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Things That Are Not Steampunk #16

Lady Farnsworth’s acrylic blend button up cardigan barely left room for her petticoats.

62 comments on Things That Are Not Steampunk #16

  1. viktrola
    January 24, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    What it lacks in Steampunk, it more than makes up for in Ugly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +293

  2. tinkerjenn
    January 24, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Hideously ugly, maybe…but definitely not Steampunk.

    I wonder if I can take torn sweaters, sew them together in the ugliest way possible and sell them as Steampunk. hmmmmm

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  3. skarah1313
    January 24, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    That cardigan looks like it’s busting forth some sort of weird growths. It needs a seam ripper to liberate it from it’s parasitic twin!

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

  4. skarah1313
    January 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    Tinkerjenn,try old oily shop wrags.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  5. joshpincusiscrying
    January 24, 2011 at 1:51 pm

    I long for the gritty and industrious Victorian days of 1988.

    Thumb up Thumb down +260

  6. buffoon
    January 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    Steaming-pile-of-poo more like.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  7. mutajen
    January 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    i knew i recognized this!
    http://www.strawberry-shortcake.net/CollectorsInfo/PriceGuide/OrangeBlossom.htm
    1981 was the height of steampunk, apparently.

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

  8. creepydolls
    January 24, 2011 at 1:56 pm

    Mom Jeans and an ugly granny sweater= Steampunk soccer mom!

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  9. bethtastic
    January 24, 2011 at 1:58 pm

    I totally saw that at Walmart yesterday.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  10. bootsychoo
    January 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    “asymmetric hems” = upcycled “I sewed it crooked”

    Thumb up Thumb down +114

  11. calculusgirl
    January 24, 2011 at 2:06 pm

    I think Cindy Lou Who got access to the sewing machine again…

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  12. Nahhh
    January 24, 2011 at 2:11 pm

    “Not steampunk”? It’s not even “reconstructed.” It’s “I-tore-it-up-and-rammed-it-through-the-serger.”

    …which isn’t even a “sewing machine,” when you get right down to it. Sideways.

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  13. gnommy
    January 24, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    She already lost me at “acrylic.” The rest is just icing on the fuglycake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  14. LeeLooDallas
    January 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    You can see where the mannequin tried to cut it’s own wrist. That should tell you something.

    Thumb up Thumb down +124

  15. froufroubijou
    January 24, 2011 at 2:14 pm

    not only does she have a sewing machine she has a serger. see what horrors you can do with a serger here: http://www.etsy.com/listing/63134268/reconstructed-black-sweater-with-silk

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  16. GrumpyMonster
    January 24, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    That poor sweater, it never had a chance.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  17. Calophi
    January 24, 2011 at 2:22 pm

    I find it hilarious how many people take close-up pics of their crappy work in case we needed to see how horrible it was with more detail.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  18. SquirrelSquire
    January 24, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    The only way in which this could possibly be a steampunk accessory is if two acrylic cardigans were mauled and fused together in a collision between a dirigible and a steam locomotive. That could maybe also explain how this fashion disaster came about.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  19. purple_peacock
    January 24, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  20. zepp0marks
    January 24, 2011 at 2:42 pm

    This is Steampunk, the lesser known Annette Funicello movement.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  21. gordiarama
    January 24, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    This reminds me of a Jello salad my grandma used to make for her bridge club.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  22. Candyann
    January 24, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  23. badkitty
    January 24, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    Grandma might have been steampunk, but I’m pretty sure her curtains (or, rather, her “uphostery”)weren’t.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/64621917/shabby-chic-uphostery-scarf

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/61823060/reconstructed-shabby-chic-sweater-with

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  24. GoGoMama
    January 24, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    For sale at Anthropologie, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  25. trousers rolled
    January 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    In about 10,000 years when this sweater finally begins to decompose it may be worth $68 (not adjusted for inflation).

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  26. WhyLikeThis
    January 24, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    maybe it’s another typo
    Seampunk?

    Creamsiclepunk?

    screampuke?

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  27. HelenaHandbasket
    January 24, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    Say what you will, it is constructed excellently for flouncing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  28. fenrislorsrai
    January 24, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    If your clothes stick together in the dryer, you’re not supposed to sew them together that way!

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  29. mandalarain
    January 24, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    i dunno, i can see a clown in some 1890′s carnival sporting this

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  30. Kitten Tears
    January 24, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    I say my good man if you’d put your clockwork goggles on you’d see the microscopic cogs and gears in the fabric I’m certain I see a steam engine in the dots running those gears they reweave the fabric if you tear it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  31. ensoul
    January 24, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Steamfug.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  32. Nico
    January 24, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Does uh, the term “weavejunk” exist yet?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  33. Wednesday
    January 24, 2011 at 5:06 pm

    See, what we have here is merely a failure to communicate. Y’all are using the modern, slangy definition of steampunk. She is sticking with the classic Victorian meaning of the word: created by the ragpickers (aka “punks”) of the sweatshop-steamy parish poorhouses.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  34. Badger
    January 24, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    I want to see it in a room. Then I want to see someone flounce out of the room while wearing it.

