“Friday” by Rebecca Black, as interpreted by a bad lip reader

- Submitted by Rebecca B. in a totally freakish coincidence

- Submitted by Marie

She wasn’t a very pretty girl, but she was a lot of fun to dance with.

Someone really likes driving in the rain.

I’m going to level with you.

I’ve had a really long day. I’m completely exhausted, the hot water heater has been broken for 2 days so I haven’t been able to take a shower, I ate too many cookies and about an hour ago I decided to mix pear vodka with ginger ale, which was an excellent idea except now my arms feel really heavy and I’ve been staring at the chair for 20 minutes.

So I’m just going to leave the above image here, and you can come up with the joke. I’ve already blown through all my Lady Gaga references here and here and I can’t go down that road again.

Whoever gets the most votes in the comment thread is going to win this:

That’s right, an Octopus Steampunk necklace with obligatory Eiffel tower and matching earrings (not pictured, but just as hideous).

This set was created by Jennifer at Hecates Jewelry on Etsy, who describes it thusly:

Genuine, raw brass stampings, Swarovski pearls, brass charms, Artistic Wire wrapped copper wire, Vintaj brass chain, a handmade clasp, an actual antique key we found in our house when we bought it, and aluminum roses straight from China, probably coated in lead paint. Also, there’s a not-vintage Arizona Jeans brand watch face wrapped onto the thing, and one fresh water pearl. Finishing it off is a dark red, really ugly glass bead to anchor the end of the fully adjustable chain.

So please just take over for me while I mainline some Excedrin and give myself a very cold crotch bath in the bathroom sink.