Origin of Feces
When I first started doing this site, I didn’t link to the sellers. I just honestly didn’t think they’d want to be identified. I know I didn’t.
I started linking within a few days of going live, but by then I had accumulated a folder full of images and listings with no identifying information.
This is a small selection of images from the spring and summer of 2009. I have no idea where any of these things came from.
Seller located! Click here for Etsy store
Seller found! Click here for Etsy store
Seller located! Click here for Etsy store
Seller found! Click here for Etsy store
Seller found! Click here for Etsy store
Seller found! Click here for Etsy store
Seller found! Click here for Etsy store
If you see something of yours posted here, let me know so I can link back to your store.
March 31, 2011 at 5:28 pm
Holy shit.
The person in the Flamingo hat looks suspiciously familiar…
/dies of laughter
March 31, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I know right?! $5 says it’s the snood lady!
March 31, 2011 at 5:41 pm
no, I mean I think I know this person in real life…outside of this lovely fuckery
March 31, 2011 at 5:53 pm
she looks familiar to me, too, jenn . . .
March 31, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I thought it was the snood lady too.
March 31, 2011 at 6:48 pm
I thought so as well!
March 31, 2011 at 5:40 pm
That was my first thought upon seeing her, too.
March 31, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Just. Wow.
March 31, 2011 at 5:30 pm
hey Boomer… Does that *not* look like our darling Magda from Oz?
March 31, 2011 at 8:15 pm
I don’t see it.
March 31, 2011 at 8:37 pm
I’ve gotta say, I actually LOVE most of these pieces. I usually come to Regretsy to see the daily train wreck, but I would be proud to own most of these items. Maybe it’s because I’m slightly drunk…
March 31, 2011 at 8:38 pm
…especially Abe Lincoln. Talent!
March 31, 2011 at 9:08 pm
The “Gimp” seller has some really nice looking stuff. Not as funny as this one, but I would buy one of those corset dresses supposin’ that I had me some money.
March 31, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Ah, crap! I can’t think of the name, but I know the identity of the person who did the bleeding clouds.
Why do I know that? Because I also used to know someone with that painting tattooed around their arm. Yes, indeed.
March 31, 2011 at 5:30 pm
That drawing is copied from a scene (arguably the most infamous one) in Don Hertzfeldt’s “Rejected”.
March 31, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Took the words right out of my mouth. I’m going to have to go watch that now! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!
March 31, 2011 at 5:34 pm
You beat me to it, but I’m glad someone called that out.
March 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I took it down since it’s a rip off.
March 31, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Really glad I saw Helen’s comment below. I was wondering which of us were hallucinating because I saw nothing that looks anything at all like a bleeding cloud or anus.
Although between the “asprutan”, the cufflinks, and the “Oh, it’s you”, I would not be surprised if part of this collection was a Gallery titled “Dreams of Bleeding Anus”.
March 31, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Stars15k, you inspired me to search “anus” on etsy. Here’s my favorite result:
March 31, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Figured it out! Original was a cartoon by Don Hertzfeldt which is hilarious. He might not be responsible for the painting.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJYxCSXjhLI
March 31, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Watch for it at 5:41.
March 31, 2011 at 5:30 pm
I am loving the rabbit gimp mask. If I wanted to do some Donnie Darko cosplay, I’d buy that for sure.
March 31, 2011 at 6:46 pm
I… I, um…. *looks furtively around and whispers* I like it, too.
I would absolutely work that into a messed up Halloween costume.
March 31, 2011 at 7:09 pm
the rabbit gimp mask looks similar to something they sell at extreme restraints (a bdsm shop)
March 31, 2011 at 5:30 pm
That has to be the worst circumcision scar I have ever seen!
March 31, 2011 at 5:30 pm
That bleeding anus is the work of the marvelous Don Hertzfeldt & is from his film “Rejected.” Y’all should watch and buy his stuff, because it is awesome. Here’s his website: http://www.bitterfilms.com
March 31, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Dance! Everybody dance! Life is goooood! This is fuuunnnn!
