196

Who Wants to Lick the Poon? – NSFW

Just what it sounds like. A $250 cake that looks like snatch and tastes like ass.

196 comments on Who Wants to Lick the Poon? – NSFW

  1. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    I only want it if it’s got a baby’s head crowning.

    At least it’s shaved…

    Thumb up Thumb down +356

  2. Craft Addict
    February 3, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Because vegans = pussies?

    Thumb up Thumb down +246

  3. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Oh, and the husband loves this cake.

    I can see this at a party. Instead of fighting over who gets the icing roses, people fight over who gets the clit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +427

  4. ZeeNokturnL
    February 3, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Vulva cake – the ultimate finger food.

    Thumb up Thumb down +754

  5. Craft Addict
    February 3, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -168

  6. CraftyKittie
    February 3, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    Can I order it with shredded coconut hair? I like my vegan vulvas looking “natural.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +406

  7. kmcwil01
    February 3, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    Don’t lie, that’s not vegan. I can totally see the beef curtains.

    Thumb up Thumb down +628

  8. EmKay73
    February 3, 2011 at 4:37 pm

    They deliver to my ‘hood!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +195

  9. tinkerjenn
    February 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    As repellent as this is to me, I have to admit the fondant work is actually very well done (except for the excess in the top of the pic).

    Thumb up Thumb down +200

  10. PaganChick
    February 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -132

  11. totalfrog
    February 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    The Sandra Lee version – Simply buy a pocket pussy from your local adult store, stick on top of store bought cake and voila your semi home made vulva cake….

    Thumb up Thumb down +322

  12. knittygritty
    February 3, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -98

  13. ZeeNokturnL
    February 3, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    I wonder if she lets her kids lick the beaters …

    Thumb up Thumb down +102

  14. kayawkay
    February 3, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    If I’m eating a vagina cake, I want it to look like mine. I don’t want it if she’s not offering to shape it from one of the many pictures I have.

    Thumb up Thumb down +382

  15. knittygritty
    February 3, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    I’d call this ballsy, but…well.

    Thumb up Thumb down +172

  16. Kitten Tears
    February 3, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Finally something to match my fleshlight candelabra.

    Thumb up Thumb down +145

  17. whatagoodboy
    February 3, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    So, I’m a big ‘mo, but I can’t stop staring at this cake. It’s…oddly beautiful. (I’m preeeettty sure I wouldn’t be able to eat a piece of it though. Not because I’m scared of vagina, but because when you stare long enough–it starts to look like a hairless rat cake. Staring for a LONG time is key. Vagina cake? Probably sorta yummy. Hairless rat cake? Not so much.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +116

  18. iunifera
    February 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -49

  19. saridout
    February 3, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -32

  20. JTContinental
    February 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    I just instantly became super-gay and a mad carnivore.

    Thumb up Thumb down +142

  21. Badger
    February 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    I don’t know whether to be horrified or amuse, so I’ll settle for ‘Why the flying fuck would you want to do that?!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  22. GoGoMama
    February 3, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Just in time for National Porn Sunday!

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  23. yumi
    February 3, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Cream filling?

    Thumb up Thumb down +223

  24. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    February 3, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    Fantastic work on the cake, but I’m not sure there is much call for vegan pussy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +77

  25. humalong
    February 3, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    If I order a bigger one, will it come with a taint?

    Thumb up Thumb down +111

  26. yecats
    February 3, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    I’m just concerned about the abnormal growth in the top left hand corner. Should get that looked at.

    Thumb up Thumb down +65

  27. ZoeysDinnerParty
    February 3, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    I wonder if they’d add red rasberry filling to it. Then it’d be another wonderful, child-scaring addition to those ‘first period parties’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +424

    • ConsumingShadows
      April 5, 2012 at 1:48 pm

      Haha, OMG, I never thought about someone throwing a party like that, but that would be freakin HILARIOUS! That almost makes me want to have a kid just to do that to her, b/c seriously, isn’t the best part of parenting doing all those embarrassing things to your kids just to laugh your ass off?

      Thumb up Thumb down -1

  28. pplrdum
    February 3, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    how many hoo-ha’s did she have to stare at to “sculpt” this?

    God, I hope she doesn’t use a live model during creation…

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  29. phrekkleface
    February 3, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    Note to self: Checking Regretsy while the 13 year old son is in the room may result in an extra deposit into his future therapy fund.
    That much being said, I might order one of these for his next birthday, because I’m sure it’s the only way I’ll ever see that particular facial expression again.

