Adam and Summer’s Eve (NSFW)
And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and also gave unto her husband with her, and he did eat.
And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they had been naked. So she put Scrunchies in her hair and gave herself a landing strip.
- Brazilians 4:20
January 20, 2011 at 9:38 am
There is so much fuckery in this picture I just even know where to start.
January 20, 2011 at 9:38 am
ugh. I don’t even know where to start. see? the fuckery screwed up my grammar!
January 20, 2011 at 9:42 am
maybe its my shitty eyesight or maybe its genital warts but there is something suspicious in the lower right of this photo in the crotch region.
January 20, 2011 at 9:43 am
I didn’t know there were scrunchies back then. Nor did I know the snake partook of the apple…hmm is Eve listless or numb because aside from her vacant stare, she is wearing her leaves on her head instead of on her naughty bits.. MIght I also add that this ‘Garden” looks more like a desert…
January 20, 2011 at 9:43 am
I agree abbynormal… not sure i’d want a high gloss print of that action…
January 20, 2011 at 9:44 am
I see neither acting or modeling in this photo.
Or are we talking about the snake?
September 18, 2011 at 9:45 am
LOVe your handle, btw
January 28, 2012 at 3:41 pm
The snake was exceptionally good in this re-presentation of the Eve in the Garden of Eden. However, Eve appears to be disinterested in the apple. Perhaps she is picking it out of contractual obligation or maybe she has had a bushel of apples already and is full. I don’t know.
January 20, 2011 at 9:45 am
Wait, what is above her right shoulder? That isn’t sky…is that a pigeon or a wing? Was eve an archangel and we weren’t told about it?
January 20, 2011 at 9:45 am
I’m still trying to figure out what the feather is behind her right shoulder, was she supposed to be wearing wings? If so I don’t remember Eve having wings. Plus the landing strip and the ponytails I didn’t learn about either.
January 20, 2011 at 9:46 am
Sooo much fail i can’t keep up i have things to do…argh the phukery is overwhelming!
January 20, 2011 at 9:47 am
Eve is confronted with the serpent, the forbidden fruit, and yet, she’s looking at something else entirely. Masterful direction.
January 20, 2011 at 9:47 am
This listing was pulled quicker than that apple!
January 20, 2011 at 9:48 am
@botany13 wow i didnt see that till you mentioned it. i was too busy staring at the crotch rot.
January 20, 2011 at 9:49 am
“Adam, I present you with Eve. Eve, I give you a Lady Schick razor.”
January 20, 2011 at 9:50 am
I didn’t realise the razor has been invented in biblical times. That’s why everyone had those giant beards, right?
January 20, 2011 at 9:50 am
wow…just wow.
January 20, 2011 at 9:51 am
I’ve looked at this picture twice and the only question I can come up with is why is the grass pink?
January 20, 2011 at 9:53 am
what the hell is she looking at? shes doing that thing my cats do when they sit in front of me and stare at things no one else can see just to creep me out. this could be some kind of an emo cd cover.
January 20, 2011 at 9:53 am
Yeah! And Eve wasn’t white! And she didn’t have a belly button! Nor a terrible highlighting job! Or stripper makeup! Or tan lines! Or fake ivy for a crown! Or a parking lot in which to stare off into the middle distance! AND THAT’S NOT EVEN AN APPLE TREE!! IT’S ALL WRONG!!! BLASPHEMY!!! HEATHENS!!!
:::shakes fist vehemently:::
January 20, 2011 at 9:59 am
And lo, Eve spoke unto Adam, like, whatevs…
January 20, 2011 at 10:07 am
If you are going to photoshop a background, at least make it believable.
Also you need to tell the model where to pretend to look. Maybe dangle an object from a fishing pole. Something.
January 20, 2011 at 10:13 am
The photographer in me is irritated more than her bikini line. Despite the Mohican, MAC hooker makeup, dollar store scrunchies, ligature marks from her too tight bra, and leftover Christmas ivy garland pinched from Grandma’s house…all I can say is, “I COULD HAVE LIT THIS BETTER WITH MY BALLS!!!!”
January 20, 2011 at 10:17 am
Snake: What’s up.
Eve: Nuttin’
Snake: You bored?
Eve: meh.
Snake: Try this.
Eve. meh.
God: You have eaten the forbidden fruit. You must leave or something.
Eve. meh.
God: Don’t make me come down there.
God: Really, don’t make me come down there. There a repeat of Dharma & Greg I want to watch.
Eve. meh.
January 20, 2011 at 10:22 am
It troubles me that this picture depicts a tanning bed existed before the eating of the forbidden fruit.
The only thing this picture is missing now is a pierced nipple.
January 20, 2011 at 10:24 am
That poor boa is probably wondering what the hell it’s doing in a tree.
