It looks like a bottle gnome ate those mint-filled oreos and took a dump in molten lead, and then sold it to the seller who dropped it in some mud and re-listed it as a goblet.
I object to the tag of “goblet” as well. Fortunately, the crushed side leads me to believe it wasn’t meant to actually be used as a real “goblet,” because if someone gave me this to consume anything drinkable out of, I think I’d be sick.
My boyfriend has a ceramic piece that I also assume was supposed to be a “goblet.” It’s so ugly, I’m glad I’ve been able to encourage him to keep it on his dresser rather than displaying it anywhere someone could see it in our house. It is allowed to live because it was a piece that a friend created in a ceramics class for practice, it’s still not nearly as ugly as this, and our friend had the good sense to give away her practice pieces rather than charging the fool public money for it. I just can’t imagine what would possess a seller to be foolish enough to even allow any potential buyers the chance to see that thing as an example of her work.
My daughter made me a pinch pot in kindergarten last year, she came up with a pot about inch tall and an inch around. The sides were for the most part uniform in height and very circular in shape. Needless to say I applaud her skill at 5 but wouldn’t sell it even though I could considering what Etsy is trying to convince me art is.
Jimmie Walker, Texas Ranger
February 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Egads. It looks like a deformed mushroom that’s been dipped in diarrhea. I sure wish Etsy existed back when I was taking art in high school. I could’ve made a mint from my failed projects.
I seriously thought that was a sculpture of a mushroom. My bad. But my eye doctor said I have no depth perception so I couldn’t tell there was – you know – a hole to put… something… in… it? It’s like Rubin’s vase. Trippy.
You shallow philistine oiks. This is a haunting abstract statement about modern society’s obsession with plastic surgery, clones and shit, what’s wrong with you lot? Don’t you know ART when it’s hacked up in front of you? Or whatever. It’s got COLOURS which are included and unlike you lot, not limited to.
“Made of three attached mini pinched pots…” How ’bout we jazz up that description a bit: “Set of conjoined illegitimate triplets sadly infected with what we believe to be either elephantiasis (elephantitis, according to Wikipedia, is incorrect) or leprosy, possibly both. Is it art or an unfortunate biological experiment?”
BTW, could also be filed under Annoying Descriptions. as far as I’m concerned.
The seller thinks this doesn’t look like commercially processed pottery and it doesn’t. But it does look like something processed it and left it behind.
(I’m a pagan and I’ve done some reading on Wicca and nowhere, in anything I’ve read, are fugly goblets mentioned.)
Since I’m still here, and my blood sugar is a little low, I think it would be fun to see a Wiccan, proto-goth, steampunk, goblet-shaped buttplug on regretsy. Am I the only one? Probably.
From her profile: “I just began my third semester in ceramics last week.”
When I think of ceramics, I do not immediately think steampunk. I guess I just should have taken those two semesters of ceramics like her and I would be an expert by now.
@ #34 lilliana_13: Why, *I* think your daughter is a veritable prodigy of pinch-potting. You could open a shop around her efforts and bill her as the Youngest Ceramics Artist/Designer on Earth. Why not? ;>)
@ LeeLoo Dallas: ABrownCrayon. Yeah. If she pinched one of those off and polished it, it might look as good as this alleged goblet.
Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
February 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm
#52 whaapplewha – “proto-goth” is something I made up because, long before “goth” was a lifestyle, I was dressing/acting that way. Of course I grew out of it before it caught on.
Let me art nerd for a minute and point out that this looks raku fired. Raku glaze has a butt-ton of lead in it and is not to be used for food. Looks like they might have been drinking from their own creations.
“Is beauty in the eye of the beholder, or are we so swept up in our world of fashion clones and plastic surgery that we take those strangely different things for granted?”"
You wouldn’t need to use guilt to sell your stuff if you can make anything better.
As a ceramic artist myself, I would like to point out a few things.
This could not be used as a functional goblet. There are unglazed areas where bacteria could grow. There are also irregularities on the surface which could harbor bacteria as well. I also have no idea what kind of glaze she used. Are these non-toxic and food safe? However, the main reason this item could not be used as a goblet is that you would throw up every time you tried to take a drink.
as a “beginner” ceramic artist (3 semesters of college ceramics) I’d like to say that give me a nice generous 3lb lump of clay and oh an hour and i could surpass this.
seriously, there’s a point in which you have to admit your slumping drooping POS should be offered to the pug mill.
well form what i can tell someone was forced to go to a art class and just smashed and pinched the clay till they said the heck with it and dumped glaze on it for good measure.
