Lumber Support
Oh come on! Do people really think they have wood sprites in their kindling? It’s a branch, not the haunted forest of Mirkwood. I can’t believe anyone . . .
Wait a second.
OMFG
104 comments on Lumber Support
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March 27, 2011 at 4:34 pm
That’s worth even more than if it had The Virgin Mary on it!
March 27, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Shouldn’t that be, “OMFO?”
March 27, 2011 at 4:37 pm
What the what? This shouldn’t be here!
March 27, 2011 at 5:11 pm
I’m a ra-tard….I meant that my comment posted as a reply instead of a stand alone comment, as I commented in the box at the bottom, not the reply box…..shouldn’t have posted here.
Stupid
interwebsinternet.March 27, 2011 at 5:22 pm
They *were* wood sprites. Until they got sliced into many pieces. Now they’re wood chips.
March 27, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Are they tasty with malt vinegar?
March 27, 2011 at 4:35 pm
The one on the top right looks like a fish.
The one below it looks like wood sprite goatse.
March 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm
It does look like a fish! And the one to the right of Oprah looks like Glenda the good witch! Or is that just me?
March 27, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Nope, that was exactly what I thought when I first saw it, too.
March 27, 2011 at 9:30 pm
I suppose it says a lot about me that I noticed the “goatse” spirit before anything else. I also thought it would be cool to have a t-shirt saying, “I was mooned by the Tulip Tree.” But then, it would be so hipster, since no one would know what the fuck I was talking about.
Again.
March 28, 2011 at 9:46 am
Yes but than someone will stop one day and point at you like “OMG!” and there will be Regretsy bonding.
March 27, 2011 at 4:37 pm
I think it’s kinda sweet. Crazy, maybe, but sweet.
March 27, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Yeah, ridiculous story aside I kind of like these. I wouldnt pay actual money for them, but if that happened to me I might pick out a few slices to use as coasters or something.
March 27, 2011 at 7:32 pm
They’d make great coasters.
March 27, 2011 at 9:28 pm
I’m pretty sure the wood spirits would kick your ass if you set your drink on them.
March 27, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I agree, I think it’s lovely. Yes, a little nuts too, but totally cute.
March 27, 2011 at 5:11 pm
I agree. I’d actually pay for some too. Maybe not $6 each, but if they were half that, I’d take half a dozen, paint on them with some watercolors, and used a clear wood sealant to bring out the natural colors. For nature-lovers and those who love fairies (who doesn’t know a little girl, or even an adult who love sprites?), a couple of these would be a unique gift.
Actually, I’d still buy a couple for $6 each, and wish there was some more left.
There’s shit here much weirder than this.
March 27, 2011 at 4:39 pm
There’s one that’s bending over in the bottom left. I guess that one didn’t get the memo.
March 27, 2011 at 4:55 pm
It looks like she’s dropping a baby. Quick, give her a pendant!
March 27, 2011 at 4:40 pm
How fortunate she is to live in a wooded area with lots of trees!
March 27, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Is there a neck of the woods that does not have trees…?
March 27, 2011 at 5:02 pm
The Petrified Forest?
March 27, 2011 at 5:12 pm
The candy cane forrest!
March 27, 2011 at 6:47 pm
Under the lollipop tree?
March 27, 2011 at 9:32 pm
Damn the trees. Ya can’t see the forest for them.
March 27, 2011 at 4:43 pm
You know, I’m not sure that Mother Earth would really appreciate you fractionating one of her Spirit Angels like a lab rat’s brain.
March 28, 2011 at 7:52 am
Plus, I think this pattern originated with a branch TEARING off this poor tree when it was younger. Poor tree likely barely survived. Why would a nature lover want a souvenir of a tree’s anguish?
March 28, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Well, how else would the fairies get in there without tearing a new hole in that tree?
March 28, 2011 at 6:07 pm
By gently opening it up with a well-lubricated wand after dinner, dancing, a little wine and deep kissing? Call me old-fashioned.
March 28, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Fractionating…sheer awsomeness.
March 27, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I’m sorry but I hate Oprah more than anything else in this world…
March 27, 2011 at 5:46 pm
really? i love her as much as my cemented front yard with collection of garden gnomes….
March 27, 2011 at 9:35 pm
Oprah = Megalomaniac of Media Misinformation
I cannot stand her! I’m still getting shit from my Mom, for having my daughter vaccinated against HPV.
Thanks for that preventable cervical cancer Oprah, you big twatwaffle.
March 29, 2011 at 12:38 am
dear god. TWATWAFFLE?
you are now my new favourite person
March 28, 2011 at 7:20 am
Thank you! I can’t stand her either. The incorrect health info (Amongst other misinformed topics) is driving me up the wall.
