years ago, late at night i caught a cartoon version of animal farm that was all kidded-up, made nice and sanitary for children, this summary she posted reminds me of it. dead eyed and meaningingless, yet disturbing, like that pig head.
THIS is what my thoughts were. She should have gone with Lord of the Flies. A nice little spear sticking out from behind the piece would have been PERFECTION!
My favorite part was the next part of that sentence – “you are WONDERFUL!!!!” I looked at this seller’s other listings, & was surprise to find no more rotting corpses. Just “abstract paintings” aka “my preschooler’s fingerpaintings”, such as “The Day I Found Happy” aka “The Day I Finally Got a Prescription for Vicodin”.
True story- I grew up in Anchorage, Alaska and I worked in the yearly haunted house back when I was in high school. One year our sponsor was the local grocery store and we had access to their meat department “throw-aways”. We got a whole pig’s head.
After the second day, it stank so bad that we had to throw it out. But nobody wanted to touch it. Someone brought in a clear resin thing and doused it.
By the way, I graduated from high school 24 years ago. I think this is the same pig.
I always wondered why I only got a C on my Animal Farm book report in Freshman English. If I had cut a pig’s head off, let it rot for three weeks, then sprayed lacquer all over it I would have gotten an A easily. Also a referral to a psychiatrist.
A woman of my acquaintance is an Egyptian pagan and has moved in with a man she claims is an Orthodox Jew. Every time they eat at home she posts pictures on Facebook and makes it sound like she’s having the time of her life.
you can see the quote in one of the other pictures, which also shows that very low on the list of problems with this is that the artist’s sense of scale is WAY off. The whole thing is 36″x36″ with huge lettering around a fetal pig (or maybe just a piglet?)head. The head itself is the size of a cat’s head stuck in the middle of a 3 foot square canvas.
This reminds me of something I saw once where someone was trying to sell their “art” piece, where they baked a real pig head for like 4 months in their oven, then covered it in a sealant. x_x I really hope that wasn’t on Etsy…. I have no idea where I heard it… but they wanted like $2000 for it, too.
@testanimal: OH! I recalled that but assumed it was the same guy, but no. Not even close. Now that we have two to compare I have to say, I think that “Ham” was an exquisitely done pig’s-head-on-a-wall! It was detailed (two ears plus discernable features!) and even-toned. Looked like a candy apple. This one shows very poor workmanship.
Confound it, Schlady, you beat me to it! But, if the pigs DID write laws on barn wood, perhaps they are already on etsy, selling craponbarnwood in secret…
Am i the only one thinking that most of the “art” in her shop looks like she force fed a 5 year old a bag of sugar and duct taped paintbrushes to it’s hands?
Don’t know much about resin-ing, but if it wasn’t properly preserved first, won’t it start to rot from the inside out and build up enough gas and pressure to explode??
I once tried to resin a real potato (for a couch potato thingy) which did INDEED explode after a couple weeks. It wasn’t pretty.
The amount of pretentiousness per square inch is astounding. I hope this work comes with a free cyanide pill, because the fucker who purchases this deserves to die.
This would be the perfect conversation starter when my library book discussion group reads Animal Farm this summer! Let me just get started on the most ridiculous grant proposal ever & see if I can come up with that $2K. Maybe I can cut & paste from that awesome description / lit crit.
This is so worth two grand. The missing ear, the teeth, the thick spackle-like glaze of god knows what…it just says “literature” to me. What a perfect piece for my library.
okay this isn’t related to this picture (which, btw, is horrid) but i have to share. i made a collection on etsy under a spanish title that roughly translates to “something stupid”. i put in it things that just dumb. one of the items i chose was an old hay hook being sold as a key hanger (nothing like tripping over your shoes and being impaled through the eye by a rusty hay hook!)
the seller of the hay hook added me to her “circle”. i can only assume she doesn’t read spanish.
1. Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
2. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
3. No animal shall wear clothes.
4. Animals covered in shellac and mounted on a wall are fucking scary.
You know you have been on Regretsy too long when the dead pig head with earring eyes is normal, but the fact they missed the point of Orwell’s Animal Farm bothers you more.
I was embarrassed as a child when my mom explained to me the symbolism behind Animal Farm. I felt like a total doofus for missing the true meaning of the book, even though I was in grade school.
Found it! Although the older one looks much less…decayed. Ick. Truly two very similar original pieces that will make your house guests question your soundness.
YEAH! This one is fabulous compared to today’s! Gorgeous candy-like coating, perfect preservation… it’s tasteful and expertly made. We didn’t think that at the time, but ya live and ya learn
I can sort of picture someone stuck with the clean-up after a VERY drunken pig roast. Conversation with self would go something like, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this goddamn head? Waaaaait a minute! I remember seeing a bunch of shellac in the garage when I was looking for more mezcal. I can so make some money off of this bitch! Lemme just wipe some of the vomit off….”
George Orwell must be doing cartwheels, on another note, I showed this to a couple of friends of mine (one happens to be a taxidermist, the other a mortician) and both threw up in their mouths a little bit…
hee hee… Your name makes me giggle, because I know another “vuva owner” but he’s a man! My buddy restores old cars. He has 2 antique Volvos, one from 1972 when they were super-duper-curvy like old Rolls’(Rollses?) and it’s poppy red.
So anyway, his mom said she ran into an old acquaintance of the family, and the guy asked her,
“So, does John still have that gorgeous, big, shiny red vulva?!”
I just can’t stop wondering what kind of glue would stick a pig’s head solidly to a canvas. You don’t want to shell out two grand on this, only to have the head tumble into your breakfast cereal one morning.
This looks like the kind of thing that, within three days of bringing it into your house, will result in your family going crazy and murdering each other because the screaming demon pig told them to do it.
