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At least it’s not a blue dress.
Nothing like a pair of jeans that feels nice and jizzed-in as soon as I try them on.
Stupid sperm. They’re swimming the wrong way.
I always wonder if thrift store jeans have cum stains…..
There’s 100, and she hand-sewed 46…where did the other 54 come from?!
I have to appreciate how the seller is so unapologetic in calling them “cum wad” pants.
these are one of O’s FAVORITE THINGS!!!!
So in that picture, does that count as her “O” face?
Next up: Matching facinator.
Damn, if only they were in black.
Well, if parents go through any difficulty giving “The Talk” to their kids, at least they can have a visual aid…
holy fuck I love this seller’s sense of humor!
This crafter is so close. So close. It needs only two more elements to hit the Trailer Trash Trifecta: April’s Snooki mask, and the rainbow vulva ring stitched to the right front hem.
@#9Bunnerfly Facinator and mustache, surely.
This poll is nonsense. Sean Penn was robbed!
I sense the need for a Photoshop contest, however.
These are pants you do not want to cuff.
oh thanks for making me shoot tea out o fmy nose, LeeLoo!
ima get your heart racing in my sperm-tight jeans, be your teenage squeam tonight.
The guy who wears these will also be the idiot whose Facebook status is something like “All women are bitches, all they want is a bad boy. But when I wear my cum wad pants to the club they all be hating.”
Way to advertise your low sperm count. they are rather large, so that’s some sort of compensation.
I’ll wait for the ovum applique jeans.
Levi smutten fly jeans.
Wilma-Perhaps they’re intended to be used by Planned Parenthood as a birth-control visual?
So this is what you wear when you are pussyfooting around?
#5-I was wondering about that as well. I thought it was the egg that split, not the sperm.
The 100 came from the shirt she cut up to make the pants. She just used 46 of them. The remaining 54 are either still on the remnants of the shirt or on some other project.
Going with Etsy historical tradition these pants are lacking a vagina appliqué on the right cuff.
I would suggest wearing these with fuzzy Frog Slippers.
Stay classy, with cum wad pants.
Sperm (excuse me, “cum wad”), diarrhea, bad taste…all run in the jeans. (Read: “genes”)
Generally that goes over better verbally.
Wilma, they’re swimming the wrong way because they’re on Oprah. But I have to say she wore them better *sigh*, even Oprah looks hotter than me.
If you’re gonna wear these and put your foot in your mouth, make sure it’s the left foot.
I’m actually glad to come here and find out that it’s sperm. I was almost afraid to click the link on my Facebook and find out why there was a huge, white LEG coming out of the fly of pants named “Cum Wad.”
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8898, 8899…Yes, I’m counting 9000.
No, wait, I was wrong….
THAT SPERM COUNT IS OVER 9000!
“And you get some sperm – and you get some sperm”
thanks Oprah !
Best when worn with a pearl necklace
One sperm, two sperm, three sperm AH AH AH
Re: #9 Bunnerfly, you can’t go there without making a bukkake facinator joke! It’s just so perfect. It’s the marriage of two horrible things into something both revolting and terrifying!
This doesn’t need a fascinator, it needs Cameron Diaz’s upswept hairdo from There’s Something about Mary.
#5 no, no, there were about 100 originally, but she was feeling a bit peckish…
#12 honey, talk to the camera or the nice people will throw rotten tomatoes at you
I love how on Sean Penn the sperm look kinda faded and ragged.
#5 some of the other sperm were used for this fuckery, which has “nice wear and tear” including a sexy green stain on the crotch
My first question is “Why the fuck did you buy a SHIRT with this shit on it in the FIRST PLACE!?”
My second question is “What the frak made you think it was a GOOD IDEA to put them on PANTS?!”
I KNEW.. I JUST KNEW those “flipping the bird” shoes was going to cause problems.
I demand real hand[job]made.
The ultimate work of the Bajizzler!
Damn, I can’t buy these – I dress to the left.
I found the rest of the sperm!
…And I jizzed on my pants? Awkward…
you know if the seller uses the other sperm going the opposite direction on another pair of jeans, the seller can market as a his and her set of jeans
i thought the who wore it better might be spears or kardshian vs charlie sheen…
#48 yecats that sounds like a skit Andy Samberg might do on SNL. Oh right HE DID
I read a post on Regretsy about Cum Wad pants and…
$100 for a pair of jizzed-on jeans? Now every mother of a teenage boy will be scouring the hamper for gold!
I work really hard to make my stuff. But the lesson of regretsy seems to be all I need to do is applique some sex parts and/or discharge on thrift store jeans. Sigh…
I want to see the back and make sure there isn’t a poop stain sewn on.
Hey, I actually like these. If I get these pants, I never have to worry about having to ejaculate on my own pants again. These are hella convenient.
He cuts other people’s designs off of teeshirts, sticks them onto store-bought jeans and denim jackets, then “copyrights” it to himself.
Bucking Frilliant. THIS is why I’m poor. Honesty is no place for Etsy.
Getting someone pregnant–Ur doing it Wrong
This made my jaw drop. Which is a shame, because now the front of my shirt looks just like these jeans.
As Gene Autry once sang (while wearing boot cut jeans):
I’ve got sperms that jingle jangle jingle,
As I go riding merrily along…
Only 46 sperm…that’s a very low sperm count and I would advise seeing a doctor about that. Of course, if you lay off the weed, your sperm count might recover…but I doubt it.
These go really well with the jizzed on heart candy in Etsy’s storeque article. The jeans have slightly less ick factor.
@#47 – WTF is on the fly of those things?? I’m off to vomit now…
Come on Eileen
Not on your jeans
He does call himself Richard Olivia Butchered Designs.
Check out his “Hundred acre pants” pretty gross.
and all i hear in the back of my mind is the “jizzed in my pants” song.
A few questions came to mind:
1. What did the t-shirt look like?
2. At what point did she decide that there were enough little swimmers?
3. Why put so much effort into hand sewing and only spend a fraction of that effort into coming up with a name?
When you wear these pants you are guaranteed to have strange dogs try to hump your leg!
Why wasn’t Monica Lewinsky an option in Who Wore It Better?
Me too Cherry thats why I posted the link in #51
At least the Cum Wad jeans are much better (and cleaner) looking than the stormtrooper jizz Abercrombie ones with the green stain on the crotch. Ew.
oh i thought they were fleeing in terror over what is behind there
No! No! Go north, and swim, swim like you’ve never swam before!
Isn’t there a rule out there about NOT spilling your seed upon the ground? Or your right foot.
What bothers me the most is these aren’t even brand new jeans. I mean, if you’re gonna sell me sperm applique jeans, at least buy me a new pair!
hey! look at this!!
Check out his “Hundred acre pants” pretty gross.
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