You keep using that word
IT’S UNIQUE
VERY UNIQUE
PERFECT FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE UNIQUENESS
SO UNIQUE IT’S VINTAGE AND BRAND NEW AT THE SAME TIME
HANG IT SIDEWAYS FOR MORE UNIQUENESS
GET TWO AND MAKE EARRINGS
PUT AN OWL ON IT
WATCH PARTS
WATCH PARTS
A VACUUM TUBE AND WATCH PARTS
AN ELEPHANT HEAD AND WATCH PARTS
A VAGINA AND WATCH PARTS
A MUSTACHE AND WATCH PARTS
BUY HAND ASSEMBLED!
February 23, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Wanna know what else it’s not? It’s not fucking Cthulhu. Gods dammit I hate how much that fucking octopus turns up under the Cthulhu tag. If there aren’t wings then it is NOT Cthulhu. Just not. I say this as someone who’s a bit of an expert in Cthulhu, though not in fucking Cthulhu because that’s not quite my thing.
*grr*
February 23, 2011 at 2:41 pm
Words can not describe how much I adore this post.
February 23, 2011 at 2:41 pm
I have nothing unique to say.
February 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
I hate people.
February 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
The only thing “unique” is the craptastic prices..
February 23, 2011 at 2:42 pm
The ultimate sushi gift – since the, “Enchanted testicles,” go perfectly with the, “Yonic vagina pendant.” (Yes, I read, “testicles,” – it’s a side effect of the blowjobfish I ate earlier..)
February 23, 2011 at 2:43 pm
Hipsters are cool and unique just like every other hipster.
February 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
I get so full of rage whenever I search for ‘octopus’ on etsy and it’s just a wall of these ugly things. Thanks for posting about it haha.
February 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
So, um, which of these are the fake listings Helen made to lampoon the actual listings?
Because SURELY not all of them are real. Nobody would actually hot-glue a $1 vacuum tube to a $5 octopus and sell it for $75.
That’s just unbelievable.
February 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
@#7 – “You can be non-conformist, too, if you look just like me.”
February 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
Id pay double if it would guarantee Id get, ahem, some octopussy…
February 23, 2011 at 2:45 pm
You know, they glued a vagina on there, but no testicles. I mean, come on. That’s the obvious add-on, isn’t it?
Oh, and they’re all ugly.
February 23, 2011 at 2:46 pm
And how many pages of that octopus did you go through to cull it down to those few? I must have gone through like 20 trying to find an octopus necklace that was absolutely anything but that one. I found two, and they’re grrrrrreat!
February 23, 2011 at 2:46 pm
I am going to be unique and just use the same comments as everyone else.
It’s not fucking Cthulhu. I adore this post. unique hate craptastic sushi blowjobfish hipsters.
February 23, 2011 at 2:47 pm
And still, sadly, no Sharktopus.
February 23, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Now, if it was an octopus with an owl’s and an elephants head, and a vagina, and watch parts, it might be unique. Otherwise, it’s just a cheap knock off of “TRUE VINTAGE STEAMPUNK” with spray paint. And I for one, am deeply offended.
February 23, 2011 at 2:49 pm
How dare you insult my unique octopus pendant that looks like every other octopus pendant in existence?
HA-RUMPH
February 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm
I’m so gobsmacked that all I can do is quote Harland Frackne’s post on my own blog:
I know consider entirely the opposite of the.
February 23, 2011 at 2:51 pm
I hate how Etsy is OK with these because these people “handmade” these necklaces simply by adding a chain to a pendant.
Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.
February 23, 2011 at 2:52 pm
@#6 – I too read it as “enchanted testicles.” Because *that* would make a necklace truly unique.
February 23, 2011 at 2:57 pm
What, no Christmas version?
February 23, 2011 at 2:58 pm
My friend has one of these.
She brought it off ebay for 99p
February 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm
It isn’t really an OCTO-pus either. It only has six tentacles. This might just be the lactation inducing drugs talking but doesn’t “octo” mean eight?
March 2, 2011 at 1:00 am
Technically that makes it a sextopus. Which considering the source material of Etsy, fits in perfectly.
February 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm
I love this description: NeoVictorian retro edwardian nouveau Steampunk Cthulhu octopus sushi SILVER OVER brass necklace
Translation: I have no idea what this shit is.
February 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm
An ah-ha moment: Steampunk translate to shit my grandma would think was “clever” and unique translates to plagiarism. I just don’t know if it started with Hobby Lobby…
February 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Yeah, octopus =/= Cthulthu. Also, octopus have 8 arms, not six, even when their heads are owls or elephants.