The price has been lowered from $7.50 to $4.50 yet still no one bought it yet? When your reasonably-priced regretsy-featured item was not sold within an hour then you know something is very wrong here.
Stretch65 was on the 01/26 episode of Criminal Minds
February 3, 2011 at 5:41 pm
The seller missed the tag DISTRESSED. I don’t know if it applies directly to the item, but when I see something like this being offered for sale – I get distressed
February 1, 2011 at 4:37 pm
Gotta give them credit for tagging this “ugly.”
February 1, 2011 at 4:41 pm
I admit that its been quite a few years since the daughters and I attended a ceramics class, but back when we did… we called this FUBAR and moved on.
February 1, 2011 at 4:42 pm
I’ve seen hangnails that look better than this.
February 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm
yeah, pinching something is pretty much what I was thinking when I first laid eyes on this.
February 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm
She means “candy dish” in that, it’s a dish(??) that’s made from chewed up candy, right?
February 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm
From my facebook newsfeed, it resembled a wad of gum with vomit coming out of it.
The larger picture isn’t much better.
February 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm
I find the “candy dish” tag more objectionable than the “steampunk” tag.
February 1, 2011 at 4:46 pm
“Pinched” sounds so much more deliberate than “wrecked”.
February 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm
I can’t believe I’m defending this artist yet again but this is pretty sweet. http://www.etsy.com/listing/67098150/ceramic-zombie-hand-bathroom-set
Her other wares look like vomit, though.
February 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm
I demand truth in advertising. If she’d called it a badly squashed ceramic goblet, I could’ve almost overlooked her tagging it Steampunk.
February 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
what is this person talking about, this looks completely processed. through intestines.
February 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm
Oh please, something this ugly is certainly worth at least $125. Someone is selling their failure short.
February 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Um, a half-assed Holy Grail replica? I want to chuck the Holy Hand Grenade at it.
February 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I have something similar maturing in the back of the fridge–should I list it, I wonder.
February 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Actually, I just noticed she’s hit the unholy trinity of steampunk, wiccan AND goth.
I’m sorry, but most Wiccans and Goths I’ve known had way better test in furnishings…
February 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm
Steampuke, maybe …
February 1, 2011 at 4:55 pm
This should have been tagged ‘Chamber pot’….because I sure as fuck would take a crap in this thing before i’d use it as a ‘goblet’ or ‘candy dish’.
February 1, 2011 at 4:57 pm
It looks like a bottle gnome ate those mint-filled oreos and took a dump in molten lead, and then sold it to the seller who dropped it in some mud and re-listed it as a goblet.
February 1, 2011 at 4:58 pm
So is it a bowl, a goblet, or a candy dish?
Or is it some magical half-melted candle holder?
February 1, 2011 at 5:06 pm
The clay dish I made at primary school when I was about 7 is better than almost everything in her entire store…
February 1, 2011 at 5:07 pm
They forgot the ‘crap’ tag. I’m sure there are several scatalogically inclined people who would be interested in the piece.
February 1, 2011 at 5:14 pm
I object to the tag of “goblet” as well. Fortunately, the crushed side leads me to believe it wasn’t meant to actually be used as a real “goblet,” because if someone gave me this to consume anything drinkable out of, I think I’d be sick.
February 1, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fail
February 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm
Aww.. it’s always so nice when the emo kids get to take art classes.
“processed and boring”… Eco-Emo? That’s a new one.
February 1, 2011 at 5:21 pm
My boyfriend has a ceramic piece that I also assume was supposed to be a “goblet.” It’s so ugly, I’m glad I’ve been able to encourage him to keep it on his dresser rather than displaying it anywhere someone could see it in our house. It is allowed to live because it was a piece that a friend created in a ceramics class for practice, it’s still not nearly as ugly as this, and our friend had the good sense to give away her practice pieces rather than charging the fool public money for it. I just can’t imagine what would possess a seller to be foolish enough to even allow any potential buyers the chance to see that thing as an example of her work.
February 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm
is “pinched” another word for fucked up?
February 1, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Clearly mislabeled should be Erotic.
February 1, 2011 at 5:24 pm
What’d you pinch it with, your anus? It sure looks like it’s made of shit. (some other butt joke) (poop)
February 1, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Sadly, an absence of absinthe is no excuse for this, seller.
February 1, 2011 at 5:25 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 1, 2011 at 5:27 pm
Why’s it got to be “black”?
February 1, 2011 at 5:29 pm
#8 KatP:
those are interesting, but all I can think of is that she put HER toothbrush in it, and now I’m supposed to put MY toothbrush in? No thanks!
