Throbbing, Engorged Update
Oh what a weekend we had here at Regretsy headquarters!*
* My couch
First, we redesigned the site and made it easier to use. Not that it was terribly taxing before, but I know how drunk you are and I don’t want to make it any harder than it has to be.
Secondly, we improved the commenting feature. Now you can post images in the comments, including gifs and blingees and sparkly things, which I know you love. Isn’t that exciting? It’s like MySpace, only with more people.
We also added a preview feature, so you can take a good hard look at what you’re going to post, instead of just throwing it up there and realizing you did the “teh” thing again. And comments are nested now, so everyone will know exactly who you’re cursing at. No more, “@ #49, fuck you!” stuff. Of course the nesting only goes so deep, so if it really gets heated, you might want to take it to Huffpo.
And finally…
We won a Bloggie last night!
I have to admit, I don’t know much about web awards. I don’t know much about anything, really, but that should be fairly obvious by now. So I was both surprised and delighted when people started texting me last night, acting like this was some kind of a thing!
So there you go! Our first big-ass award. I don’t think there’s any cash involved, but at least I didn’t have to go anywhere.
My sincere thanks to everyone who voted, and I promise to continue to be the best darn art, design and or craft web blog until some other one is.
And now, back to the fuckery.
February 28, 2011 at 10:11 am
@ #49 Fuck you anyway. New comment styles don’t erase what a dick you are.
February 28, 2011 at 10:40 am
Now I kind of want to keep posting comments until I get to number 49.
February 28, 2011 at 10:48 am
let’s do this
February 28, 2011 at 11:29 pm
Don’t tell me we’ve stalled at three? I’ve still got cocktail in my glass…
February 28, 2011 at 5:35 pm
NAMASTE BITCHES!!!!
February 28, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Time to release my new Action Movie:
I Am Number Forty-Nine
February 28, 2011 at 10:13 am
congratsy.
February 28, 2011 at 11:35 am
And regretulations, bitches. That’s a big deal.
February 28, 2011 at 9:17 pm
March 1, 2011 at 5:11 am
i’m sorry i accidentally gave you a thumbs down when i meant a thumbs up. thats pretty cute!
February 28, 2011 at 10:17 am
I’ve always hated @ #49. He needs some twat cream after his bajingo wash.
February 28, 2011 at 10:19 am
I hope you wore a fabulous gown to the ceremony, Helen.
Perhaps a stapled on bedsheet with seven tentacles hot-glued to the hem, and a polymer clay sporran shaped like a vulva?
February 28, 2011 at 10:29 am
I so want to *view this in a room*… sigh…
February 28, 2011 at 11:05 am
I hope she wore this.
http://www.regretsy.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/dogcaftan.jpg
February 28, 2011 at 11:17 am
I see HK wearing something like this exept made out of octopusses.
(Lizzy Garner Oscars -95)
February 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Sorry, I’m old and clueless, but, who are these people? Am I supposed to know?
February 28, 2011 at 4:17 pm
That was from the Academy awards some years ago, and the dress was made out of American Express cards or some such. You could look it up.
February 28, 2011 at 4:26 pm
It was Priscilla Queen of the Desert in 1994S! Seems like only yesterday. Here’s a blurb from IMDB: No matter what she ever creates as a costume designer, she will forever be remembered for one of the most unique dresses ever seen at the Academy Awards. Receiving an Oscar for Best Costume Design, Gardener accepted the award wearing an outfit made entirely of American Express Gold Cards, all in her name and, she averred, all expired.
February 28, 2011 at 11:33 pm
My main memory of “Priscilla” was being deeply envious of Hugo Weaving because he had fantastic legs. I’d love to have legs that good. Then again, he’s a foot taller than I am.
Made it a little weird watching “Fellowship of the Rings,” though.
February 28, 2011 at 10:19 am
Fuckin’ Bloggies! I got snubbed again.
February 28, 2011 at 12:00 pm
You need to have a blog first!
February 28, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Pfft. Details!
February 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm
I do.
(Oh shit, I think we just got married.)