Any greedy pigs? Uh, click on the Etsy About page and see them all wearing white lab coats. There’s a whole building full of them.
I want to know if the mate to your lost Chanel earring is now being worn in one ear while the Ear That Fell Off While I Was Preserving It is being worn on the other ear (or AS the other ear)?!?
You lost the other ear? How the fuck do you loose an ear? It’s not like a shoe, it’s an ear! It’s attached! That pick looks like it’s been soaked in Gorilla Glue, Modge Podge, and bile.
Ok, I’ll admit, I might have been spending too much time with my Playstation lately (being home with bronchitis sucks!), but that thing looks like something that should be roaming the streets of Silent Hill, and not hanging on a wall.
Also, I don’t think polyester resin will successfully “preserve” something that started rotting before you slathered goo on it…
Just a thought.
If it were on Silent Hill, it would probably not have Chanel earrings for eyes. AND it could never sneak up on you, because your little broken radio would buzz to high heaven if it got too close. I do feel like taking a chainsaw to it, though!
And it also reminds me of this old farmer’s market on the highway by my parent’s house; they used to do pig roasts every weekend. And I say used to because they closed down due to asbestos. So now I’m going to associate the two, forever, in my own personal hell.
When I was eight years old, I once hard-boiled an egg for several hours, having been told that this would harden it enough to ensure long-term preservation. The egg was coated in varnish, painted with stripes, and mounted in a wire cradle shaped like the legs and wings of a bee, complete with Blu-Tack eyes covered in black paint. This nasty contraption survived in the kitchen for about a year, then went off without warning whilst my father was making himself some coffee.
The results were Lovecraftian – when questioned about his sprint from the kitchen, my dad “responded feebly, but it could be seen that the mephitic blast from the crypt had in some way gravely sickened him”. I think something similar happened in The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.
That was from one hen’s egg. I think there’s a reason why honest, wholesome taxidermy is (relatively) popular, whereas dried and varnished critter parts are less so.
Is there a trend I’ve missed? Since when did people start surrounding themselves with dead things? Other than Ed Gein, I mean. I’ve always been of the opinion (backed up by science) that dead things are unclean, and should be removed from the house a bit faster than an Etsy sale takes.
When I first saw the red ham pig head, a little part of me died inside. Seeing this Coco one made that little part rise from the grave and kill the rest of me for looking at it.
Just be glad she decided to make a piece about Animal Farm…if that seller decided to interpret 1984, I imagine she would have mounted her older brother’s noggin in the name of ‘art’
Okay, I’ve accepted the fact that I am weird. Not eccentric (i don’t have money) but just weird. But I don’t think I’ll ever be weird enough to put that fucking thing in my house.
Maybe if I re-decorated with a Texas Chainsaw Massacre theme…?
If I was that seller, I would be kicking myself, I mean KICKING myself for not thinking of “Coco Charnel.” God that’s perfect. So much more compelling than “Pig’s Head Collage,” which could have been added as a descriptor, or to the tags, so seller would’ve still gotten all the buyers searching for putrefying porkers (another good tag).
With a headline like Coco Charnel, they would have sold it by now.
I cannot believe these people!! I am an artist so trust me when I say this, the worst possible thing you could to do to a decaying object is COVER IT IN RESIN! It doesn’t preserve it. I wish I could beat it into these lunatic’s heads. The object will keep decaying and the gases and liquids produced by the decomp will either leak out of it or create a bomb, so not only will you stink up your house but fuck up your walls and probably kill or give your children cancer. That’s ok though because they will probably need therapy anyway after seeing that thing. STOP COVERING DEAD THINGS IN RESIN! For the love of God, STOP!
The first guy baked all the wetness out of his and it looks (compared to this) pretty competently done, so I’m thinking HIS might be ok. THIS, I’m thinking it’ll get halfway to the seller before the couriers worry and report it as suspicious.
Ooooooooooooo. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I work with a lot of dead stuff, and I know for a fact that simply covering this things in resin IS NOT going to preserve it. When it starts oozing all over your living room, you’ll really wish you’d spent that $2,000.00 on new carpets.
MMmm…Lechon, (closer look) wait…hurgh! The minute I saw this thing I thought of the pig that my cousin made for her dad’s retirement party. They had built an unsafe pit in their backyard and cooked it there. Even charred and half-eaten, that pig looked WAY better than this one does. I’d show a picture but I’m not sure how to do that.
Do you think she took the eyes out before she jammed the earrings in? Oh god, this really is disgusting. I think I see green rot and maggots in there, and now I need to throw up.
I didn’t know that, about dead things in resin exploding–I’m glad, but at the same time, I was never planning to (A)keep dead vertebrates around or (B) cover them in resin.
Oh joy! This artist lives in my area and her other stuff is pretty cool. Maybe she will have an exhibition and I can visit the freaky resin-covered rotten pig head in person!
March 29, 2011 at 11:03 am
Comes with Cliff’s Notes!
March 29, 2011 at 11:06 am
Seriously. “Have you ever read Animal Farm? You haven’t? I just read it for my 9th grade required reading, let me share my book report with you.”
March 29, 2011 at 11:23 am
“And summarize what happens without actually touching on any of the meaning. Because I CLEARLY didn’t understand the book.”
March 29, 2011 at 11:45 am
…and all the animals were screwed. The End.
March 29, 2011 at 5:33 pm
years ago, late at night i caught a cartoon version of animal farm that was all kidded-up, made nice and sanitary for children, this summary she posted reminds me of it. dead eyed and meaningingless, yet disturbing, like that pig head.
March 29, 2011 at 11:38 am
Imagine hearing it in Mr. Roger’s voice.
