Keep Calm and Prosper
One of the great things about being a vibrant handmade cesspool is the way marginal ideas keep propagating.
If glitter is the herpes of the crafting world, then success is the hantavirus. As soon as something catches on, everyone jumps on the shitwagon and starts crapping out their own versions, made uniquely theirs by gluing a watch face on it. Eventually, Hot Topic starts making their own version in Taiwan, and the circle of fuckery is complete. It’s like I always say, “Handmade isn’t really handmade until you buy it at the mall.”
Since we’re so in the spirit of April Fools today, here’s a guessing game to play.
All of these posters are real, and on sale at Etsy. Well, all but one.
Can you guess which?
Click the image for the answer!
April 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm
Wow! My first guess was right!
April 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Woo hoo… I’m back and can reply. Thanks for fixing my account!!!
Course now that I’m here I don’t have anything to say but I can thumbs up under my own screen name again LOL
April 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm
That’s amazing… And what a stupid trend to follow.
April 1, 2011 at 10:11 pm
I only like one variation I saw – “Keep calm and aim for the head”.
April 2, 2011 at 2:27 am
Are you, like, THE overlord? I’m such a huge fan.
April 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm
it’s okay guys, just keep calm and drink on
April 1, 2011 at 5:34 pm
im stealing that err reselling “it’s okay guys, just keep calm and drink on”
April 1, 2011 at 7:17 pm
But remember to always drink responsibly.
I’m sure several of us have said something along these lines at some point. . . Charlie Sheen, I’m looking in your direction.
April 1, 2011 at 7:48 pm
Oh gawd, this is brilliant…r the vodka is kicking in. Either way, I love it!
April 2, 2011 at 10:01 am
I would buy that.
April 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm
I want a marker board that says
“KEEP
CALM
AND
_______”
Then I can decide afresh what I want to keep calm and do EVERY SINGLE DAY!
April 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm
I totally need to steal this idea.
April 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Hey, I can’t make marker boards! If you can, you’re welcome to it. Also, sell me one.
April 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Chalkboards! Hipsters will not be able to resist its power. Chalkboard paint + board + paint on “KEEP CALM AND” = $$$
April 1, 2011 at 6:08 pm
I think I willmake one as well…I will probably just buy a marker board and some of those letter stickers… Buy hand assembled?
April 1, 2011 at 8:07 pm
Anyone have a Cricut?
April 1, 2011 at 10:16 pm
1. Steal pithy quote
2. Buy chalkboard
3. Buy chalkboard paint
4. ????
5. profit!
Maybe we should put an octopus on it?
April 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm
If you make that, I will buy it!
April 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Or refrigerator word magnets.
April 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm
That’s what I was thinking!
April 1, 2011 at 6:27 pm
“KEEP CALM AND BUY MILK, EGGS AND BREAD BEFORE THE STORM HITS”
April 1, 2011 at 6:29 pm
“KEEP CALM AND RESEARCH PAPER IS DUE ON TUESDAY.”
And as the deadline got closer, the reminder to keep calm would be more and more relevant.
April 2, 2011 at 9:40 am
I want this:
JUST GO AHEAD AND LOSE YOUR SHIT
IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE BRITISH.
With a little circle and line over the crown. Or else something quintessentially American, like a Big Mac.
April 2, 2011 at 10:02 am
YES!
June 7, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Time to create an account on etsy?
April 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Lol, I love you April.
April 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Keep calm and quitcherbitchin, asshole.
I’d pay good money for that. Monopoly money.
April 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm
No, “Quityerbellachin!”
http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/17/sa-what/
April 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm
HAHAHA, you win this round!
April 1, 2011 at 8:08 pm
On barn wood no less…
April 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm
This one’s just a PDF and it’s three bucks!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/65956385/keep-calm-be-a-princess-printable-pdf
I could make it on Microsoft Paint, for fuck’s sake.
April 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm
To think, they took all that time to bootleg Photoshop to make these.
April 1, 2011 at 8:17 pm
like nobody else has any graphics software. *eyeroll*
April 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Wow! That cat one is ridiculous! Someone actually sells that??
On a side note, I saw an old lady wearing a keep calm and carry on necklace at work today. It has obviously gone too far!
April 2, 2011 at 8:58 am
Hobby Lobby sells them as pendants. Slap one on a pleather lace and it’s HANDMADE.
April 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm
For the sake of fuck.
April 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Got it in one! Although I almost picked the “Recite Om” one.
The “Keep Calm” thing makes me want to hurl stones at everything that moves. That’s why I made one. Because I believe in propagating violence.
April 1, 2011 at 10:02 pm
It’s true, she did. She gave it to us.
April 2, 2011 at 8:16 pm
I almost picked that one too because I thought that there was no way anyone but our fearless leader could think up that awesome up.
April 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm
“Keep calm and recite om” actually got a laugh out of me. This trend is so stale though.
April 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm
I agree; that one actually gave me a chuckle. Am I missing something, though? The first one and the last one are exactly the same. Just me, huh?
April 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm
How dare you use my likeness on your merchandise without permission!!! Don’t make me go all legal on you!!!
April 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Hey….wait a second… who’s likeness?
April 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm
SHIT JUST GOT REAL
April 2, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Layer up, pal.
April 1, 2011 at 5:06 pm
It was just a standard head swap…
April 1, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Can I leave this treasury here? I was wondering if there were any really cool steampunk octopi on etsy, and found these guys. They’re all original (as far as I can tell) and have been totally buried by *that* steampunk octopus.
