CHRYSANTHEMUM IS THE NEW OCTOPUS
ONCE IT’S GONE, IT’S GONE FOREVER
UNLESS YOU WANT IT IN GREEN
OR PURPLE
OR SALMON
OR VINTAGE
OR STEAMPUNK
WE ALSO HAVE IT ON A PLATE
IN A BOOK
IN A PLANT
IN RICE
ON A STARFISH WITH BAD POETRY (IS LIMITED EDITION) BARN WOOD! BARN WOOD! BARN WOOD! BUY HAND ASSEMBLED
March 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm
It’s starting to look like spring in here!
Sorry about the optimism. I don’t know what came over me…
March 8, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Gluing is hard.
March 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm
HEY! Hot glue guns are no joke; they injure dozens of crafters every year!
March 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm
No joke at all, I have some 3rd degree hot glue gun burns.
But at least my shit really is unique. Just like my scars!
March 8, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Yeah, there’s definitely a difference between assemblage and “let me glue this plastic piece of crap to this pot metal piece of crap.”
This kind of “crafting” enrages me. When idiots call themselves crafters because they glue silk flowers onto flip flops, or because they knit tube scarves on huge circs with fun fur in garter stitch it makes me want to shove their elementary school level krafts down their throats until they choke. Because they are the reason arts and crafts no longer means fine handmade works of art with master craftsmanship, but “I STRUNG THESE PLASTIC BEADS ON SOME STEEL FLEXIWIRE AND ADDED A PREFAB CLASP AND IT’S ART AND YOU SHOULD PAY ME $60 FOR IT LOLOLOLOL.” And I cry.
I mean, uh…sorry. Like I said, filled with incoherent rant-inducing rage.
March 8, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you for clarifying my thoughts exactly. Oh, and if you dare mention this on the Etsy forum all of a sudden you’re an “asshole” and “who are you to judge.” A person who has a brain!! That’s who!
March 8, 2011 at 10:36 pm
I don’t bother with the forums, since my general forum activity happens here and 4chan. (yeah, I’m THAT kind of retarded). I’m too much of a troll for overly-sensitive dipwads that can’t handle the truth.
Who am I to judge? I’ll tell you who I am to judge, I’m a motherfucking artist, newfags. And I craft my own motherfucking jewelry. Not with glue, but with actual metal, and with actual tools and I actually make my own molds from actual plants that I’ve usually grown in my actual garden, or collected myself. And my actual work, and other amazing, fantastic, lovely work that I’ve seen on Etsy gets drowned out by shit glued to crap. THAT’S WHO I AM, YOU WHIMSICLE FUCKERS.
(Not, obviously aimed at you, but I couldn’t post that on Etsy’s forum as I’d like to, so you get to bear my wrath.)
March 9, 2011 at 12:42 am
Note: This is much funnier if you imagine Natalie Portman rapping it. Because when I’m angry and ranting in my head, it’s Natalie portman throwing chair at people’s heads all the way.
March 9, 2011 at 10:02 am
3 months ago I dropped some hot glue on my hand and reflexively (is that a word?) brushed it right off. It took a bunch of skin with it and now it has this huge scar that I stare at in regret for minutes per day. The worst part is that it’s on my left hand and I have always kept that one pristine for those wedding pictures with the bride and groom’s hands with the wedding bands. I can’t believe I’ve tarnished my hand after all these years. I might as well stop dating.
March 8, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 8, 2011 at 4:17 pm
God. Damn. It.
Last year, I got a tattoo of an octopus holding a dahlia. Now I get to burn it off, and all thanks to Etsy. I hope the chickens are happy.
March 8, 2011 at 4:22 pm
I think We (the Regretsy Nation) need to see pics of this tattoo. Octopus and dahlia? What are the odds they’d show up within such a short period of time on Regretsy.
March 8, 2011 at 4:23 pm
Can you post a picture of it?
March 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm
March 8, 2011 at 4:33 pm
March 8, 2011 at 4:34 pm
You’re allll welcome, for the armpit hair. Enjoy.
March 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm
That. Is. Amazing. You’re so far ahead of the etsy fashion curve it’s astounding!
March 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm
Steampunkoo!
March 8, 2011 at 4:55 pm
U R PSYCHIC
March 8, 2011 at 7:30 pm
Thats pretty awesome! I’ve got an octopus on my leg, and a squid on my arm. I got them a few years ago, and it saddens me as well to see them become so hipster.
March 8, 2011 at 8:18 pm
you are a fashion-forward trend setter!
I like your ink.
and your armpit hair.
March 9, 2011 at 8:57 am
I love you. You had me at “armpit hair”
March 20, 2011 at 9:51 pm
At least it’s a killer octopus.
March 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm
What other tattoos do you have? I want to get a jump on the next Etsy trend.
March 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm
Now that’s irony!
March 8, 2011 at 7:14 pm
OMG THAT’S SO COOL AND WAY MORE COOL THAN UNIQUE OCTOPUS AND UNIQUE CHRYSANTHEMUM AND I’M TOTALLY JEALOUS OF YOUR INK.*Breaths*
Clearly Etsy sellers are just trying to copy you to profit off of your genius.
March 9, 2011 at 6:45 am
I would really love to see your jewelry – sounds like you make some cool stuff!
March 8, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I thought you were kidding. You rock steady.
March 8, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Bitchin’ ink, and, may I add, hand-made.
