lol @ the french tips with the fucked up nail beds…
So if amazonite is supposed to promote truth, sincerity, honesty, and communication how does this seller get off trying to scam some one by selling a five buck rock for 32 dollars?
P.S. I’m really not impressed with the gun crazies of the world deciding what is fashionable in jewelry… way to go mixing metaphors by shoving a crystal up a bullet a casing…
Sounds like she’s got the power of the crystal meth running through her mind if she thinks she can sell the shiny stone from the Home Depot borders mix.
When I propsed to my wife, I dropped a porterhouse steak on her hand. She said it was pretentious and exchanged it for something classy and more subtle – a petite filet mignon.
Funny – in all the years I studied Geoscience in college, when I had to memorize all sorts of properties of rocks and minerals and such, those darned professors never did bother telling me which stones would make me see the future. To think it would just take an etsy seller to enlighten me! I’m calling the Bursar and demanding a refund on Monday.
Just last month I was in the Amazonian Jungle and accidentally swallowed some tap water.
I could definitely “feel the power of the Amazon running” through me – does she make toilet bowl rings?
I really could have used one.
Is this for people who take exception to being flashed “fuck you” pumps? (Oh, I’m so SORRY, I didn’t mean for my ring to knock you in the eye like that!!!)
I wonder if the seller is doing this in an effort to get the money to buy a rock tumbler so they can make REAL jewelry out of pretty stones and not these hunks of crap they found in the quarry when her husband had to buy gravel for the driveway.
Hey now, stop ragging on the seller and her craptastic manicure! Obviously, the poor darling is forced to sell overpriced aquarium rocks to afford her Walmart DIY French tips ;P
It kind of disturbs me that after realizing she was wearing a ring and not just balancing a rock on her finger, my next thought was that it was time for a manicure. In my defense, my roommate has been pointing out to me when she needs a manicure and why.
Also, I would like to think the statement this ring makes is, “I am an idiot who paid money to put a giant rock on my hand.”
Truth, sincerity, honor, self love, courage, communication, eloquence, integrity, trust, clairvoyance, clarity, prophecy and openness? All from something chipped out of a New York City sidewalk? I’m sold!
Is she sure that’s amazonite? Because it sure looks like schist to me.
And I really took it for granite that one of you guys would have made that joke already. But I’m glad I got to do it because rock geek humor cracks me up.
When I read the title “Rocky Horror,” I was expecting something Rocky Balboa related. When I scrolled down and saw the ring, I couldn’t help but imagine Sylvester Stalone’s face painted on the rock. It would be an improvement.
Amazonite is ‘alright, I guess, but have you heard about the amazing healing and curing properties of a pumice stone? If only she knew about them, she’d definitely make a ring with pumice, so that she can scrub those gnawed and chewed on fingernails instead of covering them up with fake tips. Yik!
What exactly is the statement it makes — ‘I am unable to flex my fingers in more than one direction’? ‘I spent a wad of cash to make lifting my hand difficult’?
That much for a chunk of Amazonite? Damn, I could easily sell mine as ‘supplies’ for that much. Wonder if I can get this seller to buy it. Then they could make another ring for the other hand.
This person opened her shop half a year ago and already has more than 700 sales… I just simply can’t laugh at her products for that reason only…red with envy…
But how I loved looking at the rip-offs! All very practical apart from the dead leaf. Swallow the tablets if you find yourself seriously depressed, dial an ambulance when feeling sick afterwards and eat your pizza while waiting for them to arrive! Only hey, you would need three hands to wear these rings at the same time!
I try to avoid saying anything negative about the people in these listings (because they generally can’t help being idiots), and just trash their crap, but… If anyone ever needed to learn to duckface, it’s the women in these photos.
@45 Lol, that’s freaking awesome and so much more dangerous But sadly I have to pass, money’s tight and my Grandma already gave me an amethyst stone, I’ll just cut corners and glue it to an adjustable ring back myself
You would have thought that the first thing I would’ve seen was the big ‘ole rock, but no. The diva in me saw the nail bed issue first. Hasn’t anyone learned anything from the home shopping network? Beautiful nails SELL crappy jewelry! lol
Thirty-two dollars for a hunk of rock on a cheap adjustable ring? I think someone was using the epoxy in a poorly ventilated place before coming up with that price.
