Chestfully Clean
- Submitted by Sabrina
It’s true. Breast milk is awesome! About the only thing it can’t improve is your SPELLING YOU FUCKING LUNATIC.
UPDATE: SELLER IS THE GREATEST SPORT ON THE PLANET. Please go buy soap from her. She has many slections without bodily fluids.
March 22, 2011 at 9:33 am
Can it still be called vegan if it’s breast milk?
March 22, 2011 at 9:37 am
I had the same question.
March 22, 2011 at 9:37 am
Neither breast milk, nor honey would be considered vegan :/
March 22, 2011 at 9:40 am
Oh, and they say milk twice, so I’m assuming there’s some very non-vegan cow’s milk in there too. The only vegan ingredients are oatmeal and….no, that’s it, just oatmeal. Unless there are unlisted ingredients :p
March 22, 2011 at 10:34 am
What if the bees were organic and free range? Would it help if they were unionized?
March 22, 2011 at 12:12 pm
But Miss Fae… there are no “vegan” ingredients, since vegan is the lack of certain ingredients (viz. animal-sourced ones). There are only vegan foods, which means free of animal-sourced ingredients, packaging, or processing materials.
To clarify, I’m not a vegan, but I know a few.
March 22, 2011 at 5:20 pm
I wonder about the bees, too, DysfunctioningUnit. Maybe they were found in a mason jar.
March 23, 2011 at 7:48 pm
Actually, breast milk can be vegan. It’s all about consent. Cows can’t consent to having their milk taken from them for our consumption, but human women can. So long as they’re down with it being used in soap, it’s vegan. You’re right about honey though.
March 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Indeed. Breast milk would ordinarily be considered vegan. But this seller seems to be pretty loose with the term vegan throughout her store. She labels all her soap as vegan, but uses some ingredients that would not be considered vegan. She also never lists what the “fragrances” and “colors” she uses are. I think she is using “vegan” loosely here to mean “I don’t use cheap crap in my soaps.”
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
The way I have heard it human breast milk counts as vegan because it isn’t exploiting an animal, it is given voluntarily. Assuming they aren’t harvesting it from lactating woman living in the basement against their will I guess. However if you aren’t a baby it’s still batshit crazy.
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
And the human in question can’t have eaten any animal products, either.
March 22, 2011 at 9:57 am
Unless that animal gave consent, right? That’s what I’m waiting for. I’ll be vegan the day cows start asking me to eat them.
March 24, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Ever read Douglas Adams Hitchhiker books? In “Restaurant at the End of the Universe” the cows have been bred with the ability to talk so they can express their consent. They come to the table and tell you which parts of themselves they think will taste the best. The books are hilarious! I totally recommend!
March 22, 2011 at 9:59 am
Come on, Jester, those animals are just asking for it. If they didn’t want to be eaten, why would they dress in meat?
March 22, 2011 at 10:56 am
Dress in meat? Does that mean we’re allowed to eat Lady Gaga?
March 22, 2011 at 11:38 am
Sadie-Ann, I thought that went without saying.
March 22, 2011 at 11:53 am
JesterMephistopheles- It will be just like being at The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, where the cows WANT to be eaten!
March 22, 2011 at 1:47 pm
If you’ve ever been around cows in the morning, before milking, you KNOW they WANT to give that milk. NOW. (You know how they feel if you’ve ever breastfed a child, too.)
March 23, 2011 at 5:16 am
@JesterMephistopheles
I’m also waiting for the day that the
worlduniverse resembles The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.March 22, 2011 at 10:00 am
Who the fuck cares if it’s vegan or not! Rubbing a stranger’s breast milk on your body to get “clean” is like eating a greasy pork sandwich out of a dirty ashtray.
March 22, 2011 at 10:24 am
Wilma-the visual of that will haunt me for the rest of my day!
March 22, 2011 at 11:01 am
Someone else has Weird Science memorized! Awesome!
March 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Any way, where do we get the idea that taking some substance that is healthy when ingested does any thing at all when you rub it all over your body? I have a lot of headaches, should I make a shampoo out of Goody’s Headache Powders?
March 22, 2011 at 6:28 pm
god, i fucking love you, wilma.
March 22, 2011 at 10:36 am
Sorry, I only buy my breast milk from certified organic, free-range dairies.
March 22, 2011 at 10:43 am
I want to know more about the free-range breasts… where do they go? how do you get them back on?
March 22, 2011 at 10:48 am
I’d tour that!
March 22, 2011 at 11:30 am
Why am I envisioning women sitting in beauty parlor chairs reading Ladies Home Journal while giant plungers pump alternatively on each breast and the whole factory sounds like that scene in Willy Wonka when they turn on the Everlasting Gobstopper machine?
March 22, 2011 at 5:17 pm
Would this count?? Though it doesn’t look cruelty free…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjVNlG5cZyQ
March 22, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Yes, that’s what I’ve heard too, but anyone who tries to argue that lactating women aren’t inhumanely exploited for their milk have clearly never seen a lactating woman after her baby starts growing teeth.
Honestly, the whole “milk abuses cows!” thing is beyond retarded in the first place, since lactating cows can get extremely painful (and even lethal) infections if you DON’T milk them.
March 22, 2011 at 10:41 pm
I think it’s because in 99% of cases, when a cow is milked- the calf that she needed to have to make the milk is taken away from her and the calf is made into veal.
I do, however, find milk, eggs and honey the top three least “harmful-to-animal” products.
February 24, 2012 at 1:17 pm
Only 50% or slightly less. The males become veal, less a few who are kept for stud. The females are raised to become part of the herd.
March 23, 2011 at 5:24 am
Well what those people mean is that the cows of today are genetically predisposed to over produce milk. Plus they are milked continuously so their bodies think they have this monster of a calf that never grows up. As long as their fed properly, housed well and allowed to be happy cows no there is nothing cruel. Same thing with chickens, give them the nutrients to make eggs and let them out of those cages. Sadly that’s not always the case. I am not a vegan or vegetarian and I drink cows milk and eat eggs anyway.
March 22, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Funny, did you get consent from that carrot when you cruely ripped it out of the ground and munched it?
March 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Carrot? I don’t eat carrots, that what food eats!
March 23, 2011 at 1:04 am
Vegetable rights and Peace! \/
March 22, 2011 at 9:44 am
It can’t be vegan… can it???
March 22, 2011 at 9:45 am
The breast milk would be vegan, unless they STOLE it from a lactating mother. (Call the La Leche League!!) But the honey would not be… unless bees have learned to consent to the rape of their harvest and I hadn’t heard of it.
March 22, 2011 at 10:16 am
color me very confused…you mean that eating meat or using animal products is vegan if I get consent from the animal??
OY…. I apparently have missed the memo!!
March 22, 2011 at 10:59 am
Yup.
Vegans should neither consume nor use any animal product because that animal cannot give consent. This includes silk, from worms. (I am fuzzy on the use of wool… maybe if the dirty clumps were gathered from thorn bushes instead of shearing them?)
BUT semen, breast milk, and placenta can all be consumed if the producer has given their consent.
March 22, 2011 at 11:35 am
Now we’re venturing into batshit territory.
Wool is wool. If you get it off a sheep by shaving it, why is that less conscientious than harvesting it off of thorns where it’s been ripped out? The sheep didn’t give consent for that either.
March 22, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 1:01 pm
I don’t think consent is the right word. It’s more a concern over whether the animal is being harmed.
Honey is a concern with vegans because the bees produce it for food and end up with a sugar water substitute. Silk is a concern because they boil the silk worms to kill them before they leave the chrysalis (otherwise they’d dissolve the silk with their saliva). Wool is not a big concern because it’s simply shorn off. Eggs are a concern due to how the hens are treated and how the male chicks are disposed. Milk is an issue due to veal.
I’m not a vegan but I’ve been a vegetarian now for 20 years
)
March 22, 2011 at 1:02 pm
Darn premade emoticons! My smiley face with an “o” for a nose turned into a shocked face with a bracket LOL
March 22, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Hilariously, sheep really DO want to be shorn. My aunt keeps a small flock of them for wool she spins into yarn, and when the shears come out in spring, the sheep go running toward them. They love to cool off with a good haircut when the weather warms up.
March 22, 2011 at 3:37 pm
For a very short time I thought killing the silk worms was sad, hey! They have vegan silk where they harvest it after the worm hatches, cool! So the moth gets to hatch and…. live a couple days in captivity before dying of starvation because they lack mouths or anything other than wings and naughty bits. And they lay a kajillion eggs so if you let a hundred hatch and do it then you’ve got 50xkajillion hungry hungry caterpillars to feed and then the mulberry tree goes extinct to avoid being cruel to some bugs, and then they all die horribly because of the vegans. Species killers!
March 22, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I think the issue with sheep is the process called mulesing (wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulesing). Don’t google pix bc they’re super gross. Despite the fact that mulesing is done to prevent the sheep from getting parasites, people think it’s inhumane and abusive (the pictures are really damning). It’s an interesting debate, but I like knitting with wool over cotton because cotton can be a bigger drain on resources (ie: it uses shittons of water). If a sheep spoke to me and said, “PLEASE BITCH, USE MY WOOL,” all would be answered. If we can clone sheep, why can’t we make them talk? DAMNIT DOLLY.
But I have no idea if breast milk is vegan…mostly because I don’t give a fuck, I don’t want someone else’s tittiewater in my mouth or on my body…
March 22, 2011 at 10:31 am
Mmmmmmmm, tasty tasty bee rape.
