Kids Love Corpses
If there’s one thing kids love, it’s old photos of dead bodies rotting in the mud. They go nuts for it. Particularly when there are puppies in the mix. I mean yes, obviously it would have been better if the puppies were also dead, but you can’t have everything.
This is also great to hang in church! What an upllifting message for the congregation. Sometimes innocent people are burned to death because God is bored and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it!
AMEN
March 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Time to revoke this sellers Cut and Paste card…
March 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm
*seller’s
March 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm
When did the Westboro Baptist Church start selling on Etsy?
March 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm
This is the “be thankful for what you have because you could be dead and rotting in the mud” lecture illustration. What? You don’t use that one?
March 8, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Which Station of the Cross was that?;-)
March 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Death is the new yellow, the perfect theme for a unisex nursery.
March 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm
“Kids, only YOU can prevent… oh, never mind. No one can prevent this shit. Sleep well.”
March 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Is “volcanic ejecta” a euphemism?
March 8, 2011 at 2:23 pm
Somebody’s got to open up a dialogue with the children about volcanic ejecta. That’s something you just don’t want them learning about on the streets.
March 8, 2011 at 12:46 pm
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March 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm
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March 8, 2011 at 12:46 pm
lol “antique photo print”
That was totally copied from a book.
March 8, 2011 at 12:46 pm
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March 8, 2011 at 12:47 pm
Can we view it in a daycare?
March 8, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Walla!
March 8, 2011 at 4:58 pm
“Now practice screaming in horror like you’re drowning in volcanic ejacta, kids!”
March 8, 2011 at 7:05 pm
“Now let’s sing the Duck and Cover Song!”
March 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm
My question is…
Can I get this blown up for a full size wall mural? I want my child to grow up feeling like they’re part of the action.
They’ll just be part of the scene when we play “the floor is lava.”
March 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Mt. Taal?
Not Mt. Grande or Mt. Vente?
March 8, 2011 at 12:49 pm
Cut. Paste. Cry.
March 8, 2011 at 12:50 pm
I think I saw this in the new Pottery Barn kids catalog. It’s the Damien collection.
March 8, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Show of hands: How many of you went “Awww” when you saw those two surviving puppies? And now who went “Awww” over the rotting corpses? Exactly. It’s all about the puppies.
March 8, 2011 at 12:51 pm
Heck, why not a hospital visiting room while we’re at it? Nothing sez “cheerful innocence” like antique scenes of desolation!
March 8, 2011 at 7:06 pm
The burn unit. Yeah, ew. I hate when my brain spits out things like that.
March 8, 2011 at 12:51 pm
I am going to start a band called “Volcanic Ejecta.”
March 8, 2011 at 2:25 pm
I bet Dave Barry would join it.
March 8, 2011 at 12:53 pm
When you have an eight-foot tall guy nailed to a fifteen-foot tall cross front & center, everything else pales in comparison.
March 8, 2011 at 1:20 pm
I love you, even if momentarily.
March 9, 2011 at 5:18 pm
I love how the ultimate symbol of Christianity is the Saviour being tortured to death….or in plainer versions, just the torture device alone.
Creepy, much?
Sssokay, I’ll just be over here idolizing my solid 24k gold pendant of a guy getting whipped to death on the rack. WHY DO YOU THINK THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME???
March 8, 2011 at 12:54 pm
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March 8, 2011 at 12:54 pm
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March 8, 2011 at 12:54 pm
Maybe with a few Disney characters photo-shopped in. Often lack of color in children’s artwork can cause lack of interest in the piece, especially at dusk, approaching bedtime.
March 8, 2011 at 12:55 pm
I should get in touch with the seller and see if he wants to collaborate with me on my new book, “A Child’s Garden of Corpses.”
March 8, 2011 at 12:59 pm
You can hang this next to this wonderful vintage print that is also great for a child’s room:
“Now just remember son, 1) Santa isn’t real and only idiots believe in something so stupid and 2) We all die alone, screaming. Sweet dreams.”
March 8, 2011 at 1:14 pm
You forgot to add “surrounded by volcanic ejecta”.
March 8, 2011 at 2:06 pm
Hm. I don’t think Norman Rockwell’s estate would be pleased.
March 8, 2011 at 4:08 pm
I almost choked. That was awesome.