March 9, 2011 at 5:13 am
I dunno, looks like the work of Chinese resellers to me.
March 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Just start wearing a single sleeve over that arm; problem solved. Preferably, one attached to a scarf.
March 8, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Hmmm…what would be the right term for a sleeve-scarf-snood-hood? Could this be the next Etsy octopus?
March 8, 2011 at 11:12 pm
what would be the right term for a sleeve-scarf-snood-hood?
“pretentious crap.”
March 8, 2011 at 4:51 pm
My vote for comment of the day. Especially with the pictorial proof.
March 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm
wait until I get my barnwood tattoo, then we’ll see who’s awesome…
March 8, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Get it all over your body. You could rent yourself out to Etsy seller’s as a model!
March 10, 2011 at 10:21 pm
Oh my, this whole post has me laughing. Awesome tat.
March 8, 2011 at 4:18 pm
One of a kind. Unless you want it in pink
or purple
or vintage
We also have it on a plate
and on rice
and on a star fish.
I kept laughing more and more as I scrolled down.
March 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm
It even sounds like poetry!
March 8, 2011 at 7:17 pm
It sounds like something Billy Mays would say. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! See it in a plant, or on some barnwood! And out new, limited, special edition on a book! ORDER NOW!
March 9, 2011 at 2:03 am
Well, maybe not something he’d say now… unless it was by ouija board.
March 9, 2011 at 10:55 am
Billy Mays will live forever. He’s there, in your heart, telling you to buy weird shit you don’t need.
March 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm
i want it with green eggs and ham, god damnit!
March 8, 2011 at 7:23 pm
I thought of green eggs and ham, too.
March 8, 2011 at 11:50 pm
So did I.
The morale of the story is: never believe you have a strikingly original comment idea, you’ll get beat to the punch by at least 2 people.
March 8, 2011 at 9:45 pm
March 8, 2011 at 10:38 pm
Mmmmmmmmmmm, cake
March 8, 2011 at 11:38 pm
“I do not like flowers they are no good.
I do not like them on barn wood!
Not on dish, not on a starfish!
I do not like them with your “artistic powers,”
I DO NOT LIKE RINGS WITH FLOWERS!”
March 9, 2011 at 6:52 am
But would you like them in a book?
Would you like to take a look?
Would you like them vintage style?
Surely you can shop a while!
March 9, 2011 at 8:42 am
I had to register just to tell you that you are now my new hero!!
March 9, 2011 at 10:30 am
I know you may
Think it’s just junk,
But can’t you tell?
It’s pure STEAMPUNK!!!
March 8, 2011 at 4:19 pm
May the handcrafting gods forgive me… I kinda like these.
March 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Lol me too >.< well some of them.
March 9, 2011 at 2:04 am
It’d probably be cheaper to buy the supplies and whip up your own batch of unique fuckery.
March 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm
i do too. i think i’ll head to forever 21 and buy one.
March 8, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Me too! I kinda want one!
March 8, 2011 at 4:57 pm
I think they’re really cute, even if they’re made a billion at a time in a vintage steampunk Chinese factory.
March 8, 2011 at 11:52 pm
In China, the steam in “steampunk” is made with rice cookers. As for the punk part, I don’t know yet.
March 9, 2011 at 3:28 am
From the American Heritage Dictionary:
punk (pÅngk) pronunciation
n.
1. Dry decayed wood, used as tinder.
2. Any of various substances that smolder when ignited, used to light fireworks.
3. Chinese incense.
Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/punk#ixzz1G6IfmmU9 .
tldr: Barnwood
March 14, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Ahhh, so I bought one. It was worth ten dollars. This rose is fucking huge. I could kill a man with it.
March 8, 2011 at 7:08 pm
One of my FB friends makes sets of earrings and a matching ring for, like, $8 or some shit. She makes no bones about them being cheap. If she’d make a simple pendant to go with the earrings instead of the ring, I’d be all over it. I just can’t figure out what I’d do with the ring.
March 8, 2011 at 8:48 pm
O, rings are pretty simple to figure out. They go on you fingers.
No worries. ^_^
March 8, 2011 at 8:08 pm
Oh, good, I thought I was going crazy for a minute. I like flowers, and filigree, and lots of other frilly/girly/overly cutesy things. But all the rings that are in style right now are HUGE gaudy things, and I have tiny hands. Curses!
March 20, 2011 at 9:54 pm
It’s not that they’re not cute, they’re just not remotely handmade and pretty effing lazy. I can do that if I could find the supplies. Oh wait, I think they sell that mass produced shit on etsy too.
March 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
I love your Dr. Suess reference. Me and the Kid have been watching a lot of those old episodes on Dvd *wink*
As for the rings- totally original!
March 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Once all 4,682,846,935,182 are gone, they’re gone forever!!!
March 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Well, until I see one with 5 of the same flower on one ring, I’m holding out. These are nearly unique, vintage, or steampunk enough for me. And frankly, I need at least one of those flowers to be neon orange.
March 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Neon orange would be sweet. Ooh, or how about neon flames? Neon rainbow?
March 9, 2011 at 9:24 am
That’s it. I now need one ring with 6 flowers, one neon orange and one neon rainbow.
March 8, 2011 at 4:20 pm
Oh, that is so sad. Because I would have seen this in a store and maybe bought one because, hey, it’s pretty.
I’m not quite sure what to think now.
THANKS HK, YOU RUINED EVERYTHING FOR ME FOREVER! EVERYTHING! FOREVER!
