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NOT FOR SALE

I know, I know.

You want this 3D portrait of Nadine, but it’s not for sale. And it hurts. It hurts a lot.

So what are you supposed to do? How are you supposed to quench that longing? How do you fill that goatse in your soul?

Well, I’ll tell you how.

Send Sharie’s Craft World a photo of yourself. Say, this one for example.

Then, you wait.

You wait in a state of heightened, desperate longing, hoping you will look as good as Nadine does. Hoping this will be that thing that makes you whole.

And then, one day, the email. The sweet, sweet email.

It’s all done ready to be shipped with your okay. Here are the pictures I took for you. Thank you, I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed making it!

Oh dear.

Well that’s a lot better. Starting to really see the resemblance. Not to me of course, but let’s not split hairs.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that this is the best 3D clay portrait of Tyne Daly that I’ve ever seen.

And it gets even better when the eyelashes and varnish are liberally painted on my face, which coincidentally, is how I apply my own make-up.

And there you have it. A treasure that will be handed down for generations, as your descendants try desperately to figure out who it is.

I unreservedly recommend Sharie’s Craft World for anyone who wants a clay portrait of themselves as Paula Poundstone.

In case I haven’t been clear, I would like to state for the record that this is one of the greatest things I have ever purchased, and I cannot wait to get it into my home. This woman was incredibly geniune and a pleasure to work with.

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82 comments on NOT FOR SALE

  1. thiswasnotaboatingsteampunk!
    February 3, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Did you ever stop to think that may you resemble Tyne Daly? (In her heyday, of course, not the “grandmother in Lifetime movies” era.)

    HAWT!

    Thumb up Thumb down +116

  2. 12gatsunohime
    February 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    I gotta wonder. Did she even ask why you wanted a portrait made out of yourself with a mustache and a shoe on your head, or does she get requests like that every day?

    That aside, the end product is GAWJUSS.

    Thumb up Thumb down +199

  3. Wilma Fingerdoo
    February 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    Is this still with the Beaver theme? Is it me, or does Nadine have a beaver tail for hair?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  4. terriwells
    February 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    That’s…oh my. Dare I say “inspiring”? Would you think less of me if I said that you’ve made me think about how I can do the same thing in fiber?

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  5. TackledAndShackled
    February 3, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    I love you so much.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  6. emlemony
    February 3, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    Wow! she really captured your bizarre Foot-shaped hand.
    This is full of win!

    I know! And the fact that my arm grows directly out of my shoulder. Not a lot of people know that about me. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +190

  7. sorlenna
    February 3, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    That is the shizzle!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  8. tinkerjenn
    February 3, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Wow. I’m just speechless.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  9. daisyj
    February 3, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    Today was the day I realized that my house is not a home, because it does not have an item like this in it.

    You know what to do. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +200

  10. skarah1313
    February 3, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    I wonder if she does pornographic ones.

    Thumb up Thumb down +117

  11. Rad Bromance
    February 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    I don’t get the hand coming from behind your shoulder, but then art isn’t supposed to be easy to understand 100% of the time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  12. krystyna81
    February 3, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    I love that she gave you step by step updates. This truly is wonderful, and I think you are awesome :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +96

  13. Sexecutioner
    February 3, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    She left out the plastic rhinestones on yours, the one of jabba the housewife was covered with them, maybe you have to special order that kind of pizazz

    No, she was sitting in front of a Christmas tree in her shot, so that’s how the artist represented the ornaments. Click on the link and look at the third picture. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  14. phrekkleface
    February 3, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Liza Minnelli?

    She nailed your ear lobe, though. The resemblace is astounding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

  15. buffoon
    February 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -65

  16. mambolica
    February 3, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    I AM TOTALLY GETTING ONE !

    Every part of this is made of awesomeschmaltz.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  17. regretmenot
    February 3, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -143

  18. capricorn21
    February 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm

    I’m sure its the clay thats added 10lbs…
    ;)

    That’s probably why Oprah hasn’t ordered one. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +133

  19. whimsiclesthenics
    February 3, 2011 at 1:10 pm

    I think it’s a major bonus to get the in-process pictures. I’ve always wondered what I’d look like bald. Now I can find out AND get a 3D portrait all for one low low price.

    Thumb up Thumb down +94

  20. bootsychoo
    February 3, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Perhaps if you sent in a picture of Tyne Daly…

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  21. valerie
    February 3, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Wow, Danny DeVito has really let himself go…

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  22. joshpincusiscrying
    February 3, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    I’ve been considering opening an online store where nothing is for sale.

    Well, now, by God, I have my inspiration to follow my dream!

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  23. creepydolls
    February 3, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Am I the only person who would hang Nadine in my house?

    This is awesome.