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d96658f10378eefec08063d/steampunk-octopus?index=1
(And no, I’m not a seller or related to these guys in any way.)
April 1, 2011 at 9:17 pm
That is SO awesome.
April 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Nice! I actually like “Recite OM”. Does that make me a bad person?
April 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm
The first one looks identical to one sold at Target that’s something along the lines of Keep Calm and Relax, color, crown, and all.
April 1, 2011 at 6:44 pm
I remember having those at my Target last summer. No one bought them, even on clearance. Why are they so popular now?
April 1, 2011 at 8:38 pm
I don’t know, we actually had them at our location this year too, but we salvaged out quite a few since no one bought them even at 75% off. People rarely buy the artwork though since it’s overpriced and shitty for the most part.
April 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Good lord, the only one to get the font correct is April. And these people call themselves designers! For shame. Keep Calm and Download Free Fonts On!
PS, I saw the “original” poster at Target today.
April 1, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Thank you Mistress Panose, may I have another?
April 2, 2011 at 3:58 am
I <3 font geekery.
And another vote for the Om.
April 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Can I get one that says, “Keep Calm and Carry a Big Stick”?
April 2, 2011 at 7:37 am
what about ” Keep Calm and Look at My Big Dick”?
April 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Okay, I’m kind of diggin the RECITE OM one.
But seriously, that baseball one is ridiculous. Actually all of them are. Can’t they at least use the original font?
April 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Keep Calm and Let Rob Kalin Prosper. Did you see the Inc. article about his million dollar fleamarket?
April 2, 2011 at 1:12 am
Smuggy hipster sure is smug.
April 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm
I have a plaque that says “Put on a little lipstick, you’ll be fine.” I guess I could’ve made one like this, but I like it in tacky ceramic.
April 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Easy peasy lemon squeezy to guess that one!
April 1, 2011 at 4:17 pm
omg you hit it the nail right on the head. I’m SO sick of seeing this goddamned poster!!! It makes me want to scream and pull all my hair out. the end.
April 1, 2011 at 5:20 pm
As the years go by, it’s getting more and more difficult to keep up the calm.
Of course, 1 year normal time is like 3 years Etsy (or hipster) time.
Their trends last FOREVER!
April 2, 2011 at 1:17 am
That’s what’s bothersome. They sure take the “carry on” part a bit too serious.
April 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm
In the time it takes me to think of something clever to type, 45 comments will have been posted. So it looks like I’m stuck with this.
I really made this one count.
April 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Wow. Some of these artists don’t even bother to make sure the text is centered nicely.
Copying is hard work!!
April 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm
I’m sick of seeing it, but original ideas are too much work! I went to the NY gift show last fall and versions of the original were everywhere, even in the handmade section. Really? These are nationally recognized, successful crafters…
April 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Years ago, I was working at a very nice hotel, and we had just had the Information book for guests reprinted at great expense. All 500 copies included in large, bold letters the first emergency instruction “Remain Clam”.
April 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Nothing clamer than a clam. Good advice.
April 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Remain Clam, I LIKE it, think I’ll have a Tshirt made!:-D
April 1, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Better make it a Mussel shirt (See below)
April 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm
“Keep Clam and Mussel On”.
April 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm
ok I laughed out loud and peed a little at that, thank you, now I have to go change my pyjamas before bed!
April 1, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Love.
April 1, 2011 at 7:54 pm
LeeLoo, you are marvelous!
April 1, 2011 at 8:20 pm
You know, I thought of posting this exact thing, but decided to read through the comments first.
This always happens to me.
I guess I’ll just have to keep calm and be a princess.
April 2, 2011 at 9:46 am
I know a seafood shack that should have that poster, right in between the doors to the Gulls and Buoys rooms.
April 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Yeah the cupcake one has been at Target for 3 months at least. CIRCLE OF FUCKERY COMPLETE.
April 1, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Aha I knew I’d seen that one before! I kept telling myself though that Target wouldn’t even carry something that dumb… and we carry some weird shit.
April 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm
Really, do I have to guess?
April 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Did you click?
April 1, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Just for that, I’m buying your shirt and reselling it on Etsy.
April 1, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Hover (like you’re in a truck stop bathroom); the link will show in your status bar. You can see which ones are Etsy listings
April 1, 2011 at 11:00 pm
I didn’t have to.
Okay, I did, but only after I posted the comment. But really, only one of those is un-etsyable, because the nice people would come after its seller with every hipster pitchfork they could muster.
April 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm
The baseball one makes no sense. That’s like saying, “Keep calm and play Mario Kart.” Not possible. Someone always gets yelled at.
The Recite Om one did make me laugh though. Of course the multipurpose octopus would be the image of the resellers.
April 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Or beaten with the wheel.
April 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm
*snarfle*
That was toooo easy!
April 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm
According to Wikipedia, the original poster was only rediscovered in 2000. It saddens me that just over a decade later, it has already been ruined forever.
Wikipedia also notes that although it was created in 1939, the poster was “little known and never used” during the war.
April 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm
I believe it was never used because the original idea was to distribute them in the event that Germany successfully invaded England. Since that never happened, it was never distributed. I think it gained a lot of popularity in the U.S. by being used in reference to the recession.
Because, you know, not getting a bank loan is totally the same as Nazi invasion…
April 1, 2011 at 8:23 pm
that was to prepare us for the rise of fascism in the US, before “yes we can”
April 1, 2011 at 10:47 pm
I thought it was scrapped because it was a stupid idea to begin with. But that’s just me being a hipster. I hated it before hating it was cool.