March 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm
I don’t think that electrical cord is SFW, and what else has he found in those drawers?
March 8, 2011 at 1:00 pm
So I can just like… copy pictures out of books and sell them on Etsy?
March 8, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Yes you can! and not only that you can post over a thousand! This guy is wasting nearly 200 dollars posting on etsy.
March 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm
“Everything from King Paper is original and not a copy!”
On the other hand they use phrases like “you will a actually get a 36 year old piece of art!” to describe a page from a book, and tag the same item as “vintage”.
March 8, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Okay, what’s everyone going to do for me if I put this in my five year old’s room?
March 8, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Whatever you get you can put it towards his years and years of therapy.
March 8, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Hers, but same difference.
March 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm
I dunno what’s worse. The fact this ‘seller’ (I use that term oh so loosely) suggests a child’s room or the fact they suggest a church. Yeesh. Hell, why not suggest great grammy’s room at the local nursing home? She’ll feel like she’s in the morgue already!
March 8, 2011 at 1:06 pm
this is the same kind of rage and hatred for humanity i feel when i’m hiring at work, and find halfway through an applicant’s cover letter that they forgot to change one of the references in their generic form from the place they applied to right before to the place they are applying to now: “I feel my vast work experience would benefit Fluffy McNutter’s Pancake House… blah blah blah blah… And the job at Schnoodly Magoo’s Pet Store is perfect for my go-getter nature!”
March 8, 2011 at 1:22 pm
If there was one pet store I could shop at, it would be Schnoodly Magoo’s Pet Store.
March 8, 2011 at 1:34 pm
you can hire me!
March 9, 2011 at 7:11 am
I work in a writing center at a technical college. I once had two History essays from the same student and detected a little … something … familiar … in the mistakes I was correcting on the second. Essay 2 was a cut-and-paste of essay 1. Admittedly both were about Marxists but DEAR GOD CHILD.
March 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm
Wonder it it’s available in scratch & sniff.
March 8, 2011 at 1:18 pm
I didn’t get the bit about the puppies ’til I blew up the photo to read the caption to find that THOSE ARE PUPPIES IN THE GUY’S HAND. I felt better about it when I thought they were rocks.
Also, one of the tags is “ephemera”–nothing says ephemeral to me like death, mud and wet ash.
K, I’m done.
March 8, 2011 at 4:38 pm
And nothing says “children’s room” to me like searching for ephemera — that’s my son’s theme for the nursery!
March 8, 2011 at 1:19 pm
Oh, yeah. Children and church-goers LOVE desolation scenery.
March 8, 2011 at 1:25 pm
This is so not suitable for a kid’s room.
It needs a peeled, tanned rabbit face. Or some glitter. Or both.
March 8, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Here’s another image in his shop. While he tagged the volcano photo “ephemera”, he tagged this one “creepy”.
OKAY, NOW I GET IT.
March 8, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Arthur Rackham isn’t public domain either. Now this fucker is REALLY pissing me off.
March 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm
In all fairness, Arthur Rackham has been dead for 72 years which places his work in the Public Domain, at least in the UK.
March 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Crude! Plus, I think this picture is quite pretty. And whimsicle. Although not nearly as suitable as children’s bedroom decor.
March 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Derp, I just realized it looks as though I’m calling Easily Distracted “crude,” when I really meant stealing photos, especially if they are still under copyright. Double derp.
March 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm
Obviously, Alice in wonderland is too creepy for a children’s room — where are the surviving puppies?
March 8, 2011 at 1:28 pm
Actually, that photo does kind of remind me of fifth grade recess. Except for the puppies, of course.
March 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm
That’s from Rackham’s illustrated Alice in Wonderland. Beautiful book. Can we string up this copyright violating shit now?
March 8, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Yeah, I’m pretty sure this guy is completely unaware of copyright infringement law. His whole shop is books that he’s taken apart.
March 8, 2011 at 10:37 pm
If he’s just razoring them out of the books, it’s not infringement.
March 9, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Actually, I meant the original volcano devastation photo.
March 8, 2011 at 1:29 pm
March 8, 2011 at 2:28 pm
and volcanic ejecta…
March 8, 2011 at 1:40 pm
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March 8, 2011 at 1:57 pm
It There is going to be one very surprised and deeply haunted 5 year old real soon.