February 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm
holyshitinahandbag, Hardwyre. Do you not know your name is a link to your blog. Fucking click that bastard and you will be transported to some dude’s weird self portriate cartoons or something. I’m actually not really sure what the hell it is. [ALSO A FORM OF shameless self advertising. like what I'm doing here. now.]
February 28, 2011 at 6:50 pm
Thanks…. I think?
(I’m actually not really sure what the hell it is either.)
February 28, 2011 at 10:19 am
What #2 said. And #1.
In celebration I’m queuing up MST3k’s 12 to the Moon. Have another shot of tequila and some donkey porn, with love from Michigan!
February 28, 2011 at 10:20 am
Also: ooooo, purty!
March 1, 2011 at 5:15 am
HEY any reference to MST3K is pretty awesome
February 28, 2011 at 10:35 am
Holyshit the glory of the “W” icon for whimsicle fuckery is too much for my mortal eyes. So I’m getting it tattooed on my ass along with my black Jesus, crying eagle, and other art to precious for me to actually see without backing up to a mirror and doing my nude bony white woman rendition of the Sir-Mix-A-Lot dance.
February 28, 2011 at 10:36 am
Do the webbies have a red carpet? I’d love to see the etsy-made “beautiful” gown all the nominees and presenters wore. Or at least what our favorite winner, H.K., wore. I smell a photoshop contest!
February 28, 2011 at 12:26 pm
It would be cool if the trophy for the Webbies would be a duck…huh?!
February 28, 2011 at 6:28 pm
Or one of the children from “Through Their Hands, They Shall Learn”
February 28, 2011 at 10:40 am
Oh! Em! Gee!
Congratulations on receiving some (more) well deserved recognition.
In other news: Ever since the douche post I can make my housemate pee herself laughing just by mentioning “Hillbilly Bajingo Wash” or mentioning the “Vegan Vulva Cake”. Keep the laughs coming, Helen and The Regretsians! No, really, please keep them coming. It helps keep me from getting all stabby.
February 28, 2011 at 11:33 pm
I admit, I had to submit several people to the vegan vulva cake as well. My friends and I are firm believers in the theory that the only way you can get rid of awful visuals that get stuck in your head is to share them. I feel much better now.
February 28, 2011 at 10:43 am
Congratulations!
I love the icons for the tags. I kinda wish that the header used the symbols instead of the words, so we’d have to either learn them or keep reading the key, like this was the Michelin Guide to Whimsicle Fuckery.
February 28, 2011 at 10:50 am
YES. Regretsy hieroglyphics. Because creating a new vocabulary isn’t enough. We want our own fucking language.
February 28, 2011 at 1:28 pm
Ka’plah! to that
February 28, 2011 at 10:48 am
Don’t know much about awards? So stay with that:
Awards are like hemorrhoids. Sooner or later every asshole gets one.
– Sarah Morton
February 28, 2011 at 10:50 am
I especially like the new category icons. Very fancy. Now I won’t have to bother reading the words to find a certain type of post.
Thanks!
February 28, 2011 at 10:59 am
Congrats on your thing! I always knew you were the best (insert award category here) around.
/standard congrats answer
February 28, 2011 at 11:15 am
Congrats on your Thingy…Hope you hang it next to the moustached claymation of Tyne Daly!
February 28, 2011 at 11:23 am
#49, this one’s for you.
February 28, 2011 at 11:42 am
Congratulations HK! Please keep up the good work. We all appreciate it more than you know.
February 28, 2011 at 11:50 am
We totally do! Thanks HK!
February 28, 2011 at 11:43 am
I love that a craft trashing site won a craft blog award. Are the rest of them really that terrible?
February 28, 2011 at 3:16 pm
^^Yes. Helen and Bronc make running a well-designed blog look easy, but it ain’t, as evidenced by all the really really REALLY crappy/unreadable ones out there.
Also, “I don’t think there’s any cash involved, but at least I didn’t have to go anywhere. “ Amen, sister.
February 28, 2011 at 11:50 am
Congrats HK!
February 28, 2011 at 11:56 am
I’d be happy to designate myself as #49 today, for all of your abuse needs, in honor of Regretsy winning a Bloggie. Congratulations. Fuck me.
