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Play With Your Own Balls

Well Gaia, that’s where you and I part company.

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81 comments on Play With Your Own Balls

  1. P-Kitty
    December 17, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    My cat gives me hairballs for free. I don’t know why I would want to pay $1k for someone else’s cat’s hairballs…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +156

  2. BillsBayou
    December 17, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Who wants to be the first to give their pussy a pearl necklace?

    Thumb up Thumb down +266

  3. OhTheHumanatee
    December 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Having your male cat play with “his very own personalize balls” is just cruel and unusual. Chopping them off is bad enough, but rubbing his face in it is even worse.

    Thumb up Thumb down +158

  4. BillsBayou
    December 17, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    “By the way, I am not allergic to cat hair, thank goodness!” However, due to a recent court ruling, I’m required to carry at least 10 EpiPens with me for strangers who seem to choking on their own tongues when they meet me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +142

  5. KibblesNBits
    December 17, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Shhhhh….you had me at “How can I sell this?…

    Really, how can you sell this?

    If I wanted a stranger to puff wet breath on my hairy balls, I’d go to $1 kamikaze night at the gay bar down the street.

    Thumb up Thumb down +459

  6. meowmeow
    December 17, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    At that price, you’ll surely get to keep them forever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

  7. joshpincusiscrying
    December 17, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Hmmmm… if cat hairballs go for a thousand bucks, imagine how much human hair would go for!

    And, to think, I almost quit my job sweeping up at the barber shop. Cha-CHING!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +73

  8. Wilma Fingerdoo
    December 17, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    The cat’s a boy, his name is Gaia and he loves his necklace? Lady, instead of crafting hairball jewelry, play the poor cat some show tunes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +282

  9. GoreKitten
    December 17, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Hummm… Not only do we get to play with the cats balls but we also get the grime from under her couch and stove… TOTALLY FREE!

    Thumb up Thumb down +61

  10. GoreKitten
    December 17, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Hey look; free shipping!
    What a deal indeed! :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  11. polkadotbananas
    December 17, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    She didn’t discover any process. Instead it is a half-ass technique for wet felting. And I spend too much damn time vacuuming up cat hair to want to drop a grand on your cat’s hair balls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +85

  12. fallingforpieces
    December 17, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    I know they say the on etsy the story sells, but if you story is five lengthy paragraphs and includes references to collected used used cat hair balls from under your stove to use as supplies…maybe not so much.

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  13. fallingforpieces
    December 17, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    excuse the typos!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  14. Patty got abducted by a Steampunk Alien
    December 17, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I prefer my allergic reactions to be from fresh cat hair, thank you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +64

  15. pantie
    December 17, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    just looking at that necklace makes me itchy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  16. grimmlynn
    December 17, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    And remember, spay or neuter your owners. Because people like this don’t need to be part of the breeding pool.

    Thumb up Thumb down +165

  17. nlan1
    December 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -28

  18. Nico
    December 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    I’m pretty sure Gaia would sacrifice just about any of his balls to get this lady to shut up for five minutes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +102

  19. Staccato the Idiot Chorus Boy
    December 17, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    And to think, I spend so much time trying to get rid of our cat’s hair… I’m clearly a fool for not monetizing it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  20. jesusmotherbug
    December 17, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    If I had a crystal ball and were the betting kind, I’d wager that this listing is the first of many steps towards kidnapping Justin Bieber.

    Thumb up Thumb down +137

  21. Jess-sicle
    December 17, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    Mark my words, I will NEVER own a necklace that may have fleas. And neither will any other sane person.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  22. GrayPyre
    December 17, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    Detachable cat goiters?

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  23. janncri
    December 17, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    Wow! Free shipping! That seals the deal.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  24. TooManyCookbooks
    December 17, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    HOLY CRAP! At last, a way to put my cats to work! Get ready to earn your keep, furballs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  25. Jea
    December 17, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    What a beautiful cat.

    The lady is a whack-a-doodle, though.

    Thumb up Thumb down +84

  26. Victoria Regina
    December 17, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Poor male kitty named after a female goddess. Why not Guy-Uh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  27. Kathleen in Canada
    December 17, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    I’ve got three cats. Wow… I’m sitting beside a gold mine here!!! I think one of my cats can read as she’s looking awfully scared now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  28. Willknitforshoes
    December 17, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    Right. Just what I need. More freakin’ cat-hair on my clothes. No thanks. Using up one lint roller a day is my limit.

    However, should she ever run short of raw material I have a very fluffy ragdoll that sheds like a sonofabitch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  29. pavlovsdaughter
    December 17, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    and Gaia was the prettiest prettiest cat at the ball!

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  30. amazon
    December 17, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    I think she has the definitions of “priceless” and “worthless” mixed up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +87

  31. sugartits
    December 17, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    she seems like the kind of lady who would name her toes. (o.O)

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

  32. stretch65: is a Montana state trooper on an upcoming Criminal Minds
    December 17, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    “the fur has a salmon tinge” sounds like Gala needs an after dinner bath or has been eating too much salmon

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  33. unseeliepixie
    December 17, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    Just because you spent a mint on your cat, does not mean that the flotsam that results from him is worth the same amount.