April 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm
And to think, now we want to declare war on crafters because of it. The circle of life.
April 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Nothing like being original!
I hate seeing stuff like this, not only because it’s not really unique or that creative, but because none of them are going to do the original image justice.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keep_Calm_And_Carry_On
April 1, 2011 at 8:24 pm
That’s because you have to actually PAY for the Helvetica typeface. Arial comes with Windows.
April 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I was in Williamsburg today and a hipster had a bag like this. The bitch had no idea what the bag is about.
April 1, 2011 at 8:25 pm
Did the bag say KEEP CALM and CARRY THIS?
April 2, 2011 at 11:10 pm
OK, now I really want a bag that says “KEEP CALM AND CARRY YOUR STUFF IN ME”
April 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Is it sad that out of all of these, the only one I would buy is the damned octopus one?
April 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm
You’re in luck! Click on it
April 1, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Fucking. Awesome.
April 1, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 1, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Seems a few bitches didn’t get it right. And don’t appreciate having their noses rubbed in it.
AW
April 2, 2011 at 4:46 am
Or maybe they don’t care for misappropriation of the word, “to” when the intended homonym of the hour ought to have been, “too.”
April 3, 2011 at 12:48 am
AWWWW
April 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Those posters do not “enhance my calm” but your poster is funny as hell.
P.S. I had a treasury removed by admin today at Etsy along with their sugar syrupy email kindly warning me not to make treasuries like that one again.
I told them they were so hilarious they make my head hurt.
April 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm
It must have been a goodie. What did I miss?
April 1, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Why, what was in it? Buttplugs and photos of children?
April 1, 2011 at 4:25 pm
Isn’t the original “Keep Calm and Carry On” – the poster they used during WWII in London?
The recite Om one made me happy, but I’m Buddhist, so it works
April 1, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Yes and no. The original poster was intended to be used in the event of a Gernan occupation, so it was never widely distributed.
April 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
ah! Thanks
April 1, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Thanks for the info. I figured it was from the Blitz.
April 1, 2011 at 9:18 pm
I read somewhere they hung the posters up in offices of parliament and in war planning rooms to keep up morale, however I don’t know if that is true or not. But an awesome piece of history, and a shame it’s become so viral.
April 1, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Yeah how about ‘Keep Calm, Asshole -We’re Not In WWII’
April 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Wasn’t the original propaganda saying “pretend the war isn’t happening”?
The irony in its popularity among etsy-trash is palpable.
This is the only one I’ve ever liked, and it’s still stupid.
April 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Hey now!
April 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Derp, that wasn’t the one I made. Mine had a vulture. And I did one with a carrion beetle for a special request. I think Una did that one first.
April 1, 2011 at 6:33 pm
I actually liked that one. Sorry; I am a fat pathetic loser.
April 1, 2011 at 8:38 pm
I. LOVE. THIS.
but then I also love ravens/crows in general… soooo that could just be me.
April 5, 2011 at 5:00 pm
This is my fave, and with permission, I’d like to use it as my profile pic. Maybe throw it up on Twitpic too. Do ya mind?
April 1, 2011 at 4:28 pm
“Keep calm and vicodin on”. I’d buy it.
April 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I know that was horrible. I apologize. Next time I won’t try to be funny/witty when I am having a bad pain day. But the rest of you Regretsian loves made me laugh! Keep up the good work!
April 1, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I have a “Keep Calm and Eat a Cupcake” bookmark I bought from B&N after the first round of “Keep Calm” posts started.
April 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm
I was missing “Keep Calm And Say What?”.
April 1, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Here you go. I made this for you.
April 2, 2011 at 4:54 am
Thanks, that’s my absolute favourite!
April 2, 2011 at 6:59 am
Love it:)
April 3, 2011 at 11:05 am
Lady P, you’re welcome. Took me all of 5 minutes. Maybe I should start selling inkjet prints for $18 in my etsy store! Pure profit.
April 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Too easy. But honestly, “Keep Calm By Reading Your Bible?” Take mildly humorous meme, wring all humor out, insert serious message. The youngsters will be all over it.
April 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm
and no need to rhyme, obviously.
April 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm
They may as well have said “Keep Calm and Read Chaucer” for all the good it did to the meter.
April 1, 2011 at 6:52 pm
There is nothing calming about reading Chaucer. Only brain spasms.
I clicked the link to Etsy, and I must say I love the “we’re buggered now” poster. And the “say om” made me laugh a bit.
April 1, 2011 at 7:08 pm
They think it makes them hip, really it just shows how unhip they are. At least some of the others got the idea, even if they weren’t very witty.
April 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Keep calm and copy on, I guess!
April 1, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Yeah, I was thinking Keep Calm, and Copy/Paste…
April 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Is anyone else reminded by these posters of the cover of the HitchikerMs guide to the galaxy with DON’T PANIC on the cover in a bright friendly yellow color?
April 1, 2011 at 8:27 pm
And you beat me to THIS punchline, too.
April 1, 2011 at 10:51 pm
April 1, 2011 at 11:11 pm
. . .I would actually buy this. On a towel. Maybe if it had a babelfish at the top?
April 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm
I smell a treasury!
April 1, 2011 at 4:55 pm
But, can you change the SIZE of that smell?
April 1, 2011 at 5:03 pm
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d955c6c31268eef27e19de5/keep-calm-and-carry-on
made this yesterday, coincidence? I think not
April 1, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Johnny, they’re asking that April’s Army members not make this kind of treasury. It could get us in trouble as a group.