(anyone want to split a bag of these flowers with me? I have a glue gun!)
March 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Only if we can glue them onto something that also contains an octopus and a gear.
March 8, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Is it bad that I really DO want to split a bag of these with you? I think this is a craft I could really get into. With a little (or no) hard work, I will be a glue-gunning master of chrysanthemum jewelery. I’ll even pick most of the little strings off before I photograph my creations for etsy!
March 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Dudes…will split bag, and can order all that crappy brass wholesale. “convo me!”
March 8, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Oh no, HK! You’ve started a plastic chrysanthemum craze now!
March 9, 2011 at 5:29 am
according to the National Floral Association, chrysanthemums are the new “in” flower.
I was at a trade show this weekend.
yes there were flowers – it rocked.
March 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Well, chrysanthemum on a cracker!
March 8, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Well, OK. Just varnish the cracker first.
March 8, 2011 at 7:41 pm
We can’t just leave it at that! Stick that sucker to a headband, make it an absolutely whimsicle fascinator.
March 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm
What? It’s too hard to get these ON an octopus?
March 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Not at all.
March 8, 2011 at 7:20 pm
That’s terrifying. It’s like the Elder Gods have started a garden of soul-eating flowers to drive you mad.
March 8, 2011 at 7:43 pm
Awesome.
March 8, 2011 at 11:13 pm
That gave me a barnwoody.
March 9, 2011 at 3:52 am
Ooh, Crysathepuss.
March 9, 2011 at 6:42 am
I like that he has port and starboard eyes.
March 8, 2011 at 7:30 pm
What about an octopus with a chrysanthemum head?
March 8, 2011 at 7:52 pm
Chrysanthemum with an octopus head? Too far?
March 9, 2011 at 5:30 am
how about on a beige bandeau top? they could be pasties?
March 8, 2011 at 4:21 pm
What chinese webpage we can get the barn-wood from?
March 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Crap. I got all excited because I thought they were actually pretty…
now I see it’s resin eBay fuckery on bran wood.
*sad panda*
March 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm
I will not wear it in a box.
I will not wear it with a fox.
Not in a car. Not in the rain.
Not while riding on a train.
March 8, 2011 at 4:25 pm
I am so sick of seeing this same ring ALL OVER ETSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and those ring bases they are on, i have bought them elsewhere before and they last 5 minutes they are so bendy
March 8, 2011 at 8:19 pm
Yes – I can’t stand the cheap metal that most costume jewelry is made with. I like the design enough that I wouldn’t mind paying a little more to get a ring that won’t break on the way home.
March 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm
You can glue it on a plane,
You can glue it on a train,
You can wear it as a ring,
You can wear it on any thing.
Buy a lot, now don’t be dumb…
Forget the octopus, its Chrysantemum!
March 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm
bran wood. see? It fucked me all up.
I MEANT BARN WOOD…with googly eyes….and a moustache….worn by a little hipster vegan fucker.
March 8, 2011 at 4:29 pm
Does it come in buttplug?
March 8, 2011 at 7:28 pm
Yes.
March 8, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Thankyou so much. Chrysanthemum makes everything better. That buttplug looks scarily like recorder (wooden end-blown flute). I hope it’s ceramic.
March 8, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Oh god. Now I have the image of a recorder butt plug in my head. Thanks. (Whole new meaning for “blowing smoke up your ass,” eh?)
I think it is? I dunno, I just went to Etsy and did a search for butt plug and that came up. There were a couple wood ones that came up as well that made me want to cry.
March 8, 2011 at 8:12 pm
I like it: The Musical Butt Plug a newly discovered work by GF Handel, for recorder and bassoon.
Of course the all chrysanthemum butt-plug would be a challenge. The wooden sex toy – wince.
March 8, 2011 at 10:19 pm
..and if you ate a lot of beans you could be TRULY musical
March 9, 2011 at 6:09 am
Music for the Royal Buttplug, by Handel, performed by Le Petomaine.
March 9, 2011 at 6:55 am
WHERE DO I BUY ONE THAT’S GORGEOUS.
Actually … it’s probably a lot less anatomically problematic than a lot of the ones we see on Regretsy.
March 8, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I love that some of them are vintage and some of them are not
March 8, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I’m waiting for it on a corpse. For the kids.
March 8, 2011 at 4:35 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 8, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I think the bulk of it comes from the “once they’re gone, they’re gone forever!” remark in the first one: the seller is trying to create a sense of urgency for an item that can easily be found elsewhere.
March 8, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Yeah you’re right. I shouldn’t make fun of things that are trendy, overpriced and take no skill.
March 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Another one of the main problems is that it’s a mass-produced flower, and a mass-produced ring. Now, if you were casting these things yourself out of resin, or using them as part of a hand-assembled necklace … But wielding a glue gun to put the two together doesn’t really qualify as a marketable skill.
(Although, if it did, damn, I would be rolling in the dough!)
March 8, 2011 at 8:23 pm
Just think of the angst you’d have if you DID carve this and then cast it yourself, only to find it being knocked off in China for a few cents each.
March 8, 2011 at 11:16 pm
Wielding a glue gun isn’t a marketable skill. It’s occupational therapy.
March 8, 2011 at 8:22 pm
Hey if you glue it to your upper lip, it IS a moustache!
March 8, 2011 at 4:37 pm
These rings are all identical, so they’re obviously mass-market crap, passed off as handmade (or vintage), so certainly “not remotely handmade”.
