- Submitted by Mo-Dean
I’ve seen a good deal of gay underpants in my time. In fact, I lived with a gay man for many years, so I spent a lot of time on the toilet, staring at International Male catalogues and trying to make sense of it all.
Not everything I’ve seen in this genre is to my taste, but it’s not supposed to be. And I guess on some level I understand what they’re going for, and why someone might want to wear it.
Until this.
This is a new brief called “Balls Out” from Be-Brief.com. The manufacturer claims it took 2011 years to come up with this design, which seems like a huge waste of manpower for something your dryer could do on the wrong setting. In any case, you can now hang your balls out of your underpants in style, and the designer is very excited about it.
As is the model.
I could not understand the benefit to this. Why in God’s name would you want your nut sack flopping around all day like a sack of doubloons? Jesus, I don’t even like walking around with a hole in my sock.
So then I thought, well, maybe it’s like a strapless bra or something! Couldn’t that be it? Maybe you’re meant to wear this under certain kinds of garments for some sort of effect. But I couldn’t think of too many looks where guys want to hide their penises and showcase their balls. I mean I suppose it’s possible in certain cultures, where huge nuts are a sign of wealth or something. I don’t know, I’m reaching.
I decided to show this to my fiance, because he has testicles. And after a moment of stunned silence, here’s what he came up with:
“Maybe it’s tight and it gives you a half-chub all day.”
Yeah, I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like a turn on to have two thirds of your junk dangling out of a small hole. Really, if you wanted that sensation, you could just get a hernia.
No, the only reason I can think of for buying these is if you’re going to do something like this.
So I’d like to suggest they just start calling these “Old Dudes Hanging Brain.” It would save a lot of Googling.