April 2, 2011 at 7:42 am
it’s not tagged with anything related to april, or the army. They’d have to search my profile to find out I’m even on the team. And they would probably have to put down the mustache and cup of earl grey to do so…
April 1, 2011 at 5:12 pm
Is this what you were thinking of?
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d9669962b696d919f47e0d8/keep-calm
April 1, 2011 at 10:33 pm
I’m not gonna lie, I kind of like the idea of the “get excited and make things” one. Of course, I would have put a much naughtier picture at the top…
April 2, 2011 at 4:12 am
Oh dear, there’s a moustache one.
April 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
I’d like to attach a post-it-note to each one of them that says, “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” I’m still channeling teenage angst, it matches my emo haircut.
April 1, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I triple dog dare someone to make a treasury
April 1, 2011 at 5:05 pm
see comment thread #44
April 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Keep Calm and add your non-biodegradable, toxic vinyl decal to the local landfill. By the millions – thanks to Etsy.
April 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm
I actually like this one:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/28793019/bloody-hell-were-buggered-now-keep-calm
April 1, 2011 at 5:24 pm
That shirt lowered my skyrocketing blood pressure enough to keep be from having an aneurism. Thank you.
April 1, 2011 at 5:43 pm
I favorited that shop.
April 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm
This, I like. Some idiot seeing a wartime poster and deciding to turn it into an ill-designed copy about cupcakes makes me want to scream.
April 1, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Now *that* is a phrase I can get behind!
April 1, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Brilliant. I’m too cowardly to wear it, or I’d buy that shirt.
April 4, 2011 at 5:01 pm
I went and bought it, we’ll see if it see use outside a nightshirt. Maybe to a Ren Faire.
April 1, 2011 at 9:08 pm
THAT is the only one that wins.
April 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm
I was hoping to see one with Sarah Jessica Parker’s head on it. Keep Calm and Carrie on.
Also, apparently “Hello” “etsy” “mac” and “mommy” are verbs now.
April 1, 2011 at 4:56 pm
Martini first, then keep calm.
I have my priorities in order.
April 1, 2011 at 5:01 pm
These are my favorites:
But I’m a huge dork at heart.
April 1, 2011 at 5:03 pm
I was just thinking someone should make a PANIC one.
April 1, 2011 at 6:43 pm
I have it on a t-shirt (from threadless) and I wear it at the end of every semester or around portfolio reviews.
April 1, 2011 at 8:29 pm
does that one have a disco ball at the top?
April 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm
*looks furtive* It’s possible that I made one which reads Keep Calm and Text Sherlock.
April 1, 2011 at 11:13 pm
I LOVE THAT ONE zOMG. It’s possible I sometimes use it as one of my avs on LJ
April 1, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Love the Get Excited and Make things from Matt Jones (available under creative commons) http://www.flickr.com/photos/blackbeltjones/3365682994/
Also, elsewhere on the internet…
April 1, 2011 at 7:37 pm
Yay! My favorite ep and Doctor too!
April 1, 2011 at 10:38 pm
‘;sfdkjns ;dgjklas;el; WANT WANT WANT.
That is my favorite episode EVER. I get creeped out just thinking about it.
April 1, 2011 at 5:24 pm
I do enjoy the panic and freak out one!!! I think it’s miles cleverer than the hordes of “and _____ on” knockoffs.
Also, I’m partial to the cupcake one, since it was the first parody I saw, and also it describes my personal philosophy pretty accurately.
April 1, 2011 at 6:19 pm
I saw coffee mugs with the “Now Panic” design. I didn’t want to pay shipping from the UK, but now it looks like they have some here in the States.
I guess the trendy hipsters aren’t old enough to remember the “Carry On” movies?
April 1, 2011 at 5:01 pm
April 1, 2011 at 7:14 pm
Are you selling these prints? I have a friend who’s an ironically political hipster AND a Donnie Darko/Andy Warhol fan whose birthday is coming up.
April 1, 2011 at 8:36 pm
I’ll sell them once I make “One-of-a-Kind” Octopus-covered frames for them
April 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm
I haven’t made a treasury at all since they started the new kind. I’m sure by the time I get over there, someone else will have done it already, though.
April 1, 2011 at 5:07 pm
I can’t even get to the treasury page. Did all the protest treasuries break it? Or did Etsy just get so pissed that they took it all down?
April 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm
No, it’s working. It’s just acting wonky.
April 1, 2011 at 5:13 pm
I confess that I have one with a vector of the Sorting Hat above Keep Calm and Carry A Wand.
April 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm
April 1, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Wingardium Leviosa!
April 1, 2011 at 6:06 pm
Do you have one with the scarf of sexual preference?
April 1, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 1, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I’m comforted that I’m not the only one freaking out because people are bad at ripping things off!
April 1, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Ugh. I think the thing people are forgetting when they knock off a clever slogan is that it is a slogan. They have rules that make them memorable. You can keep calm and do whatever the fuck you want, but if you’re spoofing the original, it should at least pay proper homage to the original.
April 1, 2011 at 7:54 pm
You’re dead on there. There is a difference between “parody” and “randomly changing something popular”.
April 1, 2011 at 5:16 pm
The sun never sets on Fuckery.
April 1, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I’m gonna make a lunchbox that says “Keep Calm and Carry Noms.”
April 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm
I want this real bad.
April 5, 2011 at 10:44 am
Seriously, I will buy this.
April 1, 2011 at 5:17 pm
What happened to keep calm and rub it till it goes soft?????
April 1, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Doesn’t actually work right if you’re calm.
April 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm
How did this Keep Calm thing even get started?