I point this out because, at the risk of garnering a slew of thumbs down, I’m a little tweaked about this new focus on “assembled” jewelry. Most handmade jewelry is assembled. Unless you pull & form your own wire, cut & solder your own chain, and torch/fire your own glass, you’re “assembling”, whether it’s done with nuggets of jade or cheap, plastic flowers.
Mind you, it’s true that some “assembled” pieces take almost no creativity. Even on Etsy, these are often derided as “charm on a chain” sellers. But where do you draw the line, you know? (That’s a rhetorical question, BTW. I honestly don’t want to hijack this thread for that. I just finally felt compelled to say something about the sand in my vagina. Carry on.)
March 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm
There are a fair number of people though who cast their own resin, blow their own glass, et cetera, and I think that’s the kind of seller we need to go find and shower with praise and/or money.
Also, I’m sorry about the sand. (:
March 8, 2011 at 5:01 pm
But there are nearly zero sellers who do all of those things. Most people who blow their own glass beads, don’t also form their own wire and cut and solder their own chains. Most people who cut and form their own metal components don’t also cut their own gemstones and blow their own glass. At some point, unless you’re selling multi-thousand dollar, museum quality pieces, you’re assembling. I’m pulling this number directly out of my ass (so, you know, caveat lector and all that shit), but I’m guessing the number of people in the US doing that level of “handmade” is in the very, very low hundreds. Not that I wouldn’t love to be one of them, of course.
March 8, 2011 at 5:06 pm
True that; but if you’re going to all the hard work of blowing your own glass beads, maybe we can go a little easier on buying chain? People who make chain-maille probably don’t forge their own iron rings, but we still call that an enviable skill.
March 8, 2011 at 5:11 pm
There is a world between making your own chains and cutting your own gem stones, and gluing two pieces of mass produced shit together.
March 8, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Oh, for sure there’s some kind of spectrum that runs from gluing a piece of plastic shit to another piece of plastic shit all the way up to mining your own metals. I’m just saying that nearly all handmade jewelry is “hand assembled”, even the stuff most people would regard as really good and really creative.
That said, I’m just going to shut up about it, because if I keep at it, I really will be hijacking, and I said I wasn’t going to do that!
March 8, 2011 at 6:20 pm
Actually, outside of the glass-blowing, a surprising number of those things are often done by the same person, provided they have the tools for it (which is usually the difficulty). I took a metalcrafting course once that focused on jewelry, and by the end of it nearly everyone except myself was turning out jewelry which was creative and even relatively complex to make – drawing and shaping wire, soldering, riveting, etching, sawing and so on.
I could never get the hang of any of that technical shit so I worked my ass off for a B. On a related note, I’m going to be mounting all of my drawings on barn wood from now on
March 10, 2011 at 3:11 am
Actually thre’s a little known law for artists who sell “assemblages” … the components must cost no more than 25% of the finished retail price. That supposedly keeps people from buying $5 resin flowers and gluing them onto $2 rings and selling the resulting horror for $10. To be legally “original” … the price would have to be a minimum of $28.
March 8, 2011 at 5:00 pm
I think the point was because the first one says it was created in limited quanitites, and will be “gone forever” once she’s sold out. To me, this post was more about the rings being readily available despite what the first listing states, and not really about being hand-assembled vs. handmade.
March 8, 2011 at 7:38 pm
For me the guiding principle is “if it’s an appropriate craft for a 10-year-old’s birthday party then it shouldn’t be sold on Etsy.”
March 8, 2011 at 8:26 pm
crap. then what am I going to do with all my leftover fariy bear kits I got from oriental trading for my kid’s birthday party?
March 8, 2011 at 5:22 pm
Yeah, that’s occurred to me too. But I think April’s point here was more to make fun of the fact that the first ring was marketed as a “limited edition OOAK.”
Also, there is plenty of “assembled” jewelry that actually takes lots of creativity. Putting beads and findings together to create attractive jewelry takes some talent. (I know this, because I lack that talent.) Taking one resin flower and gluing it to a ring, however, is pretty much “kindergarten craft activity” level.
March 9, 2011 at 6:58 am
This thin-skinned assembler says THANK YOU, katemonster.
March 8, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Sand in your vagina? Are you making pearls?
March 8, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Sand in your vagina? Are you making pearls? Sorry that comment was for pantsmonkey and somehow migrated down here.
March 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm
“Sand? In my Vagina?”
It’s more likely than you think.
March 10, 2011 at 1:43 am
Woah, now that’s REAL making your own jewellery components.
March 8, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Hi, my name is fetaby and I’m an assembler. :*(
Really if there is anyone to be upset at it’s ourselves. We are lemming scum. We caused this market of readily available bits and baubles with a paint by number mentality. The bright side? Occasionally you get a velvet Elvis.
March 9, 2011 at 2:09 am
Or dogs playing poker.
March 9, 2011 at 11:05 pm
Weeping clown children.
March 9, 2011 at 5:14 am
I think you bring up some good points. It is the kind of thing I see at Ren faires, where crafters jump on a “trend bandwagon” and start producing things they think will sell because it is popular and better yet, cheap to produce. And the “cheap to produce” can be crucial because you need cheap items that you can sell alot of to make your vendor fees and payroll. I have one friend who buys for resale (by the pallet! From China!!!) those damn little clay birds that you fill with water and blow to make warbling sounds. The thing he does to make them “his” is to hand paint each and every one (dressing them in little bodices), sometimes adding little rhinestones or other decoration. They really make the difference between a good day and a great day for him. But he at least makes them his own kind of special – the above sellers are just copying each other and hoping no one will notice. Kind of makes me wish for a website that juried their entries.