January 20, 2011 at 10:24 am
Never trust a God who has to tie apples to trees.
January 20, 2011 at 10:25 am
Aw, comon, they weren’t even TRYING. How much were they asking for this atrocity, does anyone know?
January 20, 2011 at 10:26 am
That’s what you get for auditioning your “talent” from a strip joint.
January 20, 2011 at 10:27 am
Scratch my own stupid comment, it was right there. $35. I wouldn’t pay $5 bucks for it.
Is that blue eyeshadow?
January 20, 2011 at 10:36 am
I had diet coke out the nose when I got to the Brazillians 4:20.
Maybe I was getting beaten with color coordinating spoons by nuns when this part of the bible was reviewed.
January 20, 2011 at 10:36 am
Was this chick recruited from the aftermath of the local frat toga party?
January 20, 2011 at 10:39 am
Call me an optimist, but I think this picture could have been saved if she even looked mildly interested in taking it. She looks like she got nekkid to settle a bet.
January 20, 2011 at 10:41 am
I wish we could see this in a room.
January 20, 2011 at 10:45 am
The longer I look at this picture the crappier it becomes…
January 20, 2011 at 10:56 am
“Shit if I’m gonna stand naked next to a snake.”
“Fuck no babe, I just put the snake in the tree and shoop you in.”
“K but just keep that fukkin snake away from me.”
“Awright now grab the apple and look religious.”
January 20, 2011 at 11:00 am
I never realized that apples grew hanging from trees by green yarn. I swear, next time my cousin who lives on an apple farm complains about how hard it is I’m gonna tell him to man the fuck up and get a pair of safety scissors.
January 20, 2011 at 11:03 am
Who knew the Garden of Eden was in Fresno?
January 20, 2011 at 11:10 am
Does anyone else think this looks like a screenshot from the opening of a seventies porno? “Deep Throat 7: The Downfall of Man.”
January 20, 2011 at 11:11 am
Jesus shaves.
January 20, 2011 at 11:27 am
All I kept thinking was that I sure hope whoever took this picture didn’t spend a lot on renting that snake.
January 20, 2011 at 11:29 am
Is it bad that the thing that bothers me most about this as a print is the fact that the lighting is so terrible?
God, I’ve been moderating art sites too long …
January 20, 2011 at 11:30 am
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January 20, 2011 at 11:44 am
I’d buy this picture to put into the “Levels of Discipline” frame. That’ll keep those kids in line more than those spoons ever will.
January 20, 2011 at 12:05 pm
And on the 9th day God created a razor for Eve’s snatch
January 20, 2011 at 12:08 pm
and the Lord said, “This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh; and lo she shall have manicured eyebrows and a landing strip of pubes…”
January 20, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Nice Columbian boa, though. Too bad you can’t see it better.
January 20, 2011 at 12:16 pm
It’s so rare that I fail to read April comments first – oh well, no delete button for me.
January 20, 2011 at 12:24 pm
“Give Skanks to the Lord, for He hath brought forth the Fruit of the Twine”
January 20, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Och! the snake has a more convincing and interested expression than “Eve” does and reptiles don’t even have facial muscles!
January 20, 2011 at 12:34 pm
This looks like a shitty porn movie. Ah well, I’ve summed up the Bible with that sentence, anyway…
January 20, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I’ve never seen someone managing to stand upright while at the same time looking so very much like they were sleeping with their eyes open.
January 20, 2011 at 1:05 pm
Looks like Cain and Abel were cesarean births.
January 20, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I think this is the seller:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/mikers?ga_search_query=mikers
January 20, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Little known fact. This is not Eve, but Adam’s other wife. No, not Lilith. Amber.
January 20, 2011 at 1:33 pm
My thoughts went as follows:
1. Nice boobs.
2. That’s … I’m pretty sure that’s an oak tree.
3. This looks like the park behind the library where I grew up. I started looking for traumatized children in the background.
4. Do people really think the vertical pubestache is sexy?
January 20, 2011 at 1:41 pm
I’m starting to wonder if she’s trying to put the apple back. She looks so indifferent to the thought.
January 20, 2011 at 1:42 pm
@52 Manybellsdown, I think it’s called a “paint brush” trim.
January 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm
I thought it looked like an oak tree, too. Apples from an oak tree…it’s a miracle!
January 20, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Perhaps this seller needs to seek out some ideals from someone else. I hear someone’s got a notebook full of ‘em.
January 20, 2011 at 2:13 pm
What in gods name is on her crotch?
Is that vagaziling? Is it a skin condition?
With the awful lighting it looks like corn flakes glued to her skin.
January 20, 2011 at 2:16 pm
She’s greedy. Reaching for an apple when she’s already got a nice pair.