    Thumb up Thumb down +551

  30. wtf indeed
    February 3, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    I’m gonna need a really big candle for that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +227

  31. amyruthanne
    February 3, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    There’s a joke in there somewhere about icing flowers and deflowering the cake…

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  32. twatsupcock
    February 3, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    #28 wtf indeed, a candle in the form of a penis would be perfect, would it not??? No??? well, okay. . .Just think of the visual for a moment. . . nevermind. . .

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  33. sheltiepitbullfun
    February 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    Just in time for Valentine’s day!

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  34. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    Am I going to see this on CakeWrecks next week?

    Thumb up Thumb down +129

  35. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    #30 a penis candle sticking out of the vulva cake… how many “Blow out the candle” or “flaming cock” jokes would that engender?

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  36. monkey33
    February 3, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Why do have specify the color of the cake batter?
    From what I’ve heard it’s all pink inside.

    Thumb up Thumb down +113

  37. Chrisnyc1213
    February 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    Finally – something to get me off carbs forever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  38. hollywood
    February 3, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Is there no privacy anywhere ?!?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. whaapplewha
    February 3, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    This has “American Pie knockoff” written all over it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  40. Golgathoth
    February 3, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -29

  41. nylasor
    February 3, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    Red Velvet Cake? Ohhhhhhhhhhh, vulva cake. I see. None for me, thanks. You know what they say; a moment on the LIPS, a lifetime on the hips!

    Thumb up Thumb down +92

  42. whimsiclesthenics
    February 3, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    I never even considered a penis-shaped candle. I went straight to white candle, red tip, really long wick.

    Thumb up Thumb down +130

  43. invaderhorizongreen
    February 3, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -32

  44. trousers rolled
    February 3, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    For $250 I want more vulva.

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  45. phrekkleface
    February 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Do the addition of episiotomy scars cost extra?

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  46. unseeliepixie
    February 3, 2011 at 5:58 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -27

  47. whimsiclesthenics
    February 3, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    You know what would be great? If somebody started making polymer clay birthday cake pendants, customized to look like YOUR birthday cake, and then someone contacted that person to make a pendant of this birthday cake, and then after she made it, the lady who sells the vulva pendants filed some kind of intellectual property lawsuit against the cake pendant lady.

    Thumb up Thumb down +96

  48. keysburg
    February 3, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    We always had to have vegan cake at my last workplace because my supervisor was “allergic” to milk products. Actually, she was just lactose intolerant and instead of taking some lactaid and sucking it up or not eating cake she upgraded herself to allergic and made us all suffer.

    I’m so sorry I didn’t know about this in time to order it for a baby shower back there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  49. babazoobee
    February 3, 2011 at 6:20 pm

    OMG i have tears, and have woken both children, and confused my wife, from laughing so hard.

    thank you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +80

  50. KibblesNBits
    February 3, 2011 at 6:23 pm

    Vegan? It smells like fish but tastes like chicken. (I couldn’t resist a La Bamba reference. Commence with the thumbs down in 3….2….1….)

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  51. rawrthedinosaur
    February 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Can I get one with raspberry filling oozing out of it so I can have a fitting dessert for my super-bitchin period parties?

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  52. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    #48 Keysburg, is Lactaid the drink one drinks to become a lactard?

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  53. thiswasnotaboatingsteampunk!
    February 3, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -30

  54. magnusjournals
    February 3, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    I have one question; do they take mother’s day pre-orders?

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  55. Sexecutioner
    February 3, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    If there was a fetus made of big league chew with a twizzler umbilical cord inside of it, I would have just got icing all over the place

    Thumb up Thumb down +54

  56. tiny giraffe
    February 3, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    I’d feel kinda like Hannibal Lecter or Buffalo Bill cutting into that. “It rubs the frosting on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +103

  57. ZeeNokturnL
    February 3, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    I did buy one of these. Unfortunately, a bunch of African women showed up to protest when I attempted to cut the cake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  58. gwhizzy
    February 3, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    What color of “skin” is that? I wonder if she can work up a snookie-eque orange one for MTV. And there is absolutely no good or sane reason for me wondering that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  59. Jenn_the_hen
    February 3, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    I tried to order a dick cake but they said it’s impossible to make one of those without any meat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  60. HelenaHandbasket
    February 3, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    Finally a meeting place where Team Pie and Team Cake can be equals.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  61. knittin-kitten
    February 3, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Gives new meaning to having your cake and eating it too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  62. Rad Bromance
    February 3, 2011 at 7:27 pm

    Rule 34 truly has no exceptions.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  63. faunablues
    February 3, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    As a vegan, I’m not sure if I should be thrilled or terrified that I can partake in this poon cake.
    Terrified.