Boys and Girls, let’s all gather around and listen to the story of Animal Farm. Can you say craptacular? I knew you could!
March 29, 2011 at 11:44 am
Hey kids, can YOU think of any greedy pigs out there? I bet you know some!
March 29, 2011 at 12:04 pm
It’s time for our trip to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe! Let’s see what Edgar Cooke has for us today!”
March 29, 2011 at 1:13 pm
I can think of one greedy little pig who’s asking $2000 for a pig head dipped in shellac…and I’m fairly certain that those chanel eyes are knock-offs.
March 29, 2011 at 2:57 pm
I seemed to miss the alternate ending, the one where the animal heads were mounted and had fake chanel earrings stabbed into their eyes.
March 29, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Have you read animal farm? If not, that’s what this piece is about. If so, you can probably tell that this is a pile of crap.
March 29, 2011 at 12:49 pm
That was nearly word for word what I thought when I read that sentence. kudos for getting there well before I did!
March 29, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Reminds me more of Lord of the Flies. Sucks to your ass-mar!
March 30, 2011 at 12:40 pm
THIS is what my thoughts were. She should have gone with Lord of the Flies. A nice little spear sticking out from behind the piece would have been PERFECTION!
March 29, 2011 at 11:24 am
New catagory. Steampork!
March 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm
With sparkles, even!
March 29, 2011 at 11:03 am
I mean, I get the sentiment behind the piece, but it’s fucking ugly.
March 29, 2011 at 11:07 am
I find it to be more frightening than ugly…
March 29, 2011 at 4:39 pm
It’s frightening AND ugly. (and stupid & pointless & disgusting & batshit insane)
March 29, 2011 at 6:09 pm
not just that……… I WAS EATING DAMN IT *sigh* guess this is my daily dietary suppressant ala regretsy
March 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm
There’s sentiment behind the piece?
Wait a week or two, there will be SCENT behind the piece. And probably some maggots.
March 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm
The artist’s nickname means “thank you” in Finnish. I think this is more of a “no thank you.”
March 29, 2011 at 11:04 am
Can someone find his other ear?
March 29, 2011 at 11:05 am
I can pick one up at the pet store.
March 29, 2011 at 11:09 am
GUESS WHAT I FOUND HIS OTHER EAR.
March 29, 2011 at 12:00 pm
It was made into a silk purse.
March 29, 2011 at 12:03 pm
my dog is chewing on it
March 29, 2011 at 2:16 pm
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March 29, 2011 at 11:05 am
This is where nightmares originate.
March 29, 2011 at 11:05 am
- Friends, Romans, Countrymen – lend me your Ears!
- Here ya go – keep it, I’m just going to resin the rest of the pig’s head and sell it as art to some derp anyway.
March 29, 2011 at 11:05 am
I FOUND THE OTHER EAR!!
March 29, 2011 at 11:05 am
They must be using the detached ear to make a silk purse because anything, even a bedazzled dead mouse, has to be better than this. Good Gods!
March 29, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Damn. You already said it.
March 29, 2011 at 11:07 am
What kind of resin? Because it looks like ear wax.
March 29, 2011 at 11:09 am
Polyester it says.
JUST SAY NO TO POLYESTER!
March 29, 2011 at 11:40 am
that’s because the pig is rotting under the resin, I doubt the pig head was properly prepared before the resin bath
March 29, 2011 at 3:03 pm
No shit. Dipping a dead pig head is some kind of resin is NOT how you do taxidermy.
March 29, 2011 at 6:16 pm
I think it’s barbecued, actually. You know, because nothing says “I’m a super edgy, world-changing artist” like wasting food. Just ask Lady Gaga.
March 30, 2011 at 12:41 am
That’s one of the most horrifying sentences I’ve ever read.
March 29, 2011 at 11:07 am
Weird.. Looks a LOT like my ex-husband! *blink*
March 29, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Then he must be related to my xhub, this bares a striking resemblance to mine as well.
Ya’know what that means? We’re cousins by failed-marriage! Hurray! Long lost kind-of-maybe-distant-family, another occasion to drink!
March 29, 2011 at 1:30 pm
How did all three of us marry the same guy? I’m just thankful my kids look like me
March 29, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Amen to that! And you easily could have been married to my ex, he had a bit of a ummm fidelity issue, lol.
March 29, 2011 at 6:49 pm
This whole comment and reply section MADE MY MUTHA’ FUCKIN’ NIGHT.
Thank you
March 29, 2011 at 11:07 am
I like the full description in the listing:
“thank you for looking at my AUCTION”
Mmm, can’t even be arsed to come up with fresh bullshit when it wouldn’t sell on ebay.
March 29, 2011 at 5:00 pm
My favorite part was the next part of that sentence – “you are WONDERFUL!!!!” I looked at this seller’s other listings, & was surprise to find no more rotting corpses. Just “abstract paintings” aka “my preschooler’s fingerpaintings”, such as “The Day I Found Happy” aka “The Day I Finally Got a Prescription for Vicodin”.
March 31, 2011 at 9:23 pm
I’m sorry, but where I come from, happiness involves money. Lots and lots of money.
That really DOES look like something one of my kids wouyld’ve drawn in art class. In Headstart.
March 29, 2011 at 11:08 am
It would look great hanging on your child’s bedroom wall or office,or even in your church!
March 29, 2011 at 11:13 am
The perfect gift for the rabbi or iman in your neighborhood!
March 29, 2011 at 12:03 pm
You mean the Iman married to David Bowie?
March 29, 2011 at 12:30 pm
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March 29, 2011 at 11:46 am
It would be a great candidate for “View it in a Room.”
