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YOU’RE ON NOTICE

67 comments on YOU’RE ON NOTICE

  1. whaapplewha
    January 10, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    I’ve never had the desire to sit on Stephen Colbert’s face, but I’m sure this will fulfill someone’s fantasy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +267

  2. CraftyKittie
    January 10, 2011 at 4:17 pm

    Not sure I’d ever sit on the couch, let alone in the middle of it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  3. gwhizzy
    January 10, 2011 at 4:19 pm

    Someone making $5000 + $4.37 off of a freecycle curb run is insane.

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  4. ivynightwind
    January 10, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    wow I didn’t know Stephen Colbert was an older version of Harry Potter!

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  5. trousers rolled
    January 10, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Finally, the perfect piece to go with my John Stewart trap door.

    Thumb up Thumb down +219

  6. whimsiclesthenics
    January 10, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    Just to be clear, this is one of those mind-blowingly-awesome posts, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +106

  7. Irella Vent
    January 10, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    Sit on my face and tell me that you love me,
    I’ll sit on your face and tell you I love you…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj02dhZBGZw

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  8. Marlo
    January 10, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    I doubt Stephen Colbert really wants some random person’s ass that close to his lips. Stephen Colbert kisses the ass of nobody!

    Thumb up Thumb down +136

    • kimoutre
      April 10, 2011 at 1:09 pm

      Amen! And he ain’t too keen on sniffing random asses, either!

      Thumb up Thumb down +1

  9. Nahhh
    January 10, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    You wouldn’t have to worry about overnight guests. Or cat-hair. Or cats, for that matter.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  10. Wilma Fingerdoo
    January 10, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    Can I get my Stephen Colbert without the guyliner and deep frown lines?

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  11. mtopia
    January 10, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    That is both sooooo cool and sooooo terrifying. I don’t know how I feel about it. Perhaps from other angles it looks like he’s melting like a clock in a Dali painting.

    Thumb up Thumb down +73

  12. Kitten Tears
    January 10, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    This will look dead sexy next to my Glen Beck and Hanna Montana bean bag chairs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +92

  13. hippiejo74
    January 10, 2011 at 5:18 pm

    Is it sad that I want this and am repelled by this at the same time??

    Thumb up Thumb down +73

  14. trousers rolled
    January 10, 2011 at 5:24 pm

    Hey, the seller took my line! That’s it! Prepare for a sternly worded note once I speak with my lawyer father.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  15. Badger
    January 10, 2011 at 5:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -31

  16. Badger
    January 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -13

  17. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    January 10, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    I love Stephen Colbert, but I don’t LOOOOOOOVE Stephen Colbert.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  18. WhyLikeThis
    January 10, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    Awesome!
    i want to see it on the Colbert set

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  19. boonedocked
    January 10, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    WTF Seller: Stand here.
    Visitor: Here?
    WTF Seller: No, here.
    Visitor: Here?
    WTF Seller: No. Specifically HERE.
    Visitor: For what reason?
    WTF Seller: Whatever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +69

  20. LeeLooDallas
    January 10, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    So, after I sit on this, I can call him “Steve”, right?

    Thumb up Thumb down +99

  21. BillsBayou
    January 10, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    Stephen appears to be sniffing the couch model’s ass.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  22. Badger
    January 10, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    LeeLoo-Though I’m fairly sure Miss Manner’s never addressed that particular matter,I believe that etiquette does allow you to call a man by his first name after you’ve sat on his face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +97

  23. jadedcoca
    January 10, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    i always wanted to sit on his face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  24. sheltiepitbullfun
    January 10, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Great guyliner–there should be a Clockwork Orange version of this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  25. honesthyperboles
    January 10, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    Someone needs to report this. We are dealing with a mastermind artisan/conspirator here.

    This is a meticulously planned trap. The seller is clearly a furniture designer for assassins who need their victims to stand perfectly still in the middle of the room with their heads tilted slightly to the left, leaving them in a vunerable state of awe perfect for impending mortally wounding bludgeons to the head.

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

  26. Mooserepellant
    January 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm

    Must be another one of those people who likes to decide the price of their product with a random number generator (plus 5000).

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  27. jinglebat
    January 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    I definitely think Colbert needs this on his set! I think it’s great in a why-the-hell-would-anyone-make-that-and-why-the-hell-would-anyone-want-it kind f way.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  28. Raekitty
    January 10, 2011 at 6:35 pm

    Is it just me or does that look completely photoshoped? It just looks so fake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  29. gnommy
    January 10, 2011 at 6:37 pm

    Helen, could we please see this in a room?

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  30. oy
    January 10, 2011 at 6:58 pm

    Umm, it’s just pretending to be a shitty couch to be ironic.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  31. whaapplewha
    January 10, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Call me bitchy, but I’m a little annonyed that the seller keeps changing the listing description based on what is being written here.
    Yoohoo… you’re trying to hard, buddy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  32. methuselah
    January 10, 2011 at 7:16 pm

    Can I view it in a room with a bearskin rug?