March 9, 2011 at 1:14 pm
The thing that pisses me off is not so much the lack of skill but the lack of imagination and creativity.
These crysanthemums are pretty but I’ve now seen them a billion times in the past two years. So whoever is glueing them together is just trying to make money from someone else’s idea and not create something themselves. This is crafts for sheep. BAAAAAAAAAA D.
March 8, 2011 at 4:39 pm
I thought “Green Eggs and Ham” also. I’m not clever enough to rhyme it though.
I do like these. Hand made doesn’t always mean you carve the mold and forge the metal. Especially in jewelry…..however, to claim they are “OOAK” is pushing it.
March 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I think that second Barn Wood may actually be a piece of slate. Nevertheless…
March 8, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Can I nominate that damn skeleton cameo that’s everyfuckingwhere as the new chrysanthemum?
March 8, 2011 at 4:44 pm
I hadn’t seen this before and I love it.
March 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm
An Etsy search of “skeleton cameo” only brings up 1400 results, most this plastic charm.
March 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm
Daym! I’d rather have this cameo than the flower. Of course, I’m not buying any of it from etsy. Guess I’ll have to wait until it hits my local gumball machine.
March 8, 2011 at 5:04 pm
I know a woman who makes jewelery using most of these really commom charms (mini versions of the octopus, the swallows, this cameo, probably the flowers to boot). I haven’t bought any because knowing I could make them myself kind of ruins it… But, I have to admit, I really, really likr most of them. And to think, if it wasn’t for Regretsty, I could carry on pretending to be incredibly unique and, yes, HIP. DAMN YOU HELEN!
March 8, 2011 at 5:04 pm
*like!
oh preview button, I’ll try to be more faithful…
March 8, 2011 at 6:18 pm
This thing is ALL OVER Etsy. And half the time tagged as steampunk.
March 8, 2011 at 6:20 pm
JFC…it comes in purple…PURPLE!!
March 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Hey, I think I know her.
March 8, 2011 at 10:53 pm
It’s Janice Dickinson, isn’t it?
March 8, 2011 at 10:56 pm
Victoria Beckham with a weave mayhaps?
March 8, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Hot topic sells craft supplies? This is new.
March 9, 2011 at 2:16 am
I think part of the problem is the average unimaginative person out there doesn’t realize that half of the crap like this only really requires the basic use of pliers or a glue gun. If they knew that, the whole market for it would crumble.
March 9, 2011 at 6:33 am
The really sad thing about this one is that awhile ago (maybe a few years now) people were making similar things out of clay and they were beautiful and one of a kind. Now, it’s just mass produced plastic that’s still kind of cute, but has lost any one of a kind beauty.
March 8, 2011 at 4:41 pm
It’s missing a moustache and tentacles. And a monocle. Monocles are next.
March 8, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Ironicles
March 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Anything ending in -cles will do.
Manacles, testicles . . .
March 9, 2011 at 12:02 pm
As long as it’s not wearing a moustache.
March 8, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Everything should have googly eyes added to it. Including the chrysanthemum and the skeleton cameo.
March 8, 2011 at 4:50 pm
The chrysanthemum should be hot glued in the cameo’s hair, the the cameo should be glued over the head of the octopus.
WALLA!
That’s be $40 please.
March 8, 2011 at 4:51 pm
er…that is…”That’ll be $40, please”
March 8, 2011 at 7:58 pm
(I like “that’s be $40, please” better. I feel like it’s more appropriate.)
March 8, 2011 at 9:40 pm
Yeah why should correct English accompany crappy craft?
March 8, 2011 at 10:55 pm
With googly eyes on the cameo. Can’t forget the googly eyes.
March 8, 2011 at 4:46 pm
While I see the point you’re making, I would totally buy these if they were earrings.
No judgment, plz.
March 8, 2011 at 4:49 pm
though I suppose at $20 for 100 pieces, I could buy a bag and make 50 pairs of earrings. Even I can glue shit to other shit.
March 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Sure, but can you put it on barn wood? That’s what makes it art.
March 8, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Or rice? That’s my favorite.
March 9, 2011 at 6:36 am
It would be like the plastic bracelets in the 80s (that I think have already made a comeback and have left again). You could hand them out to all of your friends and have secret meanings for the colors!
March 8, 2011 at 6:06 pm
I have seen these. $5 for a pair from this sketch guy who peddles jewelry down the street from me.
March 8, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Is there a “Meeting of the Minds” of the Etsy world where they all get together and decide what to bombard Etsy with next?
If so, how does one get invited to such fuckery?
March 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm
You have to own chickens. And bring corn and keyboards.
March 8, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Do I have to grow the corn, or can it be frozen?
March 9, 2011 at 6:12 am
It needs to be at least as handmade as anything on Etsy.
March 9, 2011 at 7:01 am
Funyuns it is.
March 8, 2011 at 6:50 pm
I don’t have these chickens you speak of. I have squirrels & corn cobs. Will these items work towards such fuckery? Also, I have only a few keyboards, I can’t get those hand made, limited quantity, unique and steampunk from etsy?
