This crafter is so close. So close. It needs only two more elements to hit the Trailer Trash Trifecta: April’s Snooki mask, and the rainbow vulva ring stitched to the right front hem.
The guy who wears these will also be the idiot whose Facebook status is something like “All women are bitches, all they want is a bad boy. But when I wear my cum wad pants to the club they all be hating.”
The 100 came from the shirt she cut up to make the pants. She just used 46 of them. The remaining 54 are either still on the remnants of the shirt or on some other project.
I’m actually glad to come here and find out that it’s sperm. I was almost afraid to click the link on my Facebook and find out why there was a huge, white LEG coming out of the fly of pants named “Cum Wad.”
Re: #9 Bunnerfly, you can’t go there without making a bukkake facinator joke! It’s just so perfect. It’s the marriage of two horrible things into something both revolting and terrifying!
#5 no, no, there were about 100 originally, but she was feeling a bit peckish…
#12 honey, talk to the camera or the nice people will throw rotten tomatoes at you
I work really hard to make my stuff. But the lesson of regretsy seems to be all I need to do is applique some sex parts and/or discharge on thrift store jeans. Sigh…
Only 46 sperm…that’s a very low sperm count and I would advise seeing a doctor about that. Of course, if you lay off the weed, your sperm count might recover…but I doubt it.
1. What did the t-shirt look like?
2. At what point did she decide that there were enough little swimmers?
3. Why put so much effort into hand sewing and only spend a fraction of that effort into coming up with a name?
February 16, 2011 at 4:35 pm
At least it’s not a blue dress.
February 16, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Nothing like a pair of jeans that feels nice and jizzed-in as soon as I try them on.
February 16, 2011 at 4:38 pm
Stupid sperm. They’re swimming the wrong way.
February 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm
I always wonder if thrift store jeans have cum stains…..
February 16, 2011 at 4:39 pm
There’s 100, and she hand-sewed 46…where did the other 54 come from?!
February 16, 2011 at 4:40 pm
I have to appreciate how the seller is so unapologetic in calling them “cum wad” pants.
February 16, 2011 at 4:41 pm
these are one of O’s FAVORITE THINGS!!!!
February 16, 2011 at 4:44 pm
So in that picture, does that count as her “O” face?
February 16, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Next up: Matching facinator.
February 16, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Damn, if only they were in black.
February 16, 2011 at 4:51 pm
Well, if parents go through any difficulty giving “The Talk” to their kids, at least they can have a visual aid…
February 16, 2011 at 4:53 pm
holy fuck I love this seller’s sense of humor!
February 16, 2011 at 4:53 pm
This crafter is so close. So close. It needs only two more elements to hit the Trailer Trash Trifecta: April’s Snooki mask, and the rainbow vulva ring stitched to the right front hem.
February 16, 2011 at 4:57 pm
@#9Bunnerfly Facinator and mustache, surely.
February 16, 2011 at 5:08 pm
This poll is nonsense. Sean Penn was robbed!
I sense the need for a Photoshop contest, however.
February 16, 2011 at 5:11 pm
These are pants you do not want to cuff.
February 16, 2011 at 5:20 pm
oh thanks for making me shoot tea out o fmy nose, LeeLoo!
February 16, 2011 at 5:25 pm
ima get your heart racing in my sperm-tight jeans, be your teenage squeam tonight.
February 16, 2011 at 5:25 pm
The guy who wears these will also be the idiot whose Facebook status is something like “All women are bitches, all they want is a bad boy. But when I wear my cum wad pants to the club they all be hating.”
February 16, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Way to advertise your low sperm count. they are rather large, so that’s some sort of compensation.
I’ll wait for the ovum applique jeans.
February 16, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Levi smutten fly jeans.
February 16, 2011 at 5:51 pm
Wilma-Perhaps they’re intended to be used by Planned Parenthood as a birth-control visual?
February 16, 2011 at 5:52 pm
So this is what you wear when you are pussyfooting around?
February 16, 2011 at 5:53 pm
#5-I was wondering about that as well. I thought it was the egg that split, not the sperm.
February 16, 2011 at 5:56 pm
The 100 came from the shirt she cut up to make the pants. She just used 46 of them. The remaining 54 are either still on the remnants of the shirt or on some other project.
February 16, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Going with Etsy historical tradition these pants are lacking a vagina appliqué on the right cuff.
February 16, 2011 at 6:21 pm
I would suggest wearing these with fuzzy Frog Slippers.
February 16, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Stay classy, with cum wad pants.
February 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Sperm (excuse me, “cum wad”), diarrhea, bad taste…all run in the jeans. (Read: “genes”)
Generally that goes over better verbally.
February 16, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Wilma, they’re swimming the wrong way because they’re on Oprah. But I have to say she wore them better *sigh*, even Oprah looks hotter than me.
February 16, 2011 at 6:30 pm
If you’re gonna wear these and put your foot in your mouth, make sure it’s the left foot.
February 16, 2011 at 6:34 pm
I’m actually glad to come here and find out that it’s sperm. I was almost afraid to click the link on my Facebook and find out why there was a huge, white LEG coming out of the fly of pants named “Cum Wad.”
February 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 16, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 16, 2011 at 7:04 pm
“And you get some sperm – and you get some sperm”
thanks Oprah !
Best when worn with a pearl necklace
February 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm
One sperm, two sperm, three sperm AH AH AH
February 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Re: #9 Bunnerfly, you can’t go there without making a bukkake facinator joke! It’s just so perfect. It’s the marriage of two horrible things into something both revolting and terrifying!