March 22, 2011 at 10:58 am
Snort!
March 22, 2011 at 11:11 am
I am totally ordering some bee rape in my green tea next time I hit Starbucks.
March 22, 2011 at 11:12 am
Well, if I knew beekeepers were doing that to my honey, I would have given it up a long time ago.
March 22, 2011 at 11:19 am
The La Leche League sounds like a truly awesome Lucha Libre organization. Do they wear wrestling masks while on official business?
March 22, 2011 at 11:25 am
Ahahahaaa it wouldn’t surprise me. Not being a card-carrying member, I cannot claim to know what they do in their private meetings. But I could totally see them breaking down the door of some heathen, formula feeder wearing wrestling masks.
March 22, 2011 at 11:51 am
actually, the la leche league does very good work.
March 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm
I have to disagree. LLL seems to believe that the only valid choices one can make are the ones that agree with the ones they choose. Every one I’ve met treated neither mothers nor children with respect, and felt that only breast feeding was valid, regardless of any maternal or child health considerations, and were willing to go to extremes to enforce their point of view. They don’t do “very good work,” they treat women with pure disrespect bordering on hatred.
March 22, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Actually, most of the LLL reps I’ve come into contact were akin to terrorists. Told me my kids would be stupid, sick, and small if I formula fed and likened formula to rat poison. Sure, tell that to my too-smart-for-his-own-damn-good, 5’1″ tall 10 year old who has been on antibiotics ONCE in his life, and that was post-skin-tag-removal for prevention. Sure, great work, LLL, treating women like they’re assholes and evil for making a decision they know nothing of the background for which said decision is made. SO helpful and altruistic.
February 24, 2012 at 1:27 pm
LL tried to persuade me to breastfeed my baby.
We had adopted her at six months.
March 22, 2011 at 8:15 pm
I physically couldn’t breast feed because I wasn’t producing enough milk to feed my son. So, my options were starvation or formula. I was still told I was a horrible mother for choosing formula.
March 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm
My sister had the same problem. Her son was starving to death. LLL advocates these mothers’ children dying rather than feeding them formula. The LLL is a bunch of pathological idiots and needs to be ignored to the best of our ability.
March 22, 2011 at 8:39 pm
You were a GOOD mother,pryncesscraftsy. You did what was best for your baby. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Some people will try to make you feel like a negligent mother for having painkillers during delivery, or having a caesarean, or using formula, and they don’t seem to care that it may have been medically necessary. People like that piss me off.(And I’m not even a mom, unless the cats count).
March 22, 2011 at 10:15 pm
It would be great if these resources–and the very useful information/education–could exist without the all too frequent judgment coming attached.
March 22, 2011 at 9:49 am
I have nipples. Can you milk me, Greg?
March 22, 2011 at 9:51 am
That totally wasn’t supposed to be attached to your comment. The fuck is this? I’m not even wasted yet…
March 22, 2011 at 10:45 am
So, wait – that old kids rhyme
“Milk, milk, lemonade,
around the corner fudge is made!”
isn’t vegan friendly?
March 22, 2011 at 11:12 am
The milking process was cruelty-free. The child went hungry but no matter – I always feel my cleanest when I’m washing with a stranger’s bodily fluids.
March 22, 2011 at 6:56 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 9:34 am
Sick! Like I’d use soap made from some stranger’s breast milk.
It’d be like me advertising some brownies made from this cookbook: http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/natural-harvest—a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/5198959
hmm…maybe I’m onto something?
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
WOW!! uhmmm WOW!!
March 22, 2011 at 9:45 am
I hate you for reminding me of that. The oysters still make me gag just thinking about it
March 22, 2011 at 9:50 am
Were they Oysters Getyourrocksoffeller?
March 22, 2011 at 10:11 am
The review left by “Tabisa Baggins” –
“I baked this cake for my 11 year old daughter’s birthday party and I have to say it was quite a crowd pleaser! Many of the mothers at the party inquired about how I made the icing so deliciously creamy. Of course, I just replied with a wink and said, “it’s my secret recipe”.”
This just makes me hate all humanity. I don’t think I can ever again eat anything made by someone else.
March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am
I suspect it’s a JOKE.
March 22, 2011 at 10:21 am
I fucking HOPE so. Dear Lord, please let it be a joke.
I might murder someone if they fed me, or my child, semen without my permission. WHO did they get the semen from???!
*vomit*
March 22, 2011 at 10:35 am
Its a real book, a troll comment likely but unfortunately a real book.
March 22, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm
It is WRONG to feed a child semen without a parents’ permission!
March 22, 2011 at 1:05 pm
O.o I’m only eating cake with icing now that I baked myself.
March 23, 2011 at 9:09 am
Thank god I hate frosting. However after this I also hate all other forms of sustenance as well.
March 22, 2011 at 1:28 pm
@waywardtopher: I think Kaseysospacey meant that the comment on the cookbook site about the birthday cake was a troll comment, not yours. That crazy-ass book is real, although I find it hard to believe!
March 22, 2011 at 5:11 pm
as hard to believe as BREAST MILK SOAP?!
March 22, 2011 at 10:40 am
ASdfa;kjsbfd;lehf’wie WWWHHHHYYYYY?
Have you read the reviews? I think they’re my favorite part. I can’t decide if they’re serious or not.
March 22, 2011 at 10:41 am
I just can’t overcome my initial hesitation.
March 22, 2011 at 10:53 am
I am so…. confused by this book… and it’s reviews…
*goes to find more brain bleach*
March 22, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I’m going to be thinking twice about going over to people’s places for dinner now!
March 22, 2011 at 5:28 pm
If you sold the shit on Etsy, you’d make a mint….
March 22, 2011 at 8:18 pm
It may be nutritious, but oh god the taste! Spit! Don’t swallow!
March 23, 2011 at 12:00 am
“Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants.” Umm, restaurants?! I don’t think I’ll ever eat in a restaurant again after clicking on that link. Against all reason though, I’d probably buy this book.
March 23, 2011 at 9:56 am
I’m sure it’s available in every restaurant that has male staff over the age of 14. That being said it doesn’t get anywhere near the food. It’s akin to saying that breastmilk is commonly available at many playgrounds.
March 22, 2011 at 9:36 am
Hey vegans, you can use it multi-purpose!
Feed and wash your baby with one product!
ps – When I look at something and ask myself “Why is it brown and why does it have chunks in it?” I’m not usually looking at soap.
March 22, 2011 at 9:41 am
When I look at something and ask myself “Why is it brown and why does it have chunks in it?” I’m not usually looking at soap.
Or at breast milk, I fervently hope.
March 22, 2011 at 10:04 am
Ahhhhh. I know what you’re referring to . . .
MEATLOAF!
March 22, 2011 at 12:24 pm
I was wondering why no one was bringing that up! Breast milk aside, the color is quite disturbing!
March 22, 2011 at 9:36 am
Wow, I know I could really use more nuteratants. You know, for my varity of alments.
And it’s not VEGAN if it has MILK. Even if it’s your own. I think. I may need to get a Sad Hipster ruling on that one.
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
It’s vegan if you’re giving it to your child. …not sure why you would offer up your breast milk to anyone else…
March 22, 2011 at 10:00 am
Well… there -are- wet nurses. But that’s the thing, with wet nurses it’s the little childrens that consume it. It’s their special delicacy, produced specially for their special little needs. Like dry wall paste and sand.
March 22, 2011 at 1:07 pm
…and semen.
March 22, 2011 at 10:11 am
my dad says he used to take cookies to bed when my mom was nursing. she shrieks and says “no you didn’t!!” he winks and mouths behind her back, “yes i did!”
March 22, 2011 at 1:11 pm
i just got that.
March 22, 2011 at 9:36 am
Looks like she makes CHOCOLATE breastmilk…
March 22, 2011 at 9:41 am
That makes me want to vomit!
March 22, 2011 at 10:11 am
I did. In my mouth a little. And in my toilet a lot.
March 22, 2011 at 10:43 am
hmmm, vomit… the other untapped source of antioxidants and nutrients.
March 22, 2011 at 9:36 am
*shudder*
I always knew most vegans were not quite right in the head (lack of meat proteins I suspect) but this is EW!
Dear Vegans, if you love animals so much, why do you eat all their food?
March 22, 2011 at 5:30 pm
BAHAHAHA!!! OMG, I kinda wish (but not really) I still worked @ Whole Foods JUST so I could fuck with more vegans….I once asked a vegan whether picked fruit was fair game, since how do THEY know a tree can’t feel or cry or be in pain?? Oh, that was fun….
March 22, 2011 at 7:43 pm
I once made a vegan stop eating and drinking for a week (because she was being a dick to her girlfriend about a piece of cheese). I won’t repeat what I said, but it was brutally honest about the impact of eating anything at all. Don’t sass a philosophy major about ethics.
March 24, 2011 at 5:31 am
We could form a fuckery force – fuck with the minds of many people…..beautiful….
March 22, 2011 at 9:37 am
Made from the milk of a mammal!? *GASP* Somebody call the vegan police, I’ve got a crime to report!
March 22, 2011 at 9:38 am
You will be relieved to hear that both breastmilk and placenta are vegan friendly. Not sure about sperm though
*bokes*
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
Just think of the amazing recepies they can come up with knowing that!