April 1, 2011 at 5:27 pm
It was a poster created in Britain during WWII to encourage citizens to … be British, basically.
Endure with a stiff upper lip, ladies and gentlemen. It was never produced, but the template was discovered in 2000.
April 1, 2011 at 6:22 pm
http://www.keepcalmandcarryon.com/pages/history
The first poster in the series was “Your Courage, Your Cheerfulness, Your Resolution Will Bring Us Victory.” The second was “Freedom is in Peril.”
They produced “Keep Calm and Carry On” posters, but only a few were ever put on display. (There’s a picture on the web site above showing a decaying poster on a brick wall, as though it had been there for years. Frankly, that’s revisionist to the point of steampunk.)
April 1, 2011 at 6:36 pm
^^ What Maple said.
April 2, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Aw hell, we’re learning again…
April 1, 2011 at 6:22 pm
And they spelled “stationery” incorrectly.
April 1, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Weeell…
I sincerely hope their product is “not moving”
April 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Keep calm and pass the ammunition.
April 1, 2011 at 10:43 pm
Is this one for putting in post-apocalyptic zombie bunkers?
April 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Thanks for thumbs downing my rage.
BTW, Helen’s slant rhymes so it’s safe.
Yeesh.
April 1, 2011 at 5:39 pm
KEEP RAGING AND RHYMING ON
April 1, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Your icon looks pretty ranty so what’re ya gonna do?
April 1, 2011 at 5:33 pm
I was hoping there was an actual “Keep Calm and Prosper” item, with the Vulcan hand thing in place of the crown. I was disappointed at first, but then I googled it and there is indeed such an item.
April 1, 2011 at 5:33 pm
April 1, 2011 at 5:34 pm
God, they just keep getting uglier. I mean, I could bitch about fonts plenty here, but really, do people not even realize that there is a difference between all uppercase lettering and not? And that it kind of matters to your design? And that if you’re trying to rip something off accurately you could at least pay attention to that, even if you don’t know a Didot from a dingbat??
Okay, so, all these ripoffs are pretty bad. But somehow just stealing the idea of something, and warping it through your shitty design sense to make it hideous, seems worse to me than an obvious parody of a well-known original.
There’s a slight possibility I’m getting too worked up about this? I can’t help it! I’m offended by bad design!!!
April 1, 2011 at 8:36 pm
FONTS ALWAYS MAKE ME ANGRY! COMIC SANS SMAAAAAAASHHHHHH
April 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm
I was busy making the offering below in my artistic ability while you were busy smashing.
April 1, 2011 at 8:45 pm
Here, this should help:
April 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm
Here, I wasn’t paying good attention. This one’s better.
April 1, 2011 at 9:37 pm
AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHGGHHHHHHH
April 4, 2011 at 10:33 pm
OMG I LOVE YOU. And yet…. I have the urge… to SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHHHHHH
April 1, 2011 at 5:38 pm
The Hello Kitty one is the most annoying to me, because it makes no sense. The other ones are trite, but at least they’re actual sentences! You can keep calm and play baseball. You can keep calm and drink a fucking diet beverage. Those are both comprehensive sentences with verbs. But you can’t keep calm and Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty is not a verb!
April 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm
I was once Hello Kittied by a drifter in an alley. DON’T TELL ME TO KEEP CALM.
April 1, 2011 at 5:49 pm
So see, mooples? it is TOO a verb.
April 1, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Some nice fella Hello Kittied me once. It was dreeeeeamy.
April 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Batshit: Nice fellas NEVER Hello Kitty.
April 2, 2011 at 9:39 pm
I haven’t Hello Kittied since I met a girl who likes tiramisu.
April 1, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Maybe it was inspired by a real life event. Like the crafter was on the phone with her friend:
Crafter: Keep calm and, (cat headbutts the back of her leg) oof, hello kitty. So anyway, just keep calm and tell me what he said.
April 1, 2011 at 5:55 pm
It is the hope of the seller that every Hello Kitty fan is so into Hello Kitty that they won’t pay attention that it makes no sense.
Hell-o, you could just do a treasury of crappy Hello Kitty stuff that people hope will sell just by having that damn cat on it.
April 1, 2011 at 6:03 pm
Well, when I lived in Sydney you could buy so much Hello Kitty stuff with incorrect translations it wasn’t funny…I even have (as much as I hate to admit it) a Hello Kitty umbrella that says ‘Best ishes”.
April 1, 2011 at 7:36 pm
You wouldn’t want any inferior ishes, that’s for sure. I had to go to a doctor for that.
April 5, 2011 at 11:04 am
Challenge Accepted
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d9b5935186d6d9125913032/ello-kitty
April 6, 2011 at 11:47 am
I love the “thanks for including my item” replies. The point, you have missed it.
April 1, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Who actually cares enough about Diet Coke to do that?! People make my brain ache.
April 1, 2011 at 6:31 pm
I have a brother-in-law and a best friend who both care enough about Diet Coke to buy that poster. I am properly ashamed of them.
April 1, 2011 at 6:32 pm
My friend does. She made a facebook group about her love for Diet Coke. But yeah, that’s a stupid poster.
April 1, 2011 at 8:34 pm
I just heard a comedian last night say that her mother told her “Whatever you think about the most, that’s your religion.” Or something like that, so she responded, “Open your Diet Coke and open to page 36 in your People magazine!”
I thought it was funny, but I’m not going to make it into a poster.
April 1, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Oh. Well then my religion is taking a nap on the couch. Can I get a witness?
