Maria looks a little like Marty Feldman in this rendering. And this cannot be the first time Arnold’s name has been used in the same sentence as “horses” and “backside.”
This is pretty amazing in a lot of awful ways! But ya gotta admit, this probably isn’t the most cheesy “artifact” that Arnie has his image on. Conan anyone?
I think I saw this on a recent episode of “Antiques Roadshow”. The appraiser explained that it wasn’t worth a pile dried dogshit and then smashed over the woman’s head and called security.
Oh, to be famous. Between the paparazzi, the Scientologists, and the weirdos who want to represent your children as horses on a vase, I’d rather be broke and annonymous.
Is Eastern Europe a country now? I’d really like to narrow that bit down so I can plan a trip and to have my children symbolically represented as elephants marching through a sandy desert.
Can I have one made with Arnold wearing a tunic as Jesus and Maria Shriver as Mary Magdalen…and maybe instead of horses, pictures of Danny DeVito as their children?
Oh, in the background, I’ll need a picture of Lady Gaga eating a unicorn.
Actually…little known fact…this item is from the Gubenator’s Mansion and the sale will be used to cover the State Budget Deficit
It looks like proud Mama Maria is sending her little Hansel out tame the wild horses of the steppes–or bring their heads back to make into a lovely Bavarian goulash. Heavy on the ghoul.
“Be strong, Hansel. Strong like bull(shit).”
I always wonder which photographer gets screwed out of their royalties when this sort of thing happens. Given that this painting was done from a specific photograph, someone is owed royalties.
But then again, this vase reeks of the essence of AWESOME!
Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
February 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I have a feeling that if someone were to x-ray this vase, they would find that there are two other Cossack faces underneath Arnold and Maria. And when the identities of those 2 are revealed, the 4 horses on the back would then make perfect sense.
Possibly a painting of Mr. and Mrs. Attila the Hun?
I’m thinking “why the horses” is because either 1 – They figured, “Hey, I’m good at horses. The kids can be horses.” or 2 – The horses were already on the vase, and they just added Schwarzenshriver after they brought it home from goodwill.
Now he’s the Vasinator?
Eww – grossed myself out – sounds like a marital aid.
Actually, it really seems to me that this is actually a semi-custom piece – the cossack outfits, the horses, etc. are standard and all you have to do is pick your own heads (hence the stretch of horses = kids). so that got me to thinking – what other famous couples would look great as handpainted cossacks? How about….
Donny and Marie
Sonny and Cher
F. Scott and Zelda
Beavis and Butthead
Fred and Wilma
Berlusconi and random 16-year-old
DeKlerk and Mandela
Frost and Nixon
McCain and Palin
April Winchell and Judge Judy
Maybe Arnie can use it as an Urn for his ashes and Maria can get “I’ll be back” written on it somewhere.
Why oh why did they include the accidental-bad-angle-photo-double-chin?
The two figures are serene, ideally represented; clearly this is a Romantic perspective on a man who is not a Cossack, but a bodybuilding Austrian immigrant turned governor. But he is a Cossack in spirit.
We must also observe the clever role reversal at play here. Originally, Schwarzenegger’s role in California was that of a death-dealer, or “Terminator” if you will. Here he is surrounded by fertile fields, a fertile woman, and many fertile horses. From the fiery kiln of seeming death, we have uncovered in fine porcelain a virile God of the Harvest.
The horses present another matter, a reference perhaps to the stallions of Hans Baldung. The dark horses fight, or perhaps lick, each other as the white horses prance innocently behind. As they are all brothers and sisters descended from the Fertility God, whose sword remains ensheathed, the wase can clearly be interpreted as a loving, lascivious trumpeter of only the most tender gestures of incest.
Spit take! The boyfriend and I saw this at the estate liquidation warehouse where we bought our couch. It could not have been more than $50, almost nothing in the place was. The guy who ran the place said the artist was a Russian immigrant who was quite taken with the governor.
Clearly, it was just a plain wild horse vase and the other side was probably festooned with fighting Natives or Buffalo, but the painter screwed up and decided to cover her/his mistake with Arnold & Maria. Trust me. I’ve been painting vases for 12 yrs and I’m always covering my mistakes with clouds. Or naked dwarves.