My anus is bleeding… My anus is bleeding! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEEEDIIIINNNGGGG!! WAAAAAHHHHHH
March 31, 2011 at 6:12 pm
Where have I heard that before?
March 31, 2011 at 6:51 pm
One Guy One Jar?
March 31, 2011 at 7:32 pm
That guy seriously needs to step it up. One Guy, One Jar Full of Bees.
March 31, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Gemme that bunny gimp mask and that Asprutan and leave me alone for the night.
March 31, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 9:01 pm
You clearly need to drink less.
March 31, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Are you a fan of creepy circuses and freaky carnivals?
Do you love (dead) babies (in your cotton candy)?
March 31, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I love that the description is just those two questions. So much vague, horrible potential in so few words.
March 31, 2011 at 7:44 pm
I think *that* item was secretly made and listed by HK. It’s just *too* Regretsy…
March 31, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Is that…a flamingo snood?
March 31, 2011 at 5:32 pm
The baby cotton candy is just fucking creepy.
March 31, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Where’s the mermaid in that pagoda latern?
March 31, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Drowning beneath the massive implant. It has to be an implant; real boobs that big are rarely that round.
March 31, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Real boobs that big are rarely in pagoda lanterns, either.
March 31, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Fake boobs might burst under pressure in the ocean though.
March 31, 2011 at 6:52 pm
In space, no-one can hear your implants burst.
March 31, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Actually, that is a ridiculously good price for a plain gimp mask. Let alone completely one with rabbit ears that actually stand up.
… and now to distract you all from the fact that I know that, I bring you another etsy-esque hairpiece!
March 31, 2011 at 6:05 pm
I was thinking the same thing despite my utter fear of the gimp. Horror on a budget. Nice.
March 31, 2011 at 6:20 pm
To be completely honest, I’m trying to see if I can find it right now.
The costume possibilities are endless!
March 31, 2011 at 6:21 pm
…. So long as they involve a gimp mask.
March 31, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Add a few bows and a doily, and that squirrel becomes a Fascinator! Of course, like with many other Fascinators, you have to kill it first!
March 31, 2011 at 5:33 pm
<— Very deserving of the "I fucked your dog" pillow.
March 31, 2011 at 6:22 pm
in a world of thumbs downs, i gave you a thumbs up.
March 31, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Thanks…In a world of people who are mostly afraid to use the name associated with their shop here, I am not, and consequently thumbed down in a stalkerish fashion by the cupcake brigade who seek to silence me.
March 31, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Seems appropriate that it’s in a font similar to Comic Sans as well. Nothing else would do for a statement like that.
March 31, 2011 at 5:33 pm
It looks like the guy from Oh, It’s You bought himself an Asprutan.
March 31, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Actually, the Anus cloud probably also bought one.
March 31, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Can’t stop laughing at the buttplug cufflinks.
March 31, 2011 at 5:34 pm
I honestly laughed so hard I farted.
Possibly sharted, gotta check that.
March 31, 2011 at 5:53 pm
well, if you need a plug: I just need them back for that big meeting with my pastor next week.
March 31, 2011 at 5:34 pm
That pink flamingo hat looks like it being modeled by The Snood Lady.
March 31, 2011 at 5:34 pm
#1 looks painful…..
#2 is pretty fucking cute/funny/uh…..
#3 looks like my uncle after a day with the horses. ( I dont’ ask what he does…. we live in Kansas)
#4 hehehehehehehehe!!!!
down to the rabbit mask. I want one. Yes…. to scare the kids on Easter!
March 31, 2011 at 5:35 pm
$33 seems like an incredibly reasonable price for a handmade bunny rabbit gimp mask costume, it’s probably a reseller.
March 31, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Why do I think the flamingo hat lady’s car does smell of vomit? Is juxtaposition such a powerful thing? Or are my octosenses tingling for a reason?
March 31, 2011 at 5:36 pm
Oh I want that flamingo hat! I would wear it with all green and go for the “fleshly mowed grass” look. Heck, might even iron on a garden gnome on my green shirt and really accessorize…
March 31, 2011 at 10:37 pm
I know how you feel. I want that flamingo hat just to wear to the grocery store. I’ve been looking for ways to appear as insane as I am.