February 23, 2011 at 3:00 pm
@#19 That’s what makes it unique! You solved the puzzle!
February 23, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Hence the “oct” part.
February 23, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Even celebrities are not immune from the siren song of our eight-legged friend:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64576401/3-octopus-key-necklace-on-american-idol
February 23, 2011 at 3:07 pm
I think I’ll wait to buy my SEPTOPUS until I get anothr 40% off coupon for Hobby Lobby…
February 23, 2011 at 3:09 pm
Oops, I mean Sextopus.
February 23, 2011 at 3:09 pm
inconceivable!
February 23, 2011 at 3:13 pm
This is a unique essay on the qualities that make etsy unique. From a unique fascination with octopi, broken watches, and vaginal representation to the unique fondness for owls, etsy is a unique place to shop. Unique in its ability to attract people who think things become more valuable when glued together in incomprehensible mashups, etsy has become the destination for unique creations. Visit today to see all of the unique goods, and take home something uniquely you!
February 23, 2011 at 3:18 pm
PS- my monster icon looks like a steaming turd, how do I change it.
February 23, 2011 at 3:18 pm
Not for nothin’ but DAMN those things look heavy – maybe they should work the “it’s a work out while you go about your day” angle, like the Reebok Easy Tone crap…..
February 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm
Yawn. I liked the tilted mustivagowliphanpus back when he was underground. Next!
February 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm
The only time eight arms should be coming out of a vagina is if you’re having quadruplets (oh, alright, or if you are starring in a movie made in Chatsworth).
As for the claim “perfect for any occasion,” I’m not so sure. I get wearing it to the sushi place, the IMAX re-release premier of Finding Nemo, or going to visit Nadia Sulieman, but to a function like a wedding or bat mitzvah? Too much.
February 23, 2011 at 3:24 pm
The cumulative effect there is awesome.
Nothing against the octopus trend, because octopi are unarguably groovy, but I don’t see why it always has to be THE SAME OCTOPUS.
February 23, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Would having six tentacles not make it a…sextopus?
February 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm
“fucking hipsters”
February 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I’m ashamed to say I actually loved this post enough to buy an octopus necklace off ebay.
…it’s okay though, I’m going to wear it *ironically*
February 27, 2011 at 10:11 am
Just curious, Why Ebay and not Etsy?
February 27, 2011 at 10:11 am
Just curious, Why Ebay and not Etsy?
February 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm
That damned octopus!
February 23, 2011 at 3:29 pm
@#33 Maybe. But wearing it would be pretty damned good birth control.
February 23, 2011 at 3:31 pm
I wonder if the octopus in the jewelery world is like the hand in the world of the Sunday funnies. Seems like most of the octopus necklaces on Etsy have fewer than eight tentacles. Or maybe the octopi are all losing limbs as they wrestle with the artists, vainly struggling to keep themselves from being turned into crazy trend mash-up necklaces. Up next: Octopi wearing glingers. And on butt plugs, of course.
February 23, 2011 at 3:44 pm
But surely the owl-to-pus seller has been schooled in the fine art of creative listing (think Higher Learning for Morons); I mean as a typical buyer this alleviates any doubt in my mind as to the size this monstrosity must be…”Thin stamped metal but sturdy and not flimsy, about the thickness of a metal soup can.”
WHAAAA???? Let me snarf a can of bean n’ bacon soup so I can really visualize…
February 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm
It looks like a lot of people bought the same push mold.
February 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm
How in the hell do you compile a post like this without having a rage-induced stroke?
February 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm
just be sure if you want to make fun of octopus clothing you come to me!
February 23, 2011 at 3:58 pm
All these Octopus pendants makes me think wouldn’t it be awesome if a rapper were to wear all of these including the earrings? It’d be better than the Mr T bling from the 80′s.
February 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm
It took me a full 30 seconds to realize that the one with the vagina was not a joke one that April made as a “response.”
February 23, 2011 at 4:00 pm
They’re so uniquely unique that they’re unique in their uniqueness. UNIQUE!!!!
February 23, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Back in 1980, our high school’s first punk band was called (get ready for it) The DV8Rs. And their signature artwork was to take fluffy kitten posters and put black electrical tape over their eyes. They were hardcore for sure.
Based on the level of creativity as demonstrated by octo-wear, I think they’d make a freakin’ killing on Etsy. If you ever run across electrical-taped-kitten-posters tagged as Steampunk, ask ‘em if they can still play “Pretty Vacant” for me, will you?