March 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm
I’m not surprised. Antique (children’s?) photos are in high demand.
March 8, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Wow… old newspaper clippings are considered “art”.
It would go great along with the wall-mounted LCD TV that’s streaming the live volcano cam from Hawaii.
March 8, 2011 at 1:59 pm
and relics from Pompeii in the credenza.
March 8, 2011 at 7:12 pm
My late MIL was fascinated by geology. I remember when Mt. St. Helens was rumbling several years ago, I collected local newspaper clippings and sent them to her. She was a retired pathologist and loved dogs, too, but I think even she would have found the idea of putting this on a wall morbid.
March 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Forget trust funds, forget inheritance, forget life insurance, just save all your morning paper and magazines for your kids to sell on etsy when they get older. Best of all it’s tax free!
March 8, 2011 at 2:18 pm
But is it steampunk?
March 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm
My daughter freaked out 15 minutes into Free Willy! There is no way I could put this in her room, she would never forgive me…
March 8, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Well, maybe this is important. At least you can exploit your beliefs into their subconscience by telling them this is what happens when they touch themselves at night.
March 9, 2011 at 7:14 am
Eh, after shipping and provided you carpool, it’s cheaper to send ‘em to youth group for that message.
March 8, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I might not have minded that so much when I was a child. The Peter Rabbit wallpaper my parents had in my room really began to freak me out…
March 8, 2011 at 2:38 pm
My greatest etsy fear! To copy the listing and to forget appropriate editing…
March 8, 2011 at 2:40 pm
This will go nicely with their dried placenta teddy bear!
March 8, 2011 at 2:44 pm
And in case you think I made that up:
http://www.inhabitots.com/doing-it-for-the-kids-design-exhibition-placenta-teddy-bear/
March 8, 2011 at 3:19 pm
this phrase alone will keep me up at night:
“A crafty alternative for those who don’t necessarily want to eat their baby’s placenta, but want to pay their respects to the life sustaining organ by turning it into a one-of-a-kind teddy bear”
March 8, 2011 at 4:16 pm
I can’t think of a better way to honor the unity of infant, mother and placenta. Oh wait, yes I can!
March 8, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I dunno, I think I’d keep it in a jar for whenever someone I didn’t like came to call. “Did I show you the Teddy Bear I made out of a placenta? No? Oh, come in, come in!”
Poof, no more Jehova’s Witnesses!
March 8, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Even in a jar by the door I think it’d keep me up at night. I mean, Chucky is scary enough without being made of actual human tissue.
Plus I always hated teddy bears.
March 8, 2011 at 8:21 pm
Fiction doesn’t really stand a chance in the strange stakes, does it?
March 8, 2011 at 2:40 pm
You know, some kids really would like this stuff. And not necessarily just the weird ones. Kids get freaked out by different stuff than adults.
When my kid was in pre-K, her teachers asked the class where they would like to go for a field trip. My kid jumped right up, all excited, to suggest that they visit a cemetery. The teachers were leaning more towards Chuck E. Cheese. But the class voted for “cemetery.”
March 8, 2011 at 4:03 pm
my dad is the superintendent of a cemetery. my grade school was located right down the street and we used to go there to do grave rubbings for art class. i felt like a celebrity.
March 8, 2011 at 2:46 pm
…and this is why you pick up your room.
March 8, 2011 at 3:22 pm
Psst, Nico! Over here! Shhh- this isn’t a Regretsy comment- don’t tell anyone… I loved your blog post about The Room! How did you get your blog linked to your Regretsy comments?
March 8, 2011 at 3:55 pm
First of all, THANK YOU. You just made my day. Secondly, I did it the same way you did – your blog appears to be linked to your comments too.
March 8, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Cool- I didn’t realize it because it didn’t show up right away. Now I need to figure out how to upload a profile pic. Anyone? Bueller?
March 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm
Hmmm. . .bad pic for a Dr. Demento fan to see. I will now have the “Dead Puppies” song in my mind for the rest of the day!
March 8, 2011 at 2:54 pm
A point to self:
if you list 2000 items in the space of two months you will get a nice number of sales even in the quietest of times
March 8, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Oh, thanks. Now I’ll have it stuck, too.