January 20, 2011 at 2:18 pm
What the hell would Eve even shave with? A sharpened rock?
January 20, 2011 at 2:56 pm
I know you all are probably right about it being ‘shopped, but I still like to imagine that the photo shoot went down at one of those Reptile Worlds right on the interstate after the photographer bribed the kid on duty by telling him he could watch “to make sure the snake is kept safe.”
January 20, 2011 at 3:07 pm
Good God I love you people. *dies laughing*
January 20, 2011 at 3:24 pm
You know, just because you have a snake and a girl who’ll take her clothes off doesn’t make you an artist. If it did, we’d ALL be posting pictures on Etsy.
January 20, 2011 at 3:31 pm
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January 20, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I think the snake is checking out her rack.
January 20, 2011 at 4:05 pm
@55 BillsBayou Darn I was hoping to start a naming trend with “pubestache”.
I wasn’t being sarcastic about the boobs though. Very nice.
January 20, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Very poor lighting. This subject is in dire need of fill flash due to the fact that PHOTOGRAPHY wise she is under exposed.
January 20, 2011 at 5:24 pm
This doesn’t surprise me. I had a migrane Monday, and watched an all-day Interventions marathon. I have seen what people will do for their “medicine”.
January 20, 2011 at 5:33 pm
oh, it’s a TRENDSETTER poster frame. well, that changes everything.
January 20, 2011 at 5:41 pm
I REALLY with I could turn the camera around and see who took the picture. My imagination can’t even form a good picture of what he/she/it might be like.
January 20, 2011 at 6:04 pm
And the Lord did NOT grin. In fact, I think He just might have frowned.
January 20, 2011 at 6:24 pm
The ex-minister’s daughter in me is troubled by the belly button and the obviously shaved pubes and armpits.
She’s also horrified by the snake in the tree, since technically, it wasn’t a snake, it was a ‘serpent,’ which, in Old Testament parlance, meant a lizard-type creature. But I suppose Eve getting tempted by a gecko isn’t nearly as sexy. Funnier, but not nearly as sexy.
January 20, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Young lady, stand up straight, suck in your tummy and quit looking like you’re on roofies this instant!
January 20, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Huh. I knew there was a reason I liked Lilith better.
January 20, 2011 at 6:57 pm
lol at Badger…And lo, a gecko tempted Eve with cheap car insurance. And he was cute, and she said Yea, although the car hath not yet been invented. And the Lord cursed her with bad jokes about women drivers, even though men have higher accident rates.–Hyundai Genesis, 3:7
January 20, 2011 at 7:16 pm
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January 20, 2011 at 7:21 pm
must warn, the above is explicit. I can’t believe I spent time looking for her, but something told me that her lack of acting skills (even in a photo) and those breasts may qualify her for that kind of “modeling” and “acting”.
January 20, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Eve there looks super bored. From what I heard, temptation was supposed to be a lot more fun than that.
January 20, 2011 at 7:43 pm
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January 20, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Of course she’s wearing scrunchies. If you date this photo by the quality, it was taken in 1994. No wonder she looks so fucking bored.
January 21, 2011 at 1:57 am
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January 21, 2011 at 10:30 am
wow, that’s really incredibly awesomely bad. Let’s buy it and share.
January 21, 2011 at 11:53 am
No. No it is NOT true.
Hey, you asked, seller-guy.
January 21, 2011 at 12:53 pm
This guy is a true artist, note his description of this photo:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/54390885/in-your-dreams
I don’t think thyme is the only herb this guy is dealing with!
January 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Extremely late for this party, but I’ve got a new title for the seller: Full Monty Python
January 21, 2011 at 6:29 pm
So Eve was into vagscaping…OK I’ve lead a sheltered life as far as seeing “landing strips”
Who knew directional cone flashlights and flags could be considered “sex toys”
January 22, 2011 at 6:04 am
The garden of Eden looks pretty barren. No wonder Eve is so bored.
January 22, 2011 at 9:39 pm
O.O
January 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm
@#86. I think you should resist the temptation to put those words into a search engine. Rule 34.
January 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm
She has the same facial expression as I do at work after a night of heavy drinking. Somehow I feel like Eve would have mustered up a little more enthusiasm before taking the plunge to eat the forbidden fruit.
January 23, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Anyone else think that “Model/Actress” really means “chick I paid $15 & said she could put it as Model/Actress on her resume”?
January 25, 2011 at 2:43 am
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January 28, 2011 at 10:33 pm
I always wondered if Eve was landing strip or shaved … now I know.
April 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Is it just me or does it look like she’s about to shove the apple in the snake’s butthole?
July 4, 2011 at 8:32 pm
she’s probably the only person who would actually buy this picture. Since Eve probably didn’t have tan lines, eye makeup, a landing stip, and ponytails. But what do I know.