February 28, 2011 at 12:39 pm
Thumbs down with
February 28, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Ah, and thumbs up your butt.
With love!
February 28, 2011 at 11:56 am
I’m never engorged when I really wish to be.
February 28, 2011 at 11:59 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2011 at 4:19 pm
YOU LOSE FLOUNCE FLOUNCE
February 28, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Actually, you do win cash! I believe you win $20.11 – and if you win next year, you’ll get $20.12. That hillbilly bajingo wash sure brought in the big money!
February 28, 2011 at 12:35 pm
Hell yeah. Nothin’ like being recognized for bringing the fuckery and lols to us.
February 28, 2011 at 6:04 pm
yah i know today the internet tomorrow the world
February 28, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Where the hell is #49? Fucktard is hiding from us.
February 28, 2011 at 12:54 pm
This would be more fun if I wasn’t too lazy to try remember the html for inserting blingy heinous fuckery.
February 28, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I just cheat and look it up on some cheesy heinous fuckery bling site:
February 28, 2011 at 10:15 pm
Nice choice. Obnoxious sentiment and glitter. Fuckery achieved.
February 28, 2011 at 1:16 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2011 at 1:18 pm
What are you smoking? Can i have some?
February 28, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 28, 2011 at 2:42 pm
@49 – nah, I’ll be a gentleman…
February 28, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Krikey! I bet there is not a PSA on the dangers of swimming with Sting Ray’s (there should be…)
February 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om9qq2d4DRk&feature=related
It is Irish apparently, not Australian.
February 28, 2011 at 5:07 pm
OMG!
February 28, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I just read about that one on TV Tropes. I think it was in the High Octane Nightmare Fuel section.
February 28, 2011 at 8:52 pm
Well then my joke doesn’t work (grumble grumble)
February 28, 2011 at 11:37 pm
A personal favorite of mine that I saw on Animal Planet, was the guy that deep-throated a marlin while on a deep sea fishing trip.
February 28, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Killer, can we hear your acceptance speech?
I promise I won’t navigate away from the page when you get up on stage, like I do with channel changing during the Oscars. (I just finished drinking my lunch, so I can’t maneuver the mouse properly anyway.)
March 1, 2011 at 2:50 am
I love a good liquid lunch.
February 28, 2011 at 1:41 pm
I’m here, don’t think I don’t see the shit you assholes are saying about me! you got beef?? bring it!
February 28, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Congrats and regrets all around! I’m sure this award’ll bring your tally of acolytes to double that of MySpace in no time (that is, if it isn’t already).
February 28, 2011 at 2:19 pm
OK, this is comment #48.
It’s like There’s a Monster at the End of This Book. what will we find?
February 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm
“So there you go! Our first big-ass award. I don’t think there’s any cash involved, but at least I didn’t have to go anywhere. ”
Or write an acceptance speech or fumble your way though an impromptu speech at the podium to the embarrassment of all on the planet.
February 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Oh man i’m going to have to find the most disgusting gif imaginable…better look at my old myspace account
February 28, 2011 at 2:50 pm
It’s really too bad that the Etsy forums are clamped down, I’m sure there’s more than one sour grape over Regretsy winning a Bloggie award.
Will you wear that lovely dog print caftan to the show? With or without a moustache on a stick?
February 28, 2011 at 4:27 pm
And Killer’s signature Thong facinator
February 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm
Okay, haven’t begun drinking yet and wondered how I missed Killer wearing underpants on her head. D’oh! Carry on…
February 28, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Congratulations! I feel that this is a win for all of us, even though I have actually contributed nothing. I’m still taking credit.
February 28, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Regretsy deserves the award! Congrats
February 28, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Congrats! I have no idea what that is but it sounds super
I really like the new blog additions
February 28, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I feel 63 comments don’t get you as far as they used to.
And I really wanted to know what #49 did, too; I’m sure it was hilariously offensive.
February 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Namaste Bitches!!