March 29, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Yes! I very badly need to view all dead animals in a room, while I continue to not buy them.
March 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm
Yeah! and those creepy-ass dead things from a few posts back would need to be included, of course.
March 29, 2011 at 6:22 pm
How about a new Etsy Treasury, “Badly Preserved Dead Things I Wouldn’t Touch With a Ten Foot Pole”.
Or maybe a “Things That Will Eventually Smell Rancid” Treasury?
I think this Porkapocalypse and “Sleepy Mice” would both work in these Treasuries.
March 29, 2011 at 11:08 am
I bet this is exactly what George Orwell had in mind when he wrote Animal Farm!
I never thought there would be anything that would put me off bacon, but after viewing this…..
March 29, 2011 at 11:09 am
True story- I grew up in Anchorage, Alaska and I worked in the yearly haunted house back when I was in high school. One year our sponsor was the local grocery store and we had access to their meat department “throw-aways”. We got a whole pig’s head.
After the second day, it stank so bad that we had to throw it out. But nobody wanted to touch it. Someone brought in a clear resin thing and doused it.
By the way, I graduated from high school 24 years ago. I think this is the same pig.
March 29, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Upcycled, vintage, resin covered pig head.
March 29, 2011 at 11:09 am
Two words:
FASHION VICTIM
– You’re welcome.
March 29, 2011 at 12:07 pm
yeah i’m sure those are genuine chanel earrings
March 29, 2011 at 11:10 am
Don Corleone approved.
March 29, 2011 at 11:10 am
I always wondered why I only got a C on my Animal Farm book report in Freshman English. If I had cut a pig’s head off, let it rot for three weeks, then sprayed lacquer all over it I would have gotten an A easily. Also a referral to a psychiatrist.
March 29, 2011 at 11:11 am
“Just in time for Passover.”
A woman of my acquaintance is an Egyptian pagan and has moved in with a man she claims is an Orthodox Jew. Every time they eat at home she posts pictures on Facebook and makes it sound like she’s having the time of her life.
And invariably it includes pork products.
March 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm
If it’s pork, and not a turkey or soy fake-out, he can’t be Orthodox. Reformed, certainly, but not Orthodox.
March 29, 2011 at 5:33 pm
The Unorthodox Orthodox
March 29, 2011 at 11:11 am
Needs more apple.
March 29, 2011 at 12:16 pm
Sad Octagon wants more apple.
March 29, 2011 at 11:11 am
A few things:
-I don’t remember them jamming Coco Chanel earrings into each other’s eyes in Animal Farm, though maybe I read the wrong version.
-This work of art is THE reference to the book, according to the person’s description.
-Um…what quote is one of their laws? There’s no quote in the description!
March 29, 2011 at 11:29 am
you can see the quote in one of the other pictures, which also shows that very low on the list of problems with this is that the artist’s sense of scale is WAY off. The whole thing is 36″x36″ with huge lettering around a fetal pig (or maybe just a piglet?)head. The head itself is the size of a cat’s head stuck in the middle of a 3 foot square canvas.
March 29, 2011 at 11:33 am
Piglet! You mean Pooh’s friend was killed for some crappy art project?!
[Oh...now I feel like ridiculous for not having gone to look at the other pics.
In my defense, I had just finished a Sunrise Subway Sandwich (or whatever the fuck it is) and my hands smelled of bacon and ham.]
March 31, 2011 at 12:14 am
To quote Krieger from a recent episode of Archer: “Aww, Pigley…”
March 29, 2011 at 11:11 am
This reminds me of something I saw once where someone was trying to sell their “art” piece, where they baked a real pig head for like 4 months in their oven, then covered it in a sealant. x_x I really hope that wasn’t on Etsy…. I have no idea where I heard it… but they wanted like $2000 for it, too.
March 29, 2011 at 11:17 am
You mean this: http://www.regretsy.com/2010/11/23/i-never-sausage-a-thing/ ?
March 29, 2011 at 11:19 am
Maybe both heads are “in for the long hall”.
Right next to the Spockalope wall hanging:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/70893865/spockolope-wall-hanging?ref=sr_gallery_16&ga_search_query=Spock&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
March 29, 2011 at 11:26 am
Okay, the Spockalope is HILARIOUS.
March 29, 2011 at 11:26 am
That’s awesome! :O
March 29, 2011 at 12:00 pm
fahk me! spockalope is amazing.
March 29, 2011 at 12:24 pm
This is so full of win that it reset my Phaser to “Vibrate”.
March 29, 2011 at 12:35 pm
@BadassLactatingHoneyBadger:
“You go slow, be gentle. It’s no one-way street…you know how you feel and that’s all. It’s how the girl feels too. Don’t press.” – Captain Kirk
March 29, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Did you read? Spockalope is dishwasher and microwave safe! So the whole Star trek 4 death scene thing was faked?????
March 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm
@testanimal: OH! I recalled that but assumed it was the same guy, but no. Not even close. Now that we have two to compare I have to say, I think that “Ham” was an exquisitely done pig’s-head-on-a-wall! It was detailed (two ears plus discernable features!) and even-toned. Looked like a candy apple. This one shows very poor workmanship.
March 29, 2011 at 11:11 am
I’m hearing a line from “To Kill a Mockingbird”: “Po-rrrk?”
Scout Finch at least got to dress as the ham and didn’t have to wear a pig’s head.
This looks like something that would hung on a fencepost as a warning to a neighboring farmer.
March 29, 2011 at 11:34 am
Does that make this the Gregory Peck of the Day?
March 29, 2011 at 11:12 am
what a waste, that head could have made some delicious scrapple.
March 29, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Or head cheese…
March 29, 2011 at 11:12 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 29, 2011 at 11:14 am
I’m getting more of a “Lord of the Flies” vibe than “Animal Farm”.