    Secondly, anyone else expect poor Gaia to suddenly break into ‘Memories’ after reading her description of him?

    Thumb up Thumb down +69

  34. Caitsera
    December 17, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    Mmmmm… Wet breath and cat fluff…

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  35. sibylla
    December 17, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    1. What a cute cat!
    2. WTF?????

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  36. Buzzkill Crying Glitter Eagle
    December 17, 2010 at 3:49 pm

    1. Gsia is the name of a goddess, and one of my ex-coven mates (who likes her balls on the large side, I think), and also of the Earthican eco-system (i.e. “mother nature”). I am against gender-stereotyping, but this is… I don’t know.

    2. I also ball up wads of cat hair when I clean out the cat brush. The wads shortly go into the trash, otherwies one of the cats will eat it and then puke it up later, usually in one of my shoes.

    3. Possibly regetsy-bait (especially with the pricetag)?

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  37. SuperAwesomeFairyPrincess
    December 17, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Looks like more than just the balls of one cat, let me tell you.

    Really cute cat, to the listing’s credit. Very pretty.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  38. SuperAwesomeFairyPrincess
    December 17, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    By the by, you can’t name a male cat ‘Gay-uh’ and not expect it to end up playing with balls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  39. stretch65: is a Montana state trooper on an upcoming Criminal Minds
    December 17, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    #37 or licking them

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  40. Yarnbarney
    December 17, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Just what I’ve been looking for! A necklace that will make my eyes water and go all bloodshot!

    seriously, I have a Springer Spaniel who leaves hairballs all over the house…oddly enough, I do not feel the urge to make a necklace with them, or toys for her amusement. I feel like “why the hell did I insist on the dog who sheds like no tomorrow?!?!?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  41. catherder
    December 17, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    I’m torn…this is utterly silly. But the cat is beautiful. And Ragdolls do have incredibly soft fur.

    And I have a ziploc bag full of hair brushed out of my part-Persian. I was collecting it for a laugh, there was so much. And then she died. So guess who’s hanging on to that bag of cat hair?

    But I wouldn’t felt it and put it up for sale.

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  42. WhyLikeThis
    December 17, 2010 at 4:11 pm

    yes, yes allright,Lady you win. your cat is simply the cutest smartest sweetest most precious thing to ever barf up a half eaten rodent.
    nothing in the world is so important as your darling ikle piddy.
    holy relics of him are in fact entirely warranted

    …. he may in fact be the Meowssiah!

    now will you please go away and bother someone else? take your hair lumps and bucket full of crazy with you!
    ….and no, you may not borrow my scissors!

    now you a

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  43. WhyLikeThis
    December 17, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    yes, yes allright,Lady you win. your cat is simply the cutest smartest sweetest most precious thing to ever barf up a half eaten rodent.
    nothing in the world is so important as your darling ikle piddy.
    holy relics of him are in fact entirely warranted

    …. he may in fact be the Meowssiah!

    now will you please go away and bother someone else? take your hair lumps and bucket full of crazy with you!
    ….and no, you may not borrow my scissors!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  44. WhyLikeThis
    December 17, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    ach! sorry bout that.
    don’t know how i double posted that one

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  45. DamnitsGlam
    December 17, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    Wow. I have 17 cats. I’m gonna be a freakin’ billionaire!

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  46. StarDust2110
    December 17, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Wow all I can say stop playing with your pussy cats balls and find another hobby, theres been frightfully far too much time & thought gone into this !

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  47. wtf indeed
    December 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    All that trouble, when she already said – just leave the cat and its fur will mat. Get some scissors and instant balls/beads/whatever.

    Oh wait – I get it. That would negate Etsy’s “handcrafted” rule.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  48. knittin-kitten
    December 17, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    @Buzzkill-I’m with you. Poor kitty.

    Not only is this waaaaaay over priced, I’m thinking kitty isn’t too happy about this. And cats have a funny way of showing how displeased they are………..

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  49. suedonim
    December 17, 2010 at 6:03 pm

    I’m more alarmed that she considered putting cat hair in the compost than that she wants to sell it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  50. invaderhorizongreen
    December 17, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    @#48 knittin-kitten

    KITTY IS NOT AMUSED … you shall have a nice present waiting for you… on the very expensive carpet and those nice drapes…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  51. HelenaHandbasket
    December 17, 2010 at 7:38 pm

    Please welcome our first entrant from Animal Hoarders, ladies and gentlemen.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  52. Badger
    December 17, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    Dear Etsy Seller,

    Your flame-point ragdoll Gaia has filed a request with our firm that you change his name to Gaius forthwith, or he’s going to start leaving ‘trophies’ on your bedroom pillow.