February 28, 2011 at 6:03 pm
wow all of this is awesome thanks for the updates i love we have a section just for cats
February 28, 2011 at 6:29 pm
This has got to be my new favorite phrase:
February 28, 2011 at 7:40 pm
And congrats on the Bloggie.
February 28, 2011 at 9:25 pm
Well, this explains why my polymer clay crumbled when I tried to kneed it.
Gratsomundo HK and Couch!
February 28, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Long time lurker, first time drunk.
How the hell do you put a picture on your profile? I’m cold and scared and there are wolves after me.
February 28, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Check the FAQ, homes
February 28, 2011 at 9:49 pm
But that’s logical and requires my brain…
(Hiding feelings of abject stupidity and humiliation behind six octopi charms, carry on.)
March 1, 2011 at 3:14 am
You took the very essence of what I wanted to express and formed it into words.
Thank you.
p.s. Hope the wolves get bored.
February 28, 2011 at 10:16 pm
I had to.
Sorry.
March 1, 2011 at 3:04 am
Well done! I wish I could shower you with fancy sparkling bullshit, but I am far too drunk and untalented for that crap.
March 1, 2011 at 3:27 am
Come on, people, we’re almost to 49!
March 1, 2011 at 3:32 am
i love the new site! <3 and congrats on the Bloggie!
March 1, 2011 at 4:35 am
Shit. I’m only #48
March 1, 2011 at 9:26 am
Actually, the number next to you tells me you’re #49. Which, at this point, I guess I should tell you to go fuck yourself.
March 3, 2011 at 3:28 am
I swear, as I wrote that, there was #47 above me lol. YESSSSSSS I’M #49!!!!!!!!!
March 1, 2011 at 9:29 am
Exactly, I logged in to say the same as miss_lizzah… Nice attempt, gipperakh, nice attempt…
March 1, 2011 at 9:57 am
49. Now officially the most important number on Regretsy.
March 1, 2011 at 11:44 am
March 1, 2011 at 4:46 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 3, 2011 at 3:31 am
NOPE! I am!!!
March 1, 2011 at 4:46 am
Well this is awkward …
March 1, 2011 at 7:12 am
Dear person I have never met nor interacted with: I HATE YOU!!!!!! You are wrong about that hooker, your opinions smell like toilet scorpions, and as a native of Tajcrapistan myself I retch to think of you representing our fine country to the world.
March 1, 2011 at 7:46 pm
…and you don’t like her because she’s a shaved/nonshaved pussy-hater. Don’t forget the vag-hating (not to be confused with my children’s veg hating.)
March 1, 2011 at 7:59 am
The numbers are hard to see under the icons – I told the person who made the 49th comment (including replies) to… well, actually I didn’t, but he tried to get me to watch an Irish drunk driving video, so I probably should have.
March 1, 2011 at 10:59 am
OK, the numbers change… that’s not good.
What happens if we say “@ #49 – Fuck you!” then #49 changes so it’s a woman talking about her work among the Maori people and her VBAC?
March 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Well this IS awkward. All that time hitting F5 for nothing, and now nobody will think I’m a jerk.
March 1, 2011 at 9:12 am
I can no longer see the numbers at all. I don’t know if that’s because I’m using a different browser, or there was something stronger than tea in my thermos this morning.
March 1, 2011 at 5:04 am
Congratulations on the award! May the tentacles be with you always.
March 1, 2011 at 5:14 am
http://img-s3-01.mytextgraphics.com/glittertextgraphics/2011/03/01/22d9b2bc5f6a3b8f7ad844463d8bd018.gif
March 1, 2011 at 5:56 am
Congratulations on the award! You should feel good that whimsical fuckery is appreciated on such a grand scale and that you were the one who introducted it to the internetz!
March 1, 2011 at 6:39 am
Congrats!
If I were you, I’d have a drink to celebrate!
March 1, 2011 at 7:47 pm
Congratulations! I voted for you (god, I hope that I did…I like to have the winners on my side.)
Now go and drink yourself stupid.
March 1, 2011 at 10:14 pm
WINNER! (…but enough about Charlie Sheen)
March 7, 2011 at 10:29 am
December 4, 2011 at 8:20 pm
(testing posting an image)