February 23, 2011 at 4:14 pm
I had to go check the mustache one to make sure it was a real listing.
February 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm
I could have sworn all the Jules Verne aquatic monsters were giant squid and not octupusses.
And since when is a vacuum tube Steampunk?
February 23, 2011 at 4:16 pm
@#25, Shit! Can you imagine dancing with that gigantic piece of crap on? I hope she didn’t do any turns or she’d probably have smacked herself silly! Octo-auto-smackdown!
February 23, 2011 at 4:19 pm
I keep seeing this hideous thing as well as a glass locket I bought at Michaels being resold as “vintage” for huge markups. The locket I’ve seen being sold for as much as 40 dollars and I bought it for five.
February 23, 2011 at 4:22 pm
I couldn’t stop laughing, wondering when the onslaught of octopi would end!
Where’s the bejeweled penis octopus?
February 23, 2011 at 4:30 pm
#50 As soon as hipsters/steam punks (or whatever it is they call themselves) find a new animal to put on crappy necklaces. Anyone wanna take bets on what the next popular animal might be? I’ve got 25 cents on Rhinos.
February 23, 2011 at 4:32 pm
This will go perfectly with my tie dye jeans, backless sweater, jellies, and banana clip.
February 23, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Love the one hanging sideways. Says to me, I want to sell jewelry, but I didn’t even bother to buy tools, so I’ll just string this sideways.
February 23, 2011 at 4:40 pm
Goodness, there are more octopusses on Etsy than there are in the ocean.
February 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm
So if it’s only got six legs is it a hexopus or a sexopus? It’s definitely a kakopus.
February 23, 2011 at 4:47 pm
I think the tentacled vagina is the perfect man repellent.
February 23, 2011 at 4:54 pm
@Eessirc I hope at least one of those two octopuses was one of mine.
I so despise the fucking Hobby Lobby octopus as someone who actually makes unique octopus jewelry. My obsession with cephalopods isn’t just in my own work, I buy a good bit of octopus and squid related stuff and I hate wading through all the listings with that charm to find stuff to buy.
February 23, 2011 at 4:57 pm
what a bunch of octo-pussies.
February 23, 2011 at 5:03 pm
I was surprised the vagootopus wasn’t HK’s response to these things.
Then again, this is Etsy. Home of “Glue a Vagina on it, Whatever it Is.”
February 23, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Hey now! I use those Octopussies in some of my items and darn if I don’t work my ass off making them look nice. (hold for ass check….Nope, still plenty of ass there….damn). Anyways. Steampunk is as Steampunk does. That’s what my Brother-Husband always says.
February 23, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Some counting on my part (yes, I suffer from a mild case of OCD) reveals a lot of those ‘octopuses only have seven arms. Though given the way they’re curled up, I could be wrong (I probably need to get new glasses).
Then I thought maybe they were supposed to be squids. But squids have ten arms (well, eight arms and two tentacles, and yes, there IS a difference between an arm and a tentacle).
I can only conclude that whatever these things are, they were probably spawned following the BP oil spill and are some sort of mutant abominations.
Fucking hipsters.
February 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm
This is my favorite post ever.
My new motto is “Slap a vag on it, Sell it on Etsy”
February 23, 2011 at 5:33 pm
I love this post. You can almost *see* Helen’s sanity peeling away as you scroll down the page. “A VAGINA AND WATCH PARTS”–ow, I think I dislocated my funnybone!
February 23, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Holy shit. This thing turned up in my recommendations half a dozen times just yesterday. I was raging hard, and here it is again! HOW DID YOU KNOW!?
February 23, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I like the hipster octopus with his ironic mustache.
February 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I was given a “unique” octopus necklace by a relative who just knew I liked Etsy. I guess you have to say “no” to the octopi before your can say “yes” to anything awesome.
February 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm
Thank you for the laughs, Regretsy : )
And, I’ve learned something new about Cthulhu today – that if I was ever brazen enough to buy an octopus charm – I need to solder wings on it if I wanna use that tag. I’ll just thank my lucky stars I’ve never tagged anything as Cthulhu + I’m too lazy to buy an octopus pendant.
I can’t wait until the next quirky mass produced art pendant… I’m sure I’ll see it on Etsy.
February 23, 2011 at 6:09 pm
Oh SON of a –
I love this sucker dangit (see what I did there?! octopuses have suckers on their tenta– oh, you got it? sorry). I got this necklace a couple of years ago on girlprops.com and I DID get comments about how cool it was. Now everywhere sells it!
I’m not a special snowflake anymore!
