Someone tell me WHY I’m sitting here busting my ass matching up colour tones and trying to make unique jewelry when shit like this goes for $60? Hell I can go to Michael’s and buy those damn octos for way the hell less than that.
I had a little look yesterday at all of the steampunk octopus necklaces on Etsy. Even though she tags the crap out of it and sells owls and stuff, I still think this one is grand, maybe even, dare I say, unique:
Why so many octopi? When and why did the humble octopus become so “popular”? Which divine entity made the proclamation that THOU SHALT GO FORTH AND MAKE AND SELL IDENTICAL CRAPPY OCTOPUS PENDANTS?
I can’t wait until Urban starts carrying The Octopus (or are they already?) Then we can say that we liked them before they were cool. And that now we just wear them because they’re ironic.
Thanks to all of you, I know that can’t be Cthulu, because Cthulu has wings.
And Buzzkill, I also want to see the chain mail out of Barrels o’ Monkeys. I bought a Barrel o’ Monkeys at a garage sale for a quarter as a kid, and spent a ridiculous amount of time playing with them.
Say what you want about the damn Cthulu Octopi thingy – I really like the robot cufflinks that this seller has for sale. And they even look like they could be “steampunk”. Just sayin’
WOW@Princess… Good GOD people, it’s the coming of the Alibaba Octopi mother ship (as predicted by the Ancient Church of the Venerable Brass Octopi)! Run for your liiiivvveeees
See, here’s an all too rare example of a seller taking a common component and making something that’s actually graceful and attractive out of it. Creativity? Do I see you, peeking timidly out of the shadows?
Here we see Polypus Orichalcum, the exceedingly strange and shy Brass Octopi, in their semiannual ritual mating circle. Few scientists have ever observed p. orichalcum up close during mating and this is indeed a special treat. Notice how the males link tentacles with each other to form a common bond with the solitary female. When they attain maximum linkage, there will be a single, joyous explosion of fuckery that will ensure the future of the species for the next two years. Let’s watch.
There were rings, earrings, bracelets, belts, etc. Some sellers had taken the time to make something that actually looked cool…like the belt buckle & business card holder above. The main culprit spewing forth the shit is a seller called coldtentacle with 221 pages of glorious steaming shit in her store.
I feel like this is slam poetry. I have an almost overwhelming need to respond
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by crafting, polymer clay naked,
dragging themselves through the Etsy pages at dawn looking for a steampunk octopus,
Angel-headed hipsters hot-gluing watch parts
to the dregs of the Hobby Lobby sale bins,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up knitting in the supernatural darkness of
their smoke free, pet free craft-rooms
contemplating vulvae,
who bared their brains to Etsy under the influence of Hillbilly bajingo wash and clothespin ribbon,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating talent and Etsy-shop tragedy
among the scholars of art,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy &
upcycling obscene objects on the windows of the internet,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in used underwear,
@#68 knittin-kitten, don’t invoke what you can’t dispell…I have mad crocheting skillz and you are seriously tempting me. Now where did I leave my steel crochet hooks and neo-Victorian steampunk sketch pad…?
It’s about time someone recognized the Victorians and their massive contributions to sushi. May this jewelry withstand the test of time and be uncovered in thousands of years as a reminder of the taste level of its wearer.
WTF? How is it that someone actually BOUGHT this?!?! And for more than $0.50? I want to cry.
I actually take the time and thought to make my jewelry and (like one other said, I use a friggin color wheel!) and this crap sells?
Who would wear this? Yuk. Ew. Gross. There is nothing sexy about an octopus. Unless you’re Octomom, maybe? I’ll bet ya she bought it, with her welfare check…..
February 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Looks like an octopus swingers party.
February 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm
May they come to life and sucker the wearer to death.
February 24, 2011 at 5:17 pm
now if only there were eight of them, with the cat’s head – it would truly be octopussy!
February 24, 2011 at 5:18 pm
I think it tipped over into awesome and now I kind of want it.
February 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm
they’re everywhere!!!
February 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm
This would be funny if the seller could remotely control hidden ink pouches.
February 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm
You know what this needs? Watch parts.
February 24, 2011 at 5:20 pm
(also, I thought octopuses were supposed to have 8 legs?)
February 24, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Needs. More. Octopuses.