March 31, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Hey, cyberlocks are awesome. And if I had the $$$ for supplies (if I could even find a place that had any) I’d make them too.
March 31, 2011 at 5:37 pm
NO BOO! Find the sellers this instant!! I need that Abraham Lincoln portrait hanging in my living room! And the bunny rabbit gimp mask for when my gimp buddies come over and feel like discussing the imagery and symbolism of Abe Lincoln wearing a “Barack is my Homeboy” shirt whilst simultaneously performing kinky acts unto each other! UGH!
March 31, 2011 at 5:41 pm
No discussion during kinky gimp acts, hence the mouth restraint. Discussion AFTER gimping, over steaming Ovaltine.
March 31, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Cloris Leachman lives inside all of us!
March 31, 2011 at 7:30 pm
We communicate via a sophisticated series of convulsions. Lol
March 31, 2011 at 6:23 pm
I need that Lincoln portrait too! Wanna go halvsies? http://www.etsy.com/listing/20015158/barack-is-my-homeboy-16-x-20
March 31, 2011 at 6:40 pm
I just need an invitation to the next party those two are giving. Besides Ovaltine would make a great safeword.
March 31, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Lol yes! We can have joint custody!
March 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I love how casual the people in the “Oh, It’s You” painting look.
“Sigh, it’s just you, the guy with the sledgehammer sized penis. Yeah, go ahead. Touch my massive boobs. Whatever.”
March 31, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Well, it’s not like they can ever have sex, is it? That’s gotta be frustrating.
March 31, 2011 at 8:12 pm
Titty fuck?
March 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I have never commented here before but those butt plug cufflinks made me laugh so loud it woke up my roommate and she bitched at me. Then I explained what I had been laughing at, she came over to look, and now she wants to look through every regretsy post from the beginning. Yeah for new fans!!
March 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Found the gimp mask seller. http://www.etsy.com/listing/32300008/bunny-rabbit-gimp-mask-costume
March 31, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Made by a spider. Well I’ll be damned.
March 31, 2011 at 5:42 pm
You’re awesome. I’m going to have to favorite her. ^^
March 31, 2011 at 5:46 pm
She has some very pretty little dresses in her store. If I were young, petite, and rich, I’d pretty much buy her out. Almost. Ripped clothing makes me feel skeevy.
March 31, 2011 at 10:32 pm
The other pictures are truly frightening.
March 31, 2011 at 5:39 pm
My lovely daughter stopped by Culver’s on her way home from whatever it was she was doing today and brought me one of their tasty chocolate milkshakes.
I just choked on the damn thing. You would think that my time on Regretsy would have taught me to put down any and all beverages. But no.
March 31, 2011 at 5:40 pm
There is something decidedly wrong with me. I NEED that bunny gimp mask. It is officially on my Christmas list.
March 31, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Butt plug cufflinks: you can use multipurpose…?
March 31, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Only if you have MultiAnus!
March 31, 2011 at 6:17 pm
reeeeally little ones.
March 31, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Everybody has been there. You want to look as classy as possible in your steampunk pinstripe suit, but you fear that at any moment, a duo of anuses will appear that need plugging. What’s a guy supposed to do?
March 31, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Oh honey, there are more assholes in heaven and earth than are thought of in your philosophy.
March 31, 2011 at 9:34 pm
True. Solution: need more buttplugs
March 31, 2011 at 9:45 pm
needs a heroic capitalist motto:
A Buttplug In Every Asshole!
March 31, 2011 at 10:06 pm
Sounds like a new Etsy motto, or at least a top tip, what with the apparent issues their admin are having with Earl Grey tea.
A buttplug for every asshole, a lantern for every boob, etc etc.
March 31, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Actually the cyberlocks aren’t overly bad and the gimp mask is actually reasonably priced.
Other than that, I’d get those butt plug cufflinks for a friend of mine. He’d get a kick out of them.
