ll see who’s screaming then.
Willknit,you made my heart go pitter-pat a little on that one.
I want a Brazilian hunk as well
I don’t understand why people bother pricing things so high on Etsy. No one is selling enough crocheted bikinis, vagina necklaces, and hot glued chrysanthemums to afford a screaming intergalactic cow patty.
intergalactic cow patty. another great band name.
Obviously Regretsy needs to make an awesome band. Or maybe someone just needs to make an etsy shop where he or she just sells made up band names. It’s less lucrative than it sounds… I mean, look at the other shit people manage to sell on there.
I would buy that band t, though.
and I want to edit my post above to include ‘screaming’.
screaming intergalactic cow patty.
On my facebook feed, there’s this link right above a quote from the Daily Show: “Hit me with your best, biggest turd.”
Well I think you just have.
And fuck you, reseller, no one ~bids~ on Etsy. This is why it is turning into eBay. THERE IS NO AUCTION OCCURRING. STFU.
Christ..I just wrote the same thing. I missed your post.
So, just call me metoo.
“You are bidding on” always kills me. What a seamless copy-and-paste transition you’ve made from drop shipping on eBay, oh titan of artisanship!
Three whole kilos of sacred magic?
I doubt I could handle that much outer-space monk scream head. Can I convo you for just a sliver off the side?
Take a few vacation days, and get the whole thing. You, and your friends, could party on that much outer-space-monk-scream-head for days.
Bless you for assuming that I have friends.
i can think of 3 other kilos of sacred magic.
Apparently “old novetly tooling” is a euphemism for “selling fake vintage shit.”
Or “cheap reproduction of gumball machine jewelry with dangerously high lead content.”
But they do give “free” shipping: IF THERE IS ANY COMPLICATIONS WITH SHIPPING INSURANCE ETC. OUTSIDE THE U.S.A. MONK/SCREAM METEORITE WILL MOST LIKELY BE DELIVERED TO YOU IN PERSON TO MOST ANY PLACE ON THE PLANET AFTER YOUR PAYPAL PAYMENT CLEARS!!!
For $91,101.01, it had better be hand delivered to me on a private jet that is flying me to Madrid for the first stop in an all-inclusive, 1st class European tour.
I dropped and broke my Splenda bowl this morning. Now I know where to get a cheap replacement. Thanks!
And it won’t break. I have that exact same bowl in one bathroom for cotton balls. I dropped it the other day, and instead of breaking when it hit the counter, that knob on the lid took out a big chip of tile.
The kissing kids pendent is sold at Forever21 as well, it’s 2.99! The candy dish one is full of derp. They wrote “bidding” instead of purchasing. The price for the “screaming monk” is … amazing.
The Obama plate had a “not food safe” label on it. Maybe that’s why it’s worth 10 times more than the Amazon one? I mean, they’re both not food safe, right? So really, the etsy seller is looking out for her customers and that’s worth moving the decimal place one to the right, isn’t it?
That would only work with people who are too stupid to realize you’re not SUPPOSED to eat off a Commemorative Plate in the first place.
The apothecary jar particularly chafes because not only is the seller attempting to screw you…but they just copied and pasted their Ebay listing text.
Guess what, fucktard…In spite of some thinking it’s a “flea market”…there is no actual BIDDING going on at Etsy.
Cept for my soul, it seems.
retro != vintage
Retro does not equal Vintage
RETRO DOES NOT EQUAL VINTAGE!!!!!!
(whew. I feel better now. Maybe I’ll go have some Earl Gray tea.)
Not on an empty stomach, though. You know that’ll make you womit.
Make sure there’s some food coloring in the tea and vomit on a canvas — problem solved!
And 2008 equals neither retro nor vintage. Discuss!
Don’t you mean, “discusting”?
What a strange price for the meteorite. Seriously, for that price, say it’s fossilized T-Rex dung….
Or a fossilized T-Rex.
Mystical, vintage, sky turds sans brass stamping octopus for $91K? I’m thinkin’ someone wanted to see themselves on Regretsy.
lovespelljewels.com links to the Phillipine seller’s Etsy shop.
“METEORITE MONK-SCREAM HEAD OF COMET METEORITE WITH FACE OUTER SPACE ROCK MASCOT FROM URAUCU BRAZIL 3 KILO SACRED MAGIC CHANNEL ENTITY METEORITE PLUS FREE BONUS GENUINE THOMAS EDISON RECORDING FREE SHIPPING PERSONAL DELIVERY OR BEST OFFER” is totally going to be my new screen name. Do you think I can break the forums?
I think that should be your real name. I want to hear an Italian woman scream that from the balcony to tell you your spaghetti is ready.
I think that only works on Wednesdays, in the North End of Boston
Especially if there are older siblings with equally long names, since you know an upset mother has to go through the whole list from oldest to youngest!
Looks like someone forgot to zip up their spacesuit.
There’s a meteorite at the Smithsonian and I can go look at it and touch it anytime I want. For free…
Touch my Meteorite…TOUCH HIM.