AND MINE DIDN’T EVEN COME WITH VINTAGESTEAMPUNKVAGINAMOUSTACHEWATCHPARTS. MY LIFE! *woe*
February 23, 2011 at 6:49 pm
HK, please tell me your “You Keep Using that Word” is a Princess Bride reference–and make my nerdy day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk&feature=related
Consider your nerdy day made. – HK
February 23, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Im so going to place an octopus order on the hobbylobby website and solder a little metal cup of that vagina juice to the back of it, just like those pins my mom used to buy me from Avon with some horrible perfume cake attached. Lift the pendant and you have easy back-of-the-hand-rubbing access.
Watch for the Octopussy Pendant in my regretsy store. And don’t you bitches dare steal my idea.
February 23, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Thank you, because of this I now have Beyonce singing, “If you like it, then you should have put an owl on it,” running through my head…
Also, is a vagina and watch parts supposed to be a reminder of that “time of the month?”
February 23, 2011 at 7:27 pm
I about died laughing at “A vagina and watch parts.” How could I not see that one coming? It’s Etsy, ergo there must be vulva.
Also, my teenage daughter has an octopus like these from Hot Topic. It’s florescent pink and has a mustache. If it’s in Hot Topic, it’s not unique.
February 23, 2011 at 7:27 pm
HA! I have the one from Hobby Lobby!
If a vagina has eight legs,run!
February 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm
I wanna see one with Durer’s praying hands attached.
February 23, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Vagina as octopus, great. Lotta bad dreams out there tonight, eh boys?
February 23, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Also, I just remembered this. Someone did ask me if they could commission a Cthulhu with a vagina on it. The idea was to stick another, smaller Cthulhu inside it.
…
I am working on a Cthulhu egg because that seemed like a sane compromise.
February 23, 2011 at 7:48 pm
True story, I actually bought this necklace years ago and crafted it into cthulhu
February 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm
HEXAPI RULE ETSY:
http://imgur.com/WKXD6
How could you overlook THAT? Inventing a new species of cephalopod is SO unique.
February 23, 2011 at 8:28 pm
with that over sized earring how long will it take for your earlobe to touch your shoulder with that behemoth
February 23, 2011 at 8:41 pm
This reminds me of the ‘unique birds on branch’ charm movement. Yikes.
February 23, 2011 at 9:02 pm
Maybe the Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife pendant?
http://www.mardecortesbaja.com/blog/_archives/2010/6/4/4544484.html
Bamboo bikini mamma where are you?
February 23, 2011 at 9:07 pm
INCOMING FUCKERY.
I just bought the Octophant. Octofuckyes.
Pictures will be taken upon its arrival, of course.
February 23, 2011 at 9:16 pm
Please tell me the vagina one and the mustache one are fake.
February 23, 2011 at 9:30 pm
My heart (or was it my vaginal lips?) swelled with love when I saw the yonic vagina octopus. I got my nose pierced at Yoni Tattoo in Tarzana. It brought back some good memories, you know?
Also? The Owlctopus? Fucking awesome.
February 23, 2011 at 9:31 pm
@#57: Would that make it an octopenis?
February 23, 2011 at 9:40 pm
I found my Sculpey! Now, what to make…what to make… Something UNIQUE… *ponder*
February 23, 2011 at 9:58 pm
My white-hot rage rant – why is a fucking octopus (or insert whatever molluscs variant here) ever “steampunk”? The only time an octopus could be considered “steampunk” is when it’s a giant, steel and copper hydraulic, clockwork and steam powered vehicle controlled by a 19th Century super villain intent on taking over the Empire.
You don’t think Victorian era Europe – octopus! The Babbage’s Difference Engine – octopus! Edwardian mechanical quack medical devices – octopus! Dirigible – octopus! Finely crafted and engraved gold chronometer – octopus! Bustle – octopus!
It’s sellers such as these that make me cringe and whisper “I’m a steampunk artist…” And while I’m on this soapbox – sticking watch movements on anything and everything is just lame, creatively lazy and also not steampunk! It had it’s five minutes just after the antique typewriter keys as a pendant/ring/cuff links. Now getting down from soapbox…
February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Steampunk: It’s like a grandfather clock threw up over Abraham Lincoln.
February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm
If you’re a hipster then you shoulda put a mollusc on it. /moustache tweak
February 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Oh GOD DAMMIT.
I read this post. I laugh. I move on. RIGHT? NO.
Then I open up the new issue of BUST and WHAT DO I SEE? ONE OF THESE GODDAMN OCTOPUSES. ..octopi? octopodies? I DON’T KNOW.