March 31, 2011 at 5:48 pm
I thought of my son-in-law when I saw those cufflinks. Alas, he doesn’t wear French cuffs.
March 31, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Of all the comments I’ve read on Regretsy,that is one of the most disturbing, Postmenopaws.
March 31, 2011 at 9:04 pm
Would it help if I told you he found Jesus and lost his love of butt-plugs?
March 31, 2011 at 9:22 pm
@Postmenopaws: that’s kinda sad, actually. I know several Christians who see no conflict between butt plugs and their faith. Provided it’s not the Baby Jesus Butt Plug (yes, that is a thing).
March 31, 2011 at 10:26 pm
I’m sure we’re all waiting for someone to find an miraculous image of Jesus on a buttplug.
April 1, 2011 at 5:26 pm
WAS such a thing. I don’t think that company is making them anymo… OMG IT’S RETURNED!
March 31, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Out of all this ridiculous fuckery the one that stuck with me the most is the cotton candy baby…
Are you a fan of freaky circuses and creepy carnivals? Do you like sneaking around maternity wards, stealing newborns and smothering them in grocery store produce bags? Well have I got the most wonderful treat for you! I think SVU needs to pay a visit to this seller.
March 31, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I hear that seller has a new product line called “Kiddles”. But don’t buy them at the movie theater – they jack up the price.
March 31, 2011 at 5:42 pm
Happy Light bulb Awareness month!
March 31, 2011 at 5:44 pm
The “Eat My Pussy” embroidery might be from here:
http://www.etsy.com/people/tidycloth?ref=pr_profile
April 1, 2011 at 12:19 am
Now I know what I’m getting my boyfriend for a late Valentine’s gift…
March 31, 2011 at 5:47 pm
Barak is My Homeboy http://www.etsy.com/listing/20015158/barack-is-my-homeboy-16-x-20
Asprutan came from here http://www.etsy.com/shop/phlaznatch
Bunny Gimp mask came from here http://www.etsy.com/shop/tsukatta?ref=seller_info
March 31, 2011 at 5:47 pm
I just love that the freakier it is – the less description you get. There’s something kinda badass about that.
March 31, 2011 at 5:48 pm
btw- Asprutan was actually a BROOCH
March 31, 2011 at 5:53 pm
Oh, sure. RUIN my fantasy. {cries}
March 31, 2011 at 5:55 pm
Oh. At 9″x3″x3″ it’s a very LARGE brooch…
March 31, 2011 at 6:56 pm
getthefuckouttahere!
March 31, 2011 at 5:49 pm
I would buy the keychain.
It’s hard to believe that the other items aren’t posted as a joke.
April 1, 2011 at 7:23 am
As would I. Though, honestly, mine smell more like sweat socks.
March 31, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Found #1 http://jillianmoore.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html
-and- http://www.etsy.com/shop/phlaznatch
She makes a lot of things that look like festive…organs.
BTW, asprutan means “sprout.” Take that any way you want.
March 31, 2011 at 6:14 pm
They are all so organic looking! Kind of like what you would expect a see through the microscope of an artsy STD cartoon.
March 31, 2011 at 5:50 pm
A spun sugar abortion in a bag. Yum.
March 31, 2011 at 5:50 pm
March 31, 2011 at 5:56 pm
You clearly need to drink more.
March 31, 2011 at 5:56 pm
Full frontal actually makes me want it more.
March 31, 2011 at 6:13 pm
It’s a Sleestak! Awesome:-D
March 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I am in awe.
March 31, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Oh come ON. It’s not that hard to properly set in a zipper. Harrumph.
March 31, 2011 at 8:22 pm
You’ve never seen me try to sew.
April 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Even a white boy like me can handle it.
Love them du Pont spiders….
April 1, 2011 at 1:00 am
That’s a lot of interesting pattern pieces…
Now I want to take a picture of it round to our local stuck-in-a-timewarp haberdashery shop* and ask if there’s anything like THIS in their Vogue/Butterick etc pattern catalogues. I wish I was brave enough.