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  24. CanadianByMarriage
    February 3, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Do you think she can do custom work? For example if someone wanted one of these fabulous 3D portraits of herself riding a winged pony with the head of Journey frontman Steve Perry and she Photoshopped the picture, do you think Sherie could handle it? Not that I would want that or anything…I’m just curious.

    Thumb up Thumb down +61

  25. purple_peacock
    February 3, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Wow,now that makes you look wonderful.
    As in “I wonder how such a likeness was achieved without crack”

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  26. Bratfink
    February 3, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    I wish I could make ANYTHING in clay and have it be recognizable by another human being.

    I looked through her site. I love the yellow flower necklace and I love the jean purses. (I made my niece a cig and cell phone purse from a pocket from jeans once. I added some crochet to it, plus crocheted a strap. I never thought of using the whole butt.)

    THIS shop is exactly what Etsy was supposed to be!

    Thumb up Thumb down +77

  27. geeky cheeky
    February 3, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    This will be great because I have low self esteem and having one of these 3D portraits of myself hanging on my wall will always remind me that I could be uglier.

    Thumb up Thumb down +126

  28. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    February 3, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    I think it’s not a bad rendering of you with a mustache and a zori on your head.

    We need more comparison photographs from other angles to really judge. A LOT more photographs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  29. Amanda Hug-N-Kiss
    February 3, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    So shiny! I want to touch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  30. phrekkleface
    February 3, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    “my arm grows directly out of my shoulder”

    April, I hope like hell you’re not left-handed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  31. Cori Scores
    February 3, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    You should give it to Tyne Daily’s husband, just to hear him go “Say WHAT?!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  32. Glitteristhenewblack
    February 3, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    Oh wow! This just makes me want to stand at attention and salute you right back! Then recite:

    I pledge allegiance to Helen Killer,
    of the united laughter of Regretsy
    and to all the fuckery for which she stands.
    One goetse, under balls,
    indiwhimsical, with googly eyes and glitter for all.

    Thumb up Thumb down +126

  33. whywhywhynot
    February 3, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    I think… I think… I think I need another drink before I comment on this one!?!?!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  34. unclefoo
    February 3, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    You, my dear, are a complete nutbar.
    Don’t go changin’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  35. Alizoo
    February 3, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Sharie could fulfil so many alchemy requests to levels never before been seen…. I am envisioning spiderman on fire (wearing a sombrero) punching Jesus (who is in a wheelchair) down the stairs. Or the random alternative of a sheep wearing a gas mask) riding a horse with people for hooves!

    I would like to see that very, very much…

    I could send her a rough sketch to start it off!

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  36. suedonim
    February 3, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    I think you should get your wedding pictures in 3-D. You’d need a gallery to display them, but it would be so worth it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  37. poes27
    February 3, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    One question… Is THIS for sale?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  38. eHostility
    February 3, 2011 at 2:01 pm

    It’s indescribably beautiful

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  39. mapleleaves
    February 3, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  40. regretmenot
    February 3, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -98

  41. HelenaHandbasket
    February 3, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    This is a stunning piece, and the artist seems like so much fun to work with! I’m only sorry that she neglected to portray you with your lower plate in.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  42. HaloSoap
    February 3, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    I’m impressed that you ordered this on January 24th and it was shipped to you already.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  43. Holden Back
    February 3, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -21

  44. thiswasnotaboatingsteampunk!
    February 3, 2011 at 2:53 pm

    I will say, she didn’t do a very good job of hiding your lazy eye.

    It follows me all around the room!

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  45. Madam Morgana
    February 3, 2011 at 2:55 pm

    Is that a goitre? You need more iodine. Try some sushi.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  46. MrJimDennis
    February 3, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    Looking at the finished product, you could hardly imagine the Ferengi of the first email pic lurking under all the clay hair, eyelashes and sealant.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  47. HeyRed
    February 3, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    That is pretty epic…

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  48. TooManyCookbooks
    February 3, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    That’s the best 3D-clay rendering of John Leguizamo in drag I’ve ever seen!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  49. whaapplewha
    February 3, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    Here’s what I want to know: Is Nadine available?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  50. Lolcattus
    February 3, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    I must say she really captured the essence of this portrait, that nike flip flop is so lifelike!

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  51. unseeliepixie
    February 3, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    How can a piece be so terrifying and yet so wondrous at the same time? I am getting distinct Hieronymous Bosch vibes from it…

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  52. Sexecutioner
    February 3, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -26

  53. squidslooklikedicks
    February 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I dont like the fact that clay you does not have level 7 cat earrings as well :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  54. sheltiepitbullfun
    February 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    This portrait is hilarious! I can’t tell if its Oliver Hardy or Charlie Chaplin!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  55. humalong
    February 3, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Only 109 bucks for one of these? That’s a whole lot of Fimo or whatever……I would so love one of these…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  56. iunifera
    February 3, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    I was feeling pretty down, and then I saw this…my husband and kids all ran down the stairs to see what I was laughing at, or maybe it was to see if I needed CPR…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  57. angel drawers
    February 3, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    Why can’t I buy Nadine?? What if I send her the original photo of Nadine that’s posted with the listing? My favorite touch is the necklace.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  58. yecats
    February 3, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    #28, we do not need other angles.Have you seen the 3rd and 4th pictures in the actual Etsy listing? Nightmares….