February 24, 2011 at 5:21 pm
#7 seanalyn – and a vulva.
February 24, 2011 at 5:21 pm
This is exactly what I’d want in a sushi necklace!
February 24, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Why do so many of these listings have sushi in the title? Need a new category, “This Is Not Sushi”
February 24, 2011 at 5:28 pm
mmmmm… neo-victorian nouveau steampunk cthulhu octopus sushi…
February 24, 2011 at 5:28 pm
what’s “sushi Gold”? Is that a collection of hit songs played in Japanese restaurants?
February 24, 2011 at 5:29 pm
I would get this if it were nouveau Victorian neo-steampunk.
February 24, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Someone tell me WHY I’m sitting here busting my ass matching up colour tones and trying to make unique jewelry when shit like this goes for $60? Hell I can go to Michael’s and buy those damn octos for way the hell less than that.
February 24, 2011 at 5:32 pm
More uniqueness than this bowl of bran cereal! Able to leap unique buildings with a single bound!
Needs a cowbell.
February 24, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Steampunk Nouveau might have to be my next child’s name
February 24, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I won’t be impressed until it’s OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND.
February 26, 2011 at 4:28 pm
WHAT 9000 !?!?!?!?!?!?
February 24, 2011 at 5:37 pm
OK, I’m raiding Hobby Lobby and making a “chain mail” dress out of these things. Or maybe I’ll just do it with a few Barrels O’ Monkeys.
February 24, 2011 at 5:38 pm
I had a little look yesterday at all of the steampunk octopus necklaces on Etsy. Even though she tags the crap out of it and sells owls and stuff, I still think this one is grand, maybe even, dare I say, unique:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67397263/steampunk-necklace-octopus-girl-gothic
February 24, 2011 at 5:40 pm
This is not a necklace. It is a steampunk octopus merkin.
February 24, 2011 at 5:41 pm
#20 Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle :
OK, I’m raiding Hobby Lobby and making a “chain mail” dress out of these things. Or maybe I’ll just do it with a few Barrels O’ Monkeys.
If you make an entire dress out of barrel of monkey monkeys I WILL TRADE YOU MY FIRST BORN FOR IT.
Seriously.
February 24, 2011 at 5:41 pm
Mmm… tentaclicious.
I really want some calamari, now.
February 24, 2011 at 5:42 pm
#21 and at least in the description she refers to it as a squid (6 legs)
could someone PLEASE tell me what the appeal is to warrant so many necklaces?
February 24, 2011 at 5:42 pm
This IS unique. Holy shit! Are they octopuses?
February 24, 2011 at 5:44 pm
I won’t be satisfied until somebody makes a bra out of these things. Or a thong.
February 24, 2011 at 5:49 pm
Why so many octopi? When and why did the humble octopus become so “popular”? Which divine entity made the proclamation that THOU SHALT GO FORTH AND MAKE AND SELL IDENTICAL CRAPPY OCTOPUS PENDANTS?
February 24, 2011 at 5:53 pm
shit just got REAL
February 24, 2011 at 5:54 pm
#21 whimsiclesthenics : I couldn’t help myself.
http://s815.photobucket.com/albums/zz74/voxwoman/Buzzkill%20Crying%20Glitter%20Eagle/?action=view¤t=ganeshwrong.jpg
February 24, 2011 at 5:56 pm
I can’t wait until Urban starts carrying The Octopus (or are they already?) Then we can say that we liked them before they were cool. And that now we just wear them because they’re ironic.
February 24, 2011 at 5:59 pm
If I weren’t so sick of seeing this damned octopus everywhere, I’d think this was pretty. Not $60 pretty, but pretty.
February 24, 2011 at 6:02 pm
Princess Buzzkill, such awesomeness requires that I offer to bear your internet babies.
And we’ll name the first one Ganesh, no matter what sex it is.
February 24, 2011 at 6:03 pm
#22 Dharmasatya – convo me.
February 24, 2011 at 6:05 pm
i think this is in response to the death of the octopi that predicted the world cup
February 24, 2011 at 6:14 pm
I’m gonna start wearing shrimp around my neck until that catches on.
February 24, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Thanks to all of you, I know that can’t be Cthulu, because Cthulu has wings.