(*suggested fabrics: gingham, polar fleece with penguin print, glitterdot…)
March 31, 2011 at 5:51 pm
The asprutan looks like a geoduck, they could sell well in Seattle-they have such a cult following that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone wanted a geoduck butt plug.
For those who have never heard of this sensual mollusk: http://www.timwing.com/geoduck/goeduck-trans-gif.gif
March 31, 2011 at 9:26 pm
I’m pretty sure at least one person in this wide world has used a goeduck *AS* a buttplug by now.
April 1, 2011 at 10:27 am
Rule #34
March 31, 2011 at 9:30 pm
I need a matchbox or a ruler for scale.
March 31, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 7:27 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 7:42 pm
Neither.
But the cotton candy baby didn’t like your tone at all.
March 31, 2011 at 5:59 pm
The Pink Flamingo hat lady looks a lot like the snood lady.
March 31, 2011 at 6:00 pm
The “Eat My Pussy” embroidery is mine, from my decorative cum rag shop:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/tidycloth
- Amelia Raley
March 31, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Wow. That’s a sweet idea, and I <3 your sense of humour!
March 31, 2011 at 10:18 pm
*FUSTBUMP*
March 31, 2011 at 10:19 pm
…self-derped again. Begin the thumbing down!
April 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm
That sounds DIRTY. What’s your number?
April 2, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Those are beyond amazing.
March 31, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Doing a bit of sleuthing for you.
Asprutan: Did not find the actual etsy listing, but found this. http://jillianmoore.blogspot.com/2009_06_01_archive.html Which does link to an etsy shop.
Primitives: Found nothing
Barack is my Homeboy: http://www.etsy.com/listing/20015158/barack-is-my-homeboy-16-x-20
Breast Cancer: No luck
Eat My pussy: http://www.etsy.com/transaction/24943980
Cufflinks: http://www.etsy.com/transaction/20695626
March 31, 2011 at 6:04 pm
I have WAY too much time on my hands.
March 31, 2011 at 6:33 pm
Yeah, me too.
March 31, 2011 at 6:33 pm
That was supposed to be a reply to ambachan.
March 31, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Accidentaly skipped boob latern: http://www.etsy.com/listing/30568502/the-mermaid-mammary-pagoda-lantern
I fucked your dog: Too many disturbing google results to look any further, sorry.
pink flamingo hat: http://www.etsy.com/listing/26880535/pink-flamingo-hat?ref=v1_other_2
My car smells like vomit: http://www.etsy.com/listing/26712753/my-car-smells-like-vomit-key-ring
Foam Falls: Found the image through google images, but listing has been removed.
Oh it’s you: nothing
Gimp mask: already posted above.
March 31, 2011 at 8:05 pm
Thank God someone found the Mermaid Mammary Pagoda Lantern!!!! I’ve been looking for an affordable one ages, and that is hands down the best price I’ve ever seen for a Mermaid Mammary Pagoda Lantern. Now where did I put my credit card…..
April 1, 2011 at 10:53 am
foam falls, I am pretty sure it come from a store called “sisters of the moon”
April 1, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Nope. That would be my Etsy store, CyberFox. I’ve havent had much to sell so it’s empty currently
March 31, 2011 at 6:11 pm
I’m not exactly sure what you’re supposed to be buying in toxic foam falls. Is it the hat?
March 31, 2011 at 6:38 pm
no really? it isn’t very descriptive. we might thing it’s a really good price on the headpiece, but she’s actually just selling the hospital mask.
March 31, 2011 at 11:00 pm
“Falls” generally refers to the clip-on dreadlocks made of random shit.
April 1, 2011 at 8:30 am
I feel like I should be glad that I didn’t know that.
April 1, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Nope, it was the falls I was selling and the description was: A pair of green and black foam falls with black and neon yellow rexlace mounted on ribbon. Not only are they light, but also durable. Tie it into your hair and dance the night away. Made in a smoke free home. As a bonus you’ll get 10 bobby pins for free to help hold your nifty falls in place. Will also take custom colour scheme requests!