February 9, 2011 at 10:57 am
If I could I’d draw you one myself.
February 9, 2011 at 10:59 am
So… Schwarzenegger she can spell, but Shriver is just too much to get right?
February 9, 2011 at 11:00 am
Why would someone get rid of this?!?!?!
February 9, 2011 at 11:01 am
Maria looks a little like Marty Feldman in this rendering. And this cannot be the first time Arnold’s name has been used in the same sentence as “horses” and “backside.”
February 9, 2011 at 11:02 am
@ Whisperia – Or she’s trying to indicate she thinks Maria Shriver is a frigid bi.. Nahhh, couldn’t be!
February 9, 2011 at 11:03 am
This is pretty amazing in a lot of awful ways! But ya gotta admit, this probably isn’t the most cheesy “artifact” that Arnie has his image on. Conan anyone?
February 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
I’m having trouble understanding why the kids are represented symbolically as horses.
February 9, 2011 at 11:05 am
I think I saw this on a recent episode of “Antiques Roadshow”. The appraiser explained that it wasn’t worth a pile dried dogshit and then smashed over the woman’s head and called security.
February 9, 2011 at 11:07 am
@#6: Or why one of them is trying to either kill or make out with another one.
February 9, 2011 at 11:08 am
Oh, to be famous. Between the paparazzi, the Scientologists, and the weirdos who want to represent your children as horses on a vase, I’d rather be broke and annonymous.
February 9, 2011 at 11:09 am
Is Eastern Europe a country now? I’d really like to narrow that bit down so I can plan a trip and to have my children symbolically represented as elephants marching through a sandy desert.
February 9, 2011 at 11:12 am
Does this come in a Russian Nesting Doll version?
February 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
A Wase? Cossak clothing? Symbolic horse children? I wonder if the seller will give me some of what she’s smoking.
February 9, 2011 at 11:14 am
Holy crap, I just noticed it was 1 Meter tall!
Please, April, tell us you are not planning to have your ashes stored in there at some future date!
February 9, 2011 at 11:15 am
I want one with Arnold and Red Sojna.
February 9, 2011 at 11:16 am
“Maria… I want a (vase)ctomy.”
February 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
Maria looks vaguely demonic. Or maybe she’s just stunned by the size of Arnold’s sword.
February 9, 2011 at 11:17 am
What do you put in a Wase, anyway?
Woses – HK
February 9, 2011 at 11:20 am
Wotv: Vater.
February 9, 2011 at 11:21 am
What do you do with it? My first thought was some very special kind of urn for ashes. Or an umbrella stand.
February 9, 2011 at 11:21 am
I meant… Lord Kalindor and Red Sojna
http://application.denofgeek.com/pics/film/list/schwarzenegger/06.jpg
February 9, 2011 at 11:22 am
Can I have one made with Arnold wearing a tunic as Jesus and Maria Shriver as Mary Magdalen…and maybe instead of horses, pictures of Danny DeVito as their children?
Oh, in the background, I’ll need a picture of Lady Gaga eating a unicorn.
Actually…little known fact…this item is from the Gubenator’s Mansion and the sale will be used to cover the State Budget Deficit
February 9, 2011 at 11:29 am
HK- Maybe you can create a craigslist/ etsy wedding registry. Regretigistry?
February 9, 2011 at 11:29 am
I’d buy if it had sound effects.
Arnold looks like he wants to sing that the hills are alive with the Sound of Music.
March 16, 2011 at 1:25 am
sound effects of the childhorses frolicking coming out of the vase every time you go past? i would buy it if it had that.
February 9, 2011 at 11:41 am
p-kitty could it be a sign of the Apocalypse. Wouldn’t be AWESOME if the painting on the vase were in 3D
February 9, 2011 at 11:42 am
Listen, we’ve all seen Arnold’s sword & I think we can all agree that is not an accurate representation.
February 9, 2011 at 11:49 am
I’m glad thats a real item. I thought I had overdone the oxy and cough syrup again.