March 22, 2011 at 9:59 am
No, I’m not relieved. Not at all.
March 22, 2011 at 10:10 am
channeling Gilda Radner’s Placenta Helper skit on SNL…..
March 23, 2011 at 12:23 am
Jury still out on vomit, then?
March 22, 2011 at 9:40 am
What other ailments can a bar of soap made of breast milk cure? Maybe she can spray it with glitter, glue some rinestones on to it and wear it around her neck to prevent warewolf attacks!!
March 22, 2011 at 9:53 am
Good for exfoliating, in that case.
March 22, 2011 at 10:21 am
Maybe it will cure my cancer!
March 22, 2011 at 12:09 pm
It does reduce leukemia rates by about 20%, but my son’s oncologist says that’s like reducing your chance of being struck by lightning by 20%… Diagnosed at 2 yrs, did 3 freaking years of chemo, he’s a very healthy 10 yr old today.
March 22, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Yay for your son being cancer-free!
So is it breast milk that reduces leukemia risk by 20%, or breast milk SOAP?
(also the “cured my cancer!” comment was found on the testimonial page of the goatse ring that Helen posted a while back – in case you didn’t know)
March 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm
Washing with breast milk soap reduces your risk of LEUKEMIA? and an ONCOLOGIST told you this! Sorry, I don’t believe it.
March 22, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Alments. She said it’s ‘usefull for a variety of alments’. Anybody have any alments? I’m fresh out.
March 22, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Almonds? Useful for a wide variety of almonds?
March 22, 2011 at 9:40 am
Honey isn’t vegan. What a douchebag.
And breast milk is just gross.
March 22, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Breastmilk that I produced and fed to my own small children is great. Breastmilk someone else produced for me to rub all over my body… that’s just gross LOL
March 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm
agreed. I know when I was nursing I used my breast milk for losts of things. I could put it in my boys ears if they were getting an ear infection, nose for helping their nose, and even on scrapes and such, but I don’t really like the thought of someone else s milk on me. I am also thinking that all the heat from making it into milk will kill a lot of the benefits of it anyways. Breast milk is wonderful, but it is still someone else s bodily fluids.
March 22, 2011 at 5:16 pm
I honestly think that the LYE they have to put in it to make it into soap took care of whatever beneficial qualities it once might have had
March 22, 2011 at 9:40 am
I just threw up in my mouth. A lot.
March 22, 2011 at 10:47 am
Well, maybe you should make some soap with that and start a new trend.
March 22, 2011 at 4:29 pm
It would be colourful.
March 22, 2011 at 9:40 am
Almost as bad as the breast milk ice cream being served in a London restaurant. Oh and I know a few vegan hipster types who say breast milk is fine because it is given with full consent not “stolen from the animal”. Fucking hipsters!!
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
Isn’t all milk breast milk? I poured a bunch of bovine breast milk on my cereal this morning.
March 22, 2011 at 9:52 am
Bovine breast milk is my favorite.
March 22, 2011 at 10:24 am
Warning: NSFW
March 22, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Again, I am reminded to be thankful that my boobs are not between my legs.
Not yet, anyway.
March 22, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Postmenopaws, I actually lol’d aloud on that one.
March 23, 2011 at 12:25 am
I’ve got a great pair of underwear for that cow: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/03/22/balls-out-nsfw/
March 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm
I pretty mich like goat breast milk myself. Tastes richer…
March 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm
interesting question… as far as I know (grew up in the city), breasts are usually found on the chest, where as UDDERS are found further south and not to be confused with the other sacks… although according to another poster there are recipes for that stuff too
March 22, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Hmmmm… If location is a factor, then shouldn’t my granmother’s mammary glands be more properly called udders, since they sit down around her waist?
Hmmm… “grandma’s udders.” That’s not at all demeaning or disrespectful my family’s matriarch, right?
March 22, 2011 at 1:09 pm
@ Tight E.
Perhaps we should establish some guidelines… breasts for above the waist, but anything found between the legs should have a unique name, like udder or teste. On the the other hand I have breast fed 2 children and now find “wind socks” the most appropriate term
March 22, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Actually, since udders contain mammary glands (hence the production of milk) they’re just breasts in a different spot. If the stuff inside ‘em is the same, it’s the same damn thing in my book….
March 22, 2011 at 5:17 pm
do almonds have breasts???
March 24, 2011 at 5:32 am
Nope, and soy beans don’t either – that’s why it’s soy JUICE and almond JUICE.
March 22, 2011 at 10:20 am
The ice cream people got a cease-and-desist letter because they called it “Baby Gaga.”
I don’t know if Lady Gaga intends to one day come out with a line of children’s products, or breast milk ice cream, or if she just thinks this implies endorsement, but I’ve got to agree with her on this one.
March 22, 2011 at 10:22 am
So “Lady Gaga” has an international Trade Mark (TM) on the word “Gaga” and any modifier thereof?
O_O
March 22, 2011 at 10:32 am
I think the test would be if the average person would assume that she was involved because of the similarity of the name.
There’s probably some blogger who said “OMG! Breast milk ice cream! This is JUST the sort of thing I’d expect Lady Gaga to be doing!”
March 23, 2011 at 8:38 am
There are no “International Trade Mark Laws”, and I have a feeling that Gaga would have lost a law suit brought against the ice cream company, being that the term “gaga” in and of itself is a fairly common word that can be proven to have been used way before she took it as her stage name. I think the proprietor closed down their sales mainly because they didn’t want to fork out the funds to pay the lawyers.
March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am
So does that mean that Queen can’t perform their song ‘Radio Gaga’ anymore?
March 22, 2011 at 11:25 am
No, Queen came out with that before Lady Gaga existed. Trademarks and copyright don’t apply to pre-existing works. If someone founded an independent restaurant called McDonald’s in the 1940s, they can still keep the name, since Mickey D’s wasn’t incorporated until at least the 1950s. Not that the whole thing isn’t inane bullshit anyway, but that’s honestly how it works.
March 22, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Well, they really CAN’T since Freddie Mercury is kinda dead….
March 22, 2011 at 8:31 pm
I thought it was a health department thing, which seems more rational.
March 22, 2011 at 9:40 am
No disrespect to the vegans here, but how is making something from your own milk exploiting animals in any way? And yet, even as a nearly militant lactation fan–eeeeeewwwwwwww!!!
March 22, 2011 at 9:44 am
It’s not. Breast milk is vegan. It’s also completely disgusting.
March 22, 2011 at 9:46 am
Vegan or not….why the fuck would you drink/use breastmilk for anything other than feeding your baby???
March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am
Because why should cows get all the credit!?
March 22, 2011 at 10:16 am
I know! Who has so much extra that they need to find ways to use it up, LOL! And at $4 a bar, she’s practically giving this soap away.
March 22, 2011 at 11:04 am
Well, the economy is pretty bad. Maybe they’re just trying to promote a new career for all those unemployed nursing moms out there. . .
March 31, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Well, my mom used breast milk on my eyes when I was an infant to get my tear ducts to open. *shrugs*
March 22, 2011 at 10:02 am
It’s not, but it also says milk, (aside from the breast milk) and honey. Decidedly non-vegan.
March 22, 2011 at 9:41 am
Definitely not vegan if it has honey. Also, does it have both breast milk and “regular” milk? Is anyone else confused by this?
Also, did anyone else think these were weird, blocky brownies before reading the description?
March 22, 2011 at 11:31 am
I thought they were brownies, too. It actually got less disturbing when they turned out to be not-for-eating.
March 22, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I did too LOL
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
Maybe it’s just me, but nuteratants sounds like the name for a Neuticles knockoff.
March 22, 2011 at 9:47 am
Nuteratants sound like a new pill that neuters your dog!
March 22, 2011 at 10:06 am
Mutant nutrients
March 22, 2011 at 10:08 am
March 22, 2011 at 10:18 am
Hey! those look suspiciously like the carrots I dug out of my garden on Saturday!
March 22, 2011 at 10:21 am
OMG, Princess, they look like the Turkey Skants guy!
March 22, 2011 at 10:25 am
@mapleleaves
I know!!! Should I put these up for sale in my shop? At least, these are really vegan. Until I coat them in polyurethane varnish and glitter…
March 22, 2011 at 10:37 am
Below pictures look like characters from Spirited Away. Just saying, your garden might have animated Japanese spirits, and you can sell that shit easily to some otaku hipsters.
March 22, 2011 at 10:56 am
Just photograph it on barnwood and give it a pretentious title, and you can sell the photographs!
“Skanty McTuber”
(Sorry, that’s actually not pretentious at all, more whimsicle.)
March 22, 2011 at 8:34 pm
I keep picturing a woman sitting at a table rubbing carrots furiously with glitter… “NEEDS MORE GLITTER! MUST HAVE MORE GLITTER!”
March 22, 2011 at 10:24 am
Slightly off topic… but I think the seller of Neuticles has been taking notes from regretsy… they make Neuticals earrings, necklaces, and keychains… all made of actual neuticals and the necklaces are “single or double.”
Just what I’ve always wanted! Faux animal testicle jewlery! :/
March 22, 2011 at 10:31 am
That would actually be an awesome gag gift! I’m going to browse that shit right now!:-)
March 22, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Neuticles have been around since the late ’90s, way before Etsy. I remember first finding them and laughing myself sick.
March 22, 2011 at 10:25 am
People pay money to give their pets fake junk? Seriously? I was not aware of this; I would love to see a profile of the average purchaser. Talk about issues. I mean, I love my cat but, come ON!