March 31, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Abe Lincoln is still for sale. http://www.etsy.com/listing/20015158/barack-is-my-homeboy-16-x-20
March 31, 2011 at 6:12 pm
‘car smells like vomit’ key ring came from:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/undeadmushroom12
March 31, 2011 at 6:13 pm
Gotta love
steampunkcyber goth… Let’s find everything green and black in my arts and crafts bin, wear it with some goggles, and… fuck it. Why not add some cat ears?March 31, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Don’t forget the glowsticks!
March 31, 2011 at 6:41 pm
And the mask. Gotta have the mask. And the person with the most buckles on their outfit wins a prize!
March 31, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Throw in the Toxic Foams Falls chick and you got yourself a party…
March 31, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Holy crap, I can’t decide which thing is more offensive. It’s a tossup between the acorn heads and the cotton-candy-with-fetus.
And the more I look, the worse it gets.
March 31, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Here’s the cross stitch one:
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/24943980
March 31, 2011 at 6:37 pm
It’s embroidery, not cross stitch
http://www.etsy.com/shop/tidycloth
April 1, 2011 at 3:23 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 6:18 pm
That cartoon…the dick is… sewn on?
All dick and no balls.
March 31, 2011 at 6:25 pm
i think it’s suposed to be pubes. maybe.
March 31, 2011 at 7:34 pm
It looks like his balls are in his ass.
March 31, 2011 at 6:22 pm
And the butt plugs. It’s going to be embarrassing if anyone ever looks at my internet history.
http://www.etsy.com/transaction/20695626
March 31, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Delete and deny.
March 31, 2011 at 9:47 pm
Claim ‘Research’. Works for conservative politicians caught accessing porn sites in Australia.
March 31, 2011 at 6:24 pm
i like to imagine the reactions of custons people when these get posted. they open random packages to check for drugs/plants/food/whatever, so imagine this:
a package is put through the x-ray, the operator says, “Wait!” and the package is opened, to find a baby (assumedly plastic) encased in cotton candy and plastic.
“What the f…” Says the operator.
“I’ll get the supervisor,” adds his workmate.
The supervisor comesout and reviews the object, “is that from etsy? yeah, it’s the third one this month.”
the customs guys look on in astonishment.
March 31, 2011 at 6:47 pm
More like:
“Holy mother of– Is that from Etsy?”
“Yeah.”
“Pfffft. Figures. Put it through.”
March 31, 2011 at 6:28 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/32300008/bunny-rabbit-gimp-mask-costume Found the gimp mask!
I’ll be in my bunk?
Firefly reference = +1,000,000 points. – BD
March 31, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Wish I’d refreshed the thread before posting…. but the picture stays (with you forever).
March 31, 2011 at 7:29 pm
I’ll want that mask no matter what angle I see it from. The more the merrier.*
*Why does every comment I type about this item sound so dirty to me? I don’t think I’m doing it on purpose.
March 31, 2011 at 8:09 pm
XD! I looked to see if it was still available, but it was sold. I bet if you convo’d her, you might be able to purchase one. it looks like it’s made of something soft and stretchy, too. >3>
March 31, 2011 at 6:30 pm
There is something oddly aesthetically pleasing, as well as dumbfounded wonder and a slight horror at aspurtan.
March 31, 2011 at 7:04 pm
I think the fact that, looking at this picture, you have no idea of the material (glass, latex, polystyrene, gnome penis) or the size of the, um, asprutan is what makes it even more disturbing.
March 31, 2011 at 8:37 pm
The aspurtan is great! I like the bizarre things she makes.
March 31, 2011 at 6:31 pm
All of these items were featured on Etsy’s front page, May 2008, “Wedding Gifts They’ll Remember.”
March 31, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Found the flamingo hat and boob lantern.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/26880535/pink-flamingo-hat
I think I like the walrus one better:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/59460124/walrus-hat
Mermaid mammary pagoda Lantern:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/30568502/the-mermaid-mammary-pagoda-lantern
March 31, 2011 at 7:48 pm
I like the panda one as well
March 31, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 10:47 pm
Yeah, instead of buying it you should probably report that shit to Don Hertzfeldt for copyright infringement & then go buy one of the prints he made.