Those Chanel earrings sure make it classy though!
March 29, 2011 at 11:41 am
That was what I thought when I saw it too.
March 29, 2011 at 11:14 am
At least she didn’t reference Charlotte’s Web.
March 29, 2011 at 6:28 pm
That’s some pig
March 29, 2011 at 11:15 am
I had a test on “Animal Farm” when I was in high school. I got the question about the Chanel earrings wrong.
March 29, 2011 at 11:17 am
“The pigs on the farm take over and write down their laws on the barn wall.”
Laws written on barn wood, perfectly legit!
March 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm
You mean like this?
March 29, 2011 at 6:29 pm
You should totally sell that print on etsy. The hipsters would be all over it like resin on pig skin.
March 29, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Confound it, Schlady, you beat me to it! But, if the pigs DID write laws on barn wood, perhaps they are already on etsy, selling craponbarnwood in secret…
March 29, 2011 at 11:18 am
I hope both that poor pig and Coco haunt this artist.
March 29, 2011 at 11:19 am
She missed the part about having a revolution before the pigs started walking on two legs, though.
Orwell is so poorly understood these days.
March 29, 2011 at 11:19 am
Cheaper than the last one featured here (http://www.regretsy.com/2010/11/23/i-never-sausage-a-thing/, for those of you trying to forget), but much lower quality. I’d rather pay the extra $500 and get both ears intact.
How many preserved pig heads do we need to find before we can call it an Etsy trend?
March 29, 2011 at 11:43 am
http://www.etsy.com/listing/63246535/pig-heads?ref=sr_gallery_19&ga_search_query=pig%26%2339%3Bs+head&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_page=0&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=
What could be more perfect than pictures of FRESH pigs heads to go with the preserved ones hanging on your wall.
What a cute abattoir!
March 29, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Just what every abattoir needs, whimsicle fuckery.
March 29, 2011 at 12:29 pm
It’s missing something, though…something…je ne sais quoi…
Like Lysol.
March 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Pig heads, pig heads!
Roly poly pig heads!
Pig heads, pig heads!
Eat them up, YUM!
Y’all join in any time, m’kay?
March 29, 2011 at 4:01 pm
They don’t wear earrings
Or one-armed sweaters
They don’t glue octopi
to their barn-wood drums
March 29, 2011 at 5:37 pm
I took a Pighead out to see a movie:
didn’t have to pay to get it in!
March 29, 2011 at 9:53 pm
Mind reader!
(Joins in) Pig heads, pig heads!
Eat them up, YUM!
March 29, 2011 at 11:20 am
All etsy crafts are equally fucking bat shit crazy, but some etsy crafts are more bat shit crazy than others.
March 29, 2011 at 11:20 am
Am i the only one thinking that most of the “art” in her shop looks like she force fed a 5 year old a bag of sugar and duct taped paintbrushes to it’s hands?
March 29, 2011 at 11:41 am
She must let her kids go crazy on this shit.
What is with the snowmen robots? And the awful everything?
March 29, 2011 at 12:02 pm
And then there is this piece, named “Does Time Really Swan”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/14176423/does-time-really-swan
I hope the Pigs don’t go after the Swan.
March 29, 2011 at 12:14 pm
It looks like the swan vomited upon the canvas after seeing the pig’s head.
March 29, 2011 at 6:19 pm
Jenius! I am blocking out some “art time” for my 3 year old tomorrow. Money, money, money…
March 29, 2011 at 11:20 am
Don’t know much about resin-ing, but if it wasn’t properly preserved first, won’t it start to rot from the inside out and build up enough gas and pressure to explode??
I once tried to resin a real potato (for a couch potato thingy) which did INDEED explode after a couple weeks. It wasn’t pretty.
March 29, 2011 at 11:22 am
That sounds excitingly disgusting.
March 29, 2011 at 12:44 pm
I hope it explodes on her before she sells it! Watch out for random flying chanel earrings!
March 29, 2011 at 1:01 pm
I’m sure the smell will be unique, though!
Then she can bottle it and sell *that* on Etsy!
March 29, 2011 at 1:12 pm
Exactly what I was thinking
Let’s hope the etsy gods are listening.
March 29, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Send it as a present to the etsy headquarters. And hope it explodes there or just makes the place stink like a rotting corpse when they open the box.
March 30, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Snack time for the chickens!
March 29, 2011 at 11:28 am
I feel a Mythusters-like experiment coming on!!
*runs off to buy a sack of potatoes and a tarp*
March 29, 2011 at 11:30 am
“And, in other news: a tragic explosion caused by resined potatoes claims the life of a beloved fan of Regretsy.
Convo me for Steampunktopus coffins and vintage unique handmade paper flowers.”
March 29, 2011 at 11:58 am
Peelie, I was thinking the same thing. Just because you pour resin on something doesn’t mean it won’t decompose any further!
March 29, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Why that makes me think of Saw?
March 29, 2011 at 11:21 am
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! It looks like it was basted in BBQ sauce.
March 29, 2011 at 11:26 am
Gah. Why’d you have to make me think briefly that it might be delicious?
March 29, 2011 at 11:21 am
Steampork is the new Steampunk.
March 29, 2011 at 11:24 am
I want to see a Steampunk version of Pigs in Space now.
March 29, 2011 at 5:39 pm
DUNE with Muppets!
March 29, 2011 at 11:21 am
l’chaim!
March 29, 2011 at 11:27 am
Oh God.
That is some serious nightmare fuel.
March 29, 2011 at 11:28 am
And somewhere, in his grave, George Orwell is spinning like a top.