Here. You can kind of see it here: http://www.thefeast.com/philadelphia/shopping/FEAST-SHOP-PHI-Rakia-Reynolds-in-Bust-Magazine-115902414.html
HER ONE-OF-A-KIND STYLE. SHE GOES ON ABOUT THE EARRING IN THE INTERVIEW. IT’S MADE A POINT OF. OH GODDAMMIT.
February 23, 2011 at 10:01 pm
HK: I found a better deal: http://cgi.ebay.com/Antiqued-brass-OCTOPUS-Chain-NECKLACE-Pendant-/180630917017?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2a0e710f99
February 23, 2011 at 10:08 pm
“NeoVictorian retro edwardian nouveau Steampunk Cthulhu octopus sushi SILVER OVER brass necklace” is like the subject line for spam emails.
February 23, 2011 at 10:58 pm
…I have one of these pendants… *shameface*
but in my own defense, i bought the damn thing on sale at hobby lobby (a wonderfully addicting place).
February 23, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Hey y’all …. I just located the “Etsy Octopi Breeding Facility” This gal is supplying all those Etsy artists creating unique or vintage octopi … er … crap.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/jwlrysupply/search?search_query=octopus&search_type=user_shop_ttt_id_5225168&shopname=jwlrysupply
This seller of “components” has cornered the market on these tentacled horrors. A full page of the little buggers for only $3.95 apiece. Such a deal!!!!
All from the same mold and all UNIQUE.
February 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Yikes … just noticed that this seller of Octopi has amassed over 30,000 sales … a high percentage of which are presumably octopus … all of them unique.
February 23, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Go to startpage.com and type +steampunk +octopus into the search field. Click “Pictures.”
I recommend placing a soft, folded towel on your desktop before clicking, right about where you expect your jaw to hit. (It’s more than the 60 results reported on page 1.)
February 23, 2011 at 11:31 pm
@103 – Did you notice that it tells you immediately how many “unique” results there are?
February 23, 2011 at 11:40 pm
#88 Holden Back:
Ah yes. The original hentai.
No way in hell am I ever letting an octopus (or anything with tentacles) anywhere near my hoo-ha. Since that would require butt-naked-deep-sea diving, I don’t think I need to worry about it anytime soon.
February 23, 2011 at 11:46 pm
#104: When you get to page 3, you get more links. Still more on page 5, etc. It does end on page 16 (for now) with 436 matches. I admit, I thought it would go on longer when I stopped at page 15 earlier. I’m actually kind of disappointed.
February 24, 2011 at 12:48 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 24, 2011 at 1:30 am
A mass produced octopus pendent does not a Cthulhu cultist make.
February 24, 2011 at 2:14 am
And up to now I thought Das Poop was slated to win the Regretsy Oscar, 2011. Yet here this is, less than a month later: gemlike in its facets and precision, the very epitome… microcosm… breviary… tiny yet comprehensive summary of The Worst Of.
February 24, 2011 at 3:13 am
Finally!proof that the kool-Etsy formula for oft-promoted semi-handmade has polluted the entire site. Mustache-Octo is double proof.
This is how Etsy has decimated handmade, both its definition, reputation for quality, and how to drive prices down the toilet.
Etsy’s over-reaching, heavy-handed editorial dictatorship means every 20 cents any seller spends is an affirmation of their continued destruction of real handmade.
February 24, 2011 at 4:18 am
With all this whimsicle fucktardedness, there should be a cocktopus here somewhere.
February 24, 2011 at 5:11 am
I call for an octopus tag.
February 24, 2011 at 5:16 am
Oh dear… I really like them to be honest. I just had no idea that so many were spawning.
Do I have to wait another 20 years for them to go out of style to ‘rediscover’ them, or something?
February 24, 2011 at 5:19 am
I was really expecting the last 2 to be lampoons. It’s just crazy what people will glue together these days.
February 24, 2011 at 5:33 am
The good news is I don’t see any swasktikas…I mean ‘Native American peace symbols’ glued to an octopus, so I’ll still be able to sell my jewelry as unique…
February 24, 2011 at 6:03 am
I think this octopus should be handed out at the Quasi-annual Regretsy Awards.
What? We DON’T have our own awards show?
February 24, 2011 at 6:16 am
I bought a necklace with this octopus on it about a year ago and I hate that everyone decided it must be used for everything. I still love my necklace, but I guess its not so “unique” anymore.