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  64. carpwoman
    February 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -22

  65. Holden Back
    February 3, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Picture your host poised over the cake with large knife: “So who wants the first piece?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  66. msannomalley
    February 3, 2011 at 8:14 pm

    If you can’t call those beef curtains because it’s a vegan cooter, then what do you call them? Tofurkey curtains?

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  67. Gojira
    February 3, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -16

  68. ZeeNokturnL
    February 3, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    @ #65 – Vegan Venetians.

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  69. Clare
    February 3, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    I could totally make and sell these. The cat hairs I’d otherwise worry about having land on my products would actually enhance these. Also, my cats are black and white so I could do age specific ones.

    I feel bad for the Etsy seller that spins my cat hair into yarn for my knitted penis warmers, but this looks more profitable.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  70. glitterherpes
    February 3, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    This is giving me the heebie jeebies. If I’m going to eat a vulva cake, I REALLY don’t want it looking like an 11 year old. That’s basically child porn right there.
    Thankfully, I guess I can’t eat it anyway… I’m vegan, but I subscribe to the theory “If it’s ever had lips I won’t eat it.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +115

  71. prynsesscraftsy
    February 3, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    @Hollywood: No…no, there is not.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  72. whaapplewha
    February 3, 2011 at 9:06 pm

    I’m creeped out by the extra piece of vagina fondant in the upper left hand corner of the picture. Maybe that’s for the optional vaginal rejuvenation cake?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  73. butts lol
    February 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -13

  74. Nico
    February 3, 2011 at 10:05 pm

    A perfect, if not expensive, opportunity to make “who ate all the pussy?” jokes at your next birthday party.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  75. pond
    February 3, 2011 at 10:35 pm

    This would be wonderful at a beaver costume party…

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  76. Stretch65 was on the 01/26 episode of Criminal Minds
    February 3, 2011 at 10:50 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -15

  77. Lumptious
    February 3, 2011 at 11:19 pm

    Wow, it’s not every day I get my regretsy and cakewrecks fix in one sitting!

    @#34: It better damn well be on cakewrecks >C

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  78. evacooper
    February 4, 2011 at 1:07 am

    that doesn’t look very vegan to me…

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  79. purple_peacock
    February 4, 2011 at 1:49 am

    Just imagine this on the table when you invite the inlaws for the first time…

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  80. KatP
    February 4, 2011 at 3:50 am

    Stick a plastic baby in there and this would make a great king cake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  81. Kitten Tears
    February 4, 2011 at 5:20 am

    Well it has one thing going for it, no hair in it like that other marshmellow/mashed tarter monstrosity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  82. Phildo
    February 4, 2011 at 5:21 am

    Huh. So that’s what one of those would look like. I’d always wondered, y’know? ‘What would a vegan vulva cake look like?’ One more mystery laid to rest.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  83. CrimsonHoohah
    February 4, 2011 at 6:16 am

    Only chocolate or vanilla huh? What about strawberry angel food? Then its spongy soft and pink on the inside, and dont forget less calories! If its got to be vegan, you might as well watch your waistline too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  84. SinisterTwist
    February 4, 2011 at 6:21 am

    So I’m guessing that if they do a remake of American Pie, they’ll use this cake?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  85. Maquievelle
    February 4, 2011 at 7:20 am

    Hmm… as I’m not a vegan, can you get me a vagina dentata?
    http://www.regretsy.com/2007/10/31/trick-or-treat-nsfw/
    hehehe

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  86. Stretch65 was on the 01/26 episode of Criminal Minds
    February 4, 2011 at 7:47 am

    Maybe I’ve been watching too much American Idol but that looks just like Steven Tyler!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  87. disneypea
    February 4, 2011 at 8:19 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -23

  88. terriwells
    February 4, 2011 at 8:36 am

    The cake is a work of art…but not nearly as artistic as the comments it’s getting here. I have a sweetie with a birthday in two months; he NEEDS to see this cake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  89. Bratfink
    February 4, 2011 at 9:37 am

    I am speechless.