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  59. Badger
    February 3, 2011 at 5:09 pm

    You look gorgeous, dear. I think you should save it and have it be your wedding present to John. Imagine his surprise when he opens it at the reception in front of all your friends and family!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  60. flare
    February 3, 2011 at 5:17 pm

    Damn – now i’m torn between getting one of these and getting a Pricasso.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  61. knittygritty
    February 3, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    Wonder if she’d do the Saints?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  62. electrakitty
    February 3, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    I literally giggled over this for two whole minutes. Thanks for completely making my day!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  63. Stretch65 was on the 01/26 episode of Criminal Minds
    February 3, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    I am definitely going to recommend this seller to the Alchemy requestor who wanted artwork of Tosh.0 being nailed by John Cena!!! Nailed in 3-D no less!!

    But seriously, I love the fact the crafter got the cleft in your chin. That’s attention to detail definitely FTW!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  64. trousers rolled
    February 3, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    Sharie, darling, you need to charge more.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  65. nylasor
    February 3, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -13

  66. catherder
    February 3, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    I’m imagining your house, with cross-stitch House, this portrait, and the other things you’ve bought and shown us, with you hanging out in your fleece dog caftan…

    My neighbors are so boring.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  67. Cori Scores
    February 3, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    When I look at the finished product, all I can think of is Paul Benedict. In drag.
    http://i1176.photobucket.com/albums/x330/CoriScores/Crapping%20Poetic/PaulBenedict.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  68. trousers rolled
    February 3, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    HK, have you been working out? Your sternocleidomastoids are buff!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  69. Gojira
    February 3, 2011 at 8:31 pm

    Word’s fail me, but I’m not going to let that keep me from typing a comment.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  70. cattiekit
    February 3, 2011 at 8:48 pm

    Before she added the hair, it kinda looked like Peter Boyle….

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  71. Guavaloo
    February 3, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    This. Is. Awesome. As someone who has tried to make clay look even remotely human, it’s damn near impossible to do. She certainly captured that crazy glint in your eye…and that’s some fine moustache detailing. Henh. Moustache.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  72. jupiterjenny
    February 3, 2011 at 9:37 pm

    This is full of awesome…and I’m really surprised she hasn’t sold more…then again they are a wee bit pricey.
    maybe you can take it out of the frame and have it worked into your back splash tile work in the kitchen or your bathroom tiles!
    Your misplaced hand there looks like you are checking out a sailor… not giving a fuckery salute!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  73. denisewalks
    February 3, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    If you ever got sick of it (but who could, really) you could make a buttload of money for your charities by auctioning it off.

    I think it’s seriously cool, and I’m so glad the seller was nice about the whole thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  74. unholyghost2003
    February 4, 2011 at 5:42 am

    In all fairness your arm DOES grow directly out of your shoulder … just, you know, not like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  75. Mooserepellant
    February 4, 2011 at 7:44 am

    To be fair, the 3/4 view of the face is one of the hardest to capture accurately in art. What an amazing end product!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  76. idschnider
    February 4, 2011 at 11:33 am

    O.M.G I’ve just found this site and I can’t stop crying with laughter, does that make me mean?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  77. Nahhh
    February 4, 2011 at 11:38 am

    The more I look at this, the more I like it. In fact, I think it looks more like you than the actual photo. If you ever decide to have plastic surgery, you should just take the sculpture in and say, “Make me look like this.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  78. shlily
    February 4, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    is anyone else getting a dom deluise resemblance off the final piece or is it just me?
    http://www.foxmoviechannel.com/images/movie_details/75L0002_lg_3_Dom-DeLuise.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  79. mandalarain
    February 4, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    she nailed your facial structure

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  80. MmeZeeZee
    February 5, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Don’t hate me (or do, whatever), but I think she has improved since Nadine’s sculpture. She has a ways to go, but I think you got a better deal than Nadine did.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  81. mandalarain
    February 5, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    i can’t even imagine the pressure being approached…

    “So… you want to do a custom piece for a feature on Regretsy.com? :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  82. godzilla complex
    April 5, 2011 at 12:18 am

    these portraits are kind of awful but also a little bit heartwarming… if i had the spare cash to drop i’d consider commissioning one.

    also i’m kind of surprised you didn’t sport an octopus necklace for the pic you submitted.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

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