February 24, 2011 at 6:40 am
#68 Badger, if you really suffered from OCD, (or could read previous comments), you’d know that EACH of them has SIX tentacles. Not seven. And not “some” of them, as they are all the exact same pendant, which is kind of the whole point of this post.
February 24, 2011 at 7:00 am
@ #69 that is a good motto, but I prefer “Slap a vag on it, get paid” as it applies not just to Etsy but to so many times in life.
February 24, 2011 at 7:02 am
LEVEL 4 Unique Octopus Pendant: http://tinyurl.com/4w22gcw
February 24, 2011 at 7:47 am
I feel my life will not be complete unless I buy an octopus and make my own Not-Steampunk Vagina/Owl/Elephant Not-Cthulhu Hybrid Monstrosity jewelry. I work at a craft store and can get a bunch of ugly, sparkly, pointless shit for super cheap with my employee discount. FOR ONLY A FEW DOLLARS, I COULD CREATE A HIDEOUS, CRAFTY MONSTROSITY THE LIKES OF WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN. IT WILL BLOW ALL OF THIS SHIT RIGHT OUT OF THE WATER AND WILL BE SOLD AT EVEN MORE INFLATED PRICES. THESE UNIQUE STEAMPUNK CTHULHUS WILL NOT KNOW WHAT HIT THEM. MY DREAMS OF SUPERVILLAINY ARE NOW BEING REALIZED!
February 24, 2011 at 7:53 am
I’d upcraft that shit in a heartbeat. Only, I’d use a vagi- Oh. Well, DAMN. Etsy, only you would beat me to an octopussy joke.
February 24, 2011 at 7:53 am
PUT AN OWL ON IT
http://shanalogic.com/item.php?item_id=2794&category_id=203
February 24, 2011 at 8:41 am
Just loved how that same octopus kept coming and coming…the more I scrolled, the more uniqueness – and watchparts! – were revealed! Delightful!
February 24, 2011 at 8:44 am
It’s not even just Etsy. I see these everywhere. They are taking over!
Well…when I see them in stores they don’t usually have a vagina glued to them, so thanks for the great idea…although I will probably go with a rainbow vagina…just to be REALLY unique.
February 24, 2011 at 8:56 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 24, 2011 at 9:10 am
You could also do one of these posts about the damn sparrow earrings. You’d think people would figure out that everyone uses the same 50-cent finding….
February 24, 2011 at 9:19 am
I really did read that whole post thinking, but I bet no one’s put a *moustache* on an octopus. Wrong, as usual.
What I want is an octopus necklace with a vulva, a moustache, one watch finding and an owl. Maybe I’ll post an alchemy request …
February 24, 2011 at 9:31 am
OMG! I just had an amazing money making idea for esty shop owners everywhere!
Look at those poor little sextopusses up there, all lonely, lost and cold. Lonely for they have no home, lost for they no not what they are and cold because; THEY ARE NAKED!
We need somebody to open a shop that makes clothing for this sextopus! Think about it; thousands of unique octopus amputees without a thread of steampunk garb. What could possibly be sadder than that?
February 24, 2011 at 10:02 am
Ha! I meant my etsy store. I don’t have a regretsy store.
Of course, I dont have an etsy store, either.
February 24, 2011 at 10:05 am
@110 – I have bought some beautiful handmade children’s clothing and received some handmade jewelry as gifs — all bought on etsy.
Etsy is not the problem. Just like in any other aspect of life like crossing the street or choosing a divorce attorney, you have to have your eyes open and use your brain.
February 24, 2011 at 11:49 am
Dumb question proving I’m out of the loop: Since when is an octopus considered steampunk?
February 24, 2011 at 11:49 am
I laughed so hard I choked on my cereal, passed out from lack of oxygen, woke up, saw the rest of this entry and died laughing again. I will never again peruse this site while eating. Congratulations Helen, a valuable lesson was learned today.
February 24, 2011 at 12:27 pm
On the topic of misused keywords… “sideshow circus”? Most of my friends are circus/sideshow people. I can’t picture any one of them wearing the owlctopus monstrosity. Now the elephant one, MAYBE.
February 24, 2011 at 1:39 pm
I JUST bought a “make your own octopus necklace” kit which included–wait for it–an octopus, a chain, a fastener, and some jump rings. For about $7. And I’m under no illusions that it’s “unique”–just liked the damn thing.
Although I think I like this post more.. ^_^
February 24, 2011 at 2:07 pm
So it’s a sextopus without testicles or a penis, but a vagina, but one tag I coulda swore said testicles, your fault entirely
. @29 Holy HELL that is just too much shit thrown onto one more big piece of shit, probably worn later on by a piece of shit. Wow that there is a lot of shit. This is mind boggling. Why do people think they are unique if they can just go on Etsy, do a search and find multiple hits of what they just made?