    My male roomie, on the other hand, likes it. He likes it a LOT.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  90. Dynomoose
    February 4, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Red Velvet!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  91. terriwells
    February 4, 2011 at 10:49 am

    I wonder if she’d be willing to make it blue or green…you know, for those Star Trek fans that are into Andorians or Orion slave girls. Not that I’d know anyone like that; just curious.

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  92. TooManyCookbooks
    February 4, 2011 at 11:07 am

    Add candles for the perfect centerpiece for any S&M party!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  93. Nahhh
    February 4, 2011 at 11:55 am

    THERE’S the yoni I thought I saw the title to in my previous post! I bet the next post I’m catching up on has the nail tip. (Just insomnia. I’ll be OK.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  94. BillsBayou
    February 4, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    “Who Wants to Lick the Poon?” Possibly the best title on Regretsy EVER.

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  95. BillsBayou
    February 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm

    I don’t see a fondant hymen. I don’t want a used cake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +151

  96. razberries
    February 4, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    with that much fondant on top, it probably *does* taste like ass, for real. isn’t fondant just decorative, and tasteless?
    much like this cake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  97. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 12:09 pm

    Also, it needs to be pointed out how ingeniously versatile this cake is. Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Menses Day (I believe there are still coordinating pinatas?), Sex in the City screenings, and PTA Meetings.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  98. Percocet Princess
    February 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -186

  99. anaceofkidneys
    February 4, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Gaaaah….why does vegan stuff always have to be aggressively hypersexual and vice versa? Give up one earthly delight and you automatically have to overdose on another one, I guess.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  100. PockyNightmare
    February 4, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  101. moi
    February 4, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    I’m scared of this.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  102. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    #98, before we talk anymore about “putting down women”, I’m gonna need you to put down that Percocet.

    Let’s ask ourselves: is it more hateful to women to reject a NATURAL, GROWN-UP vagina with hair lining it, or a smooth and altered one, nicks and razor burns optional?

    Choice is great, and I respect your right to it. That’s diversity of preference. But saying that people who find a vagina in an unnatural (unless you ARE 7 years old) state unappealing are “putting women down” is just…silly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +138

  103. Percocet Princess
    February 4, 2011 at 5:11 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -120

  104. Percocet Princess
    February 4, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -115

  105. Percocet Princess
    February 4, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -150

  106. unseeliepixie
    February 4, 2011 at 5:27 pm

    #104 Percocet Princess: That’s all well and good, unless, like me, you look like a seven year old girl. And I’m 35.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  107. Bronc Drywall
    February 4, 2011 at 5:51 pm

    @Percocet Princess-
    1. You have the word “Princess” in your screen name, yet still wish to be taken seriously? It’s possible, but you’ve got a lot of ground to make up.

    2. Some people –myself, for example– like it when a gal’s lady parts look like they belong on a woman, not on JonBenet Ramsey. I’d love to know how you made the leap from this aesthetic preference to “you hate women.” That might be the most counterintuitive example of reflexive feminism I’ve ever seen.

    3. You don’t have to prove you’re 22. We can tell.
    Uh-oh, was that another hate crime? Please don’t rat me out to the ACLU!

    Thumb up Thumb down +142

  108. Percocet Princess
    February 4, 2011 at 6:41 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -118

  109. Percocet Princess
    February 4, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -118

  110. Bronc Drywall
    February 4, 2011 at 6:52 pm

    @PP-
    The whole “I want a REAL woman” and “I want an ADULT woman” thing is just demeaning, is all.

    Demeaning to you is not the same as demeaning to others. If this is really where you’re going to draw the line, you’re probably on the wrong site.

    Thumb up Thumb down +74

  111. magelet
    February 4, 2011 at 7:00 pm

    @Bronc-
    As another 22 year old woman, I am OMG SO OFFENDED that you would lump the rest of us in with her.
    I demand that you promptly mail me a letter of apology hand-painted in period blood.

    Good day, Sir and/or Madam.

    Send me your address. – BD

    Thumb up Thumb down +167

  112. fancy spatula
    February 4, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Way to take a stand for women everywhere on a friggin comedy website. My hairy vagina thanks you for setting feminism back a few decades.

    Thumb up Thumb down +123

  113. VincentVanGone
    February 4, 2011 at 7:01 pm

    Is it just me or is there a basic contradiction between veganism and eating pussy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  114. ImaSNAAAAKE
    February 4, 2011 at 7:02 pm

    this is the forum for LOGIC and SANITY.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  115. fetaby
    February 4, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    Because the way I think and the way I feel is absolutely correct… never mind that once my OPINION is out there others are free to agree or disagree with me. If you’ve said your piece, thanks we appreciate it. If you’ve repeated your piece, STFU already, we got it.