March 22, 2011 at 11:33 am
I love that they come with something called ScarRetard.
March 23, 2011 at 12:30 am
For $1,000 bucks, they should be made of gold and come with a live-in dog walker for a year.
March 23, 2011 at 3:33 am
I thought “nuteratants” would explain the underwear in the next entry.
March 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm
Another really stupid idea… Prosthetic balls for neutered dogs. Yeah.
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
oh yea – cause I totally want to rub a strangers untested bodily fluids all over my body. *shutter*
This is totally gross – and I breastfeed… for some reason I have only ever thought to use the milk to feed my baby with – apparently I had an etsy shop in the making sitting right on my chest and never even knew it.
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
I’m all for breastfeeding and breastmilk, but…the spelling. Oh god, the spelling.
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
This reminds me of an amazing song. This artist has since passed… but his songs are pretty much all the same. Best listened to drunk and in its entirety.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPftjJlqDdQ
March 22, 2011 at 11:09 am
Wow. Regretsy is so educational & informative, in so many ways!
March 23, 2011 at 10:48 am
Wesley Willis headbutted me at a concert in 2001. My favorite song of his is Rock & Roll McDonalds
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
Well, her kids will be grossly squeaky clean, but they won’t be able to spell for shit.
March 22, 2011 at 10:27 am
Just the fact that someone who thinks this is a marketing bonanza and spells that horrendously has procreated makes me frightened.
March 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
I couldn’t agree more!
March 22, 2011 at 12:24 pm
And based on the breastfeeding / vegan thing, she probably homeschools. Maybe that’s why she works from home, so she can homeschool her kids. Sorry, homeschoolers, I know some incredible homeschoolers, and I know some that… well… let’s just say that with public school, there’s always next year.
Bring on the hatin’!
March 22, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I feel ya, MmeZeeZee. It wouldn’t surprise me either ^^ My brothers and I were homeschooled K-12 by my Mom. We’re all quite successful thanks to Mom’s hard work – but yeah…
I remember as a kid (in the early 90s) us going to “Homeschool Support Groups” with people that seemingly fed their kids nothing but juice & cheerios from ziploc bags, never cut their hair, and thought TV actually channeled demons. We didn’t attend many of those, lol.
March 23, 2011 at 2:23 am
You say “TV actually channeled demons” like it’s a bad thing.
I wanted to homeschool my children, but they begged to go to school before they could complete a five-word sentence. Maybe I’m just bitter.
March 22, 2011 at 5:38 pm
I’m with you – I know some really good homeschooling families (more power to them, I couldn’t do it) and then there’s the 2 families I keep wanting to shake because they’re so not bright enough to educate a toaster, let alone a human being.
March 22, 2011 at 9:42 am
So this is for when you need to wash your vegan kid’s mouth out with soap, right?
Assuming, naturally, that you’ve also learned how to shit yourself some honey.
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
WOW that is so nasty. Where did this milk come from? Is it hers? If she has breast milk isn’t that something that is meant for the baby? Where’s the baby? So many questions left unanswered! Why isn’t she feeding the baby? OMG who’s feeding the baby? Is she feeding it breast milk soap? I don’t have a baby but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work that way. JT
March 22, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Breast milk soap would be terrible for a baby–it has honey in it, which is toxic to anyone under a year old.
Also, did the baby give consent to have his/her food supply appropriated for commercial gain? If not, does this make breast milk un-vegan?
Damn, now I’m worried about the baby!
March 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Toxic if consumed, not rubbed onto your skin.
March 22, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Er, yeah – not toxic. Just a risk of botulism. And only when ingested.
Actually, honey in soap would be at no risk for botulism because the honey is cooked when making the soap – so actually far safer than the kind in the cute bear bottle….
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
I wouldn’t rub that on my body, in fact, any of those handmade hygiene products, make up or food sold on etsy does not appeal to me one bit. Yuch!
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
Human breast milk is vegan in most circumstances. As is semen. Not honey, though.
Of course, since being vegan is a CHOICE, it’s always best to consider the guidelines just that, merely guidelines, and choose your own path to what makes you feel comfortable with it.
Having said all that, I can’t imagine who would choose this soap…
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
There’s a new idea: Semen soap!
March 22, 2011 at 9:56 am
I think you might be onto something there…
1)Semen
2)Soap
3)?
4)Profit!
March 22, 2011 at 10:06 am
Better yet, sell a facial soap.
March 22, 2011 at 10:15 am
this is so close to the ‘fight club’ fat soap.
March 22, 2011 at 10:35 am
I once read that men who have affairs should keep the same brand of soap at their girlfriend’s house so they don’t smell different when they go home to their wives.
I’m not quite sure what the wife would say if her man came home smelling like some stranger’s semen.
March 22, 2011 at 12:04 pm
“My mother was right about you!”
“Why do you smell like my brother’s old socks?”
March 22, 2011 at 11:47 am
A whole line of facial products could come from that…
Seriously, thumbs-down this. I deserve that.
March 22, 2011 at 11:58 am
I can see that… in travel size for airport bathrooms, and the extra-value “bukakke” size.
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
Would this be an appropriate use of Etsy’s flags? I think I might go flag it just for fun, let’s see if I get a delightful email from them.
March 22, 2011 at 9:48 am
“honey and milk are not vegan. I’m pretty sure breast milk isn’t either, and that’s just gross.”
Totally flaggable under their policy on tags. Have fun!
March 22, 2011 at 1:08 pm
done
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
1967 was forty-four years ago, you hippie asshole! Turn off the fucking Jefferson Airplane, move out of the fucking commune and welcome the 21st century!
March 22, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Don’t hold back – tell us how you really feel!
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
ugh. No I do not want to rub my body with your tit juice. I use mini soap bars in the guest bath so guests don’t have to use soap someone else has used (I throw them away after each visitor). Why in the fuck would I buy soap made from a stranger’s body fluids?
March 22, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Ooh…I want to stay at your house. That sounds like a hotel.
March 22, 2011 at 9:43 am
are Nuteratants like, 16 year-old eunuch belles?
March 22, 2011 at 9:53 am
I think it’s what you call the testicles after an animal’s been snipped.
March 22, 2011 at 10:01 am
I only though you could geot nuteratants when you ate Nutella.
March 22, 2011 at 10:04 am
Ohh… yummy, yummy nuteratants!
March 22, 2011 at 10:11 am
My “varity of alments” can only be helped with the “nuteratants” in vodka and Nutella.
March 22, 2011 at 10:53 am
Ummmm… I’m going to go mix that right now. Vodka, frangelico and baileys, what? (maybe with some cocoa liquer. I’ll have to try that, too)
I’m going to class drunk.
March 22, 2011 at 11:11 am
I thought they were aliens on Dr. Who.
March 22, 2011 at 9:44 am
I don’t think the questionable veganness, nor the misspellings put off most customers. They read “breast”, and, ’nuff said!
March 22, 2011 at 11:42 am
I think “Questionable Veganess” would be a good username.
March 22, 2011 at 8:44 pm
Then there’s the other end of the spectrum who read “breast,” and said, “SOLD!”
March 22, 2011 at 9:44 am
ugh. Make it stop. Just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
…. even if you have many alments.
March 22, 2011 at 9:44 am
Anyone who puts breast milk in soap should be nuteratant.
March 22, 2011 at 9:45 am
If I wasn’t already infertile I’d be a little worried about using this bar of soap what with all the nuteratants it contains.
March 22, 2011 at 9:45 am
What I want to know is, how much other shit did this woman try her breast milk in before she said, “Yes! Soap! THAT’S the shit!”
There’s probably a hippy workshop of failed breast milk projects that wreaks of sour milk, despair and insanity bat guano. I’m thinking alternative fuel sources, new paints in varying tones of brown and green, and a new glue to help bind your hair dolls together.
March 22, 2011 at 9:51 am
More likely the boob said “Areola! I got tit!”
Okay, no motorboat that topic. Time to get knockered.
March 22, 2011 at 9:45 am
Brest mlk is relly gr8. It
hazhas supper heeling propererites. Wash wyth it. You smel the best evar.March 22, 2011 at 9:46 am
Wait – isnt it illegal to sell breastmilk?
March 22, 2011 at 10:27 am
Depends on local regulations. But I am pretty sure if its not for consumption you can sell it any way you want to.
But think of all the poor, thirsty babies!
Speaking of, in my area, I am pretty sure you can donate your extra boobie juice to the productively challenged.
March 22, 2011 at 11:43 am
See now THAT’S what she should’ve called this, Boobie Juice Bar Soap!
March 22, 2011 at 3:58 pm
I had the same thought! Isn’t that potentially…like..contaminated or something lol. Mmm, feel the luxurious lather of: ‘Biohazard Breastmilk Wash’!
March 22, 2011 at 9:48 am
Wait, so she made soap out of baby spit-up?
March 22, 2011 at 9:48 am
It lists “breast milk” and milk as separate ingredients, so bullshit on the vegan label.
And anyone who wants to rub a bar of soap that looks like a bar of dog poop all over their bodies probably also wears their pubes in dreadlocks.
March 22, 2011 at 9:52 am
*shudder* I coughed up a hairball just thinking about that.
March 22, 2011 at 9:57 am
under ingredients she only has breast milk
milk is under tags not ingredients
March 22, 2011 at 11:00 am
It’s also part of her listing title. You’re right that her ingredient list only lists breast milk, but the title of the listing includes both, as well as the tags.