April 1, 2011 at 5:52 pm
Just noticed in the comments that (with a few exceptions), the number of thumbs-up on nearly all of the comments went down from one refresh to the next. Me thinks some of the Etsy Mustache zombies may be trolling and voting down anything too whimsickle for their sculpted vajayjay hearts to take (or anything funny).
Or maybe Etsy has turned me into a paranoid freak. Or it could be tonight’s pain meds. This is also a possibility.
April 1, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Sometimes I’ll thumbs-up something and in the time since the last refresh a lot of other people have done it, so the number jumps by four or five.
Other times, I’ll thumbs-up a whole row of posts and the number doesn’t change, because someone went through and thumbs-downed every post.
Can we get a poster that says “put on your big girl panties and get over it?”
April 1, 2011 at 8:43 pm
I liked these:
April 1, 2011 at 8:48 pm
my big girl panties don’t look like that.
April 1, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Mine either, but maybe they thought granny panties (what I wear, not what I’m implying you wear) weren’t quite so cute.
April 2, 2011 at 5:03 am
If someone is selling those patterns they are infringin original designers copyright most likely.
Those are cross stitch freebies from completely another site than ETsy…
April 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm
“Keep Calm and be a Princess” makes me want to vomit. If you’re past puberty it’s time to drop the princess crap.
It’s also annoying that all she’s selling is a PDF that will probably print rather poorly on most home printers as it’s pretty much a solid block of color.
April 1, 2011 at 8:49 pm
We are not amused.
April 1, 2011 at 6:00 pm
I must admit I kind of like this version I saw on threadbanger or something a while ago:
http://www.writeclickscrapbook.com/.a/6a0115703fdafe970b0120a5dc9c17970c-800wi
April 1, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 1, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Here’s one I made for fun. If you get it: I LOVE YOU.
April 1, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Ah, good old queen Vic!
April 1, 2011 at 8:34 pm
It wasn’t Queen Victoria though. No one’s really sure where it came from, but Vicky was supposed to have been pretty happily married, as Victorian Era wives went.
April 1, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Marry me!
Although for some reason I remember it as ‘Close your eyes and think of England’, but teh beers is makes my brainsies fuzzy.
April 1, 2011 at 8:26 pm
I will marry you! *twirls*
I remember hearing in in High School during an abstinence lecture!
April 2, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Being a dedicated pony I am, here’s Serious Research Results:
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/close-your-eyes-and-think-of-england.html
I would still like one for my bedroom, though
April 3, 2011 at 12:13 am
Both are valid
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie_back_and_think_of_England
April 1, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Love you right back.
April 1, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Sadly, I cannot thumbs-up that the jillion times that it deserves.
April 1, 2011 at 9:11 pm
That line was used in an episode of Jonathan Creek during a rectal exam.
April 1, 2011 at 10:47 pm
THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS
April 2, 2011 at 1:09 am
I have this hanging above my bed…
April 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I get it. And I love YOU.
April 1, 2011 at 6:25 pm
“Keep Calm and Carry On” still makes a certain amount of sense 70 years later (not that I condone the widespread unoriginality in copying the image). Somehow I doubt “Keep Calm and Tweet On” will have the same lasting power.
Keep Whimsicle and Make Fuckery?
April 1, 2011 at 6:30 pm
I was just
bitchingcomplainingtalking about these damn posters over on the forums yesterday … People can take ANYTHING and grind it into the ground, can’t they? Yeesh! The numbskullery behind most of these iterations is brain melting. Not only is the original design (rather nice, in my opinion) now overused/overexposed, but these idiots have stripped it of all meaning, tacking their own halfwit slogans on with no regard to what the thing was saying in the first place. Keep Calm and Eat a Cupcake? How about Keep Calm and Shut the Fuck Up About Your Dumbass Cupcakes Because We’ve Just Been Invaded You Halfwit? No? That wouldn’t look nice in the treasuries? Yeah, I guess not.These posters (except for April’s which is the only one that even looks like it was correctly designed) deserve a big resounding BLAM THIS PIECE OF CRAP!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z2Z23SAFVA
April 2, 2011 at 6:06 am
Most excellent rant.
Such a shame, really. The original poster was terrific. Elegant, brave sentiment for a terrible time in British history.
….But this fucking bandwagon is groaning under the weight of it’s garbage.
April 1, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Keep calm and pokemon!
(What? I’m almost at the Elite Four.)
April 1, 2011 at 6:40 pm
FFS. Because of this post, I both want a Spock “Live Long and Carry On” poster AND hate myself for it. (I’ll substitute with rum and find all new reasons to hate myself.)
April 1, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Dear Diary,
Today, I made the Internet an even worse place. I made this happen in my artistic ability!
April 1, 2011 at 6:41 pm
I’m so uncool, I actually like all of these
I feel like a looser now.
April 1, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Loser… Gosh. Looser makes me think of Goatse
And I’m certainly not that talented down there.
April 1, 2011 at 6:49 pm
Keep Calm and think of England
April 1, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Blegh. Keep calm and murder typography. I can’t even look at most of these without getting nauseous.
/end snobbydesignerrant
April 1, 2011 at 6:44 pm
even Barnes and Noble has them now…
April 1, 2011 at 6:50 pm
I was starting to panic until the last poster came up. My brain was doing hamster wheel circles of “Oh, that one is stupid! But wait, I think someone would do that. Maybe…this one? But this one is terrible too! Oh, my god, what if I can’t tell!!” Then, with a feeling of relief, “Oh, of course, that one!” But then came the horrible realization that all the others were real.