    And if a hairless poon cake makes you question the way women are treated in this world, congratulations, you’ve just outed yourself as irrelevant…

    Thumb up Thumb down +104

  116. ImaSNAAAAKE
    February 4, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    also this cake smells delicious.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  117. spiritwunion
    February 4, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    I demand that hundreds of strangers on a web site devoted to bad craft snark validate my grooming preferences! Or I will accuse you of hate crimez! HATE CRIMEZ!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +171

  118. elisson1
    February 4, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    This comment thread has devolved into a shouting match about – what? – ladyparts and feminism, and Gawd knows what else.

    It’s a cake, folks. A cake that looks like a twat. And since it’s vegan, I doubt that it has anchovy cream icing, so it only looks like a twat. [That was a joke. In bad taste, perhaps, but a joke nonetheless.]

    It’s a cake… and a heinous thing for little Susie to find on her table at her sixth birthday party. But its creator surely has a sense of humor… and maybe more of us should, too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  119. BS_RN
    February 4, 2011 at 7:08 pm

    Hold the Fucking Fondant:
    Her Percocet Highness caused me to
    1. Make a Regretsy log on (no longer a creepy gawk-er)
    2. Make up another shit-shot screen name for 1.
    3. and sound off to: You are a human verbiage train wreck! STFU-really! I agree with #111…leave the snark to the real women please Princess!

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  120. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    FLAME ON!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  121. moi
    February 4, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    #103 Percocet Princess :

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
    102, I’m firstly not going to respond to your quip about my username, as it has nothing to do with the situation.
    —————————————-
    Call me crazy, but to not respond to something, don’t you have to NOT respond to it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +91

  122. Falafels
    February 4, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    I just want to get some vinegar and baking soda and watch the eruption.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  123. ImaSNAAAAKE
    February 4, 2011 at 7:12 pm

    #113 personally, I am a vegan who eats pussy, and I’m OFFENDED by your insinuation that my exception for the human animal byproduct of vaginal secretions is somehow a hypocritical stance on my behalf. Are you even a VEGAN? How can you even BEGIN to EXAMINE the depth of the vegan lifestyle without PARTAKING in its PLEASURE?

    You can’t, that’s how. Because YOU. DON’T. KNOW.

    Personally I find the subtle flavor of poon to be far removed from any other animal byproduct, and also cows and bees can’t CONSENT to my consuming their JUICES. So it’s not even the same.

    BTW: I’m 31, thanks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  124. drunkenatheist
    February 4, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    @ Percocet Princess:

    Perhaps you’re getting thumbs downed because you’re acting like a douche?

    I’m a radical feminist and an anarchist. No, not the cutesy kind of anarchist. I’d be happiest living in a government-free egalitarian society. With that being said, under normal circumstances, there’s a lot of shit in Regretsy comments that horrify me. But you know what? I’m a big girl who can deal with naughty language and tasteless jokes. When I can’t, I’ll quietly stop reading. What I won’t do is become the newest member to be featured as a flouncing douchenozzle.

    I spend as much time as I can trying to right the wrongs of society. Why on Earth would I want to devote 24 hours a day to it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +128

  125. Doe
    February 4, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Is it too late to say that I kinda like the cake?

    Thumb up Thumb down +87

  126. fancy spatula
    February 4, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    #118- You mean you don’t make an account for the sole purpose of questioning and berating the grooming habits of total strangers?

    Lame.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  127. drunkenatheist
    February 4, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    Oh, yeah, and to snark the cake: Let’s see, we’ve got an overpriced vegan vag cake. The only way it could be more stereotypical is if the seller was rubbing crystals in the photos. With duckface, of course.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  128. drunkenatheist
    February 4, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    @120: The crunchy, lesbian side of me wants to shut up, but the boisterous, club hopping gay man within wants nothing more than to judge the hell outta that shiz.

    1…2….3…. Oh sorry, that was the countdown until someone calls my queer ass homophobic. :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  129. moi
    February 4, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    I think I’ve made my quota for reading the word pussy this year. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one person use that word so many times in so little time/commentary.

    Pussy. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +68

  130. fancy spatula
    February 4, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    drunkenatheist, I think I love you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  131. drunkenatheist
    February 4, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    @123: That’s the most hateful thing to happen to womankind since we weren’t allowed to vote, you goddamned sexist.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  132. DubayouTeeEff
    February 4, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    I’ll only pay $250 if it’s vagazzled.