(I finally got my internet connected in the new apartment and let me say, it has been a long week without Regretsy.)
I would kill for her mailing list though. I would love to market to 714 individuals stupid enough to buy gravel on a dollar tree adjustable ring! Also I would like to know where the 714 people live so I can avoid them, because I’m scared of people who want to wear gravel rings.
Despite how ample it is, the surface doesn’t seem level enough to balance a cocktail on. Nice idea, though–jewelry that doubles as a coaster for your flirtini.
Very popular this spring on all the fashion runways: raw uncut stone rings and poorly manicured fingernails. Yes, rocktail rings and not-so-cute-icles mean having a little whimsicle fuckery at your fingertips.
Trust me. When in a fist fight with superman, that chuck of green Kryptonite ring will come in far more hand that the slightly more stylish pizza ring.
I spent the tail end of the worst vacation EVER in Colorado Springs. The fact that someone who lives there is trying to pass this off as art does not surprise me.
(Trust me. It REALLY was the worst vacation ever.)
Apologies if someone or ten people have already said this (I tend to read all the comments AFTER posting just to be a huge tool) :
But that phone ring is literally too feasible for words. It’s like looking into the not-at-all distant future. Everyone always has to have their phones in their hands, anyway, so why not on top? : D Now you can see immediately if you have a text!
Pizza ring, too. Who needs utensils? It’s like those Girlscout cookies that you can put on your fingers, but now the ring is reusable instead of edible.
A little late, but these instructions just came to my e-mail this morning. Sharing so we can all make ourselves one of these exquisite cocktail rings. Here’s the biggest shocker, it takes less than an hour to make. I would have thought such quality would take days and days of grueling toil.
January 28, 2011 at 1:37 pm
I’d rather have the pizza cocktail ring anyway, it is prettier and more useful.
January 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm
lol @ the french tips with the fucked up nail beds…
So if amazonite is supposed to promote truth, sincerity, honesty, and communication how does this seller get off trying to scam some one by selling a five buck rock for 32 dollars?
January 28, 2011 at 1:43 pm
Might come in handy in a bar fight….
Then you could really rock a bitch’s world when she gets too snarky.
January 28, 2011 at 1:44 pm
What kind of statement is that? You’re not fully clean unless you’re Zest®-fully clean?
January 28, 2011 at 1:47 pm
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January 28, 2011 at 1:48 pm
Sounds like she’s got the power of the crystal meth running through her mind if she thinks she can sell the shiny stone from the Home Depot borders mix.
January 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm
With the “power of the Amazon running through this crystal,” I’d like to try backhanding the seller.
January 28, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Self love? I can only imagine how painful it would be to diddle myself with THAT thing on!
January 28, 2011 at 1:52 pm
When I propsed to my wife, I dropped a porterhouse steak on her hand. She said it was pretentious and exchanged it for something classy and more subtle – a petite filet mignon.
January 28, 2011 at 1:55 pm
The phone ring is marketable!!!! DO IT!!!!
January 28, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Funny – in all the years I studied Geoscience in college, when I had to memorize all sorts of properties of rocks and minerals and such, those darned professors never did bother telling me which stones would make me see the future. To think it would just take an etsy seller to enlighten me! I’m calling the Bursar and demanding a refund on Monday.
January 28, 2011 at 2:01 pm
She could have at least painted something on the rock. Geez. This is what happens when you let uncreative people have a hot glue gun.
January 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Also, for some strange reason, I feel like I want to have pizza for dinner tonight. Mmmm…pizza cocktail ring.
January 28, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Just last month I was in the Amazonian Jungle and accidentally swallowed some tap water.
I could definitely “feel the power of the Amazon running” through me – does she make toilet bowl rings?
I really could have used one.
January 28, 2011 at 2:06 pm
I somehow don’t think that pizza ring would last too long being worn by me.
The pizza on this ring inspires an overwhelming feeling of greasy deliciousness…
January 28, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Those fingernails clearly speak loudly for their owner when they state “I’m useless”.
January 28, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Is this for people who take exception to being flashed “fuck you” pumps? (Oh, I’m so SORRY, I didn’t mean for my ring to knock you in the eye like that!!!)