April 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Someone needs to do a “Keep Calm and Go Shopping” poster. At least that would be more current.
April 1, 2011 at 8:02 pm
Whoah man! Yeah, actually modernize the SAME message, rather than making a trite quip… original thinking!
April 1, 2011 at 9:16 pm
You’re in luck, there is one on Etsy:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64712057/keep-calm-and-shop-on-print-8×10?ref=sr_list_20&ga_search_query=keep+calm+poster&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=
April 1, 2011 at 10:50 pm
This makes me inexplicably sad and angry all at the same time.
April 1, 2011 at 7:01 pm
The only time I ever think this saying would be helpful is when I am traveling by plane. I would want a luggage tag that read “Keep Calm and Carry On” to remind me to be nice to airline employees and never to pack enough that I have to check a bag.
April 1, 2011 at 7:01 pm
I do like this one
April 1, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Damn, sorry for the size on this. I swear I put a width= in there. It worked in the preview.
April 1, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Who cares, this deserves to be large. Well done.
April 1, 2011 at 7:42 pm
It’s from here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/bbmstv/keep-calm-and-fuck-off-sia
April 1, 2011 at 7:07 pm
Definitely my favorite!
April 1, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I know it’s been done but my son wanted to make this one:
<img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LQEcMt5C7IE/TZaDCrF4B_I/AAAAAAAAAKw/ByDAOY7zsQo/s320/MUSTACHE.jpg"/
April 1, 2011 at 7:07 pm
I think you mean http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LQEcMt5C7IE/TZaDCrF4B_I/AAAAAAAAAKw/ByDAOY7zsQo/s320/MUSTACHE.jpg
April 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I know it’s been done but my son wanted to make this one:
OOPs…. I forgot the “>”
Sorry!
April 1, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Keep Calm And HTML On
April 1, 2011 at 7:42 pm
awesome! I’d buy this
April 1, 2011 at 7:10 pm
When I see these posters everywhere (especially being around the artsy area of my downtown a lot) I actually get angry.
I fucking hate the original posters. I think the only decent ones I’ve seen are here in the comments.
April 1, 2011 at 7:11 pm
My favourite one was posted on Tumblr: Keep Calm and Expecto Patronum
April 1, 2011 at 7:11 pm
As I once learned from a movie: If you make it, they will buy it.
April 1, 2011 at 7:21 pm
It’s like those damn “Got _____?” stickers that people still put on their cars.
I did see one a few years back that made me laugh: “Got twins?” I’m sure the car belonged to proud parents of twins but of course my mind immediately went to a dirty place…
April 1, 2011 at 7:50 pm
KEEP CALM
AND
NO MORE DOLLARS FOR GINGER.
April 1, 2011 at 7:53 pm
i want a cross stitch that says:
Keep Calm
and
DUH!
Winning!
April 1, 2011 at 7:55 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 1, 2011 at 8:01 pm
Goddamn, I’ve got time on my hands tonight:
April 1, 2011 at 8:03 pm
Okay, that didn’t work at all. Have a link instead:
http://www.corpselight.net/stuff/Bugger-Off.jpg
April 1, 2011 at 8:01 pm
I like this one from urbanthreads.com:
April 1, 2011 at 8:04 pm
That actually IS adorable!
April 2, 2011 at 12:45 am
And hey, it even rhymes if you’re saying it properly. That is, if you’re saying it with an English accent.
April 1, 2011 at 8:10 pm
I’d make a sign that said
EAT
A
CUPCAKE
AND
FUCK
OFF
but I’m too lazy.
I did make a treasury of unique special Etsy handcrafted jewelry and am totally amazed that it’s still up.
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d95d90eb9416d91c72da89a/the-sweet-smell-of-resell?ref=pr_treasury
April 1, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Here is a visual representation of this idea. Maybe you’ve seen it already…
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=epic
April 1, 2011 at 8:30 pm
There should be one that says “Keep Calm and Carry.” The NRA crowd would love it.
April 1, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Keep Calm and Carry Arms?
April 1, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Okay the brasstotallyhandmadevintagesteampunkoctopussy is hilarious. But I have to speak for jewelry makers. We sometimes buy mass produced shit and stick it to other shit to make it into new shit. Some of us are better than others at this. So just you know… consider that. BUT anyone claiming they MADE that octopus, on the other hand, we should target mercilessly.
April 1, 2011 at 8:45 pm
for those of us who mean fuckin business.
April 1, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Ok, this one has the right, and firepower to not rhyme. xD <3
April 2, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Oh wow I laughed so hard I choked on air well done!
April 1, 2011 at 8:46 pm
The only one I really like is on subversivecrossstitch.com
April 1, 2011 at 9:06 pm
“In association with the Coalition Government.” Tee hee.
April 1, 2011 at 8:52 pm
it’s worse than every artist being required to draw their own tarot deck.
Although I quite like the photographs of butterfly wings that spell the alphabet and the numbers 1-9
April 1, 2011 at 10:11 pm
Oh God. I dated an artist who made her own Tarot deck. Worst six months of my life. She talked about it constantly. I wanted to choke her and yell “enough with the goddman Tarot deck”.
April 1, 2011 at 9:09 pm
Keep Calm? KEEP CALM??? *YOU* keep calm, bitchez!!!! I’m on my man-period and OUTTTTT OF VODKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. OH WAIT. Here’ssome. Carry on regretsyawesomes. FUCKERY.
April 2, 2011 at 11:09 am
Um. So I may or may not have been drunk last night when I wrote that.
April 1, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Keep Calm and Meme On?