    Thumb up Thumb down +69

  133. spiritwunion
    February 4, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    And all along, we’re here talking about whether it’s an insult to say this looks like a 7-year-old poon (with a REALLY overdeveloped clit for her age) and ignoring the real issue, which is that it looks like 7-year-old *fondant.*

    Thumb up Thumb down +95

  134. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    “God, girls who have pubes look like apes. I want a REAL ADULT woman, not one that looks like an APE,”

    Charlton Heston would disagree. How dare you insult ape women like that?

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  135. Saki
    February 4, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Princess, I’m 22 and couldn’t care less what people think of my crotch. You’re embarrassing the rest of us.

    Thumb up Thumb down +77

  136. brucifer
    February 4, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    @PP- So you took it upon yourself to express the outrage of the legion of smooth pussy lovers out there who YOU decided were offended by someone making the pre-pubescent comparison. First off, lighten up. No one insulted you, or anyone else. Its not like someone said a bare pussy looks like roadkill, or Dick Cheney. People have been making that “looks like a little girl” comparison for years. You need to take a deep breath, and listen. The smooth pussy is relatively new. It wasn’t common for women to shave AT ALL until the last decade or so. And its still in the the minority. To you and the gang at Hot Topic it might be the norm, but you are just you, you’re not a consensus of anything. Go watch some porn that predates the 90s. It’s all glorious bush. Only hookers shaved back then, and it wasn’t for the aesthetic effect, cupcake.
    Now shut the fuck up, you’ve shared enough for one day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +147

  137. spiritwunion
    February 4, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    It’s a perfect cake for your menopause or hysterectomy party, because it’s got no eggs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +153

  138. aikoe
    February 4, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    I don’t care if it has hair or not. All I want to know is if it has a carefully-formed fondant anus.

    No reason.

    Thumb up Thumb down +113

  139. whimsicaLideal
    February 4, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -80

  140. Jerry B Flory
    February 4, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -47

  141. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    What? No more barrages of 3-in-a-row comments?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  142. drunkenatheist
    February 4, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    @132: Fuck you for not saying that on the Facebook page. Now I have to type more to properly express my love for that glorious comment.

    Fucker.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  143. inmediasres
    February 4, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    Quick, someone tell Bristol Palin about this cake! I’m sure she can use it in her campaign to support “abstinence” for teens. Get them young enough and it’s sure to turn them off sex till they’re 30. On the other hand, well, there have already been enough American Pie references in this post.

    Also: What’s up with this Percocet troll? Good grief. I’ve tried the Mexican hairless a couple times and know what? As a woman, I thought it MADE ME LOOK LIKE A LITTLE GIRL. Get over it. Also, too much upkeep for my lazy ass.

    I’m just surprised nobody has pointed out the irony to make an account solely for the purpose of having a giant, righteously orgasmic hate-on lecturing folks about their preferences (and expressing their perfectly valid opinions) while saying it’s wrong to harp on people’s preferences. Someone notify the Herp Derp Sherpa to drag this clown down from her mountain of soap boxes, eh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  144. Grot – The Ghost of Reginald I Perrin
    February 4, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    A case of the shaved-clam called the bearded-clam black.

    Can one of the Big Pharma send an emergency shipment to the Princess Household?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  145. ImaSNAAAAKE
    February 4, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    I think PP pussed out and left without finalizing her flounce.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  146. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    *eats cake, reads posts*

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  147. drunkenatheist
    February 4, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Oh, and because I’m a little more buzzed than I should be after 3 IPAs:

    @130: If my vagina EVER looks like Dick Cheney, I can assure you that I will promptly make a trip to Home Depot, pick up some heavy duty spackle, and turn myself into a Ken doll. That is something I NEVER want to see greeting me after a shower. There ain’t enough hair to cover that monstrosity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  148. aikoe
    February 4, 2011 at 8:15 pm

    @139 – Maybe she had to go wax.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  149. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    @147 All the numbers changed so I assume you’re addressing me. Time warps, right?

    Anyhow, I like the hell out of that comment.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  150. Badger
    February 4, 2011 at 8:26 pm

    Dammit all, someone needs to flounce!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  151. LeeLooDallas
    February 4, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Wow. I make a quick call to Dick Cheney, and look at all the craziness I missed!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  152. spiritwunion
    February 4, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    Okay, here, let me see if I can help.