March 31, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Think we can all agree that the nipple in that Pagoda Lantern needs to shoot fire.
March 31, 2011 at 6:37 pm
How did they get Kathy Bates to model that flamingo hat?!
March 31, 2011 at 6:40 pm
Toxic Foam Falls looks like one of those damn Cruxshadows Fairies. They’re like the hippies of Dragon*con. God damn cruxshadow fairies. they’re everywhere. like fuzzy neon cockroaches.
March 31, 2011 at 6:51 pm
You have my sympathies.
The glitter-dunked Twilight fans are the sparkly sand in my con knickers.
March 31, 2011 at 8:13 pm
If I could “like” that more than once, I totally would.
March 31, 2011 at 7:17 pm
*cruxshadow fairies*
I love it!
March 31, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Just once, I would like to NOT have to put up with all the Cruxshadows BS at D*C. *rolls eyes*
March 31, 2011 at 11:07 pm
Just once, I’d like to be able to go to Dragon*con
March 31, 2011 at 6:42 pm
That is an amazing collection of fuckery right there.
March 31, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Sadly, I know a family where those “3 BLACK ACORN PRIMITIVES” would fit right into their decor.
March 31, 2011 at 6:56 pm
But, without googly eyes, they are NOTHING!
March 31, 2011 at 7:38 pm
These don’t bother me as much as that Obamonstrosity from yesterday.
March 31, 2011 at 8:40 pm
I think he’s actually saying “That’s RACY!”
March 31, 2011 at 9:27 pm
So he’s looking at the cufflinks?
March 31, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Regarding “Oh, It’s You” – what an absurd image. Nobody’s arm is that long.
March 31, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Dear Regretsy,
Just because I made a new dream catcher yesterday didn’t mean I wanted to fill the damn thing in the first two nights.
Thanks for ruining my dream (catcher),
Qui
March 31, 2011 at 9:28 pm
When dreamcatcher becomes shitcatcher!
March 31, 2011 at 7:08 pm
1. I need that bunny gimp mask. It has nothing to do with me, honest, we have this haunted house you see, and we NEED THE BUNNY GIMP MASK.
2. For some reason I cannot fathom, I really adore that damn “I fucked your dog” pillow. Go figure.
March 31, 2011 at 7:21 pm
Amelia, those are the most adorable embroidered cum rags I have ever seen.
April 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Thank you! I appreciate it!
March 31, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 31, 2011 at 7:39 pm
well if you don’t see that Pink Flamingo hat anymore on etsy, it’s because this slag here bought it.
Now all I need is to go thrift store divin’ for some tattered pink outfit and voilà ! I have this years holloween costume
March 31, 2011 at 7:43 pm
28 days …6 hours… 42 minutes… 12 seconds.. that is when the world is going to end, or Frank is going to come and get his mask back from that chick.
March 31, 2011 at 7:44 pm
March 31, 2011 at 10:01 pm
This is covered in awesome sauce!
March 31, 2011 at 11:08 pm
New Regretsy meme… “View it all at once”
March 31, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Erotic buttplug cufflinks?
Awww, now Prince William will have a suitable pair ready for his wedding!
March 31, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Cum rags FTW.
All these things give me hope. Hope that one day I, too, can manufacture a product that is both completely useless and outrageously overpriced, sell it on Etsy, and become independently wealthy.
March 31, 2011 at 8:39 pm
So many awesome gift ideas. It’s going to be an unforgettable Mother’s Day this year!
March 31, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Searching the word “vomit” on Etsy is dangerous.
Regretsy leads me to bad, bad things. That’s why I love it.
March 31, 2011 at 8:42 pm
The buttplug cufflinks are totally outrageous but I also found these Cheeky Bottom cufflinks
March 31, 2011 at 9:35 pm
sweeeeet cheeks ;]
March 31, 2011 at 10:27 pm
I love these!