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  33. botany13
    January 10, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    I’m calling it, this guy wants to be on RegrEtsy… Is it fair to keep him here because he wants it? Or is regretsy for those amiss of their tragic designs?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  34. knittin-kitten
    January 10, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    I feel the same way hippiejo74, you’re not alone.

    On the other hand I just want to thank all you guys for keeping my spirits up during the long, long job search. As of today I am finally gainfully employed!

    (And can keep the cat in the manner to which he is accustomed.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  35. cattiekit
    January 10, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    @ #31 whaapplewha:

    Just a faux-hipster with an aggravated case of Wishful Thinking. ;>D

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  36. trousers rolled
    January 10, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    #34 knittin-kitten

    Hey! Congratulations! That’s really awesome and what a relief for you (and your cat).

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  37. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    January 10, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    If it’s a hot day and I’m sweaty and wearing perhaps a thong and not much else, is the painting going to transfer onto my thighs, ass, and back? Or will I just have to peel myself off the couch?

    I think a more interesting painting on a couch would be a PedoBear trompe d’oeil (if I spelled that right) that looks like you have to sit on his lap to sit on the couch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  38. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    January 10, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    #34 Knitten-kitten, congrats on reentering the workforce!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  39. BillsBayou
    January 10, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    I wonder if I could commission a plein air patio table of Jon Stewart?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  40. HeyRed
    January 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    The $4.37 is what is driving me the most crazy…

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  41. creepydolls
    January 10, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    Would it be creepy if you had sex on his face?

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  42. evacooper
    January 10, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    i love the 4.37 at the end…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  43. TheSheep
    January 11, 2011 at 6:05 am

    I know sex sells, but will someone please get the bimbo out from in front of the couch so we can see it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  44. knittin-kitten
    January 11, 2011 at 6:15 am

    @Buzzkill & trousers-Thank you!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  45. Jea
    January 11, 2011 at 8:06 am

    for way too long I thought the list stephen colbert was holding was real and I thought man…he reads regretsy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  46. BillsBayou
    January 11, 2011 at 8:39 am

    Finally, a couch you want your cats to claw.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  47. Holytape
    January 11, 2011 at 8:54 am

    For 5000 dollars, I want Colbert to sit on my face.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  48. elizaday418
    January 11, 2011 at 9:18 am

    clearly the seller is looking for the colbert bump.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  49. LittleLottie
    January 11, 2011 at 9:27 am

    ANY living room? Clearly, you have never visited my mother.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  50. Em
    January 11, 2011 at 10:15 am

    I actually really, really want this. oh, if I had the money…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  51. GothicRoses
    January 11, 2011 at 10:52 am

    My dream come true.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  52. banished
    January 11, 2011 at 1:47 pm

    my dreams where crushed by the lack of a Bj and the bear themed couch. It seem to makes more sense for 2 reasons.
    Stephen Colbert lacks a pet monkey named bear. Stephen Colbert more than likely pays property tax.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3GpxAyM6yc

    well it’s no less imbecilic.
    :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  53. whaapplewha
    January 11, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    If you lay on the couch with the Edward/Robert Pattinson, I’m pretty sure that it would qualify as a threesome.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  54. emteresaw
    January 11, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    This belongs on the Colbert Report set and nowhere else.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  55. HelenaHandbasket
    January 11, 2011 at 5:56 pm

    It’s the perfect set-up for your ACME anvil living room assassinations.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. invaderhorizongreen
    January 11, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    you could save yourself $4,500 dollars or so by getting a wall stick on and gluing it to the couch

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  57. kittykatt
    January 11, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    Looks like he is thoughtfully sniffing her behind. What strange new scents has he discovered?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  58. whaapplewha
    January 11, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Oh Jesus… I need to amend my post:

    If you lay on the couch with the Edward/Robert Pattinson PILLOW, I’m pretty sure that it would qualify as a BADASS threesome.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  59. Nico
    January 12, 2011 at 12:11 am

    I already have this couch (which only cost about $250), and I don’t have a trapdoor, or a hanging anvil – so … I’m not sold.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  60. StinkBait
    January 12, 2011 at 6:20 am

    One of the biggest mistakes this photographer made. They didn’t sweep the floor before shooting. Then they didn’t bother to remove the dirt on the floor in post processing of the image.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  61. Stretch65 is considering Steampunk
    January 12, 2011 at 8:42 am

    $5000 may seem steep – but the couch comes with it’s very own Colbert bump

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  62. waywardtopher
    January 12, 2011 at 8:53 am

    All that is required to get a visitor to stand in a specific location is some rope and/or a roll of duct tape. Hell of a lot cheaper than buying a couch with the face of a Stephen Colbert drag king painted on it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  63. angelbuttons77
    January 12, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Hubby’s Valentine’s Gift – FOUND! Thank you, HK, for doing my shopping for me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. mad2physicist
    January 12, 2011 at 2:27 pm

    Seriously, what is with the short-skirt girl with her ass just in front of Colbert’s lips?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  65. Hardwyre
    January 13, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    If she comes with the couch, I’m in for 1!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  66. jabberwacky
    March 30, 2011 at 6:14 pm

    Can I get this in Conan O’Brien Orange instead?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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