    OMG, I thought Regretsy was totally funny when I discovered it yesterday, but now I realize that it’s mean and wrong and bad and hates women and vegans and rainbows. You are all viscous scuzweasels and I hate you hate you hate you. I am offline staring at my bald snatch in the mirror and weeping, you monsters. I am never coming back here evar.

    Thumb up Thumb down +101

  153. aemc
    February 4, 2011 at 8:43 pm

    me thinks Princess doth protest too much…

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  154. lemon_bombs
    February 4, 2011 at 8:46 pm

    That cake looks like it could use a little lube. Where’s the Karo Light?

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  155. inmediasres
    February 4, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    #151 – how dare you insult my viscosity! I shall flounce here and now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  156. JSteiney
    February 4, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    Well, I just made an account to say this, guys.

    I was totally holding my 9month old son, when I clicked to see the pending flounce. Was not expecting a giant vagina. 9month old? Totally stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry at it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  157. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    @155 Your child hates women.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  158. steelhips
    February 4, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    I feel silly commenting after all that furore but what the heh…

    It needs a speculum topper.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  159. knittygritty
    February 4, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  160. Betty Cracker
    February 4, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    A vegan vulva cake must be full of dry, irritating crumbs.

    Which, honestly, explains a lot of the above.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  161. Frogglin
    February 4, 2011 at 9:20 pm

    Given the choice between waxing my delicate places and NOT waxing my delicate places, I made the tricky choice to NOT inflict massive pain upon myself in order to please a chap, or a lady lovin’ lady.

    I don’t get hairless genitals – male OR female – they look… creepy and weird to me. Not unlike this cake, which I suspect I should order for my wedding in order to give the elderly aunties a conniption.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  162. thatsomedecadentshit
    February 4, 2011 at 9:21 pm

    I’m just wondering how the pubic hair gets on the cake?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  163. spiritwunion
    February 4, 2011 at 9:52 pm

    Okay, in the spirit of fairness: would the cake be any *less* creepy if it had hair?

    Could I get it as a ginger?

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  164. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 4, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    To the lady who sells prescriptions from a throne.

    “You guys complaining about hairless pussies are ridiculous” PERCOCET PRINCESS
    I think it is such bullshit and so sexist to refer to us Women as guys.RCB

    “I know I’ll probably get thumbed down for saying this, but it needed to be said. Let’s stop putting women down, thanks.” Percocet Princess
    Then adress us as the Women we are.RCB

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  165. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 4, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -6

  166. darkandtwisty
    February 5, 2011 at 1:04 am

    @drunkenatheist, may I please make a t-shirt that says “flouncing douchenozzle” and sell it on Etsy?

    With glitter and eagle’s tears and fairy snot of course.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  167. Nahhh
    February 5, 2011 at 1:22 am

    What, no flounce? BUT I SHAVED!

    Fuckyou, PP.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  168. eHostility
    February 5, 2011 at 4:18 am

    I <3 flouncing douchenozzle

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  169. phrekkleface
    February 5, 2011 at 6:59 am

    This was, by far, the most entertaining thread ever.
    I’m going to have to marry every one of you.
    xoxox

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  170. WotV
    February 5, 2011 at 7:05 am

    I’m grossed out imagining the baker naked in front of the mirror while creating this… this…

    Do you think this is what Barbie would look like if she was anatomically correct?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  171. whimsiclesthenics
    February 5, 2011 at 7:34 am

    @spiritwunion : You could totally add ginger pubes with spun sugar. Best part? You can use a Martha Stewart recipe: http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/spun-sugar-caramel-apples

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  172. knittygritty
    February 5, 2011 at 8:53 am

    @169 Assuming Barbie is bigger than your SUV, yes. Otherwise she’s been seeing too many Kens.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  173. WotV
    February 5, 2011 at 10:35 am

    @#171 It’s the new ‘Ho Barbie’. Life-sized.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  174. FantasticFanatic
    February 5, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    I made a login just so I could say this,
    BUT I FIGURED OUT WHAT IT’S FOR!!!

    you know how at bachelorette parties there’es sometimes a penis cake?
    This is meant to be eaten at the bachelorette party for a lesbian couple!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  175. Avatard
    February 5, 2011 at 3:32 pm

    Putting the coot in Couture (Food), maybe with cherry cream cheese frosting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  176. ellaminnowpeadesigns
    February 5, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    I showed my husband this and he said “I sure hope they don’t make it with a red velvet cake.” ha ha ha