Oh no, the etsy seller with the vintage kids kissing pendant…. I’ve been reading her blog for years! She’s a sweet kid. Although, to be fair, she loooves those awful cabochon flower things. She superglues them to everything! But I can imagine that she makes good money selling her jewelry.
I looked at the other listings of the monk-scream meteorite seller… He has a “jesus face” rock that looks pretty similar, but he sewed it four removable hats AND a headband, and it’s like, 1/90th the price. Just in case anyone fell in love was looking for a *really* good deal.
Jesus has a pimpin’ hat. Who knew?
Oh, I love this one. It it were $10, I’d buy it.
This might be more in your price range, then. It just comes with the one holiday hat, though, I’m afraid.
I have seen that listing before. Was it here? Maybe it was the twitter feed, @StupidShitonEtsy. It was a long time ago. I can’t believe he hasn’t sold that one yet.
“I ALSO MADE JESUS FACE A TESLA LIGHTNING FUSION HEADBAND FROM AN ELECTRONICS PART THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN A SECURITY SYSTEM IN AN UNDERGROUND ***EXTRATERRESTRIAL ALIEN BASE IN COLORADO. HIS TESLA HAT REALLY BOOSTS HIS THIRD EYE MIND MELD ENERGY WHERE THE TESLA COIL IS CONNECTED TO HIS BLOW HOLE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD. TODAY I WILL ALSO RE-ENERGIZE HIS HAT AND JESUS FACE WITH MY ENERGIZING BALANCING STONES FROM KANSAS FOR WORLD PEACE AND LAUGHTER THROUGH OUT THE LAND ON CHRISTMAS.”
Wow. This seller is all kinds of crazy. Apparently this rock will also “help enhance space ship landings”…
“”THE BIGGEST WEAPON ON THE PLANET IS TO MAKE THEM LAUGH SO HARD THEY ALL DROP THEIR WEAPONS”!!!!! ;o)”
it is also steampunk.
Oh dear, I think that am in frank internet love with this Energetic Jesus Santa Hat Spaceship seller person.
I’ll bet his neighbors love living next door to Energetic Jesus Santa Hat Spaceship seller person too.
Although the space ship traffic would be a bitch to deal with.
Then follow your heart. Just be aware you’ll be living in an abandoned underground nuclear shelter somewhere in Nevada, distilling your own urine to drink and subsisting on a diet of whatever lizards and small animals you can snare.
Also be aware he probably hasn’t showered, shaved or cut his hair since shortly after the Summer of Love.
The rock looks like Obama’s face.
The necklace was actually part of Forever 21′s $1.50 selections a couple months back, they cycle through them pretty quickly though so I think it’s gone.
Shouldn’t that be shunted off to Forever 12?
Pretty much, I always buy a bunch of their shitty $1.50 necklaces cause they’re random. I’ve got lips, a zebra, a fat ass unicorn, and a robot just to name a few. My coworkers think they’re hilarious, but one of the girls who also works there kept telling me to get the kissing kids cause it was “cute” I never did though. I finally just told her I wasn’t getting it cause it wasn’t as fucking random as my others and kinda creepy like those dutch kids in old folks yards.
I adore how that little red sticker tells me that “food consumed” on the Obama plate “might be harmful.” Nothing says American hope like lead paint from China.
The “monk scream magic channel entity meteorite” looks like a piece of coal to me.
I got my kissing charm in a gumball machine for 25 cents back in the day. I think it was on a key ring, and I think I still have it. Wonder how much it has appreciated since then?
And the description of that piece of crap made my head hurt. Random words strung together do not a description make. On the other hand, I guess it’s better than saying, “Bull Hockey, $91,101.01.”
Since when is 2008 vintage? And since when are meteorites handmade?
You’re not keeping up with the conspiracy theorists. Meteorites are (a) handmade by the “aliens” who live inside our planet (and send out ships for observance, hence UFOs) or (b) handmade by aliens from other planets who then play their version of badminton in low-gravity and too frequently hit one over the barrier. Then of course there’s (c) the seller is an imbecile.
Well I don’t know about you, but I’m makin’ a new tinfoil hat just for the occasion!
Hand of God made?
Terrariums are so last year, I mean 2 yrs ago.
New theme, HK? “So Last Year But Etsy Is Still Pummeling It To Death”.
It’s sorta like your Questionaires on the Next Etsy Trend.
We already have a list going starting with owl, cowls mustaches octupi, little patches of fake grass, anything beige, light grey, off white or without any color whatsoever.
Whaddddda ya say?
I think this would go great with that necklace – too bad she already sold it…
and then of course there’s this and this and this and …
Guess what? She has another one up for sale: http://etsy.me/gS8KBe Amazing how she’s found this cache of vintage kissing kids jewelry. What are the odds??
I guess if you space out your listings enough, it all seems like ‘one of a kind’…
What happened here is she bought a bunch of them from love jewels, went back into 70-s, then went back into 2011 only to find her stash nicely “vintaged” ready to be sold on Etsy.
Or she found a gumball machine with the Stalest Gum On Earth.
