Sheets to the Wind
What the hell kind of Girl, Interrupted bullshit is this? You could make this with a fitted sheet and a stapler.
By the way, this was in the Etsy Finds email this morning, which is their daily roundup of “handpicked” items. I think they have a chicken tied to a laptop, and every morning they drop some corn onto his keyboard. Whatever he pecks out is what they send you. And then they all sit around drinking hand made douche tea from mustache mugs and laugh their asses off.
February 10, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Come on, even frat boys know how to cover themselves up with a sheet
February 10, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Toga! Toga! Toga!
February 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm
The answer my friend,
is blowin’ in the wind.
February 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm
Gosh! I sure hope she finds the bastard who stole her clothes before the subway train gets there.
February 10, 2011 at 1:38 pm
…Lindsey Lohan?
February 10, 2011 at 1:40 pm
It’s so large because she also uses it as a blanket and as a menstrual pad.
February 10, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Looks like she’s standing outside of a high school gym or some such shit. I frequently find myself more annoyed with the bullshit “artistic” poses and setting more than the fucktastic item for sell.
February 10, 2011 at 1:41 pm
More like “the wind flows and ventilates my thighs”
February 10, 2011 at 1:43 pm
This is a pile of sheet!
February 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm
The wind is going to do a lot more than enlighten you if you’re showing that much sideboob.
February 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Project Runway called. They said, “Stay the hell AWAY!”
February 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Or just boob boob. Whatever.
February 10, 2011 at 1:46 pm
If she did her laundry, she wouldn’t have to resort to wearing the linens.
February 10, 2011 at 1:47 pm
The gown is supposed to open in the back. And where’s your ID wrist tag?
February 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm
For an extra dollar I wonder if I could get an extra staple for it to cover my tits.
February 10, 2011 at 1:49 pm
For those days when you cant decide whether to wear a Snuggie or a dress.
February 10, 2011 at 1:50 pm
This would only be cool if it was made from a vintage Star Wars sheet and worn to Comic Con. Then the side boob and “pretty girl wearing god knows what” look would fly.
February 10, 2011 at 1:50 pm
From one small chested girl to another… invest in a good push-up bra. What you’ve got right now is rosin bags hanging from your chest, darling. Staple up your sheet and save everyone the view.
February 10, 2011 at 1:51 pm
That’s perfect for sneaking out of a frat house before you go to your 8 am economics lecture.
February 10, 2011 at 1:54 pm
$99 is a steal once you consider how much work went in to make this. First the person had to decide on which color. Then they had to build a time machine, travel back into the early 1980′s, break into a cheap Key West Hotel, steal the curtains, run to Office Max, buy a stapler, and staple the shit out of it.
February 10, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Lady GaGa just called….she said she wouldn’t wear it.
February 10, 2011 at 2:04 pm
This looks a lot like those cheap rain ponchos they give you in Niagara Falls. I’m thinking they stole the pattern…
February 10, 2011 at 2:05 pm
You just KNOW this was made by some chick who got wasted and couldn’t find her clothes after the party. She pulled the dirty sheet off of the bed, made “alterations” with a stapler, and did the fashion walk of shame.
February 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Is it 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton? Do you know?
February 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm
My dear Helen Killer,
A fitted sheet would leave “poofs” in the finished fabric! Horrors!
This is a flat sheet creation if ever I saw one
February 10, 2011 at 2:31 pm
what’s wrong with her boob? it looks like she’s wearing a chux in a hospital bathroom.
February 10, 2011 at 2:48 pm
On the plus side, this thing would detract from one’s unsightly belly fat.
February 10, 2011 at 2:49 pm
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February 10, 2011 at 2:50 pm
The rest of her clothes are much the same. Loose, shapeless and pretty unflattering for a woman.
How does it stay on her shoulders?
February 10, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Fantastic if you can’t think of anything to wear to your next “Anything But Clothes” shindig! All you need to make this fabulous creation is a vinyl shower curtain and a time limit.
February 10, 2011 at 3:15 pm
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February 10, 2011 at 3:22 pm
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February 10, 2011 at 3:30 pm
You have to admit, it’s impressive how the model is able to detach her right leg like that.