February 9, 2011 at 11:54 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 9, 2011 at 11:56 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 9, 2011 at 11:56 am
nvm…i’m stupid
February 9, 2011 at 12:07 pm
I always wonder which photographer gets screwed out of their royalties when this sort of thing happens. Given that this painting was done from a specific photograph, someone is owed royalties.
But then again, this vase reeks of the essence of AWESOME!
February 9, 2011 at 12:09 pm
I’d buy it just to smash it.
February 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm
@32, hollywood, better yet may be to buy it to make reproductions for carnival baseball toss games. Then EVERYONE gets to smash it.
February 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm
Kids -> horses ? Why ? Now my brain hurts…
February 9, 2011 at 12:31 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 9, 2011 at 12:42 pm
I have a feeling that if someone were to x-ray this vase, they would find that there are two other Cossack faces underneath Arnold and Maria. And when the identities of those 2 are revealed, the 4 horses on the back would then make perfect sense.
Possibly a painting of Mr. and Mrs. Attila the Hun?
February 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm
Maria looks a bit like Emperor Palpatine, but I can’t imagine that anyone from CA wouldn’t covet this Governor Schwarzenegger commemorative wase
February 9, 2011 at 1:13 pm
My, this brings back some serious Ukrainian memories… Why, oh, why did they forget to include the traditional cossack hairdo (see here http://ukraineplaces.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/cossack_big.jpg).
It would look STUNNING on both Arnold and Maria!
February 9, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Obviously, the closing parenthesis (above) is not a part of the image URL.
February 9, 2011 at 2:01 pm
I’m thinking “why the horses” is because either 1 – They figured, “Hey, I’m good at horses. The kids can be horses.” or 2 – The horses were already on the vase, and they just added Schwarzenshriver after they brought it home from goodwill.
February 9, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Hmmm…the depiction doesn’t show, but I wonder what kind of SHOES they’re wearing?!?
February 9, 2011 at 2:16 pm
I thought the brown horses were just one horse with two heads.
Still hilarious when I realized that wasn’t the case at all.
February 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Now he’s the Vasinator?
Eww – grossed myself out – sounds like a marital aid.
Actually, it really seems to me that this is actually a semi-custom piece – the cossack outfits, the horses, etc. are standard and all you have to do is pick your own heads (hence the stretch of horses = kids). so that got me to thinking – what other famous couples would look great as handpainted cossacks? How about….
Donny and Marie
Sonny and Cher
F. Scott and Zelda
Beavis and Butthead
Fred and Wilma
Berlusconi and random 16-year-old
DeKlerk and Mandela
Frost and Nixon
McCain and Palin
April Winchell and Judge Judy
February 9, 2011 at 2:48 pm
Arnold is Austrian… Shouldn’t they be wearing rompers made out of old curtains?
Oh, wrong Maria. Sorry…
February 9, 2011 at 2:59 pm
This is awesome. It really is. Silly, but awesome.
(What do they put in the Cossack water, to produce children horses?)
February 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm
Is anyone else dying to know who commissioned this, or is it just me?
February 9, 2011 at 3:33 pm
#43 Monkey33
You left off some other possibilities:
Kirk and Spock
Sigfried and Roy
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans (riffing on the horses)
Batman and Robin
Lucy and Ricky
February 9, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Hey, April/Helen – We haven’t had a PhotoShop Context in AGES….
February 9, 2011 at 3:34 pm
ConTEST Contest, dammit. Contest!
February 9, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Maybe Arnie can use it as an Urn for his ashes and Maria can get “I’ll be back” written on it somewhere.
Why oh why did they include the accidental-bad-angle-photo-double-chin?
February 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm
@33BillsBayou: You win
February 9, 2011 at 4:23 pm
2 brown horses, and 2 white ones…did Maria cheat on Arnie?
February 9, 2011 at 4:29 pm
I often symbolically represent things with my backside.
February 9, 2011 at 4:34 pm
So we all want to know; does HK have a shrine to Arnie, which is crying out for this relic?
February 9, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Wery, wery nice.
February 9, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Sacramento: keeping it classy. (This almost makes me homesick. Not quite, but almost.)