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  177. sheltiepitbullfun
    February 5, 2011 at 4:09 pm

    Bundt should make a cake pan (more)shaped like a vagina so all do-it-yourselfers can partake in this creativity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  178. knittygritty
    February 5, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    @175 But that takes all the etsiness out of it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  179. prynsesscraftsy
    February 5, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    I wanted to give Percocet Princess a thumbs down for her post, but I also wanted to give Helen a HUGE thumbs up for her response:

    Maybe you got thumbed down because YOU’RE SO FUCKING ANNOYING – HK

    I’m so torn!!! Most of the time I expect a “blog monitor” to be all “Hey guys, let’s calm down and stop with the name-calling…”, which is what makes you the best person ever. I love Regretsy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  180. prynsesscraftsy
    February 5, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    @Steelhips: Maybe someone can fashion a specula cake server…My birthday IS this Friday.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  181. Lucretia Borgia
    February 5, 2011 at 9:42 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  182. faunablues
    February 6, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    But where would you put the candle?

    … Oh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  183. lillianna_13
    February 6, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Well I didn’t comment on vulva cake before because I’m not as funny as all of you, but the thought of the first flounce I can witness was too awesome to miss. As soon as I read “Okay, I had to make an account to comment on this….” I knew it was going to be good, and HK you have never let me down :) . My (not so personal opinion as of now) is, if you just imagine putting hot wax on flesh, then ripping the hair out by the roots, in that sensitive area, why oh why would you actually do it??? I agree, everyone has their own opinions, not once did I think any of you were being degrading to women until PP decided it was her job to tell all of us what we think is funny, I mean the heart that looked like a drippy dick wasn’t degrading to men was it? No. Sorry if I’m a little late to the party but she made me angry. Oh yeah and since we’re pulling the “I’m mature for my age for realz” I’m 27, and I agree with everyone else, clean shaven = young female because it is not the norm.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  184. lillianna_13
    February 6, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    And my final comment on this since I’m sure everyone is tired of this bullshit already is this… There was 1 single comment before the Princess made her debut about it being childlike and it was commented it looked like an 11 year old not 7. She was just a troll and felt the need to tell us what was funny or not, and her personal grooming preferences which I guess is still disturbing me enough to post yet again. Many apologies if I am being a pain in the ass but I’m anal about facts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  185. NougatCat
    February 6, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Kinda just creepy. But hey… aside from Bachelorette and Period parties, doesn’t anyone else think this would be _awesome_ as the main dessert at a Vagina Monologues after-party? Complete with the added flair of being presented by April wearing the beaver suit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  186. Maquievelle
    February 7, 2011 at 3:51 am

    This as turn out in a beautifull, shaved, no-hair thread! Realy… don’t choke!
    BTW: I’d tap that!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  187. spandy
    February 8, 2011 at 10:02 am

    If you’ve ever been on a sleigh ride drawn by a pair of Belgian mares, you’ll see animated vulvas like this slip sliding around in front of your face, complete with the occassional bubbly vag fart. After an hour of this, the last thing you want to see on your table is this cake.
    And I’m not 22.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  188. Princess Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 8, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Since this thread is STILL going on, I have changed my name (again) to commemorate it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  189. Ninjabunny
    February 8, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    I made a profile just so’s I can say I love you to #186 Spandy – that made me laugh SO much :D x

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  190. knittygritty
    February 8, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    #186 spandy:

    The more I scrub my eyes, the more I see Belgian mare vulvas farting at me, and the more anguished and upset I get when I see the red velvet cupcakes at Starbucks. Thank you for ruining my life. I’m going to get some whiskey.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  191. Portmandont
    February 8, 2011 at 9:19 pm

    Loving the toilet paper stuck all over the cake. So realistic!

    Also, kudos to everyone for providing me with an immensely entertaining scroll-down read on here. Fabulous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  192. Swarbles
    February 9, 2011 at 11:37 am

    saw this last week on Vegansaurus! hahaha

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  193. Cage
    February 15, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  194. Bluntress
    March 24, 2011 at 4:37 am

    Yum!! it’s a loverly cake to give to one’s cunty mother in law.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  195. Rubber_Wonder_Boy
    September 23, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    I wish I had the talent & know-how to take this photo & go all Blingee on it, just like the crying eagles posted previously with glittery tears & unicorns & rainbows all over the place.

    But as a gay man, it would make my mamma so proud to see me dive face first & devour it. Ahhh, if only. Oh well.

    Now, about that candle penis ….

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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