February 24, 2011 at 2:09 pm
To all who may be questioning whether it is a sexapus or a hexopus, read on:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_the_Hexapus
February 24, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I did a an octopus/elephant hybrid thing last summer, but at least I gave my cepahlophant 8 trunkacles!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/59159888/cepholophant-elephant-squid-hybrid
I actually did this waaaaay before this post, when I was making a flaming elephant for an art exhibit. (last time I get invited to that art show…) Trunks and tentacles, they’re a natural fit!
February 24, 2011 at 2:56 pm
For those of you wondering where the octopenis/cocktopus was…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/reigninthechaos/5474424447/
February 24, 2011 at 3:15 pm
Sometime I have what the Germans call a long connection – slowness in getting to the big idea.
GLINGERS AND SEXAPODES TOGETHER AT LAST!
Thanks @ GoreKitten #129
February 24, 2011 at 6:10 pm
Hey! These artists put a lot of time into their crap, I mean craft. Leave the owlctopus alone! He already has an inferiority complex after realizing his brother grew a mustache and his cousin grew a vagina. How would you feel if someone put a bird on you? Damn Portlandia! Putting birds on things does not good art make!
PS – Even after all the crap I have seen here, I had to click through to make sure the mustached octopus was real. It is.
February 24, 2011 at 7:54 pm
i actually bought this octopus necklace at hot topic, but mine is ALL BLACK LIKE MY FUCKING HEART.
February 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm
If this trend is what it takes to be cool, but the six-legged metal version is so overdone, I choose to put live calamari in a fishbowl around my neck.
February 25, 2011 at 2:28 am
@#143 sheltiepitbullfun: I’d pay to see that.
February 25, 2011 at 7:38 am
Long-time lurker, but the mustached octopus was too much fuckery to resist, it’s on the way now.
#15 Maybe not as awesome as one made with THE octopus, but sharktopus necklace is here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/67491478/of-myth-and-legend-sharktopus-resin?ref=sr_gallery_4&ga_shopname=katmartinartist&ga_ref=auto&ga_search_query=sharktopus&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade
August 9, 2011 at 10:26 am
Hey, I know this is from months ago, but could you give me the seller for the mustachioed octopus? I really wanted to get one at the time and never really got around to it, and now I can’t find it. I’d like to contact the seller to find out if I can get one. Thanks!
February 25, 2011 at 3:05 pm
I was hoping it was all a joke. The octopus looks like the head of Davy Jones in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. What a nasty thing to do to a poor defenseless octopus.
February 27, 2011 at 8:30 am
Well, i have one. But mine is TRULY unique.
It’s hot pink with a mustache. I got it at Hot Topic.
February 27, 2011 at 5:59 pm
All right. I’ll admit it. I’m one of the people that sells this necklace (although I’ve never used the term “unique” to describe it). I can spend hours making more “handmade” jewelry, or I can spend 5 minutes to “assemble” this one. Guess which one I sell more of? But here’s the thing: people wont stop buying it. It is my number one seller! Even when I tell people I just put things on a chain, they are still impressed and still pay $20 for it.
March 2, 2011 at 12:17 pm
From the same seller who created the fabulous Masturbating Dinosaur… http://www.etsy.com/listing/61425258/5-large-octopus-charm-pendant
March 5, 2011 at 5:26 pm
There are so many talent deprived sellers flogging their uninspired trinkets made with this ugly 5 cent finding (another gem: http://www.etsy.com/listing/66900157/steampunk-necklace-octopus-round-antique) that it’s tempting to put them all in the same boat, one that’s sailing full steam ahead, destination: “World’s End” (back when the Earth was flat and everything was steampunk)
But I don’t reckon this particular seller belongs on board HMS ubiquitous… Sure she’s jumping on the same-old-octopus gravy train, but at least she’s cast them in different colors and you get five of them for ten bucks… And she’s responsible for some very cool stuff.
March 2, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Both the owl and elephant heads that were stuck to the octupus’ body are from Forever 21 necklaces…way to be original
March 3, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Excessive in-breeding by Fugly Octopus farmers can cause serious congenital birth defects. I’ve started collecting these mutant octopi because similar to coin collecting, errors in production are often worth a fortune. Here’s my favorite – It’s insured for $30,000
March 9, 2011 at 4:40 pm
What!? Octopussy!? sweet.