January 28, 2011 at 2:30 pm
I wonder if the seller is doing this in an effort to get the money to buy a rock tumbler so they can make REAL jewelry out of pretty stones and not these hunks of crap they found in the quarry when her husband had to buy gravel for the driveway.
January 28, 2011 at 2:32 pm
OMG A portable pumice stone so I can take care of my corns on the go.
January 28, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Hey now, stop ragging on the seller and her craptastic manicure! Obviously, the poor darling is forced to sell overpriced aquarium rocks to afford her Walmart DIY French tips ;P
January 28, 2011 at 2:38 pm
I would love to have one of these, know lots of bitches that need their teeth knocked out, but could I have it in Amethyst? I like purple the best
January 28, 2011 at 2:39 pm
It’s not even a GOOD specimen of amazonite. For fuck’s sake.
January 28, 2011 at 2:40 pm
Hey, somebody has to make accessories for Betty Rubble.
(“It’s a living. Braaawk!“)
January 28, 2011 at 2:44 pm
It kind of disturbs me that after realizing she was wearing a ring and not just balancing a rock on her finger, my next thought was that it was time for a manicure. In my defense, my roommate has been pointing out to me when she needs a manicure and why.
Also, I would like to think the statement this ring makes is, “I am an idiot who paid money to put a giant rock on my hand.”
January 28, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Truth, sincerity, honor, self love, courage, communication, eloquence, integrity, trust, clairvoyance, clarity, prophecy and openness? All from something chipped out of a New York City sidewalk? I’m sold!
January 28, 2011 at 2:53 pm
The statement this makes is a little boulder than I’m ready to make.
January 28, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Is she sure that’s amazonite? Because it sure looks like schist to me.
And I really took it for granite that one of you guys would have made that joke already. But I’m glad I got to do it because rock geek humor cracks me up.
January 28, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Statement being “Help my hand is trapped under a rock!”
http://fandangogroovers.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/127hours.jpg
January 28, 2011 at 3:00 pm
The statement heard wearing this ring would be “I have an itch, and I don’t dare try to scratch with this damn ring on – HELP ME”
January 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm
#26: Gneiss jokes.
January 28, 2011 at 3:08 pm
According to Wikipedia, “it is doubtful whether green feldspar occurs in the Amazon area.”
January 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm
I love that the rock is out of focus and her sick a** nails are plain as day.
January 28, 2011 at 3:24 pm
That thing completely hoses Rock, Paper & Scissors.
January 28, 2011 at 3:26 pm
When I read the title “Rocky Horror,” I was expecting something Rocky Balboa related. When I scrolled down and saw the ring, I couldn’t help but imagine Sylvester Stalone’s face painted on the rock. It would be an improvement.
January 28, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Just think how satisfying it would be to throw *that* at your cheating boyfriend than an ordinary ring.
Something to buy yourself (with his money) when things are on the rocks.
January 28, 2011 at 3:34 pm
If you like it then you should’ve put a rock on it.
January 28, 2011 at 3:44 pm
I believe that the statement made is “I don’t know how to cut or polish rocks.”
January 28, 2011 at 3:45 pm
someone needs to get their nails filled.
January 28, 2011 at 3:49 pm
This is worse than even a pet rock
January 28, 2011 at 3:57 pm
Wear it with brass knuckles for the ultimate in portable self-defense.
January 28, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Amazonite is ‘alright, I guess, but have you heard about the amazing healing and curing properties of a pumice stone? If only she knew about them, she’d definitely make a ring with pumice, so that she can scrub those gnawed and chewed on fingernails instead of covering them up with fake tips. Yik!
January 28, 2011 at 4:08 pm
If lex luthor had one of those made of kryptonite he could pimpslap superman like a pro
January 28, 2011 at 4:18 pm
What exactly is the statement it makes — ‘I am unable to flex my fingers in more than one direction’? ‘I spent a wad of cash to make lifting my hand difficult’?
January 28, 2011 at 4:32 pm
uhh… did it take 127 HOURS to make this?
January 28, 2011 at 4:39 pm
That much for a chunk of Amazonite? Damn, I could easily sell mine as ‘supplies’ for that much. Wonder if I can get this seller to buy it. Then they could make another ring for the other hand.