I’ll have to sing “Fish Heads” to get rid of it.
March 8, 2011 at 10:26 pm
Oops. This was supposed to be one spot higher.
March 8, 2011 at 2:55 pm
From the Pottery Barn Kids catalog:
March 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Fan-fuckery-tastic!
March 8, 2011 at 4:02 pm
You forgot the Godwins!
March 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm
What, no self-immolating monks?
March 8, 2011 at 11:52 pm
Oooh. An original Kent State… without the post being edited out from behind that guy’s head. Lucky child!
March 9, 2011 at 7:16 am
I’ve been here too long. I glanced over the balloon quickly and then my eyes were dragged back because I thought it was a vulva.
March 8, 2011 at 2:59 pm
This seller has the “child’s room” comment on almost all his stuff! Cut and paste sloppiness, indeed. But what’s making me angry and not just amused is the fact that he calls a page cut out of a book of poster art a “vintage poster.” The price gives it away that it’s no such thing, but still… Grrr.
March 8, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Nothing makes you appreciate your living room more than to hang in it a photo of people neither living, or indeed in a room.
March 8, 2011 at 3:21 pm
even better are the Godeys Ladies Book listings, which are NOT from the late 1800s, but are the reprints from the 1960s that every damn vintage shop carried for a while. (nicely framed of course)
March 8, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Exactly.
March 8, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Perhaps if your goal is to scare the shit out of your children.
Kids if you don’t behave the volcano will come and get you!
March 8, 2011 at 4:06 pm
I didn’t actually read the caption at first, and thought the guy had his hands in a weird, “Hey, how about this volcanic ejecta?!” sort of way. Derp.
Puppies=squee factor. Every. Time.
March 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm
There is no way in hell I would put this in my kid’s room!
It would steal focus from the charming Nazi war camp mural.
March 8, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I’m sure Wednesday and Pugsly would love having this hanging in their rooms. All kids love puppies.
March 8, 2011 at 5:22 pm
My 9-year old son might dig it. He said “K, K, K.” last night (short for okay okay okay) and then started laughing and saying, “I said KKK” which he just learned about in school.
So, apparently I’ve raised a child who thinks lynchings are funny.
Best Mother of the Year…
March 8, 2011 at 7:19 pm
My siblings and I all have names beginning in K. My grandmother never understood that addressing packages meant for all of us to “KKK” was a bad idea.
March 8, 2011 at 6:31 pm
“World War II in Colour: Baby Edition”
March 8, 2011 at 6:44 pm
ok tell me what year did it erupt 1911 or 1912
March 8, 2011 at 10:39 pm
The copy listing tool was a gift, but it should only be used for good.
March 8, 2011 at 11:49 pm
This seller currently has 1542 listings. If you have so many listings, you don’t have time to make sure the descriptions are accurate & appropriate, *perhaps* you should list fewer items. Also, how disappointed would you be if you were a child & and your parents bought you *this* to hang in your room?
March 9, 2011 at 6:35 am
I didn’t have it framed on the wall, but I had a small obsession with the Pompeii dog when I was a kid. Seeing it in real life at the museum was almost like meeting a movie star.
OK, now that I see that in print, it doesn’t look so good . . .
March 9, 2011 at 7:59 am
“This is also great to hang in church! What an upllifting message for the congregation. Sometimes innocent people are burned to death because God is bored and there’s not a fucking thing you can do about it!”
Uplifting? Maybe not, but probably a hell of a lot more accurate than the message being spread by most churches I’ve been to.
March 9, 2011 at 11:34 am
I admire the chutzpah of scanning in an old newspaper photo and selling it for five bucks.
March 9, 2011 at 12:03 pm
If you’re a kid in the Adams Family or one of the Munsters, sure, this would look great in your room. Otherwise, WTF?
March 13, 2011 at 8:05 pm
That is too weird they would suggest it for a kid’s room. Then again a couple hired me to do a painting for their NURSERY.
March 14, 2011 at 2:11 pm
I was going to get this for my daughter on her 2nd birthday. It is in June, do you think they will sell out if I don’t order immediately?
-Meghan
http://big-belliedbeautysguidetodisneyworld.blogspot.com/
March 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm
There’s a chance the first sentance was sarcasm.