February 1, 2011 at 5:33 pm
I’m not feeling 100% today and first read her shop name as “ABrownCanyon”. You better believe I was about to go nuts on that… and then re-read. Darn.
February 1, 2011 at 5:40 pm
My daughter made me a pinch pot in kindergarten last year, she came up with a pot about inch tall and an inch around. The sides were for the most part uniform in height and very circular in shape. Needless to say I applaud her skill at 5 but wouldn’t sell it even though I could considering what Etsy is trying to convince me art is.
February 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm
Egads. It looks like a deformed mushroom that’s been dipped in diarrhea. I sure wish Etsy existed back when I was taking art in high school. I could’ve made a mint from my failed projects.
February 1, 2011 at 5:50 pm
I seriously thought that was a sculpture of a mushroom. My bad. But my eye doctor said I have no depth perception so I couldn’t tell there was – you know – a hole to put… something… in… it? It’s like Rubin’s vase. Trippy.
February 1, 2011 at 6:17 pm
You shallow philistine oiks. This is a haunting abstract statement about modern society’s obsession with plastic surgery, clones and shit, what’s wrong with you lot? Don’t you know ART when it’s hacked up in front of you? Or whatever. It’s got COLOURS which are included and unlike you lot, not limited to.
February 1, 2011 at 6:24 pm
“Made of three attached mini pinched pots…” How ’bout we jazz up that description a bit: “Set of conjoined illegitimate triplets sadly infected with what we believe to be either elephantiasis (elephantitis, according to Wikipedia, is incorrect) or leprosy, possibly both. Is it art or an unfortunate biological experiment?”
BTW, could also be filed under Annoying Descriptions. as far as I’m concerned.
February 1, 2011 at 6:32 pm
Yet again, steambunk. Also, I think “Time to pinch the goblet!” might become a new euphemism for me.
February 1, 2011 at 6:37 pm
I feel a lawsuit coming on, because ever since I looked at this…this…THING, I can’t focus my right eye.
February 1, 2011 at 6:38 pm
I’m sorry, but shouldn’t something classified as a “goblet” acutally be able to hold some amount of liquid?
This looks like a dribble glass for a Horta.
February 1, 2011 at 6:38 pm
for those of you not up on your ST:TOS lore:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horta_%28Star_Trek%29
February 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm
As a Wiccan and a proto-goth, I think I’ve been insulted by this object.
February 1, 2011 at 6:45 pm
It might work nicely as a butt plug. I can’t believe no one has mentioned it before.
February 1, 2011 at 6:49 pm
The seller thinks this doesn’t look like commercially processed pottery and it doesn’t. But it does look like something processed it and left it behind.
(I’m a pagan and I’ve done some reading on Wicca and nowhere, in anything I’ve read, are fugly goblets mentioned.)
February 1, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Since I’m still here, and my blood sugar is a little low, I think it would be fun to see a Wiccan, proto-goth, steampunk, goblet-shaped buttplug on regretsy. Am I the only one? Probably.
February 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm
From her profile: “I just began my third semester in ceramics last week.”
When I think of ceramics, I do not immediately think steampunk. I guess I just should have taken those two semesters of ceramics like her and I would be an expert by now.
February 1, 2011 at 7:15 pm
Perhaps it was fired in a Victorian era, steam-powered kiln that doubles as a flying machine.
You have to admit, that would explain a lot.
February 1, 2011 at 7:28 pm
I kinda like it. Not enough to spend the $7.50 though.
February 1, 2011 at 7:38 pm
@ #34 lilliana_13: Why, *I* think your daughter is a veritable prodigy of pinch-potting. You could open a shop around her efforts and bill her as the Youngest Ceramics Artist/Designer on Earth. Why not? ;>)
@ LeeLoo Dallas: ABrownCrayon. Yeah. If she pinched one of those off and polished it, it might look as good as this alleged goblet.
February 1, 2011 at 7:47 pm
This clearly has been pinched out of an orifice.
February 1, 2011 at 7:57 pm
#43 Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle or anyone else who is in the know:
What is proto-goth? I can’t find anything specific online.
February 1, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Perhaps it was steampunk before someone left it out in the rain.
February 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm
#52 whaapplewha – “proto-goth” is something I made up because, long before “goth” was a lifestyle, I was dressing/acting that way. Of course I grew out of it before it caught on.
February 1, 2011 at 8:27 pm
@ Buzzkill – Horta. Hmm. I learn so many valuable things when avoiding paper-writing….
February 1, 2011 at 8:29 pm
It looks like a bird shat on it.
February 1, 2011 at 8:36 pm
#54 Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle: Thanks, sister.