March 8, 2011 at 7:39 pm
There are taxidermist suppliers who could let you work that up into world domination. Stuffed squirrels playing baseball with corn cobs – adorable.
March 8, 2011 at 4:58 pm
I once spent a summer as part of a craft collective shop. (They were the “real” crafters; I just had cool antique sewing machines to give demos on.) I remember I got an earful of what it was really like trying to do what they did, for a living..my gosh. One thing I remember was the constant vigilance they had to exercise about people taking pictures of their work at fairs. That was in 1990.
This is the web: I think what we’re seeing here with these cheap-craft fads is the same thing, copycats gone viral. Maybe someone says, “what a cute octopus! Think I’ll just order 1000 and twist me up some quick necklaces…”
Fast forward twelve minutes. Wah-lah. Octopussesses everywhere.
March 9, 2011 at 6:39 am
I still see a lot of those signs about not taking pictures. And I do understand where people are coming from. However, sometimes you want to take a picture not to copy something, but to remember how beautiful it is (or because it reminds you of someone or something) and you don’t have the money to buy it.
March 8, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I think a quick tour around the Hobby Lobbys and Michaels will do too. I was puttering around in a HL for my birthday this week and saw a whole bunch of really cute bird, dragonfly, and owl pendants in the jewelry bits section.
Then I remembered Regretsy and came to my senses.
March 9, 2011 at 12:04 pm
I used to actually like owls… sigh.
March 11, 2011 at 12:16 am
Just because I love you all…
I listed whimsicale fuckery to fuck with etsy. I just hope to God no one buys the hat because I only have one (my friend knits and she made it for me) sorry for the huge image ):
March 8, 2011 at 4:53 pm
I can see that many sellers buying the same flowers, but do they all have to put them on the same rings?
March 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm
THAT’S IT!
I’m buying some and gluing them to stuff to sell at Dragon*Con for my charity.
Thanks, HK!
March 8, 2011 at 10:11 pm
I kid you not, I’m going to make 100 of these for a huge craft show in the fall. That way, when I run out of my real stuff, I’ll have something that takes two seconds to assemble that will keep my booth from being empty.
March 9, 2011 at 2:18 am
I shall warn my friends… j/k
March 8, 2011 at 4:59 pm
god damn. even sellers on etsy are reselling these octopus charms.
March 8, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Man, am I glad I held onto my old Creepy Crawlers set!
March 8, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Whoops.
March 8, 2011 at 6:22 pm
I wish I still had mine!
March 9, 2011 at 2:55 pm
I HAD ONE OF THOSE! Except my brother mixed all my colors together so I just made brown everything. =_=+
March 8, 2011 at 7:10 pm
We had the Fun Flowers, the Fright Factory, and the Mini-Dragon one also. Dang. That would be front-page material for sure.
March 8, 2011 at 5:10 pm
…and you can even get molds (where the seller smushed THEIR charm into a hunk of Sculpy)to make your own!
March 8, 2011 at 10:28 pm
OMG that picture reminds me of monkeys in a barrel. Just open up a couple of those arms tenticles and we have a winner!
March 8, 2011 at 11:57 pm
Charms ? I see nothing charming in them. Especially in this cheap, garishly colored plastic.
March 9, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Are those crayons or the hipster equivalent to Barrel of Monkeys?
March 8, 2011 at 5:01 pm
You know what would be brilliant? A resin chrysanthemum on an antique bronze filigree adjustable ring band. I bet no one’s thought of THAT one!
March 8, 2011 at 5:02 pm
P.S. I’m brand spank-me new! Be gentle…
March 8, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Springtime for April and Regretsy
Winterime for resellers from Hong Kong
March 8, 2011 at 5:03 pm
BARNWOOD! It’s starting to take on it’s own meaning. Like, barnwood, noun, an embarrassing craft-boner for resale shit, or something like that. I’m not very good at making up snied word fake definitions. But I’m always thinking of them anyway.
March 8, 2011 at 6:33 pm
My brother and I used to call cheap crap at the flea markets “cellophane,” because that’s what it was always wrapped in.
March 8, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Barnwood: [bɑrnˌwʊd] n.
1. Aged and weathered boards, especially those salvaged from dismantled barns and used by hipsters to display whatever crap they have lying around as crafts. I needed something to photograph this unique collection of octopus and chrysanthemums on, so I put them on some barnwood and I was able to sell it for $60 on Etsy
2. Chintzy crap hipsters sell on Etsy, passing it off as unique craft. That “collection” of “unique octopi” and “vintage chrysanthemums” is totally barnwood. I can’t believe the seller wants $60 for it.
March 8, 2011 at 7:48 pm
(oops, definition 2 should say that it’s an adjective. derp)
March 8, 2011 at 5:04 pm
And Then use it in a sentence. I’m hiding my barnwood under this barnwood.
March 8, 2011 at 7:23 pm
I am developing some serious barnwood for the octodahlia shown on Etsy on barn wood.
March 8, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Aaaand … I still want one
March 8, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Whoops.
March 8, 2011 at 5:29 pm
these things sell like crazy, but I could never get myself to buy one, so I bought the supplies. The adjustable ring parts are so flimsy I ended up making earrings and just throwing away the ring parts…though it’s all ubiquitous on etsy and has been for years now. They were very easy to make either way and I guess if I felt like joining in the race to the lowest price I’d sell them too!