February 16, 2011 at 7:28 pm
This doesn’t need a fascinator, it needs Cameron Diaz’s upswept hairdo from There’s Something about Mary.
February 16, 2011 at 7:44 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 16, 2011 at 8:20 pm
I love how on Sean Penn the sperm look kinda faded and ragged.
February 16, 2011 at 8:38 pm
Gayle objects.
February 16, 2011 at 8:49 pm
#5 some of the other sperm were used for this fuckery, which has “nice wear and tear” including a sexy green stain on the crotch
http://www.etsy.com/listing/66208311/only-the-strong-abercrombie-pants
February 16, 2011 at 9:31 pm
My first question is “Why the fuck did you buy a SHIRT with this shit on it in the FIRST PLACE!?”
My second question is “What the frak made you think it was a GOOD IDEA to put them on PANTS?!”
I KNEW.. I JUST KNEW those “flipping the bird” shoes was going to cause problems.
February 16, 2011 at 10:03 pm
I demand real hand[job]made.
February 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm
The ultimate work of the Bajizzler!
February 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm
Damn, I can’t buy these – I dress to the left.
February 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm
I found the rest of the sperm!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/66208311/only-the-strong-abercrombie-pants
February 16, 2011 at 11:32 pm
…And I jizzed on my pants? Awkward…
February 17, 2011 at 12:56 am
you know if the seller uses the other sperm going the opposite direction on another pair of jeans, the seller can market as a his and her set of jeans
February 17, 2011 at 1:02 am
i thought the who wore it better might be spears or kardshian vs charlie sheen…
February 17, 2011 at 2:35 am
#48 yecats that sounds like a skit Andy Samberg might do on SNL. Oh right HE DID
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4
I read a post on Regretsy about Cum Wad pants and…
February 17, 2011 at 3:32 am
$100 for a pair of jizzed-on jeans? Now every mother of a teenage boy will be scouring the hamper for gold!
February 17, 2011 at 5:59 am
I work really hard to make my stuff. But the lesson of regretsy seems to be all I need to do is applique some sex parts and/or discharge on thrift store jeans. Sigh…
February 17, 2011 at 6:16 am
I want to see the back and make sure there isn’t a poop stain sewn on.
February 17, 2011 at 6:25 am
Hey, I actually like these. If I get these pants, I never have to worry about having to ejaculate on my own pants again. These are hella convenient.
February 17, 2011 at 6:38 am
He cuts other people’s designs off of teeshirts, sticks them onto store-bought jeans and denim jackets, then “copyrights” it to himself.
Bucking Frilliant. THIS is why I’m poor. Honesty is no place for Etsy.
February 17, 2011 at 7:03 am
Getting someone pregnant–Ur doing it Wrong
February 17, 2011 at 8:27 am
This made my jaw drop. Which is a shame, because now the front of my shirt looks just like these jeans.
February 17, 2011 at 8:48 am
As Gene Autry once sang (while wearing boot cut jeans):
I’ve got sperms that jingle jangle jingle,
As I go riding merrily along…
February 17, 2011 at 9:09 am
Only 46 sperm…that’s a very low sperm count and I would advise seeing a doctor about that. Of course, if you lay off the weed, your sperm count might recover…but I doubt it.
February 17, 2011 at 9:15 am
These go really well with the jizzed on heart candy in Etsy’s storeque article. The jeans have slightly less ick factor.
February 17, 2011 at 9:44 am
@#47 – WTF is on the fly of those things?? I’m off to vomit now…
February 17, 2011 at 10:04 am
Come on Eileen
Not on your jeans
February 17, 2011 at 10:25 am
He does call himself Richard Olivia Butchered Designs.
Check out his “Hundred acre pants” pretty gross.
February 17, 2011 at 11:00 am
and all i hear in the back of my mind is the “jizzed in my pants” song.
February 17, 2011 at 11:02 am
A few questions came to mind:
1. What did the t-shirt look like?
2. At what point did she decide that there were enough little swimmers?
3. Why put so much effort into hand sewing and only spend a fraction of that effort into coming up with a name?
February 17, 2011 at 1:39 pm
When you wear these pants you are guaranteed to have strange dogs try to hump your leg!
February 17, 2011 at 1:44 pm
Why wasn’t Monica Lewinsky an option in Who Wore It Better?
February 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Me too Cherry thats why I posted the link in #51
February 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm
At least the Cum Wad jeans are much better (and cleaner) looking than the stormtrooper jizz Abercrombie ones with the green stain on the crotch. Ew.
February 17, 2011 at 6:44 pm
oh i thought they were fleeing in terror over what is behind there
February 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm
No! No! Go north, and swim, swim like you’ve never swam before!
February 17, 2011 at 7:54 pm
Isn’t there a rule out there about NOT spilling your seed upon the ground? Or your right foot.
February 19, 2011 at 4:53 am
What bothers me the most is these aren’t even brand new jeans. I mean, if you’re gonna sell me sperm applique jeans, at least buy me a new pair!
March 24, 2011 at 5:05 pm
hey! look at this!!
http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/2011/03/24/i-found-a-pair-of-pants-for-you/?xrs=synd_facebook
July 1, 2011 at 12:13 am
He does call himself Richard Olivia Butchered Designs.
Check out his “Hundred acre pants” pretty gross.
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