    And Nico, I think you’ve hit on something with ‘weavejunk.’ I vote it henceforth be used to describe fugly upcycled supposedly Steampunk sweaters.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  35. Molly Earl
    January 24, 2011 at 5:26 pm

    Acrylic; Cheeto orange and calamine lotion peach; machine-made tank top lace; zip fly stonewash jeans. Yup, very 1889.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  36. sunnychapman
    January 24, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Thank god it’s ooak

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  37. ellaminnowpeadesigns
    January 24, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    Ewww ick. $68?! Really? My gosh, if that is $68 then I should really raise my prices! lol

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  38. Sid Spacegoat
    January 24, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    looks like Miss Havisham’s wedding dress, after the moths have eaten it and the rats and Miss H herself have peed and defecated on it for thirty years.
    So I agree with #33 Wednesday that there is a Victorian authenticity of sorts here

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  39. Jea
    January 24, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    It is to Steampunk. Its how the Victorians would dress in the future. Just add goggles…wah la.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  40. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    January 24, 2011 at 6:21 pm

    I have it on good authority that that particular shade of orange did not exist until the 1970′s – after the 3 Mile Island radiation leak, to be exact.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  41. gwhizzy
    January 24, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Help me with the color scheme “orange with peach circles.” I obviously need to adjust my monitor. I always thought peach was lighter than orange. Of course the hunter orange lace IS a nice touch. “Don’t shoot!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  42. fenrislorsrai
    January 24, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    thinking of things that are not are not Steampunk, how about Sarah Palin.

    http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/01/20/steampunk-palin-comic/

    WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  43. Mooples
    January 24, 2011 at 7:09 pm

    Putting the term “steampunk” as a tag reeks of gimmick. The seller is desperate to draw people to their page by any means necessary. I’m surprised the other tags weren’t: “twilight” “justin bieber” “this will look great on you” ” free puppy with purchase”

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  44. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    January 24, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    #42, you owe me my sanity and a cup full of brain cells that I lost following that link.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  45. sheltiepitbullfun
    January 24, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  46. tiny giraffe
    January 24, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Huh. Turns out my elementary school substitute teacher, Mrs. Gianello, was uber-steampunk. This sweater would have been paired with a giant plastic elephant necklace and maybe a red paisley scarf. (Yes, both.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  47. fallingforpieces
    January 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    If it weren’t heinous enough from the front be sure to check out the back. I’ve always wanted an orange sweater complete with a yellow butt flap…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  48. invaderhorizongreen
    January 24, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    why does this even have to exist MY EYES IT BURNS!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  49. Nico
    January 24, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    #34 @Badger – I like the idea of seeing the sweater leave a room, too. Good thinking. Who doesn’t love a good flounce?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  50. katfud
    January 25, 2011 at 12:27 am

    the Orange Prison Jumpsuit meme has been covered here before. Who says it isn’t PRISON Steampunk? Maybe something turn-of-the century inmates might have cut up their prison duds to make, while sekritly assembling their time-machines in the prison repair shop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  51. RocketeerAndRoll
    January 25, 2011 at 2:14 am

    I didn’t know Mrs. Roeper from Three’s a Company had a fashion line.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  52. pastyguy
    January 25, 2011 at 5:17 am

    Great. Now David Caruso can finally go to a costume party dressed as “Kathy”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  53. Dix
    January 25, 2011 at 5:35 am

    I really hope that that’s OOAK, because I’d hate to think there are more like it out there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  54. Holytape
    January 25, 2011 at 5:58 am

    This is steam punk, after all there will still be people with bad fashion sense in a dystopian future fueled by coal. Just because society collapses does not mean everyone gains a keen Gothic fashion sense.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  55. rawrthedinosaur
    January 25, 2011 at 6:32 am

    I get the feeling an awful lot of their seams are “asymmetric”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  56. grimmlynn
    January 25, 2011 at 9:32 am

    Because people who are looking for steampunk and stumble across this disaster will suddenly have the urge to dress up like a giant creamsicle? Yeah, that’s a good marketing strategy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  57. jerseycow6
    January 25, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    “Lettuce Edges” on all of your work = “I can’t hem knit fabrics so the hems lie flat so I’m doing this and hoping you think it’s decorative.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  58. Candlejack
    January 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    Upcycled? XD

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  59. Kestris
    January 25, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    They have THIRTEEN of them hideous things tagged as ‘steampunk’.

    Not even remotely close.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  60. mymainecoons
    January 26, 2011 at 4:29 am

    Since it was “upcycled”, does this mean it is upscale?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  61. Nico
    January 26, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    Steambunk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  62. Fredrick
    December 5, 2011 at 10:05 am

    Wow, this sweater meets the style with perfection. Not so sure I am ready for it.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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