April 1, 2011 at 9:32 pm
http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/
Squee!
April 1, 2011 at 9:35 pm
April 1, 2011 at 9:40 pm
OK, last one (from me, anyway):
April 1, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Someone is having far too much fun with that generator â™”
April 1, 2011 at 10:16 pm
I am SO printing off “Change the Size of your Smell” and hanging it on the wall above my desk…
April 5, 2011 at 7:30 pm
In case of a really big scent you can use it multipurpose!
April 1, 2011 at 10:16 pm
How can you keep calm while reading the Bible? “Believe that virgins have babies or I’ll throw your ass in a lake of fire”. It’s like having bipolar parents who will kick your ass because you can’t see their hallucinations. I’ll just be cowering in the corner until the meds kick in.
April 1, 2011 at 10:21 pm
You mean my son really can’t see the pink bunnies?
April 1, 2011 at 10:44 pm
It’s my understanding that it was a war time poster in Britain and the copyright expired within the past few years.
I bought two posters from thekeepcalmshop. One was keep calm and write on and the other was just the regular keep calm and carry on that I gave to me mom. They are excellent quality.
That said…enough already. Some are really fun and clever but that baseball one? That is god awful! And the cat one. If you’re going to do it…do it right for god’s sake!!
April 1, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Some are really cute and others are just awful. I think the biggest problem most people have is that they are every-frickin-where.
I had the same problem with “Friends.” That show just stayed on the air year after year while I was completely over it after two seasons.
April 2, 2011 at 8:43 am
regretsy did it right!
April 1, 2011 at 10:46 pm
From the name of the shop to the merchandise within, this is one of my Etsy favorites:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/SadLittleCrown
If you can’t be bothered with the link, here are the variations of Keep Calm that they offer:
- Act Hysterical and Give Up
- Become Despondent and Lose Hope
- Fling Yourself on the Bed and Sob Uncontrollably
I love them.
April 1, 2011 at 10:52 pm
This is addictive….
April 1, 2011 at 11:02 pm
I’d like to see a Keep Calm poster somehow combined with the nazi helmet. Like Keep Calm and shoot fuckers wearing this helmet.
April 1, 2011 at 11:19 pm
April 1, 2011 at 11:27 pm
Undead Nazis? Are they riding dinosaurs? Ohgod, it just keeps getting worse.
April 1, 2011 at 11:04 pm
Isn’t being a princess the OPPOSITE of keeping calm? Generally, when I think of “princesses” I think of epic (you’re welcome, bokononista) tantrums over wanting a dress in bubblegum pink, not strawberry pink and you’re the worst daddy in the world, why don’t you love me, if you loved me you would have gotten the right color I hate you I hate you I hate you. and then throwing herself on the floor, kicking, screaming and holding her breath until she turns blue and passes out.
Remind me to never have children.
April 1, 2011 at 11:16 pm
April 1, 2011 at 11:19 pm
April 2, 2011 at 4:26 am
I don’t have photoshop at home, or I would have made a poster that says:
Keep Calm
or
Flounce Off
I think it should be the Regretsy motto.
April 2, 2011 at 7:03 am
See post 103. You can create one online.
April 2, 2011 at 7:02 am
Keep calm. It only takes 90 second to figure out what Admins fave, copy it, copy it in massive quants., drape in on a sad hipster, price it way below cost, and wait for Admins to ask you to be the next FS.
Etsy developed such a lazy, uncreative, bottom feeder-simple forumula for mass copying (below cost) that it makes you wonder what they have left to do in any 6-hr workday.
Let’s cram the T-list and give them what they ask for!
April 2, 2011 at 7:08 am
April 2, 2011 at 10:59 am
I think you mean “Keep calm and regrest rien.”
April 2, 2011 at 7:15 am
I was shocked to see some of these type of prints selling like hot pancakes… Maybe myself I should stop painting and instead type, type, type – I would surely make more money doing that:)
My favourite that I’ve seen on etsy is keep calm and carry an axe.
April 2, 2011 at 7:49 am
All this keep calm shit, gives me anxiety. Sensory overload of lameness.
April 2, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Now even your fucking boo boos can follow the trend.
April 2, 2011 at 9:29 pm
I like it.
April 2, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Keep calm and your pants on.
April 2, 2011 at 10:40 pm
*Slowly puts on pants*
You must have eyes in the back of your head.
April 3, 2011 at 12:59 am
April 3, 2011 at 8:09 am
Did you make that? Love it.
April 3, 2011 at 8:28 am
spank you, I sure did, using the handy dandy generator. i am so crafty!
April 3, 2011 at 7:25 am
April 4, 2011 at 11:51 am
I haven’t read all 333 comments, so I don’t know if it’s been said, but the cupcake one looks strangely like the Johnny Cupcakes logo… minus the crossbones.
Hooray for
stealing and copyright infringementoriginality!April 5, 2011 at 8:00 am
April 7, 2011 at 4:10 pm
KEEP CALM…
… AND SAKE BOMB
… AND EXTREME COUPON
… AND GO TO AL-ANON
… AND WEAR CHIFFON
… YOU MORON
… AND CARRY TAMPON (POTENTIAL NEW TAMPAX AD)
… AND TAKE DARVON
OK, enough fun with the rhyming dictionary
April 13, 2011 at 12:46 am
This girl in my class has one of the actual posters on her binder. I had to try so hard not to bust out laughing.
June 5, 2011 at 6:50 pm
It ain’t Etsy, but you can still buy things:
http://www.cafepress.com/KeepCalmandLesbiOn