What can I say – her listing is as muddy as her soap.
March 22, 2011 at 9:49 am
Vegan breast milk soap. Keeping hippies stinky since 1961.
March 22, 2011 at 9:50 am
I thought that was patchouli?
March 22, 2011 at 10:08 am
Well, it looks like she’s got that, too:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68276737/orange-you-happy-cold-process-soap?ref=v1_other_1
March 22, 2011 at 10:11 am
Or this one, which is actually called Dirty Hippie
http://www.etsy.com/listing/66993066/dirty-hippie-cold-process-soap?ref=v1_other_1
March 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
And still the shitty spelling!
March 22, 2011 at 2:35 pm
The description says “patchouli soap soap.” So is that soap made out of patchouli and soap or soap made out of patchouli soap?
March 22, 2011 at 9:49 am
True fact: If you stop eating meat for a long enough amount of time, you lactate soy.
March 22, 2011 at 10:15 am
That sounds painful and disgusting. I’ll keep eating meat. And I don’t want my future children to hate me.
March 22, 2011 at 9:49 am
That’s right. Rub this soothing soap into all the small cuts and abrasions on your body.
http://www.aegis.org/NEWS/sc/1991/SC910812.html
March 22, 2011 at 9:50 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 9:52 am
I think you’re taking everything way too seriously. Have a nice hot cup of breast milk with agave.
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
But it’s organic! I’m sure the oatmeal is from an organic farm… that uses no pesticides on it, near it, or on the same continent!
Of course the vegan honey and milk are a little hard to swallow
March 22, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Large-scale, commercially farmed plant crops aren’t vegan because animals are violently killed by farm machinery and their habitats are destroyed in the creation of farmland. I think that’s what s/he means.
Of course, if vegans really applied their own logic consistently to all food products, the only thing they’d be allowed to ingest are their own tears.
March 22, 2011 at 10:07 am
Wait… why isn’t oatmeal vegan? It’s made out of oats. Period.
March 22, 2011 at 10:12 am
I believe it has to do with the way it was cultivated. Manure and such.
March 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
Wouldn’t that mean that ALL PLANTS are non-vegan?
March 22, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Hey, I never claimed I was a vegan expert.
But maybe they use compost, or even their own crap. Self-cultivated just like the breast milk.
March 22, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Depends on how vegan you are. If you’re hardcore vegan, you eat organic food. Unless it’s USDA certified organic, there is a chance that is has been transgenically modified (meaning that it has been modified in lab and the genes have been messed with) or is treated with hardcore pesticides that fuck up the environment big time.
I never knew my term paper I wrote for Comp. II would actually come in handy. Huzzah for writing a 6 page research paper about fucking corn! /wrists
March 22, 2011 at 10:33 am
Yeah, I really don’t understand what this person is talking about. I’m a vegan and I’ve never heard of oats not being vegan.
March 22, 2011 at 10:54 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 11:45 am
Sorry, Viva, who told you to shut up?
March 22, 2011 at 3:45 pm
Apparently the voices in her head told her. I reread the thread and didn’t find a STFU anywhere.
March 22, 2011 at 10:08 am
How is oatmeal not vegan?
Breast milk IS vegan if it is given willingly, as is semen.
March 22, 2011 at 10:50 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 11:02 am
She’s not feeding you porridge, Goldilocks. She’s throwin’ a big ol’ handful of Quaker in with her boobie juice soap.
March 22, 2011 at 11:04 am
So if a wild berry bush was peed on by a fox that ate an unwilling rabbit, does that mean the berries are not vegan?
(runs for excedrin bottle)
March 22, 2011 at 11:46 am
Ok but I’ve never heard of milk cows eating meat or drinking dairy so wouldn’t that make cow milk vegan? Cows need to be milked or they end up in a lot of pain so wouldn’t that be giving it freely?
March 22, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Um. No. Their calves are taken from them and fed separately, then they stand in stalls hooked up to the milking machines… Not something most animals would ask for.
March 22, 2011 at 3:48 pm
I already fucking hate myself for writing this BUT there is an issue in commercial farming where cows are being fed grain that has slaugher cow blood and occassional ground “parts” mixed in to up their protein intake hence enhancing growth. It’s how Mad Cow disease came about.
March 22, 2011 at 10:10 am
Totally innocent question as I sit here in my abject ignorance gnawing on a beef bone, how is regular standard oatmeal not vegan? Is it not vegan because of manure used to fertilize it?
March 22, 2011 at 10:18 am
Manure unapologetically stolen from cows, naturally.
March 22, 2011 at 10:31 am
Because cows totally hoard their manure for making earrings and facinators on Etsy.
March 22, 2011 at 10:36 am
I have no idea. I have never heard of oats not being vegan before and I’ve been a vegan for 9 years. If it has to do with fertilizer, I think that’s a pretty dumb arguement.
March 22, 2011 at 10:56 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 11:04 am
Cannot reply directly to Viva (too many nested comments already?)
But you wrote it here, Honey (no offense, lol): None of the ingredients are vegan! Breast milk is far from vegan, honey isn’t vegan and regular standard oatmeal isn’t either.
March 22, 2011 at 11:53 am
“regular standard oatmeal isn’t either”
You made an incorrect statement and then tried to defend it by completely contradicting yourself. You CLEARLY stated that “regular standard oatmeal” is not vegan, and then you turn around and say that’s not what you meant at all. Do you realize we can go back and see what you wrote…?
March 22, 2011 at 3:50 pm
Is anyone else fucking sick of the vegan vs. non vegan argument here? I know I am.
March 22, 2011 at 1:20 pm
Apparently she was considering “regular standard oatmeal” to have milk or butter on it.
It’s got nothing to do with manure (luckily LOL). Oats are vegan. So’s oatmeal with soymilk or vegan margarine.
March 22, 2011 at 11:04 am
“Virgin urine” soap!?!
That right there is comedic gold(en showers).
March 22, 2011 at 11:34 am
March 22, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Dear Adieu,
Thank you. It had to be said.
Love,
CCL
March 24, 2012 at 4:00 pm
Calm down. And what about oatmeal is not vegan? Are these sentient oats? And why can’t oatmeal be “organic?” Is it impossible to grow these sentient oats without chemical fertilizers or pesticides?
I am reliable assured that breast milk is vegan. Honey (and cow’s milk, if this soap contains it) are not.
And I think your comment about the seller being “batshit and stupid” is a bit pot-kettley, don’t you?
March 22, 2011 at 9:50 am
Does lousy spelling count as an alment? I wonder what a “nuteratant” is…
March 23, 2011 at 12:09 am
I *think* she means nutrient. It took me a while to figure that out. At first I thought it “nuterant? something one uses to neuter?”
March 22, 2011 at 9:51 am
That is not breast milk, it is POO!
March 22, 2011 at 9:59 am
I was thinking the same thing. How do corn kernels get into breast milk?
March 22, 2011 at 9:52 am
Unrelated to this post, but wanted to say it all the same:
Regretsy has inspired me to use the word “decoupaged” instead of “glued” or “stuck” in my everyday life, to add a sense of HANDMADE FLAIR.
As in, “OH GOD, MY HAIR IS DECOUPAGED TO THIS SEATBELT.”
March 22, 2011 at 9:57 am
I <3 you for this comment. SO. WIN.
March 22, 2011 at 10:19 am
And quite artfully so.
March 23, 2011 at 12:23 pm
I gigglesnorted, for real. Planning to reuse; please advise how you prefer to be credited. Thanks!
March 23, 2011 at 10:30 pm
Glad I could make you guys laugh.
Oh you don’t have to credit me. Just spread the good news. The news of REGRETSY.
March 22, 2011 at 9:52 am
Why oh why do I know we’ll be treated to an epic battle of diehard vegans vs. militant breastfeeders today? I’m on standby to throw in the Nazi/Buddhist/Native American symbol into the fray but who’s got the popcorn?
March 22, 2011 at 10:01 am
Extra butter, but I’d like mine made from COW’s milk, please.
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
Gag…just realized what those bars of soap remind me of. Remember when “Mythbusters” made a candle out of earwax? This soap looks almost exactly like that candle. It’s really earwax soap being pawned as something equally icky.
March 22, 2011 at 10:01 am
I fucking gagged through that whole episode.
March 22, 2011 at 12:07 pm
And if its vegan earwax you can charge way more.
March 22, 2011 at 1:29 pm
apparently it’s only Vegan if the ear wax is taken with consent.
March 23, 2011 at 12:11 am
and you can charge even more if it’s organic
March 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I am so glad I didn’t see that. I’m kinda queasy now…
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
This reminds me of the recent breast milk ice cream in the UK. Is this a thing now? Can someone please warn me if this is a thing now?…
… Also turning breast-milk into a consumer commodity just seems so utterly wrong.
March 22, 2011 at 10:12 am
Don’t you mean “udderly” wrong?
March 22, 2011 at 10:20 am
Lady Gaga is suing that London shop for the name of that breastmilk ice cream… wait for it… BABY GAGA. You may groan now.
March 22, 2011 at 11:16 am
Easy fix. Just call it “Baby Gagging.”
March 22, 2011 at 9:54 am
BREAST MILK OATMEAL IS THE BEST MILK OATMEAL
March 22, 2011 at 9:55 am
moar liek derpy hippies amirite?