March 29, 2011 at 11:46 am
Like this kind of George Orwell top?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/48401348/1984-t-shirt-george-orwell-doublethink?ref=sr_gallery_34&ga_search_query=george+orwell+&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
Or this one:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/57155060/4-legs-good-2-legs-bad-in-blue-on-black?ref=sr_gallery_31&ga_search_query=george+orwell+&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
March 29, 2011 at 11:28 am
“Can you think of any greedy pigs out there running the show today?”
When I’m paying $2000 for art, I don’t want a homework assignment!!
March 29, 2011 at 11:30 am
The amount of pretentiousness per square inch is astounding. I hope this work comes with a free cyanide pill, because the fucker who purchases this deserves to die.
March 29, 2011 at 11:31 am
I can’t even come up with something snarky. All I can say is, What the Fuck is wrong with people????
March 29, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Neither can I. All I keep thinking is: “Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t thr-huruubluup!”
March 29, 2011 at 11:36 am
Coco Chanel said that when your outfit is complete, you should look in a mirror and take one thing off.
I think that earring should have thought harder about what to remove.
March 29, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Poor little Chanel earring. All glitzed up and no place to sow.
March 29, 2011 at 11:37 am
This would be the perfect conversation starter when my library book discussion group reads Animal Farm this summer! Let me just get started on the most ridiculous grant proposal ever & see if I can come up with that $2K. Maybe I can cut & paste from that awesome description / lit crit.
March 31, 2011 at 9:45 pm
If it helps,Ignatz, she takes CASH and will ship free!
I’m beginning to wonder if she’s a low-level Mafia Don trying to dispose of a body.
“Why did you kill the pig, Gamboni?”
“He was gonna squeel, dammit!”
March 29, 2011 at 11:37 am
All I can do is imagine how bad that thing smells (resin or not), and it makes me feel like vomiting.
March 29, 2011 at 11:37 am
The fucking prices she lists this shit for oh my god it is awful.
March 29, 2011 at 11:38 am
This is so worth two grand. The missing ear, the teeth, the thick spackle-like glaze of god knows what…it just says “literature” to me. What a perfect piece for my library.
March 29, 2011 at 11:39 am
“Since everything is in our heads, we had better not lose them.” – Coco Chanel (actual quote)
March 29, 2011 at 11:52 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 29, 2011 at 11:42 am
I think the most disturbing part is the fact it looks the pig is mounted on an old tupperware lid, complete with mold.
But if she would put in a voice box that croaks redrum so I can mail it to my mother in law she so has a deal..
March 29, 2011 at 11:44 am
okay this isn’t related to this picture (which, btw, is horrid) but i have to share. i made a collection on etsy under a spanish title that roughly translates to “something stupid”. i put in it things that just dumb. one of the items i chose was an old hay hook being sold as a key hanger (nothing like tripping over your shoes and being impaled through the eye by a rusty hay hook!)
the seller of the hay hook added me to her “circle”. i can only assume she doesn’t read spanish.
(*^_^*)
March 29, 2011 at 11:45 am
1. Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
2. Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
3. No animal shall wear clothes.
4. Animals covered in shellac and mounted on a wall are fucking scary.
You’re welcome.
March 29, 2011 at 11:48 am
Derplicious.
March 29, 2011 at 11:54 am
Is this more or less wrong than the original pig’s head:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64755279/pig-man-clay-sculpture?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_search_query=pig%26%2339%3Bs+head&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=
March 29, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Thank God only one was made!
March 29, 2011 at 12:36 pm
That we know of, anyway.
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!
March 29, 2011 at 1:29 pm
That looks like a cross between Quark and Alf.
March 29, 2011 at 11:55 am
You know you have been on Regretsy too long when the dead pig head with earring eyes is normal, but the fact they missed the point of Orwell’s Animal Farm bothers you more.
March 29, 2011 at 4:05 pm
I was embarrassed as a child when my mom explained to me the symbolism behind Animal Farm. I felt like a total doofus for missing the true meaning of the book, even though I was in grade school.
March 29, 2011 at 11:58 am
HOW IS THIS ART. I DONT MEAN TO SCREAM BUT I CANT HELP MYSELF IT IS INVOLUNTARY AT THIS POINT.
March 29, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 29, 2011 at 12:08 pm
My first thought was that the head was slathered in BBQ sauce. My second thought was that I need some coleslaw.
March 29, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm
Is it just me? I think I’ve seen this before, and I can’t imagine I would have seen it anywhere else but on Regretsy.
March 29, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Found it! Although the older one looks much less…decayed. Ick. Truly two very similar original pieces that will make your house guests question your soundness.
March 29, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Sorry Didn’t mean to bold. Obviously someone failed Computers in high school…
March 29, 2011 at 12:38 pm
I’m holding out for a mustard-based, Carolina style disembodied pig head.
March 29, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Don’t forget the vinegar!
“For added preserving.”
March 29, 2011 at 1:17 pm
This one looks like it could use a little more preserving. Or at least stuffed in a bag and tossed over the hill with the rest of the garbage parts.
March 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm
If I won the lottery….
I’d fill my house with resin-covered pig heads.
March 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm
YEAH! This one is fabulous compared to today’s! Gorgeous candy-like coating, perfect preservation… it’s tasteful and expertly made. We didn’t think that at the time, but ya live and ya learn
March 29, 2011 at 12:22 pm
I love that one of the tags is “still life.”
March 29, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Does this person know anything about preserving animals? $2K for a rotten pig head and a box of maggots… NO THANKS!
March 29, 2011 at 4:08 pm
You’re paying for the brand, not the product.