    Sincerely,
    Rabid Badger
    Offices of Dewey, Cheatum and How

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  53. Bratfink
    December 17, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    Who names their MALE cat GAIA?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  54. Nico
    December 17, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    I will never understand you wonderful freaks. Everytime I think, “oh crap, I’m sure that just offended everyone” – THATS the comment you like.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  55. WinchesterLambourne
    December 18, 2010 at 12:05 am

    How are they so white and soft? All my cat manages to leave is clotted, matted, dry fur that looks like tobacco that came out of somebody’s mouth.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  56. ~*Aria*~
    December 18, 2010 at 12:12 am

    In my opinion, this is no different than wearing lamb’s wool.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  57. Nico
    December 18, 2010 at 1:41 am

    See? This proves my point! I say I love you, and you DON’T like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  58. Lucretia Borgia
    December 18, 2010 at 2:24 am

    Well if you want a more reasonable version … a genuine Siamese Seal Point hairball, gem grade quality … don’t miss this treasure …

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/42043025/fabulous-feline-furbelow-hairball

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  59. thewritingspider
    December 18, 2010 at 4:12 am

    I wonder if this would work with ferret fur…we have six…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  60. Tanya
    December 18, 2010 at 6:16 am

    This should make a lovely “compare and safe” post.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  61. Tanya
    December 18, 2010 at 6:20 am

    I understand the necklace for sale is intended for a cat of a lucky buyer? But if they already have a cat why spend $1000…

    If it’s intended for a person… this lady should read etsy forums more where people scream “do not model your jewellery/hats etc on a life person, dead person, or animal!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  62. StinkBait
    December 18, 2010 at 6:32 am

    Abuse of pussy if you ask me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  63. purple_peacock
    December 18, 2010 at 8:59 am

    $1,000 for a couple of mouldy cat-hair balls?? Excuse while I go scream at the inhumanity.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  64. lillianna_13
    December 18, 2010 at 9:00 am

    When someone says “my cat left me some furballs” my first thought is that it came out of their mouths.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  65. TheSheep
    December 18, 2010 at 9:19 am

    @ #58
    And I notice it is reasonably priced!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  66. amyruthanne
    December 18, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    If it’s “priceless” then why is it listed for sale, and at $1,000? I’m just saying…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  67. MadScientistK
    December 18, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Why can’t she groom her cat and use the fur to make yarn to knit cat cozies like the rest of us crafty crazy cat ladies?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  68. ABurt
    December 18, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    Immersion therapy for my newly acquired cat allergy….

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  69. tarabu
    December 19, 2010 at 4:18 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  70. skycrawler
    December 19, 2010 at 10:59 am

    I find it amusing that Gaia had to model his own necklace. You would thing that since she is finding it soooo hard to part with she would want to model it herself. ;)

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  71. magic knickers
    December 20, 2010 at 3:15 am

    For ONE THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS I’d want the cat too.

    Actually, I’ll just have the cat, he’s beautiful ;__; but girl keep your balls.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  72. GrumpyPants
    December 21, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    your cat might miss his balls if you sold them…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  73. GrumpyPants
    December 21, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    I can derelick my own balls, thank you very much.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  74. Gen
    December 22, 2010 at 8:14 am

    $1,000 for a cat hair ball necklace?! I don’t think so, not when I can get a dog fur scarf for less than $50! http://www.etsy.com/listing/63872898/top-racoon-dog-fur-scarf-s
    Choke on that Gaia

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  75. Iwillnotbuycrap
    December 24, 2010 at 6:14 am

    I don’t need to point out that Gaia is only a female’s name. She is the ancient Greek earth goddess, MOTHER earth. There’s no getting around that one. Artemis as a male cat’s name I’d let by, but not Gaia for fucks sake.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  76. helfyre504
    February 10, 2011 at 5:06 am

    Maybe we can start a kitty cast-off trend….my cat pukes every other day, and I’m sure I could smoosh it into some ball-like shape. I hear cat shit is also a good craft medium, but I haven’t tested that one yet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  77. 1ofapair
    March 12, 2011 at 6:54 am

    To the seller: I think you should add some accent colors. I cut a few mats off my brown-haired dachshund last night. I’ll sell them to you for $25/piece. Convo me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  78. jadebonterra
    April 22, 2011 at 8:15 am

    Trying to sell your cat’s hairballs for $1000. Boy, this seller really thinks the rest of the world is stupid. I’d say, if the rest of the world disagrees with you, perhaps you are wrong…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  79. Crossbow
    May 4, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    As the official Crazy Cat Lady on my block, I say: WTF????

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  80. Meta
    July 12, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    So… she posted this knowing it would never sell?

    Etsy = Facebook for crazy cat ladies with too much time on their hands?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  81. Frank Booth
    February 22, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    I roll my boogers into balls when I am stinking drunk amd picking my nose but, SHEESH, I don’t try to make a profit off ‘em.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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