February 1, 2011 at 9:14 pm
They should have called it a magical sparkly toadstool.
February 2, 2011 at 12:45 am
I think its tagged retarded stuff on purpose. And the description sounds like it was meant to be sarcastic or ironic. Ugly as hell for sure though.
February 2, 2011 at 1:11 am
It looks like the kiln burped.
February 2, 2011 at 1:27 am
As part of both the Wicca and the Goth cultures, I have to say WTF???
February 2, 2011 at 4:15 am
Let me art nerd for a minute and point out that this looks raku fired. Raku glaze has a butt-ton of lead in it and is not to be used for food. Looks like they might have been drinking from their own creations.
February 2, 2011 at 5:51 am
She’s changed the price and the description based on what everyone has said so far. I hope she gets inspired to make more.
February 2, 2011 at 6:03 am
This is what almost everything in my house would look like after it burned down.
February 2, 2011 at 7:57 am
Actually, this is the kind of piece that grows on you after looking at it for a while…not unlike a fungus.
February 2, 2011 at 9:04 am
“Is beauty in the eye of the beholder, or are we so swept up in our world of fashion clones and plastic surgery that we take those strangely different things for granted?”"
You wouldn’t need to use guilt to sell your stuff if you can make anything better.
February 2, 2011 at 9:27 am
“Display this piece prominently and show your friends that you’re a non-conformist.”
Oh, I’m a non-conformist alright! I can’t conform myself with how ugly this is!
February 2, 2011 at 10:22 am
As a ceramic artist myself, I would like to point out a few things.
This could not be used as a functional goblet. There are unglazed areas where bacteria could grow. There are also irregularities on the surface which could harbor bacteria as well. I also have no idea what kind of glaze she used. Are these non-toxic and food safe? However, the main reason this item could not be used as a goblet is that you would throw up every time you tried to take a drink.
February 2, 2011 at 10:23 am
Oh, forgot to mention that she changed the tags as well as dropped the price. She now has a tag labeled Regretsy and it’s going for $4.50.
February 2, 2011 at 10:51 am
To me, it looks processed. By someone’s digestive sistem.
February 2, 2011 at 10:55 am
Sorry, System.
February 2, 2011 at 11:03 am
Update – the listing has been changed, Regretsy is mentioned, and the price is lowered to $4.50.
But it’s still tagged as steampunk.
February 2, 2011 at 11:57 am
as a “beginner” ceramic artist (3 semesters of college ceramics) I’d like to say that give me a nice generous 3lb lump of clay and oh an hour and i could surpass this.
seriously, there’s a point in which you have to admit your slumping drooping POS should be offered to the pug mill.
February 2, 2011 at 1:26 pm
@ #62 Moonshayde
no dice, the unglazed bottom would be soot black. and there’s no cracking of the glaze. a pity, raku would imrove this.
raku imo is the glitter coated dog poo of the ceramic world.
February 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm
well form what i can tell someone was forced to go to a art class and just smashed and pinched the clay till they said the heck with it and dumped glaze on it for good measure.
February 2, 2011 at 4:04 pm
I wonder if it would be better with googly eyes…
February 2, 2011 at 5:31 pm
@ #76 tinkerjenn: Wouldn’t help.
February 2, 2011 at 6:52 pm
The googly eyes would let her add that it is inhabited by woodland spirits… of muppets.
February 2, 2011 at 7:02 pm
I’m pretty sure I saw how this goblet was made when I blew my nose after waking up this morning.
February 2, 2011 at 9:51 pm
I think my son left a custom “pinched goblet” in the toilet yesterday. If I had only known how much it was worth…
February 2, 2011 at 11:03 pm
The price has been lowered from $7.50 to $4.50 yet still no one bought it yet? When your reasonably-priced regretsy-featured item was not sold within an hour then you know something is very wrong here.
February 3, 2011 at 4:56 pm
It’s also tagged as “non conformist”, but that’s okay. It doesn’t conform to any standards I have.
February 3, 2011 at 5:41 pm
The seller missed the tag DISTRESSED. I don’t know if it applies directly to the item, but when I see something like this being offered for sale – I get distressed
February 3, 2011 at 6:38 pm
Wow, must have been hard to choose the shittiest angles for the pictures.
February 4, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Doesn’t even look like a goblet. Looks like it is something on someone’s foot from “Ripley’s Believe it or Not”
February 9, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Hmm. Looks like an artifact from the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.
April 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm
If it doesn’t come with the twig, I’ll be pissed!
April 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm
Christ on a stick. Wrong post. FML.