Ah, this is because the real sonic screwdriver doesn’t work on wood.
OMG, my ovaries hurt.
Thirty bucks? For a functional custom sex toy? What time period did you just step out of, honey? Talk about a cosmic screwing…
Hop up on the table, put your feet in the stirrups and I’ll be with you as soon as someone answers my Alchemy request.
Would you like a magazine while you’re waiting?
Wow. You have really got to love Dr. Who to be so specific on it being the ELEVENTH Doctor’s screwdriver. I didn’t realize they were so different.
Somebody likes their visits to the proctologist a bit too much.
This was the real reason the UK was up in arms over Smith becoming the new doctor.
I just notice the bonus points are for sound.
Now the kids can ask Mommy what she keeps fixing late at night in the bedroom.
Someone must have watched this a little too much:
(the bit to which I’m referring is in the last 2 minutes or so – but the entire thing is hilarious)
My hoo hoo just clamped shut at reading this.
Im more suprised they don’t want tenth doctors screwdriver, he was way cuter….
If you like Doctor Who you would have a preference… you don’t want to fantasize about first doctor by accident…ew..
A proper Whovian fantasy should involve MULTIPLE doctors, shouldn’t it? (did I say that out loud?)
Who in the *what* now??
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
It might be more fun if you leave it open at the end.
Must light up and bonus points for sound? How about I take a few more dollars instead of imaginary points that I can’t cash in for anything??
Just when my girl parts thought it was safe to return….
Thank you, Dear Alchemy Requester – I’m now afraid of my dentist, my ob/gyn, my general practitioner, all handymen, school janitors and any TV medical drama actor.
Isn’t Lompoc the location of a California state prison?
all the whos down in whoville…
@Buzzkill CGE Yes, you did. lol.
(The clip was brilliant, thanks.)
Clearly my fantasies are not specific or multiple-partnered enough…but I’ll still avoid the probe-looking sex toys.
Is anyone else uneasy about the thought of putting a highly-underpaid artist’s electric-current running creation in their nether regions? For thirty dollars I am imagining a hand mixer, duct tape and Christmas lights….
#6, Wilma: “Somebody likes their visits to the proctologist a bit too much”
I have to call you out here: your screen name is FINGERDOO!
The first image that entered my head was this.
wilma: Oh my! I hope that’s not a hot seller, but I have a feeling…
Well, Whoever gets you off..
If there are people who makes dildos fashioned after animal dicks (both real and fantasy) and sparkly Twilight dildos, I’m sure there’s somebody who makes Doctor Who sex toys. But probably not for $30, or even $60, most likely.
My inner geek died a little.
I’m with Rawr. If this doesn’t already exist, I’ll sell my Hello Kitty Hitachi magic wand.
I third Rawr’s thought. It *has* to exist.
On another note : WHY the Eleventh Doctor? Tenth or Third all the way!
Its really the price that’s upsetting. Sex toys are really one of those things where you get what you pay for.
Names for the toy:
If she’s a real fan of the show, she’s probably larger on the inside than she is on the outside.
And she’ll only pay $30 for all that work!? Cheapskate!
It would be so perfect if this turned out to be the same person who requested the Star Trek buttplug. Add in a Stargate cock-ring and you can have a complete set of sci-fi sex toys. Jeez, and I always thought my nerd-ism knew no bounds…
Any discriminating Dr Who sex toy owner knows you use K9 for masturbating – not the sonic screwdriver!
#31 miss_mercurial: don’t forget the Star Wars anal beads and the Firefly bondage mask!
“and not too skinny”. I guess the Dalek manipulatory arm ruined her for the Dr’s tiny tool.
I will humbly admit that I would enjoy a Tenth Doctor Sonic Screw”Me”Driver, preferably with the Tenth Doctor attached. Wait a minute…if David Tennant is there, I won’t need his sonic screwdriver.
I think we have a fundemental misunderstanding of what “screwdriver” means
and also: GAAAAACK!
At least they didn’t ask for a vibrating Dalek.
i want to hear this 911 call…
does that make me a bad person?
I made one in my workshop. It’s $300 for the prototype. If you want it for $49.95, you can get it after I get my Chinese manufacturer to finish the first batch of 2500 units. If you want it for $30.00, as per your Alchemy request, you can buy it used at a flea market in about 2 years.