March 29, 2011 at 12:38 pm
I can sort of picture someone stuck with the clean-up after a VERY drunken pig roast. Conversation with self would go something like, “What the fuck am I supposed to do with this goddamn head? Waaaaait a minute! I remember seeing a bunch of shellac in the garage when I was looking for more mezcal. I can so make some money off of this bitch! Lemme just wipe some of the vomit off….”
Only way I can figure this went down.
March 29, 2011 at 12:43 pm
And then it got upchuck…cycled.
March 29, 2011 at 12:40 pm
Well it’s not worth getting if it’s missing an ear! What’s the point of buying an incomplete pig?!
Actually, I’m a bit curious on how the ear was lost, they’re kinda attached to the pig pretty well….
March 29, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Seller is using it as a bookmark for her copy of Animal Farm?
March 29, 2011 at 12:48 pm
That’s fucked up.
March 29, 2011 at 12:52 pm
This must have been rejected as a replacement for the book report.
March 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm
So, the pigs are really seizing the power? Or is this rather the lunatics taking over the asylum?
March 29, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Ugh, well this at least saves me the task of figuring out what to cook for dinner tonight. Definitely not pork.
Now if someone could make cookies like as disgusting as this, I’ll be able to stick to my diet easily.
March 29, 2011 at 1:13 pm
spockerella, i love that your avatar looks queasy!
March 29, 2011 at 1:05 pm
$2000? The creepy butcher down the road leaves these on my doorstep for no cost.
March 29, 2011 at 1:11 pm
George Orwell must be doing cartwheels, on another note, I showed this to a couple of friends of mine (one happens to be a taxidermist, the other a mortician) and both threw up in their mouths a little bit…
March 29, 2011 at 4:07 pm
I’m a doctor, thus not easily grossed out usually. This, however, got my morning sickness going again.
March 29, 2011 at 10:10 pm
hee hee… Your name makes me giggle, because I know another “vuva owner” but he’s a man! My buddy restores old cars. He has 2 antique Volvos, one from 1972 when they were super-duper-curvy like old Rolls’(Rollses?) and it’s poppy red.
So anyway, his mom said she ran into an old acquaintance of the family, and the guy asked her,
“So, does John still have that gorgeous, big, shiny red vulva?!”
March 29, 2011 at 1:11 pm
i find myself wishing it had a top hat and monocle
March 29, 2011 at 1:20 pm
And big Granpa dentures. The wind-up chattering kind.
March 29, 2011 at 1:55 pm
hahaaa!! totally
March 29, 2011 at 4:06 pm
And that it could sing, like a Billy Bass.
March 30, 2011 at 10:42 am
But instead of music, it just makes the cloverfield monster noise…
March 29, 2011 at 6:44 pm
I would do that in photoshop for you, but just glancing at it when the page refreshes is more than enough viewing for me.
March 29, 2011 at 1:13 pm
I rarely scream when viewing regretsy, but I yelped when the image loaded!
March 29, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Dearie, slapping a decaying pigs head on a piece of canvas, does not make it “outsider” art.
Unless, of course you’re going by the definition given in The Simpsons. “It could be by a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee.”
March 29, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Frippin’ Chaim Soutine wannabes! Do it right, for chrissake!
http://www.arthistoryguide.com/Chaim_Soutine.aspx
March 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm
I just can’t stop wondering what kind of glue would stick a pig’s head solidly to a canvas. You don’t want to shell out two grand on this, only to have the head tumble into your breakfast cereal one morning.
March 29, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Maybe that’s how the ear went missing.
March 29, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 29, 2011 at 1:24 pm
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
March 29, 2011 at 1:34 pm
putting the ham into shambolic since 2011
March 29, 2011 at 1:36 pm
This looks like the kind of thing that, within three days of bringing it into your house, will result in your family going crazy and murdering each other because the screaming demon pig told them to do it.
No. Thanks.
March 29, 2011 at 1:43 pm
This is disgusting… I wouldn’t take it even if it came with $2000…
March 29, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Any greedy pigs? Uh, click on the Etsy About page and see them all wearing white lab coats. There’s a whole building full of them.
I want to know if the mate to your lost Chanel earring is now being worn in one ear while the Ear That Fell Off While I Was Preserving It is being worn on the other ear (or AS the other ear)?!?
March 29, 2011 at 2:25 pm
That’s just plain fucking disgusting.
March 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm
You lost the other ear? How the fuck do you loose an ear? It’s not like a shoe, it’s an ear! It’s attached! That pick looks like it’s been soaked in Gorilla Glue, Modge Podge, and bile.
March 29, 2011 at 2:42 pm
If this were listed on eBay, it would have been taken down by now for violating the Chanel trademark.
March 29, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Ok, I’ll admit, I might have been spending too much time with my Playstation lately (being home with bronchitis sucks!), but that thing looks like something that should be roaming the streets of Silent Hill, and not hanging on a wall.
Also, I don’t think polyester resin will successfully “preserve” something that started rotting before you slathered goo on it…
Just a thought.
March 29, 2011 at 3:47 pm
If it were on Silent Hill, it would probably not have Chanel earrings for eyes. AND it could never sneak up on you, because your little broken radio would buzz to high heaven if it got too close. I do feel like taking a chainsaw to it, though!
March 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm
IMO this less Animal Farm than World of Warcraft:
http://www.wowwiki.com/Rotting_Agam%27ar
March 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm
They should have been Dior earrings; after Galliano’s little faux-pas then this would REALLY be (in)appropriate for Passover!
March 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm
HK, I needed a little bit of warning on this one.
I was eating some delicious chicken pot pie and caught sight of this and nearly threw up some chicken bits.
Actually I should thank you, I can probably make a fortune selling those regurgitated chicken bits as art on Etsy!
March 29, 2011 at 3:47 pm
At least you weren’t eating pork.