Actually, now that Ahnuld is no longer governor, do you think they might just be clearing out their family collection post-move? AMAZING.
February 9, 2011 at 6:02 pm
How much to get it with just the horses? I wouldn’t want that horses patootie on my wase after his anti-ferret stand: http://www.ferretsanon.com/CLIFFNotes/Vol5No42.html
February 9, 2011 at 7:00 pm
*singing*
How do you solve a problem like Mariiiiiaaaa?
How do you put an Arnold on a waaaaaase?
Where do you fit the children in the piiiicture?
And now I have The Sound of Music as an earworm. The whole thing. Dammit.
February 9, 2011 at 7:28 pm
And on the first day, God made the Arnie & Maria vase, and saw that it was good.
February 9, 2011 at 8:11 pm
The two figures are serene, ideally represented; clearly this is a Romantic perspective on a man who is not a Cossack, but a bodybuilding Austrian immigrant turned governor. But he is a Cossack in spirit.
We must also observe the clever role reversal at play here. Originally, Schwarzenegger’s role in California was that of a death-dealer, or “Terminator” if you will. Here he is surrounded by fertile fields, a fertile woman, and many fertile horses. From the fiery kiln of seeming death, we have uncovered in fine porcelain a virile God of the Harvest.
The horses present another matter, a reference perhaps to the stallions of Hans Baldung. The dark horses fight, or perhaps lick, each other as the white horses prance innocently behind. As they are all brothers and sisters descended from the Fertility God, whose sword remains ensheathed, the wase can clearly be interpreted as a loving, lascivious trumpeter of only the most tender gestures of incest.
February 9, 2011 at 8:55 pm
@ #53 Nico, I laughed so hard at your comment that I disturbed my dog, causing her to leave the room.
February 9, 2011 at 10:37 pm
#43 monkey, April with Judge Judy would be nice, but I think she might like one with her & David Caruso.
February 9, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Spit take! The boyfriend and I saw this at the estate liquidation warehouse where we bought our couch. It could not have been more than $50, almost nothing in the place was. The guy who ran the place said the artist was a Russian immigrant who was quite taken with the governor.
February 10, 2011 at 1:31 am
Can I get the same, but with the cast of Miami Vice fighting Daleks?
February 10, 2011 at 3:10 am
It looks like one brown horse is swooning as the other attempts to eat it’s face. Is that supposed to be symbolic too?
February 10, 2011 at 3:21 am
Maria’s face upon learning family is immemorialized on this vase: http://media.photobucket.com/image/maria%20shriver/riverclear2day/maria-shriver-souls-i-need-souls.jpg?o=92
February 10, 2011 at 10:00 am
Holy shit – this is freakin’ awesome!
February 10, 2011 at 10:55 am
@65 yecats
The horse’s swooning submission could be interpreted as homoeroticism, or voluntary cannibalism. Or maybe it’s just retarded.
February 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm
P-Kitty:
Clearly, it was just a plain wild horse vase and the other side was probably festooned with fighting Natives or Buffalo, but the painter screwed up and decided to cover her/his mistake with Arnold & Maria. Trust me. I’ve been painting vases for 12 yrs and I’m always covering my mistakes with clouds. Or naked dwarves.
February 10, 2011 at 2:34 pm
I have a Color Me Arnold coloring book. I work a boring desk job at a university and I color Arnold every day at work.
February 10, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Perfect for the mysterious political statement collection. Can sit adjacent to the Eva Peron butt plug.
February 11, 2011 at 4:01 am
So where are they? All I can find is the vase with Lori Loughlin and Regis Philbin.
February 11, 2011 at 1:29 pm
Why does this seem like it should be a prime container for cremated remains?
February 12, 2011 at 2:29 am
Before my brain kicked in I thought that said Terri Schiavo & Arnold Schwarzenegger. Taking bets on when THAT shows up on etsy.
February 13, 2011 at 3:18 pm
After that analysis, I’ve decided I’m using this and all other relevant Regretsy material for my art history thesis, “The Emergence of Fuckery”
May 25, 2011 at 12:42 am
Does this come with a fifth illegitimate horse?