March 8, 2011 at 4:30 am
I’ve been creating and designing jewelry since 2005 and in the last year have bought an inventory of beads, etc (and I spent over 10K from a ton of online suppliers, even eBay and etsy)…for my new shop and have NOT ONCE ANYWHERE SEEN THIS FUGLY thing!!!! Where did it come from and how long has this creepy thing been around? And, btw, I can’t stand people who say their shit is handmade on Etsy when you see it on 12 other fucking sites! Talk about testicles? They’re the ones with BALLS. Don’t sell me something that says handmade when it’s friggin MASS PRODUCED, and from HOBBY LOBBY, of all damn places! Shitheads.
March 9, 2011 at 4:39 pm
I just saw a girl (a Forever 21) employee wearing one of these, paired with an otherwise pretty unique outfit. I was so shocked (and horrified) by seeing the famous regretsy octopus in real life, that i just couldn’t bring myself to say even anything.
March 14, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Found this little gem on the Plasticland ad right next to all the uniqueness:
http://www.shopplasticland.com/fashion/p/P91211506.html
it’s not quite the same, but it’s 22 goddamned dollars.
March 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/67779846/burgundy-wine-brass-octopus-hand-painted
Now it’s a handpainted octopus necklace. her store name is “simply chacha”. Simply Ca-ca!
March 24, 2011 at 4:52 pm
This is SO cool!! I made the “time on my hands” octopus pendant about a year ago. They never sold until I tagged it with “Steampunk”!
Finally, I got on your site!!
I really want to glue a big plastic octopus on a little hat and call it a “Cthulhu Fascinator”
What do ya think?
August 4, 2011 at 8:36 pm
you don’t get it, do you? we’re making FUN of crappy mass produced sextopi, not ENCOURAGING more crap.
March 29, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Yeah, so I bought a necklace that’s the exact same thing as the second one down for less than $10 in the Little Tokyo area in Los Angeles. Where do people get off selling it for $20?! This post is fucking hilarious.
March 30, 2011 at 9:40 pm
So, holy shit, I just registered simply to tell you that this was one of the funniest fucking things I’ve read in some time. Your all-caps comments between the screencaps just took it to a whole new level. I was laughing at them a little at first, i.e. “IT’S UNIQUE”, “VERY UNIQUE”…then when I got to “WATCH PARTS” I. fucking. lost it. “PUT AN OWL ON IT” right before that was good, I was crying already, but “WATCH PARTS” twice, then with the vacuum tube was just, and I mean this as literally as possible, gut-wrenchingly funny. When I got to the elephant head and watch parts, I KNEW what it was going to say, yet as soon as I scrolled down, I lost it again. I thought I had it under control, after that. My mind wasn’t prepared for what I saw next. “A VAGINA AND WATCH PARTS”…wow. Just, wow.
April 8, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I just found this fun treasury… 6 of them look just alike.
http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4d9f44bff6d76d9157ab2478/octopodes
April 20, 2011 at 4:06 pm
When this picture came up on “I Can Has Cheezburger?”, well, I just couldn’t resist http://cheezburger.com/View/4672509184
April 21, 2011 at 7:14 am
@ Pammie2011 – Thanks for posting that!
April 21, 2011 at 7:15 am
It’s time for someone to make a beard out of either feathers or chrysanthemums.
June 1, 2011 at 6:19 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/73536318/steampunk-necklace-octopus-girl-gothic?ref=tre-4dd6b9e7b7a38eefb9505a13-15
Thought I should leave this link here
June 8, 2011 at 7:39 am
i literally just received the same necklace as the first two for five dollars on ebay….seriously…shipping included, and it came from china. CHINAAA.
July 18, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Late comment, but I just want to say that I’d totally get the mustachioed octopus, if only because that’s the type of mustache that has to be seen to be believed.
July 22, 2011 at 8:01 pm
how’s about these poodles? or the kewpie doll?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/78329138/pair-of-silver-poodles-charm-1930s-1940s
Steampunk enough for ya?
August 24, 2011 at 11:50 pm
Why is only the bottom tentacle different on the Etsy ones when compared to the Hobby Lobby one?
August 24, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Could one pendant be a ripoff of the other?
September 21, 2011 at 11:05 pm
the mustache is pretty cool! i want one with a beard!
September 26, 2011 at 2:20 pm
I just wrote an article on my blog about how I am so over Steampunk. I guess I should have talked about this Octopus dude as well.
http://thedilettantista.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/why-i-am-over-steampunk/
September 26, 2011 at 2:27 pm
It’s not too late to amend the article.