March 22, 2011 at 9:56 am
Doubt anyone cares, but vanilla discolors cold-process soap to brown. (Yes, I breastfed three kids and make my own soap–in very separate processes… but I’m not a fucking hippie, really I’m not…)
March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am
There’s nothing wrong with making your own soap or breastfeeding your kids. When you decide to breastfeed your soap and sell it to others… now there’s your problem.
March 22, 2011 at 9:56 am
When I first saw the picture, I thought they were brownies made with breast milk. Realizing that it’s soap is actually quite a relief.
March 22, 2011 at 9:58 am
I was actually looking forward to a nutter rant right about now.
I guess it’s hard to type when you’re attached to a milking machine. That’s the reason cows don’t write novels, isn’t it?
March 22, 2011 at 10:16 am
udderly plausible theory
March 22, 2011 at 9:58 am
Yes, what a great idea. Please, let me bathe myself with your brown, chunky tit cheese bar.
March 22, 2011 at 9:59 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 1:22 pm
Like Regretsy on Facebook
March 22, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I don’t know if I am more pissed about the dip shits that keep asking the password question or the nicey nices that answer them. >:(
March 23, 2011 at 7:16 am
This dip shit is grateful to the nicey nice because I never look at Facebook. (Thanks Kathleen in Canada!)
March 22, 2011 at 10:00 am
I…think I’ll go back to just using regular soap if that’s ok with this seller.
March 22, 2011 at 10:00 am
She changed her listing. It no longer claims to be vegan.
March 22, 2011 at 10:07 am
and the Regretsy Thugs edumacate another seller!
March 22, 2011 at 10:46 am
Did she learn to spell as well?
March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am
Plus, she gave Regretsy props! Of a sort, anyway. So far, she’s being good natured about it!
March 22, 2011 at 10:01 am
The scientific mind ponders: Can it still contain antioxidants if it looks like regurgitated rust?
March 22, 2011 at 10:01 am
You know… looking through her other stuff she does have some interesting soaps..
http://www.etsy.com/listing/68980042/beer-soap-pumpkin-lager
beer soap anyone?
March 22, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I love handmade soaps, but…no. It all looks like bad meat to me.
March 22, 2011 at 10:02 am
We should all order some and mould it into fake mustaches that we can then resell on Etsy.
March 22, 2011 at 10:09 am
March 22, 2011 at 10:10 am
Is this a real product?
March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am
You can sleep well tonight. They are. It’s everything you ever dreamed of.
http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Mustache-Soap-Leaves.html
March 22, 2011 at 10:12 am
I hope you noticed that they’re “musk” scented.
March 22, 2011 at 10:27 am
So is Kopi Luwak, but it doesn’t have anything to do with mustaches.
March 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Mould? Is that vegan?
How far & twisted can we go with this?
March 22, 2011 at 10:02 am
I suspect that there is alot of vodka involved in the making of this product.
March 22, 2011 at 10:09 am
Organic vegan vodka.
March 22, 2011 at 10:05 am
Uh oh. This is definitely going to bring all the boys to the yard.
March 22, 2011 at 10:14 am
Well they’d better stay off my lawn!
August 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm
wishing for a mega-Like button!
March 22, 2011 at 10:05 am
From the seller:
thanks for the feature regretsy
If the thought of breast milk so grosses you out, don’t buy it. Do buy my other soaps, they are all breast milk free.
I approve. Also, this at least is spelled correctly, although she still needs to work on punctuation. I have not lost all hope in humanity.
March 22, 2011 at 10:09 am
Dear seller,
Lactation does not gross me out, but I prefer not to wash my face in someone else’s bodily fluids (or even my own, for that matter). My kinks run in an entirely different direction.
March 22, 2011 at 10:28 am
For true Princess! I give the seller +100 internets for not getting all butthurt but she does seem to have misunderstood what is grossing people out. I am fine with breast milk. YAY for breast-fed babies! Lactating mamas are welcome to stick that stuff in bottles and store it in my fridge and then use it to feed their babies.
I am not grossed out by hair. I will sweep it up, I will style friends’ hair, I will pick a stray strand off an acquaintance’s jacket. What I do not want is a buffpuff of human hair to match my breast milk soap. That would be gross. If you can’t see the difference there well, I think you might be one of those people who stands way too close when they talk to you.
March 22, 2011 at 10:37 am
Do tell.
March 22, 2011 at 10:17 am
There is a better use for breast milk than using to make a soap that claims to be better for you but it’s not!
http://www.helpinghandsbank.com/?gclid=CKDkqu7V4qcCFchJ2godxy4w9A
And I know this goes without saying but the seller is not exactly a rocket scientist so taking her advice on health claims is probably not the way to go.
March 22, 2011 at 10:26 am
That was my first thought too: that she can’t exactly have her dermatology doctorate, or even a college degree in nutrition etc, if she can’t even spell “antioxidant”. I’m surprised no one has mentioned that yet!
March 22, 2011 at 10:05 am
Oh, and off topic, but did anyone else notice the mason jar of bees on the Simpsons on sunday?
March 22, 2011 at 10:19 am
I did! And definitely chuckled at the mention!
March 22, 2011 at 10:06 am
I don’t want to wash my boobies with someone else’s boobies, thank you.
March 22, 2011 at 10:19 am
well, now that you’ve put it THAT way… hmmmm…
March 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
I think I’d been more interested if she’d titled it, “Boobie soap”.
March 22, 2011 at 10:06 am
There’s no way in hell I will ever buy soap made of breast milk, oatmeal, milk and hon… wait, it’s vegan? Nevermind. I’ll take two.
March 22, 2011 at 10:07 am
It looks like shit…
Like. Literal. Shit.
March 22, 2011 at 10:07 am
I’m thinking this is a set-up. None of her other items have these kind of spelling errors. In either case… how do we know it’s actually breast milk and not some other milky substance?!?!
March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am
So the listing no longer claims that the soap is vegan… but did she correct any of the spelling?
March 22, 2011 at 10:13 am
Do I get it in a package deal with the hilbilly bajingo wash?
March 22, 2011 at 12:16 pm
I don’t think hippies wash their bajingos.
March 22, 2011 at 10:14 am
Awww, she’s on to us. She changed the whole listing. But she still can’t use punctuation correctly. Frelling hippie freaks.
March 22, 2011 at 10:16 am
As a professional soapmaker, people like this make me look and feel bad. Especially since they all get more sales than I do.
March 22, 2011 at 9:07 pm
Do you have separate tools for making vegan and regular soaps? I’m only wondering because I’m new to this whole idea of non-meat products.
March 23, 2011 at 7:09 am
I only make 1 kind of non-vegan soap, and that uses goat milk. So no. Even though in my opinion, animal fats generally make better bars of soap(lots of commercial soap contains animal fats, look for “sodium tallowate”) it’s easier for me to source vegetable fats and people in my area are very into vegetarianism and veganism. Basically calling a cosmetic product vegan is a marketing thing, because it’s like an umbrella term for no animal products contained, no animals were harmed making it, and it goes perfectly with your cruelty-free messenger bag. My tattoo balm and lip balm I call vegan because most other balms contain beeswax, but mine doesn’t.
For the record, I love animals but I like to eat them too.
March 22, 2011 at 10:16 am
Oatmeal produces milk? Cause last I checked my oatmeal has to have milk added.
March 22, 2011 at 10:34 am
Only if you can find the udders.
March 22, 2011 at 10:17 am
Aren’t nuteratants those rat like rodents that live in the Louisiana swamps?
That’s decidedly un-vegan…
March 22, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I thought it was like a debutante squirrel. If you google it, the only place this word exists is in this listing. We may be dealing with a super genius.
March 22, 2011 at 10:21 am
I believe you’re supposed to use this soap together with bird poop facial cream.
http://in.reuters.com/article/2008/04/25/us-beauty-facial-geisha-idINN2542211820080425
March 22, 2011 at 10:24 am
From my first reading I thought you were supposed to eat this (to cure your alments) or use it as soap. And I almost looked up nueterants – maybe it’s a real thing, like mutant nutrients. Don’t really care if it’s vegan or not – do not want.
March 22, 2011 at 10:29 am
Ha! She’s put up a stern warning to Regretsians to not buy her soap if “it grosses them out”. I guess we’ve been put in our place.
March 22, 2011 at 10:29 am
Snarking aside, the bee-and-flower rosemary soap set are kinda cute.
March 22, 2011 at 10:34 am
I agree. She has some pretty soaps, especially for how cheap they are!!
March 22, 2011 at 10:39 am
Hmm, a shop full of nice, non-crazy products, and this one thrown in… which drives a whole bunch of traffic to her site… Regretsy bait?
March 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
Oh, and for those of you who eschew hand-made hand soaps, these are my absolute favorite:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/43242843/handsoap-set?ref=sr_list_1&ga_search_query=hand+soap+doll+hands&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
I love to leave them in the guest bathroom and hear my guests scream in horror…
March 22, 2011 at 10:42 am
You also need one of these:
March 22, 2011 at 11:57 am
Yeah except THIS I would buy:-D
March 22, 2011 at 11:03 am
My favorite Etsy Soap seller has this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/62535075/my-poop-does-not-stink (in addition to a bunch of other beautiful/cool/funny soaps)
March 22, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Those are pretty awesome!
March 22, 2011 at 12:25 pm
OMG I have those too! Best thing ever!