I love that the Compare and Save! logo has the mom and child looking at the ballsless briefs on their laptop. Mama looks as if she likes, a lot.
I hadn’t even noticed what they were looking at. The girl looks pretty happy at the prospect of ballsless briefs, too.
Huh, I would have imagined that the intersection of “People willing to drop wads of cash for purported meteorite bits” and “People who want a genuine Thomas Edison recording” would be a vanishingly small number.
Interesting little freebie he threw in there to sweeten the pot.
I was wondering about the “genuine Thomas Edison recording” too. I’m thinking it works like a seashell- the recording is inside the meteorite turd, you hold it up to your ear and the voices in your head supply the rest…
I was thinking the same. Whatever the fuck it is, I know I want it.
I’m not getting terrarium as an application for the sugar bowl. By the time you put dirt in it, there wouldn’t be room for much of a plant. I guess you could toss some old bread in there and have a mold terrarium.
I think we may already have one of those…
I guess I could put moss from our yard in it.
My Target sugar bowl is being featured on Regretsy! This is a fantastic day.
Mine came from Fred Meyer!
I spy, with my little eye…
the “antique boy and girl kissing” necklace? yeah. i have the bracelet and my buddy has the necklace. 1$ in the target dollar bin.
If the Obama Plate girl sold cafeteria-style food, it would be as though Woolworth’s never closed! How Nostalgic!
Or maybe she is going for the CVS thing, they also sell Snuggies, and pink wallets such as the one she features.
I am apparently a giant nerd. I’m staring at the poop picture and trying to determine based on the hooves whether that’s a cow or a goat. Hrmmm.
well it’s not cow hooves. might be goat. the angle looks like short legs. will have to go out and look at goat feet tomorrow. maybe have the picture to compare…might me llama though??
Another way to quit your day job is to resell 99 cent sewing patterns from Joann’s. Like this listing for Simplicity 2198:
“This is a brand new pattern, I just pulled from my local fabric store’s pattern drawers this weekend. They have the best sales ever, and I always try to pick up some patterns I think my customers would enjoy using for their creations.”
At least she’s being brutally honest!
The first Obama plate comes with “no food” sticker, hence $45 mark-up.
The beauty of buying on Etsy is that artisans are most of the time happy to customize your item for you. The glass jar guy is willing to customize the quantity…
I know right? I can have one OR three? Ah America–the land of choices.
But is there a customizable smell included. I need a certain size smell if I’m going to use this as a place to keep my ideals.
I’m afraid you’ll have to change the size of the smell yourself, it’s luxury enough as it is that the seller is offering custom quantity, we can’t expect too much after that…
That’s O.K.; it’s a bit too big for my ideals anyway.
I love the way the sellers set their price points. There must be a reseller dart board out there somewhere. The outer ring is $14 but if you hit the bullseye you can charge 90 grand!
You should totally make one of those, or 4, you could customize the number.
This meteorite has a page long description of how magical it is, how it can make you laugh and drop your weapons, heal you, bla-bla-bla, this seller should really keep it for himself since it’s so multifunctional!
Yet he did go into the bother of writing such a long description which means he’s positive that someone might go for it. Which also means that this meteoshite can make you daft…
Why do I picture this seller with an aluminum foil hat?
maybe because he’s been exposed to his meteorite for too long?
I appreciate the subtle nod to llamas in the shitpic.
The necklace lady also has a mustache necklace and a chrysanthemum ring. I feel like she might be messing with us.
“METEORITE MONK-SCREAM HEAD OF COMET METEORITE WITH FACE OUTER SPACE ROCK MASCOT FROM URAUCU BRAZIL 3 KILO SACRED MAGIC CHANNEL ENTITY METEORITE PLUS FREE BONUS GENUINE THOMAS EDISON RECORDING FREE SHIPPING PERSONAL DELIVERY OR BEST OFFER.”
This sounds like Engrish from some sort of packaging.
Compare and safe is one of my favourite categories, and I can’t believe it’s only now that I paid attention to what the woman and child are so eagerly looking at on their screen…
YOU SAVE $10.33!
Um, what happened to the other dollar? 15 minus 3.67 is 11.33. Don’t hate, I have a math degree! I can’t help it!
Didn’t you know? Regretsy math is always warped…:)
Regretsy EVERYTHING is warped. That’s why I like it here.
“NEED MORE THEN ONE? WE DO CUSTOM QUANTITY ORDERS!”
Being able to purchase a specific number of something makes it a “custom quantity.” Really?
also, than. THAN.
You DO get a free crystal with the meteorite purchase…sooo…I would say that seals the deal.
well etsy got off its ass and removed the plate and other shit in that chicks shop plus dish and necklace
http://www.etsy.com/listing/71090720/dolce-toe-socks this is still up though.. the seller was selling an snuggie too. christ!
HA! I have that sugar jar.
With a price of 91,101.01, we’re left with only one inevitable conclusion, this is the meterorite that brought down the WTC! 9/11 was an Extra-terrestrial job!!!!
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