January 28, 2011 at 4:45 pm
@ #20- You’re in luck! She has one with Amethyst on it!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/66567841/amethyst-cluster-statement-cocktail-ring
And Quartz, and Herkimer Diamonds, and Celestial Indigo Aura Quartz …huh??
Those poor rocks…
January 28, 2011 at 4:46 pm
You can get it cheaper at Amazonite.com.
January 28, 2011 at 4:48 pm
I’d like to see the matching earrings
“my goodness how big your ear lobes have grown!”
January 28, 2011 at 4:48 pm
On the bright side, they super-glued two adjustable ring backs to it, so it’d surely fall off very soon.
January 28, 2011 at 5:06 pm
I would totally rock the pet rock ring! This definitely needs google eyes.
January 28, 2011 at 5:38 pm
too bad it’s not big enough to hide the bad nail job
January 28, 2011 at 5:39 pm
p.s. I guess it inspires “truth” because if you lie, I’ll punch you in the face with my ugly rock ring
January 28, 2011 at 5:42 pm
she also has bullet jewelry with crystals … so, everything else is so earthy and natural, just like the bullet shells? wtf?
January 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm
So, if the rock can help her see into the future why is she selling on Etsy and not just going straight to her buyers she sees in the future?
Wouldn’t that be much easier?
January 28, 2011 at 6:04 pm
Woman. Use the money you obviously saved NOT hiring a hand model and get the stone cut. Tsk.
January 28, 2011 at 6:07 pm
#53-Unfortunately for her, this is the future she saw; selling crappy jewelry on Etsy for the rest of her life.
January 28, 2011 at 6:38 pm
This person opened her shop half a year ago and already has more than 700 sales… I just simply can’t laugh at her products for that reason only…red with envy…
But how I loved looking at the rip-offs! All very practical apart from the dead leaf. Swallow the tablets if you find yourself seriously depressed, dial an ambulance when feeling sick afterwards and eat your pizza while waiting for them to arrive! Only hey, you would need three hands to wear these rings at the same time!
January 28, 2011 at 7:09 pm
Statement jewelry? Her statement seems to be “I don’t give a f***.”
January 28, 2011 at 7:17 pm
Can I use it as a glass eye if I get tired of wearing the ring?
January 28, 2011 at 7:58 pm
@ #43 codexhammer:
Damn you, I was just about to crack a joke about it taking 127 seconds for the glue to dry. Two points:
1) Stay outta my head, and
2) If you’re gonna be in there anyway, at least dust something.
January 28, 2011 at 9:05 pm
That would want to be super, super, super glue holding that chunk on a ring blank. I might convo her about that.
January 28, 2011 at 9:10 pm
It’s a good thing this stone has the ability to create a feeling of power within you – you’ll need it to balance that boulder on your finger all day.
January 28, 2011 at 9:57 pm
I would /facepalm this but that rock would knock me out or give me a black eye.
January 28, 2011 at 10:38 pm
I try to avoid saying anything negative about the people in these listings (because they generally can’t help being idiots), and just trash their crap, but… If anyone ever needed to learn to duckface, it’s the women in these photos.
January 28, 2011 at 10:58 pm
I have the pizza ring, it’s a conversation starter
January 29, 2011 at 1:52 am
the only statement i see here is “i go to shitty mall salons for my cheapass gel nail manicures. oh, and i glued a rock to my hand.”
January 29, 2011 at 6:19 am
She probably raked it out of the rockface with those nails, anyway…
January 29, 2011 at 6:58 am
@45 Lol, that’s freaking awesome and so much more dangerous
But sadly I have to pass, money’s tight and my Grandma already gave me an amethyst stone, I’ll just cut corners and glue it to an adjustable ring back myself 
January 29, 2011 at 11:09 am
You would have thought that the first thing I would’ve seen was the big ‘ole rock, but no. The diva in me saw the nail bed issue first. Hasn’t anyone learned anything from the home shopping network? Beautiful nails SELL crappy jewelry! lol
January 29, 2011 at 1:01 pm
After browsing her shop, I want to buy stock in E6000 Epoxy.