March 9, 2011 at 6:43 am
Spoon rings are cheap, adjustable, and usually solid. I’d rather see them on those then the cheap ones above. Try those, it might work. The glue wouldn’t rake into your fingers that way either
March 8, 2011 at 5:52 pm
I am so thankful for Regretsy to say the things I am not allowed to say in Forums. Like basically this entire post, thank you, Helen. I’ve been holding in a lot of pent up irritation against these stupid cheap, mass-produced charms for a while now.
March 8, 2011 at 6:00 pm
OMG, I bought these as earrings about three years ago and wear them often in the Spring. I was being ironic and didn’t even know it.
March 8, 2011 at 7:50 pm
…yes, but was it FUN.
March 8, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I don’t really give a crap if it’s unique or took effort to make, they’re pretty so I’m buying one XD
March 8, 2011 at 6:52 pm
It just pisses me off that they could make a living off of this and I can’t…they all make the same god damn crap in “limited quantities”
FOR GOD SAKES BE ORIGINAL.
March 9, 2011 at 4:08 am
The frustrating thing is that the pieces I really get into, spend time on, really get creative with…no one buys. The crap glued to other crap…people buy. I’m not above giving the market what it wants…even if it means compromising myself as an artist.
March 9, 2011 at 6:42 am
You can’t make a living at that. No one can. But I agree with you on the “original” part!
March 8, 2011 at 6:53 pm
it is time for regretsy math!
March 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm
“So fun and colourful!”
“Fun and comfortable wear”
“For a fun and sunny design”
Goodness, with the repetitive amount of the word ‘fun’ in the descriptions, I better be feeling some downright ecstasy and achieve enlightenment if I wear all those rings at once.
March 9, 2011 at 7:05 am
This does require figuring out how big those rings will stretch to work out if you can manage 10 at once or 11.
Ifyaknowuddamean.
March 8, 2011 at 7:17 pm
I’ve been following Regretsy for over a year waiting for this exact post. These vintage, unique, steampunk cabochons have been marking all over Etsy like a bad puppy for way too long.
March 8, 2011 at 7:26 pm
By the way, has anyone seen this? As seen on AMERICAN IDOL!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64576401/3-octopus-key-necklace-on-american-idol?ref=sr_gallery_36&ga_search_query=octopus+steampunk&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=
March 8, 2011 at 7:31 pm
oh shit, it has almost 2000 views. looks like Regretsy folks have already left their mark..
March 8, 2011 at 7:54 pm
…that must be an awfully …unique feeling.
The ecstatic/fools-paradise moment almost (but not quite) trampled by the dawning-horror moment.
The Ohnomoment.
March 9, 2011 at 2:21 am
That makes my back hurt just looking at it. I think it needs a few more weighty brass items on it.
March 9, 2011 at 4:27 am
So glad I still have my vintage eBay account…
http://compare.ebay.com/like/370489321748?var=lv&var=sbar
March 8, 2011 at 7:34 pm
I love you guys! This stuff makes me so embarrassed to be even selling on Etsy.
March 9, 2011 at 11:59 am
I agree, the more time I spend here the less I fancy listing things on Etsy that have actually taken me over 10 minutes and 10 cents to make.
March 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm
My grampa beat EVERYBODY on this one, and he even managed to bling it up a notch. In the 30′s, my gramps would go ‘fishing’ every Sunday-he’d come home with some fish and maybe a slight moonshine buzz. One time he came home absolutely shitfaced and told my long-suffering gramma that he “didn’t catch any fish, but here are some purty little earbobs for you.” They were coral-colored plastic mums just like these, glued to FISH HOOKS with red, yellow, and black feathers tied on as flies. Granny was pissed, and I guess Grampa had to sleep in the summer kitchen for awhile. Ugly yet oh so avant garde, you know?
March 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm
Ooh a flower glued to a starfish.
Not gonna lie that reminds me of some weird shit I saw on QVC once. It was pretty much professionally-made whimsicle fuckery. With real gemstones and precious metals.
March 9, 2011 at 11:30 am
I think you are talking about Kirk’s Folly, that would be this professionally made Whimsical Fuckery:
http://www.kirksfolly.com/
March 9, 2011 at 11:57 am
http://retail.kirksfollystore.com/products/Squiggy_Octopus_Pin-103819-23.html
March 8, 2011 at 8:17 pm
#22 Trends are trends because losers with zero talent or skill know it’s easy to get stupid people to buy garbage.
March 8, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Marketing is a talent…
March 8, 2011 at 8:27 pm
The purple one is spelled cabochin sort of like a capuchin monkey. I imagine the monkey with a tuxedo jacket with a durable yet delicate purple flower in its lapel.
Of course the actual dictionary definition of cabochon doesn’t fit any of these but who’s keeping score?
March 8, 2011 at 10:26 pm
…are those the ones that fling poop?
March 8, 2011 at 10:58 pm
Don’t they all?
March 8, 2011 at 8:52 pm
I’m surprised no one has shown it being used as a cock ring or incorporated into a butt plug yet. The etsy folks are letting me down on this.
March 8, 2011 at 9:34 pm
E6000 can cause brain damage if exposed to it for extended periods of time. CRAP CRAFT KILLS!
March 8, 2011 at 10:47 pm
god damn it. i made some jewelry with these things for myself. thanks, Etsy, for bastardizing everything. or maybe i’m just super unoriginal. *FART* either way. hmmph.
March 8, 2011 at 10:54 pm
Did you hot glue them to chintzy pot-metal adjustable rings? No? Then you’re fine. I do actually like these, used in the right context, and not over-priced.