March 22, 2011 at 12:26 pm
The HAND soap, that is.
March 22, 2011 at 10:32 am
Dairy is NOT vegan. I don’t care what kind of animal you’re milking.
March 23, 2011 at 12:18 am
Well, any dairy from non-humans is not vegan. Neither is honey, obviously. One thing that is vegan, that you may not know, is cat hair. I know this because my cat voluntarily puts it in my food & decorates my clothes with it on a regular basis. Actually, he insists on it.
March 22, 2011 at 10:35 am
All that janky spelling, followed by the proper “too”. Inexplicable.
March 22, 2011 at 10:40 am
Well, she had a one-out-of-three chance.
March 22, 2011 at 10:35 am
After I rub breast milk all over my body, well, I just feel dirty…
I wonder if my health insurance covers therapy.
March 22, 2011 at 10:36 am
“I’m going to wash your mouth out with soap!!!”
March 22, 2011 at 10:43 am
“But it’s good for you!”
March 22, 2011 at 10:41 am
Maybe I’m getting too technical, but um…if you get only about 2 ounces from each breast per pump, and you need 6 cups of milk (48 ounces) to make a batch (As said an online recipe for breast milk soap, and I assume these three chunks of soap were cut from a bigger batch)
…just wondering did just one woman manage this much milk, or was it several? Just wondering. Because if it was just one girl, that is incredible.
March 22, 2011 at 11:25 am
There are recipes for breast milk soap on the internet.
Of course there are.
I didn’t breastfeed for very long (my kid got thrush from being on antibiotics right after birth…painful for both of us), but that shit was more precious than gold at the time. No way was it going anywhere but inside my baby.
I’d have sooner opened up a wrist if I was that concerned about finding unusual soap-making ingredients.
March 23, 2011 at 7:30 am
You can either substitute the water content with the milk or you can just add it at trace(when the oils and lye are emulsifying together).
March 22, 2011 at 10:45 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I’ll be nice…
The password is posted on the Facebook page each weeknight at 9:30pm Pacific Time.
March 22, 2011 at 7:42 pm
mapleleaves, you are dead to me. Good day.
I SAID GOOD DAY!
March 23, 2011 at 7:26 am
Thanks for being nice! I didn’t know either. I’m a dingus.
March 22, 2011 at 10:57 am
I’m sure this has been infussed with votomints and meneruls too
Also,
breast milk soap: it’s the tits!
March 22, 2011 at 11:02 am
MAG’s top 10 questions regarding this listing:
10. It improves your skin, but does it increase your IQ?
9. Does it come in a color better than a turd?
8. Can I see your production line?
7. If I wash my kid’s mouth out with soap, will he like it?
6. You enslaved poor defenseless bees to make your honey?
5. Does the soap come in a C cup?
4. $4.00 for one bar??? It’s freakin’ soap, people!
3. It’s great for other Alments? I have altoids, is that ok?
2. I’m sorry, I have an extra clue…do you need one?
and the Number one question about this listing.
1. Got Soap?
March 22, 2011 at 1:17 pm
5. Does the soap come in a C cup?
My thoughts exactly. I love you
March 23, 2011 at 7:32 am
$4 for one bar of handmade soap isn’t bad. I myself charge more than that.
March 22, 2011 at 11:02 am
oh man, she is a good sport, i hope she sells lots of soap today.
March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am
Leaving aside the issue of breast milk; vegans can’t really use honey or bee’s wax either.
March 23, 2011 at 12:24 am
Yeah, a lot of people have a hard time figuring out what is & is not vegan. (I don’t know why, it’s not that fucking hard.) Reminds me of an actual conversation I had with a meat eater. (Other vegans here will probably find this familiar.)
Meat eater: “So, vegans don’t eat animals, right?”
Me: “Right.”
Meat eater: “So… is a fish an animal?”
Me: “Yes”
(Long pause)
Meat eater: “Umm… is a chicken an animal?”
March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am
I’m just glad it’s not carved into the shape of a vag.
March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am
I have to give her the benefit of the doubt because her other soaps are nice and seem, well, let’s just say, a little more well thought-out. The spelling on her other listings is quite a bit better, though not perfect; she even spells “antioxidant” correctly elsewhere. Sometimes, ideas you have while ‘shrooming are not as brilliant as they seemed at the time.
March 22, 2011 at 11:18 am
Or so I’ve heard.
March 22, 2011 at 11:25 am
I just ordered three of her mommy-milk-free soaps, cuz it seems like a nice thing to do. She’s being a pretty good sport–and I’m too lazy to make a batch myself.
March 22, 2011 at 11:16 am
She should make specially formulated breast milk titty soap. You know, for the delicate areas.
March 22, 2011 at 11:26 am
Does it bother anyone else that she doesn’t state where the breast milk is from? Did she steal it from an unsuspecting lactating woman? For all we know it could be rats breast milk… (I although would be impressed if anyone can milk a rat.)..cats breast milk, or would that be teat milk..then again cows have udders so it would be udder milk. Hamster milk?
Fuck me.
March 22, 2011 at 11:33 am
You can milk a hamster…you just need a very small stool to sit on.
March 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm
March 22, 2011 at 6:18 pm
You promised me dog or better!
March 22, 2011 at 11:26 am
Damn! Why didn’t I think to make something like this to bring traffic to my shop! I’m so stupid!!
March 22, 2011 at 11:29 am
Now you have to be creative since it’s been done like um Man Milk Soap or something.
March 23, 2011 at 7:35 am
I know, right? Between this and melt&pour mustache soap, we’re fucked.
March 22, 2011 at 11:27 am
Wait, if to be vegan they have to give it up by choice does that make that guy who offered to be eaten a vegan product?
March 22, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Only if that guy is vegan.
March 22, 2011 at 11:28 am
Well, if it was all a ploy to get people into her shop to look at the other products, it worked! I went and looked, even though I am not all that partial to handmade soap. And really, the rest of her products seem perfectly reasonable (plus the Dirty Hippie soap in her sold items cracked me up).
She changed her listing to no longer state that it’s vegan, and miraculously learned how to spell. So for all of our grossed-out-ness, she got a bunch of publicity and views. Plus, let’s face it, for novelties like that, there’s a buyer for everything! She’ll probably just barely sell out of that batch, but by then she’ll have some repeat customers to keep her going!
I’m not saying she posted it the first way as bait or anything, but if she had, it wouldn’t have been the worst idea in the world, now would it?
March 22, 2011 at 11:35 am
And if she fixed it because of this post then she’s handling it so well.
If most sellers who ended up on here had a sense of humor or good attitude about it I would probably still think about buying from them.
March 22, 2011 at 6:21 pm
She’s an April’s Army member! I’m glad to see she handled being featured with dignity.
March 22, 2011 at 7:46 pm
I heart any seller on Etsy that takes our jabs with dignity. It shows while they may have produced some fuckery, they obviously still “our people”.
March 22, 2011 at 11:28 am
OK, so it’s not vegan because we raped beehives to make the soap and/or may have stolen breastmilk from lactating women in the dark of night. The real question is, is it steampunk, and if not, how can we make it so?
March 22, 2011 at 11:35 am
watch gears in soap–ouch!
March 22, 2011 at 11:35 am
Just tag it ‘stampunk’ or ‘steampink’ or ‘punksteam’ or whatever. Don’t get bogged down in the details.
March 22, 2011 at 11:36 am
add lace.
March 22, 2011 at 11:50 am
I was thinking we could put some dead bees in it. Added exfoliating power and Steampunk credibility.
March 22, 2011 at 5:10 pm
Mmmm… Dead Bee Exfoliation… stingy!
March 23, 2011 at 12:26 am
To be steampunk, doesn’t it also need an octopus?
March 22, 2011 at 11:29 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 11:43 am
There are a number of sellers who label things as “vegan” with apparently little research.
The other day I messaged a seller who made “vegan” lollipops from honey (I was polite! maybe.), and the response I got was that there was “debate within the vegan community” about honey. LOL no there isn’t. It’s just one of those things non-vegan peeps get confused about, just like my grandpa thinks chicken is vegan if you only eat the white meat.
But then the seller went on to say she took off the “vegan” tag because she realized she made the lollipops with cream. The pops had been listed for months…
She also thanked me for not being a vegan douchebag (paraphrasing here) and not asking about bone char-processed sugar. SIGH. Thanks for being considerate of your apparent customer base.
March 22, 2011 at 11:56 am
maybe Vegan is the new Steampunk
March 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Well, actually, there is a debate about honey within the vegan community.
March 22, 2011 at 11:52 am
When I saw this I shit a brick.
Now I will sell it and no one will know it’s not this soap until it’s too late and I’ve already run off to the drug store and spent their money on laxatives.
March 22, 2011 at 11:53 am
Ok, so I breastfed my son for 6 months. I wasn’t getting enough milk to breastfeed only and had to formula feed. He spent a week in the NICU when he was born, and I had all kinds of problems making enough milk for him. Oh, and add in there a fun batch of post partum depression. If I knew someone at the time that was making enough milk to feed the kid and make soap out of the extra, I may have ripped her throat out. I know some women have bodies that make enough milk for villages of babies, and I know it’s usually a supply and demand kinda thing (the more you take, the more you make) but the idea that someone pumped out enough milk to make soap…I spend half an hour with my pump freezing cold in the dark at 3 am to get 3 oz to send with the kid to day care. I just don’t get it.