February 10, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Sometimes my boyfriend makes the wind “flow” and this same thing happens to the sheets on our bed. But my heart and soul don’t feel enlightened by that. Nor does my face look so… vacant.
February 10, 2011 at 4:02 pm
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February 10, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I wondered what Lara Flynn Boyle was doing since leaving acting-she appears to now be a lady of the night.
February 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm
@ 35: Thought the same about the last photo…maybe she’s showing us how versatile this piece is. When you’re caught short, no worries!
February 10, 2011 at 4:06 pm
oops, @34 steviesegel
February 10, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Looks like a deflated Violet Beauregarde.
February 10, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Don’t amateur fashion designers do a lot of this – uh – “draping?”
I am pretty over the whole draped bed sheet look after watching some late night “Fashion Show” repeats. I guess that’s one way to get around learning pattern making. Eh, who needs shoulder seams and sleeves. Or a waist.
February 10, 2011 at 4:21 pm
If the wind blows any more, there’s gonna be a nip slip situation, and then passerby will be seriously enlightened.
February 10, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I guess if Calvin Klein got away with the random groove ply backgrounds a few decade’s back, the painted cinder block’s moment had to come.
Perfect for a grunge production of The Sound of Music.
February 10, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Also: This kind of looks like a Gandalf cocktail dress.
February 10, 2011 at 4:46 pm
For those hospital patients who want some sweet sideboob instead of a bare ass.
February 10, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Wonder what the neighbors thought when she was standing outside in front of her garage door with a nipple slip
February 10, 2011 at 4:49 pm
This isn’t even the worst one. Go look at her ‘UpCycled’ Couture Dress. I have those sheets at home! They could even be OOAK with the cigarette holes…heh
February 10, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Dear Fashionistas:
The use of skinny, naked, boob-flashing fashion models in “artistic” poses does NOT distract the viewer from the crappiness of a poorly designed piece.
Signed, A Friend
February 10, 2011 at 5:15 pm
For those who desire a portable “dutch oven”.
February 10, 2011 at 5:39 pm
The sheet’s gonna hit the fan when she sees all these comments.
Actually, if you took a fan to it, it might look better.
February 10, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Poor girl would be showing off the good china if she lifts her arms too high.
February 10, 2011 at 6:06 pm
tell me what “wind” are they referring to that enlightens them??
February 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm
So this is one of those photos that got out of the Statue of Liberty in her shameless college years of frat parties. This was taken after she did the “walk of shame” back to the sorority house from whence she came…
February 10, 2011 at 6:40 pm
So that color “Turqoise” is not available huh. So why attempt to spell Turqoise then fail. One Derp for the listing, a fail for the crafting – if it was labeled steampunk she would have hit the Trifecta!!!
February 10, 2011 at 6:40 pm
#42-Thank you ever so much. Now I’ve got ‘How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?” stuck in my head and am imagining Julie Andrews wrapped in a blue and white gingham bedsheet.
February 10, 2011 at 7:22 pm
To think I wasted all that time learning how to make a pattern when all I had to do was staple a bedsheet from the thrift store together, give it some new-agey moniker, and put it on Etsy. Darn it all!
February 10, 2011 at 7:35 pm
It’s a couture snuggie.
February 10, 2011 at 8:43 pm
She looks like a chewed-up piece of Winterfresh gum.
February 10, 2011 at 9:19 pm
@#53 You’re welcome. But is it the Nine Inch Nails cover version?
I seem to remember Julie Andrews was a fine figure of a woman. Probably pushing those sheets out in more interesting ways.
February 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm
she has just taken some pills from a paper cup and is now on her way to underwater basket weaving.
February 10, 2011 at 9:39 pm
“Hand Dyed to any color you want”
Make mine the color of my skin. I want to go to Dragon*Con as a deflated Jabba the Hut.
February 10, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Somebody page the anesthesiologist. The patient woke up, wrapped the surgical drape around herself, and wandered out of the OR, still in a haze of whatever didn’t quite knock her out. She’s out in the hall, smoking an imaginary cigarette.
Tell him to bring the strong stuff this time.If the surgeon hadn’t still been scrubbing, this would have been one hell of a malpractice suit.