And Buzzkill, I also want to see the chain mail out of Barrels o’ Monkeys. I bought a Barrel o’ Monkeys at a garage sale for a quarter as a kid, and spent a ridiculous amount of time playing with them.
February 24, 2011 at 6:16 pm
DisfunctioningUnit…..That’s it! A new name for a band….Ironic Octopus!
February 24, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Say what you want about the damn Cthulu Octopi thingy – I really like the robot cufflinks that this seller has for sale. And they even look like they could be “steampunk”. Just sayin’
February 24, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Now they’re just trying to beat a dead horseless carriage with 5 octopuses.
February 24, 2011 at 6:28 pm
I found the mother lode of these things:
http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/359074445/Vintage_Octopus_Retro_Bronze_Metal_Pendant.html
February 24, 2011 at 6:45 pm
WOW@Princess… Good GOD people, it’s the coming of the Alibaba Octopi mother ship (as predicted by the Ancient Church of the Venerable Brass Octopi)! Run for your liiiivvveeees
February 24, 2011 at 6:52 pm
When they figure out how to turn it into a buttplug, it will be worthy of both the Original AND Steampunk labels.
Because I think the world needs more original steampunk buttplugs.
February 24, 2011 at 7:05 pm
I want to bulk-buy these and make shower curtains.
Make millions.
February 24, 2011 at 7:10 pm
@katfud #43 If there’s anything the world needs now, it’s steampowered octopus buttplugs, surely.
February 24, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Dude, I don’t care, I’m convoing her for the circumference, and if it won’t choke me to death I might buy the damned thing.
February 24, 2011 at 7:24 pm
See, here’s an all too rare example of a seller taking a common component and making something that’s actually graceful and attractive out of it. Creativity? Do I see you, peeking timidly out of the shadows?
February 24, 2011 at 7:24 pm
bein’ married to ‘steampunk guy’
him: it’s not steampunk, but it’d make for a fairly interesting sunburn…
February 24, 2011 at 7:42 pm
YO I HEARD YOU LIKE OCTOPUSES SO WE PUT SOME OCTOPUSES ON YOUR OCTOPUS
February 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm
I wonder if they’d take an alchemy request for an entire dress like this? Hmmmm…
February 24, 2011 at 7:50 pm
All we have to do is get it to predict the outcome of the next Super Bowl, and the sushi gods will be appeased!
February 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm
I’ve been gone too long again, I see. Had no idea that octopi were the new requirement for “steampunk”.
February 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Octopus orgy statement piece. I’ll take two.
February 24, 2011 at 9:25 pm
i need more octopi and less octopi!
February 24, 2011 at 10:04 pm
Calamari is best if tenderized with a hammer. Just sayin’.
February 25, 2011 at 12:00 am
God… Etsy’s just chock full of octopi and clams…
February 25, 2011 at 12:12 am
Somebody fill me in here. Why the hell are octopi steampunk?
February 25, 2011 at 12:34 am
@Peggy – think Jules Verne. ‘Cept people don’t seem to understand the difference between squid and octopus.
(Either that, or all octopi are actually clockwork automatons, and we just never knew. It would explain some things.)
February 25, 2011 at 2:58 am
That’s the most uniquest steampunk necklace I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of unique ones.
February 25, 2011 at 4:34 am
Oh god, now that is just taking the piss!
February 25, 2011 at 5:28 am
#20–Barrel O’Monkeys dress!! I wanna see that!
February 25, 2011 at 5:31 am
I can’t wait to see what these people do when they discover this Vintage Japanese Octopus Art.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tako_to_ama_retouched.jpg
February 25, 2011 at 5:48 am
Here we see Polypus Orichalcum, the exceedingly strange and shy Brass Octopi, in their semiannual ritual mating circle. Few scientists have ever observed p. orichalcum up close during mating and this is indeed a special treat. Notice how the males link tentacles with each other to form a common bond with the solitary female. When they attain maximum linkage, there will be a single, joyous explosion of fuckery that will ensure the future of the species for the next two years. Let’s watch.