March 9, 2011 at 12:26 am
Ha! I bought a bunch of these to use as free thank you gifts for my customers. Recently I’ve just started throwing a small handful into the package with a handwritten thank you note. To think, I could be making $13 off of each one! DAMN IT!
March 9, 2011 at 3:53 am
Cover it in glitter and get back to me.
March 9, 2011 at 6:24 am
I’m doing as the seller instructs, and imaginging the purple on in the “court of Queens.”
Unfortunately, I’m picturing it on someone who’s in court, in Queens, for a speeding ticket. She’s wearing her best dress, her octopus necklace, and two chrysanthemum rings. And none of it sets off the metal detector.
March 9, 2011 at 6:48 am
I’ve tried picturing it at the upcoming royal wedding. I can picture someone wearing it there, the queen looking at as if to admire it, and then pointing the way out (in a style similar to the evil monkey on Family Guy). It’s really made my morning complete.
March 9, 2011 at 6:36 am
Is “crap on barnwood” the new “shit on a shingle”?
March 9, 2011 at 7:02 am
Just saw this video. Maybe everyone who made these rings, got the rings for free and two deranged lunatics stopped by and told them to put a chrysanthemum on it? http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2011/03/put-bird-on-it.html
March 9, 2011 at 7:42 am
If you liked it then you should’ve put a bird on it
If you liked it then you should’ve put a bird on it
Don’t be mad when you see a mum on it
‘Cause if you liked it then you should’ve put a bird on it
Oh, oh, oh…..
March 9, 2011 at 7:55 am
Maybe the “limited edition” ones really are unique. Maybe the sellers can’t even glue the chrysanthemum onto the ring properly, and so the end result is uniquely shittier than the others.
Or something. Sorry, that’s the best I’ve got going on three hours of sleep and no coffee. Excuse me while I give myself a thumbs down :p
March 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
Finally you have uncovered the other sickeningly dirty underbelly of Etsy. The freaking cabachon jewelry. I will admitt, some of it is cute, but EVERYONE IS SELLING THEM! And these vendors do well, some even have “quit their day jobs” selling these. Am I jealous and bitter? Yes. Should I start selling this crap? Maybe. At least then I might make it on their front page, or as a featured seller. Me thinks the chicken has a chrysanthemum fetish.
March 9, 2011 at 11:56 am
I’ve been soo looking forward to seeing those awful plastic flower rings on Regretsy. You’ve made my day. Thank you.
March 9, 2011 at 2:41 pm
The captions on the photos are bring out my inner Seuss…uh-oh, here it comes…
I DO NOT LIKE THIS FLOWER RING.
I THINK IT’S LAME, GENERIC BLING!
I DO NOT LIKE IT ON A DISH
OR ON THE CARCASS OF A FISH
I DO NOT LIKE IT ON SOME RICE
NOR ON A PLANT (AT ANY PRICE!)
I DO NOT LIKE IT NEW OR VINTAGE
CORAL, DARK RED, BLUE, OR MINTAGE!
I DO NOT LIKE THIS FLOWER RING
I THINK IT’S LAME, GENERIC BLING!
*Phew*…it’s so awkward when that happens…I think I’m done for now!
March 9, 2011 at 3:09 pm
The Etsy forum cupcakes would have me hunted down and shot for voicing this in their realm, particularly since I sell snooty, pricier jewelry there, but I hate this whole 3-seconds to make hand assembled shit. It’s the reason the majority of the jewelry on Etsy is starting to look the same, drowning out “real” jewelers, and I think the Asian manufacturers are making their nearly 100% pre-made, pre-finished products just for Etsy “designers.” You can buy the “supplies” there – a totally finished pendant, hang it on a commercial chain, and sell it as hand made *ahem*, excuse me, “hand assembled.” If you can assemble it with your feet, it shouldn’t count!! The majority of buyers don’t know or don’t care that that’s ALL you did in your amazing creativitytness.
March 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Totally agree. I’ve seen Ebay Hong Kong pendants resold as is on Etsy, by very respectable forum cupcakes. I’ve also seen empty paint cans being sold as “vintage”… All those… moments… will be lost in time, like tears in the rain… Time to die, methinks.
March 9, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Uh huh. Kill me now.
March 9, 2011 at 4:29 pm
On the other hand, I can’t seem to find anything about Etsy’s policy on mass-murdering Chinese resellers and whimsicle cabochon gluers… could we use that legal vacuum for our own means? LOL indeed!
March 9, 2011 at 4:39 pm
(LOL in a wicked, psycopathic kind of way, of course. Better go and take my medication now).
March 15, 2011 at 8:05 am
found another one for ya, and its also a derp!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/69648785/orange-dahlia-flower-antique-bornze
March 15, 2011 at 2:25 pm
Bad poetry! It’s Algernon Charles Swinburne!
March 16, 2011 at 4:27 am
They love these damn flowers here, too:
http://madeit.com.au/storecatalog.asp?userid=18847
March 29, 2011 at 6:27 am
Wow!! Some people are amazing. This is just like a town I live near. Nashville, Indiana used to be full of shops where everything was homemade. But now it’s full of junk from China and they wonder why the tourists don’t come anymore.
April 21, 2011 at 7:13 am
It’s time for someone to make a beard out of either feathers or chrysanthemums. While octopi are plentiful, they aren’t too beard-like.