March 27, 2011 at 4:51 pm
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March 27, 2011 at 4:55 pm
It says she sanded them…
March 27, 2011 at 4:59 pm
You’re right, she does. I’m going to go pour myself another drink. BAC goes up, reading comprehension goes down
March 27, 2011 at 5:57 pm
To be fair, she did have her husband cut them into pieces. But really, would you let this lady have access to power tools?
March 28, 2011 at 7:44 am
OH, “blood alcohol count”… my Regretsified brain was wondering why you were on here during your first birth after a caesarean!
March 27, 2011 at 4:52 pm
And then I gingerly uploaded images of the Spirit Angels onto Etsy along with the Tulip Tree. Then I noticed something extraordinary. Money started appearing inside my Paypal account.
This was not just ordinary money. This money appeared to have the images of great leaders from the past on it. I am currently offering an image with Spirit Angel George Washington for $50.
March 29, 2011 at 12:21 am
Your comment has been voted up 97 times. You need to be voted up 3 more times, then have the count fixed at 100, just because.
March 27, 2011 at 4:56 pm
This reminds me of the Book of Pressed Fairies…
Except that was meant as fiction. I seriously hope this person isn’t being…serious.
March 27, 2011 at 5:00 pm
The book of pressed fairies was fiction?! Next you’re going to tell me Santa is fiction, too!
March 27, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Santa’s a lie, sorry.
I’m a bitch like that.
March 27, 2011 at 6:45 pm
Is Santa cake?
March 27, 2011 at 9:36 pm
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/12/santa-shockers.html
No lie.
March 27, 2011 at 5:01 pm
I’m liking the goatse one. Sorta turns me on, and not in a good way.
March 28, 2011 at 6:37 pm
March 27, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Where are the Keebler elves?
March 27, 2011 at 5:17 pm
YOU get a spirit! And YOU get a spirit! And YOU get a spirit!
March 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm
i went straight to oprah’s favorite things, too.
March 27, 2011 at 7:25 pm
As if there is any way not to.
March 27, 2011 at 5:20 pm
The one on the bottom left is telling her to kiss its ass.
March 27, 2011 at 5:27 pm
One craftard’s spirit, is another’s whimsicle rot.
March 27, 2011 at 5:44 pm
The Honey Badger is the baddest animal in the animal kingdom of animals! You must be SUPER BA to have this miracle as an avatar. I bow to thee, BLHB.
March 27, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Honey Badger thanks you, and remember:
Even Badgers lactate.
If you’ll excuse me, I need to adjust my facinator, and devour some nasty-assed bee larvae.
March 27, 2011 at 7:15 pm
The honey badger doesn’t give a shit. Look at him! He’s getting stung and he doesn’t give a shit!
March 27, 2011 at 5:28 pm
I’m a nature nerd (though not in a “mystical bullshyt” kind of way) so I kind of like these. But I’d probably like them better without the alleged wood spirits.
March 27, 2011 at 6:09 pm
I think they’re really neat, too. Especially the artistic potential in them. Not going to buy them as wood spirits either, though.
March 27, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Your “OMFG” made me spit-take my Coke.
March 27, 2011 at 5:49 pm
this lady is on some powerful drugs, i’m pretty sure.
March 29, 2011 at 12:25 am
You’re just jealous because you aren’t.
March 27, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay. I chop small sprites and I derp all day.
March 27, 2011 at 9:38 pm
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
March 27, 2011 at 6:14 pm
It looks like the one that’s bent over has a target on its butt.
March 27, 2011 at 10:37 pm
i think you and i are seeing the same thing… . i think the bent over one has skants on
March 27, 2011 at 7:05 pm
The only way I want a Sprite is with whiskey. Make it a double.
March 27, 2011 at 7:06 pm
I see the angels and fish… I also see that your tree had a nasty parasite, WHICH IS WHY IT DIED AND YOU HAD TO CUT IT DOWN. Thanks for sharing the love, girl.
March 27, 2011 at 7:51 pm
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March 27, 2011 at 8:40 pm
is more interesting than that
(or at least less gross)
March 27, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Aesthetically, not offensive, but when you add the description and the price tag, you have to pay ME to take one.
March 27, 2011 at 8:19 pm
I didnt know Oprah was a spirit in a tree, I learn something new everyday!
March 27, 2011 at 9:12 pm
bloody expensive kindling really…
March 27, 2011 at 9:31 pm
From what mythology I recall, the tree spirits were dryads and were the living embodiment of the tree. I’m thinking they’re dead and dismembered… let’s see her write a happy story about her fairy coasters now.