March 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm
This is the stuff of nightmares.
And it also reminds me of this old farmer’s market on the highway by my parent’s house; they used to do pig roasts every weekend. And I say used to because they closed down due to asbestos. So now I’m going to associate the two, forever, in my own personal hell.
March 29, 2011 at 3:26 pm
When I was eight years old, I once hard-boiled an egg for several hours, having been told that this would harden it enough to ensure long-term preservation. The egg was coated in varnish, painted with stripes, and mounted in a wire cradle shaped like the legs and wings of a bee, complete with Blu-Tack eyes covered in black paint. This nasty contraption survived in the kitchen for about a year, then went off without warning whilst my father was making himself some coffee.
The results were Lovecraftian – when questioned about his sprint from the kitchen, my dad “responded feebly, but it could be seen that the mephitic blast from the crypt had in some way gravely sickened him”. I think something similar happened in The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.
That was from one hen’s egg. I think there’s a reason why honest, wholesome taxidermy is (relatively) popular, whereas dried and varnished critter parts are less so.
March 29, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Amazing tale! I would have thought that egg would last.
I’d love to have video of your dad at the moment of the pop!
March 29, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Is there a trend I’ve missed? Since when did people start surrounding themselves with dead things? Other than Ed Gein, I mean. I’ve always been of the opinion (backed up by science) that dead things are unclean, and should be removed from the house a bit faster than an Etsy sale takes.
March 29, 2011 at 3:38 pm
When I first saw the red ham pig head, a little part of me died inside. Seeing this Coco one made that little part rise from the grave and kill the rest of me for looking at it.
March 29, 2011 at 3:47 pm
Knowing that there are TWO pig’s heads covered in resin on Etsy does not make me feel any better about the future of the human race.
March 29, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Just be glad she decided to make a piece about Animal Farm…if that seller decided to interpret 1984, I imagine she would have mounted her older brother’s noggin in the name of ‘art’
March 29, 2011 at 4:05 pm
The Lord of the Flies’ Lispy Cousin.
“We just want to have fun, Simon-Silly Buns.”
March 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm
March 31, 2011 at 1:52 pm
That was the first thing I thought of when I read that the creator lost one ear while making this… Thing.
March 29, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Okay, I’ve accepted the fact that I am weird. Not eccentric (i don’t have money) but just weird. But I don’t think I’ll ever be weird enough to put that fucking thing in my house.
Maybe if I re-decorated with a Texas Chainsaw Massacre theme…?
March 29, 2011 at 6:08 pm
If you describe your own art as outsider art, it’s not outsider art.
March 29, 2011 at 6:10 pm
If I was that seller, I would be kicking myself, I mean KICKING myself for not thinking of “Coco Charnel.” God that’s perfect. So much more compelling than “Pig’s Head Collage,” which could have been added as a descriptor, or to the tags, so seller would’ve still gotten all the buyers searching for putrefying porkers (another good tag).
With a headline like Coco Charnel, they would have sold it by now.
March 29, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Sorry…it just doesn’t do anything for me without the ear…
March 29, 2011 at 8:00 pm
I cannot believe these people!! I am an artist so trust me when I say this, the worst possible thing you could to do to a decaying object is COVER IT IN RESIN! It doesn’t preserve it. I wish I could beat it into these lunatic’s heads. The object will keep decaying and the gases and liquids produced by the decomp will either leak out of it or create a bomb, so not only will you stink up your house but fuck up your walls and probably kill or give your children cancer. That’s ok though because they will probably need therapy anyway after seeing that thing. STOP COVERING DEAD THINGS IN RESIN! For the love of God, STOP!
March 29, 2011 at 10:20 pm
The first guy baked all the wetness out of his and it looks (compared to this) pretty competently done, so I’m thinking HIS might be ok. THIS, I’m thinking it’ll get halfway to the seller before the couriers worry and report it as suspicious.
March 29, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Ooooooooooooo. Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I work with a lot of dead stuff, and I know for a fact that simply covering this things in resin IS NOT going to preserve it. When it starts oozing all over your living room, you’ll really wish you’d spent that $2,000.00 on new carpets.
March 29, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Makes me wonder. Maybe one of us should buy it, then sue when it rots… but then by Murphy’s Law it would somehow never rot!
March 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm
MMmm…Lechon, (closer look) wait…hurgh! The minute I saw this thing I thought of the pig that my cousin made for her dad’s retirement party. They had built an unsafe pit in their backyard and cooked it there. Even charred and half-eaten, that pig looked WAY better than this one does. I’d show a picture but I’m not sure how to do that.
March 30, 2011 at 2:40 am
Do you think she took the eyes out before she jammed the earrings in? Oh god, this really is disgusting. I think I see green rot and maggots in there, and now I need to throw up.
March 30, 2011 at 6:27 am
Take away the ferocious teeth and glued on shit, kinda reminds me of suday dinner. Mmmm, crackling
March 30, 2011 at 11:31 am
Those earrings had better be knock-offs.
I didn’t know that, about dead things in resin exploding–I’m glad, but at the same time, I was never planning to (A)keep dead vertebrates around or (B) cover them in resin.
March 31, 2011 at 1:53 pm
This is horrifying. I wouldn’t want to be in the middle of staggering my way to the bathroom and seeing this at night.
March 31, 2011 at 2:49 pm
That poor dead pig…being forced to wear fake chanel earrings
March 31, 2011 at 8:50 pm
Oh joy! This artist lives in my area and her other stuff is pretty cool. Maybe she will have an exhibition and I can visit the freaky resin-covered rotten pig head in person!
April 2, 2011 at 2:59 am
I feel faintly traumatised.
July 14, 2011 at 11:19 pm
I want it.