February 25, 2011 at 6:53 am
Artfire is not immune to this STD either…
Shabby Steampunk Octopus Necklace Teal Verdigris Patina
http://www.artfire.com/modules.php?name=Shop&op=listing&product_id=2313573
Neo Victorian Nouveau Steampunk Octopus Belt
http://www.artfire.com/modules.php?name=Shop&op=listing&product_id=2590726
Unisex Steampunk Octopus Belt Buckle
http://www.artfire.com/modules.php?name=Shop&op=listing&product_id=2420409
Steampunk – OCTOPUS – Business Card Holder – Antique Silver – Neo Victorian
http://www.artfire.com/modules.php?name=Shop&op=listing&product_id=2715263
Verdigris Octo Ring
http://www.artfire.com/modules.php?name=Shop&op=listing&product_id=2449311
There were rings, earrings, bracelets, belts, etc. Some sellers had taken the time to make something that actually looked cool…like the belt buckle & business card holder above. The main culprit spewing forth the shit is a seller called coldtentacle with 221 pages of glorious steaming shit in her store.
February 25, 2011 at 6:57 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 25, 2011 at 7:56 am
I feel like this is slam poetry. I have an almost overwhelming need to respond
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by crafting, polymer clay naked,
dragging themselves through the Etsy pages at dawn looking for a steampunk octopus,
Angel-headed hipsters hot-gluing watch parts
to the dregs of the Hobby Lobby sale bins,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up knitting in the supernatural darkness of
their smoke free, pet free craft-rooms
contemplating vulvae,
who bared their brains to Etsy under the influence of Hillbilly bajingo wash and clothespin ribbon,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating talent and Etsy-shop tragedy
among the scholars of art,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy &
upcycling obscene objects on the windows of the internet,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in used underwear,
February 25, 2011 at 8:33 am
Princess BCGE, had to hop back on to say thanks for the Ganeshish poster.
February 25, 2011 at 8:56 am
Buzzkill-I too have fond memories of Barrel of Monkeys an would love to see a dress made out of them. Especially if it was a full length gown.
This necklace made me think that what the world needs is a neo-Victorian steampunk crocheted bikini burlesque costume……………………….
February 25, 2011 at 9:18 am
My octopus necklace goes to eleven.
February 25, 2011 at 9:20 am
“Neo victorian nouveau…”
That’s not a product name or description; it’s a short bus MadLibs result
February 25, 2011 at 9:57 am
#26 Joshpincus I believe the correct term is OCTOPI. (cue Homer Simpson) “ughhhh PIE”
February 25, 2011 at 10:08 am
#14 Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle :
what’s “sushi Gold”? Is that a collection of hit songs played in Japanese restaurants?
Exactly! My dad had that album – Ray Coniff, I believe.
February 25, 2011 at 10:18 am
Might as well just broaden the horizon and use other sea creatures, like “Victorian Time Travelling Sushi Piranhas” or “Neo Steampunk Puffer Fish”
February 25, 2011 at 10:43 am
level 5? i think it needs more vaginas and watch parts to get to level 5.
February 25, 2011 at 11:32 am
@#68 knittin-kitten, don’t invoke what you can’t dispell…I have mad crocheting skillz and you are seriously tempting me. Now where did I leave my steel crochet hooks and neo-Victorian steampunk sketch pad…?
February 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I bow to your poetic powers #66 unholyghost2003. You said it all.
February 25, 2011 at 3:18 pm
#57 Peggy -
Straight from the cephalopod’s mouth…
http://thesteampunkempire.com/forum/topics/question-why-is-the-octopus
February 25, 2011 at 6:03 pm
With so many ways to connect they’re like the Meccano set ™ of the jewelry world.
February 28, 2011 at 3:09 am
Poor Queen Victoria, all the crimes against good taste that are committed in your name…
March 2, 2011 at 12:53 am
It’s about time someone recognized the Victorians and their massive contributions to sushi. May this jewelry withstand the test of time and be uncovered in thousands of years as a reminder of the taste level of its wearer.
March 8, 2011 at 4:16 am
WTF? How is it that someone actually BOUGHT this?!?! And for more than $0.50? I want to cry.
I actually take the time and thought to make my jewelry and (like one other said, I use a friggin color wheel!) and this crap sells?
Who would wear this? Yuk. Ew. Gross. There is nothing sexy about an octopus. Unless you’re Octomom, maybe? I’ll bet ya she bought it, with her welfare check…..
March 8, 2011 at 7:40 pm
If they’re going for the Cthulu look, somehow I doubt he would be pleased with being compared to a mundane octopus