March 27, 2011 at 11:46 pm
The darker wood is obviously due to a healing response of the tree to a severe cut in the bark at one time. Appropriately, the “Goatse”-type slices are the ones where the cut was deepest and as the new bark sealed off the wound, it also went under the old, unharmed wood. Simple.
And by the way, you could now grow these “Wood Spirits”. A tree and a knife and voilá: $$$
March 28, 2011 at 6:41 pm
Oh fine, go ahead rip all the magick out of it, will you?
March 27, 2011 at 11:50 pm
Am I drunk? What the fuck is she selling? the story?…
March 27, 2011 at 11:54 pm
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March 28, 2011 at 12:00 am
Hey, is she glued an octupus onto a few of them and called them “handmade” she could get at least $50 apiece for each of them.
I would like to get the on with the “sprite” mooning everyone!
March 28, 2011 at 12:32 am
At least this has nothing to do with vaginae (I was going to type vaginas but auto correct saved me, Plural Vagina!!!!).
March 28, 2011 at 3:35 am
“Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
Where some bitch won’t cut and sand…”
March 28, 2011 at 6:47 am
well they might have been wood sprites until she carved them up into little bits and fucking killed them – and sweet jesus, the description is pretty major fuckery
March 28, 2011 at 6:59 am
Looks like a Bullshit Spirit to me.
March 28, 2011 at 7:22 am
“Insivible spirits and souls”?
Yeesh, when I die, I hope my ghosty self won’t get trapped in a tree then sold off on Etsy….
March 28, 2011 at 7:55 am
Isn’t the whole product idea based on the VISIBILITY of this particular maimed sprite?
March 28, 2011 at 4:22 pm
So not only is the seller holding up souls, she is also contradicting!
March 28, 2011 at 8:30 am
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March 28, 2011 at 10:18 am
You used to not get anything over the weekends. Now, you get Classic Regretsy with comments based on a year of additional fuckery.
March 28, 2011 at 8:46 am
The one on the bottom left corner looks as if there’s a guy bending forward, flashing us his bare butt xDDD
March 28, 2011 at 9:47 am
WHAT WOOD OPRAH DO ?
March 28, 2011 at 9:37 pm
Barn Wood Oprah Do?
March 28, 2011 at 10:31 am
Ha, I bought one of these when they were first feature here. The seller was really sweet. I still have it on my bookcase.
March 28, 2011 at 11:51 am
Owww this is CODIT!!! Or Compartmentalization Of Decay In Trees!!! This is totally explained by the science! huahuahauha and is totally normal… I had to study a little of this last season. This happens when fungi enters the tree and cause decay. The tree produce ‘walls’ to protect herself. The darker color on the walls are probably the phenolic compounds that the tree produces to protect herself against the fungi. Here is some information on it: http://www.bartlett.com/resources/Compartmentalization-Of-Decay-In-Trees.pdf
So she sells slices of tree branchs decayed by fungi!!!!!!!!
March 28, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Geez, Erika, wow. Suddenly I understand! This was caused by natural processes, not actual metaphysical sprites! You’ve convinced me not to be an airhead with the power of your science and your enthusiasms.
March 28, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Good for you! I love CODIT.
March 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm
TL;DR… It had to be said.
March 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm
all i see are hitler staches.
March 28, 2011 at 2:32 pm
I’m seeing Holly Hobby little girls. I had a three dimensional portrait kit when I was a little girl. Either that, or Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie.
March 29, 2011 at 6:41 pm
no one even noticed “evolving pacmac”? In the top right, is pacman with fins. He has evolved into a practical and organic form. Sell THAT on etsy.
March 29, 2011 at 6:43 pm
“Trees take a huge amount of management and money”…
There must be a wealthy shadow government of trees striving to populate the globe with trees. They must be especially wealthy and active where I live…fucking trees are everywhere! Like they grow on trees or something…
March 30, 2011 at 2:51 pm
And here I thought it was another “sculpture” wooden version of vagina art!
Goes to show were my mind lingers.
April 21, 2011 at 8:20 am
Just thought I’d let you all know I’m off my meds now, just in case anyone was concerned, though I doubt not. Thanks for the comments well most of them.
Have to say Regresty must have had a really slow day to dredge this one back up. Hopefully ‘R’ next year will see more readership and I’m not featured again due to desperation.
April 21, 2011 at 8:38 am
I have relisted at 2.00, unsanded, hopefully all will sell so that Regresty won’t feel the need to regurgiate this item again.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/41370343/spirit-angel-as-featured-on-regresty