January 29, 2011 at 2:14 pm
In honor of James Franco’s Oscar-nominated performance in “127 Hours.”
January 29, 2011 at 7:33 pm
Judging by those nails I would say she mined that rock herself… by hand!
January 29, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Thirty-two dollars for a hunk of rock on a cheap adjustable ring? I think someone was using the epoxy in a poorly ventilated place before coming up with that price.
(I finally got my internet connected in the new apartment and let me say, it has been a long week without Regretsy.)
January 29, 2011 at 10:17 pm
Pizza cocktail ring uuuuuuhhhhhh droooool
January 29, 2011 at 11:01 pm
I would kill for her mailing list though. I would love to market to 714 individuals stupid enough to buy gravel on a dollar tree adjustable ring! Also I would like to know where the 714 people live so I can avoid them, because I’m scared of people who want to wear gravel rings.
January 30, 2011 at 5:40 am
Despite how ample it is, the surface doesn’t seem level enough to balance a cocktail on. Nice idea, though–jewelry that doubles as a coaster for your flirtini.
January 30, 2011 at 8:33 am
sure, and if using it promote trust and communication doesn’t work, it also does an awesome job of knocking a few teeth out
January 30, 2011 at 8:35 am
oh yeah, and Amazonite is not found anywhere NEAR the Amazon river.
January 30, 2011 at 10:07 am
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b69/myuuchan/styles/cat_ring.png
January 30, 2011 at 11:04 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
January 30, 2011 at 11:18 am
I’ve (very quickly) learned that anything with the word “statement” is fuckery gone mad!
January 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Very popular this spring on all the fashion runways: raw uncut stone rings and poorly manicured fingernails. Yes, rocktail rings and not-so-cute-icles mean having a little whimsicle fuckery at your fingertips.
January 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Someone’s confused about what people mean when they say they want to wear a big rock …
January 30, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Is there an anvil in the series?
January 31, 2011 at 4:25 am
Oh my god… you have Sprint?
(Taaaackyyyy)
January 31, 2011 at 6:06 am
This would seriously interfere with my typing… I’m sorry, my Farmville time would suffer too much.
January 31, 2011 at 7:00 am
At least all the chiropractors will be happy with the rise of business…
January 31, 2011 at 8:14 am
i’d “rock” it.
sorry…bad pun.
January 31, 2011 at 8:35 am
Trust me. When in a fist fight with superman, that chuck of green Kryptonite ring will come in far more hand that the slightly more stylish pizza ring.
January 31, 2011 at 9:06 am
I spent the tail end of the worst vacation EVER in Colorado Springs. The fact that someone who lives there is trying to pass this off as art does not surprise me.
(Trust me. It REALLY was the worst vacation ever.)
January 31, 2011 at 10:14 am
There’s totally room on there to put a bird on it.
January 31, 2011 at 10:42 am
My first thought was… those are not crafter’s nails.
January 31, 2011 at 11:02 am
Apologies if someone or ten people have already said this (I tend to read all the comments AFTER posting just to be a huge tool) :
But that phone ring is literally too feasible for words. It’s like looking into the not-at-all distant future. Everyone always has to have their phones in their hands, anyway, so why not on top? : D Now you can see immediately if you have a text!
Pizza ring, too. Who needs utensils? It’s like those Girlscout cookies that you can put on your fingers, but now the ring is reusable instead of edible.
PS:Leaf ring–coming to an Anthropologie near you.
January 31, 2011 at 11:16 am
Oh right. The rock. Can I get a roll ring to go with it as a set? Or maybe a Rick? */shot*
January 31, 2011 at 11:18 am
Rock ring: part of a set, along with the wheat bracelet, wood anklet, sheep necklace, and matching brick earrings. Anyone up for Settlers of Catan?
January 31, 2011 at 11:36 am
Girl1: Hey! Tom and Mary got engaged!
Girl2: Did he go to Jared?
Girl1: No, but he did buy her quite a rock!
February 7, 2011 at 9:11 am
A little late, but these instructions just came to my e-mail this morning. Sharing so we can all make ourselves one of these exquisite cocktail rings. Here’s the biggest shocker, it takes less than an hour to make. I would have thought such quality would take days and days of grueling toil.
http://networkedblogs.com/dYTKt