Mmmmmmmmmm, Lompoc, CA. Isn’t there a big prison there?
one word exterminate.exterminate!!!!
I’m not even a fan, but “Vibratardis” had me laughing so loud I’m sure everyone in our apartment building heard.
Bonus points if it includes a Dalek buttplug. What’s the conversion rate of bonus points to bullshit again?
congrats we have yet another entry for sex toys that will send you to the E.R.
I have a Sonicare toothbrush I don’t use any more…
(although he’d probably prefer Ten, too.)
This guy just needs a colonoscope.
“Who looks at a [dildo] and thinks ‘this could be a bit more sonic’?”
“Haven’t you ever been bored?”
Okayyyyyyyyyyy. I have my share of sexual fantasies involving sci-fi characters, but they don’t involve screwdrivers, spaceships, guns, or a browncoat being lodged painfully up my cooch (or plugging my butt). They mostly involve, you know, the *characters.*
And have none of these people heard of the Magic Wand?
I’m honestly surprised one of these doesn’t exist. Obviously not an officially licensed one, as it’s a family show on the BBC for chrissake, but seriously.
Not that I want one or anything.
Oh, as a long-time Dr. Who fan (and by long-time, I mean starting with Three and working my way through Seven, then taking up again with Nine), I can guarantee you it already exists.
That said, I’d sooner have Five. Not his sonic screwdriver, just Five. And I’d be willing to pay extra if they could throw in Turlough (I like my men rude and ginger).
Just as I was iffy on the idea of a handmade Lava lamp, I’m not certain I’d trust a handmade vibrating device that’s a light-up replica of a sonic screw driver made by someone willing to take only $30 for it.
If you spend less than $30 on a machine-made vibrator, at worst you run the risk of it breaking 10 minutes after you take it out of the packaging.
This person has either never bought a vibrator, or actually wants harm to come to their genitals.
So this is what Dr. River Song meant when she said “Spoilers sweetie”
Let me just add, I too would rather have Doctor #10 than his sonic screwdriver. Although Doctor #5 is not bad either…………………..
Okay, thank you #54, I so agree!
Things that we do not want a bargain price on should definitely include anything intended to go in a vag! Just like plastic surgery, you get what you pay for (Courtney Love, anyone?)
I plead the fifth on any Whovian fantasies that may or may not include the ninth doctor and mickey… what? I’m dirty…
I present to you: http://gizmodo.com/5044738/dr-who-sonic-and-laser-screwdrivers-are-really-vibrators-in-disguise
I’d like to see some impractical sex toys with non-sci fi TV themes. Lets get creative, people!
Ouch. I don’t know…
@sheltiepitbullfun – I like this idea. How ’bout….The Denny Crane Vibrating Cigar!
This woman shows that she is multi-functional, while using it if the headboard gets loose she can just whip it out and tighten up the nuts!
Holy crap. I live in Lompoc. Since its such a small town, I’m guessing my sleuthing shouldn’t take long..
One of the sounds HAS to be a booming Dalek voice screaming ‘MASTURBATE!!!! MASTURBATE!!!!!’
seems simple enough, just attach a vibrating bullet to a curling iron?
oh, must light up… darn
I’ll echo the sentiments of a few of the other posters. I’d rather have the Tenth Doctor. He can leave the screwdriver back in the Tardis.
this. is. awesome.
Some people shouldn’t be allowed to breed. :/
Why MUST it LIGHT UP? I’m pretty sure you don’t need a flashlight to guide her into the bay.
Vibrator + stickers and a Sharpie to make some gizmo designs + duck tape on a mini light from a convenience store keychain. Done. If you want it to play music, light up like a disco bal, purr like a kitten and be microwavable and dishwasher safe, that will cost extra. Convo me.
I guess it stops reproduction.
On a vaguely related note:
I suppose that’s one way to unlock your inner Time Lord.
i’m fairly certain that they are looking for a toy to be modeled after the sonic screwdriver, and perhaps not an exact replica…though the latter would be more intriguing… i would fork out at least $200 for something custom made…$30 is truly insulting!
It’s bigger on the inside.
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