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Once again, you called it.

I can’t believe someone is actually making these things. It’s indefensible. There is no purpose for this except to be a pain in the ass. I mean come on, she’s wearing these with wrist warmers for God’s sake. Hand covers and finger covers are basically gloves. This is gloves. You are wearing gloves, only in pieces. Because you’re high.

Just tell me what the point is. That’s all I want. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Tell me why these areas need ventilating. Are you in danger of your hand exploding from the intense heat generated by your nail beds? Do people often remark that they would be more comfortable if their fingertips and metacarpal ligaments were exposed? Or do full gloves just make it too hard to play “This is the church and this is the steeple?”

I mean Jesus, how much area are we talking about? I’m entirely too stupid to do the math, but if I could, it would look something like this:

Hey, you know what would look great with three quarters of a glove?

Yes, celebrate gay marriage with genitalia, because that’s all gay people care about. That’s it. Way to stereotype people. Forget equality and commitment, gay women are only interested in vaginas.

Well, and golf. And German Shepherds.

And hiking.