March 31, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Complete with a split penis, holding a silver dildo.
OOAK.
April 1, 2011 at 8:52 am
Those would probably be great fun to mix and match with the buttplug cufflinks.
March 31, 2011 at 9:35 pm
“phlaznatch, Jillian Moore” Ok, I checked out her shop and I actually kind of dig her stuff.
March 31, 2011 at 9:38 pm
The last link is broken… needs an “h”!
March 31, 2011 at 9:57 pm
The primitive acorns are another one of those items that cause me to have two simultaneous yet incompatible thoughts:
1. Who would pay MONEY for THAT?
2. $6.00 is way too cheap for that, considering how long it must have taken her to make three of them, with all those little details.
March 31, 2011 at 11:10 pm
I have this exact thought about a lot of things on Etsy. If I knew the seller, it would be followed up with an “Oh Honey, I’m sorry you’re wasting your life” tequila-binge.
March 31, 2011 at 10:40 pm
The car vomit keyring must be this seller!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/undeadmushroom12?ref=seller_info
March 31, 2011 at 11:15 pm
I’m totally loving this seller…they started off with crappy Twilight sayings…but moved on to things like http://www.etsy.com/transaction/43048840 “Mimes eat babies”… I approve.
April 1, 2011 at 7:27 am
“Zombie bitch!” Most excellent.
April 1, 2011 at 1:05 am
These are far too memorable to forgetsy. I’ll be seeing Asprutan in my nightmares.
April 1, 2011 at 5:01 am
The Origin of the Feces…a Type O Negative album. I <3 Type O.
April 1, 2011 at 5:02 am
oh, and Fuck you #49!!!
April 1, 2011 at 7:40 am
The last link broke, I think…. but I tried searching anyway. I couldn’t come up with it, but Etsy offered some nice suggestions:
April 3, 2011 at 2:45 am
Yellow?
That’s not a suggestion, that’s a punchline.
April 1, 2011 at 9:49 am
I’m not even a little concerned by the first one and now I feel jaded
April 1, 2011 at 9:54 am
I totally want one of those fancy splooge rags! I hate my boyfriend constantly ruining my nice towels…
April 1, 2011 at 10:30 am
I think that the flamingo hat lady needs to go into business with the ball-free undies guy. Cause sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you feel like slipping them into a crocheted flamingo.
April 1, 2011 at 11:27 am
Oh my gawd. Words just fail me.
April 1, 2011 at 7:48 pm
One word. Inspired.
April 1, 2011 at 10:50 am
I am pretty sure that the toxic foam falls is from the store called sisters of the moon
April 1, 2011 at 12:36 pm
They’re from CyberFox.
April 1, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Gonna say this here. Toxic Foam Falls is one of my first products that I ever made. I’ve managed to move on from them and am now making better things (which most of you will make fun of anyways). This is my business that I hope to go full time soon as I’m already making a good amount from selling. I kinda feel a bit special having something of mine on here. Also, this isn’t Sister of the Moon or whatever, but CyberFox and at least I’m attempting at following my dreams of owning my own business which I will have fun with rather then going to a job where my soul slowly diminishes.
April 1, 2011 at 12:56 pm
THAT is the fluffiest pink flamingo dildo I have EVER seen!
April 1, 2011 at 9:19 pm
Hi guys, I am the creator of the flamingo and other animal hats, Whimsical you crack me up, but if you special order it I can make it. I can and will make anything out of yarn. Yes I do look like Kathy Bates, no my car doesn’t smell like vomit, coffee maybe but not vomit. No I don’t make snoods and I am not the snood lady. Love the site. You guys crack me up.
April 3, 2011 at 10:30 am
I am soooo there! I’d so wear the flamingo hat!
April 5, 2011 at 9:43 am
The top piece has surpassed all! How disgusting.
Price is also striking.
April 8, 2011 at 6:02 pm
I’ve had a pretty good month ( http://americancraftmag.org/blog-post.php?id=12060 ), but being featured on Regretsy made me squeal with glee.