February 10, 2011 at 10:33 pm
I’m getting quite the Bjork vibe from this model’s face – so the whackadoo dress is making some sense to me brain.
February 11, 2011 at 2:02 am
I definitely got a bigger kick from the “…drinking vagina douche tea from a mustache mug” than the dress. I can SO see it:)
February 11, 2011 at 3:57 am
If you were an amnesiac patient on the run, you’d wear a shower curtain too.
February 11, 2011 at 4:55 am
It looks like a Snuggie for street walkers.
February 11, 2011 at 5:25 am
The model in this one is awesome. I’m interpreting that face as saying, “Don’t f*cking judge me, I’ve got rent to pay and this knit wit of a designer paid me good money to wear this ridiculously ugly towel dress.”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/32584567/earth-tube-dress-in-yellow-vintage
February 11, 2011 at 5:37 am
@#65 That’s not a towel. It’s a pillowcase.
February 11, 2011 at 5:56 am
I just lost 30 pounds and was lamenting the reduction of my own boobs, but now I see that they’re model-perfect, and I kind of feel better.
February 11, 2011 at 6:38 am
It’s called “Heart and Soul” because wearing it breaks your Heart, crushes your Soul, and proves without a doubt that Brain is long gone.
February 11, 2011 at 7:44 am
http://www.etsy.com/listing/32584567/earth-tube-dress-in-yellow-vintage I found the Pillowcase that came with this “Bed-in-a-bag” set – looking for the bed skirt now….
February 11, 2011 at 8:07 am
At the job I had before this one, a coworker of mine came to work one day in what appeared to be several yards of gauze fabric wrapped around her. We were getting ready for the day and I commented on her unusual dress. She replied “I didn’t know what to wear this morning so I pulled some fabric out of my sewing supplies and pinned it on. I think it looks cute.”
I somehow managed to hold my tongue. Even though she was wearing several yards of fabric wrapped around her mummy style. Several yards of GAUZE fabric, something I had hoped had been left behind in the 70′s. I was so horrified by it all I just nodded mutely. Fucking hipsters.
I had forgotten about that debacle until this post. I may have to go out on my day off this weekend and buy a twinset to get over the trauma.
February 11, 2011 at 9:50 am
This dress is intended for pajama parties where the invitation would request “BRING YOUR OWN BED LINEN”
February 11, 2011 at 9:56 am
My fav part is the phantom cigarette, because you dont want to be Dick VanDyke…
February 11, 2011 at 10:20 am
I guess it can be convenient if you ever need something to blow your nose with.
February 11, 2011 at 10:41 am
‘I said STAND STILL, damn it! This car cover isn’t going to model itself, you know!’
February 11, 2011 at 12:16 pm
“Whatever he pecks out is what they send you. And then they all sit around drinking hand made douche tea from mustache mugs and laugh their asses off.”
Or…they actually think its attractive.
Which scenerio is worse?
ps. It looks like something slutty statue of liberty would wear.
February 11, 2011 at 12:56 pm
What the fashionable sorority sister is wearing for her walk of shame!
February 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm
There’s a shorter version with green and brown stripes and an asymmetrical hem for only $35.
SOLD.
February 11, 2011 at 6:22 pm
since everyone else has already commented on the obvious, I’ll just point out the horrible puckering at the seams.
$99 for an ill conceived, badly assembled, tit-showing mess. I love Etsy.
February 11, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Jesus fucking shit, she’s sold FIVE of these!
February 11, 2011 at 10:47 pm
Do you have a sheet?
Go drape it over yourself.
I just saved you $99!
February 12, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Hmm…I just thought of this, but for $99 do we get the sheet with the model in it?
February 12, 2011 at 8:48 pm
“You could make this with a fitted sheet and a stapler.”
Uh, no, you can’t make it that way. If you DO make it that way, that’s copyright infringement. And I know, cause my cousin is a lawyer.
February 14, 2011 at 8:03 am
Really? she paid extra to be featured? that is just bananas! I am going to make the biggest pile of junk and feature that, it will sell by the many of 4s
July 28, 2011 at 1:17 pm
The wind flows and enlightens my heart and soul
…also my bajingo.
I wish I’d worn underwear.