But anyway, next time my husband gets me knocked up, I’m totally making breast milk soap in the shape of boobs.
March 22, 2011 at 12:15 pm
I can think of nothing I’d rather smell like than a used lactation pad.
March 22, 2011 at 12:18 pm
Another “think of the babies” thing here. There are some babies that literally can only process human breast milk, and no other type of milk, and in the absence of breast milk, can only have soy formula, and sometimes not even that. Seriously. Are there not far, far better uses for breast milk?
@ Helen, once the goat or sheep loses the wool in a natural process, it no longer belongs to the animal. So you can take it. Like a found antler, in fact. (Though, other animals do use the antlers so it’s best to leave them.)
March 22, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Nerdbaby- you are so right! Disgust and “usefull”ness aside, could we please put this apparent surplus of breast milk to better use? Let the Red Cross or IBMP or your local hospital’s NICU use it for babies that need it, and spare the world both this soap and this grammar.
On another note – we are clear that ALL milk is breast milk, right? Consuming dairy is, by definition, helping yourself from “someone’s” boobies. (Before you ask: No, I’m not a vegan. Yes, I drink milk. No, not human milk. Not on purpose, anyway.)
March 22, 2011 at 2:58 pm
I suppose I’m one of the few that can see how feasible it is to produce that much breast milk. I’ve been dumping my excess down the sink though – didn’t know there was somewhere that could use the stuff.
As for the original product – definitely not interested in washing myself in someone elses breast milk, anyone who has breast fed has woken up to being soaked in their own, and it’s not the most pleasant feeling out there. I’ll pass.
March 23, 2011 at 12:31 am
If you’re not interested in making soap, you could use it for ice cream. Or maybe cheese.
March 23, 2011 at 7:07 am
AshG–it’s been years now, but I so remember waking up soaking in sour (by morning) milk… I don’t even like milk! Was so worth it!
March 22, 2011 at 12:20 pm
How does one even pump enough milk from themselves daily to be able to make enough soap to sell?
I’m getting images of an organic, free-range woman farm, all the ladies hooked up to milking pumps…
March 22, 2011 at 12:28 pm
I don’t know why, but the idea of someone else’s milk on my skin kind of skeeves me out. I mean, I’m all for breastfeeding. I breastfed all three of my children, but the thought of washing my girly parts with something that was excreted from a person I don’t know just really isn’t my cuppa-tea.
March 22, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Hmmm, she just might be a Regretsy reader… Her pomegranate soap is tagged as ‘not steampunk’.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67644336/perfect-pomegranate-cold-process-vegan?ref=v1_other_2
I don’t know, HK. You might have a Crease-and-Desist letter coming your way in a few days. Quick! Grab the nuteratants and run!
March 22, 2011 at 5:21 pm
she is a regretsy reader she gave soaps to the regretsy christmas shop
March 22, 2011 at 12:38 pm
This would make a good survival kit item in the event of a disaster.
March 22, 2011 at 12:40 pm
okay. i’ll say it if no one else will: it looks like a bar of ear wax.
March 22, 2011 at 12:56 pm
My earwax is always yellow…
March 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm
actually, ear wax color is genetically predetirmined. different races and different haplogroups have different colors. ear lobes too, are genetically detirmined.
March 22, 2011 at 7:25 pm
Ok I give up which group of people naturally have brown chunky ear wax?
March 22, 2011 at 12:43 pm
I think I’m going to be sick. Now I totally understand why schools don’t allow homemade baked goods anymore.
March 22, 2011 at 12:49 pm
That actually looks delicious. I would eat the hell out of it if I didn’t know it was vegan. And also soap.
March 22, 2011 at 4:00 pm
Maybe “vegan breast milk soap” is secret code for “delicious homemade hashish confections.” Feed your head, eat your soap.
March 22, 2011 at 1:10 pm
wait, are you telling me that I can have me some biohazard for only 4 bucks?!
March 22, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Just bought some of her dirty hippie soap. I love me some dirty hippies. Also, I love etsy sellers who can take a joke
March 22, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Why thumbs down? Come on!!
March 22, 2011 at 2:18 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 1:29 pm
WHOA MAN DEJA VU
Remember there was a massive butthurt/flounce on Facebook about some lactard who got pissy that we compared breast feeding to shitting?
I think she came back smarter and wiser and is tolling us all.
March 22, 2011 at 2:42 pm
No, I’m pretty sure that’s ear-wax.
March 22, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Holy shit, you guys.
March 22, 2011 at 3:05 pm
If I wanted to smear breast milk on my body I’d run around nd find new mothers and squeeze their boobs so they sprayed all over me. All the while screaming “Your liquid gold gives me the strength of ten men”. Because THAT makes more sense than this fucked up shit.
March 22, 2011 at 4:02 pm
Al, that sounds like a fetish porn. Type that shit up and sell it! LOL
March 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Rule 34.
March 22, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Perfect!
I have a research paper to do on breast milk banks, haven’t started it,
am too lazy to startdidn’t know where to start…Regretsy saves the day!
March 22, 2011 at 4:09 pm
This is only slightly above the level of gross that I got from reading on the Diva Cup website that their ‘Diva Wash’ can also be: “a [daily] facial cleanser or luxurious shower and bath gel.”
Yes ladies, with one convenient product you could simultaneously cleanse your body, face, and dirty vag-cup with a dip in the ol’ Diva Wash bath! Now that’s value!!
March 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Oh gosh – seems I made a mis-step somewhere with that last post. I do know some very dedicated Diva Cup proselytizers!
March 23, 2011 at 3:17 pm
hah! as a DC proselytizer myself…. I can say that you do have a point. Although that wash is a miracle, removing makeup like a boss.
March 22, 2011 at 6:04 pm
It’s not just the shitty spelling that does her in, it’s the lack of punctuation as well. Breast milk oatmeal, milk and honey.
Does this mean she’s lactating oatmeal with her breast milk? I guess it would make it easier when it was time to wean the kid to semi-solid food, but still…
March 22, 2011 at 6:05 pm
Look into a milk bank. My lactation nurse gave me some info about them.
For me, it was a combination of recovery from an emergency c-section, baby being in the NICU and not even being able to touch him for three days, and also having defective boobs. No, really. I lack enough proper glandular tissues in my boobs to make enough milk. My nurse told me it was probably from injuries when I played fast pitch softball. Ball hits the developing tissue, stunts it. Or it could be other reasons. I have defective boobs. One of those issues could probably have been worked with, but all together kinda messed things up. We made it to 6 months. Then I was in the hospital for four days, on some really strong antibiotics, and when we could go back to it, he wasn’t interested anymore. This is after I put up with months of him biting me when his teeth came in.
Little bastard is lucky he’s cute. And his father is rather fond of him.
March 22, 2011 at 7:18 pm
For those who wonder why the baby isn’t drinking the milk, some women pump daily to buildup supply, once frozen the milk is only good for a few months. So I’m guessing the soap is made from expired breast milk. Enjoy
March 22, 2011 at 8:11 pm
So maybe I’m a weirdo, but I have to use some fairly oddball soaps due to a combination of allergies and skin conditions and I’ve seen *and purchased* goat’s milk soap with honey and oatmeal in Meijer’s.
All things considered, I bet a lactating human woman probably has cleaner tits than a farm animal, especially given the relative position on the anatomy.
So… I’m not really that grossed out by this.
March 22, 2011 at 8:37 pm
UPDATE!!!!!
Okay, this thread is way too fucking long to see if someone else has already written this part, but, not only has this seller joined April’s Army, but she just posted a Forum thread with THE PERFECT EXPLANATION of her listing… you guys will LOVE this story, and then we’re all going to go buy out the rest of her store!
Read the thread:
http://www.etsy.com/teams/8522/aprils-army/discuss/6828333/page/1/?post_id=60398998
March 22, 2011 at 8:50 pm
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March 22, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Oh, the irony! My keyboard seriously needed that spray of nasal douche (a.k.a. iced tea).
March 23, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Thank you, thank you. Sleeping pills and posting do not go together. Lesson learned.
(at least it wasn’t ginger ale, KC!)
March 23, 2011 at 8:42 am
Just got me a bar of dirty hippie soap.
YAY!!
March 22, 2011 at 10:36 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2011 at 11:41 pm
I miiiiiight possibly have purchased her beer-shaped soap (the one that said proceeds to Regretsy’s charity fund). It was just so damned cute.
March 23, 2011 at 4:29 am
gosh, if breast milk = etsy’s questionable collection &use of private data and vegan = etsy’s didn’t blink an eye and still collects private data that has nothing to do with selling and bad spelling = etsy hasn’t changed any privacy settings and continues to collect this data (for another leak), then enough pressure might have actually affected what etsy does to its sellers.
March 23, 2011 at 11:24 am
I’m actually wondering if this is a joke or not. The seller demonstrates that she can in fact spell in her other listings. Her other “vegan” listings really are vegan, and the breast milk seems to be the only atrocious item.
March 23, 2011 at 11:43 am
I can’t tell what makes me want to buy that soap more: the mislabeled veganism, the spelling errors, or the fact that the product itself looks like something that comes out of my dogs when they get into the trash. Truly a work of art.
March 23, 2011 at 10:47 pm
i’m shocked we haven’t seen “period soap” yet.
March 24, 2011 at 4:26 am
I prefer my titty juice to be cage-free and open range, as well.
August 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm
Ugh, breast milk is PERISHABLE.